Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 29, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 29, 2017 6 minutes ago, SkyBlue said: Cognitive issues on and off and I'm afraid I can't figure out how to update my signature on this new format, but right now I'm on .76 mg. Hi, SkyBlue. Thanks for the update. Sounds like a good update with no increased symptoms and for your lingering symptoms, it sounds like you are coping well and getting through, as difficult as they are. You are becoming a master at the non-drug coping skills. Here's a direct link to your signature with the new format: Account settings - signature Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted July 29, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 29, 2017 Seems like a very fine update to me. Congratulations on the 2% drop with no new symptoms. You're doing great! Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
AmyK Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 I can feel the hopelessness as well, SkyBlue. I am sure it's a chemical thing and will go away. Take good care of your self. Your taper seems to go well! Many hugs! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 30, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 30, 2017 20 hours ago, Shep said: Hi, SkyBlue. Thanks for the update. Sounds like a good update with no increased symptoms and for your lingering symptoms, it sounds like you are coping well and getting through, as difficult as they are. You are becoming a master at the non-drug coping skills. Here's a direct link to your signature with the new format: Account settings - signature Hi Shep! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. Thanks also for the direct link to the signature page. I think I had been swimming around my settings or something and not finding it. So I appreciate it! <3 <3 <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 30, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 30, 2017 Thank you, Gridley! Thank you, Amy! I really appreciate your support and friendship. Hugs to you and hope you are doing well! <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 18, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 18, 2017 Remember to fill out this online survey about WD-- open until August 24. http://cepuk.org/2017/08/10/cep-2017-prescribed-drug-withdrawal-survey/ I filled it out and found it very simple and straightforward. They didn't seem to have an option to say if you are *currently* tapering, vs on or off the drug. So I explained my situation in the comments. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 22, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 22, 2017 Today I had one of the scariest experiences of my WD journey (and life, really) and I need help. 8/18 I went from .76 to .74 mg. This is after a three-week hold. Saturday 8/19 I was fine, then had dizziness upon standing (or sitting); nausea; dp/dr (mild); scared feeling; progressed into fever at night; alternating w/chills; bad nightmares. Maybe it's the flu. I'll be okay. Sunday 8/20 cold/cold/cold all day; wrapped up in a blanket in the middle of August in Minnesota. Mentally okay, just "blah." Continued "tippy" feeling when I get up or down. Fully tethered to reality. Awoke in nighttime drenched in sweat (eewwwww). Today 8/21 on the day of the solar eclipse, *I* myself was nearly eclipsed. I say that without laughing--it is a perfect metaphor. Before when I've had dp/dr, *I* have been there, to use strategies; ask for help; whatever. This time I don't know what happened; it was like bam! And suddenly I was not sure I was there or about to slip into some other reality. I can't explain how horrible it was. I also felt like I was about to fall over. I got home (got a ride) and just sat in alternate-reality-terror until it gradually subsided. I would say I was 99% dissociated… Now I am about 75-80% present. Friends, I need help deciding whether to stay at .74 or up-dose to .76. How do I know if the worst is over and I can now stabilize at this dose (for about 10 years; I don't care). I'm anticipating possible cognitive problems in remembering who I've responded to, so I thank you all very much in advance. Thanks. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 22, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 22, 2017 I just took .74 mg and am going to bed soon. I hope for the best. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
