success ☼ branyan from PP Genital Anesthesia and PSSD

[bambam]

1 hour ago, branyan said:

 

I never once did that. I accepted full responsibility for my decision. I took issue what felt like you saying 'I told you so' and it considering that if It were possible to have made any other decision than the one I made, I would have made it. This hurt my feelings, and you seem to think that that is my problem.

 

If we can move forward I would still love your viewpoint on the above question:

 

I am not asking you to fortune tell my future. I am asking your for expert opinion. In other words, if the viewpoint that PSSD is permanent nerve damage, perhaps that can't heal much. If it is hormonal balance, perhaps that CAN heal. I don't think in terms of 100% or 0% recovery. I am evidence that much of my recovery was MORE than good enough. I am confident I will heal again. I was interested in your scientific view of PSSD/SSRI/Medication withdrawal/damage and your viewpoint of how it improves. I.ie persistent vs permanent changes.

 

 

Thank you.

So you recovered  from withdrawal then went back on meds? Not judging at all just trying to follow along here 

[branyan]

2 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

So you recovered  from withdrawal then went back on meds? Not judging at all just trying to follow along here 

 

That is correct. I made it about 12 years off medication. Then i got very loud tinnitus and couldn't sleep for 6 months. Then my mom got diagnosed with ALS and began the slow slide to being a vegetable. I couldn't cope and wanted to die. Medication saved my life. Unfortunately, the byproduct was additional PSSD. Who knows if I will regain my functions back. I suspect I will. I am off all meds now, you can check my signature 🙂 

[branyan]

There is some life down there today and things are beginning to feel a bit more connected. I am also sleeping really well and feel really good today. Also have an upset stomach, which ironically for me is kind of good sign. On the meds, I never had stomach problems, but off I always do. To me that is a sign that my dopamine and serotonin are beginning to re-regulate. 

[branyan]

17 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I have told you several times that I don't know. That is my scientific view.

 

Thank you. I understand your view now. I found a wonderful message from you from 2011. It really helped me back then, and it will help me now.

 

Quote

I am sorry you seem to be suffering from PSSD. As you may have seen  
on paxilprogress.org, many people have reported this after stopping  
an antidepressant.

I had this too, for about 3 years after stopping Paxil. Sexual  
sensation gradually came back. I can't say I did anything  
specifically to help recovery from PSSD. (I'm a menopausal woman.) I  
had other withdrawal symptoms that were much worse -- don't get me  
wrong, I was distressed about the PSSD, too.

Your nervous system was fine before you took medication, and it will  
be fine again. For me, it took a long time for sexual sensation to  
gradually come back, but it did. From what you mentioned in your pm,  
this process is already underway. You are younger, if you take care  
of yourself, you probably will recover faster.

PSSD is part of prolonged withdrawal syndrome. Aside from the PSSD,  
which I know is a very serious problem for you, do you have any other  
symptoms? How are you sleeping? Are you getting good nutrition and  
exercise? Good sleep, healthy food, and regular exercise can help  
your nervous system heal. As it heals, your sexual feeling will come  
back, too. Focus on resolving your other symptoms and your PSSD will  
get better too.

If you have sleep problems and can stop ingesting caffeine, you  
should. Caffeine can increase anxiety and interfere with sleep, even  
20 hours later.

I know as a male you might feel this is the worst that could happen,  
and may be desperate to do something about it. First, I have to  
caution you, do not do anything risky. Your nervous system was  
destabilized from taking and withdrawing from various medications.  
Experimenting with other medications may make it worse.

There is a Yahoo discussion group, ssrisex, where people talk about  
PSSD and treatments for it. As far as I know, no one has reported any  
success with drug treatments, even drugs that act on dopamine.

Please do not fall into the trap of thinking you can "balance" your  
nervous system by increasing dopamine or any other neurohormone. You  
cannot "balance" a nervous system with drugs. This is a completely  
false notion that has become popularized by drug advertising. Your  
nervous system was unbalanced by medications; additional medications  
will not put it back to normal. Only time and taking care of yourself  
can do that.

