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Icandothis

SG I can only imagine what your body was going through with all of the med changes....it truly is the chicken and egg thing when it comes to figuring out hormones vs tapering or a lovely combo of both!

I understand your concern about coming off of HRT while trying to taper...when you had initially had stopped Effexor had you slowly tapered or was it quick?

08/2014 10 mg 8/28/14 switched to liquid 2.5 timeline-9/6/14 2.30=9.2 ...10/03/14 2.07=8.28 ...11/1/14 1.9=7.611/3014 1.72=6.88 ... 12/26 1.54=6.16... 2/16 1.46=5.84 switch to 5% per 3 wks3/14/15 1.38=5.52 ... 4/4/15 1.30=5.2 ...4/25/15 1.24=4.965/16/15 1.18=4.72 ... 6/6/15 1.12=4.48...6/26/15 1.06=4.24 switch to 5%ish per two weeks7/15/15 1.0=4. 7/30/15 .96=3.84 8/13/15 .91=3.64 or .90=3.60 8/29/15 .86=3.44 9/12/15 .82= 3.28 9/26/15 .78=3.12 10/11/15 .74=2.96 10/25/15 .70=2.8 hit a wall been holding since12/26/15 2.5% decrease .68=2.72 1/9/16 .66=2.64 2/6/16 .63=2.52 3/3/16 ,60=2.4 3/26/16 57=2.28 4/30/16 .54=2.16mg 6/4/16 .52=2.08 8/5/16 updose .75=3.0. 9/6/16 1.00=4.0 5mg 2/10/17 6mg 2/17/17 8 mg 3/17/17 7mg ? 3/18/17 6mg 4/1/17 5mg @4/17 4.5mg=1.12 5/19/17 4 mg=1.00ml 7/15/17 .98=3.96

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SquirrellyGirl

SG I can only imagine what your body was going through with all of the med changes....it truly is the chicken and egg thing when it comes to figuring out hormones vs tapering or a lovely combo of both!

I understand your concern about coming off of HRT while trying to taper...when you had initially had stopped Effexor had you slowly tapered or was it quick?

 

It was quick, of my own doing.  I never felt bad up front.  I've always been weird that way, never had start up effects, never put two and two together when I dropped dosages and had mental fallout...since there wasn't an immediate cause and affect, I just never had much awareness as to what was happening to my body and why, while on Effexor or in withdrawal.  

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Icandothis

Oh ok thanks : ) SG and Miss Serene that cake picture : 0. Looks delicious !

08/2014 10 mg 8/28/14 switched to liquid 2.5 timeline-9/6/14 2.30=9.2 ...10/03/14 2.07=8.28 ...11/1/14 1.9=7.611/3014 1.72=6.88 ... 12/26 1.54=6.16... 2/16 1.46=5.84 switch to 5% per 3 wks3/14/15 1.38=5.52 ... 4/4/15 1.30=5.2 ...4/25/15 1.24=4.965/16/15 1.18=4.72 ... 6/6/15 1.12=4.48...6/26/15 1.06=4.24 switch to 5%ish per two weeks7/15/15 1.0=4. 7/30/15 .96=3.84 8/13/15 .91=3.64 or .90=3.60 8/29/15 .86=3.44 9/12/15 .82= 3.28 9/26/15 .78=3.12 10/11/15 .74=2.96 10/25/15 .70=2.8 hit a wall been holding since12/26/15 2.5% decrease .68=2.72 1/9/16 .66=2.64 2/6/16 .63=2.52 3/3/16 ,60=2.4 3/26/16 57=2.28 4/30/16 .54=2.16mg 6/4/16 .52=2.08 8/5/16 updose .75=3.0. 9/6/16 1.00=4.0 5mg 2/10/17 6mg 2/17/17 8 mg 3/17/17 7mg ? 3/18/17 6mg 4/1/17 5mg @4/17 4.5mg=1.12 5/19/17 4 mg=1.00ml 7/15/17 .98=3.96

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I can relate with that anter, bitterness and conflicting feelings of needing social support but hating evryone's guts at the same time. Has anyone found that overeating makes you feel angry? I thought at first it was sugar that was a trigger but I'm wondering if overeating of anything is a trigger? Not sure if it would be blood sugar related or something else?

May 12th 2016 took last bead of effexor. 8 month taper.  Bridge = prozac 5mg, 300mg Lithium

May 31st took last of prozac. Lithium 300 mg, estrogen patch 150, magnesium.

June 14th reinstated 1mg Prozac due to intolerable emotional distress. Cont with lithium 300mg, 150 magnesium, re added omega 3, cont estrogen patch. June 15-july 5th had marked improvement of emotional wd symptoms, likely due to the reinstatement. July 5th intense emotional symptoms returned.

