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alexjuice

Managing anger

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Icandothis

SG I can only imagine what your body was going through with all of the med changes....it truly is the chicken and egg thing when it comes to figuring out hormones vs tapering or a lovely combo of both!

I understand your concern about coming off of HRT while trying to taper...when you had initially had stopped Effexor had you slowly tapered or was it quick?

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SquirrellyGirl

SG I can only imagine what your body was going through with all of the med changes....it truly is the chicken and egg thing when it comes to figuring out hormones vs tapering or a lovely combo of both!

I understand your concern about coming off of HRT while trying to taper...when you had initially had stopped Effexor had you slowly tapered or was it quick?

 

It was quick, of my own doing.  I never felt bad up front.  I've always been weird that way, never had start up effects, never put two and two together when I dropped dosages and had mental fallout...since there wasn't an immediate cause and affect, I just never had much awareness as to what was happening to my body and why, while on Effexor or in withdrawal.  

 

SG

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Icandothis

Oh ok thanks : ) SG and Miss Serene that cake picture : 0. Looks delicious !

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Help777

I can relate with that anter, bitterness and conflicting feelings of needing social support but hating evryone's guts at the same time. Has anyone found that overeating makes you feel angry? I thought at first it was sugar that was a trigger but I'm wondering if overeating of anything is a trigger? Not sure if it would be blood sugar related or something else?

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Help777

I am feeling angry, bitterness and conflicting feelings of needing social support but hating evryone's guts at the same time. Has anyone found that overeating makes you feel angry? I thought at first it was sugar that was a trigger but I'm wondering if overeating of anything is a trigger? Not sure if it would be blood sugar related or something else?

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Reflex

Hi Miss Serene

I too can relate here to the neuroemotions I experience the lower I go in my taper. Currently on .6ml of Prozac.

I can be very snappy, lack patience and intolerant of others. Such a contrast to what I was on AD's totally dazed and Would allow others to walk over me.

 

At each stage of the taper it seems to throw up different symptoms or is it we are just more in tune with our bodies and notice more?

 

Can I ask have you noticed increased joint pain and stiffness?

 

I have been diagnosed with arthritis of the hip and awaiting a hip replacement operation.

I suffer with back spasms and pain and this week have been laid up yet again.

I'm beginning to wonder if I really do have the need for a hip operation or is this joint pain all relating to withdrawal?

So happy to have found another tapering from Prozac.

Reflex

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JanCarol

I, too, have been put on inositol for "irritability" (among other symptoms, like blood sugar, sleep, etc.)

 

I used to take 1g a day in evening, trying to shift my delayed cycle sleep - this was iHerb stuff - NOW or Puritan's Pride or VitaCost or something (I don't remember now)  I had just quit it when my ortho-doc suggested it.

 

I told her, I'd trialed it to no great effect.  She said:  Get it compounded from your pharmacist.  I'll write a script.  It's just 655 mg, and you will feel a difference right away.  She said to start with 2 a day (I started with one:  KISS principle!) and then add extra when I'm irritable.

 

I'm now up to 2 a day, plus when I get "extra crunchy" I can take an extra.  It's nice to have something I can take PRN like that.

 

Overall, it doesn't feel as "shifting" as a magnesium bath - that, to me is the ultimate attitude adjustment (well, besides karate, and now, yoga - which is getting more vigorous).

 

It's a milder thing, not really a shift - just a gentle settling of the spiky, crunchy, irritable mood.

 

Now that I'm totally off the lithium, awareness of how I'm perceived by others is the best feedback I have for inappropriate anger.  It would be nice, ideally, to be able to recognize it from within.  The best I can do so far is - when I'm getting all titchy, sometimes I "hear my mother's voice" - the critical, nothing-is-ever-good-enough, nobody-can-win voice.  Ah.  Breakthrough.  I don't need Mom right now, and I can let her go.

