maria323s withdrawal journey

January 5, 2016

Hi, I'm new to this site. I wanted to tell my story in hopes that it may help others reading this. I was taking Cymbalta for many years for anxiety. My therapist recommended I get off it, He didn't think I needed it. He said it was toxic for me to be on it so long. I made the decision to taper off it. I did tons of research on how to taper. I bought a scale and gel caps and measured out the beads. I got down to 9 beads eventually. I stopped taking it April 20, 2015. A few days later my HELL began. I journaled my experience to keep track of all my withdrawal symptoms. I didn't expect the horrific things I felt. I lost my sleep, had brain fog, morning panic, adrenaline surges, heightened state of awareness, nausea, agitation, bouts of weepyness, the list goes on. It seemed to happen in phases that lasted a few weeks to a month each. I didn't have windows and waves for months. It was one massive wave! I had no Dr. to turn to and when I went to my GP they told me to get back on meds. It truly was the scariest thing I have ever been through. I ended up in urgent care because my anxiety was really bad. I tried so many things, I did accupuncture, MMJ, I even went to a priest. I was really desperate for relief. I'm 8 months into withdrawal and I am feeling much better. I still don't have my sleep completely back yet but it's getting there. My advice to anyone thinking about getting off these drugs is do a slowww taper. My taper was much too fast. I would also try to have a Dr. on board who understands what these drugs do to people I now have a therapist I'm working with and a holistic Psychiatrist who is helping me with supplements.

January 5, 2016

Well in the absence of welcoming voices i would like to give you a warm welcome to sa.

9 months taper off 60mg after 10 years use is actually fast, anyone would think that was slow though ...how could we ever have known?

Are you able to confirm if you are still taking seroquel and lorazapam?

I'm not sure from your drug sig if you are or not. When did you start them? Did your doctor advice to you the nature of these two drugs?

You say you did tons of research on how to taper...what taper research did you use to inform your taper ..out of interest?

You might like to read this link

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

and this

Brain remodeling

Dont worry you are not alone i did a clueless taper over about 9 months as well.

welcome

nz11

January 5, 2016

Hi Maria, welcome aboard, I think you will find lots of information, support and others struggling just like you. I actually haven't started my taper yet, but so thankful I found this place beforehand. I'm also curious about your tapering method, and how you use the sleep drugs--insomnia is a big issue for me, and I haven't even cut back yet! Where are you now with symptoms?

Sarah

January 5, 2016

Hi, thanks for responding and welcoming me! I was taking Lorazepam as needed when I lost my sleep and also when the anxiety got really bad. I was prescribed seroquel for sleep about 5 months into withdrawal. I was desperate for sleep and nothing seemed to help. I know Seroquel is an antipsychotic and at a low dose acts as an antihistamine. I currently am taking Snooze-in which is a natural supplement made by Vitamin Shoppe. It contains Melatonin,Valerian,Scullcap,Hops,Passionflower, Chamomile,Magnesium and Calcium. It is helping me sleep better. I only take the Seroquel if I wake at 2 or 3 and can't get back to sleep. I am really trying to stay away from drugs as much as possible. I got tapering info from the Cymbalta Hurts Worse facebook page and this site as well. I know I should have gone slower but I really didn't think my withdrawal would be as bad as it was. Thank you for the links nz11 Sarabera, I have morning anxiety and insomnia mainly.The mornings are really hard for me. I cry almost everyday.

January 5, 2016

Great thanks for the clarification.

You are doing fantastic to now be drug free and resolved to continue that way. Great stuff.

The mornings were bad for me too and i cried daily too.

In time albeit so slowly it did get better.

A great term we use here is AAFT...you might enjoy this link and associated vids

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10964-the-dr-claire-weekes-method-of-recovering-from-a-sensitized-nervous-system/

January 6, 2016

nz11

Thanks for the info on Claire Weekes. I wasn't familiar with her books. I can't tell you how much you have helped me today. My therapist tells me to replace fear with faith which I try to do but that darn fear is so powerful! I have been fighting my symptoms and I know I have to stop that and just let them be. I know they won't kill me. I guess it's the feeling of loss of control of my body that scares me. I know I have come a long way from the early months of withdrawal but it still throws me for a loop when I get hit with waves. Thanks again for your help. I had a really rough day today.

