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DarkSoul: Hi everyone, this is my story


DarkSoul

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Dear anyone who can help. I've had some serious withdrawal effects and i'm wondering if you can lend me some of your wisdom, with my fading soul.To keep it short, i'm 14(15 on may 26) years old, i took 10 mg of prozac the first month, and 20 mg the second month, then i was prescribed lexapro. Once i had lexapro in my system for only 1 week, i knew something was extremely off with my mind and body. it was a strange constant, empty and achy inhuman feeling. my stupid doctor told me i became more depressed and bipolar so she tried prescribing more and more of these deadly pills. we knew something was way off, so we agreed to stop before something even worse could happen. she said she knew about tapering but said what im going through, tapering wont be necessary. we thought " OK, your a doctor, you must know what your talking about." a few days later instant hell broke loose. my body was on fire, i was extremely manic, extremely sad, angry, lonely, losing my personality, and constantly suffering so much, i thought death would be better than my living hell. its been 8 weeks of withdrawals sadly. my life has always had love and pleasure, but now its an empty, never ending hell. i understand these symptoms hit you in waves, but even the "good" ones feel at best, 5% of what i used to feel like. it was constant euphoria compared to this. any help you can give is MUCH appreciated. with much love and gratitude, Soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome Soul.

 

In all likelihood, what you're feeling and experiencing right now are the symptoms of withdrawal. What a rotten situation that your doctor wasn't more careful about your well-being.

 

A moderator will post in this thread before long with wiser words than mine. It will help them help you if you give details (how much and when you started that dosage) of your lexapro (and other drugs, if any) history in your signature.

 

Instructions on creating your signature are here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Have you looked at this thread about Tapering off Lexapro?

 

Sorry that you're suffering and glad that you found us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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DarkSoul, There are people here who can give you excellent advice. Your situation is one that others are more knowledgeable about than I am, but I wanted to welcome you and tell you that you will get better from this. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, but hang in there because it won't stay like this!

 

I also want to say you're smart and brave to have realized what the meds were doing to you and to have asserted that they were not right for you!

 

One more thing - some people get a lot of relief when they reinstate a very, very tiny amount of the med to alleviate acute withdrawal. I never knew to try that and I honestly don't know if it's advisable in your case. But there are people here who can give you great knowledge of how to do that and then taper off it slowly enough that you heal from the meds more gently. Again, wait for their advice - I'm sure you'll get some soon. And if you have some of both of the meds you've taken left, don't discard it yet!

 

Again, welcome. You'll get lots of understanding and wonderful advice and support here.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Soul, Your courage and tenacity at such a young age are remarkable. Your brain is very adaptive to change while so young. You WILL get better. No one will be able to tell you exactly when, but you will you need to summon up all the courage and strength you have and assure yourself you are in good hands here. A moderator will be along shortly with technical advice, but, honestly, I am in awe of ability to take matters into your own hands. Not many your age would do this; they would trust their doctors. Did your parents lead you to this site? If not, it would be a good idea for them to become familiar with the basic principles as outlined on the home page.

 

Welcome. We will all be rooting for you.

Grace

amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent, infrequent use of benzos over 2 decades

2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg

2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg.

2015-present  tapered from 300 mg. trileptal to 103 mg.;  12.74 valium,  4 mg. remeron

 

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Thank you all for your support and optimism. ^_^  These are some incredibly tough times we have to go through. Advice along with love is the best way to go with this. Im glad i found this site and all the help you guys can offer. With love, Soul 

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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OMG, such a crime to put a teenage on these dangerous drugs!

I'm so sorry Soul you were hit by the evil drug and the most ignorant doctor!

 

It sounds you were not too bad while on Prozac. How dis you feel when you were in the first month with Prozac and why the dose was increased and switched to lexapro?

 

I sounds to me you had a toxic reaction to lexapro then followed by withdrawal of both. Did you get any improvement of any symptoms over the past 58 days? Have you been taking any other medications?

 

These early questions are to help our mods and more experienced members to help you with their thoughts.

