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What Loved ones might see


Patience

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I read this on the "other" site when I was first going through withdrawal. At that time, I shared it with my husband and he felt it was pretty accurate. I think it helped him to have patience with me (though I sure tested it a lot).

 

The thread was posted by Kerry in April of 2007 and titled, "What you might see..."

 

What you might see if your friend or family member has a severe adverse reaction when trying to stop taking SSRI/SNRI antidepressants…

 

 

1.Your loved one begins to feel sick. Physical symptoms such as flu-like aches, dizziness, nightmares, heart palpitations, headaches, brain zaps, etc. appear. Depending on the half-life of the specific drug, this can occur even within a day or two.

 

2.He/she might express shame and embarrassment or anger for having ever taken the drug. They might talk about feeling like “a druggie.”

 

3.Anxiety and confusion set in along with an inability to focus. Your loved one starts to act and look a little lost or muddled. They might worry that they’re “crazy.” They worry they’re going to hurt you by making you “go through this” with them. You can see an inability to connect thought patterns or thoughts with emotions as the abstract thinking process is compromised.

 

4.Their dreams become more vivid and often disturbing if they’re able to sleep at all. Insomnia can get brutal at this point.

 

5.Aggression, irritability, homicidal and suicidal thoughts and actions can pop out of nowhere – and you’ll be stunned. Personality and attitude changes become very apparent to you because you’ve been close with this person, but co-workers or casual friends might not see anything wrong.

 

6.Gaps in memory begin – very often memories that were formed while taking the SSRI or during withdrawal are the ones that seem to go. You might bring up the movie you saw with this person the day before and be told you've gone out of your mind! Emotions reappear in sudden, intense bursts and rollercoaster the person between uncontrollable crying fits and anger. You might seem them sob for hours then turn and want to rip someone’s head off. Preferably whoever prescribed the SSRI in the first place. ;-)

 

7.Your loved one suddenly feels the need to make big decisions, life-altering changes, keep moving - this symptom is called akathisia. The “fight or flight” mechanism has completely malfunctioned.

 

8.The person feels depersonalized and disconnected from him/herself or reality. You might hear he/she "feels nothing" as emotional responses are flattened. They might say they feel like they’re “floating outside” their heads. They usually still have an awareness of something wrong at this point.

 

9.Your loved one might eliminate input from those nearest (including you), often stressing independence and competency to an unreasonable, paranoid level. He or she now appears selfish and arrogant a lot of the time.

 

10.Manic and psychotic episodes can come and go at random intervals, triggered in part due to severe insomnia. Perceptions of people, timeframes and events can become skewed and completely inaccurate.

 

11.The person’s connection to the consequences of his or her own actions is severed. Conscience and compassion disappear. That awareness of "something wrong" may disappear, too.

 

12.The person vilifies and pushes away the people they care for the most, almost always including a spouse or significant other first. The person in withdrawal might start to believe they never loved their partner, shifts blame to them for events that may or may not have happened, or fails to recall positive, defining events in the relationship. Duration or quality of the relationship seems to have little bearing on this response.

 

13.Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.

 

14.Your formerly calm loved one can display unusual impulsive behaviors such as promiscuity, impulsive spending, drinking – even if they never did these things before. The five senses shift into overdrive.

 

15.The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant.

 

16.Waves of rebound depression, anxiety, etc. hit. If a health care provider is unaware that withdrawal symptoms mimic bi-polar disorder and other mental illnesses, a new diagnosis can result in further medication, trapping the person in an endless cycle of psychotropic drugs.

 

17.Physical symptoms subside gradually. The person often doesn’t have a full awareness, sometimes for months or even years at this point, that many of their behaviors and decisions are a continued result of withdrawal. They believe their thoughts, memories, feelings and actions are absolutely correct, and no one can tell them otherwise.

 

18.People begin to experience "good days" or "good weeks" only to have a bad episode hit weeks later out of the blue. Sudden downswings in emotions have been repeatedly noted at the six- and nine-month marks following the last dose. This, too, shall pass.

 

19.At 1-3 years out, folks are reporting sudden intense neurological twitches and muscles spasms. Very scary, but they seem to self-correct.

 

20.Final Note: Every brain is chemically individual. The severity, order of symptoms and duration of withdrawal vary from person to person. Some experience a handful of symptoms. Others experience every symptom imaginable. Others experience very few or almost none. Cold turkey or abrupt withdrawal drastically increases these symptoms.

1989 to 2008: Prozac then Paxil then Celexa.

Numerous attempts to quit.

Then I got off the SSRI poop-out merry-go-round.

11-12 week taper.

 

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear

If you're going through hell, keep walking

The only way out is through

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Wow, I can relate to so many parts of this, it's scary.

 

This in particular is something I experience a lot:

 

"15.The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant."

 

I keep going back in time to when I was happiest in my life and trying to hold onto that memory and recreate it.

Off Lexapro since 3rd November 2011.

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  • 1 month later...

Yep, that's me too. I'm going to show it to my family.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Barbarannamated

WOW. Excellent list. Although I would differentiate the 'flattening' in #8 from the flattening/blunting of emotion caused by ADs. It is a distinctly different and worse feeling for me. Some might say I am isolating, but that, too, is different than the isolating of depression.

I feel a horrible inability to connect with or attach to anyone in a healthy way. The use of the word 'autistic' is striking. I have described my husband like that. He is also on several psych meds for depression, sleep and ADD but has not acknowledged any problem. He is content livng in isolation. I am 'the crazy one' going this alone (with the support here, of course!).

