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GirlfromD: insomnia


GirlfromD

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Another thing i have is that i constantly thinking about "will I get over this?" "what is this now?" and so on its like i don't have room for anything other than my health, and i keep asking my dad all the time "Do you think i get over this" or "will I be better tomorow"  like i can't think rationally or logic, like an obsessive thought, is this normal? Sometimes yes i get the feeling that I have to keep moving or do something or else i won't get better, stuff like that.

 

 

oh my yes, this is very normal for WD! It happens to me all the time. I will be obsessed with my health and WD and do nothing but think about it and want to talk about it all the time.

 

it's hard to go out and do stuff because my mind is on my symptoms and wondering when they'll get better.

 

also that feeling like you have to keep moving or doing something, that sounds a bit like akithesia.

I have the feeling like I should be do certain things all the time and get nervous because I'm not sure which things to do first, and then get tired trying to decide, so I just come on line and read the forum.

 

It's hard but all these things are VERY common in WD and will get better in time.

 

oh the memories, too, I've read that on a lot of other ppls threads, and I'm having that too, memories will pop up from years ago, things I have no reason to be thinking about now. It's weird but it's very common

 

how is your sleep now, any better? I hope!

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Hi everybody.

I just wanna tell you all that im now so much better than i was a year ago. Im starting to feel more and more like my old self. I can spend time with my family now, watch movies and go for long walks, i still have a way to go, but i am much more happy than i was last year! I just wanna tell you all that there is hope, that if you are patient things will get better! I know that sometimes things feels like an uphill struggle, but then just think of the view from the top, cause you will reach the top sooner or later. I hope things will continue to improve, i can only hope for the best. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to GirlfromD: Insomnia
  • Moderator Emeritus

That is great news, GirlfromD!  Thank you for the very encouraging update.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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6 hours ago, GirlfromD said:

Hi everybody.

I just wanna tell you all that im now so much better than i was a year ago. Im starting to feel more and more like my old self. I can spend time with my family now, watch movies and go for long walks, i still have a way to go, but i am much more happy than i was last year! I just wanna tell you all that there is hope, that if you are patient things will get better! I know that sometimes things feels like an uphill struggle, but then just think of the view from the top, cause you will reach the top sooner or later. I hope things will continue to improve, i can only hope for the best. 

Great to hear.

Hope you reach optimum health soon.

 

What things and methods helped you in the past year pf recovery?

 

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
12 hours ago, bhasski said:

Great to hear.

Hope you reach optimum health soon.

 

What things and methods helped you in the past year pf recovery?

 

Thank you bhasskiI started to slowly get outside and go for some walks in the nature, that gave me some peace in my mind, I walk 2 times a day now. I tried not to stress myself too much in the beginning and only do what i felt like I could overcome and if that was nothing, it was okay. I also started watching some tv, that kept me distracted from my head sometimes. Also i moved home to my father, so i wasn´t alone and he has been a great support for me during this, to have someone to talk to is very important i think. Then I told myself everyday you can do this! You are strong and you will get over this, and it also helped.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • 2 months later...

Update:  I am 2 years out, and i feel okay. The last couple of months have been okay and i was able to celebrate Christmas and New years eve with my family and had a great time and that was a big goal for me. I still feel some symtoms, but they are much less than a year ago. I am able to go for long walk almost every day now, and i watch  A LOT of tv, and enjoy it, although it's mostly cartoon's haha (don't know why that is) but it's as if more serious things are too hard to watch yet. I really hope I can get started with tougher physical training this year but for now i can only walk.

 

I am able to spend time with my family now and it makes me so happy, but i'm always nervous before the event, an appointment or I have to be with people/family for many days. Does anybody relate to this struggle, is this normal i wd? And most times it ends up just fine, but i worry so much before an event. I feel more like the old me, and i am able to handle symtoms much better, I can enjoy things and laugh. I don't feel as sad and down at all like i used to and thats great! But i do feel a lot of anger at times, i become very angry very easy, and have to say "sorry" a lot, this worries me a little, also become very easily irritated.

 

But all in all things are muh better.


 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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2 hours ago, GirlfromD said:

i watch  A LOT of tv, and enjoy it, although it's mostly cartoon's haha (don't know why that is) but it's as if more serious things are too hard to watch yet. 

 

I also feel same.. seems liking the things usually kids enjoy.  Though it is good, but lacking mature emotions and attitude makes me worrisome.

 

Being old, knowing that .. and yet feel like child emotions .. what has happened to the brain .

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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20 hours ago, bhasski said:

 

I also feel same.. seems liking the things usually kids enjoy.  Though it is good, but lacking mature emotions and attitude makes me worrisome.