If you are susceptible to sexual side effects from SSRIs, ALL of them  
will cause sexual side effects in you. Please do not blame yourself  
for following your doctor's advice. All of us who have prolonged  
withdrawal syndrome did that.

It may sound awful that it will take months or years for you to  
recover from these drugs. You are not alone. Doctors are not  
knowledgeable enough to prescribe these drugs safely. They have been  
overly influenced by drug company marketing and they do not recognize  
the adverse effects. Patients need to help each other through this.

Try not to feel you are alone. Do what you can to establish good  
relationships with others as friends. Work on developing your  
talents. Keep your spirits up. Treasure your friendships. When you  
are ready to have sex, you will find a kind partner among the people  
you know.

Please stay in touch with me and let me know how you are doing.

Best,

A

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You're welcome.

[anacleta]

Hi Branyan,

 

I have been thinking of you several times since 2014 i.e. at the beginning of my PSSD, when I was reading you on paxilprogress. I was involved in your way of expressing yourself, with which you showed you had a precious sensitivity, when you were explaining the affective meaning/role of your sexuality, when you were in despair and wondered "others have not recovered, why should I?" and when you then had the windows and waves until recovery...starting with that girl outside the hospital who rekindled the fires of attraction a little.

 

I read you in my most distressed period when I too was close to extreme gestures and of course your case gave me hope that my pssd could follow the course of yours... so it didn't... it's been 9 years and I haven't seen any improvement. unfortunately or fortunately I've gotten used to it, I have "only" the sexual symptoms, but that doesn't stop me from having some pleasure from sexual intercourse and having a life as a couple.

 

I still thought of you sometimes, as a creative and good-feeling guy who had left the nightmare behind, and I am sorry to hear that life has again presented you with such serious situations and such unbearable suffering that you decided to take the risk with medication.

 

I think that those who suffer from severe depression and mental distress are doubly unlucky nowadays, because there is not only the terrible suffering itself, but also drugs that are dangerous but sometimes leave few effective alternatives.

 

The research on PSSD is still quite offshore, several hypotheses have been put forward, some are slowly being investigated with studies investigating the effects of ssri more than pssd per se... You can get an idea of the ongoing research on the PSSD wikipedia page... neurosteroids, microbiota, neuropathy, autoimmunity are some hypotheses.

 

The fundamental problem is money, which the pssd community is trying to raise, but it is difficult without contributions from companies and institutions. This is probably the most important fundraiser at the moment, you can read the research directions from the Gofund page. To inform yourself also look at pssdnetwork.org and if you want we have the community on pssdforum.org and on reddit/r/pssd.

 

What can I say, after the first recovery I think you have good reason to be confident in the second one, maybe it will have more or less the same kind of course. I wish you so and that you can reach it with less anguish than the first time.

[branyan]

5 hours ago, anacleta said:

Hi Branyan,

 

I have been thinking of you several times since 2014 i.e. at the beginning of my PSSD, when I was reading you on paxilprogress. I was involved in your way of expressing yourself, with which you showed you had a precious sensitivity, when you were explaining the affective meaning/role of your sexuality, when you were in despair and wondered "others have not recovered, why should I?" and when you then had the windows and waves until recovery...starting with that girl outside the hospital who rekindled the fires of attraction a little.

 

I read you in my most distressed period when I too was close to extreme gestures and of course your case gave me hope that my pssd could follow the course of yours... so it didn't... it's been 9 years and I haven't seen any improvement. unfortunately or fortunately I've gotten used to it, I have "only" the sexual symptoms, but that doesn't stop me from having some pleasure from sexual intercourse and having a life as a couple.

 

I still thought of you sometimes, as a creative and good-feeling guy who had left the nightmare behind, and I am sorry to hear that life has again presented you with such serious situations and such unbearable suffering that you decided to take the risk with medication.

 

I think that those who suffer from severe depression and mental distress are doubly unlucky nowadays, because there is not only the terrible suffering itself, but also drugs that are dangerous but sometimes leave few effective alternatives.

