Ouarezki: 6 weeks off SSRI after 7 years

[Ouarezki]

Ok so let me just say that back in 2009 I had no knowledge of anxiety OR depression (i was so naif and clueless) and I believed in the "miracle pill", so much so it worked for me almost instantaniously!

 

I only every went back to the doctor for prescriptions and never spoke to him about anything.

 

It all started with a panic attack, then anxiety, then intrusive thoughts, then depression, then depersonalization.

 

I gained more than 20 kilos on these things and i became reckeless and zombie like most of the time. To top it off i developped a sweet tooth and would eat chocolate non stop or anything sugary.

 

Anyhow whenever i tried to stop the meds i would get flu like symptoms, tremors, anxiet then depersonalization and then i'd feel depressed...and that's how my 4 failed attempts went like

 

So in 2013 i switched to Anfralin, the smallest dose being 75mg which then turned into 150mg (i was in horror but desperate by now.

 

Long story cut short I'd been planning to get married and so I was stable at 10mg of Anafralin even thought it was an extrmely stressful event.

 

In late September I moved country and that's where everything came back.

 

I was no longer prescribed Anafralin but deroxat now and I took this for 2 months until i went cold turkey. (under doctors orders who assumed i'd be fine after the 1st trimester.

 

It was ok at first, nothing i coudln't handle

 

Now I'm having severe panic attacks, non stop. Akasthia at times, tremors and crying spells. Also I'm feeling completely disconnected from myself, like a sort of dissociation ( never had this before) and my 

thoughts are slow and its hard for me to process information. I don't know why this is happening now, I thought i was done with the withdrawal

 

I hope its just pregnanacy hormones because i really can't take this anymore.

 

[DaddyCee]

Hi.

 

Sounds like you are in WD hell.  It is never a good idea to CT off of these meds, so it may pay to reinstate a small dose if possible.  I'm sure someone with a lot better knowledge will be a long shortly.

 

You have come to the right place and you will get loads of help here.

 

Namaste, DC.

[Ouarezki]

Hi.

 

Sounds like you are in WD hell.  It is never a good idea to CT off of these meds, so it may pay to reinstate a small dose if possible.  I'm sure someone with a lot better knowledge will be a long shortly.

 

You have come to the right place and you will get loads of help here.

 

Namaste, DC.

None one the doctors beleive that's its withdrawal . 

My family says it's the pregnancy hormones

My therapist says i need to go back on them because i have post natal depression

My psychiatrist says i can get through this

 

I'm just getting worse and I'm terrified, its the fact that i can't accept the good moments that really scares me, i'm terrified of everything

[KarenB]

Hello Ouarezki,

 

I'm sorry things have got so difficult for you.  Please remember that a baby in a womb will always feel the security and comfort of simply being in there.  You can take care of these other things in your life while your baby is safe and sound inside. 

 

The things you are feeling are definitely more than pregnancy hormones.  They are w/d symptoms as a result of the c/t. 

 

I'm going to check in with the other mods as to the best plan for you, but just wanted to welcome you in the meantime.  We'll find a way through this. 

 

Hugs,

Karen

[Petunia]

Welcome Ouarezki,

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Unfortunately it sounds like you are experiencing withdrawal from the deroxat (Paroxetine) which you stopped taking last month. Withdrawal symptoms can sometimes be delayed by several weeks, up to several months, and what you describe sound like typical withdrawal symptoms.

 

When this happens, we usually recommend reinstatement of a small amount of the drug, stabilization and then a much slower taper. But in your situation, you need to take into consideration the health of your baby.

 

Here is what Dr Healy has to say about it:

 

The single most important group who need to be aware of all these issues are women of child-bearing years. A very large number of pregnancies happen in an unplanned fashion and are several weeks advanced before the woman is aware of the situation. SSRIs, and paroxetine in particular, are now clearly linked to a number of problems in pregnancy, among which are an increased frequency of birth defects, an increased rate of miscarriage, premature birth, low birth weight, a neonatal withdrawal syndrome and pulmonary hypertension in the newborn infant.

One of the biggest problems of SSRI dependence involves women who are on treatment and unable to stop who wish to become pregnant. Getting off an SSRI at present seems more difficult for women than men, even with the incentive of wishing to become pregnant.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1424-healy-2009-halting-ssris-withdrawal-guidelines/?p=13261

 

And more from Dr. Healy here on antidepressants and birth defects:  http://davidhealy.org/theres-something-about-mary/

 

Here is our discussion thread about pregnancy and antidepressants: Zoloft and other antidepressants during Pregnancy

 

Ultimately you have to balance the risks of harm to your baby, with your own ability to tolerate the effects of your current withdrawal symptoms. There is a possibility that as your pregnancy progresses, the withdrawal symptoms will decrease and become more manageable.