I skipped over 1-3 for some strange reason and right into the DP/DR, bursts of emotion (mostly anger that I feel was supressed by drug over many years), paranoia, detachment, AKATHISIA.

 

I must revisit this list and discussion. It is validating and disturbing at the same time.

Barb in the Bubble

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hate to be the contrarian, but my experience didn't look much this list. Sure many of those symptoms did affect me, but many did not and many of my most pronounced problems make no appearance on the list at all. And the chronology doesn't line up with my timeline too well either.

 

Shows the diversity.

 

Alex

 

ps - actually, looking back over it, it seems, if anything, a better general description of my progressive dysfunction over the years I took psych meds.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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Perhaps the Klonopin somehow stopped a lot of it happening for you, Alex?

 

Yes, I think that's a good point.

 

I definitely experienced #'s 1, 3, 4, 7, 18.

 

Very significant to my experience were hypersensitivity to environmental stressors, supplements, foods, drugs. GI probs of all sorts -- anorexia, relfux, constipation, vomiting, etc. Inflammation and prolonged healing from injury. Sex organ dysfunction. Libido irregularity. I dunno. A lot of the stuff in the middle, impulsivity and autistic aversion to touch particularly, were potent realities during my years taking the Drugs that got better pretty quickly once I got off, even before I reintroduced benzos.

 

Not to take away from the value anyone else gets from the post.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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I know what you mean about the aversion to touch and autsistic stuff - on high-dose Lexapro I had those issues.

Off Lexapro since 3rd November 2011.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have noticed alooottt of these reactions while significant other is on meds... scary that it could even get worse if/when i can get him off

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference"

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Barbarannamated

I made a few changes/additions. Input welcome!

 

WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE AS A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER ATTEMPTS TO DISCONTINUE COMMON SELECTIVE SEROTONIN AND/OR NOREPINEPHRINE REUPTAKE INHIBITOR DRUGS

SSRIS: ZOLOFT (SERTRALINE), PAXIL (PAROXETINE), CELEXA (CITALOPRAM), PROZAC (FLUOXETINE)

SNRIS: EFFEXOR (VENLAFAXINE), PRISTIQ (DESVENLAFAXINE), CYMBALTA (DULOXETINE)

 

*REPORTED TO OCCUR EVEN WITH PHYSICIAN-SUPERVISED SLOW TAPER OVER SEVERAL MONTHS OR YEARS*

 

 

1. Acute physical symptoms may appear after 1 missed dose (with short half-life drugs) or any later time:

Brain zaps, dizziness, nausea. These are commonly known and fairly easy to identify when they occur shortly after the missed dose.

 

2. Other vague physical reactions that may appear acutely or at later time: flu-like aches, hot flashes, nausea, vomiting, headaches/migraine.

NOTE: These are often attributed to other conditions: anxiety, hormones/menopause (more often in females for obvious reasons) and treated with anti-anxiety drugs or SS/NRIs (commonly used to treat Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder/PMDD, pain syndromes, Generalized Anxiety Disorder)

 

3. Your loved one starts to act and seem a little ‘off/disconnected/distant’. You might hear that he/she ‘feels blah,

*If you have taken antihistamines, decongestants or have allergies, you may have experienced this ‘floaty’ feeling of ‘being in a bubble’. This cause-and-effect is recognized in those cases. It is extremely disconcerting when the cause is not obvious. There is usually an awareness that something is wrong at this point.

4. The person may begin to withdraw or avoid social interaction because they just don’t feel like themselves and may be concerned that others will notice. They might seek out new friends or activities or spend time alone if unaware that this is common when withdrawing from the drug. The perceptual process has been slowly but significantly altered by medications over years, creating an ‘artificial norm’ not only for themselves, but also for those who know them. As this ‘artificial norm’ is deconstructed, anxiety, confusion, and a feeling of ‘unreality’ are common. Perceptions of people, timeframes and events can become skewed and completely inaccurate.

5. Emotions reappear in sudden, intense bursts. Anger may surface over events that happened over years on medications. It is well-documented and accepted that serotonergic agents ‘mask or blunt emotion’.

*This can be especially detrimental to someone who had a natural or learned tendency to suppress emotion (often in order to avoid conflict). It is very likely this tendency to bury emotion and avoid conflict that led to feelings of depression, pain, anxiety in the first place. *

6. Your formerly calm loved one can display unusual impulsive behaviors such as promiscuity, impulsive spending, drinking – even if they never did these things before. The five senses shift into overdrive.

*THIS PHENOMENON HAS OFTEN BEEN MISDIAGNOSED AS AN UNMASKING OF BIPOLAR DISORDER AT INITIATION OF SSRIs AND SNRIs.*

7. The person pushes away the people they care for the most, almost always including a spouse or significant other first. The person in withdrawal might start to believe they never loved their partner, shifts blame to them for events that may or may not have happened, or fails to recall positive, defining events in the relationship. Duration or quality of the relationship seems to have little bearing on this response.

8. The “fight or flight” mechanism of the autonomic nervous system has completely malfunctioned. Sudden, 4-5am wakenings are common. This is hypothetically an exaggerated ‘cortisol surge’ and accompanied by severe anxiety, panic, racing pulse. Insomnia can be brutal. Dreams become more vivid and often disturbing if they’re able to sleep at all.

9. Your loved one suddenly feels the need to make big decisions, life-altering changes. There is a need to relieve internal restlessness and to keep moving (akathisia). Excessive driving has been reported.

10. Your loved one might eliminate input from those nearest (including you), often stressing independence and competency to an unreasonable, paranoid level. He or she now appears selfish and arrogant a lot of the time.

