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Terry4949: withdrawal help

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DaveB

How are you doing now Terry? You have kind of gone dark. Any improvements?

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Terry4949
On 5/24/2018 at 9:36 PM, DaveB said:

How are you doing now Terry? You have kind of gone dark. Any improvements?

Hi DaveB thanks for your enquiry on my well being I am now 15 months of and no change still fighting depression and the headaches are far worse feeling very emotional , I have been visiting a phyciatrist but they are at a loss on what to do next other than give me a medication but I am so against trying another one they want me to go to a hospital in London to see some top doctors but what they can do for withdrawel I don’t know as most of them don’t believe in it anyway , I would love to report some progress but sadly not , I did start to sleep a bit better like 4 hours a night but now I’m back to waking with that horrible burning and overheating and then the daily struggle begins , the night sweats and cortisol did stop for a while but now has come back I don’t no why I have changed nothing , I still can’t tolerate any supplements I seem to be more sensitive than ever now , I hope you are finding some relief

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Survivor1

Terry4949,  I have followed your thread and wanted to offer some support over the rotten experience you have had on and off these drugs.  I am happy to see sleep had improved; it may not seem like a lot to you, but that fact that there has been some improvement says you are moving in the right direction. 

 

We have to remember the window/waves pattern, there will continue to be setbacks, but please hang on to the positives.  You have shown incredible strength, hang in there.  There are better times ahead for you.

 

Best.

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Petunia
On 2/26/2018 at 1:19 AM, Terry4949 said:

I have been reading a article by dr Fava on people who have been taking antidepressants for a long period of time and become depressed after withdrawel due to the fact that the down regulation of receptors struggle to up regulate which causes depression even for those that were placed on the drugs who never had depression prior to the drug he calls it tardive dysphoria and says many people will struggle with this depression indefinitely and that reinstating any medication will not have any effect and it can be permanent , is this what we all go through with antidepressant withdrawel especially those of us that have been on long term meds I have been on for 27 years so if my brain has been finally worn down as in all receptors because of the various amount of drugs I have been on is this the reason that myself and others struggle with severe depression after other symptoms have disappeared and do you think this is permanent, I maybe reading what he said wrong but if it’s true that recovery from tardive dysphoria cannot happen at least I know what I am possible dealing with , has anyone read his article. or do we know if anyone has ever recovered

 

I was put on antidepressants for anxiety and didn't have depression prior to taking them. They actually caused extreme depression for me soon after starting them, but it evened out after several months. I've had a lot of depression through withdrawal too. But its mostly gone now. I also heard about antidepressants causing permanent tardive dysphoria and was worried that I would now suffer with depression, but in fact the opposite seems to be happening. I'm so happy to be recovering and slowly getting my life back, and able to do things again, I'm more enthusiastic about life than ever before. I was taking antidepressants for over 13 years, so I think if they were going to ruin my receptors, that would be long enough to do it. Dr. Fava has done some great work, but he does have an agenda to promote, so keep that in mind. Its better to focus on more optimistic theories that suggest we are capable of healing and recovery.

 

The Power of Neuroplasicity

 

Especially take note of what Dr. Norman Doidge is saying in the second part of the video.

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Terry4949
On 5/28/2018 at 1:34 AM, Petunia said:

 

I was put on antidepressants for anxiety and didn't have depression prior to taking them. They actually caused extreme depression for me soon after starting them, but it evened out after several months. I've had a lot of depression through withdrawal too. But its mostly gone now. I also heard about antidepressants causing permanent tardive dysphoria and was worried that I would now suffer with depression, but in fact the opposite seems to be happening. I'm so happy to be recovering and slowly getting my life back, and able to do things again, I'm more enthusiastic about life than ever before. I was taking antidepressants for over 13 years, so I think if they were going to ruin my receptors, that would be long enough to do it. Dr. Fava has done some great work, but he does have an agenda to promote, so keep that in mind. Its better to focus on more optimistic theories that suggest we are capable of healing and recovery.

 

The Power of Neuroplasicity

 

Especially take note of what Dr. Norman Doidge is saying in the second part of the video.

Thankyou petunia I appreciate your reply I have been in this state for 5 years one long wave I believe I have permanent damage as much as I do believe that neuroplasicity is possible for most people but some of us have been so harmed I have been on antidepressants for over 30 years and in the last 3 years I have been c/t of 6 different medications and I believe each one did more and more damage I think for those that withdraw slowly and from one drug may and will eventually recover but I think the doctors have damaged me beyond repair , the last 3 years have been hell every day deep dark depression and suicidel thoughts and the apathy and anhendonia are soul destroying something has got to give at some point but I don’t know how much stronger I can be . 

