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mFrustrated: need insight - Zoloft withdrawal


mFrustrated

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mFrustrated

Thanks Scallywag!

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

I do have a question...has anyone had issues with anxiety while driving at night? I feel like my vision is blurred at night and I am super sensitive to car lights. Definitely worse during waves.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I don't drive at night but recently I have had trouble focussing my vision.  It seems a bit blurry.  I have also noticed that sometimes I seem to get "mesmerised".  For example if I look at the car in front and their brake lights are on as I approach them (ie I haven't seen them go from off to on), it seems to take my brain longer to register what I am seeing and I am slower to react by braking.  I've also found that I have somedays where I have to focus harder than others.  It's like my auto pilot is turned off and I have to take full control.

 

Other members have reported light sensivity:  Sensitivity to light, sound etc

FINISH LINE here I come!!!

🏁

Current from 11 September 2021:  Pristiq 0.04mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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mFrustrated

Thanks ChessieCat. Tail lights are exactly what throw my eyes off at night. I guess it's just one of those things that are gonna be a part of my healing process.

 

Feeling super down today. My sweet husband is making me rest today. It's normally my day to get stuff done and prep meals for the week ahead. Just not feeling able to do any of that at this moment. I know it's just a wave and there isn't much I can do about it. Really sucks though.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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Hi MFrusturated,

I experienced the same thing like you at night.

I had trouble driving at night, because I could not tolerate bright lights, and traffic lights and lights would appear blurry with a hallo around it. Almost like a hologram.

But it does go away. I don't get that anymore. Driving at night would give me anxiety, weird head feelings and sometimes panic attacks.

I had that for a long time.

But it is gone now. Don't feel down, it will go away. It does take time.

Once the nervous system starts to heal, you will see symptoms slowly dissappear.

You have to be patient.

Take care of your self, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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mFrustrated

Thanks for the input Hopefull. I figured that what I am experiencing was bc of the medicine. I had terrible eyes and have worn contacts since I was a teenager, so I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't something I should get checked. It worsens when I'm in deeper waves, so that's why I figured it was medicine induced. This wave has been a pain, intrusive thoughts have been so ugly this go around. Seemingly as bad as when they first started a year ago...probably just my perspective, but frightening for sure. I obviously don't want to hurt myself or die, but I just want this wave to end. When we left church today I came straight home and plan to stay in until I have to go to work in the morning. Being home helps for sure. If the wave stays as bad this week as it is right now, I'll at least have work as a distraction this week. Fingers crossed and prayers for some relief this week. Thank you all for the encouragement and reminders that this will end and that I am not stuck like this. When I recover fully, I plan to share my story with as many people taking or thinking of taking these drugs as possible. I've had a lot of really great conversations with several people in the health/mental health field that totally believe me and want to know more. Here's to educating people on the true dangers of these drugs! For now, I'm gonna do the best I can to take care of myself so that I can be the wife and mom that I love being.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Still struggling this morning. Didn't sleep well at all last night. Fighting some sinus stuff and digestive issues. This wave is just totally the pits!

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Day 4 of my wave...I've had to cut caffeine again. Symptoms today are shortness of breath, jitters, lots of anxiety and intrusive thoughts about "what if I give up" and "what if I can't take it anymore." Thankful to be home this evening and snuggling my kids on the couch. Planning to take an Epsom salt bath after they go to bed and enjoy some camomile tea as well. Here's to healing and hopefully some relief soon. This mental struggle part of healing is no fun at all and oh, so hard!

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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Hang in there MFrusturated, time is a healer. One year is not enough, so don't feel down. It might take another year or two to feel better and maybe not.

Every one is different.

I had a bad reaction to Zoloft as well,things are getting better.

So don't despair, healing is possible!

Take care, Hopefull. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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mFrustrated

Thanks Hopefull! Today was a better, so here's to that! I was able to enjoy my students at school and enjoy a little reading at the coffee shop before picking my kids up...so that was nice. Intrusive thoughts and anxiety were low today, just bothersome here and there. Still struggling a little with shortness of breath here and there too. Definitely nice to have a brighter day!

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Seem to be coming out of this wave. School was great today, and I actually drove in the dark last night. Hoping for some somewhat normal feeling days to come! ????????

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Or not...ugh! This morning I'm back to feeling like I'm gonna jump out of my skin, intrusive thoughts, neuro emotions, and now my eyes are struggle with bright light. I know this will subside eventually, but gosh it's so hard to keeping going with the plans of the day when waves pop up. We have family in town and a birthday party to attend today. Nothing like having to act like I'm ok. ????