AmyK Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Stay at 0.74 mg. It will pass and you will stabilize. Horrible experience, but you will be fine! Many warm hugs, Amy Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted August 22, 2017 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2017 Hi Sky-- That sounds like it really hit you hard for such a small drop. They don't usually do that, but it can happen. There is a thing called the "Paxil Flu" that fits the description you give of your symptoms. Feels like a bad case of the Flu but it's just the effects of a drop. Like the Flu it should blow over pretty soon, but is no fun going through. Throw some strong DR/DP on top of it, no thank you. With any luck the worst has come and gone, but you could end up feeling pretty rotten for several days. I would ride things out at the .74,any attempt to updose would only scramble things up more. It would be a good idea to give things a good long hold at the .74, maybe a month or two to let things catch up and work themselves out. Hope it clears up quickly. ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted August 22, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 22, 2017 Healing and Light to you, friend. It will pass. Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted August 22, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 22, 2017 Dearest Amy, Brass, and Gridley, Thank you so much for your kind words and friendship. <3 Amy, I agree--it will pass!! I'm glad I stayed at .74. Brass, I love the phrase "no thank you!" Definitely sounds like Paxil flu. So weird for such a small drop. Will definitely be holding for quite a while. Gridley, thank you for the love and light. Right back at you. Hugs to all. <333 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted September 14, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 14, 2017 Hi friends, Time for an update. I've got to start writing shorter, more frequent updates instead of one ten-page one. Probably most concerning is that I am still experiencing recurrent suicidality several days a month. It is especially dangerous when combined with the feeling that (at the time) I simply don't care about anything. It is not normal or healthy to be suicidal on a regular basis, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It is unfortunate that there are so few places we can talk about those feelings without freaking people out or being rushed to the hospital. I use the term "hopeless" with my therapist and pretty much don't tell many other people about it. Rage/akathisia: also still present and unpredictable. No clothes torn in several weeks. Unfortunately I slammed my laptop down on my bed but very fortunately it didn't break. The severe and complete dp/dr did not return. I've experienced my "WDnormal" of several hours at a time of feeling intoxicated and dream-like, but nothing too scary, thank God. I was watching a Peter Breggin video and he was talking about how psych meds are essentially a chemical lobotomy. They numb and disable part of our frontal lobe functioning, causing anesthesia and apathy. Since WD, I've felt like I don't *believe* in things the way I used to in a very passionate and meaningful way. (Leading up to WD, I had a fair amount of this in "poopout" as well.) Would you call this "apathy?" I think I would, and it kind of helps to have a name for it. I was thinking of apathy more in terms of voter apathy, or like a mild "ho-hum" feeling. This is much more serious and all-encompassing. Having this context helps me see that it's likely a frontal lobe impaired functioning that is temporary and therefore heal-able. Hopefully. There are some good days too. They feel like absolute heaven. Have been working on mindfulness skills in a group; it is helpful. Gratitude journal and exercising. Hope you all are well. <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Hi Skyler, im so sorry you are still struggling that much! The DP/DR is a horrible state to be in. I'm also having it very bad some hours each day. For me it's a effect from drug not WD. When it's severe, I feel like in a 99% coma with the 1% holding me not like a total dead. I try try to understand your tapering schedule on Paxil and found a bit lost. Also, Are your still taking Zoloft? I hope opehen when you get a chance and feel able, you can update your signature. I want to follow you and my brain is so confused and memory terrible need to look up in the signature every time I read your post. hope you Get some nice breaks for the day! lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
bhasski Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Glad you are having windows and hope they become permanent. For me, its all bad symptoms.. Rage like you described... i broke my phone with a throw just to shut people out. Dp/dr has gotten down by 10%, if 100% when extreme. Same apathy.. yes, I have accepted a name. But dunno how long i have in me to wait for it to atleast make me functional.. walking and working in dream is barely said fumctional... yes its dream coz I tend to forget things lately. 