Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 HI Juwel, I spend time on Patient. info reining in people who are clearly suffering the harms of ADs and other psych drugs, caught up in the whirlwind of stopping, starting, switching etc, and now in quite a bind. Try to get them over here to SA. Yesterday I brought up the fact that these drugs CHANGE OUR BRAINS and some guy challenged me, is that a fact? And he said something like "what are those of us starting these drugs supposed to do with that?" He was upset that my message was not so positive! People on there are always saying "please no negativity, we need positive stories about this drug or that.." They don't want to know! I fear that when people are looking for solutions to their mental suffering, they are allured by the idea that this pill is going to fix everything and they don't want anyone providing information that would put a road block in front of them taking it! People don't want to think about the future possibilities, it seems; they just want to graspt at the prospect that these drugs can help them now! I swear, I've read so many stories of people starting citalopram and having horrible start up side effects for months, and other users come on encouraging them to push through, it will take several months but it is so worth it! I think by the time their bodies get used to the drug and the bad effects settle down, they are so happy to feel not sick that they credit the drug for making them "feel better!" Anyone would feel better for having the horrible side effects stop! Such a disconnect! As Peter Breggin calls it, spellbinding. I wanted to add that I know there was a woman who came on SA a couple of months ago reporting that her husband was in this hell and was yelling all day long, couldn't NOT yell. Your story reminded me of that one but I can't find the intro! I don't know the answer to that one, but thought it interesting that this is some kind of withdrawal symptom. I'm assuming you can't help yourself, that it happens in public but you can't control it? You are obviously a very bright woman who is incredibly strong in my book, though I know that doesn't help :-( Thinking of you, SG Yes SquirrellyGirl, Can't NOT yell and it happens in public and gets worse when I suddenly remember all the negative things (can't conjure up positives, tryas I may) or have to engage with ordinary people. Given that am alone,am forced to go out just to at very least get food. Read that people are sometimes 'housebaound' for months or years. They must have someone bringing them provisions? Haven't got that luxury, The yelling thing started a month ago after abrupt stop of benzos and gabapentin. Have read it happens with people in the throes of dementia. Not reassured Sorry negative got upper hand today. J RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi Jewel, My heart goes out to you. It is really sad that your family has turned their back on you in your hour of need. I don't understand why people do that to one another. Everyone needs some kind of support from a fellow human being. Whether it is a family member, friend, community, support is needed to propell us forward. Understanding and sympathetic ear does not go astray. Can you get support from a psychologist /health care worker etc? I was reading your introduction and I felt really sad, that others have abandoned you. It really puts things into perspective. I truly that you can find someone to help you through the darkest times. There must be a kind spirit out there that will help you through this. Don't give up and keep going. Time is a healer. Hold on and don't let go. Best wishes, Hopefull Thank you Hopefull Attempts to find 'healthcare' support all backfired so far. As for family attitude ..... words fail me Trying to hold on J RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hey Jewel, I have been reading your thread of posts and I can emphathize. When you mentioned head "bobbing" I can totally relate. I quit the pills cold turkey last year after 15 yrs. I originally went 6 days without sleep while constantly vomiting. My insomnia was so bad, there were times last year when I felt like a bobblehead figurine, one of those dolls with a spring for a neck that causes it's head to bob up and down and side to side. On my walks, I would sometimes pinch the skin on my arm to try to stay awake. I kept waiting for the time when I would just collapse and do a faceplant on the pavement I was so tired. it has gotten better, but now I have huge sagging bags under my eyes. I am also a poet and prolonged sleep deprivation is not exactly conducive to creative output. Sometimes I sway back and forth when I walk and often I bump into walls. i feel like a zombie. For a while, everytime I left my apt, my fly or zipper would be undone. It's embarrassing and humiliating to be so ravaged by sleeplessness. i send out emails of letters and poetry to family and relatives and very rarely get any replies. I sometimes wonder if my internet service is connected to anything or if there is just wire feeding into a hole in the wall!!! I tried taking an anti-depressant and ambien for sleep last august but they just made me dizzy and i had a horrible time with memory loss. i was a wreck. i have tried sleeping on the couch, on couch cushions on the floor, on a bed in my garage, and even on couch cushions i bring to a small wooded park across the street. a problem i have, that i have seen others on this forum having, is that i dream before i fall asleep. when i close my eyes i see cartoon images before i am even close to sleeping. It's maddening and there is no way to sleep in it. i found going for long walks of 4 to 6 miles at night helps me sleep better. I hope things get better for you. Thought i would leave you with a short poem of mine. On Insomnia It's the time of the season For the dissolution of reason Nice poem PoetJester Wish I'd met you all a long time ago! Memory loss/executive function loss is worst for me, especially as no-one believes me and say I can remember when and what I want. How do I rise above that - (not managing to, just get so furious and that pushes people away even more) J RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted January 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi Juwel, One thing that you mention gets me thinking. You talk about getting