TNTD: Wellbutrin: cold turkey due to debilitating side effect

[tntd]

Well I finally fell into a dirty window. It hasn't been as good as previous windows and the wave I had before it was worse than any I've had in quite awhile. I'm experiencing what appears to be interdose withdrawal from my benzo. 

 

I did get out and take a walk downtown with my hubby today so that was good. I am grateful for the time I was able to get out of the house as agoraphobia is one of my main symptoms. 

 

I hope others are finding their healing going well.

 

Hugs and healing

[tntd]

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I actually didn't have many adrenaline surges and the anxiety didn't start ramping up until later. It ramped up pretty high before I took my meds this morning though. 

 

I feel like my agoraphobia has gotten out of hand. I can be feeling not to anxious and so I think it would be nice to go somewhere and whoosh there goes the anxiety. Sometimes even at the thought of just taking my furbaby out to the restroom. That is today so far. I'm trying to distract but the anxiety doesn't seem to want to leave me be today. I wish I could go back to bed and hide from it but that never works, in fact it makes it worse. 

 

Deep breathing, maybe some more meditation. I do think that my upcoming medical procedure and my plan to start tapering around the same time period aren't helping with the anxiety. My DBT class has us doing homework on creating long term happines and part of it is coping ahead. So I had to choose a problem and plan it out and then I'm supposed to use imagery and imagine doing it. I chose the tapering as my problem but I have to say I really don't want to practice the imagery part of it. I will definitly need to meditate after doing that!! 

 

Hugs and healing to all.

[wantrelief]

I really empathize with how you are feeling.  I have barely left the house this weekend so really understand about not getting out.  

 

I am wondering if it is creating more anxiety to think about doing both the procedure and start your tapering at the same time, if you could postpone the tapering until you see how you feel after your procedure?  

[tntd]

Hi Wantrelief,

 

Thank you for the suggestion, it is a good one.

 

I agree that both of them are creating anxiety for me. I have set the tapering to start two nights after the procedure. I am going to make the final decision based on how I'm feeling emotionally, and physically, at that time though.

 

I'm hoping that I won't have to postpone it because the interdose withdrawal symptoms are getting worse and my anxiety about tapering isn't much better. My pdoc is hoping that by playing around with tapering I will get over my phobia of it. Nothing like a little previous withdrawal trauma to cause a person to develop a phobia of it. That and the currently withdrawal I'm going through that has added to that experience. I'm so afraid that it is just going to make my current situation that much worse. The problem is I don't know what is interdose withdrawal and what is buproprion withdrawal. So many of the symptoms are the same. 

 

I really appreciate your concern, it means a lot that you are thinking of me.

 

Hugs and healing

[tntd]

I had a clear window this morning. The anxiety was playing around the edges so I still knew it was there but it wasn't intrusive and I was able to choose to do some things without it causing anxiety. I brushed my dog, who has needed it for weeks, and then I vacuumed up all that hair. My daughter has been trying to keep up with the vacuuming but she works and has a boyfriend and now she is back in school so she doesn't have a lot of time to help me keep the house clean. It's a good thing my husband doesn't care, he is more worried about me than the state of the house. He also pitches in when he has time. Right now he does more around the house than I do.

 

The anxiety is starting to increase again so I'm just trying to enjoy the lower levels of anxiety while I can. I am grateful for the short repreive I had. 

 

I have been trialing the headspace mindfullness website that someone on the forum recommended and I am planning on starting the free CBT course as well. I could use a refresher course as it has been 14 years since I went through it the first time. After that I'm thinking about looking for an ACT course or doing the MBSR course. Anything that can help during but especially after meds. With everything I have learned I really don't ever want to have to take a psych drug again. 

 

Hugs and healing

[tntd]

My window continued though with increased anxiety here and there on the 30th and 31st. I have been waking up with almost no anxiety and no adrenaline surges. The anxiety does start to increase through the morning but when I get up it seems to go down. At least it did on the 30th, not on the 31st. Yesterday I had anxiety most of the day. 

 

I had my DBT group yesterday. It is always nice to get together with the people in the group. Everyone is so accepting, probably because we all have problems. Sometimes it's really hard to get there because of the withdrawal symptoms but so far I have only missed one meeting because of them. Mostly because my husband would take off work to make sure I got there. 