January 6, 2016

Hi Maria. Welcome. You will find lots of support, encouragement and information here to help you through your withdrawal . You might like to try Magnesium and Omega 3 ( fish oil) as supplements. These are what we recommend and many here have found them useful. Magnesium would be especially beneficial for your anxiety and even your insomnia. Some take dissolved Magnesium throughout the day, and find it helpful. It might be worth trying.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil

Ali

January 6, 2016

You are welcome maria,

Withdrawal isnt easy but you can do it.

Personally imo therapist jargon leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to ssri withdrawal.

To say replace fear with faith is to say you don't have enough faith and that is nonsense, what a guilt trip that person is putting you on... imo. Sorry if i am being a bit critical.

I have been aware of Weekes AAFT for a 2 or 3 years now but just this last year its really grown on me as a significant weapon in surviving ssri withdrawal and in self-soothing rather than running here and there for people to 'take it away'.

Love to hear what you think of this ...

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7571-☼-nz11-climbs-onboard/?p=201143

Not that i am against therapy but Petunia sums it up with

"While in withdrawal, look for activities and therapies which help you to accept and manage what you are experiencing, rather than engaging in techniques which are developed to change cognitively based anxiety and fear. Withdrawal symptoms are physiological in nature, they will fade away over time. It can be helpful to learn techniques to control any secondary cognitive fears (about the symptoms and condition), this is where CBT can sometimes be helpful, by learning ways to accept what you are going through and not increasing the anxiety with fearful thoughts."

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10283-polly1974-hello-new-member-here-if-thats-ok/?p=189556

just a little above that post brassmonkey explains it well with [insert mine]

One of the hallmarks of WS is a perceived amplification of [for those that didnt have this as original condition and those that did all feelings emotions thoughts, past hurts] the original condition. Which, as you are finding out, can be very frightening and debilitating. The good thing is, as time progresses and healing continues the condition will fade back ...Unfortunately, because it is chemically induced, or as we refer to it a"neuroemotion" there isn't a whole lot that can be done except ride it out. At thirteen months out you have a good start on it. There is a technique, AAF (Acknowledge, Accept, Float) that is helpful. With this you have to Acknowledge what is happening, explore the feeling and understand them. Then you must Accept that they are real, they can't harm you, and there is nothing you can do about then. That done you let them float off as you get on with your life as best as you can. Takes a bit of practice, but it can be really helpful.

Its the firing up of these neuroemotions a wdl manifestation that sends people into a state of fear and it is frightening but unless one is aware and has insight it sends people running to the doctor or a councellor (therapist ?)...well thats what it did for me.

This thread allows one insight into it...

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9809-neuro-emotions/

January 6, 2016

Alig, Hi thanks for the suggestions. I actually do use Magnesium Spray and Fish oil I should have put that in my introduction. I don't always remember to take them tho:) Nz11, I ordered the book by Claire Weekes "Hope and Help for your nerves" AAFT is something I'm gonna try to implement. The reason I chose to go to a therapist is because I really needed someone to talk to about what I was going through. I felt so alone. She didn't know that much about SSRI withdrawal but she does have a background in addiction. She gets that she can't take away my withdrawal but she can give me tools to help with regular anxiety. I actually gave her the website for recovery-road.org and she printed the whole thing out. She gets that its gonna take time for me to recover. I want to get my life back and I felt like I needed help going forward. I feel a lot of guilt and sadness about what I put my family through. I do have a good support system at home I call my mom when I feel bad(which is almost everyday) sometimes I go to her house and just cry and she reassures me that I'm getting better. My fiancé is also supportive but he's not the most sensitive person in the world. For the longest time he would question my decision to get off Cymbalta.

January 6, 2016

My fiancé is also supportive but he's not the most sensitive person in the world. For the longest time he would question my decision to get off Cymbalta.

Welcome to the site, Maria. You are really doing quite well given the time and amount you were on and the speed of taper.

I highlighted the above because this is all too common -- the other partner in a relationship doesn't want the "patient" to get off the meds because they were "helping". There is plenty of material on this site and elsewhere that shows the long-term downsides of being on these and other psych meds. If your fiancé, sensitive or not, cares about you, perhaps he will be willing to do a little reading so he can see that what you are doing is in his best interest if he's hoping to have you "whole" for the remainder of your time together.

Best,

Andy

January 6, 2016

Hi Andy, thanks yeah what I did was I had him read the recovery-road.org website. The do's and don'ts page and how to care for someone goinng through withdrawal. I think he finally realizes that I'm trying to heal from this poison so I can live a healthier life. You are right though. He didn't understand at first. I guess it's like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. He also is surrounded by people on these meds. His mom is on Prozac, my mom and brother are on Cymbalta, my aunt is on Prozac. They all recommended I get back on meds. when I was in acute withdrawal. I actually bought into it and got on Zoloft for 3 months because I was so damn scared of what my body was going through. I then realized I was making a huge mistake and got off it.