 

Also, on a different note...y'all, I don't know if you've seen news from NC (USA) but an 18 year old boy decapitated his mom and called 911 on himself. Come to find out, he's on 3 different psychotic drugs and has been in a mental hospital. 1st thing I said to my husband when I heard about it was "I cannot believe they don't connect meds to the reason for this stuff." That poor kid has ruined his life and killed his mother and I guarantee it was from taking that poison. I am grateful we learned that my issue was the medicine and for all of us, time will help us become ourselves again. It's torture now, but oh so grateful we know the truth about meds.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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Hi M.

 

I do have a question...has anyone had issues with anxiety while driving at night? I feel like my vision is blurred at night and I am super sensitive to car lights. Definitely worse during waves.

 

Yes. I don't drive at night anymore for that very reason.

 

Regarding the news stories like the one you mentioned , It's always my first thought and it's usually right unless there has been a cover up in which case no one ever really knows.

 

I'm sorry for your wave. I hope you survive the birthday event. I've been through many social situations in W/D and it can be exhausting ! Good luck.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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mFrustrated

Hi Ali. Thanks for your feedback. I'm sorry you've have to stop driving at night. I'm really hoping that one day, this won't effect me anymore. I have always been a go,go, go person...we love to travel and do things. I am able to drive here and there within a few miles from my house, but that's really sucking it up and making myself do it. I hope for both of our sakes, we can drive at night again. Seems like you've recovered a lot, maybe this will also be a step in the process for you. How are you, have you come out of your last wave?

 

The party was actually really great and helped me take my mind off thing a lot. I'm glad we went and we're able to spend time with family. Guess that's also a sign that I'm healing. I've learned a lot of patience in this mess, you don't really have a choice...

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Still in this wave....things have lifted a little as far as neuro emotions and not feeling like I can go on. Intrusive thoughts aren't as bothersome, but GAD is still pretty present. Completely off caffine, especially coffee. Energy levels are back up, but weary and tired of this wave. Hoping for more clouds to lift soon. This has certainly been the longest wave in quite sometime.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Feeling worse today...very emotional, tired, and intrusive thoughts today. Planning to make it mandatory nap time and movies on the couch this afternoon for my kids while my husband is working. Those of you who have been in recovery longer than me, this wave is going on a little over a month...longest one I've had since all of this began. I'm so baffled. It's been a crazy few weeks with a sick dog, stress at work, normal busyness of having 2 small kids...allergies have been stirred up and digestive isssues...would all of this cause my wave to last longer? Why do I feel like I've taken so many steps backwards?

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Just having a sick pet is stressful.  Combine that with everything else I imagine it would make a wave last longer.

 

Last week I had my son in law stay for 3 nights.  He didn't spend much time here but it did make me a bit anxious.  I took time out for 3 days after he went and was feeling good.  But the experience left my 18 year old cat stressed and she became constipated (5 days), so the last couple of days I've been concerned over that and my anxiety went up again.  I was at the point that if she hadn't gone today I was taking her to the vet.  Thankfully she did, but she's been "naughty" this morning wanting to climb up on everything.  I'm not sure if she is picking up on my anxiety or not.  She wouldn't let me cuddle her, so I've just been walking around the house (had to stop typing this) with her over my shoulder and she has finally settle on her cushion by the window.  Wow, hard work, like having a baby!

 

In fact whilst this has been going on this morning I was thinking about how tough is must be for people going through withdrawal having other people, especially children, in a house.

FINISH LINE here I come!!!

🏁

Current from 11 September 2021:  Pristiq 0.04mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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mFrustrated

CheesieCat, our animals are so interesting to pick up on things aren't they? I'm pretty sure they sense when there is something wrong.

 

My wave worsens at certain times during the day and are so sporadic. Today I thought I was getting better but by 3:00 this afternoon I was a mess again. Driving over bridges and in traffic was super for my anxiety this afternoon...not! This evening I'm convinced that I'll be like this forever (although deep down I know it's not true), but I'm so weary. My kids need me and I hate being like this. I just want a break. This wave is just horrible and I want to be better. ????

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Hey guys...was trying to figure out if I had changed up anything that may have caused a wave or made it worse... Anyone know if taking ibeprofen for a headache could have made my wave worse or stir things up again?

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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mFrustrated

Had a nice little bit of relief yesterday, not all the way but much better than I've been doing. Back down in this wave today. The games my mind plays with me are just exhausting. Trying to embrace not being able to control it with the hopes that I can reduce freaking out over thoughts of running my car off a bridge when I'm driving or not being able to go on. Just doesn't seem to get easier. I wish I could just accept the thoughts and move on.

