Prohealer Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Link to father's topic: paranoidandroid Hello everyone, Iv'e actually been looking at this site for quite a while now to get me through and decided to make an account now I feel in a slightly better place to do so. Currently I'd just like peoples opinions on my situation.. do you think I'll ever fully recover? My history in the signature sums it up quite concisely so if you want to ask any questions please do. I believe I will but I just want to hear it from other people, as you may know this can be a lonely place to be. I wasn't aware for all this time how damaging these drugs are and assumed my visual snow and DP was just related to anxiety. But now I have no doubt in my mind they caused these symptoms. I may not go back to exactly how I was 6 years ago, which is upsetting, but as long as going forward I'll be able to make a better reality for myself, then I think I'll be okay. I'd also be very interested in what people think of my diet and if you think I should refine it in any way. Edited January 22, 2017 by ChessieCat added link to father's topic 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 2, 2016 Hello Prohealer, welcome to SA! Thank you for filling out your signature block, really helps to get a sense of where you are coming from. It would help if you could add just a little more info there, such as dosages and dosage changes. If you click "Follow" above, you will be notified anytime someone visits your thread. Use your thread as a place to document your journey, ask questions, give updates, etc. You can bookmark your thread to find it quickly. I'm sorry you've had such a rough ride with these meds. They make our nervous systems very sensitive to street drugs as you found out with the Ecstasy. All the switching of drugs late last year/early this year only added to that, but the docs don't seem to understand the risks of switching meds that way! I would say that your diet is ideal, though I'd be careful about the caffeine in the green tea. What are your current symptoms? How is your sleep? Did you stay on the same level of meds from 2012, when you began having the side effects listed, until late 2015? You came off of fluoxetine and Risperdal after having taken them for years, so it may be some time before you get through the withdrawal, but with understanding comes power: Introduction to AD Withdrawal Syndrome Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization You are about five months out since being off of the two meds, which is still within range of reinstating a small amount for symptom relief if you feel that the level of withdrawal is unbearable, but that is a very individual thing and only you know what you can take. When we say "reinstate," we do NOT me the full dose or anywhere near it. Usually we start with 1-2 mg, depending on which drug and what dosage you were on when you came off. The idea is to not trigger an adverse reaction or severe side effects (like the RLS you experienced with the fluoxetine reinstatement) and to find the sweet spot, the minimum amount that will give relief. About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms You are doing very well with your self care and have done your research, so I think you are the right track to healing. You are young, and there is no reason to think that you won't make a full recovery with time, patience, and good self-care. In the meantime, as you feel you are ready, you might want to look into alternative techniques for dealing with OCD. There's tons of free, online CBT self-help. We have a good link for non-drug techniques that will hopefully be helpful. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms OCD Obsessive Thoughts, Compulsive Behaviours I am glad that you found SA - you will receive all kinds of support here - you are not alone :-) SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Hi there, Yep, youth is on your side. You have every reason to believe you will heal; perhaps it won't feel soon enough, and this is not a linear process, but I think if you follow the advice of the mods here, and accept that this is a process that doesn't have a calendar, you will be much better. I agree w/ SG about the green tea. I tried it once, because there is a lot of research that claims that the theanine in it is calming, and cancels out the stimulating effect of the caffeine. Well, it may work for some, but for many of us in w/d, supplements can work paradoxically. My green tea "experiment" kept me up all night. Darn, I love that stuff too! The rest of your diet looks and sounds good. We can't control a lot in this process, but we can control our diet, so keeping it as clean as possible will help your brain/body heal. You are in the right place. Best wishes. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted May 2, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 2, 2016 I believe you'll heal too. I've been mulling this over for a year now since I began tapering and I've come to think that I might come out of all this even better than I was before. Maybe not the same in all ways, but with more strength, more ability to accept, more ability to listen to my body and give it what it needs, and a better diet. So many other ways too. The drugs have changed things in my life, certainly, but I don't believe they can change who I am, because that is an essence or a truth which is untouchable. What I think is that all the challenges in my life make me more of who I am. Well, those ideas may or may not gel with you, but I'm sure as you come through this you'll develop your own understandings of healing and being. It's good to have you here. SG gave you the links you need, so I won't add any but I'll just say that reinstating a very small amount (and then tapering gently) is worth considering as a smoother way to healing. Welcome to SA, Karen 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted May 2, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 2, 2016 I may not go back to exactly how I was 6 years ago, which is upsetting, but as long as going forward I'll be able to make a better reality for myself, then I think I'll be okay. Welcome to the forum from me, too. I like what you're saying here about making "a better reality for myself". Yes, many people do just that - they come away from this much stronger. You sound very determined and I bet you do come away with a better reality. And you're definitely going to be okay. Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 3, 2016 Author Share Posted May 3, 2016 Thanks for the replies and making me feel so welcome. I would say that your diet is ideal, though I'd be careful about the caffeine in the green tea. What are your current symptoms? How is your sleep? Okay I'll cut down on the green Tea. Currently I'm experiencing pretty much every symptom under the sun, and they change in severity from time to time. The main problems though are PSSD, mild Akathisia, night sweats, agitation and aggression, hot flushes, overall low mood and anxiety/worry, strange itchy "electric" feelings, brain zaps, the list goes on... As for my sleep I often find it hard to fall asleep due to anxiety but once I'm asleep I manage to get a good night unless the night sweats happen to wake me up but this is beginning to become a much rarer occurrence. Did you stay on the same level of meds from 2012, when you began having the side effects listed, until late 2015? As far as I can remember I was on 40mg Fluoxetine at that point and was kept on that from then on, the Risperdal stayed pretty much the same (1mg) until the increase up to 8mg (still blows my mind how my doctor thought that was okay). I might have tried to come off but was always told to keep taking them. As for reinstating, I think I'll be okay, but I will consider it if times become too hard. In the meantime, as you feel you are ready, you might want to look into alternative techniques for dealing with OCD. There's tons of free, online CBT self-help. We have a good link for non-drug techniques that will hopefully be helpful. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms OCD Obsessive Thoughts, Compulsive Behaviours Thank you for the link. I'll definitely look into this if anything just to deal with the trauma this has caused me. The rest of your diet looks and sounds good. We can't control a lot in this process, but we can control our diet, so keeping it as clean as possible will help your brain/body heal. Thanks, Iv'e even tried to use non toxic cleaning products, etc. just little things. I believe you'll heal too. I've been mulling this over for a year now since I began tapering and I've come to think that I might come out of all this even better than I was before. Maybe not the same in all ways, but with more strength, more ability to accept, more ability to listen to my body and give it what it needs, and a better diet. So many other ways too. The drugs have changed things in my life, certainly, but I don't believe they can change who I am, because that is an essence or a truth which is untouchable. What I think is that all the challenges in my life make me more of who I am. I completely agree, as they say everything happens for a reason and this is life's way of making a much better future for us. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 Okay so after some thought Iv'e decided ultimately that I'm going to try to reinstate at least the Fluoxetine at 1mg and not increase that in order to cope with my symptoms and give my brain a chance to recover more efficiently. Wish me luck. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
CallaLily Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Hello everyone, Iv'e actually been looking at this site for quite a while now to get me through and decided to make an account now I feel in a slightly better place to do so. Currently I'd just like peoples opinions on my situation.. do you think I'll ever fully recover? My history in the signature sums it up quite concisely so if you want to ask any questions please do. I believe I will but I just want to hear it from other people, as you may know this can be a lonely place to be. I wasn't aware for all this time how damaging these drugs are and assumed my visual snow and DP was just related to anxiety. But now I have no doubt in my mind they caused these symptoms. I may not go back to exactly how I was 6 years ago, which is upsetting, but as long as going forward I'll be able to make a better reality for myself, then I think I'll be okay. I'd also be very interested in what people think of my diet and if you think I should refine it in any way. Welcome to the site. I'm a new member too and have discovered a lot of great help here so far... just in reading other