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GirlfromD: insomnia


GirlfromD

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Hi im new, I will update my storie when I am feeling better than now.

 

At the moment i can't sleep, i fall a sleep in the morning at 7 or 8. the other day i tried to change it by staying awake for 25 hours

 

straight. And i got a little bit of sleep last night. But today im feeling odd, like i haven't slept for 3 days or something, could the insomania

 

return, in that case me staying awake for so long is a total waste of time!? Should i just go with the insomania and sleep when I can not

 

try to force myself into a better sleeping pattern. Please help! And sorry for my English.

Edited by scallywag
added medication tags

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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Welcome GirlfromD,

 

You will find good company among all the insomniacs on this site.  For instance I'm in New Zealand and should definitely be asleep but here I am typing...

 

Resetting your sleep patterns is a good idea, but you may have approached it a little too drastically.  When we are in withdrawal, our CNS loves stability more than anything else, and that includes waking and sleeping at the same times each day.  That probably explains why you are feeling strange today, but you should settle again.

 

It may be better to gradually make changes.  There is a good thread called Tips to Help Sleep that discusses sleep training.  If you haven't yet read that, you may find it useful. 

 

You finished tapering both Sertraline and Mirtazapine at the end of November?  And you are now experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  You may have tapered faster than your CNS could cope with.  At only two months out you may like to consider a reinstatement of a low dose.  There are no guarantees, but it seems a better option than trying to wait it out (which could take months or years). 

 

Then, once you had stabilised, you could begin to taper slowly and gently:  Why taper by 10% of my dose?

 

Thank you for writing a signature.  When you are feeling better could you add to it dates and amounts you reduced by - it helps us to be more accurate when we are helping you. 

 

Anyway, have a read of those links and then come back to this thread to discuss things or ask more questions.  This can be your journal to record your progress.  I hope you feel a little relief soon.

 

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Hi Girl from D . Welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing insomnia. As a fellow sufferer, I can identify and empathize with your distress. Thank you for putting in your drug history signature. However, if you don't mind a few more questions, it will help to address your concerns in a more concise manner. You tapered over 15 months ?  How did you taper ?  What dosage ?  Was it Sertraline and/ or Mirtazapine ?  Together or separately ?

Possibly you tapered too quickly , and are now suffering withdrawal effects , particularly insomnia. There are a lot of us insomniacs here, unfortunately.

You might consider a small  reinstatement , of 1 or 2mg to alleviate withdrawal symptoms. In the meantime , these links might help  :

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/189-melatonin-for-sleep/

 

This is your thread to journal/ ask questions / and record progress. Please,  have a read and come back with any questions and concerns.

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Welcome GirlfromD,

 

You will find good company among all the insomniacs on this site.  For instance I'm in New Zealand and should definitely be asleep but here I am typing...

 

Resetting your sleep patterns is a good idea, but you may have approached it a little too drastically.  When we are in withdrawal, our CNS loves stability more than anything else, and that includes waking and sleeping at the same times each day.  That probably explains why you are feeling strange today, but you should settle again.

 

It may be better to gradually make changes.  There is a good thread called Tips to Help Sleep that discusses sleep training.  If you haven't yet read that, you may find it useful. 

 

You finished tapering both Sertraline and Mirtazapine at the end of November?  And you are now experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  You may have tapered faster than your CNS could cope with.  At only two months out you may like to consider a reinstatement of a low dose.  There are no guarantees, but it seems a better option than trying to wait it out (which could take months or years). 

 

Then, once you had stabilised, you could begin to taper slowly and gently:  Why taper by 10% of my dose?

 

Thank you for writing a signature.  When you are feeling better could you add to it dates and amounts you reduced by - it helps us to be more accurate when we are helping you. 

 

Anyway, have a read of those links and then come back to this thread to discuss things or ask more questions.  This can be your journal to record your progress.  I hope you feel a little relief soon.

 

Karen

Thanks for the answer,

 

Welcome GirlfromD,

 

You will find good company among all the insomniacs on this site.  For instance I'm in New Zealand and should definitely be asleep but here I am typing...

