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leahbean: Drug mishaps, tapering, illness interference


leahbean

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We're always telling people to take their drugs on a consistent schedule for that reason. You'll have to hang in until your nervous system settles down.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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I ended up updosing to 2.5 on my Lexapro.  It seems to have taken on a paradoxical effect, increasing suicidal thoughts, agitation , etc.  Just non functional.  Insomnia is really bad; with .5 mg xanax, I’m still only getting about 4 hours of sleep.  Melatonin has not helped.  I follow good sleep hygiene.  
 

My family has been pressing me to keep going up on lexapro or to try something different drug wise.  I understand their frustration and pain, as they are fearful of me taking my life and could be considering taking me to the hospital. 
 

just unsure what to do at this point.  
 


 

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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On 1/14/2023 at 6:52 PM, Altostrata said:

Up to you if you want to go back to 2mg. 

 

On 1/21/2023 at 7:54 AM, leahbean said:

I ended up updosing to 2.5 on my Lexapro.  It seems to have taken on a paradoxical effect, increasing suicidal thoughts, agitation , etc.  Just non functional.  Insomnia is really bad; with .5 mg xanax, I’m still only getting about 4 hours of sleep.  Melatonin has not helped.  I follow good sleep hygiene.  

 

We suggest people err on the low side of updosing to avoid the kind of adverse reaction that you're experiencing, which indicates the dosage is too high. Suggest you reduce it to 2.25mg or 2mg.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata@getofflex

@Frogie

@manymoretodays

I thought I would tag a few people to try and get my introduction thread title changed, as I am no longer postpartum and also to get some more advice….

 

Last week I enrolled in an intensive OP program that included medication management.  I didn’t even meet with the doctor , he spoke with my husband by phone and he wrote me a script for remeron.  Disturbing what you can get just by asking…..anyway, I guess I can understand why he recommended the drug as it’s supposed to be sedative.  
 

I have been trying 7.5 mg for about 5 days.  Somehow it makes me sedated without putting me to sleep, and lack of sleep is why I decided to try it.  I did drop back down to 2 mg of Lexapro and have been holding steady there for a week.  
 

I know that this is a site for tapering, not getting drug switching advice.  
 

I am feeling regretful about tapering past 10 mg of Lexapro, because I am now really struggling hard.  Because of my insomnia and moods I am not able to even leave the house.

 

 I don’t see a way to try and stabilize at 2 mg of Lexapro without getting any sleep which would be restorative. As mentioned a few posts above, increasing the lexapro gave me severe suicidal thoughts that make absolutely no sense.  I want to live.  I just can’t handle the mental torture that combined with insomnia has become unbearable.  Not sure if switching to a different Ssri would help or be a disaster.

 

 I’m absolutely paralyzed in trying to figure out this mess I’ve made for myself.  
 

any advice would be appreciated.  My family needs me back .  
 

 

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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Hi leahbean,

I will get your title changed to something, maybe just Tapering with difficulties?  As you had been just on Buspar and Lexapro, tapering Lexapro until the Covid, from what I can see.

I do see a lot of drugs tried and then discontinued quickly since early December.  This could be keeping you unstable as well.

The rule of 3KI's: Keep it simple, stable, and slow

And now the most recent mirtazapine.

 

Keep your signature updated, and I see you have been up until..... the last drug changes.  The addtional mirtazapine added, and the most recent Lexapro change.

 

I don't get how you are in an Intensive Outpatient program but also are reporting unable to leave the house.  Can you clarify on that?  Zoom??

 

And you know we can't counsel on drug switches, that's your doctors domain.

 

I'll get your title changed, and get you in for conference.  Meantime.......give us a day please, and then a couple of days, of Notes-daily drug and symptom logs.  Try try to stay with your drug(s) at the same time, same dose, each day now.  And maybe something will stand out that might help now:

Notes/daily drug and symptom logs

When you have a day to post, post them just like in the sample note ^

 

Do you have any non-drug coping go tos at this point in time?  Relaxation practices or just breathing sometimes?  Support who could help you with the kids and all now? 

 

And I am so sorry that you are being pressured by family right now to suddenly up and get back to normal......and who would rather just see you re-medicated than going the distance now.

You might find something to help you here:

Helping family understand

 

How long has your functioning been affected now?

 

Oh leahbean.  Sending comfort, healing, and some much needed time for you now....