January 8, 2016

Hey Maria

Just wanted to put in two other book rec's ...its info dumping i know so sorry bout that

Anatomy of an epidemic by Whitaker

http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Epidemic-Bullets-Psychiatric-Astonishing-ebook/dp/B0036S4EGE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1452277440&sr=1-1&keywords=anatomy+of+an+epidemic+by+robert+whitaker

And Psychiatric drug withdrawal by Breggin

http://www.breggin.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=296

Im sure you can get these from the library .

Great idea to get the fiance to check out this site.

nz11

January 8, 2016

Maria , It can really make a huge difference , if you can educate your partner about this . NZ11 has given you some good books to read. Hopefully ,you can get your partner to read them , however if he's like my husband you will have to read bits & pieces, to him whenever you can get his attention ! LOL. Which isn't often!

Ali

January 8, 2016

Thanks guys! I read Breggins book but I haven't read Whitakers. My Fiance' is a great guy but he is a fixer. I think it frustrates him that he can't fix what i'm going through. Ali I'm pretty sure he has ADHD so it's hard to get him to listen sometimes

January 13, 2016

Hi, I'm almost 9 months off Cymbalta and I hit a wave that is totally debilitating. I'm jittery during the day and having anxiety attacks at night. When does this end? prior to this I would feel bad during the day and the evening would be better. I was able to rest at night.

January 14, 2016

Hi Maria , welcome to the site.

It's not uncommon for things to get rocky at around 9 months off , especially after 20 years of AD's.

You need to manage one day , each moment , at a time. You know that none of the symptoms are permanent , and they can disappear as quickly as they arrived.

Try to stay calm , Fresh

.

January 14, 2016

Thanks fresh! I went to a reflexologist yesterday and it actually seemed to help. thanks for the encouraging words

January 31, 2016

I have been in a wave for a month now. I feel so discouraged that at 9 months out I feel so sick. It's the first time I actually have to ask my family to help me do things. The fear/terror that comes with it is debilitating. I'm shakey, emotional and my body is revved up. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated.

January 31, 2016

Hello Maria - so sorry you are having such a rough time. Unfortunately we can't always control these nasty symptoms and how long they last. We can however try different ways of coping with them.

Are you able to get outside for a walk each day or a gentle activity. Maybe do something you enjoy that wi

ll distract you from the symptoms?

I found the above and doing progressive relaxation exercises and mindfulness help me a lot. It's just finding something that works for you.

Just try to stay calm and accept what is happening to you and know that it will pass. Just try to take one day at a time.

Hugs from Flowers xxx

January 31, 2016

Thanks flowers. I do get out and walk everyday and I try to distract myself as much as possible. This wave for some reason brings on intense feelings of desperation and panic. It's really hard to ride it out. This is the first time that a wave has left me so exhausted that I can't even clean my house

February 22, 2016

I am 10 months off Cymbalta and still in a wave. It comes on around 9-10 in the morning. It feels like my nerves are out of control. I cry everyday. Has anyone else experienced this at 10 months out? I'm starting to think there's something else wrong with me:(

February 22, 2016

Yes I was like this for about two years. I noticed my first window in the morning at about 16 months.

Up until four years I would cry very easily for little if any reason, and it was embarrassing in the presence of others.

This is withdrawal. It will recede in time.

Well done on being 10 months drug free. That is a huge accomplishment.

Keep on banking drug free days and better days are ahead.

February 22, 2016

NZ11, I'm having a hard time with this wave. I didn't expect it to go on this long and even my doctors say it's not WD that the crying is the return of my underlying condition. I never had depression before I was put on this poison. It just gets so discouraging when the docs don't even believe me.

February 23, 2016

Hi Maria,

Lots of people still experience symptoms at 10 months off, especially after a too fast taper and if you complain to your doctor, it will be called a relapse of previous condition or diagnosed as a new condition. At the moment, medicine doesn't recognize antidepressant withdrawal that lasts longer than a few weeks, so we have to hold onto our truth and do the best we can with help and support from the online withdrawal communities... like this one.

Feeling worse in the mornings is a common pattern, its connected with our cortisol cycle. When I was at my worst, I would start feeling bad around 4am - 5am and be at my worst at 8am, I could almost set a clock by it. I still have the same pattern, but nowhere near as bad as it was, so don't worry, its quite normal. Have a look through this topic: Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing cortisol spikes ...

