Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 8, 2017 Moderator Share Posted December 8, 2017 Hi Sky-- it's wonderful to hear that things are going so well. All those coping skills will come in handy even after recovery is over. Having the SI cropping up every few weeks is a bummer, hopefully that will start to fade away pretty soon as you get into the last part of your taper. It won't be long now. (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Blondiee1915 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Hi SkyBlue ! I have missed you ! So happy to hear from you. Glad things are going fairly well. I am sorry to hear that you still have SI but I am positive that with time they will dissapear. And I do believe that coping skills do help with that . You are amazing for being determined and strong during this process and do think it is paying off . You are doing great <3 Hugs ! B 04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM 03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM 01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon 12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016 Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16 Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 9, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 9, 2017 Thank you, Gridley, Brass, and Blondie for the kind and encouraging words. I really appreciate it!!! <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 11, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 11, 2017 Friends, I have a question: Tomorrow I see my dr for (hopefully) Paxil refills. I understand that if I can't get refills from her, I can go to another prescriber. My question is, will the new prescriber request records from this prescriber? (like, "Why are you asking me for Paxil? This doctor said you need to be off Paxil.") This feels soooo much more stressful than it needs to be. Thank goodness for my toolbox of skills, and for all of your support. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
AliG Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Skyblue, Good luck for tomorrow ~ I hope you don't run into any unforeseen problems with your doctor. Have you read these links : it may help. Please let us know how you go and keep up the good work! What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms? How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal? Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 13, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 13, 2017 Thanks Ali! I used a phrase from one of the threads you mentioned: "I'd like to see how I do…" (then proposed my plan, taper off during the next few months), so I have a couple of refills for now at least. Going to catch my breath for a minute and then look for a different provider--as Alto said above, it seems that any doctor can prescribe Paxil. This doesn't feel 100% honest, but then again neither is a profession that prescribes dependence-inducing medications then expects them to come off of them more quickly than their central nervous systems allow. Also got a bonus prescription (::eye roll::) for something to help relax me. Sure, that sounds great. I'll take it. (Brass, I'm reminded of your doctor who still thinks you're on 60 mg Paxil and a Seroquel as well). So, I was strategic, and will continue to be strategic. <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted December 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 13, 2017 Congratulations, Sky, very savvy. Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 14, 2017 Moderator Share Posted December 14, 2017 Well played Sky. Building up a small backlog of drugs is a good way to take control of the situation. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
AmyK Posted December 14, 2017 Share Posted December 14, 2017 Well done, Sky. Thinking of you and just want to cheer you on. Hugs! Amy Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 14, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 14, 2017 Thank you, Gridley, Brass, and Amy! <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 29, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 29, 2017 Hello friends, Happy new year to everyone. I am down to 0.54 mg! I did some calculations and that is less than one percent (0.07%) of the highest dose I was on (60 mg). I have gotten 99.3% of the Paxil out of my system*. WOW!!!!! (*If you're new to this forum, please know that "getting the drug out of your system" needs to be done extremely carefully. I don't want my excitement to carry with it any implied urgency, time-wise.) December, as expected and despite using strategies (light box, exercise, yoga, nutrition, fish oil, therapy), was difficult and I did continue to have the rage and suicidality on several days. However, I had my first Christmas Eve in four years where I did not feel extremely depressed and (falsely) suicidal. To explain the gratitude and joy I felt for that would need volumes. Somehow it lined up that my suicidal/depression feelings were *not* on Christmas. What a blessing. Hope you all are well. Next week I start making my plan to visit a new doctor and ask for a refill of liquid Paxil. For now, I'm hoping that we all have a peaceful and happy New Year's eve and Day. Hugs to all. <<<>>>> 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted December 29, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 29, 2017 You are doing great, Sky! Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
AmyK Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Wow, Skyblue. You are almost done with Paxil! How great that you had a good Christmas, you were so worth those feelings of joy. I want to wish you all the best for the new year! ❤ love and hugs, Amy Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 30, 2017 Moderator Share Posted December 30, 2017 Such a wonderful update Sky!! Only a few more reductions and you'll be able to make the jump. Then take a break before going after the pesky zoloft. I so glad that your holidays are going well. Having the bad days align properly was quite the blessing. I hope they weren't too bad, it sounds like you weathered them quite well. I thought we were cold in Portland, but you got us beat by a mile. I haven't experienced cold like your's since I lived in Montana, I think I've lived in Southern California too long to do to much of that any more. We are looking into a trip to Northern Canada or Greenland to see the Northern Lights, but that will be short term exposure of only a week or so. I hope you have a great new year and wish you continued healing in the coming year. (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted December 30, 2017 Moderator Share Posted December 30, 2017 Hi Tom: I hope you had a fabulous Christmas after getting your warm clothes and have a Happy New Year! Oh, and learn to drive your new recliner lol... Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
