Roxyrich: adverse reaction to prozac

[Christian]

Absolute fatigue. keep dropping off ,only to be jerked awake after 2 minutes.

Also dreams and flashbacks as soon as I drop off.has anyone else experienced this.

It's torture.

[Christian]

Every day!!

[AliG]

Hi Roxy.  I'm sorry you're still struggling.  Can I ask what you were put on  Propranolol, for ?  As far as the sleep goes , this is a very common withdrawal symptom. Have a look at these links :   They might help , somewhat.

Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have withdrawal insomnia

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

Melatonin for sleep

 

It is temporary, but no one can say for how long. I do understand , as I suffer from severe insomnia , as well. It can take time .

Ali

[Djones1984]

Yes I experienced all the above and it does go away with time. I am sorry u are going through this.

[Roxyrich]

Hi Christian, no luckily the fatigue thing happens about twice a week. It's just starting to feel better. I think a lot of people seem to feel better in the evening.

[Roxyrich]

Hi Ali ,I was put on propanalol after the first 2 weeks of c/t,to help control the physical side of anxiety. I think it works although I have had some days where it was really bad.

I keep thinking about tapering, but I'm still too raw.I take 40g split throughout the day. The only thing is I have some good days and nights, so my train of thought says if their hurting me, why only sometimes. over thinking maybe? .

[Roxyrich]

Cheers dj.I was thinking of buying some melatonin, but I'm scared of becoming reliant on it.or maybe a reaction.

[Christian]

Hey Roxy,

It seems like your symptoms aren't constant. There are Windows and waves. That is excellent. It may mean you will be ok sooner than you fear it will take. Many of us don't have Windows at all so the recovery timeline is even more unknown. We all will get better.

[Roxyrich]

Cheers Christian, yeah I do get waves and windows, I just need to be careful in my windows not to overdo it.it's generally my sleep that causes me grief , hopefully it will return to normal soon.

Wishing you big fat windows .

[crhawk]

Roxy!  I was originally on Propranolol 3 times/day...twice during my journey.  During the second round, I developed severe insomnia.  I discovered it was from the Propranolol!  My psych kind of looked at me strange when I asked if that could be the culprit, but I knew it had to be either that or the klonopin.  I did extensive research and found that it could cause this, but isn't exactly common.  Maybe see if you can take your doses earlier in the day...if that is ok with your doc.  As soon as I cut the third dose, my sleep improved shortly thereafter.  I eventually tapered off the Propanolol completely because I didn't think I needed it anymore and due to the insomnia.  That effect went away hugely when I was off of it (and even when reducing).

 

I am now having other sleeping issues from my constant crippling anxiety...and yes, when I do nod off, I will immediately wake back up, sometimes in a panic, sometimes will dream immediately and wake up, or just in and out of dreams...its awful.  But I am currently taking Xanax and that usually gives me at least 4 hours that feel somewhat solid.  Scared when I will no longer have that crutch...

[Roxyrich]

Hi cr.the only thing with stopping the propranolol, is it keeps my anxiety under control. also I sometimes sleep 6hrs plus.

But your right, some of the side effects incude insomnia.

I slept really well last night, but here I am typing this at 3.47am .

I seem to have 1 bad night followed by a good night.

Im hoping I'll eventually be able to sleep every night. I guess Im luckier than some who can't sleep at all.I just don't feel that lucky.

[crhawk]

I understand.  It helped get me through two previous waves and I have considered getting back on that regimen to get me through this one which has lasted over a month and is pure hell.

 

I just wonder what would happen if you were able to just drop the 4th dose...take it three times daily, and the last dose not after a certain time.  Maybe someone more experienced can weigh in on this...I'm obviously not a doctor...and would hate to have you lose any progress...but I would think it might be worth a shot.

 

Like I said, even when I dropped the Propranolol to twice daily (did not take the second pill past 2 pm), it helped substantially. 

