Delia: taking carbamazepine

[Delia]

I feel like nuts today and keep writing here. My boss is behaving completely irrational today which gives me the stimulus to take off this wrecked ship. Because of that I had to take an extra 1 mg of Clonazepam, only making me realize I won't continue like this. I will make it an exception by giving up standing all this in my situation, having to drug myself with medication because of somebody else's moods. This is the day. I am too upset.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight Drug Changes

[Delia]

Another surprising fact: the extra 1 mg of Clonazepam taken today, after 2 hours still seems not to relax me enough. I continue to feel uneasy with everything around me. What could be happening? I haven't exceeded the 0,30 mg a day until today, so it should work a first extra dose. It is that i was too upset? 

Another news, this is really news, I told my big boss, the one I am appreciating, not the small one that behaves badly, so, I told her about quitting and she said she is very sorry about that and that she could find me to aork with her at the firm for 4 hours a day  ( probably marketing) and after that I could do the job at home. This might be good news, as working from home lets me manifest my craziness in its fullest if I am in withdrawal but still do my work. I am glad and almost proud I could tell her in spite of the fact that I appreciate her and know she wanted me to stay. But I need to continue the battle and rid all medication. Knowing that withdrawal is harsh, I did this sooner. I have to wait now until they find a replacement. We arleady put the anouncement, I hope it works fast in my favor. I may enjoy this summer after all and breath more.

[Delia]

After I leave work I am thinking to get back to the last small doses of Risperidone which is 1,30 ml and Mirtazapine 3,75 mg and to cease the Clonazepam completely. I don't want to have anything to do with benzos any more, as soon as I am off work.I will suffer, toss and turn,but I will know that in three years which is the media of complete recovery I will find my lost self.

[savinggrace]

Hi Delia,

 

Congrats on having the courage to quit your job.  You must be doing something right if your boss (the nice one) managed to come up with part-time work for you already that will work much better for you.

 

I am concerned about your decision to just cut the clonazepam (cold-turkey?) and lower the doses of your other drugs, especially all at once.  That sounds like an awful lot for your over-ly sensitized nervous system to handle.  I do not give technical advice; just support and opinions, but before you get set on doing these cuts, please listen to the moderators here.  I think the fact that you felt nothing from the extra clonazepam today speaks volumes...your brain needs a lot more than that to elicit a relaxation response at this point; imagine what just cutting it out is going to do!

 

You have already pulled the trigger on one big decision today.  You don't have to figure it all out in one day, but you are well on your way, Delia, so don't give up, and keep listening to the people here.

 

Grace

[Delia]

I haven't written in a while, but this time I haven't taken any Clonazepam ( for six days ) until today 0,25 mg and felt fine. So, I decided to take this dose of 0,25 mg only every third day at work. As for the job, I returned because, once again, my boss asked me so much to stay and fight. I am doing well on less Clonazepam now which I consider more than an improvement, a sort of success, from 1 mg to 0,25 mg every third day makes me happy only thinking about this step and to the fact that I am feeling very well the other days too. I changed my mind on reducing all of a sudden, Grace, after good reflection, I got to the conclusion that I should make each step extremely slowly with the other meds. Also, thinking that I am no longer taking any Escitalopram since March makes me feel hopeful about the future of other attempts.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight Drug Changes

[savinggrace]

Great thinking about slowing down on tapering the other drugs. Go back and read your earlier posts on here, Delia, if you start thinking about going faster. It will help you remember that slower is better, after your brain has given you multiple signals that it needs more time. If you start feeling worse again, you can always reconsider once again, what and how, you are tapering and adjust accordingly.

 

Boy, you must be irreplaceable at work!

That is something to be proud of.

 

"Slow and steady wins the race"....though this is NOT a race.

