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Dale's fight for normalcy


DaleGarrison

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DaleGarrison

Hey guys, I'm Dale . I'm really glad to be apart of this community . Here's my brief drug history :

 

-In the summer of 2013 I experienced the beginning of a near death experience that produced years of anxiety and insomnia . My GP Rx'ed me xanax 1mg, klonopin 2mg, and restoril 30mg to be taken as needed .

 

-In January 2014, I saw a psychiatrist who Rx'ed me 40mgs of Latuda, 75mg of lyrica , 900 mg of trileptal , and 10mg of lexapro to take every day . By the end of summer of 2014 , due to side effects, I ended up on just 10mg of zyprexa everyday until the fall of 2014 where my dose varied from 1.25 to 5mgs .

 

-Life went on (crappily) . I was placed back on 5mg of lexapro in the fall of 2015. Eventually dose of zyprexa was increased to back up 5mg to 10mgs by the early winter . The lexapro was dropped again in january of 2016 and the zyrepxa stayed until February of 2016 .

 

-Benzos were reinstated for a month from feb. 2016 to march 1st to manage everyday insomnia and anxiety . After side effects and low quality of life, I decided along with my psychiatrists permission to stop all meds march 1st 2016 . Haven't touched anything since .

 

 

I came on this website because despite nearly being 3 months free from Zyprexa, I am still experiencing withdrawal effects such as hypervigilance and not sleeping more than 4 hours a damn night despite good sleep hygiene . While I can "handle" the anxiety, the lack of sleep is driving me to a dire breaking point . I used to be a fitness enthusiast benching 315 for reps , deadlifting 500 for reps, and squatting 405 for reps . Now I look anemic and am weak compared to when I was healthier because my muscles don't recover from in between workouts due to the goddamn insomnia . Because I'm less muscular (I've lost 35+lbs of muscle) and weaker (by 100's of lbs for each lift) due to the withdrawal driven insomnia , my body image linked self esteem has taken a big hit . (I know it's not healthy but I'm just being honest here) 

 

In addition academically, I've really been slammed as well . The insomnia keeps me from attending school full time and thus has significantly  delayed my graduation and my dreams of becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner . The low energy keeps me from working more than 10 hours a week as well, and from dating and making much needed friends . My withdrawal related insomnia has really put my life on hold . 

 

I simply cannot keep living on 4 hours of sleep a night when I regularly need 8-10 to function plus a 1/2 hour to 2hr  nap on those lazy cuddly days . 

 

I JUST WANT MY G*****N LIFE BACK . 

Edited by JanCarol
expletive deleted

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Hello Dale, 

 

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time with the insomnia.  When was the last time you were able to sleep well; which meds were you on at the time?  Did you have trouble with insomnia when coming off the benzos?

 

When you say life went on "crappily" and you were put back on lexapro and Zyprexa increased, what were the symptoms that prompted these changes?  Were you able to sleep when the benzos were reinstated in February?  Which ones were they and at what dose(s)?

 

Benzos cause rebound anxiety and it takes just a couple of weeks to become dependent on them.  I suspect this is a big part of the problem given your history with them, along with AD withdrawal, especially with doing a cold turkey quit.  

 

I would recommend you start an Intro in our Benzo forum here, since the mods there will see it and be able to comment.  See that forum here:  

 

Members-only benzo forum

 

Thank you for filling in your signature block - it is very helpful.  What would be additionally helpful is if you could add details as to what symptoms prompted the med changes.

 

Yours is a complicated history with the polydrugging, benzos, stops and starts, and cold turkey.  This is all very distressing to the nervous system, so it is no wonder you are not feeling well.  At SA we do not recommend stopping psych meds cold turkey as it may be dangerous, especially with regards to benzos, and is very destabilizing to the nervous system. Instead, we recommend a 10% taper per month, calculated on the last month's dosage.  In the event of withdrawal due to cold turkey or fast tapers, we often will advise a reinstatement of a very small dose of the drug you are in withdrawal from.  Since you stopped more than one drug at the same time,  I am putting your situation to the other mods to mull over what the best strategy is for helping you get relief from your symptoms.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

Introduction to AD Withdrawal Syndrome

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Aside from the horrible insomnia and hypervigilance, do you have other symptoms and what is your symptom pattern?  Do you have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, waking due to cortisol spikes?

 

I'm going to provide you with some links.  Give them a read and come back here with any questions you may have.  This is your thread to ask questions, give updates, express concerns, etc.  By clicking Follow above, you will be notified of any replies to your thread.

 

Here are some other links to help you in the meantime:

 

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Are you on any supplements and if so which ones?  The two that we recommend for those in withdrawal are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil

 

Ok, we'll be back!  Welcome to SA!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome Dale,

I'm sorry you're having a rough time at the moment. I don't really have anything to add to SG's great reply, but did want to mention your account name. If you have used your own real name, you may want to change it for privacy reasons. If so, please let us know what you would like to change it to.

 

When we have a few more details, we may be able to offer some suggestions.  I'm glad you found us.

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I'm glad you have joined this community to Dale.

Welcome you have found a safe place.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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  • Moderator

-In the summer of 2013 I experienced the beginning of a near death experience that produced years of anxiety and insomnia . My GP Rx'ed me xanax 1mg, klonopin 2mg, and restoril 30mg to be taken as needed .

 

Dale,

 

Your situation is complicated by the many different drugs your docs put you on and off of in a short period of time.  Once we have a better picture we will hopefully have some guidance as the others have said.

