dadto4boys: Hello, struggling with withdrawal and would love some help

[dadto4boys]

thanks for your help Colonial.  I still feel dreadful.  Today has been the worst day in a while.  Some days I feel ok, and other days I just feel so awful.

 

Is that normal after 2 weeks of reinstating? I updated my signature to include all of my information.  Im just struggling to know if what I'm dealing with is normal and expected with reinstatement.  I feel like I should be feeling better to some degree at this point.

[Colonial]

It's way too early to be worrying.  Remember it wasn't just that you reinstated, you accidentally went up too high.  That threw you for a loop.  We tend to have symptoms longer than it takes for our brain to recover I think.  

 

But that can be a good guide.  It's your brain's way of saying,  "please don't think of changing this again right now".

 

You're going to have some entire days you don't feel well, but you did say you were having parts of your day that were ok, that's a really good sign. It means your brain is already starting to heal.

[dadto4boys]

I feel like I'm posting the same things over and over again but I'm really struggling. It's so much for me and I can't handle it anymore. I feel awful...nauseous, on edge, physically in pain, anxious and feel like I'm going to have a panic attack or breakdown.

 

I can't believe I should be feeling like this still. I reinstated 2.5 weeks ago and I feel worse now than I did then. I just don't get it. ????

[dadto4boys]

At what point should I consider increasing the 1mg?! It doesn't seem to be helping at all.

[Ali4]

I reinstated 5mg celexa on February 5, after a major crash of tapering down from 30mg over 4 weeks, thanks to my idiot Doctor, less the two weeks off all hell broke out, since reinstating the only symptoms I have are these god awful brain zaps and headaches, hopefully over the next few weeks they disappear, it can be very trying on patience levels. I'm not too sure about your reinstatement amount, I'll leave that for a mod, I just wanted to share my story, your not alone in this hell of just wanting it too stop and be normal again. Have any of your WD symptoms gone down since reinstating? Take care Ali

[dadto4boys]

Thanks Ali. Unfortunately no. Today I have the chills, nausea, suicidal thoughts, on the edge, extreme anxiety... I feel like I'm starting withdrawal all over.

[dadto4boys]

Should I still feel like this at 2.5 weeks after reinstating?

[Colonial]

"...Should I still feel like this at 2.5 weeks after reinstating?..." 

 

"Should" isn't a word that makes any sense in these situations.  But the answer is "yes".  My paxil withdrawal is 6 to 8 weeks when I reduce a dose.  Not as bad, mind you, the further out you get.  Usually my first 3 weeks are the worst.  You're not going to feel this bad forever.

 

Secondly, you have to go by how long you have been at your "current" dose.  So today is only the 14th day.  I know that might seem silly, but every time you change the dose, it "unsettles" your brain again.  I think the "accidental" reinstatement all the way back up to 5mgs, even for only 4 days, and then back down to almost 0 again, is a big part of it.  You have had 3 major dose changes in a short time, clinically speaking. Just 5 weeks!

 

Will go pray for you now, buddy!  Just coming out of a bad 2 hour wave myself.  

[Ali4]

When you accidentally took 5mg how did you feel?

[dadto4boys]

Extremely bad nausea Ali. It was then that my wife realized the dr had called in 5mg liquid dose instead of 2.5mg. After being here we decided to drop to 1mg instead of 2.5mg.

[dadto4boys]

Thanks colonial. As you can see I'm struggling and I appreciate your feedback so much.

[Ali4]

I'm sorry that you are having such a tough go of things and hope they get better very soon, it's definitely not an easy place to be.

[brassmonkey]

Hi Dad-- I sorry to hear that you're still having trouble.  Things will eventually settle down and you'll be feeling better.  Unfortunately, I have to back up with what Colonial was telling you.  Every time a person changes dose, either up or down, it takes a minimum of four days for the drug to become steady state in the blood.  During that time symptoms can be very unpredictable and random.  After the four days the body can start to sort things out and work on stabilizing itself.  The events of the past five weeks have really shaken things up, so it's going to be a while before they get settled down.  On a normal reinstatement it can take several weeks to several months for the positive effects to be felt.  But it does eventually happen.