 

The symptoms you described while on lexapro is what I always got during my slow taper. They are horrible. I'm very impressed you were so strong enduring those at such a young age!! I can tell you are very strong and true fighter. You will beat it giving the short period of use.

 

Hang in there, you now know you are not alone and we are all here to support you with full understanding and care.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Soul, Im sorry you have suffered. Have hope, it will get better.

Currently on 50mg Fluvoxamine. Reading more before the next attempt at tapering.

 

Started Lexapro 04, have been mostly on med combinations since for 12 years.

May 2015 - zeldox 80 - 100mg, fluvoxamine 200mg, dexamphetamine 10mg

Lorazepam and clonazepam on and off for over a decade. Heavily sedated with antipsychotics - mostly Zyprexa and seroquel. Many hospitalisations. Many types of therapy, last being 7 years of psychodynamic that only figured out my pain was real.

Pain meds - Lyrica 150mg palexia 100mg - discontinued eary 2016

Done ok so far but cant drop the last antidepressant without physical illness.

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OMG, such a crime to put a teenage on these dangerous drugs!

I'm so sorry Soul you were hit by the evil drug and the most ignorant doctor!

 

It sounds you were not too bad while on Prozac. How dis you feel when you were in the first month with Prozac and why the dose was increased and switched to lexapro?

 

I sounds to me you had a toxic reaction to lexapro then followed by withdrawal of both. Did you get any improvement of any symptoms over the past 58 days? Have you been taking any other medications?

 

These early questions are to help our mods and more experienced members to help you with their thoughts.

 

The symptoms you described while on lexapro is what I always got during my slow taper. They are horrible. I'm very impressed you were so strong enduring those at such a young age!! I can tell you are very strong and true fighter. You will beat it giving the short period of use.

 

Hang in there, you now know you are not alone and we are all here to support you with full understanding and care.

 

Lex

Thanks for the support Lex, im feeling better at the moment but as ive learned, these emotions and pains hit in waves. At the moment its a good one :D  And ive taken no other meds so far. The biggest thing i am wondering is whether i can still try tapering. Either way ill try to stay optimistic in these times of great suffering. Glad to keep in touch Lex. 

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Welcome Soul.

 

In all likelihood, what you're feeling and experiencing right now are the symptoms of withdrawal. What a rotten situation that your doctor wasn't more careful about your well-being.

 

A moderator will post in this thread before long with wiser words than mine. It will help them help you if you give details (how much and when you started that dosage) of your lexapro (and other drugs, if any) history in your signature.

 

Instructions on creating your signature are here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Have you looked at this thread about Tapering off Lexapro?

 

Sorry that you're suffering and glad that you found us.

Agreed. Thanks for the sympathy and info. Happy you can help. Soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Hi Soul, Im sorry you have suffered. Have hope, it will get better.

its probably one of the best things i can do. thanks for the support. Soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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DarkSoul, There are people here who can give you excellent advice. Your situation is one that others are more knowledgeable about than I am, but I wanted to welcome you and tell you that you will get better from this. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, but hang in there because it won't stay like this!

 

I also want to say you're smart and brave to have realized what the meds were doing to you and to have asserted that they were not right for you!

 

One more thing - some people get a lot of relief when they reinstate a very, very tiny amount of the med to alleviate acute withdrawal. I never knew to try that and I honestly don't know if it's advisable in your case. But there are people here who can give you great knowledge of how to do that and then taper off it slowly enough that you heal from the meds more gently. Again, wait for their advice - I'm sure you'll get some soon. And if you have some of both of the meds you've taken left, don't discard it yet!

 

Again, welcome. You'll get lots of understanding and wonderful advice and support here

Thanks so much for being so kind and helpful. Im truly happy you can help. soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Im extremely grateful for all of your help. Its wonderful to have people who can understand the suffering we go through. Having our minds and bodys almost paralyzed by all the pain... its not right in so many ways. some of the best things we can do is to stay positive and do everything we can to help ourselves and others.<3 soul  

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Hi Soul.  I won't call you dark because you seem just the opposite - a light filled soul .   :)    I too , am sorry for what you have been through at such a young age. It shouldn't happen , but unfortunately as you have already experienced, doctors are quick to administer the drugs but do not know much about them and how they should be tapered off very slowly.