 

I am truly sorry that your doctors drugged you like this.  I assume you are aware that all three of the drugs you were originally given are from the same class of medication and I can't really think of a good reason that you needed more than one, let alone 3!

 

Hang in there.  This is the best place to be for help on these issues.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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DaleGarrison

Hello Dale, 

 

 When was the last time you were able to sleep well; which meds were you on at the time? Did you have trouble with insomnia when coming off the benzos?

Hey SG, thank for your help . I was last able to sleep well naturally (no meds) right before the near death experience - May 2013 .When I was only taking benzos , I has a return of my anxiety and insomnia symptoms . I only had mild withdrawal syptoms at worst from benzos because I only took them sparringly and was self aware of the tolerance issues . Med wise, I slept best on zyprexa . Even after cold turkeying benzos zyprexa always let me sleep - until I built a tolerance to that .

 

When you say life went on "crappily" and you were put back on lexapro and Zyprexa increased, what were the symptoms that prompted these changes?  Were you able to sleep when the benzos were reinstated in February?  Which ones were they and at what dose(s)?

 

 

essentially , being vulnerable to very mild life stressors due to the near death experience weighing me down for three years and making me extremely fragile emotionally . That produced a heightening of my insomnia and anxiety . (bad- I know I need to learn how to manage my life on my own) . I was able to sleep once the benzos were reintroduced , namely Xanax 0.25mg , and Halcion 1mg, for sleep .

 

Benzos cause rebound anxiety and it takes just a couple of weeks to become dependent on them.  I suspect this is a big part of the problem given your history with them, along with AD withdrawal, especially with doing a cold turkey quit.  

 

I would recommend you start an Intro in our Benzo forum here, since the mods there will see it and be able to comment.  See that forum here:  

 

Members-only benzo forum

 

 

While I'm no expert, I'm not really sure . I've never used benzos for more than 2 weeks straight as I was deathly afraid of the tolerance . I'd have urges to use them for about 2-3 days after i stopped to control painful anxiety and insomnia . It was really the zyprexa I've been on for years that was the bear to stop .

 

 

Thank you for filling in your signature block - it is very helpful.  What would be additionally helpful is if you could add details as to what symptoms prompted the med changes.

 

 

I went from my GP who Rx'ed benzos to a psychaitrist who Rx'ed the antipsychotic,anticonvulsant,andtidepressant,anticholoergenic combo becasuse the benzos were only working as a stop gap and since I was only experiencing symptom relief while on benzos (with tolerance increasing of course) and generally did not like being on a benzo treadmill to feel "normal" (with the worry of breakthrough anxiety and dependency weighing so heavily) . Plus the benzos had other draw backs such as day time sedation ,memory isssues and they relaxed my muscles . (NOT cool if for a gym rat like me) My psychiastrist chose his conctail for me because he decided to treat my heightened anxiety and insomnia respince to the near death experience a as "manic epsiode" (you know, since manic bipolar people people are antsy/nervous/and dont sleep as much or need it) and used those drugs to manage the "mania" and told me not to worry about lables like not being actualy being bipolar . I went off the latuda and anti convulsants and anti cholergenic due to the fact that the there wasn't much of an effect from the anticonvulsants besides worsened memory and I couldnt tolerate the Latuda due to severe akathisia .

 

Then the psychiatrist decided to add in Zyprexa nightly for insomnia/anxiety . No side effects besides debilitating mental sluggishment , oversedation and weight gain . I was taking zyprexa by itself for and it worked quite well except for the 90lbs I gained on it (again, devastating for a gym rat). Psychaitrist then decided to add in lexapro to reduce anxiety and see if the lexapro could allow me to lower the zyprexa since I would in therory have less anxiety and need less/no zyprexa . Didn't quite work out , lexapro only helped modestly at 5mg and for anxiety it it doesnt do much past 5mgs, just more side effects so I gave up on that . I then decided with the psychaitrists adivce to move back to a benzo only regiment, since I simply couldnt handle any more weight gain and nobody would date a 290lb chubster .A month later the benzo tolerance started to settle in and then I just had it with all the goddamn pills to simply sleep and I decided along with the psychaitrist advice to simply give up and not take and meds and go cold turkey .

 

3 months later here I am with the same crappy 4 hours a night of sleep - BUT 70 lbs lighter .

 

 

Yours is a complicated history with the polydrugging, benzos, stops and starts, and cold turkey.  This is all very distressing to the nervous system, so it is no wonder you are not feeling well.  At SA we do not recommend stopping psych meds cold turkey as it may be dangerous, especially with regards to benzos, and is very destabilizing to the nervous system. Instead, we recommend a 10% taper per month, calculated on the last month's dosage.  In the event of withdrawal due to cold turkey or fast tapers, we often will advise a reinstatement of a very small dose of the drug you are in withdrawal from.  Since you stopped more than one drug at the same time,  I am putting your situation to the other mods to mull over what the best strategy is for helping you get relief from your symptoms.

 

Thank you, I simply don't know what the hell to do , my life's been hijacked .

 

 

Aside from the horrible insomnia and hypervigilance, do you have other symptoms and what is your symptom pattern?  Do you have difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, waking due to cortisol spikes?

