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oops44: caught unaware by sertraline / Zoloft withdrawal

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oops44

so here i am building a public diary about my experience with sertraline. my intent is quite selfish i assure you - i seek catharsis - but with a little luck this introduction will evolve into a success story, and someone else who also struggles may be uplifted in the process. it helps to read about the experiences of others and I'm hoping it helps to talk about my own even more. i guess thats why we're all here, to talk. i just wish i could cuss here cuz its like half my vocabulary.

 

anyway, after taking sertraline 50mg for seasonal affective disorder for three years with no adverse effects i figured i would quit. after a little research i did what amounted to a taper over the course of 6 weeks. i felt fine and had no side effects for two months after my last dose. i thought i had moved on, no biggie. about a week ago i had a panic attack seemingly out of nowhere. it basically didn't subside for three days and i was clueless as to what the problem was. i figured i had finally snapped. i was afraid to be home alone so most of the first 72 hrs were spent driving around aimlessly searching for meaningless tasks to keep me occupied and visiting friends on high alert at best, full blown panic at worst. i couldn't eat or sleep or think and my vision was screwy and my adrenaline pumped and my ears rang and my heart beat and my breathing was labored. confusion ruled and still i was determined to ride it out like a bad trip. through conversation with friends and internet research i realized i was experiencing withdrawal. it was something i hadn't considered and i was floored by the implications. after researching this site and the horrors contained within it i decided to reinstate sertraline at 25mg on 7-7-16, 3 days after withdrawal symptoms began in the hopes of stabilization and eventual slow taper. as of now it has been about 48 hrs since reinstatement of 25mg once daily in the morning. i realize it takes time for the drug to build and have an effect but i suspect there has already been some improvement. i haven't have a bad reaction and have had limited success with food and sleep so for now i hold and hope. ill hold forever if need be, i can be rather tenacious when properly motivated, even if this is the weakest i have ever felt. it has been and still is quite the roller coaster of fear but i am hopeful…ish.

 

this forum has helped so much already and may prove to be my rock, my arm floaties in rough seas, and my fuzzie kitten for my nerves. thank you. stay tuned for the next freak out!

 

 

Edited by scallywag
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KarenB

Hello Oops and welcome to SA,

 

Thanks for sharing your story and humour with us.  I'm so glad you got yourself back on track with a reinstatement. 

 

It looks like you may have already seen all the relevant links, such as reducing by 10% per month, so I won't list those, but have you seen this?  Non-drug Techniques to Cope with Emotional Symptoms  Learning natural ways of coping is one of the keys to getting through w/d. 

 

Any other questions - just ask!  You sound very strong and determined, which will get you a long way.  I hope you continue to stabilise quickly over the next wee while.  Just remember it takes at least 4 days/1 week, and can take longer in some cases.

 

It's good to have you on board,

Karen

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Petunia

Welcome from me too oops, I'm glad you found us and have been able to reinstate. It sounds like you are beginning to stabilize on 25mg which is great. It looks like you have found your way around the site and have what you need at the moment, so I wont post any more links, apart from this one: Lalochezia! The cursing thread

 

... for when the urge gets overwhelming, see, we think of everything here :)

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oops44

thank you karen and petunia for the responses and especially the links. lots of useful info to dig into and i appreciate it. 

 

withdrawal symptoms seem to be getting less intense and less frequent. hope i can stabilize - the real world starts again on monday morning. 

 

anyone got any tips to increase appetite? I've been eking by on nicotine, water, boost nutritional supplement shakes, and snapple peach tea for a week now and while i have learned a great many things from the snapple facts hidden under every snapple cap i would really dig a square meal and a solid bm. maybe ill buy a blender and make pot roast smoothies. 

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Shep

Lol! Oops, I love your sense of humor.  :P

 

And Oops is a wonderful username for this experience. 

 

This link may help answer questions about increasing appetite and GI issues in general: 

 

Digestive problems: Nausea, Diarrhea, Bloating, GERD

 

Are you having a lot of nausea? That was a huge problem for me, and I found that peppermint and ginger teas helped with that symptom.

 

Welcome to the forum, Oops. Your humor will serve you well. I hope "the real world" experience on Monday is kind to you. 

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oops44

hai shep, i have not experienced any nausea or gi discomfort yet. my lack of appetite seems to stem from the panic and lingering anxiety. sometimes i go through a lull in the buzz and manage to steal a few bites of solid food, other times when around friends i find i have relaxed enough to eat also. it seems distraction is my ally in these anxious times.