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • 3 months later...
mFrustrated

Been a while since I've posted and I just wanted to post an update to hopefully encourage someone that comes across my feed. I am so thankful that I can say that I have been doing MUCH better these days. I am still having waves and windows, but the truly scary intrusive thoughts of hurting myself, not being able to go on, etc. have passed. It's been 4 months since my last really dark wave, and I feel like I've experienced so much healing since then. I am still dealing with "anxiety" and intrusive thoughts about all kinds of things, but I am finally feeling like I am truly healing. To anyone that has had a bad reaction to a drug, the people on this site that have shared their wealth of knowledge about how bad these drugs are BUT about how YOU WILL HEAL absolutely know what they are talking about. I am SO thankful for those of you that have encouraged me and helped me get to this point. I am so very thankful to feel like I can be someone to encourage others as well. Here's to more days of healing ahead and enjoying life! 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to mFrustrated: Need insight - Zoloft withdrawal

That is great news! I wish you continued healing! I am over 7 months out from my last adverse reaction. It is encouraging to read your update to know there are better days ahead :) 

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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  • 2 months later...

Hi Everyone! Seem to have slipped back into a deeper wave than I’ve had in probably 7 months. I haven’t had the dark, scary intrusive thoughts since feb/mar and they came out of nowhere today. I’ve been in a bit of a wave recently and have had smaller ones here and there, but they’ve been much easier to manage and I’ve been able to keep perspective and keep going. This one brought back the terrible intrusive thoughts, the morning jitters, caffeine reactions, drowsiness after meals, breathing issues, depersonalization, and some shoulder/rib pain.  I’ve dealt with the physical symptoms for about 2 weeks now and the intrusive thoughts came today. It’s knocked me off my feet and this evening I’m going to bed early, in hopes that tomorrow is better.

 

It’s been about 19 months since my reaction, and I’m so thankful for the progress I’ve made. Hoping that this wave will pass and I’ll come out feeling even more like myself. Here’s to another day tomorrow. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • 8 months later...
mFrustrated

Hi everyone! Needing some encouragement today. It’s been quite a while since I had a deep wave, I guess last October was the last time I posted. Since then, I’ve managed smaller waves with intrusive thoughts, etc. but I’ve seemed to hit a deep wave over the past few days that had really peaked today. Having super dark waves of hurting myself, not being able to go on, never healing from this mess, etc. today. Literally hasn’t been this bad in months. My gastro system seems to be upset as well. Last week I took some Dramamine while on a trip to keep me from being nauseous on plane rides and had a few glasses of wine throughout the week as well. On top of that, I’ve been on my cycle...just finished. Could all of this create a storm....even 2 years into the process that could create a wave like this? Just needing some reassurance I guess. It’s super devistatibg to be 2 years post bad reaction and still be dealing with this. Before the meds, anxiety wasn’t a normal thing for me. Thoughts are appreciated. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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3 hours ago, mFrustrated said:

Hi everyone! Needing some encouragement today. It’s been quite a while since I had a deep wave, I guess last October was the last time I posted. Since then, I’ve managed smaller waves with intrusive thoughts, etc. but I’ve seemed to hit a deep wave over the past few days that had really peaked today. Having super dark waves of hurting myself, not being able to go on, never healing from this mess, etc. today. Literally hasn’t been this bad in months. My gastro system seems to be upset as well. Last week I took some Dramamine while on a trip to keep me from being nauseous on plane rides and had a few glasses of wine throughout the week as well. On top of that, I’ve been on my cycle...just finished. Could all of this create a storm....even 2 years into the process that could create a wave like this? Just needing some reassurance I guess. It’s super devistatibg to be 2 years post bad reaction and still be dealing with this. Before the meds, anxiety wasn’t a normal thing for me. Thoughts are appreciated. 

HI mFrustrated ,so sorry your suffering like this ,you are correct ,a lot has come at you at once here ,believe it will pass because it will ,journal your frustration ,it helps .I relate all to well about the hurting one self but try and get a towel and thrash it off the floor ,it will release frustration ,our body's are holding on to all this stress .

I really cant believe my reality sometimes but its my fight that I must always have tools ready when its bad .maybe when your cycle comes around next time be mindfull for a few days before and try abstain from the alcohol and see does it help .your CNS has gotten a jolt I reckon and your having a lot of stress ,find soothing ways to relax for a few days .

You'll be ok soon just keep believing that .

Take care .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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mFrustrated

Thanks for the encouragement Powerback. Thankful that really low wave only lasted part of Tuesday, but man it was bad. 