 

Please read through the links I've posted, they will help you decide what to do.

 

If you decide to try a small reinstatement, you may want to try 1mg, it might be enough to relieve your symptoms and the small dose would be a much smaller risk for your baby. Here is our topic about reinstatement:  About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

If you decide to continue as you are, you will find a lot of non-drug ideas to help you manage your withdrawal symptoms in our  Symptoms and self-care  section.

 

Please let us know what you decide, if you have more questions you can ask them here in your thread. Try not to worry, you will get through this and we are here to support you.

 

Petunia.

[Ouarezki]

Hello everyone, I'm glad i have an answer thank you guys so much

 

Currently I'm developping depression , I'm not eating and it's mostly this feeling of "dissociation" that I really can't handle.

I've had depersonalization before but this feels completely different.

 

I feel that my state is degrading and that terrifies me. The issue is that I've moved country and now I have noone but my husband, my initial therapist is not in this country.

 

At work it's really horrible because they havent given me ANY work since I started, (its a new company and were just looking for suppliers). So I work a 10 hour shift (8h to 18h) without actually doing anything. So there are definatly a lot of factors contributing to my depression

 

I've been seeing a new therapist lately and it had been going good until yesterday he told me that I'd HAVE to go back on the meds:

 

HE PRESCRIBED ZOLOFT!!!!! and two other medications for my acute anxiety

So all together ROSAL (fluxotine, generic form of zoloft) : 20mg (1 month only)

Olanza: 5mg (10 days)

Tranxene 10mg (10 days)

 

I've never taken this much (35mg) in my life and I don't see how taking it during pregnancy is a good idea

 

I find that waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy to much, and he claims that I'll only be taking it for 1 month. Which i'm obviously scepticale about because then i'm pretty sure that when I take them symptoms will come back!

 

 

Honestly in a dilemma. With my previous withdrawal symptoms I've never experienced this actually, it's usually flu-like symptoms and anxiety...etc. This is what makes me think that most of it is hormonal.....but I'm scared WHAT IF I GET WORSE!!!

 

I feel like I'm going mad with this dissociation. what i i do go mad?

[Ouarezki]

Ok So i've just noticed that Olanza is for schizophrenia.....WHAT WAS HE THINKING???

[AliG]

Ouarezki.  Ooh My !  Please don't take any drugs, until we get this sorted  !   I'm going to go out on a limb and say your doctor seems uninformed, for want of a better word. I'm going to go back & read more, but I just wanted to say , " WAIT" !!  Don't do anything , yet. This is two lives, here. There will be other advice here, on how to handle this. Just be patient , and you will get a better perspective on this very soon.

Ali

[AliG]

Ouarezki.

 

Precautions While Using Tranxene

It is very important that your doctor check the progress of you or your child at regular visits to see if the medicine is working properly. Blood tests may be needed to check for any unwanted effects.

Using this medicine while you are pregnant can harm your unborn baby. Use an effective form of birth control to keep from getting pregnant. If you think you have become pregnant while using the medicine, tell your doctor right away. Your doctor may want you to join a pregnancy registry for patients taking a seizure medicine.

 

I do not think your doctor is informed   !!   What a surprise.

Ali

[Ouarezki]

oK Ali, I'll wait this out and see how it goes, hopefully I'll get an answer soon

[AliG]

What date did you C/T ? . Would you be able to update , your dates? Maybe from September?  A few more details would be helpful in trying to assess how to handle this . How long have you been off all drugs ?  How  far along in your pregnancy , are you?  What did your September " breakdown " entail?  Deroxat. What dose? C/T over what period of time ?   This just helps to get a better picture, of your situation. Sorry about all the questions. Just trying to get a "handle" on this.  Personally, if it were me , I wouldn't touch another drug during this time.

Ali

[Ouarezki]

Ok so here goes:

 

I had been stable at a very low (homeopathic dose) of 10mg Anafralin from July to September (i was progressivaly tapering)

 

When I moved country I had a breakdown, I tried to get through it but was eventually put on Deroxat 20mg from October to November

 

By which time I found out I was pregnant for 6 weeks (since October 29 roughly)

 

I C/T exactly on the 1st of December 2015

 

I did not have any major w/d symptoms, just anxiety and some tremors but nothing i couldn't handle

 

Since week 9 of my pregnancy things have been going downwards: my appetite has dramatically dropped, my anxiety has been getting higher and higher, i'm loosing interest in everything  and worst of all i feel completely disconnected.