 

When I was younger, that voice overlapped so much with my own, I did not know how abrasive I was.  She didn't, either, until she was abandoned by us kids.  We simply told her "nobody wants to be around that."  After a few years alone, she has modifed herself, but at what cost?  (she's very repressive, in addition to being oppressive).  Maybe that's why she had to start the xanax.   :unsure:

 

Sometimes when I visit her, I will hear "that voice" in the way she talks to her cats (I'm too entangled with her to hear it in the way she talks to me, and she would never talk to beloved hubby that way!).  Something inside me wilts when I hear it, and I think, OMG, do I do that, too?  Someone said here - awareness is the first step to repairing these things!

 

But - now - I recognize her voice overlaying mine.  And if I remove that tone, like on a mixing board, just dial it down, I'm left with my authentic voice.  And sometimes I find that my authentic voice is much more compassionate than this conditioned, critical one. :)

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redangel

JanCarol, I get the same way around my Mom. Only with her she has always been verbally abusive.  Sometimes I just cant stand being around her, then I cant stand being around myself because Im sure I sound just like her.  Ive been dealing with so much anger spells since getting off Paxil that I think ill try that  inositol to see if it works for me.  Is there more then one kind?

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Rain

About 1.5 weeks ago, 24th Aug, after 10 months of drop dose of lexapro (20mg-10mg). I started having big big angry moods due to I have received a parking fine in front of my home. Then I shouted, argued with my Mum and friend. I noticed this was bad enough but I couldn't control this. 


 


The day after next day, I started feeling big guilty, regret what I have done to my Mum and crying myself. Then after that I felt guilty, bit crying feeling everyday. Then I noticed also got very intense anxiety OCD thoughts and very very sensitive to any emotional things. I was thinking about I will get big depression or bi-polar, because someone told me if I angry like that, this is kinda bi-polar. 


 


Recent couple days, my symptoms were getting worse: bruised feeling in the chest, tummy, feet!!! And felt very weak! Still very sensitive to anything happened. The digestiion was poor and lots of acid produced since three days ago. 


 


Last night, I was lying on the bed, stomach was awful and heart palp was fast. Then suddenly a thought break through my mind: you have no hope to heal, this is not withdrawal and now you started depression, go to die.


 


I was really really scared about that thought and think think over again and again! That made me extremely anxiety, fear and scared. I really believe my situation is getting worse and maybe horrible things will come in the future. 


 


Can anyone tell me what's going on? What is my symptom now? Is this depression? My drop dose of Lexapro has been 10 month now, I saw lots of improvement before all these happening, but why this time worse than the first time I started WD?


 


I found here are some friends similar to my situation but I still can't tell why the thoughts were so horrible! I never thought of life is boring or suicidal but now it seems I am upgrading to that stage. If any had these experience?


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Lakelander82

I used to get fits of rage when I would do a drastic cut of say 50%. It very seldom Involved anybody else, it was just purely being angry at myself. I would roar and I mean roar like a maniac, punch doors, hop pans of the door - it's felt like pure unadulterated wickedness coming out. Apart from a small blip now and again, I don't get this now I'm on the slow taper.

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Purpleacacia

I also have been dealing with rage, anxiety, panic attacks, and crying spells. I really hope it starts to fade because I don't know how much more I can take or my husband for that matter. Usually starts with anxiety and Then I feel like I just snap and can't control my own words or actions. It's been soooo horrible. I've been off zoloft 3 months now and thought I was over the anger stage, but had an episode last night and just feeling upset with myself and going through crying spells today. I'm still trying to figure out how to prevent this. It's been so long since I've been myself I feel that I'm losing myself. I've read articles about rage and zoloft, but sometimes I worry that it's going to be the new me :(

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LemonOreo

OMG...purpleacacia and Lakelander82.....scarry to read your posts and see me in there. It has been 5 months totally off AD Celexa. Irritability and rage off the scale, especially at this election. Can't fathonm why I am soooo angry, mad, torn up inside, with no outlet except screaming at the top of my lungs in my car while driving till I loose my voice.  Crying spells, unbelieveable loneliness, and despair. I think I need to talk to someone again, a counselor perhaps. As a caregiver for work in a hospital, it is becoming unbearable.

