BAT: Is it anxiety or withdrawal?

[BAT]

What do you do with your day?

[Dwell]

I feel like I get mini windows in the evening whether it be an hour or 20 minutes I feel minor release from some symptoms. I thrive on those moments. As for my family, my mom thinks I should stay on an antidepressant forever like she is. That's just not me I don't want a medication that can poop out or change who I am. As for my husband he is very supportive. He has no clue the extent of how bad I feel he just thinks my anxiety is terrible but I don't think anyone understands this unless you go through it yourself! Try not to let what other people think get you down. It's not their fault, this is a very peculiar thing to go through!

 

As for my day I do anything to keep my mind busy, watch tv ( which usually doesn't help), hang out talking to people, go fishing, go for a hike, go out in the sun, my husband is starting a business and I've helped him a little. You have to keep doing, something, anything!

[Dwell]

I also have a 6 year old who has ADHD so that helps with the anxiety lol

[BAT]

Dwell - why were you on Paxil and buspar?

[Dwell]

I started getting panic attacks every time I drove and I was driving about an hour each way to work so it was terrible.

[BAT]

One didn't work?

 

Why did you stop Paxil? Was it helping? Did you have side effects when you started these medicines?

[Alice1]

Hey hey. All my fast turkeys talking on the same thread .. You're not alone. I'm at 8.5 months off. New symptoms have come and I'm at my worst. No windows for 3.5 weeks either. Anxiety has gone through the roof and is on it's way to the moon. I'm working part time and exercising everyday. Trying to avoid stress but sometimes stress finds me no matter how hard I hide from it.

[Dwell]

I was very naive about these meds when I started them. I went to my local VA hospital and this is just the combo they prescribed me. I trusted the doctors at the time. I had no clue why they gave me 2 meds but figured I needed them both since I was having panic attacks daily. I really didn't have any side effects besides flat minor flat emotions and loss of libido. I stopped the paxil because I got pregnant but ended up having a miscarriage and decided I didn't want any part of reinstating. We want more kids so I didn't want to go through the process again.

[Dwell]

And yes the meds did help for their intended purpose while I was taking them. I was able to drive. Lol Alice

[Dwell]

And yes the meds did help for their intended purpose while I was taking them. I was able to drive. Lol Alice

[BAT]

Can anybody tell me what they experience when they have morning anxiety? Is anyone's symptoms worse in the morning when they wake up?

[Gridley]

My morning anxiety is generally the worst of the day. I think this is very common for WD.   The anxiety starts in around 4:30, which is around when cortisol starts to spike.  The cortisol anxiety invites ruminative negative thoughts and feelings, which further feeds the anxiety.  Lying there in bed is not productive, as one is easy prey just lying there with no distractions.  Meditation and accepting the anxiety works for me when I'm up and about but not if I stay in bed..  So finally I get up.  The anxiety generally fades once I get up and move around a bit.

 

There are a number of posts on the forum about cortisol and anxiety.

[BAT]

I had to take another half xanax today. Panic is so bad and symptoms. I don't understand why after 8.5 months off antidepressants and xanax but have taken xanax 8 times in the last 8.5 months. I have so many symptoms and there intense. Thinking of going back on something. Here are my symptoms..

 

Panic/anxiety

Tight/pressure head

Pressure/clogged ears and pooping, crackling

Increased heart rate

Depressed

Crying a lot

In the house/bedroom

Eat and stomach growls after like I didn't eat - can't gain weight.

Lost weight and muscle

Tight throat

Inner vibration

Fear of dying

Fear of going insane

Clenching/teeth hurt

Tight jaw

Chest tightness

Tight/bloated stomach

Hard to breathe

Don't feel right in the head

Bad thoughts

That's what I can think of now.

 

How can this be this bad and so many symptoms this far off. I don't want to take the xanax but it gets so bad.. What do I do??

[Alice1]

Hi Bat.

You're not alone. I have the same symptoms you do and I've been off lexapro 9 months. It's incredibly scary I know but unfortunately nobody here will be able to make it stop. The mods will only reassure you once then you're on your own. But the people like Dwell and Myself can talk on here to support each other. Which we must do in order to cope.

 

Again , I have every symptom you have listed and more. I'm surprised you don't have depersonalization and derealization.

 

From what I read and talked about to others , this IS the worst time. Not only the first year but the later part of the first year ( 8-12 months out ) . And it will probably continue into the second year as well.

