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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Romina, 

How are you doing? 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Hi Sarah!

I'm fine thanks. How are you ? :)

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator

Monkeyman to the rescue.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

All right thanks! :)  :wub:

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Haha thx monkeyman ;)

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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SkyBlue <3

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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I just had a ahorrible panic attack.. Felt like I was back in July /august in withdrawals.. I started freaking ouy and feeling i was there again and i cried more and more and it just proved the fact i was there again i couldnt breathe properly.. and i feel like i dont know how to not be afraid.. Becausewhat if i really was sick and it will come back? If it wasnt withdrawals? I try to convince myself it was but then i start thinking 1

. I had bad ocd before I starred at 15 with meds,

 

but i got better in time not instantly with the meds!

 

But you were real sick so it was you the real you

Right now its back. Your back

 

But i feel like meds cant turn a calm hapoy person into a freak that cant even stand noises and has panic all day scared of everything angry etc.

But what if they did?noway you had that long withdrawls

See, that proves you are ocd and sick and it was the real you!!

 

It goea on and on. Yeah i know its ocd. Plz ignore this i just need to vent :( i feel trapped like scares of myself ... I wish i could stop but its too scsry.. I think seeing a few pics from that time triggered it.. Idk

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Romina , that voice in your head will try and make you doubt yourself.

 

Panic attacks may come but they always pass. Sometimes it can help to go outside , change the

environment. Try to distract yourself.

This is temporary , it isn;t "the real you" at all.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thanks Fresh :) . Maybe I have some kind of post traumatic stress because the flashback I had yesterday was very real, and I still feel anxious .. You see I live in the same small apartment where I had withdrawal and I remember what a hell it was..how I couldnt get out of bed because of how bad I felt physically the first weeks..and the horrible panic..I think about it every day and worry and sometimes I just break down. When I had withdrawal after 1-2 months of quitting my therapist said I have trauma symptoms. She thought It was from my childhood but I never had trauma symptoms before..so now Im thinking that maybe it was a traumatic response because of withdrawals

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator

It sounds like some redecorating therapy is in order.  Changing up the inside of the apartment  might help dispel some of the old memories.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Brassmonkey yeah,I've done that, its mostly my room that is the problem as it is really small ..maybe I could put my bed horizontally instead of vertically. Thanks for the tip :)

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator

New wall decorations, a different lamp, new duvet.  Changing the quality of the light will make a big difference.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Gonna do that , thx :)

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

But i feel like meds cant turn a calm hapoy person into a freak that cant even stand noises and has panic all day scared of everything angry etc.

But what if they did?noway you had that long withdrawls

See, that proves you are ocd and sick and it was the real you!!

 

It goea on and on. Yeah i know its ocd. Plz ignore this i just need to vent :(

 

 

Hello Romina sweetie,

 

1. Nope. Not going to ignore it. We care about you. 

2. YES, MEDS CAN turn a person (temporarily) into someone who can't stand noises, feels fear, angry, etc. They absolutely can. 

And in his book The Antidepressant Solution, Dr. Joseph Glenmullen calls it a "cruel irony" that med withdrawal will often look exactly like someone's original symptoms. 

When we go to our doctors to get help for withdrawal, they just end up prescribing more and more drugs, because they don't understand this. 

 

It seems absolutely clear that this is withdrawal -- but it is still awful. 

 

It might be helpful to keep track of symptoms, using the checklist at the bottom of DrGlenmullen.com's site. I find it very useful because he affirms that some symptoms mimic anxiety disorders and other conditions -- not that they are those things. 

 

<3 <3 <3 <3 Keep you in our thoughts! <3 <3 <3 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Aw,thanks Sarah <3 I am feeling better now :)

the panic attack I had came out of the blue and it was like I was "diassociating"or something like that, and that has never happened to me before , i think it has to do with the withdrawal being so traumatic for me.Ive been through a lot even though Im young , but withdrawal was by far the worst..mostly because none knew what was going on, doctors said my anxiety causes everything yeah even the brain zaps (...lol) and kept trying new meds on me and blaming every symptom on my anxiety..and told me stuff like:

"If you don't start with meds you might go psychotic because you have too much anxiety"

"Now you see you need meds, meds have only helped you, you say they have not but you are much worse off without meds"

"Your OCD is back with a vengeance, and its worse because you are older, you can't compare yourself with how you were before the meds"...

Ughhhhhhhh! I hate them.

