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Bellisimo My whole story, from hell to heaven! There IS hope. (warning: Long)


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❤❤❤❤

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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My goodness what an inspiration story. I'm so very happy for u. What frightens me is the distance I feel from family friends. Like I'm not here and I feel anxious fed up. I do get windows now but waves are regular. 10 months and feels like forever. I also look back at time years I've lost with my boys and feel sad. Try not to think and then just over think. I do hope I come out of it like u have. You very strong lady reading your story. Thank u so much for sharing. Xx

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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Thank you for sharing your story! All lycka till dig!

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Thank you for sharing your story! All lycka till dig!

Tack :)   :unsure:

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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My goodness what an inspiration story. I'm so very happy for u. What frightens me is the distance I feel from family friends. Like I'm not here and I feel anxious fed up. I do get windows now but waves are regular. 10 months and feels like forever. I also look back at time years I've lost with my boys and feel sad. Try not to think and then just over think. I do hope I come out of it like u have. You very strong lady reading your story. Thank u so much for sharing. Xx

I understand that feeling. I isolate myself alot before when I were in bad shape. I couldnt meet any friends or family and i was bascially just staying indoors.. it was an awful time. I really hope you will feel better soon. 

Btw and after  I got better and better and healed more and more I could start hangout with friends/family again.

I wish you all luck 

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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Hi !

Thanks for telling your story. It gives me hope !

Grégory.

- 2002 -> 2012 Paxil, 20 mg for anxiety

- January 2012 : 1 month withdrawal -> depression, burning sensations in my legs

- February 2012 : reinstate 20 mg -> back to normal

- January 2014 -> August 2015 : « alternate days » tapering from 20mg to 2,5 mg -> anxiety, back pain and trouble focusing

- 4 september 2015 -> panic attack, psychiatric hospital for 1 week, stop Paxil, get Clomipramine, Abilify, Domperidone for 2 weeks, then stop everything

- 20 september 2015 try to reinstate Paxil 20 mg -> permanent tinnitus with only one tablet

- Free from paxil since september 2015 ->suffering from permanent side effects : tinnitus, hyperacusis, neuropathic pain, prostatitis, depression, suicidal ideations, akathisia.

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Can I just ask. Did the buzzing in your head disappear too?

I head to reread your story again. It's just amazing that you feel recovered by now after this horrible situation. You are so worth feeling good, continuing with your life.

--- A buzzing head has followed me thru the whole taper, that's why I ask. It's so annoying.

Take care!

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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I started to write letters to every single person that i cared about, telling them that my time has come and i wont be here for so much longer. Then i laid down and i cried and i prepared for death.

that period was something that i didnt even existed. I went thru my life, started to regret stuff that i had done while i was "living a good life" i tried to make up by calling ppl that i loved , saying sorry , and stuff like that.

and then i waited, in my bed .. for death.

 

Congrats bellismo,

 

Thats exactly how i feel now about death .

 

What a strang world that pills can do that big change in my life .

 

I m looking for one day to also write my success story for quitting all these poisons .

 

Congrats bellismo . I hope you ll have great.life

Alcohol for 10 years then benzo for 6 months to help with alcohol then psychosis , and took esctiolpram 20 mg and sulipride 200 mg . quit date 17 -12 -2015

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I started to write letters to every single person that i cared about, telling them that my time has come and i wont be here for so much longer. Then i laid down and i cried and i prepared for death.

that period was something that i didnt even existed. I went thru my life, started to regret stuff that i had done while i was "living a good life" i tried to make up by calling ppl that i loved , saying sorry , and stuff like that.

and then i waited, in my bed .. for death.

Congrats bellismo,

 

Thats exactly how i feel now about death .

 

What a strang world that pills can do that big change in my life .

 

I m looking for one day to also write my success story for quitting all these poisons .

 

Congrats bellismo . I hope you ll have great.life

 

I wish you all the best <3 whenever you need to talk or share some thoughts you can just PM me . 

take care

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

I hope one day I can have your success. It would be so nice to just live. I tried pming you but I think maybe you haven't been on here. It's so crazy reading people's success stories because when you are in wd you can't see anything past that and everyday feels like Im just exhisting the best way I can. I hope you are still doing well. Thanks for coming back and updating. People like me (I feel obsessed with all these symptoms) need something encouraging to read.