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays
fixed link

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • manymoretodays changed the title to leahbean: Drug mishaps, tapering, illness interference

Thanks for responding, MMT, and for updating my thread title.  Apologies for tagging anyone who didn't want to be tagged.

 

 

I couldn't figure out how to keep my signature to 12 lines or less, I had tried to update it yesterday.  I think I figured it out.  To clarify the OP intensive program, I was driven there by my husband.  With the insomnia, I don't feel comfortable driving myself anywhere.  I have taken a few walks but it's very cold where I live.

 

I will work on notes today.  For non drug coping, I have a gratitude journal that I try my best to write a few things in.  Deep breathing, but it doesn't slow down my ruminating thoughts.  

 

My husband is actually very supportive.  He has been doing everything for me basically.  Cooking, taking care of the kids, etc.  To his credit, he has not been threatening to put me in the hospital, that's more my mom.   Right now he is on leave but will need to start working again in about 3 weeks.  

 

Our families don't live nearby and we don't have a lot of people we feel comfortable sharing our troubles with.  

 

What I struggle most with is fear of the future.  My husband just retired from the military and this is supposed to be a very happy, exciting time, and I feel guilty for having placed this heaviness on my family.  It's hard to look at my children, feeling like a failure.  I'm trying to have faith that this will resolve in some way.  I have been this way for about 6 weeks now.  

 

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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  • Administrator

Hello, @leahbean Many of your problems since 2012 may have been due to adverse reactions to your psychiatric drugs, taking your psychiatric drugs inconsistently, and withdrawal syndromes. 

 

On 1/11/2023 at 5:44 PM, leahbean said:

I started having some cognitive problems, tingling in my extremities and face, and some eye focusing problems after having some kind of virus in late November.

 

As we have discussed, this symptom pattern may not be directly related to tapering Lexapro, but due to covid-19 and compounded by your health anxiety and guilt about your family.

 

You are free to try additional psychiatric drugs for your symptoms.  But we offer peer support for tapering and withdrawal here, not ongoing medication management for other psychiatric drug treatment. Please take questions about adverse reactions related to your new drugs to your prescriber.

 

I will offer that you still need to take your psychiatric drugs on a consistent schedule if you want to avoid strange, intermittent symptoms that might be due to inconsistent dosing. I also suggest you look at your drug history and consider whether finding non-drug ways to manage your symptoms might be better for you.

 

Please let us know when you have questions about tapering a psychiatric drug.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Understood.  Thank you, @Altostrata.

 

I will be looking into ways to better cope with stress.  Looking back, I actually don't think this current wave was triggered by getting sick.  There were soft signs for at least a few months that a breakdown was coming...being more irritable, crying a little more easily, etc.  I remember telling my husband a few times that I was not handling stress as well as I used to.  Because I had been stable for so long I didn't connect this to being in withdrawal from Lexapro.  Not sure if updosing months back would have staved off my current situation though.  

 

It's a frustrating thing, not feeling stable enough to drop any lower, but not being able to updose past 2 mg for fear of the graphic SI returning.  Still ravenously hungry, which I find odd, since I have greatly reduced Remeron over the last week....people complain about increased hunger while on higher doses of mirtazapine.  Lots of pins and needles all over, some muscle twitching still and having eye problems still.  Free floating anxiety especially in the morning.  

 

These are symptoms that I've seen people mention once completely off the meds...is it possible to feel like you're not on meds at all while holding on a small dose?  Sorry if that's a stupid question.  Of course my pdoc doesn't think that a "measly" 2 mg of Lexapro is doing anything for me, so of course her suggestion was to switch me over to Prozac (which I haven't done). 

 

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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  • Administrator

You started 7.5mg mirtazapine on January 25?

 

Is your question now about tapering it?

 

How do you feel since you've been taking 2mg escitalopram since January 22? Are you still taking Xanax? Over the last month, how often have you taken Xanax?

 

Very few psychiatrists know anything about withdrawal symptoms or tapering.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi @Altostrata.  
 

I am down to about 1.875 mg of mirtazapine for the last 3 evenings.  I reduced quickly as it was making me feel stoned during the day.  It has helped me get to sleep at night though, and I wonder if the SI that I was having was squashed by it.  My pdoc suggested Rozerem instead for sleeping.  I haven’t tried that yet.