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Terry4949

I have had some blood tests back the last 3 years my blood tests have all revealed that I am , 

high on my mean cell haemoglobin concentration . The symptoms of these are tiredness brain fog poor concentration confusion and memory loss .

next my serum ferritin level is low , the symptoms of this is inflammation 

next my serum calcium concentration is low the symptoms of this is parathesia tingling in fingers toes and mouth also linked with autoimmune disorder 

so my question is has the withdrawel altered my blood serum or caused these my doctor said it’s nothing to worry about but they have shown up on my last 3 years blood test results . Has anyone else found a problem with this it seems it all points to low b12 low folic acid  possibly to much iron . I havnt really taken much notice untill recently when I was given my full blood test results but maybe if I was informed 3 years ago it might have helped if I was treated , is this due to withdrawel 

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Rosetta

That's odd.  I can't see the post you made 12 hours ago.  Maybe post again?  I hope you are well, Terry. - Rosetta

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Altostrata
14 hours ago, Terry4949 said:

I have had some blood tests back the last 3 years my blood tests have all revealed that I am , 

high on my mean cell haemoglobin concentration . The symptoms of these are tiredness brain fog poor concentration confusion and memory loss .

next my serum ferritin level is low , the symptoms of this is inflammation 

next my serum calcium concentration is low the symptoms of this is parathesia tingling in fingers toes and mouth also linked with autoimmune disorder 

so my question is has the withdrawel altered my blood serum or caused these my doctor said it’s nothing to worry about but they have shown up on my last 3 years blood test results . Has anyone else found a problem with this it seems it all points to low b12 low folic acid  possibly to much iron . I havnt really taken much notice untill recently when I was given my full blood test results but maybe if I was informed 3 years ago it might have helped if I was treated , is this due to withdrawel 

 

Terry, it's unlikely withdrawal syndrome is responsible for your blood tests.

 

If you have a B vitamin deficiency, that might cause some neurological symptoms. You can get folate in green vegetables. What's your nutrition like? I would take the B vitamin, ferritin, and calcium results as indicative of a diet that needs improvement. You should use Google to study what each of those results means.

 

I have no idea what the other tests mean. If your doctor thinks you have an autoimmune condition, you need further testing to diagnose it. Symptom overlap with an autoimmune condition does not mean you have an autoimmune condition.

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Terry4949
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

Terry, it's unlikely withdrawal syndrome is responsible for your blood tests.

 

If you have a B vitamin deficiency, that might cause some neurological symptoms. You can get folate in green vegetables. What's your nutrition like? I would take the B vitamin, ferritin, and calcium results as indicative of a diet that needs improvement. You should use Google to study what each of those results means.

 

I have no idea what the other tests mean. If your doctor thinks you have an autoimmune condition, you need further testing to diagnose it. Symptom overlap with an autoimmune condition does not mean you have an autoimmune condition.

Thank you alto for you response my diet is very good even though I don’t have much of a appetite most days , I don’t eat anyting sweat no sugar or drink fizzy drinks or alcohol I am very limited on eating dairy and no caffeine , I eat fruit and vegetables and no junk food so I’m pretty good with my diet , some of the blood test indicate low b12 and folic acid but I can’t tolerate any supplements they are to stimulating for me so I try to get it through what I eat and I do eat a lot of green veg , so I don’t no how to up these vitamins without causing myself more anguish even fish oil ramps up my nervous system but my blood test show I have been either two high or two low for the last 3 years which seem worrying 

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Terry4949
4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

That's odd.  I can't see the post you made 12 hours ago.  Maybe post again?  I hope you are well, Terry. - Rosetta

Hi Rosetta thankyou for asking after me , sadly I am 16 months now of all meds and I am getting much longer and deeper waves things are a struggle but hopefully the wave will lift soon and better things to come , I have seen people say that 18 months out can be hard and then you can turn a corner let’s hope so , I hope you are well and on the road to wellness , if I could get the crushing depression to lift I think I would feel better 

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Altostrata

I found I could ramp up on B12 supplementation by starting with a tiny crumb of sublingual methylcobalamin and gradually working up to 1000mcg per day. Same with methylfolate, if you're not getting enough folate in veggies.