 

Grace

[Delia]

There are so many issues I am having with myself, only this fact prove the meds ineffective. From here, the reason to taper and cease all medication in an end is the best thing to do. Drugs should make us feel good in life, if they don't and cause only additional trouble, there is no rational point into continuing with both the trouble and the drugs. I am feeling well with the meaning that I am highly functional at work, but there is a continuous pain, fear and struggle into myself, that I am only trying to accept and deal with every single moment of my daily life. It is unbelievable to me, still, to feel it incessantly and realize I was born to live like that, just like many others. This destiny prevents me to enjoy my family as I can't feel the joy or other beautiful moments I should appreciate profoundly. Emotions control reason.

[scallywag]

Delia, it's can be a tricky balance -- living one's life while living with withdrawal symptoms. I hope you'll be cautious about the idea of ceasing all medication. Although we've been harmed, there's no point in hurting ourselves by being insistent about taking no meds. I'm looking at my taper as trying to find the minimum effective dose (MED). I'll be very happy if my MED is 0 mg, but if it's 11 or 3.4, I'll a bit disappointed but happy that I'm taking so much less than originally prescribed.

[Delia]

Ever since I have been on medication I became very lethargic,to the point of laziness,engaging into activities being a burden and done as duty at work, but never enough, there were days I was sleeping on myself in daytime feeling so tired and in pain that I cannot lay down on bed. I don't want to continue like this forever and taking less drugs for a long time is an option,although my dream to accomplish is to succeed in living "happily" without any drug altering the brain function. I cannot but admire who succeeded even cold-turkey to end with drugs, without obviously harming in any way the people around. I am saying this because I knew a person once who cold-turkeyed and became very aggressive verbally and managed to show so much ugliness in character. To me,it's a bad example of withdrawal that I strongly want to avoid in becoming. Therefore, the slower the better although the Mirtazapine is annoying me terribly.

[savinggrace]

Delia,

 

Most of us here feel the despair that you do. I have lived between this rock and hard place for years, just trying to deal with what life gives me that day....trying hard not to think too much about the future.

 

Maybe I have said this to you before, but consider giving yourself a set amount of time to think and/or worry about this every day, and then work really hard to distract yourself (even if your heart isn't in it) for the rest of the day. I am in pain all the time; can't remember the last day w/o it but I am still here, so all the worry and rumination I do has not changed a thing. Put your worries in a box, after giving them some attention, lock the box, (use imagery) and put it away for the day. I even try hard to limit my time here as it feeds you the worry.

 

Best wishes,

Grace

 

Keep hoping; replace those intrusive thoughts w/ hopeful ones. The pain and suffering is a reminder that you are making progress and healing!

[Delia]

Hello, Grace,

I hope you have very good times too, it would mean well-founded hope for all of us. I am still dreaming of a time when I might be off medication, I am trying to improve into being more active, but only can at work when I get to go fully rested after two days off. By the time I get home I am a wreck who needs those two days to "recover" from the long shift. After I get home and take the meds, in a few hours the pain starts as I can't sleep in daytime and stay with the drugs taken, but cannot sleep, so all my body aches that day and I barely walk around the house. It makes it almost impossible to accomplish something and I am trying not to let myself down for being inactive for almost an entire day. The second day I am o.k physically, but usually very sleepy. So, at the dose I am at, which is good for work (it could be better, I could be more sharp), I find myself still aching and tired (the Mirtazapine, ouch). Being fine mentally helps forward with the tapering, and here more hope. I am still on the schedule and don't intend to rush the process.

 

Imagery is hard to me, as I tend to wander without a will (not a strong will). How can I enhance my connectivity and focus? I mean, does anyone know ways of doing this at home, by yourself?

 

I wish you all the best, Grace, and thank you for being always present. It helps me a lot to find someone who reads and understands this sometimes illogical mood and thinking I have. My thoughts are mostly influenced by a low feeling that comes and goes, very close to the past depression. It can change entirely my perspective on life if it lasts and only pray not to get there any more with the reductions or if I do, to understand myself beyond any feeling and move forward with life as it is in acceptance and gathering hope no matter what.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight possible rebound symptoms

[savinggrace]

HI Delia,

 

I know this feels endless, and it is indeed a long road, but it there is no other good choice but to stay on this path until the end, no matter how far away it is.  As I have said before, though you feel like you are losing a lot of life (and you are) you still have decades ahead of you, and it is those decades that you are going after.