[Djones1984]

Just wanted to drop in and say hi and hopefully you get a good night of sleep!

[Roxyrich]

Thanks guys,no sleep tonight, depression eating me up.am just hanging on.

Yeah I've been thinking about the 4th dose which I usually have in the middle of the night. If I sleep through I sometimes miss it anyway. I'll give it some thought. I just want to turn the corner, and start feeling better. Feels like this is my life now.

[AliG]

Roxy . Can you please update your Sig ?    7 doses / 20 mg . What dates ? How long have you been on Propranolol 10 mg , 4 X a day ?  The more information available , the more help you can receive.

Did you  have a read , around?  Links?  Were they any help ?

I'm sure you will turn the corner, in time, but no one knows how long it will take, unfortunately . In the meantime , if you can read around , you will find a lot of useful info .

Ali

[Roxyrich]

Hi , alig. I put my details in my signature when I joined. I'll go back and update it.

Yeah I've checked out a lot of links and threads.some of them are helpful but others scare me.it's the near constant suicidal thoughts that scare me. When it hits hard I just want to die. I've never been like this and I know it's the w/d but I have to try so hard to fight it.

Sorry to burden you with my troubles, just need to vent.

How do you cope, you've been here so long. How do you occupy your time.

I can't see any progress. I have but my mind is playing tricks on me.I darent tell anyone about how I feel. Is all this normal?.

[Roxyrich]

Thanks for the kind words dj.

[AliG]

Roxy R.  I've been through the same. Most of us have .It's not easy. You do have to fight it and realize  that " it's just temporary"  !   It doesn't seem that long , in one way and yet on the other hand, it seems forever. I don't seem to get a lot done these days. I used to paint ,travel , work , see friends and workout at the gym  . I was an active Mum  ( in the day )  but my kids are adults now. I managed to make it through , on the drugs. Obviously, it was not perfect , but I managed. I just wish I had known then what was going on. I didn't realize that I was always , either having side - effects, from the drugs, or in withdrawal !  I feel I've been in withdrawal for twenty years . LOL.  

It seems like each day is an eternity , right now. I just try to get through the day, and night , as well as I can. I try to help here, if I can and I research a lot . I get very angry , at times over what has been perpetrated on us , but I try to put that into some kind of positive action. It's not much , but it helps. 

Your mind is always playing tricks , in withdrawal. It is normal .

Ali

[Roxyrich]

Thanks Ali. One day at time then.I'll just not try to think too far ahead.

Some of my physical symptoms are slightly easier to handle, but the depressive thoughts chill me to the bone.

Like while today I'm in a wave it's mostly fatigue and exhaustion, but it's like a dark cloud decends and no amount of distraction helps.luckily that seems to come and go.so I've started telling myself it is what it is and it will pass.

I hope with time I actually believe this.

[AliG]

R.  I understand. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I hope it won't be too long for you . Distraction , is good. Try not to dwell, too much , if you can possibly help it.       It's windows and waves.

[Colonial]

you wrote:  Absolute fatigue. keep dropping off ,only to be jerked awake after 2 minutes.  Also dreams and flashbacks as soon as I drop off.has anyone else experienced this.  It's torture.

 

Hi buddy     Torture really is the correct word for it.  Especially because you CAN'T sleep.  Normally, if you're sick, you can take a nice cup of tea and sleep it off.  But, when you have all these horrible symptoms and have to be conscious, the days seem like weeks and weeks literally seems like months, because they are in a very real sense.  If you could normally sleep 8 hours and now only 2, that's almost another full day conscious for every 2 regular days.... I'm on calendar day 34, if think, myself... think it was 6 weeks last time...Serenity now..   Your in my prayers.

[Roxyrich]

Hi colonial.I guess your having the same problem with sleep. are you having any good night's, what's the best hours you've had so far.