As you have been off the Lexapro for 8 wks, there is a chance that a reinstatement of a small amount of medication could help . However, you said you had a reaction to the Lexapro, so maybe a reinstatement of Prozac would be more beneficial . That remains to be seen. If you can give us more information , it will be helpful .

Can you tell us some more about your symptoms, from the Lexapro. What were you experiencing ?  If we can learn a little more , it will help us to advise you on the next step. 

Thank you for adding your drug history signature.  This link explains reinstatement :

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

In the meantime , here are some links that will help to explain what is happening in withdrawal.

What is withdrawal syndrome?

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Brain Remodelling

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery/

This is your thread to journal your progress and ask questions. Have a read , and then come back with any questions you may have.

Welcome to S.A.

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Soul, I agree that you seem like a lovely soul filled with love and life!  I have a couple more questions for you, sorry if they have been asked already but we are trying to get a complete picture. Why did the doctor prescribe prozac?  How did you feel when taking 10mg. how did 20mg affect you, worse, better or no different? 

Why did the doctor prescribe lexapro and was it in addition to prozac or to replace prozac? 

 

"my stupid doctor told me i became more depressed and bipolar so she tried prescribing more and more of these deadly pills"

Did you take any of the other pills?  

 

You obviously had an adverse reaction to lexapro, and it was good that you realised this and stopped.  We now have to work out if it is worth reinstating a tiny dose of prozac. It is a very good sign that you are getting good windows. The windows will get longer and the waves less intense. You are very young and your brain is still developing, that is on your side and you will get better.  Are your parents/guardians  looking at your topic with you? We would love it if they were involved too . :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Administrator

Hi Soul. I'm glad so you found us.

 

I was 17 when I went on an antidepressant, had a manic reaction, was diagnosed as bipolar and spent the next 30 years severely polydrugged. I am off all meds now and slowly healing. I was misdiagnosed. 

 

It's very unlikely that you are bipolar, either. A lot of psychiatrists will say that only someone who is already bipolar can have a manic reaction to an antidepressant, but this is not the case at all - anyone can have an adverse reaction to a medication. 

 

There's a really great book that explains this:

 

 
 
And this website has a lot of articles that may be of interest:
 

 

Please give us more information about how you're feeling. The issue of reinstatement has come up, and this is something to carefully consider after you've had time to read through the links that AliG provided.

 

 

 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Soul.  Welcome to SA.  I can only echo what the others have already said about the criminality of putting someone your age on these meds.  There are so many good tools to cope with issues that don't involve medication that you will hopefully learn through this process and be so much better armed to deal with what life will throw in your direction.  The silver lining of all this is that you will know for the rest of your life the power of psych meds and you won't be poisoned by them.

 

While the possibility of reinstatement has been raised, and you should consider that depending on how you feel, I would probably opt in your case to continue with your current approach of working your way through this difficult time.  You seem to be seeing enough windows and waves that you are getting significant relief from the worst of times.  If it is truly unbearable then reinstatement can possibly alleviate that suffering, however, given your youth and likely ability to bounce back more quickly, I would be optimistic that things would get better relatively soon even if you do nothing. 

 

At the end of the day it is your call, in conjunction with your parents/guardians, but you should be the ones to take control of this process.  As you've already seen, leaving it to the doctors (other than a few that understand about withdrawal) is going to result in more harm before improvement.

 

We are all here for you.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Hi Soul.  I won't call you dark because you seem just the opposite - a light filled soul .   :)    I too , am sorry for what you have been through at such a young age. It shouldn't happen , but unfortunately as you have already experienced, doctors are quick to administer the drugs but do not know much about them and how they should be tapered off very slowly.

As you have been off the Lexapro for 8 wks, there is a chance that a reinstatement of a small amount of medication could help . However, you said you had a reaction to the Lexapro, so maybe a reinstatement of Prozac would be more beneficial . That remains to be seen. If you can give us more information , it will be helpful .

Can you tell us some more about your symptoms, from the Lexapro. What were you experiencing ?  If we can learn a little more , it will help us to advise you on the next step. 