nz11 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 6 hours ago, SkyBlue said: However, I had my first Christmas Eve in four years where I did not feel extremely depressed and (falsely) suicidal. To explain the gratitude and joy I felt for that would need volumes. I sure can relate to this. nz11 Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 10, 2018 NZ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 10, 2018 Friends, I am in urgent need of help getting Paxil refills. First of all, my current psychiatrist thinks I'm weaning completely off over the next two months. I have probably about 2-3 weeks' supply currently. I went to a different, "regular" doctor today to supposedly check my asthma. I also said, oh do you think you could refill my Paxil? My other dr left that clinic, etc etc. She said no! Bc I'm "in eating disorder treatment" and "it should really be monitored very closely" etc. Whaaaaaat? I am feeling very awful and hopeless about how to get this done. Any thoughts? I appreciate it. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted January 10, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 10, 2018 Hi, Skyblue. Check out the provider directory on the Mad in America site and see if any providers are close to you: Mad in America - Provider Directory Also, you may want to scroll through the Check In topics and see if there's a link for your area and reach out to people in your area who may have some ideas for withdrawal-friendly doctors. "Check in" topics: SurvivingAntidepressant.org members near you Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 10, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 10, 2018 Thank you, dear Shep, for such a speedy and useful reply. No one in my area, but I'm researching doctors from the list you linked to in case they can do a pay-out-of-pocket Skype session. This seems a bit drastic, and I'm open to other options if anyone has them, but I do need something in case nothing else works. Funnily enough, if my calculations are correct (and they may not be), I really only need 60 mg of Paxil. If I could find one of my old pills somewhere I'd be all set. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
wantrelief Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hi SkyBlue, I was reading through your thread and wanted to tell you how much I admire how you've gotten through your taper. In regards to your more immediate concern, I wonder if you could go to one of those urgent care clinics and get a script there. You could explain you don't have a "regular" provider right now and that is why you are there. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hi wantrelief, Thank you so much; what a kind thing to say. I really appreciate it. Yes, I wonder if urgent care could get me a prescription. I think the problem is that I'm needing the manufacturer's oral liquid. And that's because I'm tapering. And when people hear "tapering," they get scared and think it needs to be monitored extremely closely. Otherwise I imagine there'd be no problem with any doctor just refilling a Rx for tablets. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Blondiee1915 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hi SkyBlue - When I wanted reinstate back last year I went to urgent care and they would not prescribe me any liquid SSRI and directed me to my psychiatrist. Can you ask your current psychiatrist for liquid and just say that you are so sensitive and need to stay on this tiny dose for a bit longer ? This is so crazy . They prescribe drugs like candy here and there but when you actually need something there is a run around . Hope you will figure something out soon ❤️❤️❤️ 04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM 03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM 01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon 12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016 Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16 Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Blondiee1915 said: Can you ask your current psychiatrist for liquid and just say that you are so sensitive and need to stay on this tiny dose for a bit longer ? This is so crazy . They prescribe drugs like candy here and there but when you actually need something there is a run around . Hi Blondie, thanks for responding. I think that is a good idea, to let her know I'm just so sensitive; I need the liquid for a little while longer. That will hopefully buy me some time for next steps. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2018 Feeling a lot of very strong hopelessness and serious SI right now. I am trying very hard to pull back from it, but it doesn't feel like there is meaning in this, and my brain is trying very hard to tell me that all of my good moments are in the past, like for REAL for real this time. Going to be bed. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hi sky, I know a psychiatrist who does phone consultation and prescription. I used him couple times. His charge is quite expensive, $520 one hour with insurance and $250 without. You can try to ask for a short consultation like half hour if he would do it for prescription only. i can share with you his contact if you want to try. lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 11, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hi Lex, That would be wonderful. Thanks very much. Yes, while that's a chunk of money, if I can keep my taper going with another liquid Rx, it will be worth it. I hope I didn't worry anyone last night. I was in a very bad place after being in a very bad place on a regular basis for two and a half years and it was really weighing on me. On my good days/times, my mindfulness, exercise, etc etc all "work" pretty well, but sometimes whatever WD does to my brain gets overwhelming. I'll never give up, but it's scary to feel that way at all. Love and healing to everyone. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Sent his contact to you via pm Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 12, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 12, 2018 Thanks, Lex! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
