direstraits Posted April 18, 2019 Share Posted April 18, 2019 51 minutes ago, SkyBlue said: Hi friends, I feel that now, between years 3 and 4 of the too-fast-"taper", important things are changing. Even though the waves are as frequent and as bad as ever, WDnormal is improving, even if it's hard to say exactly how. I'm still overstimulated or dissociated much of the time and actually quite debilitated, but when I get into a window of feeling... OKAY!!!!!, it feels so incredible. Is that how it will feel when I'm healed? It's too soon to say. I'm not worried about it at the moment. I'm just enjoying this window. ❤️ Hang in there, everyone. They're not kidding when they say, truly, we all heal. Edited to add: Happy Easter to all who celebrate. thanks for your encouraging post,Sky...I need to read stuff like this right now. enjoy your window and Happy Easter! xx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
JackieDecides Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 21 hours ago, SkyBlue said: I'm not worried about it at the moment. I'm just enjoying this window. ❤️ Hang in there, everyone. They're not kidding when they say, truly, we all heal. so glad you are having a window and are starting to see there IS light at the end of it all. Happy Easter to you. ❤️ Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut) Famotidine once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes) magnesium 200 mg at night as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000" off Lexapro as of 5/2018 - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 22 hours ago, SkyBlue said: I feel that now, between years 3 and 4 of the too-fast-"taper", important things are changing. Even though the waves are as frequent and as bad as ever, WDnormal is improving, even if it's hard to say exactly how. I'm still overstimulated or dissociated much of the time and actually quite debilitated, but when I get into a window of feeling... OKAY!!!!!, it feels so incredible. Is that how it will feel when I'm healed? It's too soon to say. I'm not worried about it at the moment. I'm just enjoying this window. ❤️ Hang in there, everyone. They're not kidding when they say, truly, we all heal. Thank you so much for sharing that your WDnormal is improving and that you have windows where you feel what sounds like indeed what you'll feel like when you healed. It really helps to hear that even though it took a lot of time, you do notice positive changes are happening....evidence that what we read is true, that healing is happening all behind the scenes even if we don't notice it - it is SO hard for me to believe that until I read messages like yours. Enjoy the window, SkyBlue....you so deserve it!! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 Hi sky blue, just read your thread. Happy to read about your windows, each time I see one of your windows it’s comforting to me. Am am I right that thought most of this you’ve been on 100mg of Zoloft? And you were still having waves of suicidal ideation? Do you think the Zoloft helped or hindered in anyway? Thank you for your posts, they do bring hope to people ❤️❤️❤️❤️ *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted April 21, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 21, 2019 Hi Skyblue, Sorry to hear about your struggles with the bad waves, but I’m glad you’re in a window now. Enjoy! I’m so glad withdrawal normal is improving for you too. One of these days we will all be in withdrawal normal without any more waves, and after that even withdrawal normal will turn into normal. No more symptoms at all! Yay! It’s a shame that the process is so slow, but it keeps me going knowing that each day is a day closer to healing. Take care, sending hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted April 24, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2019 On 4/19/2019 at 6:27 PM, Vonnegutjunky said: Hi sky blue, just read your thread. Happy to read about your windows, each time I see one of your windows it’s comforting to me. Am am I right that thought most of this you’ve been on 100mg of Zoloft? And you were still having waves of suicidal ideation? Do you think the Zoloft helped or hindered in anyway? Thank you for your posts, they do bring hope to people ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hi V, thanks so much for coming by and for reading my thread. ❤️ Glad my windows are comforting to you. Yes, this entire time, since ~July 2015 I've been on Zoloft. My doctor started me on it to "cross-taper" and as I became more and more suicidal, rageful and non-functioning during the acute Paxil withdrawal, it got increased from 25 to 50 to 100. It did not help the suicidality, and I haven't ever gotten the chance to see what is Paxil wd and what is Zoloft side effects (not to mention being on two SSRIs?!!?!?). Grrrrrrr! Thanks again for stopping by. Do take care! ❤️ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted April 24, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2019 On 4/18/2019 at 4:53 PM, direstraits said: thanks for your encouraging post,Sky...I need to read stuff like this right now. enjoy your window and Happy Easter! xx You're very welcome, DS, and thanks to you, too. On 4/19/2019 at 1:33 PM, JackieDecides said: so glad you are having a window and are starting to see there IS light at the end of it all. Happy Easter to you. ❤️ Thanks, Jackie. Same to you. On 4/19/2019 at 2:35 PM, wantrelief said: Thank you so much for sharing that your WDnormal is improving and that you have windows where you feel what sounds like indeed what you'll feel like when you healed. It really helps to hear that even though it took a lot of time, you do notice positive changes are happening....evidence that what we read is true, that healing is happening all behind the scenes even if we don't notice it - it is SO hard for me to believe that until I read messages like yours. Enjoy the window, SkyBlue....you so deserve it!! Hi WR, I'm so very glad this has spoken to you. I can really relate to not believing it until I read someone's words that really, really connected to what I was feeling. Thanks so very much for your kind words. On 4/20/2019 at 7:05 PM, Carmie said: Hi Skyblue, Sorry to hear about your struggles with the bad waves, but I’m glad you’re in a window now. Enjoy! I’m so glad withdrawal normal is improving for you too. One of these days we will all be in withdrawal normal without any more waves, and after that even withdrawal normal will turn into normal. Carmie, thanks for such positive words. Hugs right back!!!! ❤️ So glad I have you guys on this journey with me. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Rabe Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Hi SkyBlue...I was reading your thread and was so sorry you were hit with such a wave....and then poof it was gone!!! That is healing dont you think? I mean it didnt last long...though that does not minimize its effects at all. I juset think the short term of it means you are healing further and further!! SO happy to hear you are feeling better!!! Hope it continues for some time again!!💜 -Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016 -Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. -November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17, -20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day -Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17 -Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg 5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded -4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19 -July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, -7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25 -1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg, 1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit 1/week,Reacted Mag prn Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted April 28, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 28, 2019 Hi Skyblue, Just wondering how you’re doing, sending hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted April 30, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 30, 2019 On 4/27/2019 at 5:51 PM, Rabe said: Hi SkyBlue...I was reading your thread and was so sorry you were hit with such a wave....and then poof it was gone!!! SO happy to hear you are feeling better!!! Hope it continues for some time again!!💜 On 4/27/2019 at 7:04 PM, Carmie said: Hi Skyblue, Just wondering how you’re doing, sending hugs🤗 Hi, Rabe and Carmie, Thanks so much for checking in on me. Very kind of you. ❤️ Rabe, that's a great perspective that a wave can come and go and that it's evidence of healing. I was deleting pictures, etc from about three years ago and cannot believe the all-encompassing symptoms I was dealing with then. I've really healed a lot. I almost hesitate to say that because I have a long way to go toward being actually functional on a predictable basis, but there has so absolutely been healing. Majorly. Some okay wd-normal days recently and actually a good day in there. I still go between wanting to Do EVERYthing!! when feeling good, and actually just take it easy so I don't wear myself out. It will also be a continued learning experience for me to not blame myself for waves, for not wanting to to on, etc. I do logically know it's not my fault, of course. I will say that I end up feeling pretty foolish after a wave for not being able to see around it and truly not wanting to go on... but we know psych drugs and withdrawal disable the brain; why in the world would that be my fault? I'm making some progress in this--having compassion for myself post-wave and reminding myself that it's my "withdrawal self" feeling that way, not my "real self," and it will continue to be something I'll work on. ❤️ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
JackieDecides Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 1 hour ago, SkyBlue said: I've really healed a lot. I almost hesitate to say that because I have a long way to go toward being actually functional on a predictable basis, but there has so absolutely been healing. Majorly. such a good insight! ❤️ Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut) Famotidine once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes) magnesium 200 mg at night as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000" off Lexapro as of 5/2018 - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted May 1, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 1, 2019 22 hours ago, JackieDecides said: such a good insight! ❤️ Thanks. ❤️ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted September 20, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 20, 2019 How are you doing Skyblue?💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted September 22, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 22, 2019 On 9/20/2019 at 1:23 AM, Carmie said: How are you doing Skyblue?💚 Hello, dear Carmie! Thanks so much for stopping by. I am hanging in there. : ) Windows and waves! I hope you are doing well. ❤️ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted October 2, 2019 Moderator Share Posted October 2, 2019 Hi Sky-- haven't heard from you in a while and wanted to make sure everything was alright. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 3, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 3, 2019 Thanks so much for checking, in, Brass! It means a lot. I am doing all right. Down to 0.04mg! ! ! !! Will have to update my signature. Doing a few more part-time jobs here and there! It's been, wow-- a real challenge, and I get severe symptoms when I get home and then for a few days, actually-- but I'm feeling just better enough to do that. I won't push myself harder than my body can take , but it feels important to at least try. Saw a cool new video by Baylissa where she reminds us that we all do heal. Surprise! Lol. Yes, she said, even those of us who are very severe and protracted. I'm so glad you checked in, Brass. So much solidarity and hugs to everyone reading this! ! ! !! ! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted October 3, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 3, 2019 1 hour ago, SkyBlue said: I am doing all right. Down to 0.04mg! Take good care of yourself, SkyBlue. Great to hear from you! Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Mentor Cocopuffz17 Posted October 3, 2019 Mentor Share Posted October 3, 2019 On 4/30/2019 at 10:21 AM, SkyBlue said: I was deleting pictures, etc from about three years ago and cannot believe the all-encompassing symptoms I was dealing with then. I've really healed a lot. I almost hesitate to say that because I have a long way to go toward being actually functional on a predictable basis, but there has so absolutely been healing. Majorly. That is amazing! Great to hear! I am almost 8 months off paxil and this resonates so much with me! The little function I had has greatly improved and gets better month by month. I am experiencing great feelings I didn't even know were possible in life! You will get there!!!! 3 hours ago, SkyBlue said: Thanks so much for checking, in, Brass! It means a lot. I am doing all right. Down to 0.04mg! ! ! !! Will have to update my signature. You are almost there, when do you plan on going to 0? I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 2008 to 2019 - 20 mg Paroxetine Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful. 2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted October 3, 2019 Moderator Share Posted October 3, 2019 I’m so happy for you! You are almost done with the Paxil taper! And did wonderful. I jumped off Lexapro at .05 mg and did fine. Six months off. I’m now tapering off Xanax, yuck! I just wanted to say I’m so happy for you💜 Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 10, 2019 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 10, 2019 Hi everyone and thanks for your kind words on my thread. I'm sorry not to be able to respond right now. Hope everyone is well. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Mentor Cocopuffz17 Posted October 11, 2019 Mentor Share Posted October 11, 2019 1 hour ago, SkyBlue said: Hi everyone and thanks for your kind words on my thread. I'm sorry not to be able to respond right now. Hope everyone is well. Not a problem. I am doing well. I hope you are as well. I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 2008 to 2019 - 20 mg Paroxetine Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful. 2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. Link to comment
direstraits Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 On 10/3/2019 at 8:56 AM, SkyBlue said: Saw a cool new video by Baylissa where she reminds us that we all do heal. Surprise! Lol. Yes, she said, even those of us who are very severe and protracted Thanks for this encouraging reminder.🙂 it's always good to know this will end at some point. hope you feel better soon.❤️ went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Mentor Greatful Posted July 31, 2021 Mentor Share Posted July 31, 2021 @SkyBlue Hi I wanted to stop by and say hi to a fellow Minnesotan. I see you have had some ups and down. You are a veteran at this. I may stop by for some helpful advice from time to time☺️ I see you haven't posted for quite sometime but I noticed you were last on the form on July 23 I hope everything is okay. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 1, 2021 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 1, 2021 16 hours ago, Greatful said: @SkyBlue Hi I wanted to stop by and say hi to a fellow Minnesotan. I see you have had some ups and down. You are a veteran at this. I may stop by for some helpful advice from time to time☺️ I see you haven't posted for quite sometime but I noticed you were last on the form on July 23 I hope everything is okay. Hi Greatful, Thanks for stopping by. Yes, please stop by for advice whenever you'd like! Thanks for asking; things aren't okay, but I am here. I won't give up this fight. I feel like I should, or would like to, have some kind of hope to offer people when I post here, so it's been a while. I am in continued serious debilitating life-halting withdrawal. I'll try to do an update soon. Thanks again for your kind words. 1 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Mentor Greatful Posted March 21, 2022 Mentor Share Posted March 21, 2022 @SkyBlue Hi neighbor, stopping by to see how you are doing? I hope things are getting better for you......I know this can be a very long drawn out journey. If you don't mind ne asking, I was wondering if you are totally off the drugs? Please feel free to reach out to me pm or on my/your post if you want to talk.......I think you and I have been on these drugs about the same amount of time...... You are so much closer then me to being off.........Way to go https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/ 1995? Prozac, tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015 Kindled Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016 ended back on Prozac and Lamictal 200mg 5/2020 thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg Prozac down to 3mg. Crashed 12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct 1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/1 6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects ct 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 2021/ 5/16 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone, xanax .0625mg 3x a day Lexapro Taper> Sept/01/2021 4.90mg> Sept/25 4.75mg> Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg Jan/30/2022-- Split dosing 2x a day All liquid 4.2mg (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg> 2/24 3.8mg slow taper to Aug/12/2022 2.04mg 2023> 2mg, 1.90mg, 1.80mg, 1.70mg, 1.5mg, 1.4mg, 1.3mg 1.2mg, 1.1mg, 1mg, 0.9mg, 0.8mg, 0.7mg 0.65mg, 0.6mg, 0.55mg, 0.5mg, 0.45mg, 0.4mg, 0.35mg, 0.3mg, 0.25,mg, back to once a day dosing 0 .1mg, 0.07mg , 0.05mg 4/1/2024 0 Lamictal taper 4/17/ 2022 25mg, 9/9/ 22 -20mg, 9/25/22- 15mg , 10/20/22- 0 Trazodone..2023.