 

About 90% of the success stories I have read say that the first 1-2 years were the worst hell you could possibly imagine ,but then things change.

 

I'm scared too. I so wish I didn't fast turkey , but I did . So now I get to endure this for an unknown amour of time. But from reading and talking to those who have recovered I am confident that someday I will too.

 

I can only encourage you to do the small things to help your recovery such as nutrition , exercise, reducing stress , and patience.

 

People recover from this. If they didn't there would be no surviving antidepressants website helping people.

 

Keep strong BAT. One day at a time.

[mammaP]

Hi Bat, your nervous system is struggling to regain homaostasis after all the drug changes over the last few years. It will take time to heal but you will get better. Trying another drug could make things worse, you have had so many and stopped them because they either were not helping or making you worse. You have become very sensitive to them, like most of us here. 

 

Are you taking any supplements, many people here take fish oil and magnesium, they are very good for withdrawal. 

 

Epsom salts baths are amazing and I would recommend them if you have a bath tub. If not then a foot soak os the next best thing.

 

Things will get better, and I hope you get a window very soon.

[BAT]

Thank you for your replies.

 

What if I need to be on medicine? I did have side effects with all of them but a couple times I felt OK while on them. So I don't know. It's so hard. I know they caused issues but then I think about those couple times I did feel ok on them. Then I wonder why did I get worse after stopping.. Also, can I be making myself worse? I was doing more Oct-Mid Feb now not really doing anything because of the way I feel with the symptoms. I'm so confused. I literally just stay in my bedroom all day..

[BAT]

Can anyone answer why someone would get worse 8.5 months off antidepressants? What is the cause and is this common?

[Alice1]

I don't think anyone knows exactly why this happens BAT. But it's very normal. I do know that worrying about it non stop only fuels it so of course it will get worse. After all , anxiety will grow if you feed it anxiety. Just try to calm your emotions (easier said than done) and keep your mind busy everyday. When I say everyday I mean everyday . Even if it takes a couple years. You really have to change the channel in your mind every single time. It's a struggle but like anything else you'll get good at it with practice.

 

Use the non drug techniques post here on SA. Study dr Claire weekes method. Learn a language , or a new hobby .. Do some volunteer work at the local animal shelter.

 

Practice getting out of the house everyday. Even if it's only for 30 minutes a day. Start small and build.

 

You'll get better but you can get better easier with these things mentioned above.

 

After reading the success stories I've learned that the people who force themselves to live life as normal as possible , including working , recover the best. It doesn't mean you won't recover if don't do these things , but it will make the journey harder for you if you don't do these things. because you will just ruminate on your suffering.

 

START SMALL . DO NOT OVER DO THINGS EARLY ON. IF YOU OVER DO THINGS YOUR SYMPTOMS MAY INCREASE A LITTLE.

[BAT]

That's what I don't understand though I was doing more back from Oct - Mid Feb. I was cleaning, helping with cooking, walking, doing light cardio, trying to drive, trying to go to stores, not spending the time I do now in my room. Then comes mid Feb and I felt worse and now this past month the worst.

[Alice1]

You're not alone in that department either. 6 months ago I was lead contractor in a housing development. Now I'm selling jewelry and coins at my best friends jewelry shop. I've lost 70 lbs. That's right 70 lbs. I look like I'm on chemotherapy and radiation.

 

This is the worst time for many of us. Remember , we didn't taper like we should've and this is what happens. But we will get better. In fact 75% of the recovery stories I have read are either cold or fast turkeys. People who tapered correctly don't need to right stories because they automatically shift back into life with ease. Not all but most.

 

Control your emotions. Do the work , you will get better.

[TryingToHoldOn]

BAT - can you make it once a week to see a therapist?

I'm working with a therapist who 100% believes I'm going through withdrawal. She is teaching me mindfulness and CBT techniques. Our goal is to give me the tools to get me through each minute, hour & day. If you're unable to leave the house, please checkout calm.com

 

I understand your fears. Friday I was having such a terrible day that I almost called in for a prescription of whatever the Dr. would give me to just make all the madness go away. Hang in there. You WILL make it through.

[BAT]

Tryingtoholdon

Thank you for your reply. I will check out the link you sent me.

 

Sorry you had a bad day Friday. What were/are you experiencing?

Hope it will get better soon for you and all of us.

[powerback]

BAT - can you make it once a week to see a therapist?