11pm bedtime

12:30am finally sleeping

4:30am AWAKE FOR NO REASON - pointlessly vigilant

11:00am-2pm could easily nod off for 1 to 2 hrs but dont since I have school at that time, extremely fuuzy and tired

8pm slightly less tired and alert

11pm slightly sleepy but not as sleepy as at 11am

 

I have no idea about the cortisol spikes but I do find large doses of vitamin C 4-6 grams to be calming similar to magnesium for a short period of time . I know that C reduces or blocks cortisol but I've never had cortisol tested .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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DaleGarrison

Dale,

 

Your situation is complicated by the many different drugs your docs put you on and off of in a short period of time.  Once we have a better picture we will hopefully have some guidance as the others have said.

 

I am truly sorry that your doctors drugged you like this.  I assume you are aware that all three of the drugs you were originally given are from the same class of medication and I can't really think of a good reason that you needed more than one, let alone 3!

 

Hang in there.  This is the best place to be for help on these issues.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Xanax for break through anxiety

Klonopin for all damn day anxiety

Restoril for just that, resting at night

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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Dale well done for getting of the meds now its time to sort your sleep ,I have had three years of insomnia but have finally beaten it.I would go days without any sleep at all ,I practised mindfulness and acceptance and finally things started to get better,I would sleep longer and no longer wake in the middle of the night.Have you thought about seeing a sleep specialist ?

2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013

December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey

2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey

2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep

Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks

End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reduced
May 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/

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DaleGarrison

Dale well done for getting of the meds now its time to sort your sleep ,I have had three years of insomnia but have finally beaten it.I would go days without any sleep at all ,I practised mindfulness and acceptance and finally things started to get better,I would sleep longer and no longer wake in the middle of the night.Have you thought about seeing a sleep specialist ?

What would the sleep specialist be able to do beside Rx sedating me with addictive GABAergic drugs ?

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Dale well done for getting of the meds now its time to sort your sleep ,I have had three years of insomnia but have finally beaten it.I would go days without any sleep at all ,I practised mindfulness and acceptance and finally things started to get better,I would sleep longer and no longer wake in the middle of the night.Have you thought about seeing a sleep specialist ?

 

Happy to hear this, Andy!  I do know that the insomnia creates added secondary anxiety along the lines of "will I be able to sleep tonight" and that just keeps the wheel rolling, so it is nice to hear once again that mindfulness and Acceptance have allowed a shift to occur for you, Andy.  

 

Given the near-death experience that triggered all of this for you, Dale, I do think it would be beneficial to start doing some work along these lines.  Have you done any CBT with a therapist around that experience? Do have a look through the link I gave you before, Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Surely much of your anxiety is fed by the imbalance created by all the drugging, though your original anxiety can also be amped up for the same reason.  Though it can be tough to get withdrawal anxiety under control, it is worth trying the techniques discussed in that thread.  Our thoughts cause our suffering, even when they are fueled by the chemical imbalance caused by withdrawal.  

 

I particularly found the teachings of Eckhart Tolle helpful, while others find Claire Weekes' work helpful

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10992-eckhart-tolle-the-pain-body-and-mental-suffering-during-withdrawal/

 

When we are in distress from withdrawal and not being able to sleep, we tend to fight against it and struggle to find something to DO, but that only keeps us stuck.  As Andy discovered, Acceptance is usually a big turning point for folks here, that things begin to improve when they finally Accept that they are in withdrawal and there is nothing that can fix it other than time, time for the nervous system to heal.  It's a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary one.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Dale well done for getting of the meds now its time to sort your sleep ,I have had three years of insomnia but have finally beaten it.I would go days without any sleep at all ,I practised mindfulness and acceptance and finally things started to get better,I would sleep longer and no longer wake in the middle of the night.Have you thought about seeing a sleep specialist ?

What would the sleep specialist be able to do beside Rx sedating me with addictive GABAergic drugs ?
I went to a hypnotherapist that helped me loose my fear of bedtime,I thought it would be mumbojumbo but it really helped? I also listened to sleep CDs at night and stop surfing the net after I had eaten.Sleep hygiene also helped me recover slowly but surely

Believe me I had chronic insomnia so I know how you feel

2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013

December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey

2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey

2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep

Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks

End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reduced
May 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Dale, I could hardly believe what I was reading when I saw all the drugs your psychiatrist prescribed, and 3 bezos by your doctor too.  This is going to take some time for your poor brain and nervous system to recover. I can empathise with you regarding the insomnia, I am a chronic insomniac and 4 hours of broken sleep is a luxury for me.  I have gone days with no sleep at all when suffering withdrawal, and it really gets you down. I was so tempted to try benzos but resisted because I didn't want to start more drugs when I was finally getting off  them after decades of different drugs.  

 

Acceptance and mindfulness are what has got me through. It is sometimes hard but I tell myself there is nothing I can do about it and try to think of something positive,  This will pass and be just a memory, one that will make you a better psychiatric nurse practitioner because you will have true empathy and hopefully be able to recognise what is happening when others are suffering from drug cocktails.  ( I don't know if NP's would be able to influence prescribing.)

 

SG has given you lots of links to look at and hopefully you will find something in there that helps. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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DaleGarrison

( I don't know if NP's would be able to influence prescribing.)

 

SG has given you lots of links to look at and hopefully you will find something in there that helps.

Psych NP's at the masters and graduate levels can Rx meds and do talk therapy . In some states they can act independently of a psychiatrist .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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DaleGarrison

Thank you all for your support and concern so far . I had a stern talk with my pharmacist today , after giving him my history, he told me that I'm looking at about at least 8 MORE MONTHS before I see any realistic improvement . Given my stats, and history would you guys agree that I'm pretty much stuck where I am for the minimum of that time period insomnia wise ?