people's stories and history etc. Re: chamomile tea... it's soothing and tastes great but it won't actually assist you with sleep because it's not soluble in water. Only fat. Make some cookies up for yourself and enjoy one or two before bedtime: http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/lemon-chamomile-shortbread- enjoy with your chamomile tea I'm trying to eat the same as what I normally do so I'm not over burdening my body with detox over detox over detox. Whilst you're feeling poorly, sometimes comfort food is good, so try not to be too stringent, would be my only advice. It's great you're eating well! but remember to ENJOY your food too... Peace, Cayperz Off Lithium (1000mg) since December 2016 Off Lamictal (50mg)since June 2016 Off Abilify (5/10mg) since 2015 It's diagnonsense! So, I threw it to the wind and kept walking... And I will never go back. Link to comment
AliG Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 Hi Prohealer. That is probably a wise move. It would be a good idea to keep notes on your symptoms , throughout this process as it will help you to assess your progress. Rate symptoms daily to track patterns and progress I hope it goes well for you . Please keep us posted. Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 11, 2016 Author Share Posted May 11, 2016 Welcome to the site. I'm a new member too and have discovered a lot of great help here so far... just in reading other people's stories and history etc. Re: chamomile tea... it's soothing and tastes great but it won't actually assist you with sleep because it's not soluble in water. Only fat. Make some cookies up for yourself and enjoy one or two before bedtime: http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/lemon-chamomile-shortbread- enjoy with your chamomile tea I'm trying to eat the same as what I normally do so I'm not over burdening my body with detox over detox over detox. Whilst you're feeling poorly, sometimes comfort food is good, so try not to be too stringent, would be my only advice. It's great you're eating well! but remember to ENJOY your food too... Welcome to the site too Cayperz. Thanks for the suggestion of the cookies although I'd rather stick to my diet. I will let myself have the treat once in a while but I'd like to keep carbs out as much as possible, just personal preference. Hi Prohealer. That is probably a wise move. It would be a good idea to keep notes on your symptoms , throughout this process as it will help you to assess your progress. Rate symptoms daily to track patterns and progress I hope it goes well for you . Please keep us posted. Ali Thanks, will do Ali. I'll jot them down and post my results. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
CallaLily Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I'm a carboholic at the moment! hahaha! Your commitment to overall health is blotty awesome! Off Lithium (1000mg) since December 2016 Off Lamictal (50mg)since June 2016 Off Abilify (5/10mg) since 2015 It's diagnonsense! So, I threw it to the wind and kept walking... And I will never go back. Link to comment
btdt Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I too think you will heal and heal completely now that you know once your off this merry go round...just say no.. at SA you will find other ways to deal with stress and life that will see you thru the rest of your life... welcome and I wish you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 15, 2016 Author Share Posted May 15, 2016 Unfortunately I've had to come off the Fluoxetine. I started noticing my legs becoming extremely restless again (even on as little as 1mg). I also seem to be developing Tardive dyskinesia too, mostly in my toes but also in my fingers and upper lip. I think I may have become sensitive to the drugs idk but it looks like I'm gonna have to cope with the symptoms until they (hopefully) go away. :/ 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 22, 2016 Author Share Posted May 22, 2016 Hello, So just want to update, I'm REALLY struggling right now. The past week has been sheer hell and because of this Iv'e found myself comfort eating and ruining my diet and sleep pattern.. With the emergence of this TD alongside all of these other symptoms (some of which arent related to w/d and may not go away), iv'e started to lose hope. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted May 22, 2016 Member Share Posted May 22, 2016 There are a few things I could say to you that might help you cope and hang on. Are you ok? This can get pretty rough but you will most definitely survive. One thing I will note (unless you want more) is that in your sig you mention drinking lots of chamomile tea. I'd limit that to one cup. Many things can turn paradoxical in wd and I can't find the links right now but too much chamomile is not good for even a healthy person. Theres always someone browsing the site at any hour. If you post anything in your thread it rises to the top of the list and is seen on the first page. If you need moral support we have plenty of that! What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 22, 2016 Author Share Posted May 22, 2016 Thanks for replying cymbaltawithdrawal5600. Usually I try my best to stay positive but I'm not seeing much hope any more, my Mother doesn't always help either. Thanks for the suggestion with the tea btw. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted May 22, 2016 Member Share Posted May 22, 2016 You might want to glance at what I have written to new member SuperSteve. I don't have much time to write but just understand that this can get rough and your body thrashes around trying to come back to normal after taking these drugs. Everything is affected. You won't be able to do the he-man stuff for awhile and any efforts to stay on diet and exercise programs are likely to make you feel real ill. There is lots of stuff on the site, I linked Steve to a really good post explaining some of it. Just keep posting here and ask us anything you want and keep telling us how it is going, ok? What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 22, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 22, 2016 HI Prohealer, What are the sensations like in your toes and lip? Did these start after you stopped the Prozac again? Did the restless legs stop after you stopped it? How many days were you on the 1 mg and how many days off now? Akathesia is a state of agitation, distress, and restlessness that is an occasional side-effect of antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs. So, not likely the cause of these sensations with your body -parts. Many of us get nerve sensations, burning or numbness, as a withdrawal symptom. I know I had numb lip and tongue sensations for awhile. You are clearly in a wave, right now, Prohealer, but don't give up hope; it is a temporary situation and you are not doomed to be this way forever, though that might not feel the case. You mustn't give up hope. Time and again people who feel the way you do now come back in a window and say they can't believe they were thinking the way they were in a wave. Don't judge yourself for the comfort eating. The last thing you need to do is think negatively of yourself right now. You deserve self-compassion. When you say your mother doesn't always help, what do you mean? Is she not understanding of what you are going through? Have you shown her information from this site about what these drugs do to your nervous system and what is happening in withdrawal? Right now, you need to do all you can in the way of self-care to help you through this wave. I'm posting a link you've probably seen before, but this would be a good time to read through. If nothing else, it will give you something else to focus on for distraction. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Aside from the restless legs, did the reinstatement make you feel any better? SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 22, 2016 Author Share Posted May 22, 2016 You might want to glance at what I have written to new member SuperSteve. I don't have much time to write but just understand that this can get rough and your body thrashes around trying to come back to normal after taking these drugs. Everything is affected. You won't be able to do the he-man stuff for awhile and any efforts to stay on diet and exercise programs are likely to make you feel real ill. There is lots of stuff on the site, I linked Steve to a really good post explaining some of it. Just keep posting here and ask us anything you want and keep telling us how it is going, ok? Iv'e had a look at what you wrote to SuperSteve and the link you provided. It's all reassuring but sometimes I doubt my body's ability to heal. I guess I should go a little easier on myself. Atm lying in bed is all I can handle so I guess I should go with it for now. Thanks, you've helped quite a lot. HI Prohealer, What are the sensations like in your toes and lip? Did these start after you stopped the Prozac again? Did the restless legs stop after you stopped it? How many days were you on the 1 mg and how many days off now? Akathesia is a state of agitation, distress, and restlessness that is an occasional side-effect of antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs. So, not likely the cause of these sensations with your body -parts. Many of us get nerve sensations, burning or numbness, as a withdrawal symptom. I know I had numb lip and tongue sensations for awhile. You are clearly in a wave, right now, Prohealer, but don't give up hope; it is a temporary situation and you are not doomed to be this way forever, though that might not feel the case. You mustn't give up hope. Time and again people who feel the way you do now come back in a window and say they can't believe they were thinking the way they were in a wave. Don't judge yourself for the comfort eating. The last thing you need to do is think negatively of yourself right now. You deserve self-compassion. When you say your mother doesn't always help, what do you mean? Is she not understanding of what you are going through? Have you shown her information from this site about what these drugs do to your nervous system and what is happening in withdrawal? Right now, you need to do all you can in the way of self-care to help you through this wave. I'm posting a link you've probably seen before, but this would be a good time to read through. If nothing else, it will give you something else to focus on for distraction. Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Aside from the restless legs, did the reinstatement make you feel any better? SG Hi, SquirrellyGirl, I just find my toes and lip, (as well as other body parts including my fingers) often twitch and move on their own. After coming off Prozac on the 15th it seems to be lessening in severity but it's still there. I was on the prozac for about 5 days. I'll try not to give up hope but I have so many symptoms. Some of which iv'e had for years and probably won't go away. My Mother does try to understand and iv'e shown her this site but she suffers from CPTSD and often says really negative things which put me down. And no the reinstatement didn't make me feel any better as a whole. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 22, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 22, 2016 I am including a link to a post I wrote about Eckhart Tolle's teachings, as I think this is pertinent for you regarding your mom. I used to be very sensitive to comments made by my parents or significant other, easily get my feelings hurt, easily think negatively towards myself as a result of such comments. I wish I had learned about ET a long time ago as I may have processed life in a healthier way if I had! Listen to both audios with an open mind: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10992-eckhart-tolle-the-pain-body-and-mental-suffering-during-withdrawal/ You are young and the brain is an amazing organ capable of healing. Many folks come here thinking that they will be the exception, but there is NO reason to believe that! Video: Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery What is Happening in Your Brain Have you started taking Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil? Excellent for healing. SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 22, 2016 Share Posted May 22, 2016 Hi SquirrelyGirl, I just listened to one of Eckhart Tolle's You Tube videos on fear. He talked about "being with it" and "bringing an awareness to it" and "accepting the unacceptable"...all things I think I have done, as I really have no choice. I just never get it; how does bringing an awareness to negative emotions and feelings help one handle them or make it any easier? What am I not doing? What am I missing? Most of us are accepting the unacceptable because we have no choice. I have lived what would be deemed an unacceptable life by most for 15 years. I am aware of my fears. I am "with them" all the time. I am not being at all snide with these questions. I just don't get what I am not getting. Any thoughts? I know this is deep stuff; maybe too deep for most people to have an answer for. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Sorry ProHealer, I didn't mean to hijack your thread. Just responding to a response to you. It's hard to know where to post sometime. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I meant to add that I hope you feel some stability soon. I am sorry about your mom. I know how tough it is to not be around people who "get it." The thing is, no matter how hard anyone tries, they can't. They literally have to live in our bodies and feel what we feel, physically and mentally, to get it. We are tough cookies...all of us...people just don't know it. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 23, 2016 Hi SquirrelyGirl, I just listened to one of Eckhart Tolle's You Tube videos on fear. He talked about "being with it" and "bringing an awareness to it" and "accepting the unacceptable"...all things I think I have done, as I really have no choice. I just never get it; how does bringing an awareness to negative emotions and feelings help one handle them or make it any easier? What am I not doing? What am I missing? Most of us are accepting the unacceptable because we have no choice. I have lived what would be deemed an unacceptable life by most for 15 years. I am aware of my fears. I am "with them" all the time. I am not being at all snide with these questions. I just don't get what I am not getting. Any thoughts? I know this is deep stuff; maybe too deep for most people to have an answer for. Grace Maybe it would help to listen/read Claire Weekes as well. All along the same lines. This is something written about her work that really put it in relatable terms, and it is the same concept as what Eckhart teaches. Be the Watcher. http://www.anxietycoach.com/claire-weekes.html She talks more about anxiety, but our despondency about our situation in withdrawal is of the same ilk. SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Thanks, SquirrelleyGirl. I just read the links. The swimming vs. floating thing is a good visual to hold onto. I often wonder if one can really change their mindset as they get older. I have been fearful for 56 years at least. My dad died when I was five; there were seven of us left w/ a mom who was always stressed. I remember worrying about her having enough money at age 5. Can I really change such deep-rooted fear and resulting hyper-vigilance? BTW, I have been to many therapists all my life, some briefly and some for an extended period of time. To date, I have not really found a therapist who practices what Tolle and Weakes preach. No one seems particularly skilled in doing anything but listening. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg. had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted May 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 23, 2016 Thanks, SquirrelleyGirl. I just read the links. The swimming vs. floating thing is a good visual to hold onto. I often wonder if one can really change their mindset as they get older. I have been fearful for 56 years at least. My dad died when I was five; there were seven of us left w/ a mom who was always stressed. I remember worrying about her having enough money at age 5. Can I really change such deep-rooted fear and resulting hyper-vigilance? BTW, I have been to many therapists all my life, some briefly and some for an extended period of time. To date, I have not really found a therapist who practices what Tolle and Weakes preach. No one seems particularly skilled in doing anything but listening. Grace LOL, I know what you mean about the therapists not knowing this stuff! I'd had lots of therapy that never implemented lasting change in my thought processes! But guess what? You can rewire your brain, no matter how thick and deeply routed your wires are! I spent most of my adult life in negativity, and it drove me nuts when people would say "just think positively." I'd want to snap their heads off! I always thought towards the negative and seemed very resistant to change. I began a type of CBT therapy last year that focuses on breaking old circuits and wiring healthier ones. My group leader said it takes three weeks to break a wire and rewire it. One of my wires was around feeling unworthy, so I recited a mantra, if you will, every day for about two weeks, in a format that my brain could accept. My brain would not accept "I AM worthy," but it would accept "It's not true that I'm not worthy." I recited that 20-50 repetitions/day for about two weeks, and I can honestly say that the thought that I'm not worthy has not crossed my mind since. I'm 50 years old and have felt unworthy all my life! Doing those "grind ins" on key concepts AND reading the Power of Now by ET and listening to his audios have done more for me over the last year than all the therapy I engaged in over 25 years combined! Prohealer, I'm sorry we hijacked your thread - I'd have moderated this portion over to Savinggrace's thread but I'm not sure how! I hope you can glean something from this conversation! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
btdt Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I just never get it; how does bringing an awareness to negative emotions and feelings help one handle them or make it any easier? What am I not doing? What am I missing? Most of us are accepting the unacceptable because we have no choice. I am not him but this is what I think and my experience. There are wd states of fear drug wd induced fear is not the same as normal fear imho... they are different. I think to sit in it when not in hard wd will allow a person to notice that it comes it goes nothing happened except the feeling. It is better then running constantly or hiding or however your use to dealing with fear. I found the same thing when I was in a previous bout of undx wd and tried to do CBT... forget about it. I was in a group and most there were getting it.. you have to work a program what happened before the fear what thought it brought how is that linked to other things ect ect... I recall saying something like this... if I could do any of that I would not need to be here at all. wd induced fear is different it is irrational it comes from no place and can be tracked to no place. It has no rhyme or reason At that point I had not cognitive problems like I have with this wd not even close I could have rationalized anything if there were any track to follow... there wasn't. Rational fearnon wd fear on the other hand can be tracked... makes sense to you and to other humans once it is tracked and nailed down. As for negative emotions I had a very long stint of negative emotions... long and hard. I too had a hard life but for some reason was not affected badly by it the stress was thought normal as everyone we knew was poor we all had enough food and a roof low expectations maybe and a lot of fun. Negative emotions I found help in the same guys book called the power of now... he talks of the part of the mind that rattles on and will not let us rest... and how to shut it up to me that was intrusive thoughts. A trick watch intently for the next thought when you watching they don't come if they do start over great trick has severed me well and simple as the day is long. In itself that did not cure the negativity and I had looked all over at plently of books and done plenty of work the Qu dong thing can't think of the right name all sorts of meditation books from the library. I always say I am going back for one in particular.... The power of now is a good book but there were others too and I tried them all... doing something anything is better then doing nothing is my belief... it may be that it just ended when it was ready to end as far as negativity goes it is hard to tell. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 "So just want to update, I'm REALLY struggling right now. The past week has been sheer hell and because of this Iv'e found myself comfort eating and ruining my diet and sleep pattern.." You are lowering your cortisol according to this body builder "Ingesting carbs during or post-workout also blunts cortisol release." One easy way to manage cortisol is to get sufficient rest between exercise sessions, and also enough sleep.