 

Resetting your sleep patterns is a good idea, but you may have approached it a little too drastically.  When we are in withdrawal, our CNS loves stability more than anything else, and that includes waking and sleeping at the same times each day.  That probably explains why you are feeling strange today, but you should settle again.

 

It may be better to gradually make changes.  There is a good thread called Tips to Help Sleep that discusses sleep training.  If you haven't yet read that, you may find it useful. 

 

You finished tapering both Sertraline and Mirtazapine at the end of November?  And you are now experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  You may have tapered faster than your CNS could cope with.  At only two months out you may like to consider a reinstatement of a low dose.  There are no guarantees, but it seems a better option than trying to wait it out (which could take months or years). 

 

Then, once you had stabilised, you could begin to taper slowly and gently:  Why taper by 10% of my dose?

 

Thank you for writing a signature.  When you are feeling better could you add to it dates and amounts you reduced by - it helps us to be more accurate when we are helping you. 

 

Anyway, have a read of those links and then come back to this thread to discuss things or ask more questions.  This can be your journal to record your progress.  I hope you feel a little relief soon.

 

Karen

Thank you for the answer Karen! I will check out the links. I just realised i wrote the wrong year i finished my tapper in. I quit Mirtzapine  28 november 2015, my

 

start dose on this drug was 50 mg, and my final dose was down to 7,50 mg. Sertraline start dose 150 mg, and last dose 6 mg 4 January 2016. Sorry for the

 

mistake. I am now experiencing withdrawal symptoms yes, feeling dizzy, nausea, repetitive thoughts (with repetitive songs in my head too, like a jukebox, very

 

strange) crying spells and pain in body.

 

 

GirlfromD.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Hi Girl from D . Welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing insomnia. As a fellow sufferer, I can identify and empathize with your distress. Thank you for putting in your drug history signature. However, if you don't mind a few more questions, it will help to address your concerns in a more concise manner. You tapered over 15 months ?  How did you taper ?  What dosage ?  Was it Sertraline and/ or Mirtazapine ?  Together or separately ?

Possibly you tapered too quickly , and are now suffering withdrawal effects , particularly insomnia. There are a lot of us insomniacs here, unfortunately.

You might consider a small  reinstatement , of 1 or 2mg to alleviate withdrawal symptoms. In the meantime , these links might help  :

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/189-melatonin-for-sleep/

 

This is your thread to journal/ ask questions / and record progress. Please,  have a read and come back with any questions and concerns.

Ali

Hi Ali thanks for your answer! I just realised i wrote the wrong year i finished my tapper in.

 

I quit Mirtzapine  28 november 2015, sorry for the mistake. My 

start dose on this drug was 50 mg, and my final dose was down to 7,50 mg. Sertraline start dose 150 mg, and last dose 6 mg 4 January 2016. I started tappering both drugs august last year, so I have been tappering over 4 months for Mirtzapine, and 5 months for sertraline. I dont remember exactly how much i tappered down from time to time though. 

 

GirlfromD.

Possibly you tapered too quickly 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Hi Girl from D . Welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing insomnia. As a fellow sufferer, I can identify and empathize with your distress. Thank you for putting in your drug history signature. However, if you don't mind a few more questions, it will help to address your concerns in a more concise manner. You tapered over 15 months ?  How did you taper ?  What dosage ?  Was it Sertraline and/ or Mirtazapine ?  Together or separately ?

Possibly you tapered too quickly , and are now suffering withdrawal effects , particularly insomnia. There are a lot of us insomniacs here, unfortunately.

You might consider a small  reinstatement , of 1 or 2mg to alleviate withdrawal symptoms. In the meantime , these links might help  :

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/189-melatonin-for-sleep/

 

This is your thread to journal/ ask questions / and record progress. Please,  have a read and come back with any questions and concerns.