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Lakelander82

I think the anger, irritability etc is just the anxiety morphed into a different emotion and I suppose it all boils back to the unstable nervous system. Even people making sounds with pots and pans etc can just go straight through me and make me irritable. I'm going to hold as long as it takes this time, because I know I'm not stable at present (it's been two a half weeks since my last cut).

Edited by ChessieCat
removed "obscenity"

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rocovering

Thank you all so much for sharing on this topic. I, like all of you, have been raging and then beating myself up for doing it. These leads to overgiving out of the guilt, then back full circle again. I am hypersensitive to noises (especially those that my husband innocently makes ie: snoring, chewing, etc) and also to smells.

 

My problem is this: I have ten years off SSR and SNRI medications. It was shortly after a brief attempt to treat my "depression" with wellbutrin that the raging started. I found myself driving into a field and around in circles going faster and faster. I wanted to run my (then) boyfriend over for whatever dumb reason. I have always ALWAYS been a very careful driver, never a ticket.

 

At that time, I checked into a hospital (for the third time, the first due to panic, the second due to depression) and was told I was bipolar and given a cocktail of medications. I stopped them all promptly but continued with the same symptoms. I went to another hospital and this time was more "compliant" with the medications because obviously there was "something" very wrong with me. I was very clearly told I was bipolar, most likely II, possible I, and that if I wasn't it was because I was a "borderline (personality disorder)."

 

I freaked at that point. Borderline? I was much more willing to take the bipolar diagnosis along with the meds and so starts another round of med types to try and "fix" that diagnosis. Add to that a recent diagnosis of "fibro" which put me on two more medications that create havoc with seratonin and neurepinepherine and also calcium channel blockers and gaba: Lyrica and tramadol.

 

I send prayers and/or best wishes to you all and I hope you will hold me in your hearts too. The more I check into this, the more I realize I have been on so many nasty medications over the last 20 years. I pray that I can have some sense of healing and wholeness as I am now 65 and would greatly appreciate a few years of joy and happiness before my time here comes to an end.

 

Either that or I end up rolling down the rest of it alone, because I kicked everyone to the curb who had me gritting my teeth, which would be everyone today. Ugh.

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TABaker

The logical side of my brain knows this is, well...ILLOGICAL. But still, there is this dark side of me that is bitter and angry and just wants to punch people (well, 2 people I work with only) in the face. I'm working hard on staying present and separating the reality from these deranged emotions, but I hate being like this! I feel like a bad person or something.

 

I'm supplementing and eating healthy, and I even got a fluoride filter for my water. I'm sleeping in total darkness to get optimal sleep, and working very hard on maintaining custody of my eyes/ears (keep the negative out, let the positive in). And still, I can't stand this side of me.

 

I don't want to go back on the Zoloft, not even a little bit. I'm able to control how I ACT towards people (outwardly), they just don't know that inside, I want to choke them. If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

 

Please, any advice or encouragement on this matter?

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Henry

I'm not sure what to tell you other than as somebody who is not on or has never been on ssris, I also want to punch a lot of people in the face and choke a fair few too.

 

I think many of us do.

 

Good luck to you my friend

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powerback

i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

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ShakeyJerr

i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

I'm definitely in an anger stage today. I can't really let my anger out right now because I am at home with my wife and daughter. It would frighten them. On the meds, I was a very angry person. Right now I am angry because of what these drugs did to me, to all of us. I'm angry on all of our behalfs. I'm in ohysical pain, emotional pain, and I wonder if I will ever be free of the pain, or ever happy again.

 

I am going to try to cope with this anger by relaxing with my back on a heating pad (my bad back has become worse since withdrawal started, and I can't take even over-the-counter pain meds because I am so sensitive to everything right now) and praying. Then maybe I'll read some comic books.

 

SJ

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brassmonkey

Lay on the heating pad with your legs up the wall. It's a very restful and calming position.