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Shep

Karen listed the link to the Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptomsThe first section of this has links to mindfulness and meditations that can really help with anxiety. Well worth a read, I think, because there are a ton of non-drug coping skills for anxiety. 

 

Some of the Body Scan type videos work by relaxing the mind as well as the body and can help release tension that's held in the stomach in the form of anxiety. Perhaps this may help you be able to relax and let go of the anxiety so you can eat. 

 

These are two that I find helpful, one is 45 minutes and the other, a short 10 minutes if the anxiety is keeping you from doing anything longer. 

 

          Jon Kabat-Zinn: Body Scan (approximately 45 minutes)

 

          10 Minute Guided Body Scan Meditation from The Meditation Coach (approximately 10 minutes)

 

And there are tons more out there. 

 

Some members report that fish oil and magnesium help by calming down the CNS. Supplements should always be researched first and then only added in one at a time and at a small dose. Here is more information:

 

King of Supplements: Omega 3 Fatty Acids (Fish Oil)

 

Magnesium, Nature's Calcium Channel Blocker

 

Epsom Salts - Another Way to Relax with Magnesium

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oops44

shep,

i have found the "non drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms" link very helpful and have been picking through it in my free time. in fact, there are so many links linked to other links i have been using it as a starting point for navigating this site.

 

unfortunately i am not ready for meditation just yet. i can't settle down enough to use it to settle down. soon maybe hopefully.

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Shep

If you google "walking meditation" in YouTube, there are a lot of ways of meditating while walking.

 

I couldn't lie down or sit and meditate when I had akathisia waves, so I used walking meditations and it was helpful to "ease" me into a calmer headspace. 

 

Just a thought. I hate to see anyone get run down because the chemical anxiety makes it too hard to eat. 

 

I'm glad you're using the non-drug coping section. It's my favorite section, too. 

 

 

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oops44

shep

walking meditation you say? sounds quite promising…. dare i say you may be a freaking genius! ill check it out now. thanks for the tips.

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oops44

after watching a vid or two on walking meditation i realized that i already had the basics of it down. im fairly active and as such do a fair bit of walking and recognized that some of the things i already do on walks and runs would constitute meditation. took a quick half hour diddy round the block and it seemed to be enough to reset the anxiety meter back to zero, giving me enough time to sneak a decent snack and relax. good call shep! maybe if i was able to think clearly i would have come up with that. it seems so simple - just go for a walk - the rest practically takes care of itself.

 

I've come to imagine my anxiety as a kind of meter or gauge measuring the pressure inside a vessel with a blow off valve. the pressure builds and builds the same way anxiety builds upon anxiety - almost exponentially at times. I've just got to do something to open the blow off valve and release some pressure before the needle on the gauge goes into the red and i have a panic attack.

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JanCarol

Hey Oops!

 

I can't "sit" for meditation, either, though I listen to a body scan or breathing exercise nearly nightly while waiting for sleep to come.

 

I'm more of a "doing" kind of meditation girl, like yoga:

Morning Yoga for the Challenged Nervous System

 

or, if you have 7 minutes to spare (c'mon, what's your excuse, just 7 minutes!):

Qi Gong: 7 Minutes of Magic for Health

 

Some people meditate on their bicycle (if you can exercise - some people are exercise intolerant), I walk in the sun every day and do a bit of tai chi barefoot in the park.  I can do it even when I'm at my most fatigued.

 

Some people like to crazy dance until there is no anxiety left.  Or was that dance crazy?  I can't remember.

 

Welcome, Oops, I'm glad you found us!

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oops44

hey jancarol

I've come across many of your posts whilst cruising the site and i gotta say i like your style. 

 

it has been 8 days since i reinstated. no panic but still have lingering anxiety, though it is easier to manage and less frequent with each passing day i think. food and sleep are still being difficult and only cooperate by force. my head is still foggy and I'm not as sharp as before, which is the most troubling part of all of this. people at work have probably noticed something is off. 

 

energy and spirits remain high.

physical - has never been a problem for me.

mental - has always presented challenges. road blocks would be an accurate description.

spiritual - we haven't been that for a long time. whatever "we" is, we aren't.

 

last week in a panic i made an appointment with a man i know who is obviously misguided about what it is that constitutes my well being. he told me to get back on my original dosage immediately and report back in a week. naturally i protested, and we came to the agreement that i would pretend to follow his advice and see him in a month. we shook on it and i was on my way out as quick as i came in. a revolving door for his office would work wonders for his schedule.