July 15 decreased 50 mg of lithium to see if it improved low heart rate.

July 19th - increased prozac to 1.5mg.

July 22 marked improvement of emotional symptoms...again, likely due to increase of prozac. However sudden agitation developed so decreased back down to 1.25mg prozac. Realizing increasing dose is dangerous because of these adverse effects and also seeing that wave is inevitable regardless of reinstatement.

Continuing 250 lithium, 1.25mg prozac, estrogen.

Oct 31st - continued 250 lithium, 1 mg prozac, estrogen patch.

Jan 2018  - off of prozac (bridge) as of Dec 2017.  Starting to taper Lithium 250 mg.  Will do 10% per month. 

May 2018 - lithium 115mg.  Still having waves but they aren’t as bad.  However, I really struggle with emotional symptoms about 1 week after a cut.  Even this past micro taper of 1.5% was tough.  That was after holding for a month.

dec 2018- 80mg lithium.  Tapering 1 mg per week since last June.  Symptoms improving overall but still very sensitive to light, sound, social stimulation and I cry a lot.

March 2019 - 65 mg lithium.  Still tapering 1mg per week.  

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I am feeling angry, bitterness and conflicting feelings of needing social support but hating evryone's guts at the same time. Has anyone found that overeating makes you feel angry? I thought at first it was sugar that was a trigger but I'm wondering if overeating of anything is a trigger? Not sure if it would be blood sugar related or something else?

May 12th 2016 took last bead of effexor. 8 month taper.  Bridge = prozac 5mg, 300mg Lithium

May 31st took last of prozac. Lithium 300 mg, estrogen patch 150, magnesium.

June 14th reinstated 1mg Prozac due to intolerable emotional distress. Cont with lithium 300mg, 150 magnesium, re added omega 3, cont estrogen patch. June 15-july 5th had marked improvement of emotional wd symptoms, likely due to the reinstatement. July 5th intense emotional symptoms returned.

July 15 decreased 50 mg of lithium to see if it improved low heart rate.

July 19th - increased prozac to 1.5mg.

July 22 marked improvement of emotional symptoms...again, likely due to increase of prozac. However sudden agitation developed so decreased back down to 1.25mg prozac. Realizing increasing dose is dangerous because of these adverse effects and also seeing that wave is inevitable regardless of reinstatement.

Continuing 250 lithium, 1.25mg prozac, estrogen.

Oct 31st - continued 250 lithium, 1 mg prozac, estrogen patch.

Jan 2018  - off of prozac (bridge) as of Dec 2017.  Starting to taper Lithium 250 mg.  Will do 10% per month. 

May 2018 - lithium 115mg.  Still having waves but they aren’t as bad.  However, I really struggle with emotional symptoms about 1 week after a cut.  Even this past micro taper of 1.5% was tough.  That was after holding for a month.

dec 2018- 80mg lithium.  Tapering 1 mg per week since last June.  Symptoms improving overall but still very sensitive to light, sound, social stimulation and I cry a lot.

March 2019 - 65 mg lithium.  Still tapering 1mg per week.  

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Hi Miss Serene

I too can relate here to the neuroemotions I experience the lower I go in my taper. Currently on .6ml of Prozac.

I can be very snappy, lack patience and intolerant of others. Such a contrast to what I was on AD's totally dazed and Would allow others to walk over me.

 

At each stage of the taper it seems to throw up different symptoms or is it we are just more in tune with our bodies and notice more?

 

Can I ask have you noticed increased joint pain and stiffness?

 

I have been diagnosed with arthritis of the hip and awaiting a hip replacement operation.

I suffer with back spasms and pain and this week have been laid up yet again.

I'm beginning to wonder if I really do have the need for a hip operation or is this joint pain all relating to withdrawal?

So happy to have found another tapering from Prozac.

Reflex

Dec 2005 prozac following period of bullying by collegue 2006 changed to Citalapram 20- increased to 40mg

April 2014 decision to come off A.D. Gp appointment swapped to seralatine (lustral)50 as a means of getting off A.D .

raised to 100. 14.7.14 5 weeks taper on doctors recommendation.28th July finished reduction. 4.8.14- 9.9.14 severe withdrawal effects. 13.10.14 reinstatement of 20mg Prozac.dec 2014 started gradual taper 10% every 3 weeks. 14.9.15 1.6 ml currently. Some minor withdrawal effects but holding firm. 10% reduction every 3 weeks. Reached .8 experienced withdrawal symptoms held for longer . 7.4.16 currently on .7ml Prozac. More difficult the lower you go. 25.7.16 holding at .57 ml for a while as period of stress and withdrawal.

2.9.16 Hip operation prescribed codeine and paracetamol for the pain. Stopped after three weeks for fear of addiction. following period of instability and withdrawal symptoms updosed to 1. Ml 28.10.16.