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Terry4949
59 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I found I could ramp up on B12 supplementation by starting with a tiny crumb of sublingual methylcobalamin and gradually working up to 1000mcg per day. Same with methylfolate, if you're not getting enough folate in veggies.

Sorry alto when you say ramp up do you mean you could take these at a low dose and slowly go up , is methylcobalamin b12 and what form of methylfolate , is 1000mcg aday a safe dose not heard of these before 

 

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Altostrata

Correct, I mean slowly increase crumb by crumb. Please consult Dr. Google for information about sublingual methylcobalamin and methylfolate.

 

Also, some people find taking vitamin D3 as drops is more tolerable. You can get this in a bottle or by chewing a soft gel cap filled with the liquid.

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Rosetta

Terry, 

 

I often wonder how this process unfolds so differently for different people, but I do hope that when you turn the corner you see vast improvement.  Yes, the "18 month wave."  Tough going.  I hope you are able to rest tonight.

 

Rosetta

 

 

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Terry4949
3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Terry, 

 

I often wonder how this process unfolds so differently for different people, but I do hope that when you turn the corner you see vast improvement.  Yes, the "18 month wave."  Tough going.  I hope you are able to rest tonight.

 

Rosetta

 

 

Thank you Rosetta I do hope you are right I feel like I have been going through this for ever , I am having them horrible cortisol mornings again waking up all hot and panicky shaking inside but I have changed nothing , room still very dark go to bed at the same time etc but I still wake at 2am and then you no all hell let’s loose , then I feel so bad all day . I’m glad you had a window it must be nice to feel what some sort of normality is other than this daily struggle 

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Altostrata

Hi, Terry. What is your current sleep pattern?

 

Did the cortisol mornings stop for a while? Has the weather gotten warmer where you live?

 

What progress have you made in finding face-to-face counseling?

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Terry4949
10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Hi, Terry. What is your current sleep pattern?

 

Did the cortisol mornings stop for a while? Has the weather gotten warmer where you live?

 

What progress have you made in finding face-to-face counseling?

Hi alto my current sleep pattern is I go to bed at 10 in the evening and read a book for half a hour I then go to sleep I have no problems going to sleep go out like a light in a couple of minutes I sleep so sound and deep that I don’t think a gun shot would wake me i then wake every morning between 1.30 to 2.00 am my room is very dark no light and I have followed this pattern for 16 months 

 

my cortisol mornings didn’t really stop but they did get easier for a few months but now they are back with a vengeance like right back at the start and they seem to last through out the day , the weather is warmer here in the uk but not boiling I keep as cool as possible at night but when I do wake the sleep feels not refreshing and I feel very tired and fatigued but that’s only to be expected with a average of 3 hours a night for the last 24 months 

 

as for the face to face counselling it’s been very difficult I spoke to my doctor who put me on to a phyciatrist who believes that withdrawels don’t last this long and the damage is not from drugs , I mention this site and of others going through similar experiences but he was very dismissive and basically said it’s anxiety you know the score , he recommended me to see a councillor but she turned me down as she said that I was to complexed and she didn’t think she could help also because I refused medication I did not want to help myself , I cannot afford to see anyone private as I am just surviving on what I get now 

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Altostrata

What do you do when you wake at 1-2 a.m.?

 

You'll have to ask that psychiatrist for a referral to a different counselor.

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Terry4949
8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What do you do when you wake at 1-2 a.m.?

 

You'll have to ask that psychiatrist for a referral to a different counselor.

Hi alto when I wake I have to get up because the inner nervousness and tremor are to much even though I want to go back to sleep I just toss and turn so I go down stairs I generally read a book or just sit in a chair have a drink of water and try and do some breathing exercises at this point in the morning I am very tearful as I think it will never end I know it’s the morning cortisol and anxiety 

Regarding the counsellor it is very difficult where I live waiting times are like 6 months if your lucky I spoke to someone to day about another referral and they said they would see what they can do but did say the waiting list is very long 

I am starting to wonder wether I have akathisia as the inner turmoil seems to last all day now and never really leaves me , inner tremor shaking feeling , the feeling of unease not being able to rest or sit with out comfort especially in the legs can akathisia be prominent this far out 

 

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Altostrata

How much sleep per day do you get?

 

Do you think you might be working yourself up with anxiety after you wake up? Have you tried meditating?

 

 

 

 

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Terry4949
10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

How much sleep per day do you get?