Thanks for the tip btw, gonna check glenmullen's site , I think they sell that book on ebay :)

 

(((((hugs)))))

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

You bet, Romina. I am glad.   :wub:

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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So the truth is I had brain zaps when I had the panic attack and they wont go away even though its been 2 days and I feel better now. What is the problem? Withdrawal? Because its been 3 months feeling fine, so I dont think it came come back? Must be anxiety right? A traumatic reaction maybe. Feeling lost and trying not to frwak out but its hard...brain zaps mean maybe its mr and withdrawal it all my head like the doctors said.. Maybe Im just crazy idk. Whats going on .. I pray this goes away ewhtever it is, anxiety or WDs.. I cant live with this fear of it coming back.. I start behaving like before.. Exactly like before.. Ecen though it passed right now it feels like kts coming back because i have had two panic attacks in the last week... Im ocd and paranoid like 100% more since i withdraw'd, overanalyze everything fir example i try to convince myself it was WD and not me, that I am not like that to not bw afraid, over and over but it just wont work. Ihave ocd , i know, but how much? Is this OCD? Is it withdrawal? Why is there just a small group that have protracted withdrawals maybe I am not like them,because I really was sick before the meds just not tht bad. I camt talk to anyone about this they think im crazy.. I cant really defend myself cause I did have bad OCD and anxiety not just mild.. Thinking like this kills me but I cant stop. Whats wrong with mw .. I hope you have a good night guys im off to sleep now x

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

Link to comment

Btw are brain zaps the same as clicking sound in the brain? I thought it was the same.. I have like clicking sounds not like being electrocuted because it doesnt hurt , idk :) if someone knows about this it would be appreciated x

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Romina,

 

The drugs change our brains.  Understanding what the brain has to do to change back might help you not to worry so much about your symptoms.  If you can learn not to be so afraid of the symptoms your brain won't have to work so hard.  Dr Claire Weekes explains it as being secondary fear, or fear of the fear.  If you don't understand what is happening then the panic sets in and makes it all so much worse.

 

Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery

 

Brain Remodelling

 

This one is a bit more detailed but there are some explanations in it that might help.

 

Best Description of Healing Process

In response to your last post, I have had brain zaps without clicking.

 

Here is a link to Brain Zaps.  And a post about Zap Clicks:  brain-zaps/page-3#entry184430

 

If you want to find information on SA, it is best to use a search engine, for example Google, and type in survivingantidepressants.org and the topic you are looking for.  In this case I typed clicking.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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ChessieCat, thank you so much for taking the time to send me the links! Didn't know there was info about brain zaps and theres so much of it when you google the topic and then the SA url. Thanks!

 

Btw I like your name.I have a cat too. I was planning to put a pic of him as my profile pic so people can't recognize me by my photo because I was so smart and put my name(which is italian even though Im finnish so none has the same name here as far as I know) and my year of birth (95) lol, as my username :P

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

Link to comment

With multiple drugs and a history of drug changes and cold turkeys, all of this becomes even more complicated. And if a person is started on these kinds of drugs at an early age before the brain has ever completely established normal mature functioning--well, it can't be good. (All of which is why I recommend an extremely slow taper particularly to anyone with a multiple drug history, a history of many years on meds, a history of past cold turkeys or frequent med changes, and a history of being put on drugs at a young age.)

 

Wow, ALL those factors apply to me! :P

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

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Hi Romina,

I wish you to hang on !

I too like cats a lot, mine is called Tigrou : )

I have sometimes panic attacks, with hot flashes. That's very annoying when I'm with other peoples. I feel ashamed of that.

Brainzaps must be hard to endure, I hope you will get better !

Kiss.

- 2002 -> 2012 Paxil, 20 mg for anxiety

- January 2012 : 1 month withdrawal -> depression, burning sensations in my legs

- February 2012 : reinstate 20 mg -> back to normal

- January 2014 -> August 2015 : « alternate days » tapering from 20mg to 2,5 mg -> anxiety, back pain and trouble focusing

- 4 september 2015 -> panic attack, psychiatric hospital for 1 week, stop Paxil, get Clomipramine, Abilify, Domperidone for 2 weeks, then stop everything

- 20 september 2015 try to reinstate Paxil 20 mg -> permanent tinnitus with only one tablet

- Free from paxil since september 2015 ->suffering from permanent side effects : tinnitus, hyperacusis, neuropathic pain, prostatitis, depression, suicidal ideations, akathisia.

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Aww Hisame , my cat name's Casper :)

Yeah panic attacks suck, specially when other people notice..

Thanks for your kind words <3 hugs!!!

2011~ lexapro 40-60 mg (mom,why didn't you stop me I was 15..)

2013~ prozac 40mg ,seroquel 25mg (here we go poop-out and merry-go-round!

2014~ paxil 40mg, seroquel 100mg (thanks psych ward for the benzo trial and WD too)

2015~ (worst year of my life):

- basically CT'd from paxil (40 to 20mg in one day,then 10 then 0 in one month total)

and seroquel (cold turkey) in May, horrible withdrawals with every decrease. I said " well Imma ride this out", yeah right.. Two weeks off I couldn't take it anymore.

- Drs. Lab rat( they tried prozac,lexapro,also for a few days cymbalta,venlafaxine,and for anxiety olanzapine and different doses seroquel)

- started wellbutrin (which "cured" my by then 1/2 year withdrawal in a few days,what?)

2016~zoloft 100mg,wellbutrin 300mg,seroquel 50mg

I hope to be med-free one day,I started at such a young age so, Who am I? No idea. :)

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Romina,

 

Are you getting any relief from the brain zaps? That sounds so scary. That is definitely a symptom of withdrawal. 

 

It doesn't help that you feel (understandably) that you can't talk to anyone about it. Doctors don't seem to understand. 

 

Hang in there…. 

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Mentor

Hello Romina    how are you?                  

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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