 

No Xanax since I started mirtazapine.  Symptoms in the last few weeks as I’ve tapered mirt :

 

  • pins and needles ( all over, happens a few seconds at a time)
  • muscle and eyelid twitching
  •  free floating anxiety
  • extreme hunger
  • waking up a few times with one side of my face in a grimace?
  • brain fog
  • memory problems 


I take all my meds around 9 pm.  All in all I would say I’m slightly more stable, but still not really living.  Could the small amount of mirt be acting as a brake to Lexapro?  I feel like Lexapro is going south on me.....

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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  • Administrator

If 1.875mg Remeron helps for sleep, why change that?

 

On 2/16/2023 at 7:17 PM, leahbean said:

All in all I would say I’m slightly more stable, but still not really living.

 

Please explain. What symptoms have improved? What is your current symptom pattern?

 

Exactly what drugs, with their dosages, do you take at 9 p.m?

 

You can follow your psychiatrist's instructions if you wish. We do not assist in reformulating drug cocktails. Please note that no amount of drugs will resolve conflict at home.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 2/16/2023 at 4:39 PM, leahbean said:

 

 

I will be looking into ways to better cope with stress.  Looking back, I actually don't think this current wave was triggered by getting sick.  There were soft signs for at least a few months that a breakdown was coming...being more irritable, crying a little more easily, etc.  I remember telling my husband a few times that I was not handling stress as well as I used to.  Because I had been stable for so long I didn't connect this to being in withdrawal from Lexapro.  Not sure if updosing months back would have staved off my current situation though.  

 

It's a frustrating thing, not feeling stable enough to drop any lower, but not being able to updose past 2 mg for fear of the graphic SI returning.  Still ravenously hungry, which I find odd, since I have greatly reduced Remeron over the last week....people complain about increased hunger while on higher doses of mirtazapine.  Lots of pins and needles all over, some muscle twitching still and having eye problems still.  Free floating anxiety especially in the morning.  

 

These are symptoms that I've seen people mention once completely off the meds...is it possible to feel like you're not on meds at all while holding on a small dose?  Sorry if that's a stupid question.  Of course my pdoc doesn't think that a "measly" 2 mg of Lexapro is doing anything for me, so of course her suggestion was to switch me over to Prozac (which I haven't done). 

 

 

@Frogie @Gridley @brassmonkey

@mdwstrx @itsalyssadood @antoinette

I really need some advice.    I tapered quickly off the Remeron after about 3.5 weeks of being on it.  Hated the way it made me feel cognitively.  Blessedly, it seems to have reset my sleep and I am able to get sleep with only magnesium at night.  Current drugs are Lexapro 2 mg and Buspar 3.75 at about 9 at night.   I have noticed that the days/week before my period starts, depressive symptoms really worsen.  The SI worsens around then too.  I don't know if, aside from a hormone shift, the depression has worsened because I quit the Remeron, or because I updosed 0.1 mg to 2 mg of Lexapro, after having been at 1.9 for several months.  This depression feels worse than anything I've encountered during the earlier parts of my taper.   

 

This last point (holding for months) makes me wonder if I am having a relapse, or if pent-up stress triggered withdrawal, after what seemed like a fairly uneventful taper.  I'm just stunned that I crashed again, after what happened to me postpartum 7 years ago, and the fact that it did has brought incalculable anxiety for the future.  I thought, once it was over, Phew!  Glad that's behind me!  Now let's get off this drug crap!  Reading back over that part of my story, I see that reinstating Lexapro made me feel suicidal then too and it was only after adding Lamictal that my nervous system calmed down enough to get used to a high dose of Lexapro again.  Those SI thoughts absolutely terrify me, because they are so out of character.  Never had those before starting psych drugs, but it's so hard to fight against thoughts that come from my own brain.  

 

I would say I'm about 50% functional right now.  Still feel anxious around my own kids, still feel nervous driving and being around big groups of people.  Still not cooking meals for my family.   I'm so consumed with my anxiety over this situation that it's hard to concentrate on anything else.  I know I shouldn't spend hours on SA reading forums for shreds of hope, because my story is my own.  I just want my life back, like everyone on here does.  I know I need to focus more on living my life.  Hard to do that when I feel nuts.  

 

I get nervous when I see things about tardive dysphoria, and depressive outcomes being worse for people who were treated with ADs than those that weren't (or is G. Fava referring to PAWS?)  I've been on Lexapro now for over 10 years.  Dr. Shipko says that people who've been on drugs for that long take a long time to recover, if they do at all.  I don't know that my husband wants me to be more disabled than I am already, or if he would be willing to be my fulltime caregiver.  He has been so tender with me, holding me through crying spells and listening.  Hasn't threatened to take me to the hospital for which I am so grateful.  He is supportive of the concept of an eventual taper.