 

My wife has been using a small seasickness patch that goes behind the ear to combat nausea from her surgery last week.  It appears to have been working very well.  I think there is a type that is available OTC, otherwise maybe your doctor could help.

[dadto4boys]

I'm going to try the patch and seabands today. This is unbearable.

 

Nausea

Agitation

Shaking

Irritable

Anxious

On the edge

Scared

Suicidal thoughts

 

I have to work this evening and have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

[brassmonkey]

When I was having my worst days I found the distraction of work to be a blessing. I would have to slow things down and think through ever move I would make almost to the point of slow motion.  But by concentrating on the task at hand I would get things done and the symptoms would fade into the background.  It's the epitome of being in the moment and really helped.

[dadto4boys]

My issue with work is I'm a police officer and I need to be on top of my game 100%. Any slip up could be life or death. ????

[nz11]

Dt4b,

I am so sorry you are in this dreadful position...at no fault of your own.

Are you able to consider/take on a secondment to lighter duties. Could that be a possibility.

[dadto4boys]

No it's not. I took a sick day today

[brassmonkey]

Yea, that kinda changes the situation.

[Colonial]

Dad, so sorry for the situation.  Your job is so stressful to begin with.

Praying for you now.

[Ali4]

I so wish I had answers to help, I just feel so sorry for your situation, it's so tough. No relief still after reinstating?

[dadto4boys]

No relief. It's actually worse now than it was when I reinstated.

 

Is this wave so bad because of the dosage changes? I know I keep asking the same things over and over it seems but I'm just trying to wrap my head around why I feel worse instead of better. I'm starting to think there might have been a small window a few days ago and that's making this wave seem much worse.

 

Thanks for all your support and answers and prayers. Means the world to me.

[Ali4]

Accidentally 5mg for 3 days? Then down too 1mg?

[dadto4boys]

Yes Ali. Was off completely for 5 weeks (5mg to zero mg). Then 5mg for 3 days 2/8, 2/9, 2/10. 1mg since.

[Colonial]

My "worst" wave this round came about 2 weeks into the WD and lasted about 2 weeks.  The "worst" will not be just one day, but a "period" of time.  Then you will notice some improvement the next few weeks, then again a few weeks after that.  The trick is, you need to look at "blocks of time" NOT any given day or 2 days.  

 

You've only been at this dose 2 weeks,  a lot of people have a bad wave of symptoms for at least that long, so don't panic. My worst wave over all lasted about 3 weeks in October.  Now, that doesn't mean I didn't have relief on and off, but again, you need to look at longer blocks of time.

 

Why any particular "wave" is so rough is hard to determine, but the stress of police work can't help.  But there are other things that can make them worse, like caffeine, too much physical exercise, too much sugar, BEER, in your diet.  Also, if you need to go on an antibiotic during this time, make sure it is NOT one that can cause mental, mood, or neurological changes, like cipro, levaquin,gentamicin, etc.  

 

Also, you had A LOT of different medications the past year:xanax,ativan,neurontin,klonopin,celexa.  These meds affect more than just your brain.  Your entire body is trying to detox and reset, not just your brain.  Sometimes, anxiety is our bodies way of telling us to stop whatever it is that we are doing to it.

 

The problem with withdrawal is, being so misunderstood, your doctor's first reaction is to write you a script for another pill which, as in your case, didn't work out too well.  I almost got put on neurontin as well when I was having such a hard time with the wellbutrin-paxil withdrawal in July that got misinterpreted as neurological issues.  Which, they were, just not for the normal reasons, they were withdrawal related and went away with enough time. Now I'm having another bad round because I didn't wait long enough in between drops.

[Ali4]

I would say dose change has thrown you through a loop, the five weeks you were off, was it extreme WD? That's why you tried reinstating?

[dadto4boys]

Yes Ali it was extremely bad. I was suicidal on a daily basis and both my wife and I decided it would be better if I reinstated at a small dose.

 

I asked for 2.5mg of liquid but the doctor called in 5mg and we didn't notice it until 3 days later.

[Ali4]

i believe it will just take your body a bit of time to work out the changes, I know its been a long road for you, but you will get better, unfortunately it's a matter of time is all, I wake every morning praying I'll be normal again, our day will come soon and we can get back to life, take it easy, I'm here anytime you need someone to talk about "celexa WD", take care.