 

it may sound cliche but i find my outlook on things has changed post panic. for the better. somehow. i have motivation to conquer hangups i have that i ignored and buried to be forgotten. (SPOILER ALERT! they just resurface again later) my empathy is at an all time high. I'm taking steps to secure a future for myself. never did that one before. i guess i just never accepted that i would be around this long. i can actually imagine a future where i settle down with someone and just be boring together. it sounds nice now. it wasn't even an option prior. i regret past actions. i really-super-duper-industrial-strength-regret past inactions. i had no use for regret before.

 

….is this feeling that I'm feeling?

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oops44

on my way out the door now, headlong into a high-risk high-reward situation. much is on the line for me emotionally. i feel success could build me up and failure would surely tear me down. presently in control of myself. wish me luck! 

 

to be continued….

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scallywag

Wishing you success -- the high reward!

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oops44

thanks scallywag. everything went very well. i put myself out there and was well received. it was quite encouraging for someone like me who has always managed to avoid any chance of emotional risk and rejection. i hope it starts a new trend in my life because living the way i have been - never risking or sharing anything of or about myself - has made for a very lonely existence….

 

however, all is not well. just one day after arguably some of the best progress i have made in recent memory in terms of life and interpersonal relations, i seem to be backsliding in my efforts for stabilization. yesterday was the worst day I've had since my withdrawal symptoms began. anxiety was off the charts bordering panic. today promises the same. perhaps i have been changing too much too quickly in my quest to fix myself and my situation and my condition. I've spent so much of my life ignoring these things and have so much nervous energy now that i can't help but putter about tinkering with my life like an old watchmaker obsessively fixing a shop full of delicate broken clocks. the problem is I'm more of a bull in a china shop kinda guy.

 

i quit my job yesterday. my reasoning was legit. it was simply too far away when there is so much work i can do that isn't too far away. a 5 hr round trip commute each day on top of 10-12 hrs of work doesn't leave much time for healing. or sleep. or anything. i plan on taking a few weeks off to see whats what with the whole stabilization thing. i have some money and i can take any number of other jobs at any time i choose so it isn't a problem.

 

i have basically been living on the road since 2006. I'm a traveling tradesman of sorts, following the work. I've been in the area i am now for a few years and even with the option of putting down roots i can't seem to stop living as if i were still on the road. renting, living out of a duffle bag, not allowing myself to get too close to anyone. i got into some big work. big money, long hours, hard living. figured i would milk it for all it was worth. 5 years later i looked up and i had nothing but a fancy title and a big bank account while everyone else had lives and families. that never bothered me before but it does now. i guess I'm trying to make up for lost time now.

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scallywag

Taking time for yourself to heal is a great thing, a huge step forward. Congratulations!

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oops44

thanks scallywag, it certainly doesn't feel like a step forward right now though. I'm worried this is going to take a long time to fix. I'm worried i won't even be able to fix it at all. I'm worried I've already wasted so much time ignoring it until i couldn't ignore it any longer and now its blown up into a big un-ignorable mess. I'm worried I'm missing out. worried I'm behind. worried I'm damaged. worried that maybe in need the drugs. worried its too late. worried ill be like this from now on. worried i won't be able to maintain relationships. worry worry worry I'm worried i can't stop worrying, and that is worrisome. wah wah wah woe is me.

 

welp, we will one day wince at the ways we wailed and wasted away while the world watched wondering. 

 

sorry about that. i think the W on my keyboard must have been stuck.

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RachelSusan

Hi oops44,

I am interested in your post because you went off Sertraline (Zoloft) close to the same time I did and you reinstated about when I did.  I have been back on for about 12 days now, however my progress has not been good.  I was not feeling any emotional problems when I was off but I was hit with of tons physical problems, headaches, tremors, brain zaps, hot and sweating without a fever, nausea, dizziness, and so on.  Since reinstating the brain zaps have gone away and most of the nausea.  The other symptoms might be a little less extreme but I have them more frequently. Usually at least 50% of the day. I too am frightened that this will take a long time to fix. By the way, when I was off Sertaline I lost my appetite. Going back on did improve my appetite. Even thought my doctor warned me about tapering I did not as I was dealing with another medical issue and just felt overwhelmed and confused with the amount of medications I was having to take for that problem. It didn't even know that WD existed and for a while I went crazy trying to figure out what strange new illness I had. My other medical issue is now under control but this is a nightmare.   Please keep us posted to how you are doing.

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oops44

hey rs,

if you're taking multiple meds it may be a good idea to run them through the drug interaction checker thingy majob found here: http://www.drugs.com...teractions.html.