 

It is amazing how our central nervous systems have been upset by these drugs and how sensitive they become to other meds. I never had issues with Dramamine before the adverse reaction to SSRIs. I am 100% sure that taking the Dramamine created a storm for me now that I’m a few days in. Tuesday was miserable and since them I’ve dealt with intrusive thoughts and constant anxiety over anxiety. Definitely a few steps back for me, but I do know that’s I’ll come out of this. This wave has made me realize how much normal my life’s had returned to. I was no where near 100% before the Dramamine, but was experiencing waves and windows at a pretty steady healing rate....waves were just low dips and maybe some intrusive thoughts here and there. This wave brought on neuro emotions and anxiety like I haven’t had in many, many months. But even still, this wave was not nearly as long has they’ve been in the past. Tuesday was a low dip and the wave now feels pretty “normal” to the ones I’ve been having with maybe a little more depersonalization and intrusive thoughts. Thankful for that and that this has allowed me to see how much I have healed in 2 years. I still have a ways to go, and it’s such a slow process BUT I am healing. Thankful for people like Farout and some of you others that’s have continued to encourage me. Hang in there friends that have had adverse reactions, it’s so hard, but we can overcome this! 

 

Now if if someone would stop doctors from prescribing this stuff so easily in the US. Ugh! Makes me so mad I ever took this mess. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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On 6/29/2018 at 10:17 AM, mFrustrated said:

Thanks for the encouragement Powerback. Thankful that really low wave only lasted part of Tuesday, but man it was bad. 

 

It is amazing how our central nervous systems have been upset by these drugs and how sensitive they become to other meds. I never had issues with Dramamine before the adverse reaction to SSRIs. I am 100% sure that taking the Dramamine created a storm for me now that I’m a few days in. Tuesday was miserable and since them I’ve dealt with intrusive thoughts and constant anxiety over anxiety. Definitely a few steps back for me, but I do know that’s I’ll come out of this. This wave has made me realize how much normal my life’s had returned to. I was no where near 100% before the Dramamine, but was experiencing waves and windows at a pretty steady healing rate....waves were just low dips and maybe some intrusive thoughts here and there. This wave brought on neuro emotions and anxiety like I haven’t had in many, many months. But even still, this wave was not nearly as long has they’ve been in the past. Tuesday was a low dip and the wave now feels pretty “normal” to the ones I’ve been having with maybe a little more depersonalization and intrusive thoughts. Thankful for that and that this has allowed me to see how much I have healed in 2 years. I still have a ways to go, and it’s such a slow process BUT I am healing. Thankful for people like Farout and some of you others that’s have continued to encourage me. Hang in there friends that have had adverse reactions, it’s so hard, but we can overcome this! 

 

Now if if someone would stop doctors from prescribing this stuff so easily in the US. Ugh! Makes me so mad I ever took this mess. 

 

Hi MFrusturated,

Hang in there.  Things will work out in the end. I still experience waves here snd there. But less frequently then what I used to.  Setbacks are expected. 

But remember that a setback does not last forever. 

Take care,  Hopefull. 

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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mFrustrated

Thanks Hopefull. I’ve been doing well the past few days and felt like I was coming out of the wave, but today I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts of “what if I never heal,” and “what if I don’t make and give up,” so lovely. 🙄 trying to just believe the thoughts aren’t real and practice cbt as much as I can. Taking my kids to the pool and hanging out with my sis today. At least it will distract me. I hate these feelings. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • 2 months later...

Finding myself in another horrible wave. It’s frightening to and hard to understand why 2 1/2 years later I’m still struggling with ocd thoughts of hurting myself and intense depressive emotions. I always think I’m getting better and then, bam, another dark wave hits. I keep telling myself I am so much better than I was when this all started. Just wishing for relief and hoping I feel more  like myself soon. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, mFrustrated said:

Finding myself in another horrible wave. It’s frightening to and hard to understand why 2 1/2 years later I’m still struggling with ocd thoughts of hurting myself and intense depressive emotions. I always think I’m getting better and then, bam, another dark wave hits. I keep telling myself I am so much better than I was when this all started. Just wishing for relief and hoping I feel more  like myself soon. 

 

Hi mFrustrated, 

 

Im so sorry you’re in a bad wave. This can be a very scary journey but just know you will eventually heal. Do u have some things that you can distract yourself with? I do lots of crafts and watch millions of movies and tv shows when waves are bad to distract myself. 

 

Is there anything you like like to do? Even if you don’t find any joy in it now you can still use it as a good distraction.

