Autumn- Hello

[Autumn]

Hello.  I have read a lot on this website.  I hope that it is okay that I post here despite not withdrawing from antidepressants myself, thought I can very much relate to symptoms of withdrawal.  I am facing the prospect of going on antidepressants (Zoloft, most likely).  I am terrified of this idea.  I have had pretty major health problems that resulted in a baseline mild depression, becoming very severe at points.  Right now I am in one of those severe episodes.  

 

This is the first time throughout all the years that I have genuinely sought help.  It's the first time that I have really addressed the trauma of the illness and the depression that resulted from it.  This depression has been severe recently and my clinician is recommending I go on medication.  Essentially to start a partial hospitalization program, which I think would be good for me and would want to do, I have to go on medication.  

 

My experience with trauma is tied up in taking prescription medications and having bad reactions, experiencing withdrawals from meds and all that fine stuff.  So that in itself is contributing to my dislike of taking medication.  I also have always felt bad on medication, just off.  It's hard to explain, but I just feel so uncomfortable and not right.  It feels like there's something in my body that shouldn't be there, and I'm always aware of it.  I have tried very hard throughout all my physical illness to be on as little medication as possible for this reason, going the natural route as often as I can.  I am also still recovering physically, and don't want to alter anything in my body.

 

I do not want to go on antidepressants.  I have read many stories that validate my fears of negatively affecting my physical health and my fears of withdrawal, which I have experienced from many other meds.  I don't know what to do because I know I need more help than I am getting, and this seems to be my only option now.

 

I was wondering if I could hear from you.  I'm feeling very lost right now.  Did antidepressants do anything positive for you?  Do you wish you hadn't begun them?

[AliG]

Autumn.        Welcome. We don't recommend medication , here or talk about  which drugs are best !    A/D's do nothing good. Many here have been adversely affected.  If you are wishing to taper off , then we can help .  If not , then I'm not sure.   What are you wanting to do ?

[KarenB]

I believe every single person on this site (and we have over 5000) members would say they wished they'd never started them. 

 

For myself, it was possibly the single most damaging decision I've made in my life.  I don't say that lightly. 

 

There will be another way - search for it with all your heart. 

 

Karen

[AmyK]

Hi and welcome! What kind of medication have you been taking?

Follow your instinct about antidepressants. I am taking zoloft, and it has been really horrible. Wd is sometimes extremely hard.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Autumn,

 

Welcome to SA.  I am really glad you have found this site and have posted your dilemma.  I wish I had never taken antidepressants and agree with what Karen has said.

 

"I do not want to go on antidepressants.  I have read many stories that validate my fears of negatively affecting my physical health and my fears of withdrawal, which I have experienced from many other meds.  I don't know what to do because I know I need more help than I am getting, and this seems to be my only option now."

 

It's great that you recognise that you need help.  I do have a suggestion as an alternative to drugs.  Find a really good supportive therapist (supportive of your decision NOT to take drugs) who is can teach you MCBT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) OR you can do it online yourself.

 

There are many ways/things which are much better than popping a pill.

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes
 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

One member is working with Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks by Barry Mcdonagh.  There are some videos on YouTube.

 

From what I have learnt since doing a CBT workshop online and since being a member here is that understanding how stressors affect us and knowing the signs leading up to the anxiety or panic means we can deal with it before it gets full blown.  Dr Claire Weekes explains it as being a 2nd fear or a fear of the fear.  Dr Weekes was a sufferer so understood it first hand.

 

It is presentation that someone has posted on YouTube about her techniques (CAUTION:  the volume goes UP after the first bit!!!)

 

Claire Weekes Self Help for Your Nerves

 

And this is our topic here on SA:  the-dr-claire-weekes-method-of-recovering-from-a-sensitized-nervous-system/

 

And I found this when I googled:  http://www.anxietycoach.com/claire-weekes.html

 

I hope this helps.  CC

[apace41]

I do not want to go on antidepressants.  I have read many stories that validate my fears of negatively affecting my physical health and my fears of withdrawal, which I have experienced from many other meds.  I don't know what to do because I know I need more help than I am getting, and this seems to be my only option now.