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I, too, have been put on inositol for "irritability" (among other symptoms, like blood sugar, sleep, etc.)

 

I used to take 1g a day in evening, trying to shift my delayed cycle sleep - this was iHerb stuff - NOW or Puritan's Pride or VitaCost or something (I don't remember now)  I had just quit it when my ortho-doc suggested it.

 

I told her, I'd trialed it to no great effect.  She said:  Get it compounded from your pharmacist.  I'll write a script.  It's just 655 mg, and you will feel a difference right away.  She said to start with 2 a day (I started with one:  KISS principle!) and then add extra when I'm irritable.

 

I'm now up to 2 a day, plus when I get "extra crunchy" I can take an extra.  It's nice to have something I can take PRN like that.

 

Overall, it doesn't feel as "shifting" as a magnesium bath - that, to me is the ultimate attitude adjustment (well, besides karate, and now, yoga - which is getting more vigorous).

 

It's a milder thing, not really a shift - just a gentle settling of the spiky, crunchy, irritable mood.

 

Now that I'm totally off the lithium, awareness of how I'm perceived by others is the best feedback I have for inappropriate anger.  It would be nice, ideally, to be able to recognize it from within.  The best I can do so far is - when I'm getting all titchy, sometimes I "hear my mother's voice" - the critical, nothing-is-ever-good-enough, nobody-can-win voice.  Ah.  Breakthrough.  I don't need Mom right now, and I can let her go.

 

When I was younger, that voice overlapped so much with my own, I did not know how abrasive I was.  She didn't, either, until she was abandoned by us kids.  We simply told her "nobody wants to be around that."  After a few years alone, she has modifed herself, but at what cost?  (she's very repressive, in addition to being oppressive).  Maybe that's why she had to start the xanax.   :unsure:

 

Sometimes when I visit her, I will hear "that voice" in the way she talks to her cats (I'm too entangled with her to hear it in the way she talks to me, and she would never talk to beloved hubby that way!).  Something inside me wilts when I hear it, and I think, OMG, do I do that, too?  Someone said here - awareness is the first step to repairing these things!

 

But - now - I recognize her voice overlaying mine.  And if I remove that tone, like on a mixing board, just dial it down, I'm left with my authentic voice.  And sometimes I find that my authentic voice is much more compassionate than this conditioned, critical one. :)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 1 month later...

JanCarol, I get the same way around my Mom. Only with her she has always been verbally abusive.  Sometimes I just cant stand being around her, then I cant stand being around myself because Im sure I sound just like her.  Ive been dealing with so much anger spells since getting off Paxil that I think ill try that  inositol to see if it works for me.  Is there more then one kind?

Started on ad's in the mid 90's.  

Amitriptyline , prozac , Wellbutrin, 'zoloft, effexor, trazodone,   remeron, Paxil, cymbalta 

xanax, buspar, lyrica, gabapentin, sam e, 5htp, L tryptophan, There were other ad's but I cant remember them all. 

Ambien, lunesta, cyclobenzaprine,

levothyroxine

Last ad was  Paxil, 60 mg.  I did a 6mt tapor, 

Only meds at this time is the levothyroxine, fish oil, folic acid, and unisom 

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  • 1 month later...

About 1.5 weeks ago, 24th Aug, after 10 months of drop dose of lexapro (20mg-10mg). I started having big big angry moods due to I have received a parking fine in front of my home. Then I shouted, argued with my Mum and friend. I noticed this was bad enough but I couldn't control this. 


 


The day after next day, I started feeling big guilty, regret what I have done to my Mum and crying myself. Then after that I felt guilty, bit crying feeling everyday. Then I noticed also got very intense anxiety OCD thoughts and very very sensitive to any emotional things. I was thinking about I will get big depression or bi-polar, because someone told me if I angry like that, this is kinda bi-polar. 


 


Recent couple days, my symptoms were getting worse: bruised feeling in the chest, tummy, feet!!! And felt very weak! Still very sensitive to anything happened. The digestiion was poor and lots of acid produced since three days ago. 


 


Last night, I was lying on the bed, stomach was awful and heart palp was fast. Then suddenly a thought break through my mind: you have no hope to heal, this is not withdrawal and now you started depression, go to die.


 


I was really really scared about that thought and think think over again and again! That made me extremely anxiety, fear and scared. I really believe my situation is getting worse and maybe horrible things will come in the future. 


 


Can anyone tell me what's going on? What is my symptom now? Is this depression? My drop dose of Lexapro has been 10 month now, I saw lots of improvement before all these happening, but why this time worse than the first time I started WD?


 


I found here are some friends similar to my situation but I still can't tell why the thoughts were so horrible! I never thought of life is boring or suicidal but now it seems I am upgrading to that stage. If any had these experience?


