☼ frasier23: Zyprexa cold turkey what now

[frasier23]

thanks alo trying my best. thing is im having struggle with my thoughts and the sleep deprivation may put me into psychosis or if its my thoughts that will, which make me a bit uncomfortable.

[frasier23]

another sleepless night and i really feeling body is closing down now. so instead of ending up in hospital i might try some sleep meidine. dont know whatcthat will help in long run though...

 

maybe i need to try to recharge myself with med a for while. hard call but i just know that if this keeps going on i will need to get into hospital and there i will be forced medicine. hoped i would pass out in my bed instead but i dont think it necesarry work that way if zyprexa/psychossis/whatevee has disturbed the sleep.

[scallywag]

frasier -- starting a new psychoactive substance, such as the sleep "aids" you mention, or updosing a current drug are ALWAYS an option to relieve symptoms.

 

Our challenge with either of those actions is that we have seen new drugs or updoses produce mixed results for people. For some it works and they stabilize, the start a taper. For others, it adds new symptoms or makes existing symptoms worse. We can't predict -- and truthfully, nobody can predict -- which effect will occur for you.

[Hopefull]

This is what I have been experiencing.

I experienced this last night before bed, after taking mitrazapine.

I wasn't sure what exactly it was.

I don't get all the time, only sometimes. It is weird.

[Marsha]

I believe it's called hypnagogia. I had it when I got off antipsychotic. I don't have it anymore.

[Marsha]

What I get now is hypnopompia, mind jumping from one image to another just after waking. I just go with it mostly. Sometimes it is too disturbing and I just get up and go about my day. It will go away eventually. I'm not worried about it.

[arwilliams]

@frasier23 How are you doing now?  I'm trying micro tapers and will see how that goes.

[frasier23]

Update:

I was put on trilafon for one month and I also tried to kill me during same month. My body got even more destroyed by trilafon and I could barerly speak/think nothing. I will keep this short but i stopped Trilafon when I started to get tardive symptoms. I stayed in a pitch black room for 3-4 months. My mom made me one meal per day. I was having strange thoughts in my head all the time, outer body experiances etc. I slept 1 seconds per night roughly. Or i didnt sleep but i had some kind of dream like state in my dark room for roughly one se ond in total. It was crazy.. I had stesolid and mirtazapin if I needed some black hole/ sleep. 

 

This spring Ive made huge progress. Ive been experimenting a lot with diets(1 year) , no more alcohol(2years now) , isolate from all negativ things. 

 

My record this spring was in total 6hours sleep.(2 Wake up) It doesnt feel like sleep but I sleep and its getting deeper. Im H

Hopeful I can recover more, especially now when I can start do to light exercising and other activities. I dont have much thoughts now when I try to sleep. Im not happy but Im hopeful and motivated about my future. I laugh a lot and started to do reglar things. 

[frasier23]

Amount of sleep (estimated since july 2016) 

Month 1-4: in dark room 1-3 second/night (psychosis/dream like sleep).  I used medicine when I had to many nights just with these seconds.

Month 5-12: still in dark room but not bedridden all day 30min - 2hours. Always tried to sleep by myself . If I failed until 4am I sometimes took medicine (more rarely compared to first months)

Month 12-18: 2-3.5hours Same with medicine but more rarely.Only Stesolid.

Month 18-24: 3.5-6hours No medicine, just keeping Stesolid as a safety.

 

Month 1-18 I had Stesolid , Quetiapin(Seroquel) that helped me if I needed a "black hole sleep". I used it only in super acute situations cause I didn't want to get depended on any other medicines plus I knew it would just delay recovery even further. Stesolid gave me 3hrs from start. In the end only maybe 1h. Same with Quetiapin(Seroquel). So around month 10-14 I more or less stopped using them because I didn't feel any panic about not sleeping anymore either. Hehe 

 

I hope no-one needs to go through these since its very rough. 

 If it was worth it? Compared to be on those medicines?? Yes but Ive been lucky. Its very risky move especially during first months. But now I have at least a chance to become healthy and not wondering about if symtoms is from medicine or natural etc blablabl.

 

 

 

[Hopefull]

15 hours ago, frasier23 said:

Amount of sleep (estimated since july 2016) 

Month 1-4: in dark room 1-3 second/night (psychosis/dream like sleep).  I used medicine when I had to many nights just with these seconds.