 

I also had a meeting with my psychologist. He mostly just listens and tells me to try to use my coping skills and if they aren't working to distract. He also tells me to allow myself to not do anything if that is what I need and to not feel guilty about it. I hear a lot of about no judging. He listens compassionately mostly. I don't think he will be able to do much therapy with me until I am through withdrawal. Considering I still have two drugs to taper that could be years. 

 

I'm feeling really down today with surges of anxiety. I'm really tired too. My GI is acting up, which isn't unusual I just don't comment on it much. I'm super tired and it seems like my neck and shoulders are always achy. I've been having a lot of muscle twitching recently. Not sure if that could be from my withdrawal or if it's from one of the meds I'm still taking. I've also been feeling muscle weakness. The aches come and go, often at sites of previous injuries but not always. The electrical zapping sensations are mostly gone and the headaches come and go but are mostly gone as well. I can't decide if my cognitive issues are getting worse or staying the same. I know that I often can't remember anything about a conversation I just had. 

 

I don't usually list most of my symptoms but I'm trying to list more as I found that when I went through my thread to see how things have been going I mostly just talk about my anxiety and depression and it's hard to gauge how the other symptoms have been changing over time. 

 

Hugs and healing

[scallywag]

T:  Have you considered using some form of the Symptoms Checklist? Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list

[tntd]

Hi Scallywag, 

 

It's good to hear from you. I've been keeping an eye on your taper and I'm so glad that things have been going relatively well for you. 

 

I keep pulling the list up but I keep forgeting to use it. I do rate my symptoms in my paper journal but I again usually only rate the emotional symptoms. You are right though that I should use it. Maybe if I printed it out instead of using it online I would be better at it. 

 

I also find the symptoms intensity varies throughout the day but the spreadsheet doesn't give space this variance. I will have to be creative with how I rate them. 

 

Thanks for the suggestion Scallywag. 

 

Hugs and healing

[scallywag]

There's a spreadsheet and a Word file that can be more helpful for tracking and/or rating across a month. Links are in the first post.

[tntd]

Thanks Scallywag

[tntd]

I used Glenmullens withdrawal checklist last night. I have put it with my journal so I will fill it out nightly. I've decided to give a number to the day instead of showing the ups and downs. I have a lot of those written in my medication and symptoms journal. There were so many symptoms on the list. I had some I hadn't even thought of as being symptoms.

 

Today has been another bad day so far. It is my second day dealing with both feeling down and having anxiety. I'm not used to feeling down much, it has not been a predominant symptom just something that visits occasionally. I'm hoping it doesn't last. I was put on the buproprion for "depression" so of course it has me a little concerned that it is not a withdrawal symptom but a re-emergence. Is there any way to know? 

 

I have walked my dog everyday this week so that is positive. I have been distracting myself with research on benzo tapering. Not sure that helps much with the anxiety. It's crazy, first it was the paralzying anxiety keeping me from doing much, now I have a great deal of apathy mixed in with the anxiety so still not doing much. I'm feeling very alone.   I am grateful for the people here, especially the ones who interact with me. It helps so much to chat with others who understand.

 

Hugs and healing

[scallywag]

I've found the checklist a useful tool. I hope you will too.

 

I found some more reading material for you.

Is it withdrawal or relapse or somthing-else?

[tntd]

Thanks Scallywag,

 

I will read through it.

 

I'm having a really bad day. Even thinking about leaving the saftey and comfort of the chair in front of my computer makes me really anxious. I was supposed to get my hair cut today but I don't think that is going to happen. How do we schedule appointments when we don't know if we are going to slam into a wall that keeps us trapped in the house? Came out of a two day decent window and fell into a huge hole that I didn't see coming. I'm not sure why my waves seem to be getting worse instead of better, and my windows have been smaller, so the thread is definitly timely.

 

Hugs and healing

[scallywag]

About appointments -- for a service like getting your haircut, find a sympathetic stylist who is okay with drop-ins or with you calling for a same-day appointment.

[tntd]

That's a good idea Scallywag. I'll have to look into that when I feel a little better. I doubt my current sylist will as she just had a baby and that doesn't lend itself to spontenaity like that. 

[tntd]

Had another really bad day. Not quite as bad as yesterday so that is good. In some ways not quite as good. I'm still hanging out in my jammies with no desire to change, sigh. 

 

I was able to watch some shows with my family. That's how they try to do things with me since I can't get out do things like we normally would. I'm just glad they want to hang out with me still since I'm not really that fun to be around. They give me lots of hugs and that is always helpful. 