 

as far as the update goes my withdrawal symptoms continue to be less severe and less frequent by small increments each day. no new symptoms have manifested so far which gives me hope. i was able to sit at home alone all day yesterday without freaking out too much and this morning i woke up after five hrs of sleep without the instant anxiety i have been experiencing recently. i think i could have even went back to sleep but its important to keep a routine so i got up. mild anxiety has crept upon me in the in the last hour or so. i find it most severe from waking on through the morning. after noon it usually relaxes a bit. I'm not sure what that means exactly but i don't feel like fooling around with taking the med at different times to find out. stability and consistency are my prime directives presently, along with policing my thoughts. its not the existence i want right now but its the one that seems to work best. 

 

there are positives to come of this ordeal and i have posted about some previously in this thread. most have come from the changes in perspective necessitated by the need to maintain sanity. said changes have the added benefit of forcing me to take certain actions in my life i otherwise would never try without the fear of anxiety motivating me. seems it has taken a negative to affect positive changes in myself. like so many things in life its all about perspective. how we perceive the things happening to us determines the effect the things happening to us have. easier said than done i know but theres truth to it. its by no means a silver bullet but it helps.

 

and I'm off to dream up another healing scheme…. hope everyone feels better today than they did yesterday

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RachelSusan

Hey Oops,

 

First off, thanks for replying.  To get a message from anyone going through this is a true gift.  It really helps. As for the  link to drug interactions, it is now in my toolbar. I love it. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I did run my medications through it and found some medications I was told by my doctor I could take that came up with a moderate interaction.  I am trying very hard to not take anything that interacts with my meds right now.

 

I don't know if I should congratulate you on five hours of sleep or offer my condolences. Five isn't enough, at least for me, but if you have been getting less than that then a big high five is called for. To do it though without the instant anxiety upon awakening is off the charts good. I got about six hours last night, still not enough but I'll take it. A lot of middle of the night waking up

for me with shaking and sweating.  Is that TMI?  You know if it wasn't for my insomnia I wouldn't have found out what was going on with me. I had one day/night that I was up 24 hours. Well in the middle of that night I keep googling my symptoms over and over, using different combinations.  I came up with Parkinson's Disease, Benign Tremor, and so on. Finally as the sun began to rise a very special diagnoses came up, Sertraline Withdrawal.  Winner winner chicken dinner!!! So I told myself Insomnia has it privileges.

 

So glad to hear you were able sit in the house alone all day yesterday. That is fantastic. I am only having physical symptoms this time around but I haven't forgotten what anxiety and panic attacks feel like.  They are awful.  I can remember having to leave my house thinking that going some place else would be better.  I would get half way to the new place and then think home would be better.  I would turn the car around and head for home.  One day I got stuck in this loop of going between both places and constantly changing my mind. After about three hours I headed for home.  Anxiety is the worst.

 

Also I hear you about change.  I was majorly into my career before I got sick.  I am not working now, because I can't, however when I come out the other end of this I know I there will be there be changes, because I am different. Anybody on this site that is going through the hell we/they are is going to be changed.  For me, I think those changes will be for the better.  It sounds like possibly the same for you.

 

If you come up with another healing scheme please let us all of us know.

 

Hang in there buddy.  To everybody else on this website, the same to you, hang in there.

 

RS

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scallywag

oops44 -- thanks for mentioning the interactions checker to Rachel Susan.  I dropped that ball. :o

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oops44

no worries scallywag. you're a busy gal, racing around here putting out fires. just remember everything in moderation…. even moderation of SA.

 

its good to hear from you again rs, hope you're doing well. you seem calmer than last night but it may have been me who was distressed and maybe i interpreted everything i read from others as distressed. a little of the old switcheroo perhaps?! who knows? crazy stuff, these glitchy brains of ours. anyhoo I'm glad i was able to help even if just a little.

 

and as far as too much information, we haven't crossed that line yet. I'm not even sure that line exists in a place like this. 

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oops44

alright I've been hesitant to make this update because i wanted to be sure, but…. 

 

i slept 8 hrs last night. i woke once to turn off the ac that i left running because i unexpectedly fell asleep in the first place….and then i went right back to sleep. and when i woke in the morning there was no immediate anxiety. i know what you're thinking and i can already see the post of congratulations from scallywag but wait, it gets weirder. as the day progressed i became aware that i hadn't yet had much anxiety at all to speak of. maybe something akin to mild concern or perhaps restlessness and a desire to do something productive but not anxiety. i know, i know…. thats pretty good right? but wait, it gets weirder still. i decided to go shopping because i was out of fresh fruit. after returning home and browsing for a few minutes i couldn't help but notice i must have skipped the usual little mini panic that is triggered upon entering my dark apartment alone. however there was some sort of nagging feeling somewhere in the depths of my gut i just couldn't seem to shake…. and then it hit me. i was hungry. so i ate, and i ate fairly voraciously and entirely out of hunger. i didn't have to force a single bite. it was quite satisfying to say the least, especially this new yogurt i bought today. greek, strawberry honey. i never knew yogurt could be this good.