2006 October Zoloft 50mg for anxiety.

2013 March Lexapro 10mg for 18 months to 2015 September.

2015 September increased to 20mg for 7 weeks but getting worse. 3rd November dropped back to 10mg

2016 11th November taper to 9mg

2017 3rd March Taper to 8.8mg, then Fast taper start: 10th-8.6mg, 12th-8.2mg, 17th-8.0mg, 22rd-7.7mg, 27th-7.4mg.

April 2nd- 6.9mg (WD start), 19th-6.5mg. Failed one day Cymbalta trial, took back Lexapro, much worse Akathisia torture. Keep holding. 

May 22nd- 6.3mg, June 10th- 5.7mg, Nov- 4.4mg, Dec- 4.3mg,

2018 Jan- 4.1mg 

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I used to get fits of rage when I would do a drastic cut of say 50%. It very seldom Involved anybody else, it was just purely being angry at myself. I would roar and I mean roar like a maniac, punch doors, hop pans of the door - it's felt like pure unadulterated wickedness coming out. Apart from a small blip now and again, I don't get this now I'm on the slow taper.

May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

 

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.

March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.

23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg

23.07.16 40.5mg 23.08.16 36.45mg 27.09.16 34.65mg 24.10.16 32.90mg 28.11.16 31.26mg 04.01.17 32mg 25.02.17 31mg 22.03.17 30mg 14.04.17 29mg 09.05.17 28mg 07.06.17 27mg 08.06.17 26mg 13.07.17 25mg 07.08.17 24mg 24.08.17 23mg 13.09.17 22mg 12.10.17 21mg 10.11.17 20mg 04.12.17 19mg 01.01.18 17mg 25.01.18 15mg 22.02.18 13.5mg 25.03.18 12.15mg 

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  • 2 months later...

I also have been dealing with rage, anxiety, panic attacks, and crying spells. I really hope it starts to fade because I don't know how much more I can take or my husband for that matter. Usually starts with anxiety and Then I feel like I just snap and can't control my own words or actions. It's been soooo horrible. I've been off zoloft 3 months now and thought I was over the anger stage, but had an episode last night and just feeling upset with myself and going through crying spells today. I'm still trying to figure out how to prevent this. It's been so long since I've been myself I feel that I'm losing myself. I've read articles about rage and zoloft, but sometimes I worry that it's going to be the new me :(

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NEW!!!              INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder               NEW!!! 

 

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015  Current from 14 Nov 2020:  Pristiq 0.50 mg

My tapering program                                      My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

 

REMINDER TO SELF:  I don't need the drug now, but my still brain does.

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OMG...purpleacacia and Lakelander82.....scarry to read your posts and see me in there. It has been 5 months totally off AD Celexa. Irritability and rage off the scale, especially at this election. Can't fathonm why I am soooo angry, mad, torn up inside, with no outlet except screaming at the top of my lungs in my car while driving till I loose my voice.  Crying spells, unbelieveable loneliness, and despair. I think I need to talk to someone again, a counselor perhaps. As a caregiver for work in a hospital, it is becoming unbearable.

2002 was prescribed 20mg Celexa for depression and anxiety, prescribed for several life altering events: spouse cancer diagnosis, surgery and recovery, death of parent, loss of career/income/career path all within 1 year.

2005-2007 briefly on 10mg Wellbutrin, but stopped it.

 

WITHOUT NOTIFYING PRESCRIBING DOCTOR started taper.

Dec. 2015, started tapering off Celexa from 40 to 20mg

February 2016 20mg to 10mg

April 2016 tapered from 10 to 5mg

May -June 2mg to 2.5mg

Last Celexa 2.0mg June 2, 2016

Now totally off meds.Withdrawl symptoms were horrible: nightmares and vivid terrifying dreams, nausea, exhaustion, disassociation, depersonalization<p>Residual effects that are ongoing: resurgence of depression and anxiety, intense fear, sometimes severe; muscle aches and onset of unusual muscle pain (plantar fasciitis, shoulder bursitis), loss of interest in daily activities; depersonalization; disassociation, nausea, extreme exhaustion, body aches, loss of taste, especially for alcohol.

 

Aug 30 2016: Recurrence of low, despondent, depressed mood. No interest in any activities I used to have. Feel melancholic all the time, though I laugh and enjoy some things. Waves and Windows....experiencing more down than middle...few ups. Sometimes weepy, sometimes flat, sometimes surprisingly jealous of other people who appear to be successes ( that's a new feeling I was totally dead to under the Celexa!). Very hard to dig up the feeling of being content.