Panic attacks-Prozac 20mg 4 years

Effexor 75mg approx 9 years

Effexor to Zoloft 25 mg approx almost 2 weeks

Also used very low dose of Valium 1 mg sometimes 2x a day for anxiety for a month during medication changes.

Zoloft to Celexa 10 mg approx a week

Celexa to Prozac 10 mg for approx 5 weeks

Weaned off Prozac 10-5-2.5 mg

As of 1-8-2016 off everything

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Like so many others have said, THANK YOU for sharing your story. I think it's amazing that while you would probably like to just forget about the whole thing and move on, you've come back here to share your message of hope with others. Your story sounds a lot like mine (except I started sertraline and a benzo specifically for panic attacks). But I got off about two years ago and then wow, did things go bad! I got back on, but the meds don't work as well (which I have found out is common). This time I'm getting off much more slowly! It's difficult having the patience to go slowly.

My suggestions are not medical advice. They are my opinions based on my own experience, strength and hope.

You are in charge of your own medical / healing / recovery choices.

My success story |  My introduction thread

 

ZOLOFT FREE - COMPLETELY DRUG FREE 4/28/2019! - total time on 28+ years

BENZO FREE! 4/7/2018 - total time on 27+ years

REMERON FREE! 12/11/2016 - total time on 15 months

Caffeine & Nicotine Free 2014 / 2015 - smoked for 28 years

Alcohol Free 4/1/2014 - drank for 30 years

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  • 5 months later...

an update! 

 

For a while back I had another period of symtoms, sadly. 
Doc have now found in  my bloodtests, I have B12 deficiency, lack of D vitamin and lack of potassium.. This may be the cause of the symtoms and the b12 defienncy is prolly because of the huuuuge stress ive been thru since i stopped my ssri.

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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Hi Bellisimo,

 

I'm very sorry about the new hiccup!

I would think it's still not totally unexpected after such a huge shock. I must be one of the final fine tunes that your body needs to make. I believe it's short lived and self limiting. Please keep calm and just wait for it to pass quietly.

 

Wish you peace,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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an update! 

 

For a while back I had another period of symtoms, sadly. 

Doc have now found in  my bloodtests, I have B12 deficiency, lack of D vitamin and lack of potassium.. This may be the cause of the symtoms and the b12 defienncy is prolly because of the huuuuge stress ive been thru since i stopped my ssri.

sorry for that... what symptoms did you had? were they similar to the ones from withdrawal? do you think it's a wave, or just the vitamines deficiency thing?

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

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I would say this is vitamin deficieny. D and B play huge roles and I'm sure they can mimic WD symptoms. Or like Lex said, this could be the final tunes.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm 19 mo that and still having loads waves windows. How you feeling g now Bellagio? I know you had setback hope you back on track. How long been off xx

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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I'm so happy for you Bellisimo you are my inspiration. I am suffering greatly like you did with daily bouts of confusion and blackouts and I'm not even off the meds yet. Where you are now is where I want to be.

2005-2015 sertaline, 2015 to November 2018 escatalopram. Used liquid titration to drop doses. By 0.5mg at first then drops as small as 0.01mg at end of taper. Jumped of at 0.02mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

How are you getting on dear xxx hope better. I'm having a two week wave but before that had really good days. Struggling now. Called doctor and she arranging blood tests and 24 hour urine test hormones. Fingers crossed get answers x

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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  • 2 weeks later...

How you feeling? Hope back to norm? I'm 20 months still getting waves windows. They testing hormones now x

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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Really fantastic to hear a success story!! I want to be AD free in one years time. I have had enough of medication. It hasn't helped at all over the years. I want to become myself again, at any cost. I wish I could have done this years ago as I am now 46. I know how hard it will be as tried and failed many times to come off them. But reading this gives me HOPE. Many thanks Bellisimo

Been on various SSRI's since early 1990's. Prozac, mirtazapine, citalopram, Effexor to name a few.

Cymbalta 60mg for last 5 years.