 

The anxiety won't let go of me today. It started this morning and has been going strong ever since. It's really exhausting. 

 

I have to admit it was good to read some threads of other people who have CT'd. Even though it has taken them a long time to recover I read similar thoughts and experiences and validation is always a plus. It was interesting to see the different timelines even for people who CT. Doesn't help with knowing how long it will take for me to get through it but is good information. I'm still worried that starting to taper my benzo will cause the CT withdrawal to take longer. Of course, I'm not sure that I'm not doing better with my CT withdrawal than I think because the benzo is causing problems. So I suppose slowly tapering it could actually help heal my CNS more quickly. Too many questions and no answers. I'm sure I'm over analyzing things again. Seems to be my curse in life

 

Hugs and healing

[tntd]

I am back in a window, a dirty window but it is nice not to be feeling horrible. I woke up feeling pretty decent this morning. I was able to get breakfast for everyone and even do a little laundry. Still having feelings of anxiety when I think about doing some things. Is that still withdrawal? Can you not be feeling anxious but then at the thought of doing an activity there is a surge of anxiety? In previous windows I have not had that problem which is why I'm unsure if it's withdrawal or secondary fear.

 

I have been on the more tired side today. My husband and I have been trying out headspace.com. Today is day nine of our ten day trial and it's the first time that I've almost fallen asleep while doing it. So far we really like the app. I can't remember which thread I found it on but I really appreciate all the helpful websites that have been posted in various threads. 

 

Wishing everyone a good day.

 

Hugs and healing

[downtongirl]

Great news T.  I have that surge of anxiety to when I think of something stressful....I honestly don't know if that is withdrawal or genuine anxiety....I have a preexisting anxiety disorder which is why I got on anxiety meds to begin with.  

 

Do share....what is headspace?

[tntd]

Hi dg,

 

Thanks, today has been up and down with the anxiety but not horrible. 

 

I have preexisting anxiety disorder as well. Actually panic disorder. I get these lovely cycling panic attacks. One stops and another starts within minutes. I had them under control for years, and with no meds. Now with the withdrawal I can't figure out what is me and what is withdrawal. I suppose at this point according to a number of the moderators it is pretty much withdrawal. They say if it is still there 18 months out then it may be you. I've been working on and with my coping skills but really I'm so tired because of the anxiety I sometimes just don't feel like it!!

 

Headspace is a mindfullness meditation program that I found somewhere on SA. I don't remember which thread. I checked it out and you get 10 of meditation free to see if you like it. I think it has actually helped me a bit. I almost fell asleep while I was doing it yesterday. Here is the link: https://www.headspace.com/  Today is our 10th day and we are considering buying a year. 

 

Here is another mindfullness meditation I found on SA. I haven't tried it yet but it looks interesting. http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/

 

Hope you are having a good day.

[downtongirl]

Thanks T....I think we are twins with the panic disorder....hugs to you...thanks for the links....I know you said you get 10 free meditations but if it costs money after that my husband will have issues with it because we have spent so much money over the past 2 years with specialist that of course don't accept insurance so it is out of pocket expenses.

 

I hope your day is improving.

 

Mine are weird now....one day pretty good the next crappy...on the crappy days sometimes they are filled with more anxiety and sometimes they are filled with more sadness...today is a sad day.

 

It is so frustrating because there are times when I feel like I am on the verge of breaking free and being totally "normal" or free of the withdrawal...so close it feels like I can reach out my hand and touch it but then that feeling ends.

[tntd]

Panic sisters!!

 

Yeah, the headspace is ten free but then it's $8 a month. I'm fortunate that my husband loves this stuff so he does it with me and we decide together if we want to buy it or not. We haven't decided yet. We do have a coupon so we will have to decide before the coupon expires on Thursday. 

 

I love the way you describe the feeling of being just about ready to break free. I have felt that too. It's so disinheartining when it slops away and another wave starts.

 

I've been having really close windows and waves recently too. It's really weird because I was having some nice long windows for awhile. Then the third month came along and everything went crazy. Of course it could have been my reducing the Buspar or my husband going on a business trip that made things get all topsy turvy so it's hard to blame it on being three months. I've just seen that three months, six months, and nine months can be rough. 