Thank you for adding your drug history signature.  This link explains reinstatement :

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

In the meantime , here are some links that will help to explain what is happening in withdrawal.

What is withdrawal syndrome?

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Brain Remodelling

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery/

This is your thread to journal your progress and ask questions. Have a read , and then come back with any questions you may have.

Welcome to S.A.

Ali

Thanks for the kindness and articles. After reading the brain remodeling article, it kind of scared me. Now i have more understanding about what is happening to my poor brain. "The brain adjusts its chemistry and structure to try to return to homeostasis, or biochemical and functional balance. It tries to restabilize the chemistry.So the brain, which wants to re-establish normal signaling and function, adapts to the higher level of serotonin between neurons. It does this by removing serotonin receptors, so that the signal is reduced and changed to something closer to normal. It also decreases the amount of serotonin it produces overall. To do that, genes have to be turned on and off; new proteins have to be made; whole cascades of chemical reactions have to be changed, which means turning on and off OTHER genes; cells are destroyed, new cells are made; in other words, a complex physiologic remodeling takes place. This takes place over time. The brain does not grow and change rapidly. This is a vast oversimplification of the amount of adaptation that takes place in the brain when we change its normal chemistry, but that's the principle .SO--it's not a matter of just getting the drug out of your system and moving on. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. It's a matter of, as I describe it, having to grow a new brain. I believe this growing-a-new-brain happens throughout the taper process if the taper is slow enough. (If it's too fast, then there's not a lot of time for actually rebalancing things, and basically the brain is just pedaling fast trying to keep us alive.) It also continues to happen, probably for longer than the symptoms actually last, throughout the time of recovery after we are completely off the drug, which is why recovery takes so long.With multiple drugs and a history of drug changes and cold turkeys, all of this becomes even more complicated. And if a person is started on these kinds of drugs at an early age before the brain has ever completely established normal mature functioning--well, it can't be good. Anyways to answer your questions : on prozac i felt a liitle off like an achy almost burning feeling. i stayed on for 2 months increasing the dose on the second month to 20 mg. then on the 3rd month we tried 20 mg of lexapro. with lexapro i believe thats when my emotions, mind, and body were feeling worse. from recommendation by my doctor i went cold turkey from everything. thats when things got truly insane. extreme anger(even though im never), sadness, fear, depersonalization, mania, feeling very hot, and a feeling of being so empty/numb its inhuman. Also we're seeing my doctor tomorrow so any thoughts on what to take and what doses  would be great to have. I just want to feel good again, to be happy and live life with freedom.  :(

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Try not to be scared, Soul. You were not long on the drugs. About reinstatement I am not the one to say. Hopefully others will chime in.

Take care.

Amy

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Hi Soul, I agree that you seem like a lovely soul filled with love and life!  I have a couple more questions for you, sorry if they have been asked already but we are trying to get a complete picture. Why did the doctor prescribe prozac?  How did you feel when taking 10mg. how did 20mg affect you, worse, better or no different? 

Why did the doctor prescribe lexapro and was it in addition to prozac or to replace prozac? 

 

"my stupid doctor told me i became more depressed and bipolar so she tried prescribing more and more of these deadly pills"

Did you take any of the other pills?  

 

You obviously had an adverse reaction to lexapro, and it was good that you realised this and stopped.  We now have to work out if it is worth reinstating a tiny dose of prozac. It is a very good sign that you are getting good windows. The windows will get longer and the waves less intense. You are very young and your brain is still developing, that is on your side and you will get better.  Are your parents/guardians  looking at your topic with you? We would love it if they were involved too . :)

Thank you for helping. My doctor prescribed prozac because she thought i was depressed which i honestly wasnt. and i felt off while starting the prozac. mild achy and burning feelings. 20mg felt no different(might be wrong it was a while ago). She then prescribed it because we thought prozac was of no use. but in the end they both caused a huge catastrophe inside me. i took no other pills luckily.  i hope this info helped :)   

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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I truly appreciate all of the help from you wonderful people. i just learned im seeing my doctor tomorrow. i feel like with the info i wrote above and whats in my signature, you guys can hopefully recommend what to take, how long, and what doses. i dont know if tapering is still an option since its been almost 60 days of cold turkey. with that said i completly understand the complexity of this. no one can know exactly what  will help, but with you wisdom im sure i can survive these times of hell. with more optimism :D , Soul  

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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  • Administrator

Hi, Soul.