 

Secondly, I'm assuming you guys are telling me the only thing I can do is simply accept the situation , take magnesium , and do talk therapy .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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DaleGarrison

Honestly, I find this whole thing with the insomnia devastating because I'm really into fitness and bodybuilding and since I don't sleep , I can't really grow more muscle or lose much body fat . I know its not healthy to link yourself esteem to how much of a meatball you look like but thats how it works for me . I hate my self right now because I look anemic/AIDS stricken compared to my beefier self and haven't been able to workout with an intensity for years

 

Throw in the fact that I'm gay and most guys, as horribly messed up as this sounds , want to date/hook up with a guy that's beefcake and place a premium on that . When I was much bigger and in better shape I was practically a king among most gays . Now Ever since I've lost my physique due to the sleep deprivation it's almost like I'm invisible and I'm stuck being single . I really hate being alone .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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  • Administrator
Altostrata

Welcome, Dale.
 
After all your drug adventures, 4 hours of sleep a night isn't too bad!
 
This is extremely helpful:
 

....
11pm bedtime
12:30am finally sleeping
4:30am AWAKE FOR NO REASON - pointlessly vigilant
11:00am-2pm could easily nod off for 1 to 2 hrs but dont since I have school at that time, extremely fuuzy and tired
8pm slightly less tired and alert
11pm slightly sleepy but not as sleepy as at 11am

I have no idea about the cortisol spikes but I do find large doses of vitamin C 4-6 grams to be calming similar to magnesium for a short period of time . I know that C reduces or blocks cortisol but I've never had cortisol tested .


Your nervous system naturally has a cortisol spike in the early morning to get ready for the daytime -- 4:30 a.m. is very normal. It is triggered by the very first light of the sun. Is your bedroom completely dark to keep this light out? See Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems  You might wear a sleep mask, too.

 

When one's nervous system is in a state of stress -- which can happen as a result of going on and off psychiatric drugs -- it can be oversensitive to this cortisol stimulation and jolt you awake. Meditation can help calm your nervous system. It's definitely better to do this at 4:30 a.m. than to get anxious about not having enough sleep.

 

Talk therapy might also help you calm your nervous system down. Some talk therapists provide coaching in meditation, too.

 

(andy has excellent suggestions for re-establishing your sleep cycle. A sleep specialist can determine if perhaps sleep apnea is involved. But if you wake regularly at 4:30, this is your "natural" sleep cycle for the time being.)

 

Why do you go to bed at 11 p.m.? Are you on the computer that late? See TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime   This is definitely a factor in sleeplessness.

 

You could work on this from two ends: Going to sleep earlier and prolonging sleep after 4:30.

 

What you might do is take a bit of melatonin, as little as .25mg, at nightfall, turn off all the lights, stay off the computer, and go to bed earlier. Melatonin triggers sleep. If you wake at 4:30 a.m., you might have gotten, say 6 hours of sleep by that time, if you were asleep by 10 p.m.

 

See Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

While your sleep recovers, which will take some weeks, at least, you'd be an early bird and get more done in the morning.

 

You might also take extended-release vitamin C when you go to bed, and possibly when you wake up at 4:30 (if it's not too rough on your stomach), along with magnesium. Magnesium is relaxing. Fish oil is good, too.

 

See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

I had a stern talk with my pharmacist today , after giving him my history, he told me that I'm looking at about at least 8 MORE MONTHS before I see any realistic improvement .

 

 

Interesting that your pharmacist said that. Any idea why?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

Honestly, I find this whole thing with the insomnia devastating because I'm really into fitness and bodybuilding and since I don't sleep , I can't really grow more muscle or lose much body fat . I know its not healthy to link yourself esteem to how much of a meatball you look like but thats how it works for me . I hate my self right now because I look anemic/AIDS stricken compared to my beefier self and haven't been able to workout with an intensity for years

 

To be honest, we are not certain of a path for you reinstatement-wise, which would be the only other option aside from time, self-care, and acceptance.  Your history is complicated.  Benzos might be the one thing that could be tried at a very minimal dose to hopefully alleviate the worst symptoms, but for that I encourage you to join the benzo forum if you haven't already since the mods there are much more experienced on them.  I just hate that you got taken on this wild ride and are suffering so much for it.  You are truly not alone in that.  Save for the ones that have gotten all the way off and have posted their success story, the rest of us are on the ride with you.  It's one you can't just step off of.  Once the nervous system has been forced to remodel in the presence of these drugs, we are caught between a rock and a hard place.

 

I will offer you my own experience about body image.  I am a recovered bulimic, so I totally relate to where you are coming from with your identity with appearance.  I was put on Remeron when I was at the height of my Effexor withdrawal, and I was horrified when I learned that it is known for weight gain.  My god, why would a p-doc put a patient with a history of bulimia on a drug that causes weight gain?!!!   I expressed my concerns and he said "in my experience people with eating disorders do well with this drug because they have better control...."  Oy, I accepted that answer!  So, you can imagine how I felt when the pounds started creeping on despite the fact that I really wasn't eating more!  In fact, I never developed the voracious appetite that people do with this drug.  I began to feel distressed, and the body hatred started to come back....