 

I feel qualified to say this because I am at the other end of this.  I will be 62 this year and I may never get to the end of this nightmare...but I will definitely never stop trying.

 

Hope you feel some hope today,

Grace

[scallywag]

Delia,

The mix of good times (windows) and difficult times (waves) is frustrating for many.  We want to hold on to the good time and think something is wrong with having the bad time. It's hard to grasp that both will occur and that both are part of the process of recovering.

 

Concentration and focus during meditation or imagery exercises comes from doing the imagery exercise or meditation over time. The mental chatter never goes away. The hope is that you become aware of it sooner and letting it go becomes easier.

[Delia]

Hello, Grace, Scallywag,

I know you are right about waves and windows and also about how much I am losing trying to recover continuously. I had such a hard day today, I haven't felt this bad in months. It's been a while since I started to feel extremely tired every day, all the time, but the apex was this morning when I just couldn't handle it any more. And to complicate things, strong thoughts of desire to die and kill myself, long lost, seemed to refresh into my mind to the point I needed to cry. Although I am at work since this morning, due to the fact that it's been a light working day, I tried to survive. Therefore I realized how much I need therapy to combat these thoughts, that are so strong and come with thirst of accomplishing them, that I consider them dangerous for my future. I am going to see a therapist next week, I am calling tomorrow. I want to save myself and learn to deal with problems like a grown-up, not succumb to harmful ideas and thinking like I used to and I also decided to start going to the gym to relearn to have more faith and be calm again around people, to spend less time alone and always be active and try to be more fit. It is not easy to do these steps, but they may mean salvation and with the reductions of the meds these aspects may help me handle the withdrawals much more positively. Wish me luck as doing these two things: therapy and gym, going there is a challenge, but I want and need to do it to save my life. I've only been thinking during time about that, but have never been fully determined, until today with the ugly dangerous thoughts not leaving me, when I know it's time and starting some positive activities cannot be postponed any longer. Wish me luck. I wish you all the best and may God be with us.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight possible withdrawal symptoms from clonazepam

[savinggrace]

Hi Delia,

 

ANYTHING, you can do to distract yourself, even if temporarily will help, I promise you.  The biggest hurdle is forcing yourself out of your comfort zone (I call it my nest) and getting going.  I promise you you will feel better if you try to do something, anything, besides just trying to let the day pass.

 

I have been very sick for a very long time, but seldom a  day goes by that I don't get out of the house and at least walk and/or do an errand.  It keeps me going, physically and mentally.  It is not actually living life in any kind of normal sense, but I am still in the game.

 

We must fight with all we've got...accept the symptoms as just that, symptoms, and forge ahead.  Try not to let those obsessive thoughts win...they are just thoughts; they do not define you.

 

Have you made a cut i clonazepam recently?  I can't remember where you were last you posted.

 

Grace

[Delia]

Hello, Grace. This is my post on the benzo forum on the Clonazepam intake and, as you will see, the changes I am trying to bring into my life: go out more, gym and therapy( I started doing these by the way and felt content to see I can make it possible ). With the changes and not only, even a few days before ( I blame the changing weather sometimes ), I have been feeling edgy and stressed without a particular reason. I hope this period will pass quietly and I will adjust well to the changes and gain more confidence with the therapy and gym.

The post:

"Hello. I am back to give an account of my last weeks of Clonazepam intake. I was on a good path at a certain point and also feeling good. I am making some changes into my life that are meant to bring me more strength and balance, but the change itself made me feel a bit scared. I just want to show you the schedule of Clonazepam I followed the last few weeks based on how I felt, but always trying not to use it to the point I had to use it: June: 18- 0,25 mg;19- 0 mg; 20- 0 mg; 21- 0 mg; 22- 0 mg; 23- 0,20 mg; 24- 0,20 mg; 25- 0 mg; 26- 0,20 mg; 27- 0,20 mg; 28- 0 mg; 29- 0,20 mg; 30- 0,20 mg. July: 1- 0,20 mg; 2- 0 mg; 3- 0,70 mg; 4- 0 mg; 5- 0 mg; 6- 0,50 mg.