[SkyBlue]

Hi dadto4, 

 Are you doing any better? 

 

 I just read that you are a police officer -- I really admire that. 

 

Take care and hang in there.

[dadto4boys]

Another crappy day. Last day of work and I'm off for 2 weeks. I really hope I see some improvements in the next 2 weeks.

 

Can anyone offer some reassurance that I'm going to feel better in the future? That this is not permanent?

[Colonial]

2 weeks of no work, as long as you rest and keep it as low stress as possible will go way long way to your recovery.

 

My worst wave lasted about 3 weeks,  you're gonna make it!  

[Ali4]

You will get better,it's not forever, rest and take it easy on days off ☺

[nz11]

 I'm off for 2 weeks. I really hope I see some improvements in the next 2 weeks.

 

Can anyone offer some reassurance that I'm going to feel better in the future? That this is not permanent?

In time i can assure you it will get better. How long that will take no one can say. Surviving this was the most  difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life.

 

Here is a little bit of reading i did on this myself...  I share this with you to inform you not to scare you.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7571-☼-nz11-climbs-onboard/?p=124382

 

There is also a success stories thread. It is well worth your while to spend time reading that.

 

You just have to remember no matter how bad you feel, and no matter how hopeless you feel, and no matter how much you feel you aren't going to make it,....... if you just hold on, you will make it.

 

Unfortunately we may be talking many many months here. And so any accumulated sick leave will disappear like sand between your fingers.

I know you said emphatically that you can't change to lighter duties. But everything is negotiable surely.

I would've thought the police system would have empathy and understanding for your plight.

 

Very sadly this pharmaceutical assault is a crime being perpetrated on society from within the system and not from outside it. 

 

I don't know how the complaint system works in America but are there any authorities or bodies you can complain to regarding this.

This has happened due to no fault of your own it's due to medical negligence and error  and exposure to chemicals that are not fit for human consumption. We have all entrusted our health to a house of cards.

 

You might like to get hold of the book anatomy of an epidemic by Robert Whitaker.

 

Another great book is Pharmageddon by David Healy especially Chapter 7 the 'Eclipse of care'  are you able to get this book from your local library especially look at page 212-216. Basically Healy explains what we are seeing in society with people becoming suicidal on these drugs is totally consistent with the drug trials except it was all hidden by medical/scientific misconduct from the drug companies. Because of that the patient is blamed and not the drug.

 

Wishing you strength.

nz11

[dadto4boys]

Checking in- still feeling exactly the same as I was last week. Nauseous, agitated, on the edge. My doctor suggested it's my anxiety and not withdrawal. I know that's not the case but it's frustrating that she thinks that and I still feel this way.

 

Any thoughts on when this wave might come to an end? I know it's pretty individualized but they weren't lasting as long before reinstating.

[Ali4]

It's unfortunate that we don't know how long the wave will last, I'm sorry your still feeling so sh*tty, I was wondering how you were doing, still the same is not what I was hoping to here from you, has anything improved at all since reinstating? Even the slightest? I believe the 5mg mistake back down too 1mg has caused the spin, it will settle out soon, just got too wait it out, what do you do for your anxiety? Have you had the anxiety the hole time? Ali.

[nz11]

 I believe the 5mg mistake back down too 1mg has caused the spin, it will settle out soon, just got too wait it out.

 

This is an interesting view on it Ali4. I see it a little different.

My take rightly or wrongly is that this small negligible error would be a minor event in light of the effects of the  taper off 60 mg from aug last yr to zero by end of dec. with a yo-yo in the middle. (5 months to taper off 60mg ).

The wdl symptoms are delayed. So this 'stuff' was already coming down the tsunami pipeline anyway prior to the 3 days at 5mg.

When full blown ssri wdl is triggered and it has been with that fast taper from a huge height then it is going to be rough for some time.

 

Dt4b your doctor has an interesting take on it too.

You know what i would consider changing doctors.

There is a thread here of rec doctors.

You could try checking it out to find a doctor who acknowledges anxiety withdrawal.

Kelly Brogan works in NY but i think isn't taking anymore patients. but maybe she could reccommend someone. Justa thought.

 

Stay strong.