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I think the anger, irritability etc is just the anxiety morphed into a different emotion and I suppose it all boils back to the unstable nervous system. Even people making sounds with pots and pans etc can just go straight through me and make me irritable. I'm going to hold as long as it takes this time, because I know I'm not stable at present (it's been two a half weeks since my last cut).

Edited by ChessieCat
removed "obscenity"

May 2007 - October 2007 Citalopram 20 mg od. 1st Antidepressant ever taken. No problem with fast taper and no withdrawal effects. No antidepressants for over 5 years.

 

January 2013 started Citalopram 20mg.

March 2014 Switched to Sertraline 50 mg od.

23rd June 2016 started taper 45mg

23.07.16 40.5mg 23.08.16 36.45mg 27.09.16 34.65mg 24.10.16 32.90mg 28.11.16 31.26mg 04.01.17 32mg 25.02.17 31mg 22.03.17 30mg 14.04.17 29mg 09.05.17 28mg 07.06.17 27mg 08.06.17 26mg 13.07.17 25mg 07.08.17 24mg 24.08.17 23mg 13.09.17 22mg 12.10.17 21mg 10.11.17 20mg 04.12.17 19mg 01.01.18 17mg 25.01.18 15mg 22.02.18 13.5mg 25.03.18 12.15mg 

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  • 1 month later...

Thank you all so much for sharing on this topic. I, like all of you, have been raging and then beating myself up for doing it. These leads to overgiving out of the guilt, then back full circle again. I am hypersensitive to noises (especially those that my husband innocently makes ie: snoring, chewing, etc) and also to smells.

 

My problem is this: I have ten years off SSR and SNRI medications. It was shortly after a brief attempt to treat my "depression" with wellbutrin that the raging started. I found myself driving into a field and around in circles going faster and faster. I wanted to run my (then) boyfriend over for whatever dumb reason. I have always ALWAYS been a very careful driver, never a ticket.

 

At that time, I checked into a hospital (for the third time, the first due to panic, the second due to depression) and was told I was bipolar and given a cocktail of medications. I stopped them all promptly but continued with the same symptoms. I went to another hospital and this time was more "compliant" with the medications because obviously there was "something" very wrong with me. I was very clearly told I was bipolar, most likely II, possible I, and that if I wasn't it was because I was a "borderline (personality disorder)."

 

I freaked at that point. Borderline? I was much more willing to take the bipolar diagnosis along with the meds and so starts another round of med types to try and "fix" that diagnosis. Add to that a recent diagnosis of "fibro" which put me on two more medications that create havoc with seratonin and neurepinepherine and also calcium channel blockers and gaba: Lyrica and tramadol.

 

I send prayers and/or best wishes to you all and I hope you will hold me in your hearts too. The more I check into this, the more I realize I have been on so many nasty medications over the last 20 years. I pray that I can have some sense of healing and wholeness as I am now 65 and would greatly appreciate a few years of joy and happiness before my time here comes to an end.

 

Either that or I end up rolling down the rest of it alone, because I kicked everyone to the curb who had me gritting my teeth, which would be everyone today. Ugh.

Past meds-1989 one month of trilafon inpatient, then Pamelor and trazadone for one year. :(

 

Next past meds: 1991-2004- SSRIs and SNRIs including prozac, paxil, zoloft, celexa, lexapro, wellbutrin all standard doses except prozac up to 100mg thru 2005; topamax 2004 thru 2013, 50mg trazadone PRN thru current but not taking while on tramadol. Detoxed from prozac when I quit smoking and I was on 80mg prednisone for a month (what fun that was, not). Detoxes always resulted in feeling crazy, hyper, anxious, agitated and was immediately placed on "different" med and which ultimately led to being diagnosed with bipolar II and a new round of options starting somewhere around 2004... :wacko:

 

Current meds-100mg lamictal 2005 var thru current (no apparent wd); clonazepam 0.5mg 2004 thru 1.5mg current alternate occasionally with 0.5mg xanax; 20mg baclofen 2015 thru current (I don't always take full dose); 75mg tramadol down from 100mg and 37.5mg lyrica down from 150mg both of these from August thru current. :unsure:

 

Attempting to detox from back to front. And, just for general info, none of my psych meds have ever "worked" for any length of time for either depression or mania, and nothing ever removed my anxiety except my first round of prozac, the benzos, and the trilafon (which removed pre tty much everything). :angry:

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  • 3 months later...

The logical side of my brain knows this is, well...ILLOGICAL. But still, there is this dark side of me that is bitter and angry and just wants to punch people (well, 2 people I work with only) in the face. I'm working hard on staying present and separating the reality from these deranged emotions, but I hate being like this! I feel like a bad person or something.

 

I'm supplementing and eating healthy, and I even got a fluoride filter for my water. I'm sleeping in total darkness to get optimal sleep, and working very hard on maintaining custody of my eyes/ears (keep the negative out, let the positive in). And still, I can't stand this side of me.