 

Now its week 13 and things are at WORST: i've had two MAJOR anxiety/ panic akasthia episodes: feeling of extreme doom, of running, of going mad and just plain wanting to die because of the mental pain.

 

Now i panic all day everyday over the simplest of things. And even when i get moments of relief I can't let go and I feel uneasy because i apprehend those dreadful moments.

 

I feel like i'm not conscious in a way you know? 

 

I'm afraid that things will get worse

[Petunia]

This sounds like withdrawal symptoms from stopping deroxat. Perhaps reinstating 1mg - 2mg may reduce your symptoms and would be much less of a risk to your baby than the 3 drugs your doctor has suggested.

 

If you decide to try a small reinstatement, you may want to try 1mg, it might be enough to relieve your symptoms and the small dose would be a much smaller risk for your baby. Here is our topic about reinstatement:  About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms

 

If you decide to continue as you are, you will find a lot of non-drug ideas to help you manage your withdrawal symptoms in our  Symptoms and self-care  section.

 

 

I really don't know what else to suggest apart from what I've already written. Perhaps finding another doctor would be a good idea.

 

Did you read through the reinstatement topic? What were your thoughts about that?

 

Did you find anything in our self care sections which was helpful?

[KarenB]

Hi Ouarezki,

 

Sounds like the new doc confused you even more.  What we've seen here at s/a is that adding drug onto drug only causes further complications and sensitisation (and therefore w/ds when you eventually stop them.

 

Keep things simple:  As Petunia said above a small reinstatement may be a more palatable option for finding relief.

 

Those w/d symptoms are new to you this time round, but many here have experienced them.  Each w/d is worse than the last, and can be different in nature because it's all cumulative. 

 

Food:  Can you make small amounts of nutritious foods?  Perhaps smoothies with almonds, milk, banana, berries, flax-seed oil, even some greens blended up in there?  Something you can sip at every so often so whenever you do eat, it really counts.  You can soak chia seeds over night and add them too.

 

Let us know what you decide about reinstatement.  You're not alone in this - we are all here to listen.

Hugs

Karen

[Ouarezki]

*post moved

 

Hi Sarah, I'm in a right state, feeling very depressed and highly anxious. I've lost nearly 10 kilos already i just can't eat anymore

 

I'm feeling extemely disconnected at the moment, dissociated and hellish

 

I can't see any good images in my head any more, the worst image is of when the baby is born and I'm still like this, it's killing me.

 

I just can' picture a happy ending to this, i'm now sure i'll be like this forever and I just can't get through anymore

 

I'm starting back on Fluoxtening after c/t from deroxat

Edited January 14, 2016 by Petunia
Post moved from another member's intro thread because it was off topic and better suited to member's own thread.

[Ouarezki]

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR ADVICE, you're all that i've got right now

 

Guys I can't handle this feeling of disconnection anymore.

 

You see i'm originally from a family of 9 and since i got married i moved country. Now i'm all alone: I work a 10 hour shift but nobody has given me any work yet! My supervisor is always on travel and the company has just started out. I do nothing all day. This i beleive is greatly contributing to my feeling of disconnection.

 

I hardly ever talk to my collegues because they've actually got work to do!

 

I've lost nearly 10 kilos and things are getting worse, I'm gonna go back on fluoxtenine

 

I'm dreading every aspect of this but i can't handle this anymore

 

The anxiety is SO high I'm even tempted to take the Tranxene. I can't beleive i'm this bad: its really a shattering moment for me to have to go back on meds as I hate them so much and i thought i was done.

 

I'm afraid that the fluoxetiine itself won't work and alleviate this anxiety.

 

Please don't judge as i hate myself already 

 

I have to do what's right for the baby and my health and I beleive that this is the only solution

 

I'm still open for any advice......

[Fresh]

Hi Ouarezki , Deroxat (also known as paroxetine and paxil) is the last ssri/drug you discontinued.

 

It would make the most sense to reinstate with that.

 

Remember , because you've had a break , and have a sensitized nervous system , you should start with a very small tester dose - 1 or 2 mg. Stay on this dose for 4 days minimum before increasing. You may be able to stabilize on a far smaller dose than you were on in December. See the reinstatement thread here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

If you have any there , we can advise how to get a small dose from your tablets. See the first link in Tapering - How to make Liquid From Tablets or Capsules.

 

I think your decision to reinstate is very wise. Pregnancy is a time to treat your body well , not go through the trauma of ct withdrawal. You're a sensible lady. You'll have as much support from here as you need.