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powerback

 

i coped lately with my anger and rage by punching a pillow realy hard and leting out emotion and i felt relief .dont ever let anyone tell u your damaged because u feel these emotions .there is perfectly healthy ways to release these emotions and its human to feel.

I'm definitely in an anger stage today. I can't really let my anger out right now because I am at home with my wife and daughter. It would frighten them. On the meds, I was a very angry person. Right now I am angry because of what these drugs did to me, to all of us. I'm angry on all of our behalfs. I'm in ohysical pain, emotional pain, and I wonder if I will ever be free of the pain, or ever happy again.

 

I am going to try to cope with this anger by relaxing with my back on a heating pad (my bad back has become worse since withdrawal started, and I can't take even over-the-counter pain meds because I am so sensitive to everything right now) and praying. Then maybe I'll read some comic books.

 

SJ

 

 

hi SJ I totally agree with what u say ,especially about showing anger around your loved ones ,this is a big no no.

I also have pain going through my body ,I have started to do Epsom salt baths not sure yet what relief it brings yet.

.

i take over the counter pain meds but its probably just placebo affect and a waste of money.

the last month i haven't been able to exercise like normal so my normal stress release is taken away ,i worked most of this week so that has appeased my destructive self critic   somewhat :( .

I'm angry because I'm struggling to even taper off the poison let alone cold turkey off them.

 

Today my main aim is to get out for a walk in the sun .

 

PB

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ShakeyJerr

I am home today, I even have some take-home work I am doing so I am earning money today... I am perfectly safe. And yet I am still having an anxiety attack since waking up. Emotional and physical symptoms. Nothing is helping. I prayed. Fern prayed. I took my magnesium. Drank decaf black tea with added theanine in it. I am sitting in a relaxed position on the couch and doing my work. I even had soft worship music going at one point (I'm using the dishwasher now as white noise background).

No relief. God, please help me!

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brassmonkey

Hi SJ-- I'm sorry you're having to put up with the anxiety, it can be a real trial to get through.  I haven't mentioned the concept of AAF in a while and this would be a good place to do it.  

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

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ShakeyJerr

Thanks, BrassMonkey. I have been trying this, but the way you put it helps put it in perspective.

 

I am also in a bit of a "chicken and egg" situation - sometimes the physical symptoms that "feel" like anxiety drive the emotional anxiety, sometimes it's the other way around. It's the darn "electrical" feeling in my arms and legs that literally drive me crazy. They almost never leave me. Though some nights around 8pm they finally calm down enough for me to relax a little. It's like a mini-window. When those evenings first came, I would think "this is it, tomorrow I wake up normal!" But that has not been the case....

 

SJ

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TABaker

Yesterday I was extremely irritable and felt angry and snappy. Every little detail would enrage me: why people are not replying to my emails, the train that left while I was 2 steps away, couples kissing on public transport sitting opposite me, or just being noisy or playful with each other...

 

I felt like shouting at people and hitting them....

 

I don't come close to acting this out but God, it takes a lot of energy to control those impulses and it's awful to be around me (for my boyfriend who has incredible amount of patience with me but sometimes just gets hurt by my aggression ;(

 

I also noticed that these hightened irritability and aggression appear as an introduction into general destabilization.

 

I'm just venting out but if anyone has a comment or a suggestion on what to do to deal with it, it's very welcome.

 

Just knowing it's a probably a neuroemotion, helps to deal with it...

I hear you! Yesterday I had a doctor appointment (not AD related), and one of my co-workers asked how it went. Without a second's thought, I just blurted out "none of your business, it's personal." Thinking back on it now, I can't believe myself! To be fair, she is a very nosey person, but still, all I had to say was "fine" and walk away.

 

I really have to slow down, take a deep breath, and THINK before I talk. Good advice for life in general, I guess. Not just ADWD. But you're not alone, trust me!