Ali

Thanks for the links, I will read them.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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I have come to a point where i have pushed everybody i knew away. Isolating myself cuz i dont like to be around people when i can't funktion :( It is making me very sad i have never felt so alone ever in my life, making me cry. And im scared if I ever return to a normal life ever again with friends and a social life. I just feel like this crazy person, that no one likes, not even myself.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi GirlfromD ,  welcome to the site.

 

So you actually are around 2 months off mirtazapine.  And you stopped sertraline 3 weeks ago from a dose of 6mg.

 

" I just realised i wrote the wrong year i finished my tapper in.

I quit Mirtzapine  28 november 2015, sorry for the mistake. My 

start dose on this drug was 50 mg, and my final dose was down to 7,50 mg. Sertraline start dose 150 mg, and last dose 6 mg 4 January 2016."

 

This changes things in a big way.  I would suggest reinstating a small dose of both sertraline and mirtazapine in order

to halt the withdrawal symptoms and give you a chance to stabilize.

 

Please read our thread on reinstating here  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

bw ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thanks. Yes that is correct, im 2 months off mirtzapine and 3 weeks off sertraline. Is there anything else i can do, can i just wait it out till it gets better? I just dont want to go back on the drugs, they made my life hell :(

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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Hi GirlfromD.   Unfortunately , it's not that simple. A small reinstatement can alleviate some of your withdrawal symptoms , so that you can stabilize and then slowly taper off. Waiting it out, can take years for some ,and It can become extremely difficult. At that point there is nothing more you can do . At least now , you have a choice. There is no guarantee, but you have a  good chance of lessening symptoms. Reinstating, can help you to stay functional during this process. No one wants to be on the drugs, but sometimes a little helps ease the pain, until your system stabilizes .

Here is a link that might help you decide : 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

Have a read and see what you think . It's your choice, but it's good to know your options and be fully informed, at this stage. Come back with any questions you might have , and if you decide to reinstate, someone here can help you decide what dose to start back on. This might be worth reading , as well.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to post

Thank you so much AliG, I will definitely take a look at that. It makes sence to me that i can ease the symptoms more with a small dose while my brain is stabilising.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Of course you can wait it out Girl.    

The truth of the matter is though , it may take many months or years until you recover going that route.

 

Lots of members on this site stopped abruptly like you , and would give anything to be able to have a do-over to avoid the suffering of that process.

 

The idea of reinstating a tiny amount is to allow your cns to stabilize (i.e. w/d symptoms resolve)    then taper slowly off in a safe and smooth way.  

This method , with decreases of maximum 10% each month , avoids debilitating w/d symptoms.

 

You might consider trying a small amount of just sertraline for a few days and see if you get any

symptom relief.

If you decide to try this , let us know and we'll help you figure out a sensible dosage and how to get

it from your tablets.

 

If you go to the Relationships section , there's a page for Nordic / Finnish / Danish members to get in contact.

 

bw ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to post
  • 11 months later...

I really need help! I wasnt able to celebrate christmas with my familiy due to maybe a very hard wave! I am off the medicine 11 months and 28 days and I hit something where i can't fucktion at alle and it makes me really scared!! I have cramp, very hard time breathing, dry mouth and heart racing, and also very intense racing thoughts and it makes me very afraid, and i dont know what is happening. Some people in here talked about a very hard wave that could hit in the end off the first year off, some call it the 10 month wave. These intense symtoms started a month ago, so i was wondering if that could be it. Is this normal?? My heart have been racing for a couple off days now, does this go away? And how long could this take? I so scared!!

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Im scared this won't go away and i dont want to give up! Also i can't sleep or eat these days.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Don't be scared GirlfromD, this is all part of withdrawal. These backwards steps will happen and then they will ease off and you start all over again with going forward. These new symptoms are horrible but they will pass!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 32 years, given AD for this condition alone in 2000

Zoloft 100mg for 15 years, last five of these complained about adverse effects,

unable to tolerate other meds even supplements

Slowly felt sicker, advised by different Dr maybe on ads for too long

Cut back 100 - 50 over 6 months, still getting worse, so stopped over about 6 weeks starting Dec 2014

First month, slow, emotional, useless then POW! Horrendous withdrawal symptoms, completely non-functional

for about five months, slowly started to come back to life and continue with waves and windows, still more bad than good, but bads are less bad, and goods slightly better each time

Link to post

Don't be scared GirlfromD, this is all part of withdrawal. These backwards steps will happen and then they will ease off and you start all over again with going forward. These new symptoms are horrible but they will pass!

