MNgal1960: need to get off of 3 meds

[brassmonkey]

Hi MNgal-- Twitching is a very common WD symptom and nothing to be afraid of.  It's unpleasant but not dangerous.  Gentle massage can help with the little ones. For the foot kicks, I developed "Happy Feet" just kept them constantly moving just a bit which really helped.  Also keeping my legs and feet warm and elevated.  The outbreaks tend to come in waves and will subside in a few days.

[MNgal1960]

Thank you, Brass Monkey. Oh how I hope this only lasts a few days. It's so scary because of what happened with the toxic reaction to Prozac. It wasn't w/d, but the drug itself, which I had only taken for 4 or 5 days at a low dose. It got worse and worse for months before it began to subside. And this is starting exactly the same way and acting exactly the same way.

 

Warm and elevated...I had never thought of that. I will try it when I am trying to relax tonight. This is so frustrating because I can no longer rest or relax at all and I am so very, very tired. And that darn neuropathy just won't let up either.

 

I wonder if this could just be from dissolving my V. Or maybe it's because I didn't wait long enough after my very short Q (partial) taper. I am scared to start tapering the V when this is happening.

[MNgal1960]

Day after day of neuropathy. Where did my windows go? I hope it's not too late to try a slight updose of the Seroquel because I am losing my mind.

[Shep]

Hi, MN.

 

You did get some relief before from an updose of Seroquel - in your signature, you went from 16.5 mg back up to 17 in Sept and got some relief. 

 

In your signature, it also says you are now dissolving all of your tablets. What exact date was this in November? In your signature, you're questioning if the neuropathy is from the Q suspension. Are you still thinking it could be from that? 

[MNgal1960]

I updosed to 19mg of Q. I have to suspend it and drink it right away.

 

I liquefied my first V tablet Oct. 2nd and waited and did another and waited and did another. It took a month, so I was all all liquid Nov. 1st, I think.

 

This morning I am having lower neuropathy. It never goes away any more. The depression is horrible, too. Bad circumstances feel like giant weights crushing me and I don't want to live. The pain and fear are too big. Of course, no one understands. If I tell my new therapist she will try to put me on another med. She doesn't even know I'm tapering. I've only seen her twice. She's nice but I don't know how she can help me.

 

I still wonder if it was cutting the Q. I remember my symptoms got  worse when I got to some point in the Q and I thought maybe it was because I was bad at cutting. So I went to suspending and tried to go on. I gave up reducing when my sleep got poor. I held a couple of weeks and thought I was getting more windows and was OK. Then I did the very slow dissolving over the course of a month. Pain and emotional symptoms came back, but were tolerable for awhile. I had lots of periods of low symptoms. Then a complete reversal over the past 2 weeks. Worse and worse. Except for this morning. Neuro is still there, hitting me here and there and moving around. It's very scary. But it's not as intense as it's been. I do get periods where it drops lower and I can quickly get dressed and go to the store or get a haircut, but mostly I am at home. Clothes hurt my skin. Depression makes it hard to move. I cry and cry and wish so much I had someone to talk to who understood. Maybe the crushing weight would not feel so heavy.

 

Also very worried about my kids. They are young adults, but seem to have some kind of mental health problems. Probably from watching me decline like this and their father being completely absent. They have no other family around. I imagine if I were in their shoes, watching their only parent/relative fall apart, I would be anxious and depressed, too.

[MNgal1960]

Had to do a gabapentin increase (extra 300mg at bedtime) in attempt to get some sleep during very long, horrible neuropathy flare. Only 2 days and want to go right back down again. Is that OK?

[tntd]

I would think that would be ok. I don't think your body would get too attached in two days. I know I've read on Benzo Buddies sometimes a buddy will updose for a day or two and then drop back down to where they were. It probably depends on the individual though. I hope someone more in the know responds.

 

Hugs

[MNgal1960]

Thanks, tntd. That makes sense. My primary doctor said it was OK to take it short term now and then. Of course, doctors don't know about soooo much! Or we wouldn't be in this mess, would we?

 

MN

[MNgal1960]

I decided not to take the extra gabapentin last night. Sleep was dreadful. Woke up so many times.

 

I am really getting worn out from being on two different liquids that I must make and measure and am thinking about up-dosing the Q back to the whole tablet and just focusing on getting off the V.

 

Another concern is I keep wondering if I am messing up with one of my homemade liquids (because my symptoms are so bad for so long) and being on two gives me two to worry about. The Q is especially worrisome because it is a suspension in plain water. I can't afford a suspending liquid.

 

I hate the Q but it is pretty obvious I cannot get off it now and having it in suspension for what looks like years while I get off the V is making my life and my daughter's life very difficult. I have to suspend and drink it every night at a time she is wanting to go to bed and we are both very tired.

 

If I were to go back to the 25mg tablet, would I jump up all at once or go up a few steps at a time over a few days? Or is it a bad idea to do that? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated!

[MNgal1960]

Meanwhile...I've been reading more about Seroquel. The only thing I found from all of my searching is that nobody seems to know if these really low doses are dangerous or not.

[tntd]

I don't know about the Q but I do know that with long acting benzo's the w/d sxs can last for weeks before they settle back to baseline so even if you are not messing anything up it could be causing you sxs for awhile.

