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Lobotomized: Lexahell took my soul


Lobotomized

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Hi everyone, my name is Kynan. I am suffering from an immediate adverse reaction to only two 10mg tablets of lexapro taken over a two day period.  I felt a strong effect only 15 minutes after taking the first one.  I could feel waves and waves of seratonin crashing through my brain. It came in cycles but some parts of the day, the feeling was so strong it was almost unbearable.  

 

As I was desperate, after years of suffering anxiety and I heard it took time for the brain to adapt, I decided to wait for the first pill to wear off and take another one the next night.  That night I wasn't able to sleep at all.  My mind was racing a million miles an hour and for the next  6-10 days I was unable to sleep at all.  The following weeks were pure hell. I feel as if I was void of any good feeling and left with only pain, terror, and doom.  

 

Its been 2 months now and feel as if almost everything that I ever was has been somehow erased.  All of my memories feel distant, like they never happened to me. It feels as if my ties to the past were severed and because of it I'm left with no future.  I have anhedonia and emotional anesthesia. I'm taking krill oil and a multivitamin everyday along with eating an extremely healthy diet and getting exercise. I have periods in the day where I'm able accept my situation and take steps to  promote progress and healing, but other times where I feel hopeless, desperate,  and I think about death.

Edited by scallywag
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The best part of this horrific situation is that you only took two pills. I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope when you feel better you report this to appropriate place. I am still on too many drugs, but in 40 years I can't count how many drugs I stopped after one or two doses. Thank God you stopped when you did. You will heal. You will heal. Stay the course and lean on the people here. I am so sorry, but you will get better, I just know it.

 

Graces

amitriptyline from 1980-2002, along wi/ intermittent, infrequent use of benzos over 2 decades

2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg

2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg.

2015-present  tapered from 300 mg. trileptal to 103 mg.;  12.74 valium,  4 mg. remeron

 

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Oh lobotomized, I feel so horrible for you!  It brings tears to my eyes to imagine how you have been harmed this way by two pills.  I think that folks like you are the canaries in the coal mine.  You are not the only one who has been harmed so immediately. Laura1981: Stopped venlafaxine (Effexor) after 5 days on... comes to mind.  It's as if you folks were on the drugs for a long time, and then came off cold turkey, all in the span of a few days!

 

There is no way of knowing how long it will take to recover.  I know Laura is still in it but I think each person is different so don't take that to mean you will be affected as long as her.  

 

The important thing is to not become reactive and start trying all kinds of things to fix yourself, because adding more stuff into the equation when you are so destabilized can make it worse.   We recommend Omega-3 Fish Oil and Magnesium as being relatively safe, though each should be started separate from the other and in small quantities to be sure you know you can tolerate them and if not, which one is problematic. A doctor will be tempted to prescribe a psych med for you, but don't do it - it would make things much worse. Clearly your system can not handle SSRIs and likely any other drug that manipulates neurotransmitter levels.

 

If you are feeling unsafe with yourself, please seek friends, family, a local suicide prevention/hot line, even the ER, since we want for you to be safe and such feelings are transient.  We are not a real-time support site so are not prepared to help with such crises.

 

Please do spend time in our Symptoms and self-care forum.  Particularly, Neuro Emotions and 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

 

Keep posting here, because in one way or another, you are not alone and there is someone here who can empathize with your experience (well, all of us can, really).

 

Can you let us know if you had taken anything else in close proximity to taking Lexapro, recreational drugs or energy drinks or anything that could have helped create a Perfect Storm situation?  We can only hope to learn from these experiences.  Are you on any other medications?

 

It wouldn't hurt if you could fill out your signature block with your history so that if you post elsewhere it will show up under your posts and give context.  Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature

 

Thank you.  I hope that we see reports that your symptoms are resolving very soon :-)

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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i can completely relate, it feels like our very souls have been snatched from our bodies and we are constantly suffering. I'm so sorry to hear it's happened. I had a terrible reaction to lexapro too and once I went cold turkey, it's like your in an empty hell. Life was like constant bliss compared to this huh. Exercising and eating well will help immensely.I wish you lots of luck. stay strong, it will always get better. Life will be beautiful again, just never lose hope, Soul

My life has always been filled with pure love, until antidepressants took it all from me. The laughter, pleasure, and positivity life had once given me seems like a distant dream. Even the darkest souls dont deserve this degree of hell. Hopefully one day i can recover and feel the euphoria i once, constantly had felt. I wish everyone who is suffering, as much support and positivity possible. Once we get through this, its only bliss from there. Soul info: 10 mg prozac for 1 month, then 20 mg the second month, then lexapro (20mg) for only 1 week. Only about 2 and a half months total time spent on them. Then i went cold turkey as advised by my doctor. All this together evoked a huge catastrophe in my mind and body. Any help is much appreciated.