How often do you take seroquel and lorazepam now?

February 23, 2016

_{_{Thanks Petunia. I felt so discouraged when my Gp and Psych said that withdrawal doesn't last this long. I too used to wake with the morning panic at 4 am. It has changed now. It feels like it's in my chest and it ramps up between 9-10. It was really bad a few weeks ago. My nerves were all over the place. It felt like I had snakes in my chest. It's probably one of the scariest waves I have had. I seriously have been crying for two months straight when the attacks hit me. I wasn't taking the Lorazepam until I got hit with this wave in Jan. I was in desperation mode. I don't like taking Benzos but I needed the relief. I don't take the Seroquel anymore either}}

February 23, 2016

It sounds like you are starting to feel a little better now? The wave is subsiding?

If you have to take a benzo, try and limit it to no more than once or twice a week. Taken regularly, you can become physically dependent within 2 weeks, sometimes even less. In a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal, benzos can cause adverse effects like rebound withdrawal and sometimes increased anxiety, so you do need to be careful with them.

February 23, 2016

The wave has calmed down but it's still bad. I know how bad the benzos are and I only take them if I'm feeling desperation. I'm totally petrified of getting hooked on them. Thanks for the advice!

February 23, 2016

my doctors say it's not WD that the crying is the return of my underlying condition.

We have all had this insult to our intelligence.

I made a decision when this happened to keep right away from them.

18 months later i scraped myself off the floor and gathered strength to complain. The powers to be turned on me and said well why did you wait so long to tell us about issues. You've just been reading the internet.

The thing is if i had, what would they have said and done. They would have repeated the Bovine excrement ...'you have an underlying depression' thats what.

Personally i would fight really hard to not go to benzos.

Its ok to choose 'suffering' .imo.

Something i used sometimes and it may have been a total placebo but it did i feel help, was, i think its called, 'Bach flower ' drops.

Fresh will probably know more on this. But you put it under your tongue. I sometimes did that in the morning hell.

February 23, 2016

NZ11, I realize now that no doc is gonna buy into the WD theory. My GP even said " If you had diabetes wouldn't you cure it"? I have done more than my fair share of suffering to avoid using the benzos but it became a matter of emotional safety for me. I was in a really bad place and couldn't calm myself down. I will look into the bach drops, anything for relief

February 23, 2016

My GP even said " If you had diabetes wouldn't you cure it"?

I would ask this GP what are the normal blood sugar ranges and at what point blood sugar levels become abnormal, leading directly to a diagnosis of diabetes.

Then ask if it would be considered medically negligent to adopt a diagnosis of diabetes without taking a blood sugar level.

Then when he has told you that ask, And what is the normal brain serotonin level ?

And what is the normal and abnormal range of brain serotonin?

(The fact is it's impossible to measure the serotonin levels in the brain of a living person.) so he wont be able to answer this.

In that case then why are you prescribing me serotenergic chemicals without any knowledge of my serotonin levels?

This doctor is articulating misinformation, a myth, a delusional belief, a pharmaceutical marketing strategy.

February 23, 2016

nz11 in my opinion you are correct in everything that you say well done!!

If only more people would take this stance but alas doctors think they know best after all they trained and studied for at least 5 years to get where they are. But they cannot specialise in everything and so unfortunately they have to give their informed (and often) bad opinion.

Just wanted to say Hi to Maria and also to add another good couple of reads to the collection

Paul David - At Last a Life http://www.amazon.co.uk/At-Last-Life-Paul-David/dp/0956948103/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456221982&sr=8-1&keywords=paul+david

Paul David - At Last a Life and Beyond http://www.amazon.co.uk/Last-Life-Beyond-Paul-David-ebook/dp/B01494XZCM/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1456221982&sr=8-3&keywords=paul+david

Namaste,

DC.

February 23, 2016

NZ11, I would have confronted him about what he was saying to me if I wasn't feeling so sick. My hope is someday I can walk into his office med free and say he was wrong about me. First I have to stop the crying , Thank you Dc for the book recommendations. I will look into them

October 19, 2016

... I'm 8 months into withdrawal and I am feeling much better. I still don't have my sleep completely back yet but it's getting there. My advice to anyone thinking about getting off these drugs is do a slowww taper. My taper was much too fast. I would also try to have a Dr. on board who understands what these drugs do to people I now have a therapist I'm working with and a holistic Psychiatrist who is helping me with supplements.

Hi, did your sleep ever return to normal? How long did it take?

maria323s withdrawal journey

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

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