 

Do you think you might be working yourself up with anxiety after you wake up? Have you tried meditating?

 

 

 

 

The only sleep I get a day is the night time sleep roughly 2 to 3 hours I cannot nap as much as I feel fatigued I’m not tired I can’t seem to nap on the very occasion that I do I wake feeling ten times worse 

I don’t think I work my self up with the anxiety it’s more the physical side of things that get me , I don’t have panic attacks or rapid heart beat it’s just like rushes of cortisol I find if I stay in bed they get worse so I try and get up straight away ,  I have had a meeting with my phyciatrist to today to express my concerns it was a appointment which was made two months ago he seems to think that I am reading into this withdrawel to much and he says I have dysthymia as I have had continuose depression for many years and that anxiety has now become part of it because everyday I feel the same . I don’t know what it is like in the USA alto but here in the uk the strong belief from the medical profession that withdrawel only last a few weeks is gospel with them unfortunately no much how much evidence you provide they just say it’s all to do with the anxiety and depression . Every time I ask for help counselling etc I am dismissed as I won’t take medication and so labelled non compliant . The last two weeks I have gone back to a very anhendonic state this I had in the first ten months of withdrawels but then lifted but has seem to come back I wonder if this has anything to do with the early morning wakings 

 

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Petunia

Hi Terry,

I'm sorry you are still not well.

 

Its difficult for me to understand your current situation because your signature isn't clear about when you became drug free, or if you are taking anything now.

 

I'm assuming you have been drug free since early 2017, but I might be wrong. Please would you clarify this in your signature.

 

For someone who has been taking these kinds of medications as long as you (and me), and then having stopped them too fast, its not unusual to still be feeling quite unwell from protracted withdrawal syndrome several years later. Globally, most doctors don't recognize long term withdrawal, its not just in the UK, but its definitely real, as this site and many others prove.

 

It has taken me several years to recover from the effects of long term psychiatric drug use, and from stopping them too fast, but it has happened, by staying away from doctors and doing the best I can to take care of myself with a healthy diet, reducing stress and treating myself kindly, mostly by accepting the situation and trusting my brain and body to know how to heal itself. I'm still not completely recovered, but close enough to know I'm out of the woods, and have a nice future ahead, and you will be the same with more time.

 

I know how hard it is to have faith in recovery, when we are feeling so bad and everything around us is saying we need the drugs, that we are sick because of our 'mental illness', and that long term withdrawal doesn't exist. But in most cases its just not true. In 50, maybe 100 years, I think everyone will know the truth, that these drugs, over time, can do much more harm than they help, and recovery from them can take a long time. Hopefully it wont take that long, but apparently money and power have a lot of influence when it comes to the rate of change.

 

Please relax, find some patience, accept what you can't change and focus on being nice to yourself given the current difficult circumstances. Its not always going to be like this, you will get better.

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Altostrata

Have you tried meditating when you wake up at night?

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Terry4949
4 hours ago, Petunia said:

Hi Terry,

I'm sorry you are still not well.

 

Its difficult for me to understand your current situation because your signature isn't clear about when you became drug free, or if you are taking anything now.

 

I'm assuming you have been drug free since early 2017, but I might be wrong. Please would you clarify this in your signature.

 

For someone who has been taking these kinds of medications as long as you (and me), and then having stopped them too fast, its not unusual to still be feeling quite unwell from protracted withdrawal syndrome several years later. Globally, most doctors don't recognize long term withdrawal, its not just in the UK, but its definitely real, as this site and many others prove.

 

It has taken me several years to recover from the effects of long term psychiatric drug use, and from stopping them too fast, but it has happened, by staying away from doctors and doing the best I can to take care of myself with a healthy diet, reducing stress and treating myself kindly, mostly by accepting the situation and trusting my brain and body to know how to heal itself. I'm still not completely recovered, but close enough to know I'm out of the woods, and have a nice future ahead, and you will be the same with more time.

 

I know how hard it is to have faith in recovery, when we are feeling so bad and everything around us is saying we need the drugs, that we are sick because of our 'mental illness', and that long term withdrawal doesn't exist. But in most cases its just not true. In 50, maybe 100 years, I think everyone will know the truth, that these drugs, over time, can do much more harm than they help, and recovery from them can take a long time. Hopefully it wont take that long, but apparently money and power have a lot of influence when it comes to the rate of change.