As you can see I was on a very good path, but the nervousness I've been feeling the last few days forced me to up the dose hoping it is just for a very limited amount of time. I won't stop always trying to lower the dose, even if some days it feels somehow mandatory for my well-being to raise it. My idea is to take the Clonazepam only at work, every third day, again, and lower that amount with time and replace it completely with Passiflora+B3+Magnesium+B6 mixed (this mix is very relieving, I am using it pretty often).

I would be very grateful to receive a feedback on this schedule I've been following, according to the emotional level of the day, but always trying to keep the dose low, as it was possible."

[Delia]

It is important for me to know which of Risperidone and Mirtazapine should be reduced first? I am currently tapering both very slowly and wish to be careful about it if that's wrong done.

[scallywag]

Delia, I've moved your post to the Introductions Forum because your question relates to your individual situation.

 

Your symptoms may provide a clue about where to start. Please keep track of the time that you take doses and the time your symptoms occur/resolve/intensify/weaken on paper, then post them here.

[Delia]

Hello. So, at the present time I am still on the schedule: I have been taking 0,75 ml Risperidone for two weeks, I am dropping 0,05 ml every two weeks until I get to 1,50 ml (started the tapering from 2 ml). I will be keeping 1,50 ml for three months to stabilize and avoid ugly symptoms. As for the Mirtazapine, I have been following this schedule: started from 7,5 mg a night and tapered this way: 3,75 one night a week for two weeks (7,5 mg in the rest), then 3,75 mg two nights a week for two weeks and so on, now I am at 3,75 mg five nights a week. So far, I haven't experienced any symptom of withdrawal, except a bit of anxiety that comes and goes, very manageable with Passiflora, Magnesium, B6 and B3. Also, when I reach the 3,75 mg Mirtazapine every night, I will keep this dose for three months to stabilize well. Having a job doesn't allow me to feel withdrawal symptoms or I cannot function. I am also taking the 0,08 mg Clonazepam every day, which I intend to lower by next week as I am going to be in a one week holiday from work and feel I can reach 0,05 mg.

My question was: after the three months of staying at the same dose, which of the Mirtazapine and Risperidone should I taper first, because I want to continue with one drug at a time. I have been thinking myself that the Mirtazapine aids a lot with sleep, therefore I should start with the Risperidone. What do you think?

I want to reduce in such a slow manner that, after my calculations, I will finish only by 2020  ...probably with the first med...

[ChessieCat]

"I will finish only by 2020"

 

Don't think about how much longer it is going to take, remember how much you reduced by.

 

Originally I was expecting to be off by my 60th birthday (end of 2017) and was really disappointed when I realised that I wouldn't be.  But that is okay because at least I am doing it the best way, not the fastest way, and I am managing to do some volunteering work that I really enjoy which I couldn't have done when I was on my maximum dose.  My life isn't great but there is a big improvement on what it was last year.

[Delia]

It is true, after the long experience I had with fast withdrawals in the past, I cannot be sure about how long it will take doing this the safe way. That's why I am trying hard to live my life meanwhile as best as I can, also giving myself understanding whenever I get anxious or sad. Accepting bad days is the best way to go through this process without attempting to more meds. My life isn't great also, but it probably is good without me not having this feeling, as everything goes fine. Not feeling happy is something I've come to live with for too long to expect otherwise. I am only fighting to accomplish my daily plans and if I don't, I tell myself I had good reasons based on how I felt. If I don't find myself excuses for a bad day, I get into panic, as for a long time I had the tendency not to forgive myself. I admire you for volunteering. I wish I could do that too, but I get to be content if I do the little things I have on the list, which are necessary for the day, let alone involve in more. If I had more time and peace, I would most definitely improve my foreign languages skills.

