GaryG: my intro and experience

[GaryG]

Hi guys, thanks for having me along. I have been what you may call a silent observer here but having read many of peoples stories on here, I thought I would come and add my own.

 

I started feeling anxious (no history at all) at the end of 2011. I could not get my head around it, it got worse and then I started to feel symptoms I knew could only be depression. I had heard of depression before and instantly realised how serious a condition it is. One thing I could not understand though is I simply had no reason to feel this way. I was always confident and content with life.

 

After several months of feeling like crap, I finally decided to go to the doctors. I was told I am depressed and have an 'anxiety disorder' and medication was suggested. I was put onto 20mg of Citalopram, which was to be increased to 40mg a week later. The first tablet I took made me feel like I had taken something that made me high. I was gurning my face off and felt borderline euphoric and on edge. I carried on taking regardless then upped the dose as instructed. Anyway, 9 months later after ups and downs but still generally feeling like crap, the doctor put me in for a blood test to check for any underlying condition. Results back - I was found to be hyperthyroid. Main symptoms, depression and anxiety due to abnormal hormones (T3/T4/TSH).

 

So I was put on carbimazole, which corrected it. I felt brilliant after about 8 weeks. So this lead me to question being on SSRI's. I told doctor I wish to stop taking it. I had dropped to 20mg by this time. He told me to reduce to 10mg for two weeks then stop. After 2 days without taking any, I was a complete and utter mess. Anxious, stressed, unable to think/sleep. I was quickly put back on them by the doctor and the symptoms cleared up quickly. I tried to come off again, same problem so was switched to Fluoxetine, which my doctor said will be easier to stop. I was feeling down when started Fluoxetine so agreed to stay on it for a couple of months. It never did jack, I was hating the feeling of 'not getting a kick out of anything' and feeling 'flat'.

 

Stopped Fluoxetine for 6 weeks, was great then bang.....was a mess again. I found out later that had something to do with the half life flush out of Fluoxetine. I tried to stay strong through it but Christmas was coming up so thought would go back on and try and face it in the new year. Going back onto Fluoxetine was a disaster. It sent me completely nuts, well not literally but my entire system felt jacked up. I could not sleep, sit still, relax or think straight. I was told to stick with it by the doctor, two weeks I endured this. I finally was taken off Fluoxetine by the doctor and at this point I asked the doctor for Mirtazapine. By this point I had done a lot of research and found out that Mirtazapine is sedating (which is what I needed) at a low dose. At this point I felt like I was going to take things into my own hands, thankfully the doctor agreed to prescribe Mirtazapine. Had to wait 4 days to flush out the Fluoxetine. Mirtazapine was a godsend, within 30 minutes of taking the first tablet, I felt calm and relaxed. I slept like a baby for the first time in weeks. I decided to only take 7.5mg despite being prescribed 15mg. I remained on this for a month, then just stopped taking it. I have been off it for two and a half months. In that time I have mostly been fine. There have been the odd rough nights sleep but on the whole it has been much easier than coming off SSRI's, which I found impossible to just stop taking (at time did not know about tapers etc). Come to the conclusion they are given out far too easy and should only be given to people who have severe depression.

 

So that's my story. I am feeling about as fine as can be now. I still feel like I lack emotions such as being excited or feeling joy. Not sure if I habe been stripped of these permanently or not. Hoping not, but like a lot of you guys I feel like I have been sold out, given a raw deal but I am not going to be bitter about it. That is just counter productive, for me, all that matters is recovering. I wish you all the very best

[SquirrellyGirl]

Hi GaryG, 

 

Wow, what a harrowing story!  I've heard of people coming down with depression with absolutely no life events/triggers to cause it, and wonder if all along they had some other problem like thyroid, some other endocrine issue, or were on antibiotics, etc.  Yet, they got medicated for a mental health condition and ended up on the medi-go-round. 

 

You are so lucky you ended up relatively unscathed!  I'm sure the emotions will return with time since it is has only been 2 1/2 months off.  I'm sure you've read around on here and seen that some folks have no real issue right after they come off but months later get hit with a wave.  Just a head's up in case it happens to you. Hopefully not!

 

Thanks for sharing your story, so glad it worked out in the end!

 

SG

[GaryG]

Hey, many thanks for taking time to read and reply SquirellyGirl. I must admit, I can feel I am not out of the woods just yet. I spent just over 3 years going through what I wrote. I often wonder what things would have been like if the doctor decided to run bloodwork first, instead of throwing me onto medication I probably did not need. But hey, that's life and I rather just deal with things with a positive attitude than sit around feeling angry or sorry for myself.

 

I have seen what some have gone through on here, which I find nothing short of disgusting. The whole idea of medicine is supposed to be about healing, not leaving people worse off for taking it. I must admit, I find that my tolerance of stress is very low right now. I am looking into ways to try and work on this, while taking things as easy as possible. As I am definitely still in the early days of recovery. I definitely think I have been lucky with the Mirtazapine. If calmed me down and I seem to have got off it with relative ease.

 

I do hope that you yourself is doing OK and are making great progress with your recovery . One thing I have learned on here is that it takes time, hard work and being strong. Like you said, I have got to look out for the possibility of waves. I have read about many on here suffering having wave/window like symptoms as they reduce or break free of their meds.

 

Best wishes

 

Gary

[rupa]

On 4/20/2016 at 3:50 AM, GaryG said:

Hey, many thanks for taking time to read and reply SquirellyGirl. I must admit, I can feel I am not out of the woods just yet. I spent just over 3 years going through what I wrote. I often wonder what things would have been like if the doctor decided to run bloodwork first, instead of throwing me onto medication I probably did not need. But hey, that's life and I rather just deal with things with a positive attitude than sit around feeling angry or sorry for myself.

 

I have seen what some have gone through on here, which I find nothing short of disgusting. The whole idea of medicine is supposed to be about healing, not leaving people worse off for taking it. I must admit, I find that my tolerance of stress is very low right now. I am looking into ways to try and work on this, while taking things as easy as possible. As I am definitely still in the early days of recovery. I definitely think I have been lucky with the Mirtazapine. If calmed me down and I seem to have got off it with relative ease.

 

I do hope that you yourself is doing OK and are making great progress with your recovery . One thing I have learned on here is that it takes time, hard work and being strong. Like you said, I have got to look out for the possibility of waves. I have read about many on here suffering having wave/window like symptoms as they reduce or break free of their meds.

 

Best wishes

 

Gary

Gary,

How are you now?

I Would like to know,how are you  in these 4 years?

What is your thyroid condition.

Is it safe to use carbimazole for thyroid?

Regards.