11. The person’s connection to the consequences of his or her own actions is severed. Conscience and compassion disappear. That awareness of "something wrong" may disappear, too.

12. Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.

13. The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant.

14. Waves of rebound depression, anxiety, etc. hit. If a health care provider is unaware that withdrawal symptoms mimic bi-polar disorder and other mental illnesses, a new diagnosis can result in further medication, trapping the person in an endless cycle of psychotropic drugs.

15. Physical symptoms subside gradually. The person often doesn’t have a full awareness, sometimes for months or even years at this point, that many of their behaviors and decisions are a continued result of withdrawal. They believe their thoughts, memories, feelings and actions are absolutely correct, and no one can tell them otherwise.

16. People begin to experience "good days" or "good weeks" only to have a bad episode hit weeks later out of the blue. Sudden downswings in emotions have been repeatedly noted at the six- and nine-month marks following the last dose. This, too, shall pass.

17. At 1-3 years out, folks are reporting sudden intense neurological twitches and muscles spasms. Very scary, but they seem to self-correct.

18. Final Note: Every person is biochemically individual. The severity, order of symptoms and duration of withdrawal vary from person to person. Some experience a handful of symptoms. Others experience every symptom imaginable. Others experience very few or almost none. Cold turkey or abrupt withdrawal drastically increases these symptoms.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Administrator

Hello, Lost. Slow tapering can help reduce these withdrawal symptoms.

 

Please start a topic about your situation with more detail in the Introductions forum.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Barbarannamated

Also forgot to include that the behavior and changes were not part of what was originally treated.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 4 months later...
meistersinger

I read this on the "other" site when I was first going through withdrawal. At that time, I shared it with my husband and he felt it was pretty accurate. I think it helped him to have patience with me (though I sure tested it a lot).

 

The thread was posted by Kerry in April of 2007 and titled, "What you might see..."

 

What you might see if your friend or family member has a severe adverse reaction when trying to stop taking SSRI/SNRI antidepressants…

 

 

1.Your loved one begins to feel sick. Physical symptoms such as flu-like aches, dizziness, nightmares, heart palpitations, headaches, brain zaps, etc. appear. Depending on the half-life of the specific drug, this can occur even within a day or two.

 

2.He/she might express shame and embarrassment or anger for having ever taken the drug. They might talk about feeling like “a druggie.”

 

3.Anxiety and confusion set in along with an inability to focus. Your loved one starts to act and look a little lost or muddled. They might worry that they’re “crazy.” They worry they’re going to hurt you by making you “go through this” with them. You can see an inability to connect thought patterns or thoughts with emotions as the abstract thinking process is compromised.

 

4.Their dreams become more vivid and often disturbing if they’re able to sleep at all. Insomnia can get brutal at this point.

 

5.Aggression, irritability, homicidal and suicidal thoughts and actions can pop out of nowhere – and you’ll be stunned. Personality and attitude changes become very apparent to you because you’ve been close with this person, but co-workers or casual friends might not see anything wrong.

 

6.Gaps in memory begin – very often memories that were formed while taking the SSRI or during withdrawal are the ones that seem to go. You might bring up the movie you saw with this person the day before and be told you've gone out of your mind! Emotions reappear in sudden, intense bursts and rollercoaster the person between uncontrollable crying fits and anger. You might seem them sob for hours then turn and want to rip someone’s head off. Preferably whoever prescribed the SSRI in the first place. ;-)

 

7.Your loved one suddenly feels the need to make big decisions, life-altering changes, keep moving - this symptom is called akathisia. The “fight or flight” mechanism has completely malfunctioned.

 

8.The person feels depersonalized and disconnected from him/herself or reality. You might hear he/she "feels nothing" as emotional responses are flattened. They might say they feel like they’re “floating outside” their heads. They usually still have an awareness of something wrong at this point.

 

9.Your loved one might eliminate input from those nearest (including you), often stressing independence and competency to an unreasonable, paranoid level. He or she now appears selfish and arrogant a lot of the time.

 

10.Manic and psychotic episodes can come and go at random intervals, triggered in part due to severe insomnia. Perceptions of people, timeframes and events can become skewed and completely inaccurate.

 

11.The person’s connection to the consequences of his or her own actions is severed. Conscience and compassion disappear. That awareness of "something wrong" may disappear, too.

 

12.The person vilifies and pushes away the people they care for the most, almost always including a spouse or significant other first. The person in withdrawal might start to believe they never loved their partner, shifts blame to them for events that may or may not have happened, or fails to recall positive, defining events in the relationship. Duration or quality of the relationship seems to have little bearing on this response.

 

13.Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.

 

14.Your formerly calm loved one can display unusual impulsive behaviors such as promiscuity, impulsive spending, drinking – even if they never did these things before. The five senses shift into overdrive.

 

15.The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant.

 

16.Waves of rebound depression, anxiety, etc. hit. If a health care provider is unaware that withdrawal symptoms mimic bi-polar disorder and other mental illnesses, a new diagnosis can result in further medication, trapping the person in an endless cycle of psychotropic drugs.

 

17.Physical symptoms subside gradually. The person often doesn’t have a full awareness, sometimes for months or even years at this point, that many of their behaviors and decisions are a continued result of withdrawal. They believe their thoughts, memories, feelings and actions are absolutely correct, and no one can tell them otherwise.

 

18.People begin to experience "good days" or "good weeks" only to have a bad episode hit weeks later out of the blue. Sudden downswings in emotions have been repeatedly noted at the six- and nine-month marks following the last dose. This, too, shall pass.

 

19.At 1-3 years out, folks are reporting sudden intense neurological twitches and muscles spasms. Very scary, but they seem to self-correct.