 

What are your symptoms? If you can give a good account of how you feel, that will help us help you.

 

Reinstatement should only be if you're really struggling, so letting us know how you feel is very important. 

 

Do you have any suicidal thoughts? Are you able to concentrate in school? How is your sleep? 

 

 

 

 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you for answering the many questions we are asking Soul. We need to be very thorough to know if reinstating is the right thing for you. You obviously had an adverse reaction to lexapro, or the combination of the 2 drugs. Many people take a while to recover from such severe reactions and in that case reinstating can complicate things.

 

If it is withdrawal then reinstating a tiny dose of  1 or 2 mg of prozac might ease the withdrawal and then you can taper off that small dose by using liquid. If you try reinstating  you will be better to use liquid, tell your doctor that is what you want to do. You are not looking for a therapeutic dose for depression, you are looking at a tiny dose to stop withdrawal.  If that makes you feel worse then stop immediately.

 

Please don't be scared by this comment in Rhi's explanation of brain remodelling  "And if a person is started on these kinds of drugs at an early age before the brain has ever completely established normal mature functioning--well, it can't be good. "

 

This is talking about people who were prescribed drugs at a very young age and took them for years. You took them for a very short time and your brain is still developing. You will recover from this, with or without reinstating. If you choose not to reinstate you will have windows and waves like you are experiencing now, the windows will get longer and the waves will lessen in intensity. It is all part of the healing process. Be careful how you talk to the doctor, showing emotion and getting upset or angry will make him think you need more drugs because you are unstable.  Try to be calm, and tell them what it is you want to do.

 

Most of us are feeling that you might be better to hang in there if you can cope with how you are now. If you have improved at all it is a good thing, and if you manage to sleep, go to school and concentrate that is really good and shows that you are recovering well. 

 

You are intelligent, articulate and thoughtful, and have your whole life head of you, this will be just a memory when you are pursuing your chosen career. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Wow thanks so much for that! i guess what i should do is continue going through this dark and painful journey, unless it becomes way too much. then we can consider the extremely low doses of liquid prozac also i showed this to my dad to see what he thought, and after he finished reading it he was crying!!! in all my 15 years ive never seen him cry and i truly dont know what to say. he was crying while he said "im so sorry you have to go through all this suffering. my anger issues, your unstable mom, and now this insanity? your such a great person, your so positive and empathetic, you of all people dont deserve this." he continued bawling. im speechless, i really am. im probably going to comfort him now. 

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Soul,

 

I have 3 daughters I love more than life itself.

 

Based solely on your posts here I'd be proud to have you as a 4th child.

 

You will succeed at whatever you choose in life.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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So sorry DarkSoul.  You were smart and didn't keep trying others.  Your reaction sounds a lot like mine.  Stay away from stress and heal.  It sounds like your dad is on board and sympathetic to this so that is very important.  See my signature for my story.....I went insane on 20mg P and then I tried Lex and got even worse like you,  I tried SSRIs for only 2 months.

Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus).

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Soul,

 

I have 3 daughters I love more than life itself.

 

Based solely on your posts here I'd be proud to have you as a 4th.

 

You will succeed at whatever you choose in life.

 

Best,

 

Andy

  your too kind, you really are. with that kind of thinking you must be a truly fantastic father. id probably love to be your daughter too... if only i was a girl. i love your positivity, im very happy you can be a part of my life, soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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So sorry DarkSoul.  You were smart and didn't keep trying others.  Your reaction sounds a lot like mine.  Stay away from stress and heal.  It sounds like your dad is on board and sympathetic to this so that is very important.  See my signature for my story.....I went insane on 20mg P and then I tried Lex and got even worse like you,  I tried SSRIs for only 2 months.

im so sorry to hear that. our reactions do sound similar! also i agree stay away from stress and never lose hope. good luck, these are some of the hardest times we will probably ever go through, its like living hell. stay strong. soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

Soul,

I have 3 daughters I love more than life itself.