😃 08/13 - 01/14Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem) 02/14 - 05/14Flunil 20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.2510/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)11/14 - 08/15Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T) 03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam. After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted September 14, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 14, 2017 Sorry you've been having a rough go of it. I have the apathy too, though it sort of overlaps with the anhedonia and no energy into a mishmash of blah. I try to look at the bright side of the apathy: things that used to worry me aren't even a blip on my screen; I have bigger fish to fry. It also helps me to remember that, all evidence seemingly to the contrary, I am healing. Those neurotransmitters bulldozed down by the ADs are irrepressibly popping back up. Yours are too! Gridley Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Blondiee1915 Posted September 24, 2017 Share Posted September 24, 2017 Hi SkyBlue - Stopping by to see how you are. I can relate to DP/DR, it is truly scary and it just feels so unreal. It is good that it tends to go away, definitely a positive sign. Would you say your good days appear more frequent? I hope they do increase in duration for you <3 It is scary to think about what exactly do these drugs do in our brain. I catch myself thinking from time to time and how long I was on them, just mind blowing. It is unfortunate that doctors do not take a proactive approach about helping patients to deal with issues and not to resort to drugs immediately. Every single doctor I go to never questioned the amount of time I was on medication or suggested that perhaps I should look at other options as this is not a long term solution. Hope you are doing better girl <3 B. 04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM 03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM 01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon 12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016 Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16 Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted September 27, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 27, 2017 Hi friends, Thanks for your kind replies. I'm sorry it has taken a while for me to respond. My computer was not working for a couple of weeks (I've thrown it a few times in withdrawal rage unfortunately) but it is all right again now. (If I don't check in here for a while, that [iatrogenic computer harm] is likely the reason.) Lex, thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. I've updated my signature -- yes I am still on Zoloft. Starting with a 10% taper on that is I'm sure going to be such a different experience! For me, the dp/dr started while on too-high dose of Paxil, and has been an issue in withdrawal. Bhasski, thanks for your kind words. I am sorry you are having a tough time. I will try to stop by your thread. I hope you will be functional soon, too. We are definitely healing. Thanks dear Gridley for the reminder that we are healing despite the bulldozing (I like that image!) of our poor neurotransmitters. I appreciate your perspective on anhedonia. Brass recently posted something on anhedonia also. He talks about how it can be seen essentially as nature's way of protecting us from the reality of what is happening to our brains as we heal. Blondie, so good to hear from you. At the moment and I don't want to jinx it (lolll) the good days are more frequent. I'm able to stay above water long enough to fill my lungs with air and remember what it is like to feel good. When I get sucked back underwater, it is torture, but I do believe I am on the way toward healing. Love and hugs to all! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
LexAnger Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Sky blue, thank you for updating your signature and the post! im glad you can feel above water sometimes. I hope you feel more stabilized when you are off Paxil! i can imagine how hard the journey for you so far, but with all you learned so far, hope the process getting off Zoloft is much smoother and painless. take care, lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
direstraits Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 15 hours ago, SkyBlue said: My computer was not working for a couple of weeks (I've thrown it a few times in withdrawal rage unfortunately) but it is all right I'm glad I'm not the only one who has done this,I was feeling so guilty...and hubby wasn't helping hope you're doing OK. ds went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 4, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 4, 2017 Hi Lex -- thanks very much. <3 I'll have to stop by your thread and find out who the cute little puppy is in your pic. Dire--yes, throwing a computer? It's not something I would ever do myself--the withdrawal rage, though!!!! Geez. I'm sure it's not something you, your true self, would normally do either. <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 6, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 6, 2017 I just wrote an update that my computer ate. Does this site save drafts at all? If not I will retype tomorrow or soon. Down to .66 mg and seems to be doing fine. Planning a 2-week hold from here. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