 

20.Final Note: Every brain is chemically individual. The severity, order of symptoms and duration of withdrawal vary from person to person. Some experience a handful of symptoms. Others experience every symptom imaginable. Others experience very few or almost none. Cold turkey or abrupt withdrawal drastically increases these symptoms.

I'd show this to my brothers, since I'm currently going through this, except I'd be told I am full of s***.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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meistersinger

Wow, I can relate to so many parts of this, it's scary.

 

This in particular is something I experience a lot:

 

"15.The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant."

 

I keep going back in time to when I was happiest in my life and trying to hold onto that memory and recreate it.

 

The biggest problem I have is that I can't ever remember a time ever being truely happy. For some reason, I got it into my mind that happiness=pride=arrogance which was to be discouraged at all costs.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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  • 1 month later...

Perhaps the Klonopin somehow stopped a lot of it happening for you, Alex?

 

Very astute observation, Phil! I had very little withdrawal symptoms coming off of A/D's. It was not until I came off the Klonopin did all of the aforementioned hit.

My Intro
2000-Effexor and Klonopin
April 2011- C/T Adderall, lithium, Seroquel, Lunesta; Pristiq and Klonopin cut by 1/2 due to med-induced "rapid cycling"
May 2011- Pristiq/Lexapro bridge/taper
June, 2011- K cut to 0.5 mg (doctor)
July 18, 2011 - Lexapro done
October 2011- K taper started
Jan, 2012- Off K, Remeron started -bad idea
March 2012- Horrific Tardive Akathisa/TD (Dx: TA versus withdrawal akathisia secondary to K w/d)
May 2012- Reinstatement of K
Current Psych Meds: Klonopin 2 mg + Propanolol 15 mg and titrating up
As of June 2013: TA gone or suppressed - struggling with tolerance to benzos - beta blocker helping

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Barbarannamated

 

Perhaps the Klonopin somehow stopped a lot of it happening for you, Alex?

 

Very astute observation, Phil! I had very little withdrawal symptoms coming off of A/D's. It was not until I came off the Klonopin did all of the aforementioned hit.

 

I think all of us on a series of polydrug cocktails over many years may have one that "breaks" the fall. I also got off of Pristiq over about 8 months (100mg to 50mg to 25 to 0 very sloppily) without extreme distress. As I read others' descriptions of cortisol mornings, insomnia, anxiety, DP/DR, paranoia, I realize what was going on. I kept moving, drove myself across the country and partway back.

It's now, a year out, that the crash has hit - mentally, physically, spiritually. All of the lifestuff I never addressed over 15+ years is staring me in the face.

The drug that still does help is Vyvanse, a dopaminergic indicated for ADHD. It allows me to see the tunnel, not necessarily light at the end, but at least that the tunnel exists. It's not an ideal, but at this point, is it realistic to hope to be drug-free after all of the insult-by-drug? Rhetorical question... I know that serotoninergics never helped and did damage to neuroendocrine system.

Forgive my ramblings. I feel beat up in every way and have only myself to pick me back up.

This is not to minimize the suffering of anyone on fewer drugs.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Perhaps the Klonopin somehow stopped a lot of it happening for you, Alex?

 

Very astute observation, Phil! I had very little withdrawal symptoms coming off of A/D's. It was not until I came off the Klonopin did all of the aforementioned hit.

 

I think all of us on a series of polydrug cocktails over many years may have one that "breaks" the fall. I also got off of Pristiq over about 8 months (100mg to 50mg to 25 to 0 very sloppily) without extreme distress. As I read others' descriptions of cortisol mornings, insomnia, anxiety, DP/DR, paranoia, I realize what was going on. I kept moving, drove myself across the country and partway back.

It's now, a year out, that the crash has hit - mentally, physically, spiritually. All of the lifestuff I never addressed over 15+ years is staring me in the face.

The drug that still does help is Vyvanse, a dopaminergic indicated for ADHD. It allows me to see the tunnel, not necessarily light at the end, but at least that the tunnel exists. It's not an ideal, but at this point, is it realistic to hope to be drug-free after all of the insult-by-drug? Rhetorical question... I know that serotoninergics never helped and did damage to neuroendocrine system.

Forgive my ramblings. I feel beat up in every way and have only myself to pick me back up.

This is not to minimize the suffering of anyone on fewer drugs.

 

Dear Barb,

 

I am so sorry you are a fellow sufferer. I am glad that Vyvanse is giving you some relief. It is no longer my quest to be drug-free. I am searching for quality of life. As I have discussed before with the TA/TD, Klonopin has offered me relief. I know that it is a horrible drug to be on and can only hope that I can ride out its own set of problems until my CNS heals (hopefully). Many hugs to you, Annej

My Intro
2000-Effexor and Klonopin
April 2011- C/T Adderall, lithium, Seroquel, Lunesta; Pristiq and Klonopin cut by 1/2 due to med-induced "rapid cycling"
May 2011- Pristiq/Lexapro bridge/taper
June, 2011- K cut to 0.5 mg (doctor)
July 18, 2011 - Lexapro done
October 2011- K taper started
Jan, 2012- Off K, Remeron started -bad idea
March 2012- Horrific Tardive Akathisa/TD (Dx: TA versus withdrawal akathisia secondary to K w/d)
May 2012- Reinstatement of K
Current Psych Meds: Klonopin 2 mg + Propanolol 15 mg and titrating up
As of June 2013: TA gone or suppressed - struggling with tolerance to benzos - beta blocker helping

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That list sums it all up. Sadly. It was good for me to read it, as I want to be aware of my actions. I wasn't during the Lexapro taper.