 

But then I found compassion for myself.  I thought, my body can't help this situation - it is not the enemy and isn't at fault.  I can nurture myself, my body and get through this.  As I come off this med, the weight will come off, so I can wait and be kind to myself.  And so I arrived at acceptance.  I have lost a few pounds as I taper.  I know this isn't forever.  

 

So please, Dale, try to be kind to yourself and be patient.  This is not a permanent situation.  You are at that anger stage of fighting against the predicament you find yourself in, but doing so won't make anything different or better and will make you feel a lot worse.  

 

I wish we had more to offer you.  Who knows - maybe this is the beginning of  period of evolution for you.  You will most definitely come out of this, and the experience will make you an awesome psychiatric nurse practitioner, as mammaP said!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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DaleGarrison

Your nervous system naturally has a cortisol spike in the early morning to get ready for the daytime -- 4:30 a.m. is very normal. It is triggered by the very first light of the sun. Is your bedroom completely dark to keep this light out? See Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems  You might wear a sleep mask, too.

2 months after the near death experience, I had a sleep study done at a local hospital , i didn not have sleep apenea , just stupid constant overeactive anxiety from the near death event . I have good sleep hygiene , my room is darkened with the curtains and I do wear an eye mask to be safe . At the current time, 4:30 am is still pretty dark .I do get what you're saying .

 

When one's nervous system is in a state of stress -- which can happen as a result of going on and off psychiatric drugs -- it can be oversensitive to this cortisol stimulation and jolt you awake. Meditation can help calm your nervous system. It's definitely better to do this at 4:30 a.m. than to get anxious about not having enough sleep.

That's an excelent observation , it really make's sense Alto .

 

 

Talk therapy might also help you calm your nervous system down. Some talk therapists provide coaching in meditation, too.

I've scheduled an appointment with an intake therapist at my local outpatient facility for early June to find a therapist to help guide me through the withdrawal pains .

 

(andy has excellent suggestions for re-establishing your sleep cycle. A sleep specialist can determine if perhaps sleep apnea is involved. But if you wake regularly at 4:30, this is your "natural" sleep cycle for the time being.)

That's f-ing horrendous . I can barely function as a human being and my 20's are being destroyed . its bad enough I've had 23-26 squandered due to trauma from a near death experience (spent 6 months not leaving the freaking house due fear) and now 26 to god know's long will be wasted with my goddamn lazy uncooperative ass brain taking it's time to realize I'm not going to be killed/raped if I sleep .

 

Why do you go to bed at 11 p.m.? Are you on the computer that late? See TV or computer use in evening can disrupt sleep: Bright light signals the brain that it's daytime   This is definitely a factor in sleeplessness.

I'm aware that blue light is neorlogically stimulating (blue light = sky = daytime to my stupid brain ?), however before the near death event, I would fall alseep watching tv . However my if my stupid CNS is all fragile and hyperactive then I'll give up all screens 1hr before bed and read a book instead of reading on my tablet in bed .

 

 

You could work on this from two ends: Going to sleep earlier and prolonging sleep after 4:30.

 

 What you might do is take a bit of melatonin, as little as .25mg, at nightfall, turn off all the lights, stay off the computer, and go to bed earlier. Melatonin triggers sleep. If you wake at 4:30 a.m., you might have gotten, say 6 hours of sleep by that time, if you were asleep by 10 p.m.

I'll try to go to bed earlier tonight , but usually its just a non negotiable 4hrs period . It's like I can't get ahead . I also really do not like the idea of taking a pill (albeit over the counter) to sleep , psychologically it is bit agitating , only since my life has revolved around them .

 

See Melatonin for sleep: Many people find it helpful

 

While your sleep recovers, which will take some weeks, at least, you'd be an early bird and get more done in the morning.

 

You might also take extended-release vitamin C when you go to bed, and possibly when you wake up at 4:30 (if it's not too rough on your stomach), along with magnesium. Magnesium is relaxing. Fish oil is good, too.

Hmm so don't combat the 4:30 am jolt with a Vit. C megadose when I wake , simply just take the C before in XR form . That's a great idea. Anything else supplement wise you'd suggest . I'll definitely start fish oil tonight .

 

 

Interesting that your pharmacist said that. Any idea why?

It was his guestimation given my stats, history, and anecdotal experience he's had with similar patients through out the years . He really thinks zyprexa is the culprit since, it binds to many receptors, I've used over a year and since it binds to GABA sub alpha to a small degree .

 

Thanks for weighing in Alto , your SA has been a great resource for me .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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DaleGarrison

 

 

Dale well done for getting of the meds now its time to sort your sleep ,I have had three years of insomnia but have finally beaten it.I would go days without any sleep at all ,I practised mindfulness and acceptance and finally things started to get better,I would sleep longer and no longer wake in the middle of the night.Have you thought about seeing a sleep specialist ?

What would the sleep specialist be able to do beside Rx sedating me with addictive GABAergic drugs ?

 

I went to a hypnotherapist that helped me loose my fear of bedtime,I thought it would be mumbojumbo but it really helped? I also listened to sleep CDs at night and stop surfing the net after I had eaten.Sleep hygiene also helped me recover slowly but surely

Believe me I had chronic insomnia so I know how you feel

 

I have an intake appointment lined up for early June . Thanks Andy

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

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  • Moderator

Hey Dale, 

 

You've gotten some wise suggestions here, I have little to add - other than to say - I am sorry you became this experiment which robbed you of years of your life.

 

But perspective - consider yourself lucky.  There are people here in SA who got robbed from the ages of 8-46, or were started on the drugs in teenage years and never came to a normal, natural adulthood.