 

The research on PSSD is still quite offshore, several hypotheses have been put forward, some are slowly being investigated with studies investigating the effects of ssri more than pssd per se... You can get an idea of the ongoing research on the PSSD wikipedia page... neurosteroids, microbiota, neuropathy, autoimmunity are some hypotheses.

 

The fundamental problem is money, which the pssd community is trying to raise, but it is difficult without contributions from companies and institutions. This is probably the most important fundraiser at the moment, you can read the research directions from the Gofund page. To inform yourself also look at pssdnetwork.org and if you want we have the community on pssdforum.org and on reddit/r/pssd.

 

What can I say, after the first recovery I think you have good reason to be confident in the second one, maybe it will have more or less the same kind of course. I wish you so and that you can reach it with less anguish than the first time.

 

I remember you very well! And I remember your passage about me being an artist and my relation to sexuality being very comforting to me at the time. While I'm sorry that you didn't see much in the way of improvements in your PSSD over time, I would take stock in the fact that you can enjoy some sexual pleasure in the context of a relationship. Ultimately, that is most of what we can ask for in life. There could have been some other horrible affliction that we could have had. Not to downplay the severity of it. Obviously I have suffered from it and so have you. And it's terrible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

As you may know from my posts I stopped posting because it wasn't a problem. My sex life was fantastic and despite the fact that it would persistently always go back to numbness and PSSD symptoms, it would always swing back the other way too and things would be very connected. Ironically, I found an old message from the paxil progress forms from a gentleman that basically had the same experience I did. By himself. He had almost no sexual function, but in the context of a relationship or with a woman thinks worked very well. That was always my experience. Something about the physical relationship between two people reconnected wires 

 

Now as far as recovery is concerned. I do remember that early on I had almost clear ejaculate. And that over a year or so it got back to a much better place where it was the correct color and  much more of it. So something was happening. Hormonally. I suspect that will happen again with me. I would also oscillate ate between genital numbness, and feeling very connected and sensitive again. And I would also oscillate between low to no libido and feeling asexual, and extremely high libido.

 

I suspect I should have a similar recovery as well and ironically it's hard to tell whether I really did make it or worse or not. Considering the fact that I would persistently go back to PSSD symptoms even in the relationship, and then things would swing back.

In fact, yesterday things went a lot better. I started to feel more connected. The coitus was warmer and deeper and I had better erections. So if that's happening already, I feel positive that things will continue in that direction.

 

Remember I never had a 100% recovery from PSSD. But for me it was a 100%. Because I had a happy, healthy sex life and sometimes it felt very very, very good and I performed very very well. There was always still an element of genital anesthesia, or problems with erections, but oddly enough it's something that just became normal to me and I forgot what it felt like before that. That sounds terrible, but for me that was a good thing. I would accept the times I felt the total PSSD because it would always come back. And this helped me at some point feel that it was a non issue in my life for a considerable period of time.

 

It's good to talk with you here and thank you for your compassion and kindness. It is indeed pretty tough when you have mental health issues and could very much use medication, but also know that medication is the very thing that could cause you additional mental health issues. What a pickle!

 

That's terrible. As it sounds, I stopped looking at PSSD research or any forms or anything related to it because it just wasn't a problem in my life anymore and I didn't feel the need to look for a recovery. But naturally, of course I hope it happens for people and if there was some sort of treatment for it or cure of course I would take it.

[branyan]

Came back to report.

 

-Libido is back mostly

-Erection quality is back mostly

-Quality of Orgasm is mostly back

 

-Sensitivity still lags.

[branyan]

Coming back to report that, thankfully, things are returning to normal!

[branyan]

Seems to be going back and forth like it did 10 years ago. Back to numbness. But good sign that there was some life there.

[branyan]

Mostly just numb down there. I may have permanently screwed myself. 

[branyan]

I was wrong! It was a bad wave.

 

The last two days I have had a great window again. Libido and orgasm quality is coming back, as well as physical functioning. Feeling fortunate.