Thank so much for your answer Cherry47.

 

Also i have heart palpilations all day these days, and anxiety feeling in my chest, so I cant be around anyone at all these days. I had progress this year so i dont understand what this is.

 

If this is a wave it feel just as bad as in the beginning (maybe a little worse). I just dont hope this will take long or be worse! I have to isolate myself these days too, and my family thinks it can't be true that its still withdrawal that effects me after so long, so they say that I should go back on meds and seek prof. help etc.

 

So what i'm experiencing isnt unusual, have others experienced this?

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

It's just so terrible, also i lay in bed all day these days. Haven't had heart palpitations like this before, and can't concentrate, and im having repeating thoughts over and over, its so hard

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Hello GirlfromD.

 

I am so sorry you are having these problems. I think the Mods will have more expertise in answering some of your questions particularly about a wave hitting after 10 months being drug free of which I have no experience. 

 

Have you done anything that could have triggered this? Eaten or drank anything? Taken any supplements?  Any life events that might be a stressor for you?

 

All the symptoms you mention are common in WD.  It is hard to say how long a wave will last as we are all different. What you can do to help things along is to try and find something that soothes your nervous system like relaxation exercises, mindfulness, meditation. Have you ever tried anything like this before?. 

 

Are you taking any supplements? Some people find magnesium and fish oil to be helpful. There is a thread about that.

 

When I am in a wave I feel just like you but make myself get up, take a shower and go for a walk.  Some days it is only a short walk! This is very hard I know but it may just make you feel better. You need to try and distract yourself from the symptoms to give your system a rest.

 

xxxx Flowers

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight.

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.

 

Link to post

Hello GirlfromD.

 

I am so sorry you are having these problems. I think the Mods will have more expertise in answering some of your questions particularly about a wave hitting after 10 months being drug free of which I have no experience. 

 

Have you done anything that could have triggered this? Eaten or drank anything? Taken any supplements?  Any life events that might be a stressor for you?

 

All the symptoms you mention are common in WD.  It is hard to say how long a wave will last as we are all different. What you can do to help things along is to try and find something that soothes your nervous system like relaxation exercises, mindfulness, meditation. Have you ever tried anything like this before?. 

 

Are you taking any supplements? Some people find magnesium and fish oil to be helpful. There is a thread about that.

 

When I am in a wave I feel just like you but make myself get up, take a shower and go for a walk.  Some days it is only a short walk! This is very hard I know but it may just make you feel better. You need to try and distract yourself from the symptoms to give your system a rest.

 

xxxx Flowers

I was going to celebrate christmas with my family and got terrible panic attacks, that stressed me, but this feeling of not getting enough air, builded up from last month where i quitted smokeing because of it. 

I was eating fishoil, b-vitamin and multivitamin but after i hit this i couldnt get anything down.

I have tried that a little but it is very hard for me, Its just when i get up of my bed, i feel like its making the heart racing worse. Is it bad for me if i only can lay in bed these days, its just so hard? 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Late last night i had some hours where i felt a little better, and then today it wasn't as intense and a little better, is this a good sign? But then at late noon it got a little worse again. I just hope this won't take very long. Do i have to start all over again after this, or will i be able to continue were i was? 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Well I would say if you are feeling a little better that has to be a good sign. :)  Things can change so quickly and be up and down can't they?

 

Not sure what you mean by having to start all over again?

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight.

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Some people experience a wave of symptoms about a year after their last dose.