[Colonial]

Normally, I would sleep about 8 hours.  Luckily, I am able to get at least 6.5, sometimes 7 the past 2 weeks but not always.  I'm usually able to fall asleep between 1 and 2am, but then I'm up with a startle around 7ish, and then it's a struggle  try to "trick" myself into falling back to sleep.  Bu, sometimes I can't fall asleep until 3, or I may be up by 5.  What annoys me the most is the muscle aches and the difficulty thinking, and the "neuro- emotions",  What I have found interesting is that as the weeks go by the symptoms seem to change.  Have you noticed that?  I have also found that "distracting" myself is key, as AliG said.  When the muscle aches are worse, I have to walk it off, call someone on the phone, or, come type in someone else's thread.!   Have you found anything that helps distract you through the rough spots?

[Roxyrich]

I'm, glad you're getting some sleep, though like me it doesn't sound great.

Distraction is one of the things I struggle with when it gets bad.I usually get out of bed, and walk my dog with my girlfriend. Then I sit in front of the TV with my phone on this site, till about 2 in the afternoon.

I do some housework if I'm able, but I force myself out of the house every day, and visit someone. It's gotten a bit routine but manageable.

About the symptoms, mine are different nearly every day, I think that's what so scary.do you get waves and windows in an even pattern, or randomly. Mine are one ok day, one or 2 bad days.I think a lot of people on here would think I was lucky to get some relief, but it's weird, as time goes on you ruin the windows worrying about the waves.do you have intrusive thoughts? How do you deal with them ? .

[Colonial]

The first couple weeks from when the symptoms start is the worst, then week 3-5 seem to have periods of the day where I can function better.  I am usually up around 8am, and the worst time is between 4pm and 8pm.  If I'm going to have a rough time, it happens then.  That doesn't mean I don't have problems before then but it's more manageable. The neurological issues will usually happen then, as well as the difficulty thinking.  So for me that's the "danger" time, shouldn't be driving, cooking, etc. Today is the last day of the 5th week for me, which started on 1/7 after a med drop on 12/27.  But then, I just had a stressful and violent incident on sunday, which I think set my nervous system back a bit as I've been worse for longer periods of the day sense then. 

 

I think, at least for me, the only way to deal with the worrisome thoughts about upcoming waves, is to remember that we really only have today, or even these few hours.  That none of us are promised tomorrow and to find meaningful ways to enjoy the moment and this day, without "wasting" it by dreaming of a "perfect life" that in reality, will never come for any of us. That the suffering I have gone through has helped me appreciate what cancer and chemo patients deal with, the very same patterns for other reasons. That we forget that we are all born with a "death sentence", none of us are going to live forever, and some of us have precious little time to begin with. That  life will continue to throw suffering at us in one form or another and will we "choose" to become better people or allow it to defeat us by making us bitter and resentful by those who "allowed" this to happen to us.  In the end, we are the only ones who can defeat us.  It really is our choice.

 

Ok, I'm rambling at this point.  Lol    I have just seen, here at least, a rash of deaths of young people who will NEVER open their eyes again.  I may suffer intensely for 3 or 4 hours, but that still gives me all the other hours of the day where the symptoms are still there but tolerable. What am I doing with those other hours?  Am I accomplishing anything f significance for myself or for others?  Or an I just sitting around feeling sorry for myself?  Biding time until I feel better until I can go back to 'wasting" my life just living for useless pleasures? Wasting the remaining time of my life that I do have?  What this has done, is forced me to answer the question:  "What am I really living for"?   Is there a reason to continue to struggle through this and not kill myself?"  

 

When times are good, we live on auto pilot, rarely taking a moment to reflect on why we are alive and what we "should" be doing.  We "waste" so much of our lives on frivolity and useless trinkets.  But then prolonged periods of intense suffering come, in whatever form, we really have to take measure of ourselves.  I have seem cancer patients accomplish more in the 3 hours they are "functioning" than young healthy people do in an entire year.

 

So for me, the question becomes, what do I REALLY want to do with my life if I get through this?  Do I just want to go back to who I was and what I was doing?  