 

#16 was a kicker....alot of people are re-diagnosed as bipolar and are put on another round of meds.

 

I had a friend say that to me while tapering lexapro. I kept telling her it wa WD. Needless to say I stopped talking about WD to her.

 

With the taper I am doing now, I have experienced, in a short time, most of the symptoms and I am so sick of it.

 

Thanks for posting this...it's important to read so we are reminded it is the WD not us.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Barbarannamated

Revisiting this list. WHEW! So many hit home, in retrospect. I realize im still "under the influence" so to speak.

 

Critical point is that THESE WERE NEVER EXPERIENCED PRIOR TO SS/NRIs. I shudder to think of how many people are rediagnose and drugged.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 1 month later...

I strongly dislike the wording of

 

13.Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.

 

Austism is a spectrum - see here

 

Every person with Austism is different, just like every person on this site is different. I'm sure there are non-autistics who do not like physical contact for whatever reason, and I know there are people with Autism who like physical contact.

01/2006 Put on Prozac for anxiety and panic attacks 08/2008 Came off Zoloft after tapering don't remember taper, lost weight, felt like had cold constantly, very panicky, pain everywhere (misdiagnosed fibromyalgia), head funny.05/2010 put back on Zoloft03/2012 came completely off Zoloft followed Dr standard taper- no appetite, lost weight (0.5 stone), flu-like feelings constantly, pain everywhere, head funny, nausea, very panicky, very strong emotions etc Lost 1 stone.04/2013 improving. actually put on some weight and hungry most of the time. Still burning pain joints, stomach upset, headache/feel faint and emotions very strong. Chest very painful too.01/2014 improving still. Gained weight!! Still hungry. Still headache/feel faint and strong emotions and chest/shoulder muscles painful. Periods irregular and very painful. Very tired. Joints burn only if eat refined sugars. Started eating fruits again.03/2014 2 years off. Now intolerances developed to nuts and soya. Permanently hungry, Emotions strong but started healing psychological reasons I was put on antidepressants with therapist. Shoulder pain bad, heady often, very tired.06/2014 flu-like symptoms returned, many intolerances, stomach painful, skin crawling feeling, muscles painful, very emotional. :-((

09/2016 over 4.5 years off, no real changes in symptoms, still much pain, headiness, heart weird, digestion bad, hormones unbalanced, nausea yet very hungry, tired, flu like symptoms etc etc.

<p>taking - vit C, probiotics and digestive enzymesI have Aspergers Syndrome.

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  • 4 weeks later...
starlitegirlx

I almost ended a 20 year friendship with a friend who has been like a sister to me. I didn't blame her for things or anything like that but I felt we were so different and especially with some things going on in each of our lives that set us for different paths it seemed best until she said (almost tearfully) that she thought I didn't want to be friends with her anymore. That was jarring. The person who had been there for me more than anyone else in my entire life and I was ready to just end it based on what felt like a need to just withdraw from the world. I think it's part of the withdrawal. I cannot deal with life or people or situations. I can barely walk down the hall due to gait and dizziness issues. The presence of people or even knowing there is a person I have to deal with is utterly draining. Like I should be in some sort of special quiet space away from the world to recover from this hell.

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  • Administrator

Good points, dekiru and starlitegirl.

 

It might have been better if Kerry had written in 2007 that, in withdrawal, you might become hypersensitive in a lot of ways and not able to handle the intensity of interactions with people -- rather than use "autistic" in an almost slangy way.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 months later...

the list is quite frightening really,not that they might happen but that medication has had that effect :unsure::o

withdrawal 5 days

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  • 8 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

This is so good I'm bumping it back up to the top.

I read this on the "other" site when I was first going through withdrawal. At that time, I shared it with my husband and he felt it was pretty accurate. I think it helped him to have patience with me (though I sure tested it a lot).The thread was posted by Kerry in April of 2007 and titled, "What you might see..." 