 

Please relax, find some patience, accept what you can't change and focus on being nice to yourself given the current difficult circumstances. Its not always going to be like this, you will get better.

Hi petunia yes I have been of all medications for 16 months almost now and I do understand the protracted withdrawel I think because I was c/t on and of so many drugs over a 12 month period it has made it harder for me rather than just coming of one drug and also the horrible reaction I had after taking mirtazapine which I was made to stay on .i was never able to reintroduced the med to try and stabilise as I was switched so many times so now I have to live with it the problem is if I don’t go to my doctor or phyciatrist my family don’t think I’m trying they can’t understand all this protracted withdrawel no matter how many times I tell them or explain and so when I go they want to push more drugs on me and say it is not withdrawel and that I have anxiety and depression and I will never get better with out the help which then tricks your mind because in desperation to feel better you think what if they are right but I know it’s the meds that I got me in to this position, even though I have only been of 16 months I have been in withdrawel from hitting tolerance 6 years so my recovery has been very slow if any at all when people around your like my family have seen this it slows there life down so there is a lot of pressure on me to be well I do believe that one day I will be well again but it has been a long road and some symptoms have got slightly better certain ones have got worse . I thankyou though for your words of encouragement and I am glad you are on the road to recovery 

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Terry4949
3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Have you tried meditating when you wake up at night?

I did try once alto but that’s when I was in the real throws of withdrawel I keep thinking of getting a little iPad and downloading some meditating themes from YouTube then listening to them through head phones when I wake up maybe that could be a distraction , but I don’t know if it would help the morning apathy and anhendonia 

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Altostrata

We're back to where we were, Terry. You're going to have to be more creative and active in your self-care. We can't do this for you.

 

You don't need to wait to get an iPad. You don't need an iPad to meditate, you just do it.

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Terry4949
11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

We're back to where we were, Terry. You're going to have to be more creative and active in your self-care. We can't do this for you.

 

You don't need to wait to get an iPad. You don't need an iPad to meditate, you just do it.

I realise that alto and I have tried it many times but I can’t seem to move away from the inner turmoil of physical effects and racing thoughts even though I try to change the channel or just let the thoughts wash over me the relentless sweating and body disregulation are so strong my mind just seems to focus on these symptoms , I walk to a peaceful lake where I live and try to take it all in how lovely and and beautiful it is I tried to live in that moment but it’s more physical I know there is nothing that you can do only but to guide us with experience but some people withdraw from drugs and have no anxiety and just depression some the other way round some people have neither or like me have both , I can walk and to be honest reading on here I am rather lucky I’m not bed bound and many people suffer a lot worse than me , all I can say alto honesty it’s not for the lack of trying I have tried everything that has been put before me on this site I am probably one of the real unlucky ones that is in this for the long haul , but I shall continue for now to keep going I am struggling also a little at the moment as a friend who I made on another group very similar to my story has just taken his own life after 3 years of suffering maybe that has knocked my confidence a bit in my own recovery , 

 

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Altostrata

That's incorrect, Terry. Many people here have terrible symptoms in protracted withdrawal.

 

I feel like we've had this conversation before, maybe dozens of times. You have to find the resources within yourself to get through this.

 

Meditation moves your mind for only a few seconds at a time. That is normal. You have to practice at it for more continuous relief.

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Daisy

Terry,

I have found a book recommended here call "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes to be helpful. You might look into getting it. I got mine from Amazon.com.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Nerves-Claire-Weekes/dp/0451167228/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529855145&sr=8-1&keywords=Hope+and+help+for+your+nerves+Dr+C

 

It might help you too. It is simple reading, it is formatted  as if she is talking to you, and the it teaches you how to desensitize your body from the Fight or Flight symptoms that happen to your body with an adrenaline rush. Basically the premise is to Face the symptoms such as a rapid heart rate, churning stomach etc, accept them, float with them instead of fighting them to the point where they incapacitate you and then Let Time Pass.

🌻

 

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Terry4949
28 minutes ago, Daisy said:

Terry,

I have found a book recommended here call "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes to be helpful. You might look into getting it. I got mine from Amazon.com.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Nerves-Claire-Weekes/dp/0451167228/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529855145&sr=8-1&keywords=Hope+and+help+for+your+nerves+Dr+C

 

It might help you too. It is simple reading, it is formatted  as if she is talking to you, and the it teaches you how to desensitize your body from the Fight or Flight symptoms that happen to your body with an adrenaline rush. Basically the premise is to Face the symptoms such as a rapid heart rate, churning stomach etc, accept them, float with them instead of fighting them to the point where they incapacitate you and then Let Time Pass.