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powerback

Here is another link that I think the two of you might find interesting:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13492-dealing-with-emotional-spirals/

 

I am totally haunted by these spirals ,dam its a pain ,the last 4 months has been terrible with it ,I practice mindfulness and this is extremely helpful at catching the thought ,just caught a nasty one lately before it actually developed into a panic attack .

The mornings when I wake for up to an hour are the worst ,its like a speaker that I cant turn off in my head .

withdrawal or not mindfulness is a huge helpful tool for keeping our thoughts becoming feelings . 

 

PB

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getofflex
On 8/29/2011 at 7:28 PM, alexjuice said:

Mod note August 2018:

Please also see:  Dealing with Emotional Spirals

Phases of SSRI withdrawal

Lalochezia! The cursing thread.

And please be careful out there while self regulation is off.  Breathe, pause and.........  if need be, ask for help from another educated enough around withdrawal for help.  Avoid situations temporarily where you might feel provoked.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

For instance, I went to a group therapy session where I was corrected by the psychologist. I was talking about my relationship with my former psychiatrist and said I was comforted by the fact that I could speak about him confidentially. The facilitator corrected me and said she could contact my shrink to discuss my case at her discretion. I was surprised by this, and casually said i didn't think i'd signed a release for that. She said that a release made no difference but that I didn't need to worry b/c she wouldn't call him.

 

Alex

Personally, I find this behavior on the part of the psychologist (of the group therapy session) very arrogant, and demeaning to you.  I would have been quite angry myself.  It sounds to me like he/she was throwing their weight around, and making a possible threat.  I would certainly not have felt safe in that group after this experience.  I think the comment was inappropriate, and not supportive or helpful to anyone.  It sounds like he/she was on a bit of a power trip. 

 

Personally, I had a very bad experience with a power hungry and highly critical group therapy facilitator in the past, so my response is probably biased by that.  

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Ryguy

Originally titled:  Homicidal thoughts? (mod note: added to existing topic)

 

Does anyone else have homicidal rage and ideation years into withdrawal? I’m certain I won’t act on anything since it’s been on and off for years and I can barely hurt a fly, so no need to worry, but the rage is enough to want to hurt anyone around me, anyone else get mood swings that severe??? 

Edited by manymoretodays
mod note

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icequeen

Yes! I wouldn’t hurt a fly either but I could strangle the doc who prescribed me ADs that I took for a year and have spent fifteen years in hell trying to recover from. So yes, I have fantasies about strangling her.

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readyfortheworld

Hey ryguy,

 

I dealt with homicidal thoughts and rage when I initially started withdrawing. It’s scary but what helped me was avoiding watching anything violent and meditating. Also, accepting the thoughts  as they are and not fighting them. It took awhile but they eventually went away

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Onmyway

Haven't had that but ADs cause violent behavior in children and young adults. Had heard theories that school shooters often are on ADs and it could be an AD effect rather than a depression effect as is often claimed. (This I heard from friends so not sure of the source). I think Breggin writes about violence caused by psychiatric drugs. I hope they go away soon and don't torment you.

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manymoretodays

Hey,

I added your comments to this pre-existing topic on Managing Anger. @Ryguy  @icequeen  @readyfortheworld

I don't get so much rage Ryguy, as irritable and angry moments.  I've had to learn to pause, or step away from situations........at worst, I may verbally respond to stuff too soon.   Then I just feel inadequate and a bit stupid.   I get a bit of a frontal headache along with the flashes of internal irritable/angry.  

However, I fully expect as I grow in meditation, and other practices, I will be a calmer nervous system human all around.  Getting there all the time.......B)🤓

 

And added a new link in the first post in this topic,  to an online program called aims from the US VA(veterans affairs) trainings.

I have not worked through the modules myself.......yet.........may take a look soon, so post if you access it and it is helpful please make note here in this topic.

In my 12 step group we call it "murderous intent" 

 

I think some irritability, anger, frustration can generally be expected, with WD from any of the psychoactives @Onmyway.  Of which there are so very many.  Good reason to really hone up on skills before getting completely off medications.  Yes, Dr. Breggin writes about it.

 

Best all.  Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

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