>down to 14mg, 7mg, 6mg July 2023 0 Xanax 0.0625 3 x a day, 2023> 0.042 3x a day Supplements Magnesium glycinate, Omega 3, D3, vitamin c , zinc, NAC Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted March 22, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 22, 2022 Hi Greatful! How kind of you to stop by and check on me. I really appreciate it. Thanks for your offer to check in too. Yes, we need as much support as possible on this journey. I'll do a more thorough update soon, I hope, but -- still hanging in (clinging on, at times) and not yet totally off psych drug poison, but I'll get there. I will hold that hope for you as well. My symptoms are still life-limiting, frequently debilitating, and as times it's a matter of making it hour by hour or minute by minute. It gets very dark on a regular basis (weekly at least at this point), but this will not be the end of me. I know I'm doing everything I can with nutrition, reasonable exercise every day; water; sleep; meditation. Again, thanks so much for stopping by. It really means a lot. ❤️ 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 8, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 8, 2022 I have wanted to update, but hesitating, because this will not be a very uplifting update as it is a true update about extremely protracted withdrawal. While I would prefer to wait until I have inspiring updates to share, I also know that my story deserves to be heard, including hopefully by researchers and others who care about gathering data and stories from real people. In July of 2020 I took my last dose of Paxil. That was four years coming off 1.2 mg, thanks to SA, after halting an extremely dangerous "cold taper" by a ridiculous doctor. For SEVEN YEARS I have struggled with debilitating symptoms (still unable to work; completely knocked over by a single "big" day; no end in sight for complete nervous system dysregulation; dealing with a merciless disability appeals system), yet somehow refuse to give up hope there can be a life for me. What or how on earth I will get there, feels really scary. This isn't something that responds to "hey let me write down my goals and get there." It's affected every aspect of my life, including spirituality. I do a lot of self-care, nutrition, yoga, breathing, calm for nervous system, nature; continually dealing with symptoms, be it dp/dr, SI, etc etc. At this long out, I do have windows of a few hours at a time. I'm grateful for them, of course, but i haven't found the one-window-leads-to-the-next-and-they-last-longer-and-longer-and-eventually-it's--all-windows-and-you're-so-glad-you-hung-on-how-wonderful-you're-healed-now. I am dependent on family. They love me. They think that a different med, "the right one" would help me, but they love me very much. They're the reason I hang on. I am nowhere near healed, and still have a Zoloft taper to go. Yet, I have no choice than to go on. I won't leave my family behind. If anyone is reading this, THIS. IS. REAL. Paxil and other ssris destroys nervous systems and for some of us, it is very uncertain how long it will take to rebuild. 2 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Ariel Posted July 8, 2022 Share Posted July 8, 2022 Dear @SkyBlue Thank you for your honesty. I am so sorry for your suffering. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could take your pain away. I don't know what to say other than: I hear you. I hold space for your experience. All my love and respect, in solidarity and support, A. 1 1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs) 2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?) Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg --> July 2018 - 0mg 2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg 2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg --> July 2021 - 0mg March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT) --> April 28th, 2021 - 0mg supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Karle Wilson Baker love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters. - Rev. angel Kyodo williams Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are. - text on homemade banner at Afiya house I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted July 8, 2022 Share Posted July 8, 2022 It is good to hear from you @SkyBlue. However I am really sorry to hear you are still struggling so much. My heart is with you and I hope so much that the windows you do experience become longer and longer very soon. I admire your courage and perseverance through this most difficult (really no words describe it) of journeys. You are very brave. 2 -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted July 8, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 8, 2022 10 hours ago, SkyBlue said: It's affected every aspect of my life, including spirituality. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so. I understand about losing touch with spirituality, but I've found that the connection does come back. 10 hours ago, SkyBlue said: At this long out, I do have windows of a few hours at a time. I'm grateful for them, of course, but i haven't found the one-window-leads-to-the-next This has been exactly my experience. I will say say that having windows at all is a very good sign. 10 hours ago, SkyBlue said: I am nowhere near healed, and still have a Zoloft taper to go. I'm with you there, Sky, as you can see from my signature. 2 Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Believer Posted July 8, 2022 Share Posted July 8, 2022 @SkyBlue Thank you for sharing where you’re at. You aren’t alone. This can be a long, slow, slog for some of us. I’m glad that you have a loving family presence in your life. I’m sorry they don’t understand that no pill can fix you. Keep the faith that your windows, although short, are a good sign. Hugs, Believer 2 1998-2015 Zoloft. 100mg 2015 Straight switch to Wellbutrin by GP who claimed Zoloft stopped working; I was experiencing occasional brain zaps. 3 months later Wellbutrin XR. Highly activating. Lost ability to sleep. Seroquel x3 nights. Horrible reaction. Straight switch back to Zoloft, began taper. Found SA after tapering 25 mgs a week to 25mgs and began experiencing W/D. 6/21/19 5.05 mg; 9/6/19 4.8 mg; 4/24/20 4.57 mg; 8/27/21 4.43 mg 9/20-9/25/21 xover to new RX from expired meds 10/22/21 4.13 mg; 11/26/21 3.93 mg; 4/15/22 3.74 mg; 6/3/22 3.54 mg; 8/5/22 3.38; 9/30/22 3.19; 11/18/22 3.03; 12/30/22 2.88; 2/17/23 2.74; 3/24/23 2.60; 5/12/23 2.47; 6/23/23 2.35; 8/11/23 2.24; 9/15/23 2.13; 10/20/23 2.02; 11/24/23 1.92; 1/12/24 1.83; 2/17/24 1.72; 3/23/24 1.64 Supplements: Natural Calm magnesium, Vitamin C Vitamin D during winter. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted July 8, 2022 Moderator Share Posted July 8, 2022 Hi Skyblue-- I'm so sorry to read that each day is continuing to be a struggle. At least you are getting some windows, which is a good thing. Have you noticed if your symptoms are slowly getting worse? Over the last 6 months has your WDnormal gone downhill? 1 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 9, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 9, 2022 5 hours ago, brassmonkey said: Hi Skyblue-- I'm so sorry to read that each day is continuing to be a struggle. At least you are getting some windows, which is a good thing. Have you noticed if your symptoms are slowly getting worse? Over the last 6 months has your WDnormal gone downhill? Hi Brass, thanks so much for your kind words. I *am* getting windows, and that is a great sign, absolutely. And symptoms are gradually, g r a d u a lly getting better. Over the last 6 months, WDnormal is slightly better; same with previous six months, and so on. It is in no way getting worse. It's that whole snail-in-a-marathon feeling. If we look at the snail every six months, we can see the snail has definitely moved. They just need encouragement. I'm also wondering if, perspective-wise, a gradual improvement in WDnormal (which is good!!) can actually make waves seem that much worse by comparison. Because when I'm hit with a worse-than-usual wave, I think, "Wow. Three/four years ago, I felt like this 75% of the time." So while the above update I wrote is true, it is also true that I can see improvement. Before last night, I'd gone about 10 days or so without severe akathisia, even after a shower. WDnormal cognitive clarity has improved as well. Ability to actually actually feel feelings. These are not small things. I always journal about improvements, glimpses, windows, and moments, to hopefully keep my mind generally oriented toward healing. Thanks again for your kind concern and being a beacon of light in this process. ❤️ 2 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 9, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 9, 2022 17 hours ago, Ariel said: All my love and respect, in solidarity and support, @Ariel, thank you so much. I know you can really understand this protracted journey. Thank you for holding space for me; I hold the same space for you. ❤️ 8 hours ago, wantrelief said: I admire your courage and perseverance through this most difficult (really no words describe it) of journeys. You are very brave. @wantrelief, I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you for saying I am brave; I think you are, too. And yes, no words for this journey, really!!! Thanks again. 2 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 9, 2022 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 9, 2022 8 hours ago, Gridley said: I'm with you there, Sky, as you can see from my signature. Gridley! So good to hear from you. Thanks so much for being here for me. I do agree that spirituality can and will come back. (And it has for me in many moments.) And definitely, having windows is a good sign. Although I'm I'm glad to have you on this journey with me. ❤️ 8 hours ago, Believer said: Thank you for sharing where you’re at. You aren’t alone. This can be a long, slow, slog for some of us. Believer, thank you for stopping by to encourage me, and for the reminder that I'm not alone. With perseverance and support, I believe we can make it. (I love your username.) ❤️ 2 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted July 9, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 9, 2022 26 minutes ago, SkyBlue said: I'm also wondering if, perspective-wise, a gradual improvement in WDnormal (which is good!!) can actually make waves seem that much worse by comparison. Because when I'm hit with a worse-than-usual wave, I think, "Wow. Three/four years ago, I felt like this 75% of the time." I agree with this. I have noticed it many times with members. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
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