 

So you are about one month off of Prozac now. One month closer to getting through it. That's what I try to do. I'm three months closer to getting through it. Of course we don't know how long it is going to take so we don't even know what that means but it has to be good because we are closer to getting through it

 

I'm not sure what will happen to my windows and waves if I start to taper the clonazepam. I'm nervous about it but it's not really helping anyway. I guess my concern is that maybe it's still helping a little bit and if I start to taper things will get horrible. Of course it could be causing the problems too so I'm in a no win situation.

 

I'm ready to be done with it now, I'm sure every one of us on this forum is. I'm so glad we have each other to talk to and for support. 

[downtongirl]

T., are you still experiencing the daily anxiety episodes in between your klonopin dosages?  If not you may want to hold the K until you are finished with the prozac withdrawal.

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

I'm still experienceing anxiety in between doses. In fact the anxiety seems to be getting worse over time. I wake up to anxiety and it pretty much is with me all day despite taking K. 

 

My original plan was to hold everything until I got through the buproprion withdrawal and at first things started to get better over time but then between 2 and 3 months the anxiety and other symptoms started to get worse. Some days taking the K will reduce the symptoms for a little while and other days it seems to do absolutely nothing. I feel like I live in a constant state of anxiety, it's really hard. 

 

I really want to hold because I don't want to be experiencing both at the same time but I'm not sure that all of my symptoms are from the buproprion withdrawal anymore. With interdose withdrawal some or a lot of them could be withdrawal symptoms from the K. 

 

I really want to be done with this and be able to live my life again. I'm terrified of tapering the K but I don't know what else to do at this point.

 

Thanks so much for your concern DG, I appreciate that you are thinking about me and what might be best for me with this. 

 

Hugs and healing

[downtongirl]

You are welcome....it is a tricky spot you are in but I feel confident you have what it takes to make it to the other side.  

 

Are any of your withdrawal symptoms better than when you first started having them?

[tntd]

Yes, I don't have headaches like I did and my GI problems are intermittent now instead of continual. I don't ache as much. The cortisol surges aren't as bad in the morning but the anxiety starts while I'm still in bed and just gets worse througout the day.

 

I had a whole list and most of the symptoms are gone, except the psychological ones and occasional aches and GI problems so overall I am better but the psychological stuff is worse, anxiety/depression/moods swings/crying spells, especially the agoraphobia. I'm still really tired a lot too but I think that's because of the psychological stuff. Anxiety is exhausting, as I'm sure you know. 

 

Today has been up and down again. While I was at my DBT group I started out really anxious and then I was doing pretty good. By the end of it my anxiety was pretty much gone, but it came back about 1/2 an hour later. 

 

I'm really wondering if I have developed anxiety disorder again and am experiencing secondary gains from feeling anxious all the time. I'm not sure though because the anxiety usually comes from intrusive thoughts. So I suppose that would still be withdrawal. I'm really tired of the all day and night anxiety. I'm hoping the taper will be smooth and not increase my anxiety. The anticipatory anxiety for the taper is starting to get to me too. For all I know that's why the anxiety has gotten so much worse.

 

Hugs and healing

[bubble]

Hello there,

 

what I worry about you is that you worry so much, over think and over analyse. It seems to me that secondary fear plays a major part in your symptoms. Anxiety is not an illness. It's a lack of adequate coping strategies. And this is something that we can work on developing.

 

I remember that in one of your previous posts you wrote how you distract by reading about symptoms. That is actually the opposite of distracting since we are focused on symptoms and that can intensify them. When I'm doing very bad and feel very scared reading and posting here brings me a relief. But some people notice that it can intensify their symptoms. Waiting for the symptoms to resolve is very hard and frustrating process because it take so long with symptoms coming and going.  

 

I will copy what Jancarol wrote for another member. Among other things she nicely explains what distracting means. When it comes to your drug situation  imagining different scenarios and outcomes isn't really helpful. Again, this in itself would cause anyone to be anxious. Pick one strategy and stick with it while trying to distract from the symptoms and changing the channel. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/846-change-the-channel-dealing-with-cognitive-symptoms/

 

Be patient with yourself.

 

Your brain is a reactive wild baby animal:

 

It's changing, and scared, and inclined to panic and bite.  