Month 5-12: still in dark room but not bedridden all day 30min - 2hours. Always tried to sleep by myself . If I failed until 4am I sometimes took medicine (more rarely compared to first months)

Month 12-18: 2-3.5hours Same with medicine but more rarely.Only Stesolid.

Month 18-24: 3.5-6hours No medicine, just keeping Stesolid as a safety.

 

Month 1-18 I had Stesolid , Quetiapin(Seroquel) that helped me if I needed a "black hole sleep". I used it only in super acute situations cause I didn't want to get depended on any other medicines plus I knew it would just delay recovery even further. Stesolid gave me 3hrs from start. In the end only maybe 1h. Same with Quetiapin(Seroquel). So around month 10-14 I more or less stopped using them because I didn't feel any panic about not sleeping anymore either. Hehe 

 

I hope no-one needs to go through these since its very rough. 

 If it was worth it? Compared to be on those medicines?? Yes but Ive been lucky. Its very risky move especially during first months. But now I have at least a chance to become healthy and not wondering about if symtoms is from medicine or natural etc blablabl.

 

 

 

Hi Frazer23,

I just read through your thread, and you really have been through exceptionally difficult time, for the last 2 years. It is fantastic to hear that you are doing so much better now. 

These meds really screw up your mind, and you do start to wonder what symptoms are from meds, and what symptoms are real, even though the symptoms are from meds.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I wish you all the best in the future and a full recovery from the meds that you were on.

 

[bubble]

Good to hear you're doing better.

 

This calls for our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to be added to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[bubble]

Thank you for coming back to say this great update. I'm very happy for you and wish you continued healing. As someone who experiences insomnia on occassion I can only admire your endurance. Not panicking about it seems to be key.

 

I added our Here comes the sun symbol for you Keep us posted.

[RachelSusan]

Hi Frasier,

I just read your post on Deejay's thread.  Thank you for sharing.  I think you captured what a lot of us went through.  I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I was able to reinstate and start a taper.  I didn't know that I could get withdrawal from antidepressants and actually had no idea what was going on with me at the time.  I was able to find this website, figure it out and reinstate.  However it took me a while to pull it all together and it was h*ll.  While I didn't have the exact symptoms that you did I truly feel like I have experienced the worst that there is to experience in life.  Your post reminded me of how much better it is now.  I am still tapering and still feel effects when I taper but I can live with it.  Thank you again for sharing, and the hope you bring with that sharing. I am so glad that you have the improvement that you now have.

Warm wishes,

Rachel

[frasier23]

On 6/28/2018 at 4:15 PM, bubble said:

Thank you for coming back to say this great update. I'm very happy for you and wish you continued healing. As someone who experiences insomnia on occassion I can only admire your endurance. Not panicking about it seems to be key.

 

I added our Here comes the sun symbol for you Keep us posted.

Yes or to go through panicking. Ive had panic for completely days (dont think its healthy) but I had given up on hospital and myself and I thought lets see what happens. 

 

Thanks for the sun, it actually made me a bit "glad" hehe. So Im not where I wanna be but I feel that Im on right path and can only move forward from here. 

 

[frasier23]

2018 august

 

This summer has been hot. Not good for insomniacs. Im thankful I had my worst times 2016/2017. Since my last post things are more or less the same even though I can feel small progress. My sleep is a bit more stable compared with July. I usually sleep around 6h non-refreshing sleep with one wakeup. I have fewer nightmares and last couple of mornings I woke up I actually knew where I was. Im happy for that since it make me feel more stable. I also feel ready to go on a small trip with friends which I never thought would be possible to enjoy anymore. I may not looking forward to it but at least I can do it and small parts of it will be fun I know. I think the biggest part of healing left is to go from weak to strong. Like today I feel weak enjoyment , weak sleep, etc. I can do weak running , weak weight lifting etc. But at least I feel things and I can do things. SO its just a matter of time before some things starting to get average / strong. Im on a good path in the gym to be back in average shape. Same goes with swimming and social relationships. Those things push all other things I think and hope.

 

Cheers everyone and thanks for the support from all you kind souls.

 

[PoetJester]

Fraiser

 

i posted two more poems of mine if you feel like reading them

 

Derek

 

Edited September 20, 2018 by ChessieCat
removed unnecessary quote

[frasier23]

2018 October

 

My sleep is a little bit more stable but I still have maximum of 5-6 hours non-refreshing sleep. Ive aslo been a little bit more active since last post. Ive tried

to do more things in general. Ive been doing juicing for one month now. It feels positive and many drinks taste great. One strange thing (which I believe is positive) is

that my resting pulse has dramatically decreased from 70+ to very healthy 50-55 bpm. Its better than Ive ever had in my life which make me a little bit suspicious. But Ive been very healthy now

for a long time so maybe it just pays off.  But it happened over a night which is strange. 