I'm working with a therapist who 100% believes I'm going through withdrawal. She is teaching me mindfulness and CBT techniques. Our goal is to give me the tools to get me through each minute, hour & day. If you're unable to leave the house, please checkout calm.com

 

I understand your fears. Friday I was having such a terrible day that I almost called in for a prescription of whatever the Dr. would give me to just make all the madness go away. Hang in there. You WILL make it through.

 

I did the anxiety test on this site ,I'm off the scale  

[miT]

My morning anxiety is generally the worst of the day. I think this is very common for WD.   The anxiety starts in around 4:30, which is around when cortisol starts to spike.  The cortisol anxiety invites ruminative negative thoughts and feelings, which further feeds the anxiety.  Lying there in bed is not productive, as one is easy prey just lying there with no distractions.  Meditation and accepting the anxiety works for me when I'm up and about but not if I stay in bed..  So finally I get up.  The anxiety generally fades once I get up and move around a bit.

 

There are a number of posts on the forum about cortisol and anxiety.

I have the exact same experience. I wake up anxious and it fades when I get up.

 

Obviously during the day it comes back in flashes, but that’s probably my thing. Also I don’t feed it anymore like I used to.

[BAT]

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

 

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

[miT]

I did feel more anxious the day after the cold turkey. But then again anxiety has been part of my day for years, so nothing earth shattering. The months after that even were the best I have experienced in years. In that light the withdrawal symptoms in december came unexpected to me. But they hit hard. I think I had one emotionally bad week which ended with me trembling all over my body. I informed myself, took like 5mg of paroxetine and immediately felt the difference. And I mean within seconds. So yes it helped me. I did have to up the dose the following days to 7.5mg.

 

Anxiety still lurks around the corner, also at work, which is tough. I had waves of self-destructive thoughts and pain. The sheer hopelessness of the situation put me on the path of self-healing and awareness of my own destructive thought patterns. The alternative was to build up to 30mg of paroxetine, but I was too disgusted with what I had read about it on the internet. And I do believe that eventually I’d have to tackle my destructive thoughts that brought me on the meds anyway.

[powerback]

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

 

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

 

HI bat ,the worst of my story started 2 years ago when my GP said going from 75mg to 37.5 wouldn't be a problem ,I now look back and believe these drugs have made me braindead/cognitive decline ,the last few months is the worst .

I seem to be extremely sensitive to dose change ,lately I'm in an extremely distressed state at times .

Trying to work last year with the symptoms was very hard, and then December I basically had a breakdown on a job ,I couldn't bare the noise of anything ,a fuse went in me,

from reading posts here ,I stared to freak out lately ,I cant believe what I was putting up with and this was wrong ,I'm suffering now because of it .

I'm so unstable I will have to put tapering on hold and a respected physiatrist has told me he is aware how hard venlafaxine is to taper ,he has suggested going to Prozac and going from there, such horrible decisions to make.

hope u doing well .

respect

PB  

[miT]

 

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

 

HI bat ,the worst of my story started 2 years ago when my GP said going from 75mg to 37.5 wouldn't be a problem ,I now look back and believe these drugs have made me braindead/cognitive decline ,the last few months is the worst .

I seem to be extremely sensitive to dose change ,lately I'm in an extremely distressed state at times .

Trying to work last year with the symptoms was very hard, and then December I basically had a breakdown on a job ,I couldn't bare the noise of anything ,a fuse went in me,

from reading posts here ,I stared to freak out lately ,I cant believe what I was putting up with and this was wrong ,I'm suffering now because of it .

I'm so unstable I will have to put tapering on hold and a respected physiatrist has told me he is aware how hard venlafaxine is to taper ,he has suggested going to Prozac and going from there, such horrible decisions to make.

hope u doing well .

respect

PB

You have to look ahead now. For me personally the realization of the poison I used to take strengthened my will to get rid of it whatever it takes. I don’t put a time frame on it however. I’m just not going back to the high doses I used to take. How easy it used to be to up your dose when going through a bad spell. No more of that. No more running away.

 

Obviously everybody here has different problems, but I do believe that there is a common issue we share: pushing away negative states & spiraling into negative thinking patterns.

 

Your realization about the drug could be your window to tackle that problem. It was for me. After all, if the drug’s not going to help you anymore, then it’s up to you to help yourself.

 

I’m not the med expert here, but I believe every drug is hard to taper. So I wouldn’t switch to prozac, but others here have more experience.

