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Yogagirl - a little about me


Yogagirl

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Hi. This is my first time posting on here. I have been reading a few posts for a while and found it really helpful and informative. I hope I can share and help others in some small ways as well.

 

My story has been 'a year from hell'. I will not go into the ins and outs of medications and dosages I have been on in the last year suffice to say I have made some silly mistakes, and others that have been advised by so called experts that have both nearly killed me. My kids have kept me going. Somehow I have managed to hang on to my full time job which I'm very grateful for. The problems started with marriage issues. We are still together, it has been a rough ride, but my husband is 100% supportive.

 

I'm my twenties and late thirties I had been on Fluoxetine before for short periods of time but nothing had equipped me for what I have just been through. I still don't think the story is over, but after reading 'The Antidepressant Solution' I feel I am hopefully in a place where I am now 'taking control' of my mental health. Although I'm still terrified of getting that desperate feeling again.

 

I am currently just on 30mg Mirtazapine having stopped Sertraline 25mg (after 5 months) and Quetiapine 50mg (after 4 weeks) recently. So far my withdrawal symptoms from these 2 meds has been bearable. But a little later on when I have been stable for a while I will tackle the Mirtazapine with a VERY slow taper. I will not take the pdoc's advice that there should be 'no problem' stopping Mirtazapine cold turkey ????. From this site I hope to get some much needed support for the rest of my journey to coming off AD's.

Take care everyone and thank you for listening????.

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Yogagirl,

 

Nice to meet you :).  Sounds like you are getting things sorted out after a difficult time.  There'll be plenty of support for you here for the rest of your journey off antidepressants. 

 

In case you haven't seen it, here's the info on Tapering Mirtazapine.  Glad to read you are planning to go slow - it's certainly the best way.  You've probably read that we recommend tapering by no more than 10% every month.  Or you could do a micro-taper.  (Which is what I'm doing).

 

You may find that you start to experience more withdrawal symptoms, as your taper off Sertraline was very fast.  If things do start to get difficult, you could consider reinstating it at a lower dose in order to stabilise and then do a slower taper.  In any case, it's good you are planning to stabilise for a few months.  

 

Thanks for writing a signature.  This thread will be your journal to record your healing progress, and your place to ask questions about your situation.  It's good to have you here.

 

Welcome to s/a,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Hi Karen

 

Thanks for replying. By reading your 'signature' it seems like you have had a rough road. It's such a shame that so many people have fallen prey to this over-prescribing of AD's. It makes me so angry. But I sincerely hope you are now on the road to recovery. Do you hope to come off all meds eventually?

 

I am keeping a record of my symptoms and rating them as set out in the book 'the Antidepressant Solution' and I'm finding this very useful. I am now starting to be able to distinguish between withdrawal symptoms and not just thinking it is me or a problem with work or my relationship. So far these symptoms have been less than 5/10 and usually get better as the day goes on so it is helping a lot. If they get higher over a number of days I will have to consider reinstating. Fingers crossed

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Yogagirl, 

 

Glad you found us. I am glad you found The Antidepressant Solution, too. Isn't it a wonderful book? I'm using his symptoms checklists and find them very useful. I print them off from his web site and I find that filling them out just takes a few minutes a day, and really gives me an idea of patterns. Well, usually there aren't any predictable patterns, lol! 

 

We have similar histories so let me know if I can answer any questions. If I forget to check back to this thread, feel free to message me. 

 

Hang in there.

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Yogagirl (and SkyBlue),

 

Welcome to SA,

 

Just dropping by to let you know that there are checklists for the Month here dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/ that you might find useful.

 

There is an Excel Spreadsheet version, a PDF to print and a blank PDF to print to add your own symptoms.

 

CC

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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Yes, my aim is absolutely to be off all drugs.  I will never take any again.  Hmm, yesterday I had a little fun at my doctor's visit.  Doctor always starts off by saying 'what can I do for you today?' and this time I said 'I need more of those damaging drugs please.'  She looked very taken aback, and then a mixture of amused and empathetic, and asked me how I was getting on. 

 

I had decided to say this because I don't know why I should pretend that all is normal in this situation.  And I felt a lot better for saying it too. 

 

That's great you are recording symptoms.  Always makes for easier decision-making if you can identify changes or patterns.  My fingers are crossed for you too. 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Thank you all for replying. I feel very happy to be part of this community and hope I can help others as well

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So I am having a rough day today. Of coarse in my impatience to come off the Mirtazapine I started a 10% cut 7 days a go. Things had been going pretty well so I thought it was time. Today I feel very weepy and the future looks bleak, I feel I will never fully recover and will always have anxiety and depression (or more accurately uncontrollable crying).