 

Why are going to go back on fluoxetine?

 

Fresh

 

If you click FOLLOW at the top right , you'll receive an email each time someone posts.

 

.

[Ouarezki]

Hi Fresh, 

 

I've never taken fluoxetine actually but this is the safest drug for pregnancy and less likely to cause birth defects.

 

How do you guys get hold of 1mg tablets?? I live in Tunisia and theres no "syringe / liquid" version of anything.

 

I was thinking of just taking 10mg but I'm really scared that I can't reinstate at 10 and i'll feel more depressed

[Fresh]

This link explains it http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

 

Basically , if you dissolve a 10 mg tablet in say 20mls of water , you draw 2mls of solution into an oral syringe to get 1mg of tablet.

See also http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-using-an-oral-syringe-and-other-tapering-techniques/?hl=fluoxetine

 

Try reading those and come back with questions. You may get uncomfortable , agitated symptoms if 10mg is too much.

 

.

[Ouarezki]

Oh, very interesting, thanks fresh

 

I tried talking to my new therapist about not taking so much meds and he just said "go find another doctor" WHAT AN ***

 

So i'm gonna pretend i'm taking them all, though i'm not

 

I think you are right about paroxetinine (Deroxat) as i'm already familiar with this drug, it'd be best to try this one. Would you happen to know which one causes less withdrawal symptoms Fluoxetine or Paroxetinine??

[GoodSarah]

Oh mama I can hear the pain in your words. I don't know what kind of resources you have in your area but I'm going to give you some links to some pregnancy/post partum support sites that have really helped me. One of them has resources for finding providers who specialize in maternal mental health in your country. Honestly, the med game during pregnancy is really hard and I don't really trust any psychiatrist at this point. But can you look into counseling? Are there support groups in your area? I joined a support group for pregnant and post partum moms with depression and anxiety and it's been the best thing for me. I volunteer there now, even though I'm not completely recovered.

 

http://www.postpartum.net/

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/

 

I was on zoloft for the second half of my pregnancy. Baby is totally fine. Not my first choice, but I know there are lot of moms who use ADs during pregnancy . I don't advocate for this, but it does happen and if you do have to reinstate it doesn't necessarily mean you are harming your baby, especially if it's a low dose. 

Hugs

Sarah

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Ouarezki.

 

Paroxetine is probably more difficult to go off than fluoxetine, but since you were taking paroxetine, reinstating a little bit of that, such as 1mg-2mg as Petunia suggested, would be more likely to stop your withdrawal symptoms. Later, you would taper off by tiny, tiny amounts.

 

That small amount is less likely to harm the baby.

 

As Fresh described, making a liquid with the powder from a Prozac capsule is the easiest way to take a small amount.

 

Taking a batch of psychiatric drugs is far more harmful to the baby! That "therapist" does not sound very astute.

 

In many countries, any kind of doctor can prescribe fluoxetine or other psychiatric drugs. Is this the same in Tunis? You may wish to work with a different doctor who doesn't add to your stress.

[Ouarezki]

Thanks for getting in touch sarah

 

may i ask, did u find it hard tapering off the zoloft for your last trimester?

 

I live in Tunisia, North Africa so group therapy or poste/ antenatal pregnancy groups don't exist. Thank the lord for forums

 

I don't trust psychitartists either, they don't even recognize withdrawal symptoms and absolutly neglect pregnancy hormones, i mean he gave me a strong med called Olanza and never even explained what it was for. When i went back to tell him i wasn't comfortable taking it he said "go see another specialist in that case". So i said its a harmless question and he said its due to my "mood instability". SEriously isn't that just hormones from pregnancy!!

[Ouarezki]

Altostrata Thanks for chipping in

 

I've tried 4 different doctors already and all of this is getting costy (we don't have insurance yet as we're stil getting the paperwork done)

 

I thought i could trust this therpaist because he specializes in behavioural therapy ( very rare here) and I made it clear that meds were my absolute last resort, I'm not sure how and why he changed his mind.

 

OK everyone has convinced me to go back on paroxetine... Deroxat for me, just us well i can cut the tablets they are not capsules.

 

Do you thing it is enough to alleviate the horrible anxiety and the feeling of disconnection?

[Altostrata]

Reinstatement should alleviate withdrawal symptoms.

 

Do you have 10mg paroxetine tablets? A quarter of one would be roughly 2.5mg. Otherwise, please consider making a liquid from a tablet, explained here Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

[KarenB]

Hey Ouarezki,

 

I'm glad you've made a decision which should bring you some relief.  You have real strength in you to be able to find your way through all these options - your baby will be feeling so safe with such a mama. 