 

I thought a few members started a topic about the 1-year wave earlier this year, but I haven't been able to find it. :(

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was starting to feel a little better, but the last two days has been awful again, with especially a lot of racing thougts all day, now im nervous again, also my throat feel very tight and hard, something is going on with my throat. Is all of this my brain regulating, is it a good thing? Or is this wave harming me, it is very hard. Will I get over this, and has anybody in here tried this, is it a bad sign.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Some people experience a wave of symptoms about a year after their last dose.

 

I thought a few members started a topic about the 1-year wave earlier this year, but I haven't been able to find it. :(

Okay maybe this is what im experinceing, did they talk about if that wave lasted long, do you remember what they said, did they get pass it. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Well I would say if you are feeling a little better that has to be a good sign. :)  Things can change so quickly and be up and down can't they?

 

Not sure what you mean by having to start all over again?

I hope so, these past days its been hard again, i hope it will get better again. Yes they sure can! This is a rollercoaster. I mean by starting over again, if this is a relapse, if I have to start from the beginning, if everything i had accomplished is lost now.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Hi 

 

Sounds like you are experiencing WD symptoms  again. From what I have read on here most people who are going through a wave see the symptoms fading eventually. We are all different though so it is difficult to know how long. It's what we all want to know when we are in a wave isn't it?

 

xxxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight.

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Im still in this very cruel wave, it just started to get better and then something new hit again, with a lot of symtoms! A weird thing is that i kind of see a pattern in these symtoms when they hit, is that possible, like the same things/symtoms comes almost the same days and fades very slowly?? This is scary and im scared if it dosent get better soon, if i can handle it, I am close to be giving up, and i dont want to give up! These last couple of weeks the ringing in my ears or tinitus or whatever it is, has gotten very intense, and the last week i almost feel like i can here birdsinging all the time, and it is making me crazy. Will this maybe fade soon, I hope the tinitus is better in a couple of days, because it was so intense today that i coldnt watch tv, and i need that to distract myself. I dont know what to do, this is so hard! Please help. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi GirlfromD, sorry this wave is still with you.  Do you notice anything that causes the waves (like too much exercise or unhealthy food)?  Or is it the more random windows and waves of withdrawal? 

 

Do you take fish oil and magnesium?  They are very useful to those in w/d. 

 

The pattern we see here on SA is that people do hit waves further out, but that they also continue to heal and recover, and their windows become longer and longer. 

 

It gets better

 

Hugs,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Hi GirlfromD, sorry this wave is still with you.  Do you notice anything that causes the waves (like too much exercise or unhealthy food)?  Or is it the more random windows and waves of withdrawal? 

 

Do you take fish oil and magnesium?  They are very useful to those in w/d. 

 

The pattern we see here on SA is that people do hit waves further out, but that they also continue to heal and recover, and their windows become longer and longer. 

 

It gets better

 

Hugs,

Karen

Thanks Karen! I have not noticed anything that I do that could cause it, it feels kind of like a pattern, could this be my brain trying to regulate, and then i feel all these strange things. It feels like a big wave, but with this wave good things came to, now I can go for walks and watch tv, that was impossible last year, but I also feel so weird all the time at the moment. I dont take fishoil at the moment. That is good news, I hope this wave will get less intense soon, it has lasted almost 2 months now, with only a small break where i felt okay. 

 

Also i have trouble seeing my family, i can't over come seeing them, except my dad that I live with at the moment, i just miss them and other people so much.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Great - having those improvements is an excellent sign. 

 

It's hard with family.  I imagine as things continue to improve you'll reach a stage where you do feel able to be with them again. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Link to post

A thing thats also bothering me a lot at the moment and making me scared is intrusive thoughts, it is very uncomfortable is this normal in wd? At the moment i walk a lot these days, and yesterday i went for an evening walk, now i get this thought over and over in my head that i culd go for a walk this evening, but i dont want to, and im afraid these thought will come again, will this go away again? I dont know what to do, should I suppress these thought when they come? Then the anxiety comes where i think should i go for a walk or not, but i can't walk all the time and i just want to relax in the evenings, this is just so hard.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

A thing thats also bothering me a lot at the moment and making me scared is intrusive thoughts, it is very uncomfortable is this normal in wd? At the moment i walk a lot these days, and yesterday i went for an evening walk, now i get this thought over and over in my head that i culd go for a walk this evening, but i dont want to, and im afraid these thought will come again, will this go away again? I dont know what to do, should I suppress these thought when they come? Then the anxiety comes where i think should i go for a walk or not, but i can't walk all the time and i just want to relax in the evenings, this is just so hard.