 

Being old, knowing that .. and yet feel like child emotions .. what has happened to the brain .

Yes that is true, it is strange indeed. It's also kind of embarrassing at times, I try to hide it a little from people that I watch it ^_^

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • 3 months later...

 

Is it possible to hit a harder wave after 28 months off the medicine ?!

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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Anything is possible with these drugs!

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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9 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

Anything is possible with these drugs!

Yes! Its just so frustrating, after such a long time, and all of a sudden i can't even go for walks anymore, symtoms worsen and i just feel so helpless.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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What sort of symptoms are you getting?

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

Link to comment
10 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

What sort of symptoms are you getting?

I feel dizzy, fatigue, nervepain, + a lot more, all of the same symtoms i have been having almost daily, just more intense, my breathing is the worst part, feel like im not getting enough air! Also tired and a little bit anxious, the anxiety has gotten a little worse, i Never had this in my entire life, not until i got these meds and got off them.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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Also i have been really pissed off at people, these last couple of months, could that also be withdrawal related? Like i have been having a lot of rage, because of that im having a hard time being around people.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to comment
18 minutes ago, GirlfromD said:

I feel dizzy, fatigue, nervepain, + a lot more, all of the same symtoms i have been having almost daily, just more intense, my breathing is the worst part, feel like im not getting enough air! Also tired and a little bit anxious, the anxiety has gotten a little worse, i Never had this in my entire life, not until i got these meds and got off them.

 

Can you see someone (osteopath) to help ease the nerve pain?

 

There are great supplements out there to help with fatigue.

 

I know these symptoms well, and so if you are able to get help with coping with the symptoms, so much the better.

 

We all have to learn to breathe properly, that's for sure.  Don't think I've breathed properly in years..........

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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I am 19 months theoff and  last week plus have been one of the worst going through this.  It's been constant hell everyday this past week.  I don't get it.  Are your symptoms the same as in the earlier months?

What were you on, how long and mg?

In June 2014 I was taking Celexa for 2 days, 25 mg zoloft 8 weeks, 10 mg Paxil 3 months and 10 mg Lexapro 1 month tapered off in 2 wks.. Was on a total of 6 months had side effects to them all. Went off and had my first panic attack a month later in January 2015. In March 2015 was having stomach issues and was put on Xanax for a week Dr. Said it was anxiety. End of that week woke up heart racing so was put back on Lexapro 5 MG and the next night is when my sleep got messed up. Literally not sleeping

Was it the Xanax or lexapro?? Went off sleep on and off and taking Xanax on and off. The end of April 2015 tried Buspar for 2 days and had side effects and could not sleep at all. Middle of May 2015 went on Ambien and lexapro again. Inner vibration started. Switched to paxil. Went off Ambien in June 2015 and off Paxil July 2015. October 2015 got worse went of zoloft 12.5 mg through December 2015. I was tolerating what I was going through January and February 2016. Then March got worse with horrible panic. Tried hypnotherapy in May 2016 a couple times couldn't Relax when she started counting backwards it freaked me out. Started not sleeping again in May. Went back on Xanax for 2 months May-July 2016. Tried liquid Prozac 5 mg then 10 mg side effects July - August then switched Zoloft 12.5 mg August - September 2016. Been off antidepressants since September 5, 2016. Been off Xanax since July 28, 2016, but I have taken it 8 other times since then through May 2017. Have symptoms going on with agoraphobia. Is this withdrawal??

May 2017 feeling horrible and more intense symptoms.

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  • Administrator

Hello, GFD, I moved your posts here.

 

Has anything changed recently, have you taken any other drugs, such as antibiotics? Has your sleep pattern changed?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Can you see someone (osteopath) to help ease the nerve pain?

 

There are great supplements out there to help with fatigue.

 

I know these symptoms well, and so if you are able to get help with coping with the symptoms, so much the better.

 

We all have to learn to breathe properly, that's for sure.  Don't think I've breathed properly in years..........

Right now, I do not have the energy to just leave the house, but if I get more energi, I will definitely consider it. Have you tried it and did it help? Yes, that's true, it's also strange with the breathing it comes and goes, and I'm sure it's wd related and when its bad I also get palpitations. Oh i hope this will be over soon, its just so frustrating this far out off the medicine.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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15 hours ago, BAT said:

I am 19 months theoff and  last week plus have been one of the worst going through this.  It's been constant hell everyday this past week.  I don't get it.  Are your symptoms the same as in the earlier months?

What were you on, how long and mg?

Hi Bat. 