 

I don't want to go back on the Zoloft, not even a little bit. I'm able to control how I ACT towards people (outwardly), they just don't know that inside, I want to choke them. If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

 

Please, any advice or encouragement on this matter?

Started on 50 mg of Zoloft in 2013, quit abruptly by choice, then returned about a year later (the doc put my on 75 mg). Stayed on that dose for a couple years until I was discovered sleep walking, after which the doc put my on 100 mg (you know, to control the sleep problems the drugs brought on, but I digress). After realizing I don't like feeling numb, with no sex drive, and chronic diarrhea, I began tapering down over the course of a year. Am now 3 weeks on 0 mg, and am looking for answers to when (if ever) my brain will be back to normal again.

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I'm not sure what to tell you other than as somebody who is not on or has never been on ssris, I also want to punch a lot of people in the face and choke a fair few too.

 

I think many of us do.

 

Good luck to you my friend

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How you view other people will change as you heal more, TA. What you are experiencing are neuro-emotions.

 

For more on that, check here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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How you view other people will change as you heal more, TA. What you are experiencing are neuro-emotions.

 

For more on that, check here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

 

SJ

Thank you! I will read up on that!

Started on 50 mg of Zoloft in 2013, quit abruptly by choice, then returned about a year later (the doc put my on 75 mg). Stayed on that dose for a couple years until I was discovered sleep walking, after which the doc put my on 100 mg (you know, to control the sleep problems the drugs brought on, but I digress). After realizing I don't like feeling numb, with no sex drive, and chronic diarrhea, I began tapering down over the course of a year. Am now 3 weeks on 0 mg, and am looking for answers to when (if ever) my brain will be back to normal again.

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i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

I'm definitely in an anger stage today. I can't really let my anger out right now because I am at home with my wife and daughter. It would frighten them. On the meds, I was a very angry person. Right now I am angry because of what these drugs did to me, to all of us. I'm angry on all of our behalfs. I'm in ohysical pain, emotional pain, and I wonder if I will ever be free of the pain, or ever happy again.

 

I am going to try to cope with this anger by relaxing with my back on a heating pad (my bad back has become worse since withdrawal started, and I can't take even over-the-counter pain meds because I am so sensitive to everything right now) and praying. Then maybe I'll read some comic books.

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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brassmonkey

Lay on the heating pad with your legs up the wall. It's a very restful and calming position.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

I'm definitely in an anger stage today. I can't really let my anger out right now because I am at home with my wife and daughter. It would frighten them. On the meds, I was a very angry person. Right now I am angry because of what these drugs did to me, to all of us. I'm angry on all of our behalfs. I'm in ohysical pain, emotional pain, and I wonder if I will ever be free of the pain, or ever happy again.

 

I am going to try to cope with this anger by relaxing with my back on a heating pad (my bad back has become worse since withdrawal started, and I can't take even over-the-counter pain meds because I am so sensitive to everything right now) and praying. Then maybe I'll read some comic books.

 

SJ

 

 

hi SJ I totally agree with what u say ,especially about showing anger around your loved ones ,this is a big no no.

I also have pain going through my body ,I have started to do Epsom salt baths not sure yet what relief it brings yet.

.

i take over the counter pain meds but its probably just placebo affect and a waste of money.

the last month i haven't been able to exercise like normal so my normal stress release is taken away ,i worked most of this week so that has appeased my destructive self critic   somewhat :( .

I'm angry because I'm struggling to even taper off the poison let alone cold turkey off them.

 

Today my main aim is to get out for a walk in the sun .

 

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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I am home today, I even have some take-home work I am doing so I am earning money today... I am perfectly safe. And yet I am still having an anxiety attack since waking up. Emotional and physical symptoms. Nothing is helping. I prayed. Fern prayed. I took my magnesium. Drank decaf black tea with added theanine in it. I am sitting in a relaxed position on the couch and doing my work. I even had soft worship music going at one point (I'm using the dishwasher now as white noise background).

No relief. God, please help me!

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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brassmonkey

Hi SJ-- I'm sorry you're having to put up with the anxiety, it can be a real trial to get through.  I haven't mentioned the concept of AAF in a while and this would be a good place to do it.  

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thanks, BrassMonkey. I have been trying this, but the way you put it helps put it in perspective.

 

I am also in a bit of a "chicken and egg" situation - sometimes the physical symptoms that "feel" like anxiety drive the emotional anxiety, sometimes it's the other way around. It's the darn "electrical" feeling in my arms and legs that literally drive me crazy. They almost never leave me. Though some nights around 8pm they finally calm down enough for me to relax a little. It's like a mini-window. When those evenings first came, I would think "this is it, tomorrow I wake up normal!" But that has not been the case....