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i can completely relate, it feels like our very souls have been snatched from our bodies and we are constantly suffering. I'm so sorry to hear it's happened. I had a terrible reaction to lexapro too and once I went cold turkey, it's like your in an empty hell. Life was like constant bliss compared to this huh. Exercising and eating well will help immensely.I wish you lots of luck. stay strong, it will always get better. Life will be beautiful again, just never lose hope, Soul

 

Beautifully said, DS - healing will happen :-)

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Hi Lobotimized,

I totally relate to your experience.

I had a bad reaction to Zoloft after only taking it for 3 days.

I too experienced existential crisis and suicidal ideation.

Please be assured that you will heal.

It may take a long time or it may not.

It is obvious that you are very sensitive to SSRI's like myself.

My advice to you is not to add any other drugs to the mix.

Be carefulwith multivitamins and fish oil too.

After the reaction I still have sensitivity to supplements.

Sometimes supplements can emphasize the WDS symptoms.

What people need to understand is when you have a bad reaction to SSRI's you get all the WDS symptoms and worse.

It is like you have been on the drugs for years.

You will heal but be very careful about supplements etc.

Allow your nervous system to heal.

If a GP tries to persuade you to try another drug to counteract the reaction from Lexapro, run as fast as you can.

I would have healed by now had I not been prrsuaded to take Seroquel and Mirtazapine.

Rest assured that you will get better. You have to be strong and push forward even when the effort seems futile.

You will experience alot of setbacks but you will also have periods of"normality ".

This is a part of the healing process.

I wish you all the best, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • 4 weeks later...

i feel you, but mine was bit different. I got injected by antipsychotic just this feb. 2016 for the reason that ive gone manic. after that, i feel no emotions. I was diagnozed bipolar and they put me into resperidone and lithium . I continue taking it for 3 months. Then i decide to stop taking it since the problem is not the mood disorder anymore but my anhedonia. Ive been anhedonic for 4 months. Seriously i dont knw if i can take it for years since our country is not that rich so unemployment here is increasing. I'm college now and i stop schooling bcos of this horrific condition. Anyway, im an artist. I love painting portrait but now i dont have the urge to do my passion. :((

4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar.

Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated  I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition.

March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs.

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anyway, im from philippines. sorry for my bad english, not my mothertongue though.

4 yrs. ago I had depression but after 12 months my mood lifted without using any anti-depressants then this Feb. 2016 I've gone manic and was diagnosed having bipolar.

Feb. 2016- got hospitalized and injected by haloperidol after several hours of being sedated  I felt no emotions and had problems in cognition.

March - May 2016-put into risperidone 2mg and lithium 450mg for 3 months then I stop taking it because i realized i had no problem with elevated moods anymore but i am suffering now with emotional anesthesia due to this psychiatric drugs.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Does anyone here know anything about Devoid's recovery? I've been in the exact same situation for more than 4 months now.  His story was on Paxil Progress but it's gone now.  It was so uplifting to here he recovered but it would mean so much to me if anyone had information about his recovery.  I wish there was a way to contact him.

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  • 1 month later...

Hello Lobotomized, how are you doing now? I also have an adverse reaction.

Started Fluoxetine 40mg In 2010

Switched to citalopram 2011.Fluoxetine made me very drowsy.

Came off citalopram 2014 over 2 weeks tapering as advised by GP. Mild WD symptoms, brain zaps.

Almost 2 years med free, happy and less anxiety.

June 2016 start 20mg citalopram for anxiety, experince akathisa, intrusive harming thoughts, hallucinations, hypermania, negative ruminations, insomnia, no appetite, dioreah, racing thoughts/mind chatter.

Droped to 10mg for 1 week after 10 days on 20mg, then 1 week at 15mg by alternating doses then 1 week at 20mg before dropping to 10mg again for 1 week then 5 days at 5mg. Quick taper due to reaction.

Started .5mg lorozepam/ 2.5mg diazepam every other day from week 2 on cit sometimes daily for about 2 weeks stopped CT as was put on 25mg quetiapine.

Stopped cit 01/8/16. Stopped quetiapine 3/8/16

Taking fish oil

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  • 1 year later...

Hello, I have an adverse reaction too, did any of you find away through. It's been 3 months since my reaction and I still haven't felt like me again. Is there any hope? 

 

Edited by ChessieCat

Citlopram 10g - 7 days August 2017 - sever adverse reaction

 

Mirtazapine 3.75g x 5, 5 x 15g 5 days September 

 

trazadone - 150g  since 01/11/17

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Lobotomized: Lexahell took my soul
On 11/5/2017 at 2:54 PM, Johawaii said:

Hello, I have an adverse reaction too, did any of you find away through. It's been 3 months since my reaction and I still haven't felt like me again. Is there any hope? 

 

 

Johawaii, I've also had an adverse reaction. But in my case I stayed on the drug through many reactions. There aren't a lot of people on this forum for adverse reactions, but I have seen some that have healed. And I think one of the posters above, Hopefull, said they have healed. 

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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