Over 20 years of medication without breaks.

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Thanks everyone! Tonight is a night were I just lay in my bed and  feel so good. My body is so calm , my breathing is so calm, Im listen to reaxed music and I feel so calm and im thinking back of the past two and a half years and i feel so proud over myself.. And this feeling "when you can lay in your bed relaxed and enjoy" is so wonderful. In my first year in w/d I coudlnt really lay still in bed, many times as soon as I was about to relax my body wanted to run away. I wanted to sleep but my body wanted to jump out of bed.. and wake me up as soon as I fell asleep. I remember two years ago, i was thinking to myself,

" How could I take it for granted? to lay in a bed relaxed, being able to sleep.. " And I was scared that this feeling would never come back.. 

And tonight im laying here feeling blessed and so thankful that "this feeling" did come back and iam so enjoying every single second of it.

 

- Feeling good :wub:  -_- 

 

 

so very happy for you!!

this is what I am hoping for, I've been unable to sleep for 18 mos now and I am glad to see that sleep will finally return, and be as good as I remember and imagine it will be. Ah yes, how did I ever take that for granted, as well?

 

Good for you!!! thank you so much for sharing this, it gives me much hope and will help me get thru the next "how ever many" months before this happens for me.

:)

 

regarding your low potassium, do you take magnesium? taking too much magnesium may lower your potassium, I think.

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • Aug 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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Junglechicken

Gives me hope too, thank you Bellissimo....... :)

 

As it is, these drugs claim so much time from us - its wonderful that you are happier and living and appreciating every moment.  Its like a re-birth.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

 

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)

Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018

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  • 4 months later...

How are you feeling now? I'm 2 years and get lots good days and then BANG nwgative crying anxious the next day bette. Now trying primrose oil. X

May 2003 prozac for six months after having first child. Came off taper slow. No withdrawals.

December 2009 10mg citalopram after second child.

January 2010 up to 20mg kinda helped. Not much.

July 2010 taper off within a month.

Side affects of tiredness tears. Doctor said I depressed still.

Oct 2010 Went back doctor they put me on sertraline 20mg and went to cbt therapy. Doctor kept upping it as wasn't feeling better to 200mg.

December 2014 felt better started to reduce by 4 tablets to 3 then to 2 then 1 and half. Four five weeks gap between. Stopped at 25mg in April 2015.7 months no meds.

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  • 1 year later...

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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On 4/27/2014 at 8:26 PM, Bellisimo said:

I still cannot consider myself as a fully recovery story, I have a long way to get there i belive BUT i will tell you all that for a few months ago i could never even imagine i would feel like this today.. Im much better ..

The thing that was worrying me the MOST was the bad memory i had and i forgot things all the time and had massive blackouts and was SOO confused, i can tell you that this is almost completly gone, also my feeling of loosing my half body and indentity, i havent suffer from those things in a few months now..

and THAT means so much for me that im not atleast going demental lol

 

Soon its 9 months free, i feel SO PROUD what a journey!!

Joy to my ears!!! Also, suffering memory issues.

 

So wonderful you are experiencing this. These words are like a melody to the ears!

1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse manic reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     

2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante
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17 hours ago, Bellisimo said:

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

 

This is amazing and gave me so much hope: your story is so valuable and has definitely helped me. Thank you for coming back to post!

2012: 2 weeks of paroxetine, I cannot recall the dose. Strong side effects, stopped cold turkey, had intense, horrible withdrawal thereafter

2012 to 2016: Fluoxetine 40mg daily, sometimes 20mg daily, a couple of bad tapers under doctor's advisement, increasingly bad withdrawal symptoms with each major dose change

Oct 2016 to June 2017: 10-month reinstatement of 20mg fluoxetine daily to stabilize. A very difficult period but withdrawal gradually improved

July 2017: At 20mg (100%), started a linear tapering regimen using water titration (20mg fluoxetine into 300ml of water).

June 2019: Currently at 0.200mg (1.00%). I have many symptoms, most I attribute to fluoxetine, some to withdrawal, and the rest to hypothyroidism. Continuing to reduce anyway.