 

In short, I feel like I have tapered myself into a corner.  1.9 mg of Lexapro wasn't enough to keep me from crashing.  Reinstating up to 2.5 mg two months ago brought really graphic SI thoughts/images, and I think my brain has healed so much from those higher doses over the last 6 years of tapering.  I'm not stable enough to consider tapering any further right now, and I am wary of changing drugs at this point because who knows what that might do?  Would my brain react to other SSRIs in the same way?  I hate to consider getting back on the drug merry go round at this point.  But I am 42 and I still need to get through menopause in the next 10-15 years, and I have a family to care for that I greatly miss interacting freely with.  Feels like forever since I've smiled or laughed.

 

I am just desperate to feel like myself again, and am unsure what to do next. Hold the line being only a little functional and try to taper or try a different drug and wave the white flag?

 

I'm starting to wonder if being drug-free is going to be a possibility for me.  Is it too late?  

 

 

 

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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  • Administrator

It's pretty common that persons with female organs who have a history of psychiatric drug mishaps will experience worse symptoms around their menstrual period. This is not relapse, but probably related to the neurobiological sensitization caused by psychiatric drug mishaps.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I also struggle really bad around my period. I was never like this until I started AD’s. I resonate with a lot of your symptoms like not being able to cook for my family, being anxious to drive and be around my kids. It’s good to give yourself more grace during those times. It’s hard, because your brain does the complete opposite. I found that getting up and putting my body into movement helps a bit. Also takes away the guilt of wanting to be in bed all day and not feeling like I’ve accomplished anything. Journaling, a hot bath, lots of water.. those all help too. Little things, start small. One thing I did as well was record a video/audio of myself (when it’s not that time of the month and I’m feeling okay), telling myself it’s temporary and I will get through. Trust your body and brain are doing exactly what it should be; healing. You’ve got this. Reach out if you ever need anyone to talk to ♥️

10mg of Lexapro since 4/2022.

* 6/22/22-5.0mg * 8/17/22-2.5mg * 8/22/22-5.0mg * 9/18/22-4.5mg * 10/1/22-4.2mg * 10/15/22-3.8mg * 11/5/22-3.5mg * 11/26/22-3.3 mg * 12/16/22-3.2mg * 1/1/23-3.1mg * 1/2/23-3.0mg * 1/24/23- 2.8mg * 2/4/23-2.6mg * 3/3/23-2.8mg * 4/10/23-2.6mg * 5/11/23-2.5mg * 7/3/23-2.4mg * 7/29/23-2.2mg * 9/18/23-2.1mg* 10/15/23-2.0mg* 11/11/23-1.9mg* 12/8/23-1.8mg* 2/3/24-1.76mg* 3/2/24-1.7mg*

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@AltostrataFeeling really anxious today.  I found out my MRI taken in December showed a mega cisterna magna.  Normally not something to be worried about, most people with it are born with it, although there are a few reports of this being found in people with bipolar or schizophrenia.  

 

The interesting thing is that the MRI I had in 2013, just after starting Lexapro, did not show this, so I wasn't born with it.  Could this be brain damage from Lex or a sign of something worse going on?  I'm so paranoid right now, it's not funny.  I just want to be normal!

 

Thank you @itsalyssadood for the support; sending you healing thoughts as well.

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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@leahbean if I were you, I'd pursue medical treatment, if any, for this condition. I would not assume it is from withdrawal or Lexapro.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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@Altostrata It’s typically benign, so no treatment is needed. I was offered a consult with a neurologist but I have a feeling they would say there’s nothing to worry about.  
 

I’m nervous about the association with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It’s located next to the cerebellum. 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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We cannot answer questions about brain tumors.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 5/16/2016 at 12:15 PM, leahbean said:


 
Since reinstating lexapro, I've had racing thoughts (sometimes I can't even figure out what I'm thinking about), headaches, vision problems, increased anxiety, difficulty with word finding, lack of concentration (can't even read an easy chapter book with my 9 year old daughter), difficulty focusing on conversations, weight gain, obsessive thinking, songs looping in my head, random movie scenes popping into my head, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts, brain fog, easily triggered by frightening things, etc.  
 