 

I hope you waves lessens soon, Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things. Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. Can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the ward and was given different meds. Tapered off one and have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been many, many years of tapering so far.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April=7 mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ August 28=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ October 21=6mg/ December 16=5.80mg/.   January 21 2020=5.60mg/April 2=5.40g/ May 29=5.20mg/ August 14= 5mg/ September 29=4.80mg/ Jan 31, 2021=4.60 mg/ April 24=4.40mg/ July 17=4.30mg

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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Thanks Carmie! I appreciate the encouragement. 

 

I’m starting to wonder if I have a real problem or if it’s really just the reaction to the meds. Any mods know if I really should still expect these ocd thoughts this far along into this healing process (2 1/2 years)? I’m super discouraged this evening. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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Hi MFrusturated,

I just want to say thank you for stopping by. Did you have OCD prior to this? 

A lot of people experience OCD type thoughts when going through WDS.

The intrusive thoughts do take a while to clear up. 

It is like having a computer virus inside your head that you can not shake off.

I am glad that my words of encouragement is helping you. 

Even I still experience rough patches. 

That is the nature of the beast. 

I am glad that your husband is really supportive. That really helps.

Take care,  :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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mFrustrated,  OCD thoughts are absolutely terrible!  I had them (how I got on SSRIs) and it was the worst experience of my life.  If it is at all possible, I'd strongly encourage you to seek CBT therapy to minimize their impact.  This made my OCD go from horrifying to somewhat annoying.  Wishing you healing and wholeness.

January 2014 Zoloft 150 mg

May 2014 Started tapering

January 2015  Zoloft 54 mg

January 2016 18 mg

January 2017 12 mg

January 2018 7 mg CRASH! 

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I really appreciate all of you taking the time reply back. It really helps to have a sense of community that understands that I am not crazy and have had an adverse reaction to a drug. 

9 hours ago, Hopefull said:

Hi MFrusturated,

I just want to say thank you for stopping by. Did you have OCD prior to this? 

A lot of people experience OCD type thoughts when going through WDS.

The intrusive thoughts do take a while to clear up. 

It is like having a computer virus inside your head that you can not shake off.

I am glad that my words of encouragement is helping you. 

Even I still experience rough patches. 

That is the nature of the beast. 

I am glad that your husband is really supportive. That really helps.

Take care,  :)

Hopefull, I did not have any OCD before the drugs. I had a knot under my arm that the doctor was concerned about that I ended up having general anxiety over. She gave me an SSRI to help me cope, but ended up sending me into major adverse  reaction. I think I'm just surprised that after 2, 1/2 years I still suffer from OCD, but it definitely comes in waves and only when I seem to be having a "storm" going on. My daughter came down with a bacteria infection in her eye this morning, my period is coming next week, and we just had a hurricane come through. Luckily we were spared from the hurricane but I have a lot of friends 2 hours south of us that didn't fair too well. I think all of this has caused quite a bit of stress on my nervous system. Everytime one of my kids gets sick, this seems to happen a few days before I realize they are sick. Anyways, hopefully this wave will pass soon and I'll be back to the normal waves and windows I was experiences. I guess this just one of the setback waves.

7 hours ago, merry said:

mFrustrated,  OCD thoughts are absolutely terrible!  I had them (how I got on SSRIs) and it was the worst experience of my life.  If it is at all possible, I'd strongly encourage you to seek CBT therapy to minimize their impact.  This made my OCD go from horrifying to somewhat annoying.  Wishing you healing and wholeness.

 Merry, thanks for the reminder. One of my friends that I met on here, Farout, also recommended the same a while back. She resent me the article recently and it's helped today. 

 

 Today has been much more bearable than the last two...so hopefully that's a sign that I'm on the up and up. Thank you again guys!!! Hugs to you all!

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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Hi MFrustirated,

It will pass, just hang in there. 

You will get better. 

Take care,  Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

I’m struggling again. Grrr!! My job is super stressful and balancing working mom life is not making it easier. The harm ocd is so terrible. I don’t know what’s sent me into this terribke wave so far into this process but it’s super frustrating. I didn’t have any of this before those stupid pills. I just don’t understand why I’m still dealing with all of this. I was doing so much better and ever since I took that travel medicine back in June, I’ve had a hard time and seem to slip into such terrible waves more than I was. Is this normal for recovery from an ssri reaction? Am I really healing? This is all so hard. 

mFrustrated

 

Celexa- 2 days (February 2016)

Paxil- 5 days (February 2016)

Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016)

BuSpar-2 days (June 2016)

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to mFrustrated: need insight - Zoloft withdrawal

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