[scallywag]

MNgal, it's reasonable to assume lower risk with lower dose.

[MNgal1960]

Thank you.

 

Well...I found out my daughter mixed up my gabapentin doses when she put them in their little cups (each with the time on it). So I went from 300mg extra gabapentin 2 nights and then shorted 100mg the next. Naturally, sleep was awful. And then she was very noisy at 5:45AM getting ready for work this morning. I don't know why it takes her 2 hours to get out the door, but I listened to all of it. I am just exhausted!

 

I'm just holding at all my current doses right now and not making any decisions for awhile. My brain is so tired.

 

One good thing was my neuropathy was low most of yesterday.

 

Sorry, too tired/fuzzy to write more. Need sleep.

[MNgal1960]

Neuropathy has been up and down but I think the trend is down. Holding all meds another week.

[MNgal1960]

Thanks, TJ. I have decided I need to be a snail at this. Smaller cuts, longer holds. If I could just be patient I probably would not suffer so much. Live and learn!

 

MN

[MNgal1960]

Starting up again with the smallest cut my syringe will allow and only every other day. I am a chicken snail! But even chicken snails eventually cross the finish line.

[tntd]

Are you tapering the V again? 

[KarenB]

Starting up again with the smallest cut my syringe will allow and only every other day.

I may be reading this wrong, but does it mean you are going to alternate doses day by day? 

[MNgal1960]

Yes, I am cutting and what I am trying to say is I cut one day and hold one day and cut one day and hold one day.

[tntd]

Do you know how much you will be tapering every other day?

[ChessieCat]

Hi MNgal,

 

Instead of alternating days, you could dilute it so you would have a weaker dose and it would be easier to measure.  Doing this and taking the same dose every day would be a better way to keep things as stable as possible.

 

This graph shows the difference in daily dosing compared to skipping.  I realise you won't be skipping full doses, but you will be alternating doses which is very similar just on a smaller scale.  Skipping Days vs Every Day Dosing Graph

[MNgal1960]

I am not skipping days. I am cutting one day and holding the next. So I take the same dose 2 days in a row, then reduce, repeat. So I think I am daily dosing, right? I am really just being paranoid. The goal is to make the same tiny cut each day.

[ChessieCat]

Oh, okay, thank you for explaining.

[MNgal1960]

Not much to report. Snail tapering my benzo. Weather has been nice for March. I always get the urge to go somewhere around this time of year. Maybe a nice long drive to visit my family in Minneapolis. But I can't even drive across town!   Cabin fever robs me of my sense!

[MNgal1960]

It's April and I need to pause my taper for a month or two while I tend to some other issues. Glad I got to a nice even number on my syringe!

[tntd]

I love being at nice even numbers on my syringe. It makes things so much easier

 

I hope your hold goes well.

 

Hugs,

 

T

[MNgal1960]

Thanks, t. The hold was OK. Other stress was unbearable but thankfully is over. Something else going on with my extended family that I just heard about yesterday and is very upsetting. Trying not to ruminate. Back to cutting again. Trying once/week rather than daily cuts so I always hit the easy-to-read line on the syringe. Pure laziness! I think each cut is about 1% right now. I plan to do it every Sunday and see how it goes.

[tntd]

Hi MN,

 

Good luck with starting your tapering again. 

 

I hope things settle out with your extended family and it doesn't cause too much stress for you. 

 

Hugs,

 

T

[MNgal1960]

Thanks, t!!!!

[MNgal1960]

Wow, I think I figured out the new site format! Maybe.

[MNgal1960]

Found out the brand of Q that I take for sleep has been discontinued so have to switch. I checked all the other brands and found their binders and fillers are very different from my brand. I wonder what will happen when I run out of my Q and need to switch brands. I wonder if I should pause my V taper when I have to switch my Q.

[brassmonkey]

It would probably be a good idea to hold the V while you make the change.  Is it possible to get a supply of both of the Q tablets so you could do a "cross taper" over several weeks?  We usually recommend that people treat a brand change like any other dose change event and allow several weeks for things to stabilize after the change, before continuing any sort of taper.  Most people don't have a problem, but it's good to be cautious.

[MNgal1960]

Thanks, brass. Sadly, my old brand is used up and gone and my new bottle is all the new brand. My doctor did agree to let me hold the V for one week to switch Q brands and then resume my V taper. That's what I'm doing now.

[brassmonkey]

It's better than nothing.  With any luck things will go smoothly with the cross over.  Most people don't have problems'

 

I hope everything is going well otherwise.

[MNgal1960]

Thanks. Not too much trouble changing brands this time. I'm going to try to get a bit ahead of my scripts so I don't get an abrupt change again.

[brassmonkey]

Even when tapering it's a good idea to refill your prescriptions on a regular basis (usually every 30 days) as the refills become available.  This way a person can build a back log of tablets because the taper causes them to use the drug at a rate that is slower than the prescription calls for.  Having a back log supply of tablets makes is so you don't have to rely as much on the doctors, the medical establishment and can more easily control brand changes.  By the end of the third year of my taper I had a big enough back log to last the rest of the five and a half years with a huge supply still in reserve.  It's a very good practice to help us regain and maintain control.