I feel like now, somehow, lexapro is too activating for me.  I've wondered if I've slipped into hypomania or something. Women can sometimes be misdiagnosed with postpartum depression, when they've really converted to bipolar disorder. 

 

In reading back over my thread, I am struck by how similar my current symptoms are to seven years ago.  Except this time, I'm down to 2 mg of lexapro after updosing from 1.9 mg.  Is that enough of a change to cause such absolute havoc?  

My period seems to have disappeared this month, probably due to stress, but that means my hormones are contributing to the increasing feelings of SI in an unpredictable pattern.  So instead of two-three days, that's coming in a bigger block of around a week-10 days.  Crying spells, feeling insane (disordered, racing thoughts), feeling like the walking dead.  No peace in my mind. Feeling like this makes me think that I'm going to have to throw my drug free dream in the trash.

Is it possible that my breakdown in December triggered bipolar disorder?   Neither of the psychiatrists that I've spoken with about my situation have mentioned it and I don't want the label, but I don't know that they understand how bad the SI is in my mind.

 

I need help.  I can't thresh out what is me, what could be my CNS still settling from yo-yoing lexapro and removing Remeron, trazodone and Xanax, what is messed up hormones, etc.  I can't keep going like this much longer.  It's not living.

 

Oct. 2012: Started Lexapro 10 mg for situational depression/anxiety   April 2014: Started tapering, to 7.5 mg.   Sept (?) 2014: Tapered to 5 mg.  

June 2015: Dropped to 2.5 mg.   2015: Dropped to 1.25 mg with liquid.  2016: Discontinued Lexapro Cold Turkey after delivery of baby .  Tried Zoloft 50 mg x 2 days.  Became inpatient and was placed on Lexapro 20 mg over course of two weeks.  

March 10: Discharged from hospital on Lexapro 20 mg, Klonopin 0.5 to 1.0 mg as needed for sleep (rarely used).  March 2016: 15 mg Lexapro.  Pdoc tried adding Wellbutrin, felt slightly manic and quit after 3 days.

May 2016; Lexapro 15 mg, Buspar 10 mg, Vistaril for sleep, and Lamictal 25 mg.   June 4 '16: 13.75 mg Lexapro, 7.5 mg Buspar, Lamictal 25 mg.  July '16: No more Vistaril!  

October 16:  Buspar, 3.75 mg.  Lexapro 11.7 mg.  Lamictal 25.  10/23: 11.1 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar, 25 Lamictal  01/17: 10 mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Buspar, CT Lamictal due to rash 

 

6/2022?: 1.9 mg Lexapro, 3.75 Buspar   12/2022: health anxiety/virus, not sleeping well.  Tried melatonin, trazodone, Benadryl 0.25 mg Xanax prn for sleep    1/10: 2mg lex   1/13: 2.2 mg lex   1/22: back to 2 mg Lex   1/25:  7.5 mg Remeron for sleep    2/16: 1.875 Remeron for sleep

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  • Administrator

Since 2012 -- 11 years -- you have made frequent changes in your drugs. Plus, you have a brain tumor. A brain tumor! It may be benign, meaning it's not cancerous, but it may be interfering with other functioning, causing odd symptoms that are NOT drug-related.

 

It may be that much of the psychiatric treatment you've received was for symptoms arising from the tumor expanding, and this was, typically, misdiagnosed as psychiatric disorder. I would stop speaking to psychiatrists about your symptoms.

 

Updosing 0.1mg escitalpram is probably not responsible for your current symptom pattern. Not everything is withdrawal. Might you also be menopausal?

 

On 4/19/2023 at 3:33 PM, leahbean said:

Is it possible that my breakdown in December triggered bipolar disorder?

 

No. More likely it was a reaction to the many drug changes you made after getting "some kind of virus in late November" or the virus itself.

 

On 1/12/2023 at 1:44 AM, leahbean said:

....

I started having some cognitive problems, tingling in my extremities and face, and some eye focusing problems after having some kind of virus in late November.  I became obsessed with the idea that I had MS and couldn’t think about anything else.  My sleep started suffering, so I started taking melatonin (didn’t work), Benadryl (sometimes worked for a few hours), tried trazodone a handful of times (quit it after it made me feel like a zombie).  Panic attacks and day-long anxiety the likes of which I hadn’t experienced since being postpartum started in.  MRI thankfully came back negative except for chronic sinus issues.

....

 

Perhaps you had covid and then long covid.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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