Yes, it's really hard when you get affected by so many unpleasant symptoms. I hope things will get easier for you. I have had the same symptoms more or less every day since the beginnig, but here at the end they were just a lot milder and easier to deal with. I was on 150 mg of Sertraline, 50 mg Mirtzapine for 5 years approx.
 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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20 hours ago, GirlfromD said:

Also i have been really pissed off at people, these last couple of months, could that also be withdrawal related? Like i have been having a lot of rage, because of that im having a hard time being around people.

 

Likewise, I think it's our previously suppressed (by AD) emotions returning.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Hello, GFD, I moved your posts here.

 

Has anything changed recently, have you taken any other drugs, such as antibiotics? Has your sleep pattern changed?

Hello Altostrata. That's okay. This may sound strange but the week up to this wave hitting I smoked a little cigarettes after quitting over a year ago, due to a very serve wave hitting at that time, wich made it impossible for me to smoke anymore (I know it's a terrible habbit) I had to stop it again almost immediately again though because it made me feel a little sick, I also wondered if it could have triggered anything, i dont know.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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5 minutes ago, Junglechicken said:

 

Likewise, I think it's our previously suppressed (by AD) emotions returning.

Okay so it could just be my feelings returning maybe. It feels so intense at times, and it's hard to get so angry all the time. Sometimes I even get a little anxious after I totally snapped at somebody, its scary. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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40 minutes ago, GirlfromD said:

 It feels so intense at times, and it's hard to get so angry all the time. Sometimes I even get a little anxious after I totally snapped at somebody, its scary. 

 

This is happening with me for 6 months or so. Also i have left going out for walks which I continued to months.

 

This is bad.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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  • Administrator

Please do go out for walks!

 

GirlfromD, sounds like the cigarettes might have done it.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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3 hours ago, bhasski said:

 

This is happening with me for 6 months or so. Also i have left going out for walks which I continued to months.

 

This is bad.

Yes, it's really hard to have it that way. Did you stop walking after having done it for a long time? I had been walking everyday in about a year, and then suddenly i dont get out anymore. Have you been out of the medicine for a long time?

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please do go out for walks!

 

GirlfromD, sounds like the cigarettes might have done it.

I will try to do that, and push myself a little to go for some walks again. Yes I also suspect that, I will definitely not do that again. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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On 5/2/2018 at 10:39 PM, GirlfromD said:

Yes, it's really hard to have it that way. Did you stop walking after having done it for a long time? I had been walking everyday in about a year, and then suddenly i dont get out anymore. Have you been out of the medicine for a long time?

 

Yes, I am off medicines for 26 months.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Update: 

The wave I thought would hit a few months ago was not as bad as i thought, and things have improved and it makes me so happy! I still have some improvements to do, but I feel like this could end up good. Also the racing thought symtom that I had that bothered me a lot have improved, this gives me hope. I also feel like this was the best decision i could make getting off these meds.

And for the first time in years I was able to spend some time by myself on the beach yesterday, I have started doing more normal things again. Hopefully, this will continue


 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 6/26/2018 at 12:33 AM, GirlfromD said:

Update: 

The wave I thought would hit a few months ago was not as bad as i thought, and things have improved and it makes me so happy! I still have some improvements to do, but I feel like this could end up good. Also the racing thought symtom that I had that bothered me a lot have improved, this gives me hope. I also feel like this was the best decision i could make getting off these meds.

And for the first time in years I was able to spend some time by myself on the beach yesterday, I have started doing more normal things again. Hopefully, this will continue



 

 

That’s great news GirlfromD, 

 

It feels amazing when in a window. Your windows will continue to get wider and wider. If you end up in a wave again don’t let it get all consuming, you now have evidence that you will get better. We all get better, we just don’t know when. 

 

Enjoy your times in nature and at the beach. You will have lovely memories to look back on. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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12 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

That’s great news GirlfromD, 

 

It feels amazing when in a window. Your windows will continue to get wider and wider. If you end up in a wave again don’t let it get all consuming, you now have evidence that you will get better. We all get better, we just don’t know when. 

 

Enjoy your times in nature and at the beach. You will have lovely memories to look back on. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

Thanks Carmie☺️ Yes, it feels really good to be in a window, although there are still symptoms while I'm in windows, but they are more manageable. I will try to enjoy it as much as I can. We all get better yes, we just have to be patient, then we'll get there sooner or later.

 

 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, GirlfromD said:

 

Thanks Carmie☺️ Yes, it feels really good to be in a window, although there are still symptoms while I'm in windows, but they are more manageable. I will try to enjoy it as much as I can. We all get better yes, we just have to be patient, then we'll get there sooner or later.