What you might see if your friend or family member has a severe adverse reaction when trying to stop taking SSRI/SNRI antidepressants…1.Your loved one begins to feel sick. Physical symptoms such as flu-like aches, dizziness, nightmares, heart palpitations, headaches, brain zaps, etc. appear. Depending on the half-life of the specific drug, this can occur even within a day or two.2.He/she might express shame and embarrassment or anger for having ever taken the drug. They might talk about feeling like “a druggie.”3.Anxiety and confusion set in along with an inability to focus. Your loved one starts to act and look a little lost or muddled. They might worry that they’re “crazy.” They worry they’re going to hurt you by making you “go through this” with them. You can see an inability to connect thought patterns or thoughts with emotions as the abstract thinking process is compromised.4.Their dreams become more vivid and often disturbing if they’re able to sleep at all. Insomnia can get brutal at this point.5.Aggression, irritability, homicidal and suicidal thoughts and actions can pop out of nowhere – and you’ll be stunned. Personality and attitude changes become very apparent to you because you’ve been close with this person, but co-workers or casual friends might not see anything wrong.6.Gaps in memory begin – very often memories that were formed while taking the SSRI or during withdrawal are the ones that seem to go. You might bring up the movie you saw with this person the day before and be told you've gone out of your mind! Emotions reappear in sudden, intense bursts and rollercoaster the person between uncontrollable crying fits and anger. You might seem them sob for hours then turn and want to rip someone’s head off. Preferably whoever prescribed the SSRI in the first place. ;-)7.Your loved one suddenly feels the need to make big decisions, life-altering changes, keep moving - this symptom is called akathisia. The “fight or flight” mechanism has completely malfunctioned.8.The person feels depersonalized and disconnected from him/herself or reality. You might hear he/she "feels nothing" as emotional responses are flattened. They might say they feel like they’re “floating outside” their heads. They usually still have an awareness of something wrong at this point.9.Your loved one might eliminate input from those nearest (including you), often stressing independence and competency to an unreasonable, paranoid level. He or she now appears selfish and arrogant a lot of the time.10.Manic and psychotic episodes can come and go at random intervals, triggered in part due to severe insomnia. Perceptions of people, timeframes and events can become skewed and completely inaccurate.11.The person’s connection to the consequences of his or her own actions is severed. Conscience and compassion disappear. That awareness of "something wrong" may disappear, too.12.The person vilifies and pushes away the people they care for the most, almost always including a spouse or significant other first. The person in withdrawal might start to believe they never loved their partner, shifts blame to them for events that may or may not have happened, or fails to recall positive, defining events in the relationship. Duration or quality of the relationship seems to have little bearing on this response.13.Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.14.Your formerly calm loved one can display unusual impulsive behaviors such as promiscuity, impulsive spending, drinking – even if they never did these things before. The five senses shift into overdrive.15.The "going back in time" phenomenon appears. The person reverts to anything "ex," grasping mentally and emotionally to people or things they were attached to prior to their first dose of the antidepressant.16.Waves of rebound depression, anxiety, etc. hit. If a health care provider is unaware that withdrawal symptoms mimic bi-polar disorder and other mental illnesses, a new diagnosis can result in further medication, trapping the person in an endless cycle of psychotropic drugs.17.Physical symptoms subside gradually. The person often doesn’t have a full awareness, sometimes for months or even years at this point, that many of their behaviors and decisions are a continued result of withdrawal. They believe their thoughts, memories, feelings and actions are absolutely correct, and no one can tell them otherwise.18.People begin to experience "good days" or "good weeks" only to have a bad episode hit weeks later out of the blue. Sudden downswings in emotions have been repeatedly noted at the six- and nine-month marks following the last dose. This, too, shall pass.19.At 1-3 years out, folks are reporting sudden intense neurological twitches and muscles spasms. Very scary, but they seem to self-correct.20.Final Note: Every brain is chemically individual. The severity, order of symptoms and duration of withdrawal vary from person to person. Some experience a handful of symptoms. Others experience every symptom imaginable. Others experience very few or almost none. Cold turkey or abrupt withdrawal drastically increases these symptoms.

 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Double bump. Thanks mammaP!

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

While all this is going on the doctor is inevitably called and the person is then prescribed a 

bagful of medications with the label 'bi-polar' attached to it. Unless everyone is up to date on research 

and facts about SSRI/SNRI's, which is rare, because only the one who is going through all this wants

to know the truth, everyone else will listen to doctors/friends/social workers and go along with the

label and medication nightmare!

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

My last post ^^^^^ was not intended to scare anyone and I hope it hasn't done that! 

It resonated with me and my experiences with psychiatry but isn't what happens to most 

people.  :mellow:

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • 4 months later...

I had read this post a few months ago. I thought about showing it to my family and then decided not to. I worried that they would never accept anything I did, felt, said, etc as anything other than w/d. I've thought about pulling it out a few times and always stop myself. Things with a friend of mine have gotten so bad that losing that relationship has become a real possibility. Yesterday I thought to pull this out for her. As I sat here re-reading the post I had a wake-up call. While I've been so busy trying to tell my friend about what is going on, I've almost forgotten that it is actually going on. I sweepingly blame w/d for everything but haven't really owned it.  As I re-read this I was thinking "Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Bet that is what was happening when..." I remember the biggies, insomnia, headaches, feeling ill overall but I had forgotten things like failing to recall positive events, vilifying loved ones, not wanting to be touched, grasping at the past.

 

I'm still torn about showing this to her, or any of my family. I still worry that somehow everything I do, feel, or say will be swept under the the w/d rug and I'll feel patronized and/or dismissed (paranoia?). There are a few things that others have commented/posted that I would want to add to mine because they feel true for me but then I think that it would sum up my entire life as just being messed-up. Seeing as I've been medicated one way or another for pretty much my entire life, maybe I just need to accept that it was.

 

Hmmm? Not sure what I'll do. However, I thank each of you for contributing your experiences because it helps me to understand mine. 

Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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  • 4 weeks later...

There are a few things I would add... 

hypersensitive to sound - to the extent I could not stand the sound of tires on the pavement

hypersensitive to light - tinfoil over the windows - no time outside in the day time

Could not eat period 

electrolytes out of whack

hypersensitive to food - a few months in when I could eat food suddenly made me very tired If I ate I had to sleep it was more like a coma did not matter what I ate 

hypersensitive to smells-  smells made me ill dizzy my tongue would go numb I would have to leave the smell perfume laundry soap in stores all cleaning supplies except a very few... and no it was not a lie to get out of cleaning :) tho it strikes me now that it would be funny if it were...

could not tolerate music with lyrics as the words of one sentence would repeat in my head for a wk at least the same sentence usually I stopped music.

could not tolerate violence or gore on tv could not tolerate much tv at all or the news or news paper 

 

Now I am sitting here thinking if I am the only one with all these symptoms maybe I have something else?  Anyone.....

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

You certainly aren't alone BT. I can't watch anything distressing on tv because

I don't watch it just once then forget it. It replays over and over again, even in my dreams!

My family all know that and will tell me if I should or shouldn't watch a movie, even the grandkids

tell me what to avoid. Same with music. I HATE stores at christmas because they all play the same 

stuff and it ends up in my brain, over and over again!