furious and pushing people away. And that of course increases isolation, which is harming you further. I'm going to put a link here for a post I created in the Symptoms and Self-Care sub-forum and I think it might be very helpful for you. Let me know what you think :-) http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10992-eckhart-tolle-the-pain-body-and-mental-suffering-during-withdrawal/ SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hi Jewel, I'm so sorry that you're going through such a tough time both physically & emotionally. You do have lots of support here to help you through this. Have you given any more thought to reinstating, or do you still feel this is not an option for you ? After 27 years on drugs I wouldn't advise riding things out. You don't need the doctors to agree to your tapering plans because they never will. You just need them to prescribe drugs which they are always willing to do. You can make your own liquid for tapering and reinstating. It's very easy actually. I would suggest also, that some sort of reinstatement would be a good idea, to help ease your symptoms a little, and to remain functional throughout. Ali HI Ali G Right now would reinstate/go back on something, anything if there was going to be proper close supervision. I would chance it. Expect in a few hours though (blowng hot and cold!) my head will be screaming at me NO! NO! NO! Can't do right for doing wrong But something's got to change - this can't go on like this Very bestwishes to you J RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 SquirrellyGirl JustPM'd to see how it works Thinking of you too J RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 A QUESTION FOR ALL TAKERS!! Have tried to track down info on melatonin. Only managed to confuse myself - easily done! It was one thing I was considering a while back. It has to be prescirbed in the UK Firstly, I've taken enough psychoactive stuff in my time to down an elephant. Secondly, at 31 days post diazepam and 70+ days post quetiapine, these two classes of drugs have really affected executive functioning/memory (plus allthe physical stuff) such that I'm too terrified to reinstate either again (Previous attempts pointed to kindling effect). Tried the valerian herbal types of things recently and previously used Benadryl (none of these suit these days). Thirdly, I need to buy myself some time to get a chance to tackle some practical issues, gain some confidence and belief, and then do a proper taper with your help. Maybe I'm clutching at straws. And, after all SA is about coming off. I 'sleep' fitfully for about 4 -5 hours (this is a recent improvement) fragmented- 1 hour, 2and a half hours, half an hour, 20 minutes and so on. Havent had a full nights sleep for over a year, and then it was often benzo-induced. I see a gp tomorrow (not even sure if a uk gp can prescribe the stuff) at midday.I need a concrete plan of action. What are YOUR experiences with melatonin? At what dosage. Would want lowest possible dose with a view to tapering Just need a fighting chance, a day at a time. Thanks in advance Juwel RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted January 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2016 Here are some discussions about melatonin Juwel. The usual recommended dose is 3mg , but some find 1.5mg works fine. For some it doesn't help at all. You can find it on amazon/ebay and have it delivered. Melatonin for sleep: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/189-melatonin-for-sleep/ Does melatonin raise cortisol? : http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1509-does-melatonin-raise-cortisol/ Tips to help sleep: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/ If you are to consider trying a tiny amount of a prescribed medication , what would be your preferred option? I see citalopram is the last ad you've noted , and that you had unpleasant side effects. Our suggestion would be to start with 1mg and work up slowly as needed , in the hope of avoiding an adverse reaction. "Right now would reinstate/go back on something, anything if there was going to be proper close supervision. I would chance it." Second to an inpatient facility , the support/supervision you get here is exceptional. Where else can you get round the clock responses to your queries? I was pleased to hear the copralalia started only a month ago. I believe this increases the likelihood that it will resolve , and will not be a permanent issue. . . 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted January 13, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2016 Juwel, The best way to address melatonin is by doing so organically, i.e. increasing and regulating the melatonin in your own body. Most critically, improving your circadian rhythms is essential to the proper production of melatonin. There are several things that can help you with this: Limiting your use of cellphone and computer within 2 hours of bedtime or if you do make sure you install a program such as f.lux software which adjusts the spectrum light emitted by your device to coincide with natural light of that time for your location (cool program) Sleep in a cool room Wear an eye mask and/or use blackout shades to make sure you are getting complete darkness Try to get to sleep by 10PM most nights because melatonin production is maximized between 10PM and 2AM If you supplement with Vitamin D do so in the AM not the PM The following foods are known to boost melatoninPineapples Bananas Oranges Oats Sweet corn Rice Tomatoes Barley As Fresh said, some people do well with supplemental melatonin and others don't. If you can increase it systemically it's a longer term solution and preferable. Just some thoughts. Good luck with it. Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