 

You got to see who you are as an adult before this happened, and you have the ability to shape who you will look like as you come out of this - inner and outer!

 

Some people here have mentioned "meditation."  As a yoga / meditation cult survivor, I'm a bit of a picky one.  The p-docs and psychs will tell you CBT, but that's falling out of favor as "mindfulness" begins to become predominant in therapeutic situations.

 

It's hard to go wrong with mindfulness.  There's a great book by Mark Williams, called "The Mindful Way Through Depression."  It talks about how we, as human-apes, have developed the skill of rumination.  In a tribal setting, rumination serves a very useful purpose for problem solving:  how to keep the tiger from the village, what to do about the blight in the crops, how to make a thing to sit upon, etc.  Unfortunately, in our modern life, most of these problems are solved - so the rumination "skill" locks its teeth into problems like:  Why did I say that? Why did he say that?  What do I say next time I see him?  Why do my calves look like that?  etc. etc.

 

Mindfulness helps keep the focus on the solvable problems, and helps pull the claws out of the unsolvable ones.

 

Many other people here have been deeply moved by Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now," a very accessible description of being present and mindful.

 

The simplest way to engage the mindful thing is to engage your senses.  Right now.   What do you see, right now.  Right now?  right now, again?  Hear?  Touch?  Taste? Smell?  Just taking one minute to feel the texture of the velvet on the sofa, or the fleece on your shirt - can be enough to shift your awareness out of rumination.

 

These are the essences of good meditation, healthy meditation, helpful meditation (I won't go into the unhealthy and unhelpful ones).  Many of us are self-taught, no need for guru or teacher - but - if you can find a group practice, there is a synergy you can experience when meditating with others (as long as there is not a control freak in the room).

 

Also, be aware of 2 pitfalls of withdrawal:  Neuro-emotion, and Waves and Windows.  The first is the way that withdrawal magnifies normal emotion to extreme degrees.  You are not going mad, it is only withdrawal.  The second is a pattern of withdrawal - it takes time to repair all of the systems affected by the drugs.  So sometimes sections (like your sleep) will go off-line for repairs.  You may get your sleep back, only to find another system has been affected.  Just roll with it - it is only withdrawal, and it is a sign that you are healing.

 

You've got this, you can do this.  It does get better, and while your pharmacist's estimate of 8 months is fairly realistic - I am here to tell you that it can get better each day, each week, each month.  Look to the better things - the things you enjoy (gently, don't put pressure on yourself), and let that be your guide through the next year or two as you come out of this.

 

It does get better, it will get better.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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hang in there Dale you will get a lot of good support on here

2012 put on Citalopram and diazepam for 3 months for "depression" after filling in a 3 minute form at the doctors, had a massive reaction with panic attacks and extreme anxiety,never suffered panic attacks or anxiety before citalopram.Told to quit cold turkey which led to two hospital admissions during 2012/2013

December for 6 months Seroquel dosage adjusted up and down 50mg ,150mg ,100mg, caused severe tinnitus ,told to quit cold turkey

2013 January for 12 months Lorazapam given to me like sweets,told to quit cold turkey

2013 May Zoloft for 6 months ,told to quit cold turkey, reinstated 50mg tapered 2nd time over a month (to fast but I survived)messed up my sleep

Zyprexa April 2103 5mg until august 2014 ,dropped by doctor down to 2.5mg for one month went well but sleep was very poor for 3 weeks

End of 2015 I had to reinstate back up to 5mg due to constant insomnia that wouldnt go away Started a slow taper and found an understanding doctor who listened to me while I reduced
May 2016 drug free, sleeping and doing well in life again, it can be done http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12078-finally-off-zyprexa/

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DaleGarrison

Guys, thank you so much for your excellent and much needed advice . I'm officially going to :

 

-Accept my situation with this withdrawal and it's temporary consequences of debilitation/impairment

 

-Follow the sleep and supplement advice

 

-continue to abstain from using sedating medications

 

-continue to live a healthy lifestyle , go to therapy and be kind to myself

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post

Guys, thank you so much for your excellent and much needed advice . I'm officially going to :

 

-Accept my situation with this withdrawal and it's temporary consequences of debilitation/impairment

 

-Follow the sleep and supplement advice

 

-continue to abstain from using sedating medications

 

-continue to live a healthy lifestyle , go to therapy and be kind to myself

Wow you only joined two days ago...this is simply remarkable!!!

 

You have now officially graduated...I present you with the SA diploma....Congratulations.

diploma-en.jpg

 

 

 The insomnia keeps me from attending school full time and thus has significantly  delayed my graduation and my dreams of becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner .

You are going to become the best psychiatric nurse practitioner there is.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

Link to post
DaleGarrison

Thank you for the honorary diploma . I certainly hope I recover in time before I transfer to Rutgers University , and I would agree that this experience certainly will make me a most compassionate HCP .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post

Alright dale I was on xanax fir about 3 months and 2,5 mgs of zyprexa for about 5months. I suffered wirh insomia for a while , i was weaned off xanax in a hospital slowly it was horrible. My doc took me zyprexa without taper. It was worse than the xanax 10 weeks of sickness my stormach was in agony most days. I took sodium bicarbonate to help my stormach and pineapple juice. It did get easier after 10 weeks. Mindfullness and lavender drops helped me to sleep. Good luck..