🌻

 

Daisy thankyou for your reply I read that book about 6 years ago and understood and practise what she said I think a lot of what she says is very true but drug induced anxiety and normal anxiety are to different animals I also followed the linden method for a couple of years but still found no relief , I think the anxiety that is caused by the meds for some of us is irreversible and even the very few doctors that understand withdrawel have said for a few it is and that some people will just not get better and we have to except that I have spoken to people 15 years after medication and there anxiety has never left but many other symptoms have . I was in a conversation the other day with a lady who has had anxiety and depression for 11 years she has a window and wave pattern and every 3 to 4 weeks she crashes so bad then gets a few days relief then the pattern continues the thing is she has never taken a antidepressant in her life she said she had tried every thing possible from meditation to acupuncture read every book that she knows of implemented everything of what she has learnt but she has had no success so I think that maybe for some of us we will just have to live with it , maybe this is not withdrawel it’s a permanent state we can’t atttribute everything to withdrawel I don’t think , to be honest there is not a stone I havnt turned in order to help this it’s not through the lack of trying I’m not asking for sympathy I just think. some of the symptoms are permanent. Another group I am a member of many of them who are on this site or have left have been suffering a lot longer than me and I see many have not healed they to have said many symptoms have gone but the anxiety seems to be permanent which is worrying

 

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Martina23

Terry, you will manage it, you seem already better to me. Please keep believing, the body can heal or get better even after longer time, my intrusive thoughts are still not gone, after three years drug free, but we have no other chance, we have to go on and hope that one day we will be as we were.

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Daisy
On 6/25/2018 at 10:22 AM, Martina23 said:

Terry, you will manage it, you seem already better to me. Please keep believing, the body can heal or get better even after longer time, my intrusive thoughts are still not gone, after three years drug free, but we have no other chance, we have to go on and hope that one day we will be as we were.

🎂 Positive, sweet food for thought.

🌻

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Terry4949

It’s strange because I seem to have gone backwards on some of the symptoms that perhaps had got slightly better I am now waking in full blown cortisol spikes sweating inner tremor legs shaking feel very weak and I have to get up or I feel very sick , my room is blacked out so there is no change in that my body feels like it is awash with cortisol all day and makes me very sick , I didn’t realise untill the last few weeks that this had eased a bit over time but is back with full force which leaves me very fatigued and then the depression really sinks in , but I have been getting 4 hours sleep now for the last 7 to 8 days which is good for me maybe the change in sleep pattern has something to do with it 

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jonnypeters1234567

How are you Terry?

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Terry4949

Is it possible to hit such a bad time 18 months out my physical symptoms have gone through the roof the worst ever I’m now 18 months of all meds but I have been feeling like this for 5 years , the skin on me burns I feel intoxicated but I don’t drink I have severe brain fog and cloudy vision over the last 3 months I have become so weak and a fatigue has hit me that I never felt before I feel like I have drunk acid , my deep dark depression has eased and is not so intense but I feel like I am wired to a electric current, I take no medications and can’t take any supplements but this is the strongest I have ever felt these symptoms and there is no break it’s constant 24 hours a day I need some relief before I go mad I truly can’t function at the moment 

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Altostrata

Sorry to hear you're still doing poorly.

 

Being we're only an Internet forum site, we can't do much to help you. You'll have to put more effort into investigating other options, such as:

 

On 1/14/2018 at 3:56 PM, Altostrata said:

....

Terry, my guess is you didn't give lamotrigine enough of a chance, you and your doctors were expecting miraculous relief instead of incremental relief, and you escalated the dosage and abandoned lamotrigine too soon.

 

Your posts here usually simultaneously express a strong demand for a drug solution and a strong aversion to a drug solution. We've advised you to try drugs carefully at low doses and avoid going on and off drugs repeatedly, yet you've made numerous precipitous changes for a year. Once you decide on a course of action, you need to find the determination to follow it through, no one else can do that for you.

 

I strongly recommend you contact Dr. Healy and figure out how to spend a little time in Wales, if that is required for him to consult on your treatment.

 

In terms of drug treatment, we can't do much for you here, it's up to the people who can prescribe drugs -- in partnership with you, that is. You need to step up on this and not passively let doctors tell you to go on and off drugs.

 

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