PoetJester Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Hey Jewel,How goes it today? From my experience melatonin is very mild at best. I have taken 10 mg at a time and it can induce a little sleepiness, I take it sometimes along with a sleepy tea, and while my eyes get a little tired I don't sleep all that better on it. However they do have a pretty nice calming quality when taken together and maybe the they can help you sleep. It's hard to believe that a natural supplement like that requires a prescription. Since you liked my other poem I am sending you a few more. This is a short song parody to the tune "It's My Life" by your own The Animals Take Care, PoetJester It's My LifeIt's a tough worldTo get a break inWhen your rightsHave been taken awayAnd the psychiatrist's needTo experiment on youCan't be slaken. Insomniac Joe says I hazard my mazard (face) Doesn't look right to women. What the Madman said (part 1) I do not pretend to do any good works In the denominations of making sense or spreading kindness But I'll tell you what I can do I can say 'toodles' to you, pack my books and eat my shoe. (part 2) I just talk to myself Because I have no one Who believes and cleaves to me. Stories of My Life (I) Homeless man Is administered Electric Shock Treatment Says, "Thanks to the State I have a new-found appreciation for mental impairment." (II) Society labels man deranged Man replies, "So what, if from the human race I am estranged." Advice Despite the rumour of impending doomer Remember God Loves You So try to hold on to a sense of humor Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96. developed severe akithisia and brain damage. Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day. Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time. My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds. On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014 In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004. Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify. Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014 Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt. Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away. However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue. Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 Thanks for all your thoughts on melatonin. GP appointment went badly. I couldn't get wordes out for allthe repetitive yelling.Mentioned melatonin and gp dais NO. Wrote a script for nitrazepam of all things - insisted that a weeks supply wouldn't hurt(havent' filled script) In truth it's the memory loss and lack of awareness of time, not recognising familiar objectsin the house,that's the most destuctive but gp refuses to see it as a neuro thing. Watched a single tv show yesterday evening multiple times to try to remember the story line, realised kept blanking out every few minutes. Today don't recall what it was about Otherwise, no face to face human contact since before Christmas despite efforts and upsurge in all physical symptoms. How do I stop the decline????? Juwel RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 19, 2016 Author Share Posted January 19, 2016 RE SUPPLEMENTS I was taking 1 omega 3 per day, I magnesium per day (250mg) over the last month or so then yesterday added another half intending to increase and also restarted choline inisitol (1 tablet) in an attempt to settle my body and mind. I ditched the omega 3 a couple of days ago (it was a juicy fruit version meant for kids) Simply, I think supplements are not helping and possibly destabilising me more.. Therefore am I right in thinking that I can just stop the magnesium and choline with no added ill effects? Any comments welcome Thank you RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted January 20, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 20, 2016 Hiya Juwel , If you don't get an answer here about stopping the magnesium and choline , go to the Magnesium thread in Symptoms and Self Care and post the question there. You're quite correct that supplements can be more destabilizing than helpful for some. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Mort81 Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Jewel I just read your post and im sorry your going through this. Your not alone at all even though it feels that way. everyone on this site and hundred of other sites are proof this condition exists. Over time it will come out. Drug companies won't be able to bury this forever. I was humiliated by doctors and stigmatized by peers during this whole process. Its bad enough to be going through anything this bad but its such an added kick to the groin when your doctors are dumb and brainwashed and don't believe you . I happened to find a psychologist in my area who not only believed me but wrote my other doctor a letter that she better take this seriously. I struggled with this all the time and get very angry at the system. I am working every day to try and let it go because it won't help me heal. You have found the right place, check the link on the site to see if they're are any recommended doctors in your area. If not I will try and look for you as I found mine on social media. Unless you know the Doctor understands withdrawal in the first place your likely walking into a garbage fire. Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted January 21, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 21, 2016 Hey Juwel, I'm sorry your appointment didn't go well, no one deserves to be disrespected like that, I agree with Mort that looking for another doctor would be a good idea. I'm not suggesting that you take melatonin, but it may be possible for you to get some to try if you wanted to. Here in Australia, melatonin is only allowed to be sold by prescription, but its not illegal to bring in small amounts from the US. I ordered some to try from iHerb.com, they will only ship it to you if they are allowed to. So you could try there if you wanted to. The melatonin didn't help me, but at least I was able to find out, its not expensive. If you feel that the supplements you are taking are making you worse, its ok to just stop them. I suggest you do it one at a time and keep good symptom notes, that way you will know how each supplement is effecting you. Withdrawal symptoms seem to come and go in waves, so it can make it very difficult to know how various supplements might be effecting us. I've been experimenting with them for a long time and quite often I would get a wave of increased symptoms soon after I had tried a new supplement, making me think it was an adverse effect, when in reality it was just a 'normal' wave and would have happened anyway. Its taken me a long time, but I've finally managed to find a combination of supplements which seem to be helping with my remaining symptoms, without making me feel worse. For reasons I can't remember, inositol without choline is the recommended kind, taking a good quality fish oil is more likely to be helpful and the kind of magnesium you are taking is important, some are better absorbed than others. Have a look through the links for more information. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Juwel Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 Thanks for all your input and signposting. Not following/comprehending instructions, tried to navigte the site and look for hope Petunia, SquirrellyGirl Thanks. Have come to the conclusion that chasing all manner of supplements is a measure of my despair. Am reacting badly to supplements and any food and drink and chasing round wildly Have just lost a whole written reply and have no idea what I wrote Know I made reference to stumbling acros the thread mentioning members who didn't make it. I want to believe I'll survive this. Hard not to compare and read between the lines of what those members wrote but gut feeling.. want to bleieve,just get thru next few seconds. Can't organise thoughts and actions but Yes, wrote about upsurge in burning waves over body, muscles wasted, bizarre sensations - sorry just dont know how to describe the indescribable - 'fizzing spit', burning tongue, unstoppable ringing and noise in head THIS HAS ALL INCREASED SINCE I LAST POSTED Massive loss of coodrination between what I think I see and what my body 'does' in response. Can't avoid outside stressors: court and yet another psych report which will bring me into contact abain with mainstream MH. In permanent panic/stress which exacerbates it all. Hve no way of dealing with this Want you all To know I tried and dread what's to come. Mistake was never knowing about tapering Cant write any moe very afraid RECENTLY: Stopped quetiapine 50 m/r CT 28th October 2015 (Tried one again end of December2015 - couldnt tolerate effect); Tried to taper 2mg Diazepam on and off during October/November 2015: unsuccessful so stopped CT December 2015; JANUARY 2015 was 50 days drug-free from effexor (tapered over 6 months - between July 2013 and January 2014) and depakote (CT in December2014/January 2015- I think); Continued thru 2014 to use over the counter antihistamines for sleep,occasional Temazepam and Zopiclone; Summer 2014 Citalopram for 6 weeks (caused burning hands and blunted emotions); stopped pretty abruptly, on advice of the then psychiatrist (still had no idea about tapering and WD) PREVIOUSLY: on about 50 antidepressants, antispychotics and mood stabilisers, sedatives and sleepers from 1989. ALL OF THIS LONG BEFORE WD AND TAPERING WERE MUCH OF A KNOWN ENTITY Diagnoses/labels: anorexia +depression; morphed into bipolar; morphed into personailty disorder(s) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted January 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 23, 2016 Oh sweet Juwel, I am so sad that you are so afraid. You are an amazing woman, do you know that? One minute at a time. I feel such anger at what has been done to you with these drugs, how very dangerous they are and how they have destroyed so many lives. Please don't let yours be the next one! Don't let the drugs win! I know it has been rough reading about those lost. It is such a tragedy, such a huge tragedy. I think that Acceptance of what is is the key to easing the fear and suffering. I know that acceptance is hard, but I came across this post last night as I was surfing around the site, and yes, it does bring up my favorite teacher Eckhart Tolle, but what she writes about the effect of Acceptance on her symptoms is what most inspired me. Now the trick is, how to help people who have such off the wall horrid symptoms such as yours achieve this? Here it is: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3533-acceptance/?hl=%2Beckhart+%2Btolle#entry40178 SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted February 25, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 25, 2016 Juwel, how are you doing - we haven't heard from you in some time! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Mort81 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Hang on Jewel your holding a lottery ticket and you will cash it!! stay strong . everyday brings you closer to feeling better ! Dont worry about supplements or tapers . people who taper slowly can and do suffer just as much .. You can do it ! try to stay away from all stressors . these crappy physical sensations are just temporay ! Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant 30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently. using zantac as needed. Benzo is currently 0.10mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted April 15, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 15, 2016 Hi J, I read thru your thread and am very sorry for all you are going thru. I can definitely relate to not having contact with others and no family, even though I am married but there is very little communication at all. Just wanted to say hello and let you know I feel bad for you. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
westcoast Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Juwel, you must know all the thoughts I have been thinking. I've emailed you. I read about NHS on Twitter and various blogs and sometimes it's as awful as what you got. Just saw a story where a teenager dad was an NHS physician, and they treated him like scum, too. (It was akathisia, so wrongly handled it beggars belief.) Your treatment was beyond inadequate. It was worse than incompetent. But you are very smart and funny, so just keep breathing, and eating and drinking. You're an asset to the planet. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Marsha Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Jewel, dear one. I know you are here with us. I am coming off 22 years of drugs and have a long way to go. Like westcoast I have also experienced DAAWS. I think about you every day Juwel. If you want to and are able, let us know how you are doing. I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. 47 different drugs. Over 57 thousand pills. Tapered off final cocktail February 1st, 2013- September 9th, 2019. For Hashimotos I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. BP meds. For supplements I take B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate. Link to comment
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