I am off all meds 16 months I had been on olanzapine, Effexor zanex and assorted sleeping meds for approx 2 years.

Weaned off 375 mg effexor over two years, I had previously come off xanax, rivotrill and olazapine. Reinstated 75mg of effexor on the 22/12/16

Link to post
DaleGarrison

SA Members,

 

I know you are all busy so I'll keep it short .

 

 

Given my history, and that I'm doing the best I can at the moment with my life , should I continue to stay medication free ? I've been off all meds for about 8 weeks . My biggest complaint is insomnia . despite my best efforts to follow your sleep advice, the most I can manage is about 4 hours - painfully demoralizing at best . I am toying with the idea of being on a baby dose of liquid zyprexa and decreasing it slowly as per the 10% rule . Of course, zyprexa made me fat and impaired me mentally but that's besides the point . 30% of me thinks the whole insomnia might be partially psychologically fueled now since I've needed a pill to sleep for 3 years and do think about sleep at bit too much . Again , I have taken the time to schedule an intake appointment with a therapist and have been reading the mindful links which are superb .

 

 

Should I continue to tough it out and keep abstaining from the liquid zyprexa in hopes weaker waves and longer windows are around the corner ? I Miss not having the energy to lift weights and not do my favorite fitness activities but realize my overall health is more important . What would you do ?

 

 

Thank you so much for weighing in and your concern .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post
  • Administrator

Hi, Dale.

 

You definitely have been through a lot with these meds, but it looks like you're getting a ton of support and information.

 

I just wanted to offer you some encouragement because I came off a cocktail of 6 drugs including 2 benzos and a z-drug. I went for months with only 0 - 2 hours of sleep after coming off, so your 4 hours of sleep a night sounds promising. 

 

Zyprexa is one of the few antipsychotics I've never been on, but it is known for weight gain (and a ton of other side effects). Considering one of your main goals is to get back into your fitness and bodybuilding routine again, do you think you might be okay going with the non-drug methods of coping? 

 

I'm a huge fan of mindfulness and use a lot of the videos listed here at night:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6122-guided-meditations-calming-videos-sleep-hypnosis/

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

Link to post
  • Moderator

Hmm.  Good question, Dale!

 

I agree with Shep, if you can possibly get through this, you will be better off in the long run.  

 

Sleep is important.  And we all go through some form of insomnia as our bodies heal from withdrawal.  Sometimes laying in bed at the right times, resting, is enough to help you survive, whether you sleep or not, just tell yourself, "I'm resting.  It's okay.  I'm resting."

 

You've got 2 factors here:  the brake (zyprexa) and the accelerator (lexapro).  You were on the brake for longer than the accelerator by about 2 years.  But you quit them both at the same time, both CT. 

 

Zyprexa is very strong, and hits dopamine receptors early in the dose.  You could try 1/2 mg.  If your sleep stabilizes, then we know we've touched on something.  Your brain could be soothed by just a tiny tiny amount.  If you try this, give it 4 days to work.  If things go haywire or get worse (re-evaluate on day 5) you can always drop it off again, or (egads) even increase it to 1 mg (I'm as reluctant to say that as you are to do it)

 

It may be that just a touch of the hair of the dog that bit you, might ease your symptoms a bit.  But it is late in the game for reinstatement, the best window of opportunity is immediately after CT up to 3 months out.  After that, the chances of relief diminish, and everyone is different.  You might be taking a chance at further destabilization with a reinstatement.  Usually, you know right away if it is what your body needs.  Additionally, at lower levels, it's more likely to hit on the 5H2A and Histamine receptors, than on the dopamine (D2) receptors - so - maybe - just maybe - not so much weight gain.

 

The choice is yours, it always is.  Your body, your mind, your health.  

 

You might study here:  Tips for Tapering off Zyprexa Olanzapine

 

But Shep is very right - we all suffer from sleep loss.  If that is your worst symptom, you'd do better to hang in there, and leave the dangerous drugs alone.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/53-sleep-problems-that-awful-withdrawal-insomnia/

and

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

 

It's kind of like trying to hit that 3-pointer in basketball just as the buzzer rings.  It can work, but it's a little desperate and a wild shot.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to post
DaleGarrison

Ugh fine, as much as I'd like to have the energy to get in touch with my inner meatball, I'll continue to abstain from all psychotropic medications . As much as I'd like to bench 315 again for reps, I'm better off moving more quickly towards sleeping naturally again . A big factor in this decision for me is the fact that zyprexa reduces my memory and mental agility significantly .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

JanCarol gave you the link for tapering Zyprexa so if you haven't read that, do so.  Interesting that if affects: weight gain, blood sugar elevation, and movement disorders among them.  Have you managed to lose weight since coming off?  Sorry if that detail has already been discussed - your thread has grown rather quickly for a newbie!

 

It's all temporary; you'll get yourself back in due time.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to post
DaleGarrison

JanCarol gave you the link for tapering Zyprexa so if you haven't read that, do so.  Interesting that if affects: weight gain, blood sugar elevation, and movement disorders among them.  Have you managed to lose weight since coming off?  Sorry if that detail has already been discussed - your thread has grown rather quickly for a newbie!

 

It's all temporary; you'll get yourself back in due time.

 

SG

I've lost ~70lbs while off zyprexa - with serious effort diet wise mainly . but now have plateaued due to lack of sleep.