[ChessieCat]

It's sounds like you have learnt and are using good coping skills which is great to hear.  Getting volunteering I enjoy has been really good for me, however I find it very difficult to get motivated to get things done around the house.  It's hard to know what is causing it although I realise that it could be the drug or at least it isn't helping.  I'm hoping that once the weather warms up here (should start to happen in about September) that it will make a bit of a difference.  When I'm at home I don't want to go out and on the days I'm out I don't want to come home

 

Take care.  CC

[savinggrace]

Hi Delia,

 

You have come so far and learned so much.  i LOVE your willingness to accept this as a slower process, and to ride out the withdrawal symptoms. 

 

I am fascinated by your mirtazapine tapering....skipping one night, then two, etc. to get to your current dose.  I do think there is some risk of that catching up to you, but if it does, you can always do a tiny up-dose to cover it.   You did taper a large percentage in 3-4 months which is pretty fast.  For now, you seem okay though.  My body would never put up with such a taper, but boy, have I learned how different we all are.  Whatever works for you...

 

I think you are thinking correctly that tapering risperidone first before the mirtazapine will probably be the best choice, but that is some time down the road, so for now, try to be content with life as it is, looking for little bits of joy in unexpected places and savoring the heck out of them.  I don't know if you read my post last week, but I spent 20 minutes of the sweetest minutes of my life putting my almost 3 year old grandson to bed (for the first time) last week, and it has sustained me all week!  Don't under-estimate the little things and do not put unreasonable expectations on yourself.  You are still putting one foot in front of the other every day and have not given up!  If you are able to do that every day, then you are doing something really important which is taking care of yourself.  Don't compare yourself to others.  If you must compare, compare yourself to you on your worst day and you on your best day, and you will know progress is happening.

 

Take care,

Grace

[Delia]

Hello, Grace,

thank you so much for your words. I am glad to read about your joyful moments that fill your soul.It is so good to be able to keep good feelings inside for as long as possible and make a refill whenever is necessary.

 

I want to talk a bit about my discussion with the therapist as I would like an insight from you. I have been talking to her about my life, my insecurities and she said I am too addicted to my family, so I should move alone. But I am not so sure about this right because I am a lonely person, it is better to have my family close and try to be independent through little things. She thinks I keep finding myself excuses for everything from fear to act. And she said I should be more active, take walks ( I will do that ) and jump to doing things without wasting time, as I do, because I told her how I feel blocked every time I am trying to do something and I always need preparation time, which is mental, in order to gather myself and start something.

 

It's true that thinking too much sometimes prevents me from starting an activity, but also being so tired all the time makes me stall. I am still looking for methods to remove tiredness, without coffee. I am in a process of giving up coffee again and feel more tired than usual.

 

To me, it's a wonder I am still going to the gym and continue with the therapist, although in other areas my progress is slow (like study), but doing something being so tired means a lot and I wouldn't like to feel guilty for not doing more, but give myself time to keep trying to do more and stay at peace.

 

The therapist said I shouldn't find excuses to myself, but tell myself the truth about my reasons which would be that I didn't feel like doing the things I didn't do and forgive myself for that. After the session yesterday, that I should move away from my parents ( I would do that, but it would complicate life ), I got pretty scared and felt blocked to do even the little things I was doing by now. I think to a sensitive being one cannot tell to cut habits abruptly, but progressively. I want to solve my problems without moving away, I want to work with myself without making external changes in my life as a start, but being able to face people and situations no matter what. I don't know what to do any more.

 

It's like you said. Grace, unreasonable expectations are being put on me. I realize now that my therapist doesn't realize that just getting out of bed and going to work or to the gym is an accomplishment that should be used to give me faith.To my therapist seems to be no other way to be independent than being free from the influence of my family.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight drug changes; white space

[savinggrace]

Delia,

I feel it's urgent to tell you that you don't have to listen to your therapist. Sometimes therapists are not a good fit for us. She clearly doesn't understand the physical part of withdrawal. She thinks this is all mental, and you and I both know it's not.

 

I think moving away from your family is a terrible idea for right now. As long as they aren't pushing you to do things that feel wrong for you, you need a support system.