 

I am so sorry you are getting intrusive thoughts, that has been one of my worst withdrawal symptoms

 

You can try to distract yourself, by doing something that keeps your mind busy.

You can try to talk back to the thoughts, and tell them they are not real and can not hurt you.

You can see them as a sign that your brain is healing (funny way for it to show it, eh?) and try to accept them, knowing that they will go away in time.

 

it is very hard, I know!

do you have the feeling that you need to keep moving?

 

I hope that things are much better for you tomorrow.

don't lose hope, things can change and get better very quickly sometimes in withdrawal

 

I've been finding that my worst days are often followed by a really good one, or at least one that's a LOT better, so hold on to hope ok?

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • April 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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  • Moderator Emeritus

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9671-intrusive-thoughts-and-increased-panic/

 

There's a lot of good discussion in this thread that you'll hopefully find reassuring.  I skimmed through, and saw people with similar thoughts that you have, telling them they 'should' do things, and get the anxiety too.  You might find some ideas for dealing with it too - though Catnapt has given you a good list for starters. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

 

A thing thats also bothering me a lot at the moment and making me scared is intrusive thoughts, it is very uncomfortable is this normal in wd? At the moment i walk a lot these days, and yesterday i went for an evening walk, now i get this thought over and over in my head that i culd go for a walk this evening, but i dont want to, and im afraid these thought will come again, will this go away again? I dont know what to do, should I suppress these thought when they come? Then the anxiety comes where i think should i go for a walk or not, but i can't walk all the time and i just want to relax in the evenings, this is just so hard.

 

I am so sorry you are getting intrusive thoughts, that has been one of my worst withdrawal symptoms

 

You can try to distract yourself, by doing something that keeps your mind busy.

You can try to talk back to the thoughts, and tell them they are not real and can not hurt you.

You can see them as a sign that your brain is healing (funny way for it to show it, eh?) and try to accept them, knowing that they will go away in time.

 

it is very hard, I know!

do you have the feeling that you need to keep moving?

 

I hope that things are much better for you tomorrow.

don't lose hope, things can change and get better very quickly sometimes in withdrawal

 

I've been finding that my worst days are often followed by a really good one, or at least one that's a LOT better, so hold on to hope ok?

 

Thank you  so much for your answer :) Yes it is very hard, and you are right some days they are not as intense at the moment, im glad its a sign my brain healing though, all these thoughts are so weird. Another thing i have is that i constantly thinking about "will I get over this?" "what is this now?" and so on its like i don't have room for anything other than my health, and i keep asking my dad all the time "Do you think i get over this" or "will I be better tomorow"  like i can't think rationally or logic, like an obsessive thought, is this normal? Sometimes yes i get the feeling that I have to keep moving or do something or else i won't get better, stuff like that.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9671-intrusive-thoughts-and-increased-panic/

 

There's a lot of good discussion in this thread that you'll hopefully find reassuring.  I skimmed through, and saw people with similar thoughts that you have, telling them they 'should' do things, and get the anxiety too.  You might find some ideas for dealing with it too - though Catnapt has given you a good list for starters. 

Thank you Karen i will read through that. Yes that was some good ideas. 

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

Link to post

Lately i've been having all these memories popping up in my head a lot, its been very intense this last period, where I remember things from my childhood, experiences i've had as a kid or some years ago, and these things just come out of the blue, and it can be quite overwhelming at times, because I have no idea why I suddenly remember all those things, and sometimes i get a little sad, but also frightened cause it feels so weird. What could this be? Could it be a good sign? It feels like stuff is happening with my memory.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialise much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to GirlfromD: insomnia

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