 

My problem is that I don't know how much of these symptoms are from this very small drop in Mirtazapine (30mg to 27mg) and how much are due to my ongoing stress with my relationship. My husband had an affair 3 years ago, we were apart 18 months and then when I was feeling very vulnerable decided to take him back. That was 12 months ago. He has been trying very hard but the problem is I'm just not sure if I truly love him anymore. I want things to work for the sake of our 2 beautiful children but I find it hard to just 'let go' and truly embrace him again. A lot of things annoy me about him and I find I am very 'picky' and judgmental about everything he does. We go around in a cycle where I feel low, begin to suggest that maybe we would be better apart, then the guilt sets in and I basically beg him not to go, because I feel so bad for possibly causing our family apart again. The stress of this decision making is taking its toll on me, but I truly don't know what to do.

 

Hoping others may have been through a similar situation and shed some light for me.

 

Thank you

 

Yogagirl

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Yogagirl ,   you also don't know what symptoms are from stopping seroquel 3 weeks ago , or protracted withdrawal

symptoms after tapering off sertraline in 2 weeks which finished only a month ago.

 

" But a little later on when I have been stable for a while I will tackle the Mirtazapine with a VERY slow taper."

 

If you had written that you were going to start tapering mirtazapine you would have been warned against it.

You may want to bump the mirtazapine back up to 30mg , and wait a good 2 months to assess the total fallout from

your fast tapers before thinking about reducing it again.

 

bw ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Fair comment Fresh. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I'm hating the weight gain from the Mirtazapime and want to reduce for that reason but yes my marriage is more important right now.

 

Thanks for your response.

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

We're all impatient YG , but the consequences are too high to give in impulsively.

If I were you , I'd go back to 30mg mirt. until things have settled.  We have to taper smart , not fast ;).

It's pretty likely that your irritability with hubby is at least in part drug - induced.  Emotions become magnified and intensified.

This isn't a permanent thing , but it's dangerous to make big decisions based on unstable emotions.

Try reading this thread on  

Neuro emotions

 

If I were you , I'd go back to 30mg mirt. until things have settled.  We have to taper smart , not fast ;).

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Yogagirl,

 

You might find these helpful in understanding what is happening:

 

Brain Remodelling

 

Video: Healing from Antidepressants: Patterns of Recovery

 

Also, these might help too:

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 
We need all the tools we can get.  And the main one we need is definitely patience!!!
 
Once I understood what the brain needs to do, it helped me to accept that my role in this is to be patient and as stress free and calm as possible and let the brain do what it needs to do.

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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Hi. God I feel awful. I reinstated back to 30mg Mirtazapine on the 29th of March so 5 nights ago. I felt my symptoms subside a little for a couple of days but yesterday and today I'm feeling highly anxious again and hate myself. I've started to doubt everything in my life again and my ability to cope. I know I was stupid to try a drop so soon, even if it was only 3mg. Has anyone else reinstated and if so how long did I take for the symptoms to subside?

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yogagirl , could you give more details of how you tapered sertraline , dates , doses etc.

"End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks."

 

Also same details about how you tapered quetiapine.

"4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks)"

 

There's more going on here than just a decrease then updose of mirtazapine.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Hi Fresh

 

I was on a Sertraline dose of 25mg since Nov 2015. I tapered from that amount over 2 weeks, as advised by Dr alternating days, and finished 16 Feb. I suffered badly with badly with Sertraline right from the start but didn't come off it sooner because I didn't want to start Mirtazapine and taper Sertraline at the same time in case of start up/ withdrawal and not knowing which was causing which.

 

The Quetiapine was less than one month, advised by Psychiatrist to use 'as needed'. I never took more than 50mg a day. After I read 'the antidepressant solution' I realised I needed to come off this drug before I quickly became reliant on this as well. I had a few days of anxiety after finishing both these drugs but I would have to say overall I was much better after stopping both (especially Sertraline).

 

Today I feel almost totally normal so I'm very baffled. Maybe I'm readjusting to going back to 30mg mirt. The other thought I had was that I may have been quite dehydrated the last few days. I have been running and notice I always feel worse the day after a run. Either way I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get stable again I can not believe that I can feel so different from one day to the next, like Dr Jekyl... Yesterday I felt almost completely hopeless today completely normal!

 

Thank you

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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Yup back to a really bad day today :(. Has anyone had a bad fallout from taking 2 X 5mg diazepam a couple of days after taking them? Wondering if this could what's making me especially bad to day?

Mar 2015 - Fluoxetine 20mg. Tapered over 2 months finished Aug 15.

Sep 2016 - 50mg Sertraline, HRT.

Oct 2015 - Stopped HRT, Sert 100mg then back to 50mg.

Nov 2015 - Pdoc appt. 30mg Mirtazapine / 25mg Sert.

Feb 2016 - Pdoc added 50mg Quetiapine.

Read: 'The Antidepresant Solution' - penny dropped!

End Feb 2016 - Finished taper off 25mg Sert over 2 weeks.

4 Mar 2016 - Finished Quetiapine 50mg after 1 week taper (only on it for 4 weeks).

13 Mar 2016 - Only taking 30mg Mirt for past week. Not too bad. Plan is to hopefully stabilise for a few months then VERY slow taper.

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