 

I will write more later but I just needed to tell you that I think your instincts are telling you she is wrong. I have had 6-7 different therapists in my lifetime and I have quit several of them after a few sessions. Finding a therapist that works with you in a caring, but not pushy way, and listens to you, can be a tedious process but therapists are not "one size fits all" so I hope you can find a new one. I really do. It sounds like you are pushing yourself enough already. You do not need additional stress.

 

I know she is trying to help, but she isn't. If you leave therapy upset, it is not good. Therapy should help bring clarity that has been achieved by listening both ways.

 

Grace

[Delia]

Thank you, Grace. I know the therapist is trying to urge me to become independent and strong, but everyone needs support, and I would only become lonelier than ever. I will talk to my therapist and tell her I am not ready for big changes and if life will force me to be alone in the future (if something happens, God forbid), I will deal with that later and take it as it is. I like this therapist although sometimes when I tell her about my insecurities and slow capacities I see that she doesn't even like me. I am curious if she supports me after I tell her about my decisions and see if I can go on. I agree with her to some point, if I were different, but my depression comes and goes and my emotions are not that stable to make sudden changes in my life and not know where I am heading. Until now, I felt good every time I finished the sessions and she is entitled to her opinion, but I hope she will respect my decisions without telling me that I am afraid and looking for excuses. I probably should talk to her more about the drugs I am taking and the huge influence these have on my whole life. I recall that even my doctor who prescribes me the drugs kept telling me I have to force myself and that not being able to do something is just laziness. She didn't understand why I felt sleepy and had aches in my body, and when I told her it's since I've been taking the new med (Mirtazapine), she wouldn't believe me.

A good thing just happened, I started to take a walk in the evening, just to strengthen. The therapist said that because I have this social anxiety and feel judged, I should start to take walks without any reason. I would go to town, but only when I had to solve something and always felt I need to get back home quickly. So, now I must take walks and not miss a day without going out. I used to stay indoors all day long when I didn't have to go out for something. After the walk yesterday I truly felt much better, even if during it I had mixed feelings. I think continuing will give me more strength. I am glad I could do it. Now, that's an accomplishment to me, with these small steps I can only move forward. That's what I want to tell my therapist.

[Delia]

I have two more days of holiday and I am going back to work. Today is a horrible day. I couldn't go to the gym, picturing how hard it is and how tired I come back from there, I feel anxious and blocked and very depressed. I am thinking of taking a Xanax to feel better as I haven't felt this low in a long time. I am almost crying and don't know what to do with the day, I feel like I can't do anything, I cannot gather myself. I feel upset on everything and want to quit all, job and therapy. I thought I was seeing a point to all, but I miss this point, it doesn't bring me any joy, just more tiredness. I can't escape this state and myself. It is awful. I have horrible thoughts.

[savinggrace]

Delia,

 

Please don't take a Xanax...think long and hard about the consequences, likely to make you much worse.

 

Is your signature updated?  Did you reduce you clonazepam this week as you stated you were going to on July 30th?  What are your doses and how are you dosing the mirtazapine?

 

Please answer these questions and I will try to get a mod to advise you...

 

Grace

[Altostrata]

Delia, what is your work and sleep schedule now? How much are you taking of each drug, and when do you take them?

 

Please do not skip taking mirtazapine every 24 hours, or your symptoms could become much more complicated.

 

When you're take benzos regularly, you can get addicted to them, even if you're taking different benzos.

 

To answer your question above, risperidone is much worse for your health than mirtazapine. Risperidone causes changes in your sugar metabolism that can lead to weight gain and diabetes. (Mirtazapine can also cause weight gain.)

 

Why are you taking risperidone?

[Delia]

Hello. Yes,I reduced the Clonazepam to 0,05mg a day since Monday and I feel more anxious than usual sometimes not all the time.