 

Noise can be so loud even the sound of the keys on the computer can drive me insane when it is

someone else using it. What is really strange is that voices, lots of voices, like in a shopping mall

or hospital, that low kind of hum of voices can send me to sleep,in the wrong place at the wrong time!

But I cannot tolerate a room full of people all trying to talk over each other. It gives me a terrible

headache and I feel physically ill.

 I'm not so bad with light though, I like things to be light and bright, hate dismal dull days and dark

rooms. have lights on all over the house.  

 

And all this is even on good days, on bad days it's all magnified even more.  :blink:

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

Link to post

Totally not alone. I have a thing with smells. Sometimes its good, like I can smell clean laundry from a mile away. Other times not so good like when dinner cooking just hits wrong. And, I wake up to a song in my head every morning. 

Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

Link to post

I strongly dislike the wording of

 

13.Autistic responses kick in, meaning physical contact and affection become repugnant.

 

Austism is a spectrum - see here

 

Every person with Austism is different, just like every person on this site is different. I'm sure there are non-autistics who do not like physical contact for whatever reason, and I know there are people with Autism who like physical contact.

I use to work with disabled kids and autism can be many different things.  I do have an extended family member who was caught in this trap with me tho we both withdrew I was in withdrawal suspect she has been too... tho I have tried to suggest to her to seek some information online she cannot bare to look at the computer and says she has a phobia about computers now.  Tho she is university educated and use to have a great job working on computers all day long.  She moved to another province perhaps during her own withdrawal.  Her son is autistic and before I lost contact with her in a long distance phone call she was telling me she was thinking she was autistic and that maybe she had always been like her son and that is where he got it from her.  

I had not seen this "autistic" connection to drug withdrawal yet and just listened as I had the sense that is what she needed somebody to listen while she talked her way thru this idea.  She said if she really tried she could see things in her childhood that were autistic like - I did suggest childhood is a mixed bag and most of us could find something in our childhoods that looked like an autistic tendency if we thought long enough about it.  I did not know her as a child.  She went further in talking to her mother and her siblings about how she may have been autistic since birth.  None of them agreed with her and that left her feeling like they were not supporting her in her search for what was currently wrong with her.  

Her shrink was all ears and thought it possible she was not diagnosed as a child.  

I know she had been on antidepressants when she lived in this province.  I knew her before and after she was on them... while my memory of the time may not be completely clear there was no thought she was autistic in my mind before drugs.  After she left her husband packed up the kids and moved away.  

 

I am not sure what this mean if anything but the idea that some may use the word "autistic"  incorrectly because they are not actually autistic and had no notable tendencies before they were drugged may mean something to a few people ... it may be a word they choose to use that for them describes withdrawal.  

 

If I had not seen the word here I would not have picked it to describe my own experience but that is likely because I have seen different faces of autism for a mother of an autistic child to pick it I think we can use some grace in dealing with the use of the word and have them spell out what it means to them.

 

I do think withdrawing from the world is part of what I had to do just to survive this.  My world became extremely small for a very long time and has not completely opened up.  I have limited places where I can go and feel at ease.  Sadly I need to have control of my environment if I can't control it then my chances of leaving home are few.

 

My greatest fear is being locked up and drugged I think most peoples greatest fear is death but mine is not mine is drug torture as I know that drugs for me are instruments of  torture.  As I tried many in the beginning of this and they all made me worse.  I used many controlled environment techniques to survive them but if I were locked in where I could not walk thru akathisia  block out the light that burned my eyes use ear plugs...  for instance it would be much worse.  

 

It has improved a great deal I have few days where I can't go out in the light but I still have light sensitivity more due to maybe barometric pressure and mirgraines are severe when I get them. I try to control my environment so that I don't get them it may mean staying inside on days that are provoking it may mean staying inside many days in a row but preventing these big head aches I feel is a way of protecting my brain which is still irritable. After a big head ache I am not the same life changes and it takes a good amount of time to get back to the calm and functioning I had gained before the headache. 

 

I don't live in my own place so it can lead to problems when I can't control things but I manage even if I do so with some resentment, I do manage. People around me don't understand and I have resigned myself to this fact.  Doctors don't understand and I have resigned myself to this fact too.  I keep thinking that one day when I am stronger I will take another stab at explaining it all to either of those possibly hopeful contingencies in my life.  I have made attempts but I lose track of the effort or do hit and miss... I try get overwhelmed by lack of words or lack of interest and I stop then I start again another time when I think a word here or there may promote the idea a bit further.  Actually it takes a lot more out of me to do this in real life than it does to do it here online where nobody is interrupting my thought process... I can't do it on my feet I can't think well enough to do that. I get lost in the process.  

 

Every bit of this work is long and hard it seems with long breaks in between ( this is how it is now 7 years out)  I have long breaks where I can sleep and eat.  These two things are amazingly healing to me.  When stress comes as it always will in life my apple cart is upset I go back to falling apart and must withdraw to heal myself again.  Generally I can do this in a wk or so at most but this year has been a mess with car accident broken foot and surgery... so my apples are still rolling down hill and into gutters.  I am working on it best I can but I do have a sense of really is this fair have I not been thru enough... but even as I say that to myself...whining about it does not change my situations. Does not heal broken bones or make pain go away.  So I have been dug in deep back to basics and looking to the big time healer of time relaxation and first do no harm in directing my own care.  I has not been easy but knowing your not alone in this process or others as people are suffering all over the world helps.  I am sure I am building some muscles some place deep down some dealing with crap muscle perhaps.  