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

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Yesterday I was extremely irritable and felt angry and snappy. Every little detail would enrage me: why people are not replying to my emails, the train that left while I was 2 steps away, couples kissing on public transport sitting opposite me, or just being noisy or playful with each other...

 

I felt like shouting at people and hitting them....

 

I don't come close to acting this out but God, it takes a lot of energy to control those impulses and it's awful to be around me (for my boyfriend who has incredible amount of patience with me but sometimes just gets hurt by my aggression ;(

 

I also noticed that these hightened irritability and aggression appear as an introduction into general destabilization.

 

I'm just venting out but if anyone has a comment or a suggestion on what to do to deal with it, it's very welcome.

 

Just knowing it's a probably a neuroemotion, helps to deal with it...

I hear you! Yesterday I had a doctor appointment (not AD related), and one of my co-workers asked how it went. Without a second's thought, I just blurted out "none of your business, it's personal." Thinking back on it now, I can't believe myself! To be fair, she is a very nosey person, but still, all I had to say was "fine" and walk away.

 

I really have to slow down, take a deep breath, and THINK before I talk. Good advice for life in general, I guess. Not just ADWD. But you're not alone, trust me!

Started on 50 mg of Zoloft in 2013, quit abruptly by choice, then returned about a year later (the doc put my on 75 mg). Stayed on that dose for a couple years until I was discovered sleep walking, after which the doc put my on 100 mg (you know, to control the sleep problems the drugs brought on, but I digress). After realizing I don't like feeling numb, with no sex drive, and chronic diarrhea, I began tapering down over the course of a year. Am now 3 weeks on 0 mg, and am looking for answers to when (if ever) my brain will be back to normal again.

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brassmonkey

Here is another link that I think the two of you might find interesting:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Here is another link that I think the two of you might find interesting:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/

 

I am totally haunted by these spirals ,dam its a pain ,the last 4 months has been terrible with it ,I practice mindfulness and this is extremely helpful at catching the thought ,just caught a nasty one lately before it actually developed into a panic attack .

The mornings when I wake for up to an hour are the worst ,its like a speaker that I cant turn off in my head .

withdrawal or not mindfulness is a huge helpful tool for keeping our thoughts becoming feelings . 

 

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Thesearepowerfuldrugs: Getting off Effexor permanently
  • Moderator
manymoretodays

Dealing with anger during SSRI withdrawals

This is certainly worth a read and may be helpful in managing anger, irritability, and rage during withdrawal.

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Managing anger
  • 7 months later...
On 8/29/2011 at 7:28 PM, alexjuice said:

Mod note August 2018:

Please also see:  Dealing with Emotional Spirals

Phases of SSRI withdrawal

Lalochezia! The cursing thread.

And please be careful out there while self regulation is off.  Breathe, pause and.........  if need be, ask for help from another educated enough around withdrawal for help.  Avoid situations temporarily where you might feel provoked.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

For instance, I went to a group therapy session where I was corrected by the psychologist. I was talking about my relationship with my former psychiatrist and said I was comforted by the fact that I could speak about him confidentially. The facilitator corrected me and said she could contact my shrink to discuss my case at her discretion. I was surprised by this, and casually said i didn't think i'd signed a release for that. She said that a release made no difference but that I didn't need to worry b/c she wouldn't call him.

 

Alex

Personally, I find this behavior on the part of the psychologist (of the group therapy session) very arrogant, and demeaning to you.  I would have been quite angry myself.  It sounds to me like he/she was throwing their weight around, and making a possible threat.  I would certainly not have felt safe in that group after this experience.  I think the comment was inappropriate, and not supportive or helpful to anyone.  It sounds like he/she was on a bit of a power trip. 

 

Personally, I had a very bad experience with a power hungry and highly critical group therapy facilitator in the past, so my response is probably biased by that.  

Lexapro   April02 - Aug17: 10 mg,  ***  Aug17 - Sept17: 5 mg ***  Sept17 - Nov17:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov17: 0 mg, ***   Dec17 - Aug18: 5 mg  ***    Aug/1/18 - Aug/30/18: 2.5 mg     *** Sep/1/18 - Sep/27/18:  1.25 mg. ***   Sep/28/18 - Oct/31/18:  2.5 mg,  ***  Nov/1/18 - Nov/15/18: 1.25 mg  ***   Nov/16/18 - Nov/30/18: 2.5 mg  ***   Dec/1/18 - Dec/27/18: 2.0 mg (switched to liquid)  ***    Dec/27/18 - Jan/31/19: 1.5 mg ***    Feb/1/19 - Feb/20/19: 1.0 mg  ***  Feb/21/19 - Mar/7/19: 0.5 mg  ***  Mar/8/19 - May/03/19: 0.8 mg ***   May/04/19 - May/13/19 0.7 mg ***  May/14/19 - May/24/19 0.6 mg *** May/25/19 - June/05/19. 0.5 mg *** June/06/19 - July/19/19 0.4 mg. ***  July/20/19 - Sep 14 2019 0.3 mg.  ***  Sep 15 2019 - Oct 21 2019 0.27 mg. *** Oct 22 2019 - Jan 18 2020 - 0.23 mg. *** Jan 19 2020 - April 1 2020 0.2 mg  ***  April 2 2020 - July 15 2020 0.18 mg *** July 16 2020 - August 22 0.17 mg, August 23 -- Oct 6 0.16 mg, Oct 7 - Nov 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - present 0.14