 

If you can answer that, and have a dream or goal for who you really want to be once you get through this, you will have found the strength to get through everyday.

 

Have a good day buddy, you're in my prayers!

[Roxyrich]

Wow,you must have been doing this a while. I wish I could be as philosophical, but I'm quite new to this. As a consequence, I spend a lot of time being scared.

Tonight I think I've got dp.I think I've had it a couple of times. It seems to be triggered by low blood sugar levels. although I could be wrong.

Ever since my reaction, I've pretty much been hungry 24/7.if I get to hungry I get adrenaline rushes, so I try to not get too hungry. I'm Trying Really Hard To Keep A Goal In Sight , But It's hard to think I'll ever recover. sorry to be so gloomy.just not feeling myself.

Is it possible to get used to dp dr , or will it always freak me out.

Thanks again colonial for your wisdom and prayers.right back at you.

[Colonial]

"...Is it possible to get used to dp dr , or will it always freak me out..."

 

I'll have to apologise for not knowing what that is...       That's interesting about the adrenaline rush if you're hungry.  I wonder to what extent men having more testosterone than women interacts with the body to give different symptoms, like maybe adrenaline.  I know for me too many carbs or sugar in the afternoon sets me up for anxiety or a weird "trance like- sleep paralysis" hour where I'm conscious but not really while in bed.  Truly frightening. (Well, they always said, sugars not good for ya!)   

 

And I don't think your gloomy, I think you're just in the initial phase of panic dealing with something so new and frightening like I was in July when my CNS really crashed that first time.   What becomes tricky, is the initial and, quite legitimate, anxiety concerning it, can, if your not careful turn into fear, depression and self pity.  Where that line is will be different for each of us.  But they become a self perpetuating negative cycle that will make the process worse.  I have to constantly remind myself:  "If it hasn't killed you by now, it probably won't", remind myself the wave will pass, and distract myself until it does.  The best advice I can give is to NOT make any important decisions while in a wave if you can help it.  Now... It's 5:34... I feel my afternoon wave coming on... so.. I am gonna go walk the pooch...  

Talk to ya later buddy!   

[Roxyrich]

Thanks colonial, I'm off to bed.

[Roxyrich]

That was probably my worst night,since this nightmare began. woke after 2 hours sleep. then massive hunger, huge anxiety, and burning forearms. I'm wondering if I over did things earlier today. I humped a weight machine plus all the weights to my car then to the recycling site.

Also wondering if sunlight hurts me .it seems every time I'm in the sun I feel bad that night. I guess I'm scrambling for answers but who wants to hurt like this.

[Roxyrich]

Dp dr is depersonalisation derealisation .where you don't feel like anything is real.it's very scary.

There's some information on this site about it.

[AliG]

RR,

You're overthinking this !  Relax, Calm.  Meditate .  Chill !

Ali

[Roxyrich]

I'm trying Ali. One day at a time.

[AliG]

You're doing well, Richie.  What are you struggling with right now ?

[Roxyrich]

Hi Ali. It started last night, I had a really good day,then last night got really hungry and my head felt ditached, so I had something to eat but didn't feel any better. But it's a night where I meet some friends, and I forced myself to go.I got back home hungry again, so I ate a snack before bed.went to bed and fell asleep straight away. woke 2 hours later with waves of anxiety. After that I had a snack and couldn't sleep again.

Even so didn't get out of bed till 10.30am feels like the flu.this waves a beauty.

[AliG]

This can feel  like  S ...!  but you have to keep going . What are your symptoms , now, ?  How are you feeling ?

Ali

[Roxyrich]

Hi Ali. Still rough , but letting it do its thing.I've had the same waves as this before, but last night was slightly different. I didn't panic, so I didn't get the adrenaline and weak legs.I'm wondering if im getting better at acceptance. I'm still trying to get my head around loosing my old life.and maybe many more months of recovery.