wantrelief Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 15 hours ago, SkyBlue said: Hi Lex, That would be wonderful. Thanks very much. Yes, while that's a chunk of money, if I can keep my taper going with another liquid Rx, it will be worth it. I hope I didn't worry anyone last night. I was in a very bad place after being in a very bad place on a regular basis for two and a half years and it was really weighing on me. On my good days/times, my mindfulness, exercise, etc etc all "work" pretty well, but sometimes whatever WD does to my brain gets overwhelming. I'll never give up, but it's scary to feel that way at all. Love and healing to everyone. I am glad you are ok, SkyBlue. I have had these thoughts persistently for the last few months (and at other times going through withdrawal too) so understand after two and a half years that it would really be weighing on you and overwhelming. I am really sorry you have had to deal with this horrible symptom for so very long. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 12, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 12, 2018 Thanks so much, Wantrelief. I really appreciate it. <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 12, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 12, 2018 I've contacted and left messages or emails for several doctors, both from the list Shep linked to above, and a couple of others. If I'm able to connect with one who will help me get the Rx, I will in fact do that, even paying out of pocket for ONE appointment only. I'll mention tapering, etc., but I wish I knew before paying out of pocket if they would indeed be willing to write the Rx for me. Oh well. Paying out of pocket does seem rather extreme and unnecessary though. There are hundreds of psychiatrists in my area. Can anyone help me work out the logistics of this?: Goal: Most important is getting the one-time Rx of oral suspension Paxil. Ideally I will be able to get one 150ml bottle of Paxil, which should (!) last the rest of my taper, and which I have found at a Canadian pharmacy for $80. We know that regular doctors are afraid to help, so I can't just walk into a clinic and ask for liquid Paxil. It can't be someone in my current health system because they all share computerized records. I need to continue seeing my current psychiatrist bc she is at the eating disorder center I'm getting treatment at. This is the one who gave me a small amount of liquid Paxil and then thinks I'll be transitioning off Zoloft and trying Prozac. Why don't you switch to pills, bc any doctor can prescribe them? I would try for a regular dose of pills, but it is not safe to mess with formulations at this point (liquid back to pills). Maybe I could "start over" with another doctor, but I'm not sure if insurance would like me going to a different provider and then returning to my current provider (which I do have to do, per treatment plan at my center), or is that something I don't need to worry about? You guys, seriously. This CANNOT be this hard. I really need help figuring out what to do, and could use help strategizing. I'm helping that someone can help me see this from another angle I haven't looked at yet. Thanks again in advance. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 19, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 19, 2018 I'm down to 0.52 mg as of two days ago. Some dp/dr/ feeling of disorientation, confusion, weirdness since the drop. But it's old hat by now; I'm so used to it!!!!! Lol So I don't love feeling weird, but I do know the cause, I know it can't hurt me. It hasn't stopped me from much (went to my normal exercise classes this week as well as to a play with a friend yesterday), but at the same time I'm respecting my limits and not trying to overdo things. Also doing grounding exercises and making sure I'm eating enough. I'm finding mindfulness to be increasingly helpful with "withdrawal worries." This skill has really improved just in the last six months or so. I do still have the wd-related worries, but I'm more able to "watch" them and kind of check them off as they go by: "how long will all this tapering and WD take, (check), yes, I know you're worried about that just like with every drop before this; it's understandable that you would worry about that; your worry is noted and you can do something else for right now." If that makes sense!!! (see "confusion," above!!!) So if mindfulness isn't that helpful at first, I want to encourage people to keep with it. I was doing this "thought labeling"/watching/noticing several months ago and it really wasn't helpful at all. (Mindfulness isn't yet helpful for me with the SI but I'm keeping at it.) I'm meeting with a new doctor this week. Hopefully this will solve my refill problem; I'll keep you posted! Hope everyone is ok. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted January 20, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 20, 2018 Such an excellent update Sky!!! All the things you're doing are working well. I love the attitude and acceptance. It's really encouraging to see how your mindfulness skills are improving. It's not something that can be learned overnight, but rather a skill that needs practiced and developed. A lot of trial and error, making little adjustments and working things out are involved. Eventually those skills will become second nature and you won't even think about them, they'll just happen naturally. (((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted January 21, 2018 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 21, 2018 Thanks so much, Brass!!! Hugs right back!!!! <33 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
powerback Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Good on ye SB ,what a wonderful update for you . Brilliant . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now