( we will forgive him he does not know wd) A higher protein intake, especially branched-chain amino acids, also helps withrecovery. Cortisol wants to break down your muscle and increase body fat, the very things that you hope to avoid. WHAT ARE SIGNS OF EXCESSIVE CORTISOL PRODUCTION? Water retention, bloat, excess fat in the central area (trunk) of the body, and failure to increase muscle size and strength. Cortisol promotes the release of myostatin, a protein that breaks down muscle. WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF INADEQUATE CORTISOL PRODUCTION?Weakness, fatigue. WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN CORTISOL AND TESTOSTERONE LEVELS?Cortisol has an inverse relationship with all anabolic hormones, includingtestosterone, growth hormone, and insulin. When cortisol is elevated, these other anabolic hormones are depressed, and vice versa. I'VE READ THAT UNFIT PEOPLE TEND TO RELEASE MORE CORTISOL THAN THE FIT. TRUE, AND IF SO, WHY?The enzyme that converts an inactive form of cortisol into the active form is found in fat cells. So the obese tend to produce more cortisol. Whether this perpetuates the obesity is still a matter of debate among scientists. WHAT SUPPLEMENTS HELP WITH CORTISOL CONTROL? AND DO THEY REALLY WORK?Phosphatidylserine has been suggested in some studies to support healthy levels of cortisol, with subjects taking 400 milligrams daily. Another supplement for this purpose is Relora, a plant extract.I have never hear of either supplement and there is a thread here called how to lower you cortisol I just can't find it now. peace http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/control-your-cortisol WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Prohealer Posted May 26, 2016 Author Share Posted May 26, 2016 Idm you guys on my thread. I guess at the end of the day, as long as no matter what I do I can only get better. I'm gonna have to try to return to my diet though. I think my comfort eating is backfiring as iv'e been having diarrhoea and other symptoms recently. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Prohealer Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 A short update. Since my last update I went back on my diet and kept trying to keep myself as calm and relaxed as possible but I again I broke. For a few weeks now ive been comfort eating again, really trying to block out all the symptoms to try to experience a "normal" life again and tbh, it's been helping. My Tardive Dyskinesia is worse than ever before, but Iv'e been writing a lot of music and doing the things I used to enjoy. I cant do everything i used to do but i'm able to listen and write music and it's keeping me going. Ill try to go back on my regime when i'm ready but what i'm doing is keeping me from going over the edge. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus scallywag Posted June 30, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 30, 2016 Next to oxygen and water, food is the next most critical substance we consume. Food can and does have powerful influence on almost every reaction and process in our bodies, affecting the same systems and processes sensitized by withdrawal. Making a dramatic change in how you eat, especially one that requires a fair amount of discipline as a low carb regime does, can be difficult to maintain in withdrawal. Maybe you could make smaller changes that will take you toward a low carb protocol? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to 0.0 mg Aug. 12; details here scallywag's IntroductionOnline spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet Link to comment
Prohealer Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 I could do. I just sometimes get too stressed out and anxious when I have to stop myself from eating things when Im not entirely sure ill get better again anyway. I know its important but I guess im past caring for now. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus scallywag Posted June 30, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 30, 2016 That's what I meant -- take a more relaxed attitude to eating. You're dealing with enough change right now dealing with the fluoxetine withdrawal. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to 0.0 mg Aug. 12; details here scallywag's IntroductionOnline spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet Link to comment
Prohealer Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Update: So its coming up for me being off of drugs for a whole year now. It's been a bumpy road to say the least. I recently enrolled at college again although I'm not entirely sure that that was a great idea.. Enrolment day today was difficult and I came home and my Tardive Dyskinesia/RLS was crazy bad. I may need another year of a calm CNS to recover some more.. as much as I'd like to start my passion again, it's a fact that's really depressing me. Either way i'm told i'm making overall improvement but I'm having to take peoples word for it, I haven't noticed a great difference but I guess that's because recovery is so slow and gradual. I guess things arent as bleak as often nowadays and I'm gaining some form of independence again. That's not to say things don't still get really difficult. Anyway I have a question and i'm interested in peoples opinions on the matter, is it possible to erase all the progress iv'e made? It's something that has been on my mind and knowing that I wont ever have to start all over again (if i mess up by eating bad food or stressing out) helps. I still think of encouraging things that iv'e been told on this forum