 

Be gentle to your brain during this time.  Some people avoid bright lights, loud noises, crowded places - stay in a nice, quiet house and choose calming activities.  Distraction is a good way to get through these side effects, as sometimes we need to try different things.  Some people dance, some lie in a dark room with an eye pillow, some take warm epsom salts baths or walks through parklands.  Some like to play silly video games - other people find them disturbing, but can watch old episodes of Lassie or Happy Days.  Find things to do which distract you from your symptoms - because the best way through them is to wait, and not do anything.

 

Of course, there are things you can do.  I am a firm believer in a toolkit, a practice - something which grounds and centers you through the difficult times.  I love my yoga, and am thrilled to finally be able to go back to karate class. (I had to take 20 months off due to injury that wouldn't heal due to endocrine problems!)  But when I couldn't go to karate, I kept trying things, trying to find a practice which would soothe me.

 

One practice which I thoroughly enjoyed was Chi Gung and Tai Chi.  Here, you can try 7 minutes of it (no excuses!  It's just 7 minutes!)

 

We have a whole section of the website devoted to Non Drug Techniques for Coping with Emotional Symptoms (and they help with physical symptoms, too)

 

I also recommend Dr. Claire Weekes - Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System to help you learn to accept and survive your symptoms.

 

Also - it may be important for you to hear about Neuro-emotion - this is the way withdrawal amplifies a normal, natural emotion into something that feels huge and overwhelming.  It has a seed of truth in it - the hurt, the anger - but because of the withdrawal chemicals and sensitivity, it's like looking at the emotion under an electron microscope - it becomes so large and sticky that it almost bears no resemblance to the actual emotion.  Or to you.  It's chemical emotion.

 

Take this time of waiting to learn new things about how to be patient and gentle with yourself.  Treat that baby animal (yourself!) with love and respect and give it time to grow up and learn its way in the world again without the chemical support that it had.

 

​

​

[tntd]

Hi Bubble,

 

 

Thanks for the support. I am and have always been an over analyzer. I like to know what I'm getting into before I jump. It has not always caused anxiety for me.

 

 

I went through a 14 week CBT course many years ago and was able to go off of all my medications because I learned how to change my negative thoughts around, I was off of all medications for anxiety for 12 years. Then we moved and for some reason all of my coping skills did not work. I ended up in the ER with cycling panic attacks and the nurse was really surprised that I couldn't get them under control because he could see that I was using my coping skills. 

 

 

I actually have not been distracting by looking at symptoms. In fact I haven't looked at symptoms except in regards to a homework assignment for DBT since I first got here. Anything on here that makes me feel more anxious I avoid. I try to find threads that are informative on how to deal with my symptoms. I have practiced the 7 min Qi Gong and I found Headspace on the meditation thread and my husband and I bought it and have been using it. I find the neuro-sculpting fascinating and have been listening to videos on it recently. I also read, watch TV, journal in a book as well as online here, I weed, and I do various other things. 

 

 

I do tend to let my fears out here more. I "write out loud" so to speak to see if anyone else who happens by is having the same types of problems. 

 

 

I have copied and pasted and printed a lot of positive information from this site that I read over periodically to remind myself that it is not my own anxiety that is causing these problems that I am experiencing. In fact I was reading some of those earlier today. 

 

 

One thing that I find frustrating though is even though I use the coping skills I have, when I am in a wave they only work while I am using them and then the anxiety is back full force. I have read that there are others that also struggle getting their coping skills to work while in withdrawal and there are those that get them to work pretty well. 

 

 

I've read the changing the channel thread and I have been using it, especially in the mornings when I take my dog for a walk. I have a friend who I text with regularly to help distract me and she really helps me change the channel. 

 

 

I am still having anticipatory anxiety about the benzo taper. I am worried because I am still in withdrawal from buproprion. I have been working on changing the way I think about it though it is not easy. Funny enough in my DBT class they actually teach something called coping ahead where you think about what the different possible outcomes for something will be and how you will deal with them. They encouraged me to do this with my upcoming taper as a way of coping with the anticipatory anxiety. Mostly my way of dealing with it is to just not think about it but that doesn't always work either. I talk about it on here because I'm hoping for reassurance and information about others who may have tapered while still in withdrawal from another drug.