Based solely on your posts here I'd be proud to have you as a 4th.

You will succeed at whatever you choose in life.

Best,

Andy

 

  your too kind, you really are. with that kind of thinking you must be a truly fantastic father. id probably love to be your daughter too... if only i was a girl. i love your positivity, im very happy you can be a part of my life, soul

Oops. Fixed my earlier post.

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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:D dont worry about it

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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Hi soul,

In my opinion, MammaP put together the most logical approach with rational.

Just a reminder, don't take any quick action out of your visit to the doctor tomorrow, before double check here.

 

You got all the great quality to be a survivor of this battle.

 

Also, it is highly recommended to have a daily journal noting down all the symptoms, changes of them, patterns within each day and over time etc. this can be very helpful in many ways.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Administrator

Welcome, DarkSoul.

 

It sounds like 20mg Prozac and 20mg Lexapro both caused an adverse reaction. Lexapro is a very, very strong drug, it's several times stronger than Prozac.

 

Your nervous system has had a big upset. Doctors often think they can fix this with strong drugs, but that usually makes it worse. Please explain to your parents that your nervous system is now very sensitive and probably will react badly to strenuous drug treatment, no matter what the doctor believes. (Doctors think they know a lot about antidepressants, but they actually know very little.)

 

If the doctor insists that you take an antidepressant, you might want to try perhaps 1mg or 2mg Prozac to settle any withdrawal symptoms. Prozac comes in a liquid so you can take this small amount. Also, it is the only antidepressant approved for adolescents.

 

Proposing that you start low with liquid Prozac would be a reasonable compromise.

 

Hopefully, this will help your nervous system settle down. After a while, you'd taper off it by tiny amounts.

 

If the doctor recommends any drug other than liquid Prozac, get a complete explanation of the drug first and then say "I want to talk about this with my mom and dad before taking another drug."

 

Frequently, doctors think they can repair damage from antidepressants with other drugs called antipsychotics, such as Seroquel or Zyprexa. These are very dangerous drugs.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Welcome, DarkSoul.

 

It sounds like 20mg Prozac and 20mg Lexapro both caused an adverse reaction. Lexapro is a very, very strong drug, it's several times stronger than Prozac.

 

Your nervous system has had a big upset. Doctors often think they can fix this with strong drugs, but that usually makes it worse. Please explain to your parents that your nervous system is now very sensitive and probably will react badly to strenuous drug treatment, no matter what the doctor believes. (Doctors think they know a lot about antidepressants, but they actually know very little.)

 

If the doctor insists that you take an antidepressant, you might want to try perhaps 1mg or 2mg Prozac to settle any withdrawal symptoms. Prozac comes in a liquid so you can take this small amount. Also, it is the only antidepressant approved for adolescents.

 

Proposing that you start low with liquid Prozac would be a reasonable compromise.

 

Hopefully, this will help your nervous system settle down. After a while, you'd taper off it by tiny amounts.

 

If the doctor recommends any drug other than liquid Prozac, get a complete explanation of the drug first and then say "I want to talk about this with my mom and dad before taking another drug."

 

Frequently, doctors think they can repair damage from antidepressants with other drugs called antipsychotics, such as Seroquel or Zyprexa. These are very dangerous drugs.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

 

Gotcha alto

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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i have so many questions for you guys right now. is it normal to feel an extremely numb feeling? will it go away? will everything bad go away? i feel the same numb feeling now for 60 days! that along with so many other awful things that im worried wont go away. do you guys have any supplement recommendations? any exercise plans? other tools to help? if the symptoms finally dissipate, will it hit you all at once? like a million orgasms in one kind of a feeling? where people look at you and think " why is that person squealing and moaning for no reason???   " did it hit you guys like that? will my personality forever be lost? or will that randomly hit me too? ugh, im so nervous right now. im so grateful for all your help, i truly am, but am i missing something?... is this craziness permanent?  a nervous soul.   