myndfull Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 SkyBLue -- I've been reading the last three pages or so of your thread, and I want to say--from one w/d sufferer to another: I'm so impressed with you! You face this suffering steely-eyed; you're clear and honest with yourself about what's happening to you; and you're compassionate toward yourself during the worst of it. You have the mentality of a survivor. You won't let this win. I'm convinced you're going to get through this. As you are now, I'm getting very low in my dose; I'm down to 0.35 Celexa. It's been rough lately. The feelings/moods change in subtle and not very interesting ways, but the windows/waves pattern remains. I'm going to drop in a week or two and I'm determined to drop less than my usual 10%. I was interested to read that you dropped 10% over--what was it?--a month? but that you did it in smaller increments. Then you held for three weeks. You said--or perhaps you implied (sorry, my frontal lobes are fogged up) dropping this way was lessening your w/d symptoms. Are you still dropping using this schedule? And if yes, is it still mitigating symptoms? I know that others on SA do their drops in smaller doses, then hold for two to three weeks. I may do the same. Hoping the best for you and to all of us here. Myndfull I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 9, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 9, 2017 On 10/6/2017 at 8:36 PM, myndfull said: SkyBLue -- I've been reading the last three pages or so of your thread, and I want to say--from one w/d sufferer to another: I'm so impressed with you! You face this suffering steely-eyed; you're clear and honest with yourself about what's happening to you; and you're compassionate toward yourself during the worst of it. You have the mentality of a survivor. You won't let this win. I'm convinced you're going to get through this. As you are now, I'm getting very low in my dose; I'm down to 0.35 Celexa. It's been rough lately. The feelings/moods change in subtle and not very interesting ways, but the windows/waves pattern remains. I'm going to drop in a week or two and I'm determined to drop less than my usual 10%. I was interested to read that you dropped 10% over--what was it?--a month? but that you did it in smaller increments. Then you held for three weeks. You said--or perhaps you implied (sorry, my frontal lobes are fogged up) dropping this way was lessening your w/d symptoms. Are you still dropping using this schedule? And if yes, is it still mitigating symptoms? I know that others on SA do their drops in smaller doses, then hold for two to three weeks. I may do the same. Hoping the best for you and to all of us here. Myndfull Dear Myndfull, Oh, thank you so much for the incredibly kind words. I really appreciate it! (I'm not deflecting the compliment, but I think it's fair to point out that when I'm throwing things in a Paxil rage, or in complete despair, I don't know how steely-eyed I am... but I appreciate the compliment!) Oh, I definitely find 100% that dropping approximately 2% at a time has definitely mitigated the WD symptoms, and I have this site to thank for that. We call this the Brassmonkey slide, named after the SA member who devised it. It is still the 10% per month method, but spread out throughout the month. I'm still doing about 2% drops at a time, every 7-10 days or so and then a short hold. This has made everything VERY much more livable. There are weeks that I can do a drop and have no new symptoms. Thanks again and definitely hoping for the best for you too! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
myndfull Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 14 hours ago, SkyBlue said: Dear Myndfull, Oh, thank you so much for the incredibly kind words. I really appreciate it! (I'm not deflecting the compliment, but I think it's fair to point out that when I'm throwing things in a Paxil rage, or in complete despair, I don't know how steely-eyed I am... but I appreciate the compliment!) SkyBlue -- Well, "steely-eyed" in the sense that you don't turn away from what's going on inside your head. You face it. You may not always deal with it in the best of ways but you aren't running away from it. It's ugly, but you deal with it. And you seem to learn something from each episode. Rage is something I've deal with, too. While I've been tapering I do that mostly by simply acknowledging it--both that I CAN get unreasonably angry, sometimes for no reason, and that the reason I get angry is more often than not simply the absence of the AD I'm tapering. When I was on Paxil, before I started my taper, I had real issues with anger. I was made of Teflon. I was always right. I couldn't or wouldn't admit that I had an issue. I was unthinking, unfeeling. Once I shifted to Celexa before I began my taper I saw a lessening of those feelings. Myndfull I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 12, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2017 Thanks, Myndfull. Yes, for me, the rage is just something to get through without hopefully breaking too many things. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 12, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2017 Hi all, This is my update from about a week ago. Have done some more very tiny decreases and am now at 0.66 mg. It seems that at the moment at least, my very conservative taper plan (thanks SA!) is not producing any new horrible effects other than an upswing in slight dpr/dr-- I believe I am just dealing with the effects of the (near) cold-turkey two years ago. I think this is good news, and hopefully a sign that things will just get better from here. <3 I was getting my refills from my ob-gyn but she wanted me to check in with a psychiatrist. My new psychiatrist seems fairly open-minded. Of course, she said I could "probably just stop taking Paxil right now" since I'm on such a low dose. (smacks head) She did also say that Prozac might work better for me and that I could wean off of Zoloft at a very conservative rate of 100 to 0 in eight weeks (AmyK!!!!! are you there?!) and "try Prozac." So I looked thoughtful and said "Hmm, interesting, I'll think about it," and got my Zoloft refills. So I just need to keep figuring out how to get the zoloft refills. The good news is I have several months' supply of liquid Paxil, so I can keep going as slowly as I need for the time being at least. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
AmyK Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Omg, yes I am here. Stupid psychiatrist! Very conservative rare, yeah right... Show her my rate. You seem to be doing well, Skyblue. ❤ hugs! Amy Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
powerback Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 10 hours ago, SkyBlue said: Thanks, Myndfull. Yes, for me, the rage is just something to get through without hopefully breaking too many things. HI skyblue .the other week I had a strong urge of rage ,I rolled up a towel and thrashed it off the floor ,such a relief I got . PB Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 22, 2017 Administrator Share Posted October 22, 2017 Hi, Skyblue. Glad to see tiptoeing off Paxil is working for you. Do you like the psychiatrist? She seems predisposed to think you need to be on an antidepressant permanently. Is that what you want to do? If not, you might want to discuss that with her. Any doctor can refill your prescriptions for you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted October 22, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 22, 2017 On 12/10/2017 at 11:46 PM, SkyBlue said: So I looked thoughtful and said "Hmm, interesting, I'll think about it," and got my Zoloft refills. Alto, I think SkyBlue was just being ironic here and humouring the doctor to get her refill and knowing better but just avoiding confrontation I like that approach a lot! Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 23, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 23, 2017 Thanks, Amy for hugs! Right back to you!~ Andy, I like the idea of a rolled-up towel. I'm going to keep one handy, probably on the chair next to my computer so it is ready to go. Alto, I don't particularly like this psychiatrist, no. I was getting meds from an ob-gyn but since I'm on both Paxil and Zoloft ("multiple meds"), she wanted a psychiatrist to oversee it. The suggestion that "maybe Prozac will work" made me write out a list of strategies for getting future refills elsewhere, which I will probably ask for from my wonderful primary doctor. (Yes, Bubble, I'm just nodding my head and getting the refills I need.) Thanks, everyone! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted October 23, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 23, 2017 Good strategizing, SkyBlue! Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted October 23, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 23, 2017 Thanks, Gridley! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted December 7, 2017 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 7, 2017 Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted. I am now at 0.56 mg (will update my signature). I continue to be suicidal each 3-4 weeks or so. All coping/skills are the same (magnesium, trying a new fish oil; eating well; meditating; and exercise) and am learning (and practicing--not just reading about them!) some new mindfulness strategies. I am becoming a pro at battling suicidality, which is about the saddest skill I can think of to have. I haven't had any *new* issues come up so will continue at this rate as long as my body allows. I go to my psych dr on Tuesday. I do hope she will renew my Rx as I am requesting (not just "jump off" paxil since I am on such a low dose). I am prepared to go to a new doctor if needed. Originally one of my doctors was able to order me a whole bottle of liquid Paxil. I'm not sure what they did, because now I'm only allowed to get a month's supply at a time and it's stressful. If you are reading this and in the middle of your own tapering or coming-off journey, I would recommend making your own liquid suspension. I have run into trouble with doctors not wanting to prescribe the liquid Paxil because I'm on such a low dose that I can probably just jump off. If you make it yourself you can control it completely. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is doing well. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted December 7, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 7, 2017 Good to hear from you, SkyBlue. Good luck with your doctor. We are behind you. Don't forget the legs up the wall yoga pose for anxiety. It's a good one. Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment
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