 

EDIT: I just came over some articles that link antipsychotics to brain shrinkage in the first three months of use and brain damage . I'm never touching that stuff ever again .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post
  • Administrator
Altostrata

Zyprexa is a horrible drug, like all the other antipsychotics.

 

Try only one change at a time, to see what it does, before changing something else.

 

A tablet produces more light to reset your pineal gland than a TV at some distance. That alone may be causing your nervous system to be hyperactive in the sleep cycle.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to post

Given my history, and that I'm doing the best I can at the moment with my life , should I continue to stay medication free ? I've been off all meds for about 8 weeks . My biggest complaint is insomnia . despite my best efforts to follow your sleep advice, the most I can manage is about 4 hours - painfully demoralizing at best .

 

Should I continue to tough it out and keep abstaining from the liquid zyprexa in hopes weaker waves and longer windows are around the corner ? I Miss not having the energy to lift weights and not do my favorite fitness activities but realize my overall health is more important . What would you do ?

 

 

oh boy! 1-2 days is a long time when in sa land....a lot can happen in a day thats for sure!

 

If insomnia and the fact you cant bench press an elephant are the only reasons you want to take drugs again then i would stay the course drug free cos i can tell you now and this might come as a bit of a surprise to you but things could be a whole lot worse. Seriously !

 

Refer back to your official 'Diploma winning' statement post #22 and pin it to the wall and fight as if your life depended on it to keep it.

 

Dreadful disrupted sleep has been the norm for me for some time now and to be honest I'm really 'pissed' (thats a Kelly Brogan word i recently learned...and i like it) about this but i'm not going to break my brains heart by pharmaceutically assaulting it again. Period.

 

What would you do ?

Thank you for asking ...this is what i would do...never take another psychotropic drug again!

Get the book  anatomy of an epidemic by Whitaker and read page 112-113.

I would do some heavy lifting of a different kind...pick up the psychiatric nursing books and start studying (use the drug induced withdrawal OCD regarding insomnia or whatever and rechannel it into a new ocd (study) direction) ..using that as a withdrawal distraction or an aid to put me to sleep. Its a win-win.

 

nz11

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

Link to post
DaleGarrison

If insomnia and the fact you cant bench press an elephant are the only reasons you want to take drugs again then i would stay the course drug free cos i can tell you now and this might come as a bit of a surprise to you but things could be a whole lot worse. Seriously !

 

Refer back to your official 'Diploma winning' statement post #22 and pin it to the wall and fight as if your life depended on it to keep it.

That actually won't be neccesary . You are right that they were poor motivations to reinstate . I simply wanted to get big and strong again because it's fun and also for dating .

 

However. . . The fact that anti-psychotics reduce brain volume in the first three months of use and have been linked to brain damage long term is more than enough to stay the hell away . In fact, the potent anticholergenic effects of zyprexa also cause a severe reduction in memory function . Not to mention the huge congitive detriment from the dopamine blockade . Then there's the daytime sedation . Anti-psychotics by their very nature of what they bind to and block are essentially avolition/obesity in a pill .

 

This semester I'm taking :

 

Organic Chemistry II

Anatomy & Physiology I

Engineering Physics III

 

I don't need essentially "anti-adderall" ruining me this semester . I have a 3.72 gpa and I'd like to raise to a 3.85 before I transfer out of my current school and pray to the psychiatric gods that I get into UPenn or NYU for the rest of my BSN . If worst comes to worst , there's always Rutgers but at least I tried . If I'm stuck at RU perhaps if I can apply to grad school at the two mentioned schools .

 

What would you do ?

Thank you for asking ...this is what i would do...never take another psychotropic drug again!

Get the book  anatomy of an epidemic by Whitaker and read page 112-113.

I would do some heavy lifting of a different kind...pick up the psychiatric nursing books and start studying (use the drug induced withdrawal OCD regarding insomnia or whatever and rechannel it into a new ocd (study) direction) ..using that as a withdrawal distraction or an aid to put me to sleep. Its a win-win.

 

nz11

This is actually genius . Thank you .

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post
DaleGarrison

This is god awful Derek . I'm extremely sorry .

 

I'm officially going to let this whole sleep thing go and just focus on school so I can help other people with this horrid condition . Perhaps in 12-36 months this will all be but a mildly disturbing memory .

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed quoted post - now hidden due to gross content

My Withdrawal History:

 

Zyprexa 2.5 to 10 mg -July 2014 to December 2015 - Stopped January 2016 .

 

Benzodiazepines (Xanax 1mg, Klonopin 2mg, Restoril 30mg, Halcion 0.5mg):

As needed from Summer 2013 to July 2014 . Used nightly from January 2016 to March 1, 2016. XYREM 9.0g - used last nightly only last two weeks of February

 

Lexapro 5mg from Summer 2016 to January 2016 . Stopped January 2016 . Then caved into the WD insomnia and was on and off Klonopin 2/4mg and Zyprexa 10mg until I built tolerance and cold turkeyed in August 2017.

 

Officially Medication Free Since August 1, 2017 . 

 

Never Suffer Needlessly - it ages you  .  Make the most of what you have been dealt . Be kind to yourself and peacefully reach your goals .

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
SquirrellyGirl

 

I'm officially going to let this whole sleep thing go and just focus on school so I can help other people with this horrid condition . Perhaps in 12-36 months this will all be but a mildly disturbing memory .

 

 

Sounds like a positive and powerful attitude to me!  How are you doing today, Dale?

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

Link to post
  • ChessieCat changed the title to Dale's fight for normalcy

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