 

Im hoping to increase my total sleep to at least 7h which would increase my muscle recovery. Today its almost impossible to keep some kind of 

training regime so I do everything very lightly. A lot of positive things has happened since this spring and I try to appreciate every new small thing but its

easy to feel down since life is still not what it should be. But we get there. Yes you too.

 

 

 

 

[TreeElf]

Great to hear you are healing. Insomnia is the one thing that has never been an issue for me in withdrawal (thank god), but it sounds truly awful. Especially over such a long period of time, I don't know how people cope with that. Grateful to hear someone escaped this and has hope for the future x

[frasier23]

On 10/9/2018 at 11:41 AM, AbbyElfie said:

Great to hear you are healing. Insomnia is the one thing that has never been an issue for me in withdrawal (thank god), but it sounds truly awful. Especially over such a long period of time, I don't know how people cope with that. Grateful to hear someone escaped this and has hope for the future x

Usually you get hospitalised or crazy, Ive been both. I believe you have to give up on life to be able to comeback from it. I stayed in a dark room with complete insomnia for 3+ months (only trance sleep for 1s every 2nd or 3rd night). Sometimes I took a pill and could "sleep" for 20-30min (had no effect on me anymore). Mom was only person I trusted and she wasnt allowed to contact hospital again as I would rather go into psychosis again and die from exhaustion in my bed (my gameplan). 

 

[frasier23]

2018 December

 

Just making a short update for the sake of it. Merry Christmas everybody!

 

Im more positve than in October. I have a tad more energy and strength. I believe Im 60-70 of my old strentght capacity now. My endurance is a little bit less. 

Sleep is now (usually) minimum 5-6hours. My record is around 7-8 hrs with one wakeup. I see a very clear pattern with with how safe and cosy place I sleep in . If I don't use my own room

I sleep walk and having nightmares every night. In my room though things are OK, cant complain even though Im still waiting for refreshing sleep which I guess can come when I have

more hours light sleep. I hope Im soon there.

 

 

 

 

[frasier23]

2019 January.

 

Making a small update for the sake of it. Lifes not as I want it to be. But I keep going and motivate myself that

when my recovery time from training / working / other activity I will start to see the result I really want.

 

January has been a mess to me compared to november/december. Sleep been strange and Im been tired all days with no energy at all.

On the positive side, this seems to alleviate right now when this is written. I have only been able to do mild training once every weeks. But I have

a feeling this will change in February. I written about it regarding my sleep but I think it may be the same with my recovery times. They get better for a while and all of a sudden

they are totally messed up for a while. Then they get better (less time) etc..

 

Dont want to go into any more details but its quite tough living but not living if you know what I mean. I hope things take of big time soon.

[ChessieCat]

14 hours ago, frasier23 said:

Hi everyone,

 

I'm curious about light therapy since Ive read some good things about it. There isnt much

research out there yet but its well known to have effect on *Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) as well as erectile dysfunction (both "proven"). 

 

So I have some questions for you out there that have tried it.

 

For long did you try it?

 

What benefits did you see?

 

If you stopped with it, why?

 

 

* https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2913518/

 

 

I've moved your post to an existing topic:

 

light-boxes-light-therapy-for-depression-and-sleep-disorders

 

[frasier23]

2019 Mars

 

Just making a small update. February was as January not a good month even though small improvements have been done in various areas.

I think the coldness and darkness here in Jan / Feb makes life/recovery much more difficult. I hope a trip to the sun i possible next year.

 

Otherwise Im still positive. I feel spring is starting to arrive and it feels inspiring. I think its also easy to forget all small positive things that 

are happening. For example I can sleep daytime on my couch for short periods if Im really sleep (even though its sometimes trance sleep). This havent been possible since 2015. I can also do some running

which I think longterm will help me enormously.

 

Im also very curious about this spring/summer. Last year around this time of the year I had my first big break in recovery. I started do small things etc. Im hoping for a similiar big improvement this time.