 

 

 

Hi GirlfromD, 

 

Yes,  Im in a window too and I still have symptoms as well. They aren’t as intense though. I don’t think we are ever symptom free in windows but they are a lot more bearable. One day though when these meds are out of our system and our brains have reached equilibrium the symptoms will be gone. Yay!

 

One day at a time and slow and steady does it💚

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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20 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

Hi GirlfromD, 

 

Yes,  Im in a window too and I still have symptoms as well. They aren’t as intense though. I don’t think we are ever symptom free in windows but they are a lot more bearable. One day though when these meds are out of our system and our brains have reached equilibrium the symptoms will be gone. Yay!

 

One day at a time and slow and steady does it💚

 

 

 

I'm glad to hear you're also in a window, that's great 😊. It's somehow nice to know that I am not the only one experiencing symtoms while in a window, and not necessarily completely symptom free, I thought that many people almost didn't have any symptoms while they were in a window and that I maybe just were a bad case.

 

You're so right Carmie, one day its time to celebrate! 😁

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 6/30/2018 at 4:59 AM, GirlfromD said:

 

I'm glad to hear you're also in a window, that's great 😊. It's somehow nice to know that I am not the only one experiencing symtoms while in a window, and not necessarily completely symptom free, I thought that many people almost didn't have any symptoms while they were in a window and that I maybe just were a bad case.

 

You're so right Carmie, one day its time to celebrate! 😁

 

Hi GirlfromD,

 

No, you’re definitely not the only one who still has symptoms in windows. Most people still have some symptoms. Windows just mean that our symptoms aren’t as intense. We feel a bit more stable. 

 

Im tapering again at the end of August. I’ve been having a bit of a break as I wanted to do a few things. 

 

Take care💚

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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On 7/1/2018 at 9:06 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi GirlfromD,

 

No, you’re definitely not the only one who still has symptoms in windows. Most people still have some symptoms. Windows just mean that our symptoms aren’t as intense. We feel a bit more stable. 

 

Im tapering again at the end of August. I’ve been having a bit of a break as I wanted to do a few things. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

Okay, that makes sense. Good luck with your tapering.

 

Best wishes 😊

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • 2 months later...

Hi everyone. I am currently experiencing a lot of intense anger (it has been there throughout my course though) but just feeling more intense than usual. I'm constantly scared of explode in angry outbursts, say things I regret, etc. As I live with my father, I am constantly in conflict with him and with my sister. I am constantly very annoyed at everything and the whole world and it is very difficult for me, almost like I hate everyone (but know deep down i dont). I am always in doubt if I should isolate myself, but feel too weak yet to manage myself. I am burdened with guilt and bad conscience over my anger. Are there any who have some advice on what I can do? Methods etc. This worries me. Is this normal? Otherwise, other things are going better.

 

hope you guys are doing well. 

 

 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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HI GD you have just taking every word out of my own experience ,its astonishing what is going on in the brain let alone when its tricked by going on and coming off drugs .from my experience when I am in a serious irritation cycle ,the best thing for me is to isolate and distract .

 

Guilt is hideous ,I suggest doing a lot of reading up on all these guilt feelings and guilt itself  ,they very well are  exaggerated as nuero emotions  but its hard when caught it the spiral .

I suggest getting a diary and expressing your feelings into that and maybe even a specific "anger" diary to vent .

Our bodys are extrodianrly complex [in my opinion the most astonishing thing the human race will ever know ] this quest to live on mars doesn't even come close lol.

I often talk about serious criminals and dangerous people not having guilt for there crimes and good folk who respect other having "issues" with guilt .it doesn't make sense does it .

 the body will hold onto stress in every living tissue of the body ,I suggest some for of release through exercise,journaling ,we are like sponges absorbing everything around us .

 

This withdrawal in my opinion makes us like  empaths ,I have the ability to absorb someone's bad mood   and pain instantaneously.[the pain body ,Eckhart tolle ,google this ,its very interesting and so true ].   

 I need to be constantly be  aware of being over stimulated positively and negative. im just back from a trip to visit my little niece and she hugged me and said I love you uncle and in her little voice nearly crushed me with emotion to my knees ,I deserve that love because im a decent human being like you say you and are under the dark cloud of withdrawl ,just keep at it ,we all do and the sun will shine ,always love and accept yourself ,learn everyday about you not what people think of you . 

Find music ,movies ,books that nurture nice positive feelings in your soul.

ok we need to get through the bad times but need to nurture our souls because this withdrawl is the demon and ive let it manipulate me for way to long ,its time to fight back and slay the dragon  

Take care and be safe G

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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