 

Autumn,

 

As far as I'm concerned, the question answers itself here.  You say you don't want to go on antidepressants.  The only reason you are considering this is because your clinician is essentially holding you hostage to the drugs as a means of getting into a program you view as helpful.  You need to find another clinician who will help you without the drugs.  The most important thing in all of this is to be true to you inner voice -- that thing inside you that is telling you that this is not right for you.

 

I can give you tons of statistics about the fact that A/Ds are no better than placebo (when using an active placebo) and that those that take the meds are at significantly greater risk for relapse into depression, and that depressions usually resolve on their own within 6-9 months at the outside, but that is all window dressing.  The pure and simple fact is that you are telling us you don't want to go on antidepressants.

 

As others have posted -- there are alternatives that have been demonstrated as equally or more effective than antidepressants without the side effects or the long term risk profile.

 

So, why would you? 

 

Best,

 

Andy

[bromor]

I have to agree with all the above ~ if I could go back I would NOT have taken the Zoloft.

 

There are other avenues to help ~ i, personally, am consulting with a naturopath & am using the Dare response. Highly recommend it!

 

I'm glad you came here & hope that our advice helps. Take care.

[primekittycat]

You sound like you already have a sensitive system like many of us here do, since you've dealt with withdrawal from other drugs. I would highly recommend NOT going on A/Ds, no matter what you have to do to avoid it. There is therapy, natural supplements. I'm glad you are taking this seriously as I was prescribed A/Ds at 19, not knowing any better when I started having panic attacks when my dad got cancer and passed away. It was prescribed to me willy-nilly. I am tapering Effexor now and it will probably take me a few years to come off. Totally agree with the others here.

[ChessieCat]

One thing to be aware of is that St Johns Wort is a natural version of Prozac.

[Junglechicken]

Avoid ADs at all costs.

 

Not worth the pain and suffering that goes with it.

 

Try every non-drugged method you can to help you recover from your depression.

 

Hugs,

JC

[Autumn]

I want to thank everyone who listened and answered here.  This has been incredibly comforting to me.

 

I want to clarify that I do really like and trust my therapist.  She has never pushed meds on me at all.  We agreed that I needed a higher level of care, so I went to an intake at a partial hospitalization program.  I was actually excited to have a plan and thought this was going to be a good step for me.  After meeting with the clinician there, he said basically that I couldn't do the program without meds.  My therapist agreed with what they were saying but also understood my points and if I didn't want to do the program.  Hence, devastation.  I was so frustrated.  I was asking for help and being denied.

 

My gut is always no medication (of any kind) if I can help it.  But things have been so bad recently I have been wondering, is this even right?  I have loads of professionals telling me that medication is the only and right way.  So I felt like it was my only option because this is the only type of that program and the program seemed like a perfect fit to me.

 

I feel so validated right now having read your responses.  I was doubting my instincts because I was so desperate for help.  Thank you for all your answers, although I'm truly sorry what being able to give that advice has cost you.  Not that I have gone through this myself, but I have experienced withdrawals from some pretty heavy duty drugs so maybe I can relate a tiny bit to what it must be like.  I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy (who right now might be that psychiatrist... so maybe I would wish it).  

[Fresh]

Hi Autumn ,  if the program insisted on you taking meds. to be involved , it clearly isn't the right program for you.

 

Keep looking - the help you want is out there , and will come .   In the meantime , please start to look at supporting your recovery through nutrition.

Magnesium and Omega3's (fish oil)  are recommended , you'll find threads in the Symptoms and Self Care section.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

[KarenB]

I'd have a go at those links Chessie posted - you may find even just starting to learn those things helps bring you out of this place of desperation and frustration.  

 

There is a world of strength in you Autumn, and I'd wager that building up your own 'program' will bring you more success than relying on somebody else's one-size-fits-all-drug-based program. 

 

Hugs,

Karen