One thing I hope will get better is my working memory as well as creativity. I have improved but its not where I want it to be yet. Another thing is mental stability. To be able to focus on something for a long time without start thinking about

random thoughts / fantasies or holding internal dialoges (I have nothing against them but it can be draining). 

[Carmie]

Hi Frasier, 

 

Nice to hear your positive thoughts. You’ve had a cold and dark winter, we’ve had a hot and sunny summer. I should have sent you some sunshine, .☀️☀️☀️☀️😄 and you could have sent me some cool air. ❄️❄️❄️❄️😄.  We just has had lots of rain this evening, I’m so excited! ☔️ We haven’t had a lot. 

 

I hope spring is a little more brighter for you, it’s nice when all the beautiful flowers come out too. 

 

Wishing you all the best on your recovery.💚

[frasier23]

On 3/15/2019 at 1:07 PM, Carmie said:

Hi Frasier, 

 

Nice to hear your positive thoughts. You’ve had a cold and dark winter, we’ve had a hot and sunny summer. I should have sent you some sunshine, .☀️☀️☀️☀️😄 and you could have sent me some cool air. ❄️❄️❄️❄️😄.  We just has had lots of rain this evening, I’m so excited! ☔️ We haven’t had a lot. 

 

I hope spring is a little more brighter for you, it’s nice when all the beautiful flowers come out too. 

 

Wishing you all the best on your recovery.💚

Thanks Carmie appreciate it  Yes I have to something about this cold darkness next year.. Too bad Australia i s far from here

[frasier23]

2019 JUNE UPDATE

 

Been a while since I updated. Biggest reason for that is that things go slow. The more

progress I do the more I feel depressed (from time to time) since I want it all. I don't think about that

much but it's the top reason I haven't written earlier. 

 

I still do training, healthy food and being as active in various things as possible.

 

Sleep

Ive bought a fitness watch to easier keep track of my sleep plus Ive started to forget my wake's lately so its needed (I take "forgetting wake's" as a positive sign).

My total sleep record on this watch is around 8 hours with 2-3 wakeups. Deep sleep record is around 1 hours which I don't get often. Deep sleep is on average

30min / night. My more active lifestyle is taking a toll on my body so I think I have to slow down for a while. I really need more deep sleep to keep up. Anyways if you're not bedridden I really recommend buying one of those watches I think it can help and motivate a lot.

 

Future

Will continue my day by day approach and do what feels good. I try to exercise about once per day (at least do some walking) + some activity. I will try to do some more traveling since I think new environments is good (if you can sleep). Even though I have OK sleep in total numbers now, its a long way back. Ive been out of sleep for a long time and still don't have any refreshing sleep that I can feel (glad to see some deep sleep on my watch though :)). After this summer my hopes are that Ive had 8h continuous sleep at least one night and 2h deep sleep at least one night. If that happens I believe more crucial changes can start to happen.

[senseless]

Hi Frasier,

 

How are you doing?

[frasier23]

On 4/7/2020 at 11:49 AM, senseless said:

Hi Frasier,

 

How are you doing?

 

Could be worse, could be better. Better than last year and on my way to 100% . Guessing youre concerned about the sleep part.

 

1. Sleep will recover (at least to a OK-to-live-with state)

2. Sleep recovery can take a lot of time (see my timelapse earlier in the thread for a bad case)

3. If you cant sleep, pretend sleep in a 100% dark room for 8-10 hours. Your body will rest a little even if you don't sleep. I wrote about this earlier in the thread.

4. If you haven't slept for 3-5 days you can always take a sleep pill to have at least one hour of "dark hole"-sleep. I did this a lot when I was forcing my body ro recover. I could be resting in my dark room for 3-4 days(yes could be 100hrs without any sleep) before I took a sleep pill. Then I started the process again. This is not adviced by doctors ofcourse.

5. Try to have a schedule everyday 3 small meals if possible and some activity.

 

My body was really destroyed by all the medicines but also from my massive insomnia that lasted for so long. Im not fully recovered yet but I can run and do everyday life. Hope this spring will be great!

[Vasherr]

Hi, @frasier23

 

it's been a long time since You've written here, how are You feeling lately?

[frasier23]

Better than last post, will write a longer text another time. Ive started to have loads of deep sleep lately, seems to be a game changer. Time, exercise, healthy food, new knowledge/memories and a no stress/drama life is the receipe. Be safe and good luck! @Vasherr

 

[N2deep]

It'd be great to get an update frasier whenever you get a chance. Great to hear things were going well when you posted last.