and they keep me around to witness my full recovery. (Sorry for rambling) 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SquirrellyGirl Posted September 3, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 3, 2016 Hi Prohealer, Wow, amazing a year has passed, right? I know it is hard to see the good for focusing on the bad, but if others are noticing it, give yourself some credit! I have seen people on here who have been off for 2 years go into a really bad wave due to the stress of a new job or such, and they are right back to the panic that makes them feel like they need to DO something about it, feeling discouraged, etc. It is a disappointment to have withdrawal slap you in the face again when things had been going better. But you know, you can't look at it as going all the way back to zero. The nervous system is constantly healing, so no, you aren't going back to zero - stress can cause a wave to crop up because you are still on the mend and WD is just under the surface. You aren't done, yet. What is sad to me is to see people freak out and react by increasing their dosage (if they are tapering) or go back on the med. If they had hung on and practiced self care and love, they'd come out the other side of that wave and be back on track. Yes, these horrid waves can still happen, but they are NEVER a permanent state and WILL pass. Engaging in panic and negativity will keep you in that wave longer, though. So, it is crucial to continue with the self care that supports your nervous system: mindfulness, Acceptance, epsom salt baths, CBT, etc. A friend of mine had been having depression because she was disappointed by her husband, her friends, her family. Let's just call it judgmental. Recently I noted that she seemed really solid. I knew that she'd been in therapy and asked her what the difference was, was her therapist having her do CBT exercises that helped? Her response was that it was Acceptance of what is, that everything is fine the way it is. Everyone is fine the way they are. She had a friend come up with stage 4 colon cancer, bopping along one day and at death's door the next, and she passed away last week. My friend said you just never know; you could struggle to have things all perfect and still die tomorrow. Gives you some real perspective! We could all use some perspective! SG Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac. Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002 Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history. Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots! Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off. Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep. June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened! Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015. Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month. 12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18: 2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Prohealer Posted September 4, 2016 Author Share Posted September 4, 2016 Thanks so much for responding SquirrellyGirl, It is amazing and I'm proud iv'e made it this far tbh. It's so encouraging to hear that I am indeed constantly healing, it was a thought that was bothering me so thank you for that, I just didn't like the idea of having to start all over again, sometimes I take advice on this site as strict rules as opposed to advice and I end up catastrophising. That last part about your friend and her friend was really powerful and has definitely made me think. Iv'e been planning on trying meditation soon and learn how to accept "what is" now I feel slightly more ready for that, I still have to decide though. 2009: Put on Fluoxetine (20mg) and Risperdal (0.5mg) for OCD. Dose was increased a few weeks later to 40mg Fluoxetine and 1mg Risperdal. 2011: Began experiencing Depersonalisation and Visual Snow, general loss of energy and breast growth. Was kept on 40mg Fluoxetine until Late Dec 2015. Risperdal dosage varied and was kept on 0.5mg for a long while before Nov 2015. Early Sep 2015: Began having symptoms of extreme anxiety, psychosis and hot flushes due to mixing illegal drugs. Late Nov 2015: Psych doc raised Risperdal to 8mg. Began having severe and hellish Akathisia. Was kept being given Diazepam to cope. Early Dec 2015: Began seeing a new psych doc who tapered me off Risperdal over a period of a few weeks and put me onto Quetiapine. Late Dec 2015: Quick tapered off of everything due to little guidance. Mid March 2016: Reinstated Fluoxetine (5mg), dose was increased to 10mg a couple of weeks later. Gave me restless legs and stopped taking immediately (RLS was unbearable). 10 May 2016: Unsuccessful Fluoxetine reinstatement at 1mg. Drug free since May 2016. Diet (When Able): Low carb and sugar, high fat & dark greens. medium protein and fruit. Taking 100mg magnesium, 1000mg omega 3, 0.25mg Melatonin daily,. Drinking at least one mug of chamomile a day. Weekly Light exercise. Meditating daily and practising mindfulness. "Come back to square one, just the minimum bare bones. Relaxing with the present moment, relaxing with hopelessness, relaxing with death, not resisting the fact that things end, that things pass, that things have no lasting substance, that everything is changing all the time—that is the basic message." – Pema Chodron Link to comment
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