 

 

Thank you for posting what JanCarol had to say. I think the baby animal is absolutely adorable. I have read through all the threads and found Dr. Claire Weeks to be quite informative. I took notes on a video I found where she describes how to get through a panic/anxiety attack. I've been working hard on acceptance and being non-judgmental with my feelings and myself. I have read through a lot of the thread for non-drug ways to cope and have learned about neuro emotions. Despite using so many of the wonderful things I have found on this forum I still struggle with anxiety and I still worry that I am developing secondary fears due to the withdrawal. After both you and wellness told me that I was fearing the fear I actually started working on not doing that as much and I have been doing better with not escalating the withdrawal neuro anxiety because you were right. I have been doing a lot better with it recently. 

 

 

I actually have been having a pretty good day today. Not a window but a small wave that is more easily handled. The emotions have been up and down all day tossing back and forth between feeling really down and feeling anxious. So I watched TV with my daughter and I worked on my bills, I actually enjoying doing the bills. I also have meditated twice today and I took my dog for a walk this morning. I'm about to head off and make dinner. 

 

 

Thanks again for your concern and continued support,

 

 

Hugs and healing

 

 

[tntd]

After really struggling with the choice I decided to move my clonazepam to a three doses a day schedule due to the interdose withdrawal I was experiencing. I felt that it would be helpful when I begin my taper of the clonazepam too. Hopefully eliminating the interdose withdrawal will make the taper easier.

 

So this morning is the second day of moving the doses around. I woke up earlier than usual and then started having lots of really vivid dreams and a couple of nightmares all accompanied by adrenaline surges and anxiety. I stayed in bed and meditated for awhile and that seemed to help keep the anxiety down for awhile but once I got up it ramped right on up too. I've had symptoms that I haven't had in awhile and the anxiety is really bad. I put some magnesium in a glass of water to help with that. I have also been doing bills and entering my dosing schedule into my smart phone so I don't miss a dose or wait too long to take it. 

 

I'm not sure how much the symptoms are due to the changing of my clonazepam doses possibly activating buproprion withdrawal symptoms, if it's due to the change in dosing schedule causing clonazepam withdrawal symptoms, or if it is just coincidence.  I suppose it doesn't matter, I just know it's not fun.

 

My husband took the week off of work and he is really taking care of me today. I am hoping that I feel better at some point this week and maybe we can get out and do something. 

 

Yesterday I had an appointment with my psychologist. He, and my psychiatrist, diagnosed me with GAD. Of course since anxiety, rumination, worry and the like are all part of withdrawal it would seem more likely that I don't have GAD but withdrawal! I told him that it didn't make sense because when I'm in a window I don't have anxiety, rumination, worry, any of that; or it reduces to almost nothing. He said that people with GAD can have moments when they don't have anxiety. Before I started having problems with tolerance from my clonazepam I had a six day window and most of it was sans anxiety. I got out and did a bunch of things. It's very frustrating when they don't understand, or listen. He was glad that I am attending DBT and that I have the coping skills from CBT. I also told him that I am planning on taking a couple of free courses online to help as well. I'm not sure I will be able to though as my cognitive skills are really suffering.

 

After my appointment we went downtown and walked around the Riverwalk. It was a gorgeous day outside and I wasn't feeling too bad. The walk was really nice. I did start to get a little antsy and want to get home though. That dang agoraphobia started kicking in. The anxiety was a lower at first, probably from the lovely walk. It was up and down the rest of the night. No matter what I was doing to try to distract it it kept peeking in at me. 

 

I keep trying to do this one day at a time but sometimes it's hard not to look into the future and wonder how long this will take. I am hopeful that things will get better sooner rather than later and that as I start to taper down on my clonazepam it will actually relieve some of the anxiety symptoms that tolerance is causing. I have seen that for some people it does so I will believe that I will be one of those people and maybe that  will bring that future to me. I have a friend who says think what you want and you will have it. She is disabled and poor as a church mouse but tries to keep a positive atitutde. She really helps me a lot as we text most days. I don't know what I would do without her right now. For that matter I don't know what I would do without the people on this site who interact with me. It all really helps.

 

Hugs and healing to all.

[tntd]

I'm having a really bad day. 

 

The anxiety won't let up no matter what type of distraction I try. Breathing, watching TV with my husband, taking our dog for a walk, trying to just let it go, acceptance. I also am nauseas, have a headache, am really tired and now I'm having crying spells. I've also been having hot flashes and chills. The last two are completely new symptoms. The hot flashes often times come with waves of anxiety.

 

This is my fourth day of moving my meds by one hour. However, at this point in my cycle last month I was also having a very bad wave so I don't want to blame it on the movement of the meds because there is no way to know.