 

Have you tried guided meditations on the web?  I'm just thinking of how you can get some relief from the emotional stuff you are going through.  When I was pregnant I found it helpful to write out affirmations.  Perhaps you could try this, it may help you build up your sense of who you are right now and how you are getting through this. 

 

I am a strong woman, capable of taking care of myself and my baby. 

 

My baby is feeling all the love I have for him/her. 

 

Even though I feel disconnected right now due to drugs, I know in my heart that I am connected deeply to each of the people in my life, and that eventually the matching feelings will return. 

 

Those are just some ideas - you'll be able to think of others.

 

Thinking of you today,

Karen

x

[Ouarezki]

Karen, your words are so wonderful

 

I wsh i could write out affirmations and believe in them I'm currently very very depressed and i keep crying all day (i'm home alone again) I can't even get up for a drink of water

 

The baby is obviosuly not getting the right nutrition but i'm so disconnected i can't even see that. So, no 'm the worst mum ever;;;; i can't even make an effort anymore. Basically lost all hope

 

My husband was very angry with me for having changed my mind about the meds, he told me to give the stupid prozac a try because he bought it and he doesn't believe in forums : DISASTER i keep crying and when i called the idiot docor he said "it's normal to feel like this for the first couple of days"....he never warned me though, i know that when i came out of his office he said "you'll feel better in no time". AAAARGH

 

I really can't handle this anymore, i can't eat, i can't move. I'm terrified of everything and I don't think anything will help me right now.

[AliG]

Ouarezki,

 

Reinstatement should alleviate withdrawal symptoms.

 

Do you have 10mg paroxetine tablets? A quarter of one would be roughly 2.5mg. Otherwise, please consider making a liquid from a tablet, explained here Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

Just try to breathe, and think ,for a minute.  Listen to you. Not your husband , or anyone else. Please , read over the links. Come back with your questions .

Ali

[Fresh]

You should notice a dampening of symptoms pretty quickly after reinstating - some people feel a difference within hours.

Use a pill-cutter from a pharmacy to get a precise cut or make a liquid.  If you start on liquid now it will make tapering easier later.

If you haven't opened the prozac you may be able to return it to the chemist and get a refund.   Your husband must be scared for 

you too - he just wants you to be well again.

[KarenB]

You are most definitely not the worst mum ever.  The drugs are the worst mum ever.  They are clouding the right and true connection you have with your baby.  But, even though you can't see and feel them, those connections are there.  It is impossible for them not to be.  Your baby is safe, and you are making decisions which are going to bring stability. 

 

The small reinstatement should bring some relief. 

 

Tell yourself the true things even if you don't feel them.  Eventually you'll be further down the path and it will start to be okay.  Just keep yourself on that path. 

 

There is strength in you - you can do this.  

 

((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

[Ouarezki]

Hey guys, you've been so lovely: you're the only people i have at the moment and i wouldn't wish for anyone else:

 

 

UPDATE: just reinstated today on Deroxat (paroxetine)

 

REALLY REALLY WISHING THINGS WILL GET BETTER 

 

I'll try to updtae soon

[bubble]

You are very brave and you are doing the best you can.

 

I believe you will get a relief soon.

 

We very much look forward to the update.

 

Hugs,

Bubble

[Ouarezki]

So far sooo bad: crying and jittering, panic attacks all day, feelings of doom

 

Please please let this get better i just want to die!!!!!!!

[bubble]

Was there anything at all different after you took the drug?

 

Some people feel a reaction quickly but that's not typical. Usually it takes 4 days.

 

How much did you take?

 

Just focus on managing one moment at a time.

 

You can do it!

[Fresh]

Are these things new since you took the dose , or is it the same as before?   Would you say you feel better , worse , or the same?

 

What dose of deroxat did you take?

[Ouarezki]

Guys a crappy update i'm afraid:

 

my OBGYN told to to stop taking deroxat as its been proven dangerous for the baby, i had to stop it and take YET another drug.

 

If it wasn't for the baby i would have gone throuth the withdrawal but i've lost sooo much weight and i'm getting worse.

 

I'm gonna take her advice and i'm starting my self on Seroplex and Olanza (for the appetite or i'll die of hunger)

 

This is really a sad time for me because all i can think about is "what if the meds don't work", "what if you can't withdraw from this drug"

 

But the baby comes and i have to get better

 

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR WONDERDUL ADVICE i wish you a prompt recovery and a happier ever after