 

Good luck!

[powerback]

 

 

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

HI bat ,the worst of my story started 2 years ago when my GP said going from 75mg to 37.5 wouldn't be a problem ,I now look back and believe these drugs have made me braindead/cognitive decline ,the last few months is the worst .

I seem to be extremely sensitive to dose change ,lately I'm in an extremely distressed state at times .

Trying to work last year with the symptoms was very hard, and then December I basically had a breakdown on a job ,I couldn't bare the noise of anything ,a fuse went in me,

from reading posts here ,I stared to freak out lately ,I cant believe what I was putting up with and this was wrong ,I'm suffering now because of it .

I'm so unstable I will have to put tapering on hold and a respected physiatrist has told me he is aware how hard venlafaxine is to taper ,he has suggested going to Prozac and going from there, such horrible decisions to make.

hope u doing well .

respect

PB

You have to look ahead now. For me personally the realization of the poison I used to take strengthened my will to get rid of it whatever it takes. I don’t put a time frame on it however. I’m just not going back to the high doses I used to take. How easy it used to be to up your dose when going through a bad spell. No more of that. No more running away.

 

Obviously everybody here has different problems, but I do believe that there is a common issue we share: pushing away negative states & spiraling into negative thinking patterns.

 

Your realization about the drug could be your window to tackle that problem. It was for me. After all, if the drug’s not going to help you anymore, then it’s up to you to help yourself.

 

I’m not the med expert here, but I believe every drug is hard to taper. So I wouldn’t switch to prozac, but others here have more experience.

 

Good luck!

 

 

thanks MiT, the  thing that gets to me is I'm so bad still taking the drug , I'm not tapering .so my dilemma is do I ride it out or get to a stable platform ,so that's why I'm thinking of the Prozac .I need to at least be stable to work properly . 

ye big time I agree with having to look ahead ,ruminating is such a problem.

take care

PB  

[BAT]

I think about going back on medicine a lot. Being 8.5 months off antidepressants and xanax (but have taken it 8 times since,) and feeling the worst I have been this past month. I know everyone is different but hearing people are on medicine feeling bad or reinstating and it doesn't help makes me nervous. I know though there are people that reinstatement helps. Can anyone relate to that? So I'm so confused on what to do.

I missed my kids graduations this week 8th grade and high school. I hated missing it so much, it was very hard!!

I want my life back so bad and just not sure what the right thing is to do to get it.

I felt ok a few times I was on medicine, I was living my life. I did have side effects when starting. When coming off I did experience am experiencing things I didn't prior to medicine. I question if I am making myself Worse through t this.

[powerback]

I think about going back on medicine a lot. Being 8.5 months off antidepressants and xanax (but have taken it 8 times since,) and feeling the worst I have been this past month. I know everyone is different but hearing people are on medicine feeling bad or reinstating and it doesn't help makes me nervous. I know though there are people that reinstatement helps. Can anyone relate to that? So I'm so confused on what to do.

I missed my kids graduations this week 8th grade and high school. I hated missing it so much, it was very hard!!

I want my life back so bad and just not sure what the right thing is to do to get it.

I felt ok a few times I was on medicine, I was living my life. I did have side effects when starting. When coming off I did experience am experiencing things I didn't prior to medicine. I question if I am making myself Worse through t this.

 

ye bat its such a tricky horrible dilemma ,sympathy's to you for missing your daughters graduation ,watch out  for that nasty  guilt creeping in .

your great to be living with this torture ,we all are ,after each wave we get stronger .find times your proud of yourself in withdrawal ,I did this recently ,I flew to visit my niece and I was wrecked ,up to 3 naps a day but I got through the travelling and enjoyed moments playing with her .but I am glad I wont be getting on a plane for a while though.

respect

PB   

[miT]

 

 

 

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

 

HI bat ,the worst of my story started 2 years ago when my GP said going from 75mg to 37.5 wouldn't be a problem ,I now look back and believe these drugs have made me braindead/cognitive decline ,the last few months is the worst .

I seem to be extremely sensitive to dose change ,lately I'm in an extremely distressed state at times .

Trying to work last year with the symptoms was very hard, and then December I basically had a breakdown on a job ,I couldn't bare the noise of anything ,a fuse went in me,

from reading posts here ,I stared to freak out lately ,I cant believe what I was putting up with and this was wrong ,I'm suffering now because of it .