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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It is not permanent, Soul. You will recover. Do everything you can to calm your CNS down, maybe by the help from tour parents. Try to eat good, sleep, go for a walk and maybe try some mindful meditation. Do you know about mindfulness? There are surely some meditations on youtube or Spotify. Here is one, if you have Spotify (Mark Williams is a recognized mindfulness practioner):

 

https://open.spotify.com/track/2ANryAfp8dzwYe7KDqQ8Re

 

Feeling of numbness is very common. It will go away. You will be fine, maybe not tomorrow, but in time. It's hard to say how long it will take, it's individual. But you know, you were'nt on the drugs for long, so it might not take so long. The recovery will come in waves and windows. The windows get longer and longer until you are ok again.

 

Are you able to go to school?

Take care.

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Like you, I had a reaction.

It comes back gradually. Each window becomes less difficult and longer. Then you get the odd one that throws you a loop and feels like you're moving backwards, then you have clarity again.

 

What you describe is normal after a reaction. You will be fine but it might take some time to heal completely.

 

It helps to keep a note of your symptoms. During the bad times your brain can trick you into feeling like it's constantly like that and you haven't had any let-up. In those times it's good to look back and realise that there has been progress.

 

(I would also like to add how appalled I am that you are having to go through this. It is not right.)

March 2003 took two sartroline tablets after a traumatic incident and had a reaction so stopped.  I am not sure now whether what I had for the next 18 months was WD after the reaction or the emotional fallout from the traumatic event.  Some of it was very similar to WD in hindsight.  

 

February 2014 - Took five pristiq (50mg) tablets and three Ativan and had a severe reaction.
Extreme withdrawal symptoms for three weeks compounded by visit to naturopath -

One week later took 900mg St John's Wort x 3 daily for six weeks - more negative effects and suspected serotonin syndrome - before tapering over three weeks. Last tablet late May 2014.

Waves and windows cycle of recovery with longer windows and manageable waves.

May 2015 - already in a mild wave, following a usual pattern, I took clarithromicin and amoxicillin for two weeks for a sinus infection which I also seem to have had quite a reaction to.

 

February 2016 - Feeling much better.  I still have waves and windows but they are manageable.  I'm largely enjoying life again.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This will pass Soul, it isn't permanent. Your brain is a remarkable organ that will heal with time and patience. The numbness will wear off and all the other symptoms will wear off too. No it won't be sudden and you won't be screaming and writhing around!  Have you ever had flu? It feels like you are going to die but your body does what it is supposed to do and heals itself. Gradually you will feel better, then one day you will realise that you actually smiled that day, a real smile that was spontaneous and not forced.  Maybe you will cry, I remember the first time I cried in years, I was emotionally numb with the drugs. As I was tapering I cried at something, then cried happy tears because I was crying! It had been so long without feeling any emotion.  You may get what we call neuro emotions, which are heightened emotions, so if you feel sad, it will be devastating sadness but if you feel happy it will be ecstatic. This is part of the healing process and NOT BI POLAR! 

Many people here find magnesium and fish oil good for a sensitive nervous system. Magnesium helps to keep things calm and fish oil is proven to be good for the brain, lots of people find it helps with brain fog and brain zaps. Be very careful with supplements, many naturopaths will have you take lots of very expensive supplements that will leave you skint and make things worse while your wallet (or your dad's) empties! If you are tempted to try any do a search here, or ask in this thread if it will be helpful, most of us have tried lots of supplements, my cupboard is full of the things and I need to clear them out!  Exercise is important but walking or swimming is better than a 20 mile jog or a full workout. Increase it steadily but don't push through like people would normally, wind down before you get exhausted .  

 

Here are some links for you.

 

You might want to read through this one before you see the doctor today...

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2746-what-should-i-expect-from-my-doctor-about-withdrawal-symptoms/?view=findpost&p=106638&hl=%2Bwhat+%2Bdoctors+%2Bknow

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

If you are up to reading and researching there are many many helpful topics in the symptoms and self care forum. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to DarkSoul: Hi everyone, this is my story

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