MaryDavid Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hello, Firstly, I would like to thank admin for the good work being done on SA. Secondly, I would like to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, they are helpful. Its good to know that one is not alone in this battle. So, I did the silly thing of stopping Citalopram (20mg) after at least 7 years of taking it. I ran out and I believed I was well enough to do that. My last tablet was in July 2015. For the first few months I realised that ; I could cry again when I watched a sad movie, I could feel compassion towards people again, Libido improved, I could feel things more. I had a few days spread out over 3 months where I would cry for no reason. By month 4, I cried at my volunteer job. Felt extreme low self esteem. Felt intimidated by other woman my husband would chat to or text. Felt intimidated by every woman who he looked at walking or driving along. Felt really insecure. Wanted to end my marriage. (worse at that time of the month - in my early 40s). It seems like im being tormented by women in cars. Grew up in an institution from the age of 3 year for abondoned children, orphans or parents who could not look after their children for one reason or another. I devloped acne at 10 years old through to adulthood. I was diagnosed with depression in 2000 after numerous attempts of suicide, mainly because of infidelity in a relationship. I was hospitalized for 3 months whilst they found drugs that would stabilize me. In 2000 was started on ; Carbamezipine (between 100mg and 500mg unfortunately i cannot remember); Fluoexitine 20mg; Clonozepam 500micrograms. In 2004 I got married and fell pregnant. Had to immediately stop taking Carbamezipine. Withdrawals of that were really bad but neither I or my husband new why I was so badly behaved, being nasty and irrational and my boss at the time thought i was a nightmare during my early pregnancy. It was a shock to hear that I was such a nightmare. I thought it was pregnancy hormones. In 2007 my husband asked me to stop the medication because he felt they were changing me into a nasty person. I stopped Fluoexitine and Clonozepam cold turkey. Soon i was an emotional bag, once again, freaked out when my husband spoke or chatted to women, eventually resigned from my work and had a nervous breakdown which lasted at least 12 weeks. I went back on the medication and began to stabilize. Went back to work (different job) In 2009 I changed from fluoextine to Citalopram. In 2011 had my 2nd child. In 2014 I tapered off Clonozepam and didn't seem to have any adverse side effects. Right now Im going through alot of emotional pain, mainly due to enhanced feelings of insecurity. I see another women that my husband may look at or chat to and begin to think they are a goddess of some sort. Its like a torment. Sometimes the feelings go and I feel fine. But as soon as I see a woman he knows that feeling comes back and its a horrible knot in my tummy. I feel more emotional in the mornings as and tend to feel better at night. Im currently trying Choline and Inositol and B complex. Thank you for your time. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Dan998 Posted April 14, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hello Mary, You've done really well so far. It's quite an achievement coming off of citalopram and getting through the early stages of withdrawal. Although, it's not uncommon to be hit with symptoms many months after stopping. Becoming overly emotional is a classic withdrawal symptom. We have a thread about it which you may find useful - Neuro Emotions. Thanks for completing your signature, it really helps everyone out. Welcome to the group. You will find many knowledgeable and helpful members here who have all had similar experiences as yourself. Look around the site, make yourself at home, we're all in this together. 2001: 20mg paroxetine2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg; Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg Finished taper 17 May 2017. Read my success story I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider. Link to comment
AliG Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hi Mary . Welcome . I'm sorry for what you have been through . I'm pleased you have found us, though and you will receive lots of support and encouragement , here. At almost 8 months off Citalopram , I would be hesitant to advise any reinstatement . Others might have a different perspective. You could perhaps try it , but I would stick it out , if I were you . Many here, find magnesium and fish oil helpful . Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) What is withdrawal syndrome? This is your thread to ask questions, record progress and journal . Please come back with any questions , you may have . Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted April 14, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hi MaryDavid, so glad you found SA! Just curious what you would like to have happen by coming to us. You are in protracted withdrawal, but are your symptoms at a level you feel you can handle and ride out? Or is it unbearable? How you feel about where you are at will aid us in advising you. Another topic that will help you is Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization So, you began your journey with meds after suicide attempts due to infidelity in a relationship. I can see why you would have insecurities now regarding your husband, as there was a pivotal experience in your past laying the foundation for this. Therefore, I cannot say that ll those feelings you are having now are due to withdrawal, though withdrawal will certainly amplify them. Are you in therapy? It is very important to work on the issues that got you to the meds to begin with, because once you are free of them and done with withdrawal, the emotional problems that you had before your stint on meds may still be there. I know that my insecurities in past relationships stemmed from my own low self-esteem and dislike of myself. I have been doing lots of work on that and nowadays, even as I taper, I feel much more compassionate towards myself, more accepting and comfortable in my skin. So, in that regard, I am including the following link. Though it was formulated with withdrawal in mind, there's lots of info there that can apply towards anybody. I think you will benefit from a pre-drug and withdrawal perspective :-) Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hi MaryDavid, so glad you found SA! Just curious what you would like to have happen by coming to us. You are in protracted withdrawal, but are your symptoms at a level you feel you can handle and ride out? Or is it unbearable? How you feel about where you are at will aid us in advising you. Another topic that will help you is Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization So, you began your journey with meds after suicide attempts due to infidelity in a relationship. I can see why you would have insecurities now regarding your husband, as there was a pivotal experience in your past laying the foundation for this. Therefore, I cannot say that ll those feelings you are having now are due to withdrawal, though withdrawal will certainly amplify them. Are you in therapy? It is very important to work on the issues that got you to the meds to begin with, because once you are free of them and done with withdrawal, the emotional problems that you had before your stint on meds may still be there. I know that my insecurities in past relationships stemmed from my own low self-esteem and dislike of myself. I have been doing lots of work on that and nowadays, even as I taper, I feel much more compassionate towards myself, more accepting and comfortable in my skin. So, in that regard, I am including the following link. Though it was formulated with withdrawal in mind, there's lots of info there that can apply towards anybody. I think you will benefit from a pre-drug and withdrawal perspective :-) Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms SG Thank you so much SG. Its soo good to know that someone else is dealing with same/similar life challenges. I was very encouraged by your post. I will look into everything you have suggested. To answer your question about what I would like from SA is to share any successes I may have and to learn and get advice as well. I have noticed that my current state is definitely a bit of both, (withdrawal and a return of my emotional state when I was diagnosed in 2000). The emotional pain manifested in constant crying, day in and day out for days on end and only getting relief in the evenings. When morning came I was once again an emotional wreck. I was known as a baby in my 20's. Whilst I am much better now, in that I don't cry all day long, Im still getting those intense tearful moments on a daily basis. They last a few minutes at different intervals in the day. It is so so difficult as I keep having to shut myself in the kitchen or somewhere to have a cry so my children/partner don't see me in that state. They see me sometimes have tears but I hide when its extremem. Playing alot of hide and seek. I am aware that I still need to work on deep rooted issues which I believed I had resolved. Been to counselling in the past and whilst it was good to chat my inner pain still remained. I know I will get help from your suggested posts. I am not in any therapy at the moment. I believe there is a long waiting list. Im normally worse when i wake up and then i seem to calm down in the evenings. This seems to be the pattern. Once again, thank you. MD In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hello Mary, You've done really well so far. It's quite an achievement coming off of citalopram and getting through the early stages of withdrawal. Although, it's not uncommon to be hit with symptoms many months after stopping. Becoming overly emotional is a classic withdrawal symptom. We have a thread about it which you may find useful - Neuro Emotions. Thanks for completing your signature, it really helps everyone out. Welcome to the group. You will find many knowledgeable and helpful members here who have all had similar experiences as yourself. Look around the site, make yourself at home, we're all in this together. Thank you so much Dan998. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 Hi Mary . Welcome . I'm sorry for what you have been through . I'm pleased you have found us, though and you will receive lots of support and encouragement , here. At almost 8 months off Citalopram , I would be hesitant to advise any reinstatement . Others might have a different perspective. You could perhaps try it , but I would stick it out , if I were you . Many here, find magnesium and fish oil helpful . Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) What is withdrawal syndrome? This is your thread to ask questions, record progress and journal . Please come back with any questions , you may have . Ali Thankyou so much Ali In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted April 14, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 14, 2016 Im normally worse when i wake up and then i seem to calm down in the evenings. This seems to be the pattern. Once again, thank you. MD This is indeed very much a common pattern with people, waking with anxiety feeling bad for part of the day but feeling a lot better late afternoon/evening. And as I said, withdrawal amplifies everything. I had done therapy over the years but talk therapy never solved a darn thing. I know some benefit from that, and sure, it feels good to talk it out at the time, but nothing lasting was done to change the thinking patterns that were the problem. You don't have to wait to see what the health care system will offer up to you to finally make lasting changes; those links contain just about everything you need. I, myself, found the teachings of Eckhart Tolle to be pivotal for me, though you could insert your own favorite teacher - many offer up the same messages of being Present. Claire Weekes' stuff is really good, too. I'll include my favorite Eckhart link below. SG http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10992-eckhart-tolle-the-pain-body-and-mental-suffering-during-withdrawal/ Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 15, 2016 Author Share Posted April 15, 2016 Thanks SG, I had a listen and yes it really is like something else has taken over ones body. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted April 16, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 16, 2016 Hi, MaryDavid. We just met over in the Symptom & Self Care section and I wanted to welcome you to the forum, too. There's a really good book you may be interested in reading - "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= A lot of people with trauma in their background don't do well with treatments like CBT talk therapy. I never did. And this book explores why, as well as discussing other options. I use mindfulness, creative writing, playing music, and restorative yoga. Other people do EMDR, neurofeedback, as well as many other options. You mentioned there's a long waiting list for therapy where you live, so perhaps these are some things you could pursue on your own that will aid in your recovery. I also noticed the farther away I am from the drugs, the more confidence I get. As you add more and more coping skills, you'll start to feel much more confident about yourself, too. I'm glad you're here for support and information. Link to comment
keepinghope Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 Hi Just read your story and some bits are so similar to me, I had acne right up to my 20s and it affected my confidence so badly, to the point that I wouldn't leave the house. I think the Doctors thought it was easier to treat that than the acne in the end. I took my last Prozac tablet in August 2015; at first I noticed I felt more, like you did, then I crashed badly 4 months later with major anxiety, couldn't leave my bedroom, thought I was going crazy and it was proof that I was 'mental' and defective off the drugs. Then I found this site. As soon as I knew it wasn't my shoddy brain and that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms it seemed to help. I've been feeling a lot better in this last couple of months, but I know things can just as easily take a backward turn again. Hope things start to turn around for you soon, be kind to yourself. KH Ps just seen in your sig you're trying aromatherapy, I've been having a go with it lately, on my horses too as I'm doing a course in zoopharmacognosy. I was surprised how well it works! If you get anxiety at all then Valerian Root essential oil is a really good one to use - I just carry a little bottle with me and take a sniff when I need to. Rose Otto is said to be good for past trauma and emotional wounds, Lavender and Sandalwood for obsessive worry, Neroli for depression/sadness, Jasmine for comfort and relaxing, Frankincense for fear/stress, Roman Chamomile for OCD and anxiety that shows in skin/stomach disorders, Ylang Ylang for lack of confidence. Those are just a few! 2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 17, 2016 Author Share Posted April 17, 2016 Hi, MaryDavid. We just met over in the Symptom & Self Care section and I wanted to welcome you to the forum, too. There's a really good book you may be interested in reading - "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= A lot of people with trauma in their background don't do well with treatments like CBT talk therapy. I never did. And this book explores why, as well as discussing other options. I use mindfulness, creative writing, playing music, and restorative yoga. Other people do EMDR, neurofeedback, as well as many other options. You mentioned there's a long waiting list for therapy where you live, so perhaps these are some things you could pursue on your own that will aid in your recovery. I also noticed the farther away I am from the drugs, the more confidence I get. As you add more and more coping skills, you'll start to feel much more confident about yourself, too. I'm glad you're here for support and information. Hi Shep, I read some reviews on the book you mentioned and it sounds brilliant. I will definitely pursue what is available and see what I can go for in the form of therapy and also will purchase a copy of the book. Thank you. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 17, 2016 Author Share Posted April 17, 2016 Hi Just read your story and some bits are so similar to me, I had acne right up to my 20s and it affected my confidence so badly, to the point that I wouldn't leave the house. I think the Doctors thought it was easier to treat that than the acne in the end. I took my last Prozac tablet in August 2015; at first I noticed I felt more, like you did, then I crashed badly 4 months later with major anxiety, couldn't leave my bedroom, thought I was going crazy and it was proof that I was 'mental' and defective off the drugs. Then I found this site. As soon as I knew it wasn't my shoddy brain and that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms it seemed to help. I've been feeling a lot better in this last couple of months, but I know things can just as easily take a backward turn again. Hope things start to turn around for you soon, be kind to yourself. KH Ps just seen in your sig you're trying aromatherapy, I've been having a go with it lately, on my horses too as I'm doing a course in zoopharmacognosy. I was surprised how well it works! If you get anxiety at all then Valerian Root essential oil is a really good one to use - I just carry a little bottle with me and take a sniff when I need to. Rose Otto is said to be good for past trauma and emotional wounds, Lavender and Sandalwood for obsessive worry, Neroli for depression/sadness, Jasmine for comfort and relaxing, Frankincense for fear/stress, Roman Chamomile for OCD and anxiety that shows in skin/stomach disorders, Ylang Ylang for lack of confidence. Those are just a few! Hi Keepinghope Thank you for your support, and advice. I wondered if early age acne had anything to do with my hormones not being in order and then playing a part in the depression/anxiety in my late 20's. How is your self esteem now? Are you getting help for it? Thanks again. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
keepinghope Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 Thank you for your support, and advice. I wondered if early age acne had anything to do with my hormones not being in order and then playing a part in the depression/anxiety in my late 20's. How is your self esteem now? Are you getting help for it? Thanks again. That's a good point about the hormones, could well be. Every time I try to go off the pill I break out horrendously, I think my body finds my own hormones toxic or something! My self esteem is much better than it was (especially after hitting my mid thirties - I don't worry so much about what other people think of me now) but I still struggle sometimes. I think a lot of people do though, even those who appear super-confident, a lot of times it's just a front. There is a huge waiting list for talking therapies in my area, I tried to get on it years ago but got told I wasn't bad enough to warrant any help and to go back on my pills so that was that! (This was after a disastrous attempt to come off Prozac, I'd never heard of withdrawal and apparently neither had my GP) Keep us posted on how you get on, everything crossed for you getting some big improvements soon. 2002 - Prescribed fluoxetine 20mg for mild situational depression and anxiety. Over the years also briefly swapped about on citalopram, sertraline and venlafaxine during poop out. 2012 - Cold turkeyed fluoxetine. Within 3 months was suffering from aggression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia. GP put me back on tablets as I was 'relapsing'. I didn't know anything about WD then. Jul 15 - Wanted to quit fluoxetine again so tapered off (skipping doses) over 6 weeks under advice of GP. Aug 15 - Last fluoxetine dose end of August 2015. Dec 15 - Had my first real crash after discontinuing. Found this site. Aug-Dec 16 - Signed off work because of a herniated disc & severe sciatica. Prescribed diazepam (took for 6 days and got WD symptoms on stopping; nausea, morning cortisol spikes, anxiety, anger) and codeine which I was on for 4 mths. Can confirm - opiate WD is nasty but nowhere near as bad or prolonged as SSRI WD!Withdrawal symptoms have included: extreme anger and irritability, lethargy, depression and weepiness, anxiety, stomach upsets, loss of appetite, excessive sweating, muscle and back pain, insomnia, cortisol surges, akathisia, inability to cope with stress.Things that help: herbal tinctures (rose, lemon balm, chamomile and skullcap), seaweed baths & epsom salt baths, fish oil and magnesium. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hi, MaryDavid. We just met over in the Symptom & Self Care section and I wanted to welcome you to the forum, too. There's a really good book you may be interested in reading - "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= A lot of people with trauma in their background don't do well with treatments like CBT talk therapy. I never did. And this book explores why, as well as discussing other options. I use mindfulness, creative writing, playing music, and restorative yoga. Other people do EMDR, neurofeedback, as well as many other options. You mentioned there's a long waiting list for therapy where you live, so perhaps these are some things you could pursue on your own that will aid in your recovery. I also noticed the farther away I am from the drugs, the more confidence I get. As you add more and more coping skills, you'll start to feel much more confident about yourself, too. I'm glad you're here for support and information. Hi Shep Just wanted to let you know that I've started reading 'Body Keeps Score'. Very interesting so far, so insightful and realise that my feelings of rejection and abondonment have been magnified during withdrawal... Thank you so much for this recommendation. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted April 24, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hi, MaryDavid. We just met over in the Symptom & Self Care section and I wanted to welcome you to the forum, too. There's a really good book you may be interested in reading - "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= A lot of people with trauma in their background don't do well with treatments like CBT talk therapy. I never did. And this book explores why, as well as discussing other options. I use mindfulness, creative writing, playing music, and restorative yoga. Other people do EMDR, neurofeedback, as well as many other options. You mentioned there's a long waiting list for therapy where you live, so perhaps these are some things you could pursue on your own that will aid in your recovery. I also noticed the farther away I am from the drugs, the more confidence I get. As you add more and more coping skills, you'll start to feel much more confident about yourself, too. I'm glad you're here for support and information. Hi Shep Just wanted to let you know that I've started reading 'Body Keeps Score'. Very interesting so far, so insightful and realise that my feelings of rejection and abondonment have been magnified during withdrawal... Thank you so much for this recommendation. You're welcome. I'm so glad it's helpful. I had a lot of problems with PTSD during withdrawal. The fear center and the memory center of the brain are affected, so it can lead to lots of intrusive and scary thoughts and emotions. But most of that is gone now, so it really is all temporary. If you can tell yourself that it's the withdrawal causing the feelings of rejection and abandonment, maybe that will help. It's really not your true thoughts and feelings. Remind yourself that you belong and you're going to heal and feel good again because all of this is just temporary. Take good care of yourself when you're feeling down. And then when you heal, all of those coping skills and positive self talk will be habit. Link to comment
PossibleButterfly Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Hi, MaryDavid. We just met over in the Symptom & Self Care section and I wanted to welcome you to the forum, too. There's a really good book you may be interested in reading - "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= A lot of people with trauma in their background don't do well with treatments like CBT talk therapy. I never did. And this book explores why, as well as discussing other options. I use mindfulness, creative writing, playing music, and restorative yoga. Other people do EMDR, neurofeedback, as well as many other options. You mentioned there's a long waiting list for therapy where you live, so perhaps these are some things you could pursue on your own that will aid in your recovery. I also noticed the farther away I am from the drugs, the more confidence I get. As you add more and more coping skills, you'll start to feel much more confident about yourself, too. I'm glad you're here for support and information. Hi Shep Just wanted to let you know that I've started reading 'Body Keeps Score'. Very interesting so far, so insightful and realise that my feelings of rejection and abondonment have been magnified during withdrawal... Thank you so much for this recommendation. You're welcome. I'm so glad it's helpful. I had a lot of problems with PTSD during withdrawal. The fear center and the memory center of the brain are affected, so it can lead to lots of intrusive and scary thoughts and emotions. But most of that is gone now, so it really is all temporary. If you can tell yourself that it's the withdrawal causing the feelings of rejection and abandonment, maybe that will help. It's really not your true thoughts and feelings. Remind yourself that you belong and you're going to heal and feel good again because all of this is just temporary. Take good care of yourself when you're feeling down. And then when you heal, all of those coping skills and positive self talk will be habit. It is comforting to know that other people have similar issues. I just wish that I had someone in person to talk with and not to feel so alone in this. I keep thinking...maybe if I just go on something again, I will feel like myself again. I am so anxious and uncomfortable in my skin. I don't trust myself. I don't feel love like I use to. It's been four months since I stopped the SNRI. I just recently stopped 50 mg of Lamictal because I didn't think it was helping my anxiety which is what is bothering me the most right now. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, but I'm thinking about canceling it because I feel like she will say I need something for my anxiety. Currently trying to find a therapist. Let's hope they call me back this time. On supplements currently...May 9 2016 Started Lamictal 50 mg for two weeks and of April 2016. Stopped again. Tried Lexapro 5mg for a week in April 2016. Had intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Stopped again. Stopped 50mg Lamictal end of January 2016 Stopped Cymbalta from 20mg Jan. 10, 2016 Went down to 20mg from 40 mg Dec. 2015 Have been on and off anti-depressants for 18 years. Started with Wellbutrin, which made me feel crazy, Prozac, Effexor, Lexapro with Lamictal, Lithium (not for very long), and Cymbalta. I believe there were more. These are the ones I remember. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Hello Mary, how are you? What did you do through weekend? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 Hi Martina, thank you for asking. I am not too bad at the moment. Saturday was difficult in the morning, struggling with negative thoughts which causes me to get emotional and cry. Sunday was not too bad, still struggling with negative thoughts but got better through the day. I spent time with my children and doing normal housework as best as I can. Went for a walk on the beach (although I was not up to it), and it was good. How have you been? I think you are almost 10 months drug free now, that is really good. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Martina23 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Yes, the last three days I felt actually very good. I dont know if I reached the turning point, but I did not have this checking by OCD anymore. I hope I did reavh the turning point. I hate when I have some good days, I think I turned the corner and then comes the wave bigger than before. We had a nice weekend, went to the forest and on Sunday swimming. It was not bad at all. I am happy that you also feel well. Maybe your negative thoughts are also a part of OCD. I hope it will vanish for both of us. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 Feeling hopeful today. Booked an appointment with my gp about 3 weeks ago, and my appointment was made for today. She specialises in mental health; ofcourse i started crying when i was talking about intense tormenting thoughts, which ive found difficult and the cause of all the emotional pain which leads to tears. Like most gp's she mentioned that i was in a depressive state and that it got worse at the time of the month (so she ruled out hormones, especially after two tests that have come back with no sign of imbalance), anyway. SHE ASKED ME HOW I WANTED TO MOVE FORWARD . I said that I did not think medication was the answer but counselling/therapy and she has fowarded me on for therapy ( and i didn't get a referral to a psychyatrist...yes! ). I will hear from them within 2 weeks and then wait for an appointment. I would like to have CBT which will help me in seeing things differently. Honestly, after all the emotional pain we go through, something like this just makes me happy. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 18, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 18, 2016 Wonderful update, MaryDavid! Your doc got an A today, and you did a great job standing up for your needs. I'm glad it made you feel good - you deserve it! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 27, 2018 Author Share Posted April 27, 2018 Just wondering if anyone is battling with frequent urination problems. I believe my frequent urination began a few months after changing from Fluoxetine to Celexa (Citalopram). Its been 2.8yrs since stopping & Im still up at least 8 times a night & more times in the day. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Bellisimo Posted April 27, 2018 Share Posted April 27, 2018 Hey yeah I have bladder problems after my SSRI.. I think i will have it for the rest of my life. 2007 - 2013: was on citalopram (tried to quit a few times, never worked, always went back on. max dose 40mg) 2012-2013: was tapering my citalopram all down to 2,5 mg then quit.2013/aug: Took my last pill W/D hit me bad after a few weeks off my medicine. 2014/August: 12 months off (much improved) 2015/April: 20months off. ( much improved, still some symtoms comes in waves, but not so intense.) 2015/june: 22months off. FELT different than before, all shakings suddenly stopped, feel much better. a fantastic feeling! 2016/Feb : 2 years and 6 months off, END of my suffering. I feel perfectly fine and back to normal. 2018/Oct: Iam still feeling great. It is hard to believe my own story when I read back, what I went through! Link to comment
dj2010 Posted April 28, 2018 Share Posted April 28, 2018 16 hours ago, MaryDavid said: Just wondering if anyone is battling with frequent urination problems. I believe my frequent urination began a few months after changing from Fluoxetine to Celexa (Citalopram). Its been 2.8yrs since stopping & Im still up at least 8 times a night & more times in the day. this was a massive problem for me, it seemed to clear up over night at around 8 months off meds I think, I think its something to do with the brain giving off wrong signals, 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 28, 2018 Author Share Posted April 28, 2018 23 hours ago, Bellisimo said: Hey yeah I have bladder problems after my SSRI.. I think i will have it for the rest of my life. I'm sorry Bellisimo. My life has changed because of this, I'm always going to the toilet. I have pain if I don't. Initially I thought it was UTIs or cysts and wsd given the all clear. Took some tabs too but it only slightly improved. Its been like this for 7 yrs 1 In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted April 28, 2018 Author Share Posted April 28, 2018 8 hours ago, dj2010 said: this was a massive problem for me, it seemed to clear up over night at around 8 months off meds I think, I think its something to do with the brain giving off wrong signals, So happy yours has cleared up..its really frustrating In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 29, 2018 Share Posted April 29, 2018 On 2018-04-27 at 6:27 PM, MaryDavid said: Just wondering if anyone is battling with frequent urination problems. I believe my frequent urination began a few months after changing from Fluoxetine to Celexa (Citalopram). Its been 2.8yrs since stopping & Im still up at least 8 times a night & more times in the day. 4 years off and my “fake uti’s” have gotten loads better!! I only get them once in a while and they clear in a few days. Soooo annoying tho! Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted October 28, 2022 Author Share Posted October 28, 2022 (edited) Hello, Firstly, I would like to thank admin for the good work being done on SA. Secondly, I would like to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, they are helpful. Its good to know that one is not alone in this battle. So, I did the silly thing of stopping Citalopram (20mg) after at least 7 years of taking it. I ran out and I believed I was well enough to do that. My last tablet was in July 2015. For the first few months I realised that ; I could cry again when I watched a sad movie, I could feel compassion towards people again, Libido improved, I could feel things more. I had a few days spread out over 3 months where I would cry for no reason. By month 4, I cried at my volunteer job. Felt extreme low self esteem. Wanted to end my marriage. (worse at that time of the month - in my early 40s). Tormented through insecurity. Grew up in an institution from the age of 3 year for abondoned children, orphans or parents who could not look after their children for one reason or another. I devloped acne at 10 years old through to adulthood. I was diagnosed with depression in 2000 after numerous attempts of suicide, mainly because of infidelity in a relationship. I was hospitalized for 3 months whilst they found drugs that would stabilize me. In 2000 was started on ; Carbamezipine (between 100mg and 500mg unfortunately i cannot remember); Fluoexitine 20mg; Clonozepam 500micrograms. In 2004 I got married and fell pregnant. Had to immediately stop taking Carbamezipine. Withdrawals of that were really bad but neither I or my husband new why I was so badly behaved, being nasty and irrational and my boss at the time thought i was a nightmare during my early pregnancy. It was a shock to hear that I was such a nightmare. I thought it was pregnancy hormones. (It was withdrawal)| In 2007 my husband asked me to stop the medication because he felt they were changing due to dumped emotions. I stopped Fluoexitine and Clonozepam cold turkey. Soon i was an emotional bag, once again, eventually resigned from my work and had a nervous breakdown which lasted at least 12 weeks. I went back on the medication and began to stabilize. Went back to work (different job) In 2009 I changed from fluoextine to Citalopram. In 2011 had my 2nd child. In 2014 I tapered off Clonozepam and didn't seem to have any adverse side effects. Update: My face looked sad and hostile. Right now Im going through alot of emotional pain, mainly due to enhanced feelings of insecurity. Its like a torment. Sometimes the feelings go and I feel fine. I feel more emotional in the mornings and tend to feel better at night. Im currently trying Choline and Inositol and B complex. Thank you for your time. Edited October 29, 2022 by ChessieCat extracted post from quote box In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 29, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 29, 2022 Hello and welcome back. Thank you for providing an update. So are you now completely off all psychiatric drugs? Taking a complex can be an issue. It is better only try single supplements. And only try one at a time at a low dose. That way if you react to something you will know what caused it. Some members find B vitamins activating, especially B6. 2 hours ago, MaryDavid said: Right now Im going through alot of emotional pain, mainly due to enhanced feelings of insecurity. Its like a torment. Sometimes the feelings go and I feel fine. I feel more emotional in the mornings and tend to feel better at night. I'm assuming that you are now in your late 40s or early 50s. Some of these symptoms might be due to perimenopause/menopause. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
MaryDavid Posted October 31, 2022 Author Share Posted October 31, 2022 Thank you. Yes im now completely off all psychiatric drugs, its been 5 years now. It could be due to perimenopause, but im much more stable than i was earlier in the process. In 2001 - started on Carbamezapine (can't remember dose), Fluoexitine 20mg, Clanozepam (low dose) after a nervous breakdown. In 2004 - abruptly stopped carbamezapine after falling pregnant. In 2009 - changed from Fluoexitine to Citalopram 20mg. In 2014 - tappered off clanozepam. In Aug 2015 - cold turkey off Citalopram From Aug - Dec 2015 I had mostly flu-like symptoms and trouble sleeping. From Jan - April 2016 Emotional nightmare ensued, paranoia, excessive anxiety and tormenting thoughts, basically trying to manage these emotions and thoughts which are exhausting. Lots of intense emotions followed by tears, at times howling when Im alone.In March 2016 I tried Choline & Inisitol, Vit B Complex, Using Aromatherapy, like Lavendar, Clary Sage and others. In April STOPPED Choline & Inositol as I beleive it was giving me shakes and making me more anxious. It also made me feel like i'd taken a benzo tablet making me feel sedated. Reading - The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (recommended by a member on this group). Symptoms - extreme low self esteem and insecurity, intense emotions and tearfulness. This is so so hard. But im going to keep pushing. Feel bad for my 2 girls and husband. I don't want to be seen in this way, especially by the girls. Self-help : praying, meditating, breathing exercises and physical exercises. Ceterizine (antihistamine) - I've been taking this for many years now for itchiness in my palms and feet. I take them as and when I need them. JULY 2016 Dr Bach homeopathic remedies and 'rescue remedy' Link to comment
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