I am tapering the Mirtazapine every two weeks, now I am at 3,75 mg five nights a week,and 7,5mg two nights a week. But when I'll be at work I skip one night of Mirtazapine and double the other as I can only take the Risperidone at night at work. I must be vigilent at work even at night and with Mirtazapine I can't.I could take the dose in the morning as I get home but I prefered to add it to the next night dose. The Risperidone I'm taking is 1,70 mg every night.
My problem with the Xanax is not big I think, because I never get to take more than three pills of 0,5mg during one month.
It is true,Mirtazapine causes weight gain. I didn't have this problem not even with Zyprexa in the past, but with Mirtazapine I gained weight, fortunately I was slim when I started and it's not worrisome right now, only the fact that I can't lose at all.

Edited August 10, 2016 by JanCarol
Highlight dose changes

[Delia]

My first med back in 1999 was Zyprexa until 2013. The doctor I had then said I was having schizophrenia, the actual doctor replaced Zyprexa (Olanzapine)with Risperidone because I was complaining about the drowsiness. I want to be free from this as I don't have any symptom of the initial diagnostic.

This week until Monday I was in holiday so my sleeping schedule was very accurate, the same hours every night. Probably the low dose of Clonazepam upped the anxiety. Today I made peace with myself and decided to be more determined in life, but I am having sensations of depression wanting to come back. I think after I start work and have a more clear schedule I can't miss I will handle much better. As I said, when I reach 1,50 ml Risperidone and 3,75 mg Mirtazapine I will stop for three months and continue only with Risperidone.

[Delia]

Continue the tapering only with Risperidone I meant. I want to get to and remain with 3,75 mg of Mirtazapine.

[savinggrace]

Good job getting through yesterday, Delia.  Tomorrow is almost always better than today when today is exceptionally bad.  Have you noticed that?

 

Doesn't sound like you took the Xanax...yay!

 

I think you will likely do better when back at work.  The work will distract you from your symptoms and thinking too much about what to do next.  I have a friend who suffers from serious depression and he ALWAYS gets worse when he is on vacation.  He needs work to give his life meaning and purpose and distraction.

 

I think your tapering plan is a good one, though your mirtazapine tapering method is hard on your nervous system.  Do you do it that way because of your work schedule?

 

Take care,

Grace

[scallywag]

Delia

 

We need to confirm what your doses are and what changes you've made recently. I've got 4 questions for you.

 

(1) Which is correct, the 7.5 mg in your signature or the changing dosage schedule ,3.75 mg for 5 nights, 7.5 mg for 2 nights?

 

In your signature, you say that your current doses of the other 2 medications are:

 

Risperidone 1.7 ml

Clonazepam 0.05 mg

 

(2) Is this correct?

 

(3) Also, you say that you have been reducing doses on all three. Is that still correct?

 

(4) Are you taking any other medications?

[Altostrata]

Delia, what were the symptoms that were diagnosed as schizophrenia?

[Delia]

Hello. I am at work and in the first part of the day was really hard, I felt anxious and depressed, now later I am feeling much better. I am glad I can handle with so little Clonazepam, I thought I couldn't. I think the tapering plan with Mirtazapine is good and I want to do this this way because that's how I had success with getting rid of Escitalopram. I know this method is forbidden with anti psychotics, only with antidepressants works. That's why I started doing it this way, but it is also convenient as for my work schedule.

Yes, scallywag, my signature is correct and updated.I have been reducing the three meds, it is true, but I am stopping the Clonazepam at 0,05 mg. If you think I should reduce it more, please tell me. I am not taking other medications except those three, only supplements. Painkillers like Ibuprofen, Aspirin and Acetaminophen only at need. I must confess I have been using from time to time Isotretinoin. I used to take 10 mg every other day for a while, stop for two-three months and restart.

 

When I was diagnosed with schizophrenia the doctor saw me only once in 10 years and left me with this diagnostic based on what my mother told him about how I felt. I think she may have told him that I as talking to myself a lot and fearing harm from people and behaving weird. I had a very short period of sorts in the far past. In 2010 I changed doctor and in 2013 the new doctor changed my diagnostic into schizo-affective disorder with major depressive syndrome.