I'm so unstable I will have to put tapering on hold and a respected physiatrist has told me he is aware how hard venlafaxine is to taper ,he has suggested going to Prozac and going from there, such horrible decisions to make.

hope u doing well .

respect

PB

You have to look ahead now. For me personally the realization of the poison I used to take strengthened my will to get rid of it whatever it takes. I don’t put a time frame on it however. I’m just not going back to the high doses I used to take. How easy it used to be to up your dose when going through a bad spell. No more of that. No more running away.

Obviously everybody here has different problems, but I do believe that there is a common issue we share: pushing away negative states & spiraling into negative thinking patterns.

Your realization about the drug could be your window to tackle that problem. It was for me. After all, if the drug’s not going to help you anymore, then it’s up to you to help yourself.

I’m not the med expert here, but I believe every drug is hard to taper. So I wouldn’t switch to prozac, but others here have more experience.

Good luck!

 

thanks MiT, the  thing that gets to me is I'm so bad still taking the drug , I'm not tapering .so my dilemma is do I ride it out or get to a stable platform ,so that's why I'm thinking of the Prozac .I need to at least be stable to work properly . 

ye big time I agree with having to look ahead ,ruminating is such a problem.

take care

PB

The work aspect is probably the hardest hurdle to take. If only we could align work with our windows..

 

It’s tough. Not looking forward to tomorrow, but still hanging in there.

[powerback]

 

 

 

 

Powerback - thank you for your reply. I see you tried to taper off venlaxafine a couple times. Was it because of the withdrawal symptoms you stopped? Are you going to try again?

MIT - thank you for your reply. When you stopped paroxetine in May, did you get withdrawal symptoms right away? If so, did they continue through Dec when you reinstated? Did reinstatement help? Did your morning anxiety get better when you reinstated?

HI bat ,the worst of my story started 2 years ago when my GP said going from 75mg to 37.5 wouldn't be a problem ,I now look back and believe these drugs have made me braindead/cognitive decline ,the last few months is the worst .

I seem to be extremely sensitive to dose change ,lately I'm in an extremely distressed state at times .

Trying to work last year with the symptoms was very hard, and then December I basically had a breakdown on a job ,I couldn't bare the noise of anything ,a fuse went in me,

from reading posts here ,I stared to freak out lately ,I cant believe what I was putting up with and this was wrong ,I'm suffering now because of it .

I'm so unstable I will have to put tapering on hold and a respected physiatrist has told me he is aware how hard venlafaxine is to taper ,he has suggested going to Prozac and going from there, such horrible decisions to make.

hope u doing well .

respect

PB

You have to look ahead now. For me personally the realization of the poison I used to take strengthened my will to get rid of it whatever it takes. I don’t put a time frame on it however. I’m just not going back to the high doses I used to take. How easy it used to be to up your dose when going through a bad spell. No more of that. No more running away.

Obviously everybody here has different problems, but I do believe that there is a common issue we share: pushing away negative states & spiraling into negative thinking patterns.

Your realization about the drug could be your window to tackle that problem. It was for me. After all, if the drug’s not going to help you anymore, then it’s up to you to help yourself.

I’m not the med expert here, but I believe every drug is hard to taper. So I wouldn’t switch to prozac, but others here have more experience.

Good luck!

 

thanks MiT, the  thing that gets to me is I'm so bad still taking the drug , I'm not tapering .so my dilemma is do I ride it out or get to a stable platform ,so that's why I'm thinking of the Prozac .I need to at least be stable to work properly . 

ye big time I agree with having to look ahead ,ruminating is such a problem.

take care

PB

The work aspect is probably the hardest hurdle to take. If only we could align work with our windows..

 

It’s tough. Not looking forward to tomorrow, but still hanging in there.

 

 

that's a good point ,windows/work.

I practice mindfulness and it helps me sort out the crap in my head when I really need to focus on a work day ,in a weird window this evening listening to music ,but I better wind down soon to get proper sleep ,its so hard to find a balance  

[BAT]

Does anyone have such bad tightness and stiffness they have a lot of knots, like in their neck, jaw, shoulders, etc??

[apace41]

Does anyone have such bad tightness and stiffness they have a lot of knots, like in their neck, jaw, shoulders, etc??

 

I do, BAT.  Very bad.  Constant.  Massage and hot showers help.

 

It's a VERY common withdrawal symptom.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[BAT]

Apace41 - thank you for your reply.

 

Does your joints or body crack or make noise when you move?