 

I looked back through my med and symptoms journal and the past month or so I have had less windows, more waves, and more intense waves. I feel like I'm going backwards. I guess my question is, is this still CT symptoms or is it benzo tolerance symptoms? 

 

I feel like I should be getting better not worse when it comes to the CT. 

 

I feel so frustrated.

[AliG]

Why are you taking .5mg Clonazepam in the morning?

[tntd]

I started taking it in the morning because the buproprion I was on was causing severe anxiety when I would take it in the morning. Trembling, stuttering, terror really. The clonazepam in the morning made that side effect completely disappear and I could function, until the side effect turned into akathisia. 

 

Now I get interdose withdrawal even taking it twice a day and I am working with Wellness in the benzo forum to change my 1.25mg dose into three equal doses a day so I don't get the rebound anxiety a couple of hours before my dose is due.

[downtongirl]

Hey T....sorry you are not feeling well...do you think by any chance the buspar is making things worse?  I know it is an anxiety medicine but from my research it is reported as affecting certain serotonin receptors and dopamine....I tried it and it feel like it made my anxiety worse...now mind you it may be helping you but I wonder if you have gotten too sensitive to serotonin and the effect it is having on the dopamine may be too stimulating for you?

 

Also....are you taking any supplements?  I know some advocate for very few if not any at all but I have found that fish oil, magnesium, vitamin b6, inositol, and taurine are calming for me.

 

Exactly how much and what times of the day are you taking the K?

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

It's good to hear from you. 

 

I don't think it's the Buspar. I actually take most of that at night when I go to bed and it helps me sleep. I'm sorry it didn't work for you but it's not that uncommon. It seems it's a really hit and miss medication. It sadly doesn't work as well for me as it did before it went generic or I would not be in the predicament I am in. Thanks for the information on it though. I did know that it works on serotonin but not the dopamine.

 

I do take supplements. I have been taking most of them for years but quit taking the ones that could have been stimulating, like b-complex.

 

We have inositol, my daughter takes it, but most sugar alcohols cause gasto upset for me so I am loth to try it. We also have some taurine but I'm kind of scared to try it too. I've heard it can go either way on you. I've been reading Petunia's story on it and it appears she just quit taking it recently. I also read the thread on it. How long have you been taking it? When do you take it? How much do you take?

 

I take my clonazepam currently twice a day 10:30am and pm. I am in the process of slowly moving them to three times a day as I have been experiencing rebound anxiety, due to tolerance, between doses. Wellness is working with me on slowly moving a portion of each so that I will be taking equal doses eight hours apart. 

 

I'm wondering if some of my increased symptoms are due to the moving of the meds. I've only moved them by one hour though. Can't imagine what that will mean for tapering.

 

I hope you are feeling well today. 

 

Thanks for stoping in and trying to help, I really appreciate it.

 

Hugs and healing to you.

[tntd]

Had a yucky day. Started out nice. Didn't really have any adrenaline surges this morning but the anxiety did start before I got up and then it just intensified and I'm still feeling it. I've been having agoraphobia really badly and I know my doctor is going to tell me that I need to get out so that it doesn't get worse. He has told me that in the past. I've been trying. I walk my dog most mornings but past that I just can't get outside. 

 

I was going to go to the library with my husband today but when it came time to go my anxiety went through the roof, I started crying and shaking. I didn't end up going. I feel so frustrated, and trapped. I'm not sure what to do. Should I try to push through or should I not? I've read other posts where they say it's just the withdrawal and once you get through the withdrawal the symptom will go away so don't worry about trying to make yourself go out. I don't know what my doctor will say about that. I don't know that I care what he will say. I am more interested in what people who have gone through it have to say about it.

 

The anxiety and agoraphobia have been getting worse over the past month and a half. Almost no windows anymore and worse waves. It's frustrating not knowing if my CT withdrawal is getting worse or if it is tolerance to clonazepam causing it. If I knew which it was I would know whether I should hold or start tapering the clonazepam. Since I don't I will be starting to taper the clonazepam after I move my doses to eight hours apart.

 

Hugs and healing

[scallywag]

t - I wish I knew something to tell you that would ease the anxiety. I don't   Thinking of you.

[tntd]

Thanks Scallywag,

 

Your comment means a lot to me.

 

I hope your cut is going well.

 

Hugs and healing