July 2019: Jumped from 0.066mg (0.33%) to 0.000mg (0.00%); I'm now free of the poison.

 

My introduction thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14226-kittygiggles-generic-prozac-fluoxetine-stabilization/

 

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21 hours ago, Bellisimo said:

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

Congrats were youvstill bad with symptoms at 14 months out?? 

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Hello, if someone can answer this I’d appreciate it. How long was Bellisimo on meds and what was the taper or was it cold turkey? I have been trying to figure this out but can’t.

2009- started lexapro at 10mg, could not manage so went down to 5 mg a couple weeks later I think 

(somewhere along the lines I dropped to 2.5mg not actually sure when)

2014 summer- CT’d 2.5mg

2015 winter- reinstated lexapro 2.5mg

2017 dec- CT’d lexapro 2.5 mg

2018 beginning of may- reinstated lexapro 2.5mg- stopped CT after 6 days because of extreme adverse reaction and side effects 

2018 end of may In hospital- 2 doses of 10 mg Prozac, 1 dose  remeron 7.5mg, a couple doses of vistaril, klonopin not sure dosage and 1.5 weeks of beta blockers 

 

In addition may 2018- used Xanax .0125mg prn maybe 2-3 times a week for about 2-3 weeks 

 

last p drug  was .0125mg Xanax May 31st 2018

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On 10/19/2018 at 3:02 PM, Fighter33 said:

Hello, if someone can answer this I’d appreciate it. How long was Bellisimo on meds and what was the taper or was it cold turkey? I have been trying to figure this out but can’t.

I was on the meds for 6 years and was tapering for about a year. I tried docs schedule a few times but i ended back on meds everytime so I told doc i will taper it very slowly and for a longer of time he said ok. It worked for me, still withdrawal hit me pretty bad but I got really sick if i was tapering too quick. 

2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg)

2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.
2013/aug: Took  my last pill 

W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine.

2014/August: 12 months off (much improved)

2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.)

2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling!

2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 
2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through!

 

 

 

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On 10/18/2018 at 4:03 PM, Bellisimo said:

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

This is just great news :) thank you for keeping us updatet.

2010 - 2015: 50mg Sertraline, 30mg Mirtazapine.

2015 - 2016: Last dose Mirtazapine 28.11.2015 and Sertraline 04.01.2016. (6 months taper)

2016/June: 6 months off. Feeling better but a lot of symptoms, name one and i have it.

2016/Dec: 12 months off. Hit a very bad wave, can't function at this moment, isolate and many intense symptoms. Very intense heart palpitations and very intense anxiety.

2017/June: 18 months off. Things are better, experiencing a lot of flashbacks, walking everyday.

2017/Nov: Things have finally started to improve and i'm now much better than a year ago, starting to feel a lot of improvements, but still symptoms that come in waves and windows.  

2018/June: Feeling better. Starting to do some normal things again, but still some improvements needed. All symptoms still there, just less intense.

2018/Oct: Almost 3 years off. Symptoms are milder and more manageable, but lots of anger issues at the moment. Still some depersonalization etc. Heart palpitations almost gone. There's hope.

2021/april: 5 years and 3 months off. Symptoms less intense, but still struggling, still not able to socialize much, very tired, i just want to feel normal again. In a tough and awful wave.

 

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On 10/18/2018 at 10:03 AM, Bellisimo said:

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

Thank you for mentioning the crying part. I am crying so much these days-sobbing at least twice a day.  

 

Even though I know its withdrawal, it was making me concerned.  It's good to know that it stopped with you.  

 

 

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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JackieDecides
On 10/18/2018 at 7:03 AM, Bellisimo said:

Iam now 5years free from this drug and doing just fine. I have been fine since 2016. 
Not much to mention and I cant remember last time I cried, I used to cry alot and had this intense fear of what was going on. 
Not anymore. 


 

I am so glad for you, Bellisimo, this is the first thread I have read through since joining this forum because I am looking for this kind of example. I stopped Lexapro last May and had much less WD than you (I was on a tiny dose) but still expecting it to be awhile til I am whatever normal turns out to look like. 

so thank you for sharing! 😍

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • 2 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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