 

I know one thing for sure and that is there is nothing like years of suffering to make it clear that I have to stand up for myself and say no to doctors who think they know best and I have to deal with the fallout of things I may be wrong in choosing.  I have to educate myself as best I can with the mind I have left to watch over my own care in what hits now and in the future as long as I can.  This I have learned the hard way.  I also have to search days to find something to make this life worth it... cause truly the protracted withdrawal experience is not a good life to live.  I have found a good place to stand and been thrown off that bit of land over and over again and each time I seek a new bit of land a place to stand and I guess this is what it is all about finding a place to stand while healing takes place.  

 

For me it is this as long as I can stand I won't say comfortably but something tolerable I will stand and wait for time to heal me yet again. As I have learned my body is smarter than I am and it knows how to heal itself for the most part when it comes to withdrawal.  I will wait a bit more.  

 

I have to say here that some things have healed to a tolerable level but can be back in a heat beat should my cart get upset. What i have learned through experience cannot be changed inside me I have learned it well... saying no to a doctor even one I mostly trust who has a new pill is easy for me now because I know he does not know this body of mine and how it reacts but I do.  

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to post

You certainly aren't alone BT. I can't watch anything distressing on tv because

I don't watch it just once then forget it. It replays over and over again, even in my dreams!

My family all know that and will tell me if I should or shouldn't watch a movie, even the grandkids

tell me what to avoid. Same with music. I HATE stores at christmas because they all play the same 

stuff and it ends up in my brain, over and over again!

 

Noise can be so loud even the sound of the keys on the computer can drive me insane when it is

someone else using it. What is really strange is that voices, lots of voices, like in a shopping mall

or hospital, that low kind of hum of voices can send me to sleep,in the wrong place at the wrong time!

But I cannot tolerate a room full of people all trying to talk over each other. It gives me a terrible

headache and I feel physically ill.

 I'm not so bad with light though, I like things to be light and bright, hate dismal dull days and dark

rooms. have lights on all over the house.  

 

And all this is even on good days, on bad days it's all magnified even more.  :blink:

I have that with voices too I feel like I am under water they get far away... which I know means I am not getting enough oxygen so I do deep breaths may go outside for a time to breath.  

I know some would say this is a anxiety issue and while it may be for some other people this is not what it is for those of us in withdrawal it is something else tho they may be similar and similar things may help this is a physical thing.. that is what I think since it came with a host of other things that and never responded to anxiety meds when I tried them. Ya this is withdrawal.  

It gets better in time I find the more deep relaxation I get into my life the better I heal I really thing that important healing takes place when we are in a deep relaxation state when the body can give up putting energy into all the other processes it is normally working on and focus on the deep down healing.  

I think I am going to be more proactive about this and plan deep relaxation at least one time a day as I need it right now to get me over a hump and help me heal faster. 

I use heat on my spine I read it was healing and increases noripinephrine in our bodies I am not sure how that would be healing as it sounds as it should maybe not be but it works for me so I do it... heat on the spine and relaxation to my brain thru headphones I use to use a cd of the ocean as I could not tolerate words ... did not want the words to repeat in my head and take my focus there... it worked great. 

 

Now that the repeating thing is not such a problem I use deep relaxation from utube or sometimes will sit and listen to rain on utube while I am online typing as it seems to sooth my brain.  

 

Thanks for chiming in for a bit there I was feeling out in the cold I need to hear it still after all this time I need reassurance. Thanks Mamma P

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to post

Totally not alone. I have a thing with smells. Sometimes its good, like I can smell clean laundry from a mile away. Other times not so good like when dinner cooking just hits wrong. And, I wake up to a song in my head every morning. 

I am curious about the smells as I have not heard from many other people with this issue and it is one I would like to learn more about.  I have read it could be an allergic reaction for me it brings on withdrawal symptoms and it seems to wax and wain like all other symptoms.  Again when I am in a bad spell smells send me over the top and when I am well they still make me sick ... numb tingling in my tongue and dizzy to start if I don't get away from it I will get worse.  I tend to get away from it always now.  Which leads me to think of all the ways this runs me this entire situation has completely change my life to one of avoidance and limiting harm to my self which if I think about it in terms of what I would expect from my life if I never took these pill would set up a degree of anger not conducive to my good mental health so I will choose to leave that for now cause I am here ..NOW and not in that alternate of reality of what life should be.. but HERE. 

So I was thinking if this is an allergic response why now and never before the word is a person can develop allergies. Then they say to treat it with benedryle lol the old antidepressant base drug... and I can't get my head around it.. and won't take it as it has a fallout reaction for me. 

 

I just stopped here and read this

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/23836093/

the debate goes on it seems there are a lot of people reacting to smells and maybe they are chemical smells as they are chemically produced products... I have not had a reaction to food in a long time it is mostly chemicals that bother me now. 

 

For a time I thought maybe it was MS but I have already been checked for it as I had other symptoms before I quit effexor that looked like MS/Parkinsons... so I try to leave that alone. 

 

I have thought maybe it has something to do with the blood brain barrier not being as think or resistant to chemicals but that is just a pie in the sky idea of mine. 

Before this last mirgraine I was looking at histamine intolerance on here and now wonder if that plays some role ... all just guesses as most of this is.  

 

Maybe I will have a good stretch and be able to look at more along the histamine line soon.  I have just had a major migraine it will take some time to heal this and allow to focus well enough to do any decent thinking. 

 

I know you say you have been drugged most of your life I am curious if you have had this smell issue at any time before withdrawal.  

I had not had any smell issue previous to my Effexor tolerance and subsequent too fast withdrawal. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to post

Sorry it just dawn on me I should have started a new thread about this maybe don't mean to hi jack move wherever you see fit Alto.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to post
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