Trazodone.  used 50 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19

Xanax. used 0.5 mg once every 4-7 days for sleep, have discontinued altogether as of 12/23/19 

When I cannot go to sleep, I take Benadryl 50 mg, Ibuprofen 800 mg, or Tylenol 1000 mg

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mag. in AM 1/2 hour before breakfast with 24 ounces water

supplements AM: omega 3 fish oil, flax seed oil, natural multivitamin, vitamin C, vitamin E

supplements PM: Natural Calm magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, 5-HTP 50 mg. Estroven Sleep Cool and Calm (contains black cohosh 40 mg, soy isoflavones 56 mg) melatonin 3 mg

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  • 8 months later...

Originally titled:  Homicidal thoughts? (mod note: added to existing topic)

 

Does anyone else have homicidal rage and ideation years into withdrawal? I’m certain I won’t act on anything since it’s been on and off for years and I can barely hurt a fly, so no need to worry, but the rage is enough to want to hurt anyone around me, anyone else get mood swings that severe??? 

Edited by manymoretodays
mod note

Was put on SSRIS at age 18, came off at 20 due to side effects, have been in withdrawal ever since, am 27 now. 7 years of protracted withdrawal. have not been able to work. I didnt taper, i basically came off cold turkey in less than a month....no one informed me of anything, including protracted withdrawal . my symptoms include absolutely everything you can imagine, you name it, i have it 

 

 

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Yes! I wouldn’t hurt a fly either but I could strangle the doc who prescribed me ADs that I took for a year and have spent fifteen years in hell trying to recover from. So yes, I have fantasies about strangling her.

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readyfortheworld

Hey ryguy,

 

I dealt with homicidal thoughts and rage when I initially started withdrawing. It’s scary but what helped me was avoiding watching anything violent and meditating. Also, accepting the thoughts  as they are and not fighting them. It took awhile but they eventually went away

Adepsique: January 2016 - July 2016 (took half a pill in the mornings for 6 months) the dosage was 5 mg of amitriptyline, 1.5 mg of diazepam, and 1 mg of perphenazine 

 

Escitalopram: 10 mg: July 2016 - April 2018

Olanzapine 2.5mg: July 2016 - October 2017

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Haven't had that but ADs cause violent behavior in children and young adults. Had heard theories that school shooters often are on ADs and it could be an AD effect rather than a depression effect as is often claimed. (This I heard from friends so not sure of the source). I think Breggin writes about violence caused by psychiatric drugs. I hope they go away soon and don't torment you.

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg ,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months (don't remember dates), trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up), occasionally did this in difficult times 

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax/day, then 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, April  14 , 2019 - citalopram 1.8 mg (liquid), May 8, 2019 - citalopram 1.6 mg (liquid),  July 27, 2019 - citalopram 1.5 mg (liquid),  August 15, 2019 - citalopram 1.35 (liquid)

 

 supplements:  melatonin 1 mg  

 

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manymoretodays

Hey,

I added your comments to this pre-existing topic on Managing Anger. @Ryguy  @icequeen  @readyfortheworld

I don't get so much rage Ryguy, as irritable and angry moments.  I've had to learn to pause, or step away from situations........at worst, I may verbally respond to stuff too soon.   Then I just feel inadequate and a bit stupid.   I get a bit of a frontal headache along with the flashes of internal irritable/angry.  

However, I fully expect as I grow in meditation, and other practices, I will be a calmer nervous system human all around.  Getting there all the time.......B)🤓

 

And added a new link in the first post in this topic,  to an online program called aims from the US VA(veterans affairs) trainings.

I have not worked through the modules myself.......yet.........may take a look soon, so post if you access it and it is helpful please make note here in this topic.

In my 12 step group we call it "murderous intent" 

 

I think some irritability, anger, frustration can generally be expected, with WD from any of the psychoactives @Onmyway.  Of which there are so very many.  Good reason to really hone up on skills before getting completely off medications.  Yes, Dr. Breggin writes about it.

 

Best all.  Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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