 

the only way this could get better is if i manage to clip my toenails without making myself bleed.

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scallywag

LOL about toenail clipping! :lol: Thanks for letting us know about your increased sleep and reduced anxiety today -- it's good to hear that you had an easier day.

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RachelSusan

This is so flippin' fantastic. I see a mani-pedi in your near future, my friend.

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oops44

desirous of a little perspective i wondered into sheps thread. heavy. inspiring. make you laugh make you cry type stuff. anyway i stole this from him so don't tell him: http://www.spirit-animals.com/spirit-animal-totem-generator/ 

 

now you can find out what your spirit animal is! 

 

so far I've had the snake and the dolphin both give me valuable advice concerning the nature, experience, and enjoyment of my sexuality. they are currently top contenders for my coveted totem animal position which just so happens to be vacant currently.

 

also i still feel great and i wish everyone else did too.

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oops44

a little antsy. just a skosh. thats the worst of it today, and thats obviously not bad at all. i would chalk it up to situation not symptom. 

 

thats almost 48 hours without anxiety, without any withdrawal symptoms really. the anticipation and the expectation of a symptom is almost enough to trigger anxiety itself.

 

sleeping eating and clear thinking. seems reinstatement is working for me. i almost feel the way i did before the withdrawal hit but something is different, and i think that something is me. not necessarily a bad thing.

 

so where do i go from here? the plan doesn't change. if i stay like this for a week i declare myself stabilized and hold for 3 months then reevaluate. if i feel ready the begin tapering i will. if not ill hold another 3 months and reevaluate.

 

3 days ago i was bushing my teeth when i looked in the mirror and noticed i looked gaunt. i don't know how much weight i lost in the last 19 days but it looks to be quite a bit, so i guess ill continue to focus on my health and try to fatten up a bit. i can't even begin to imagine how some of the people on this forum have dealt with issues far worse than mine for far longer than 19 measly days, but those 19 days have loomed large in my world.

 

anyway i just wanted to say thank you for helping me when i needed help. it means a lot to me. I'm not out of the woods yet but it looks like the sun might be rising.

 

the black jaguar says I'm finally free now and new opportunities for happiness will now follow. thats an awfully nice thing to say coming from a man eating cat.

 

i hope you're all working out the kinks as well, day by day, and get where you want to be sometime very soon.

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Shep

desirous of a little perspective i wondered into sheps thread. heavy. inspiring. make you laugh make you cry type stuff. anyway i stole this from him so don't tell him: http://www.spirit-animals.com/spirit-animal-totem-generator/ 

 

now you can find out what your spirit animal is! 

 

so far I've had the snake and the dolphin both give me valuable advice concerning the nature, experience, and enjoyment of my sexuality. they are currently top contenders for my coveted totem animal position which just so happens to be vacant currently.

 

also i still feel great and i wish everyone else did too.

 

 

Lol! "him" is actually a "her", a female penguin, in the spirit animal world. :)

 

The spirit animal was taught to me by another mod, JanCarol. We are a happy bunch of spirit animals around here.

 

I'm so happy to read your reinstatement is going so well.  I am a bit concerned about your weight loss, though. You may want to check out the Beyond Meds website for great information on nutrition:

 

Weight loss and diet after withdrawing from psychiatric medications

 

 

 

the black jaguar says I'm finally free now and new opportunities for happiness will now follow. thats an awfully nice thing to say coming from a man eating cat.

 

 

 

I am but a humble penguin, but the "man eating cat" may want to look into getting some protein (preferably from sources other than man!), and eating small meals throughout the day, if possible. Many people find that the low-bood sugar diet is helpful during withdrawal and recovery. This diet is higher in protein and lower in carbs, especially refined carbs.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. I hope the weekend is kind to you.

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oops44

ah crap, sorry about that shep. caught stealing and using the wrong pronoun in a single post when all you ever did was try to help me. shameful. in my defense, those flowers in your avatar pic are very masculine :^) 

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Shep

Lol! I change my avatar every once in awhile. I came in as a german "SHEP"herd puppy, then a woman's silhouette, then a (psychiatric) lab rat. Umm. . . I'll take that under advisement for my next avatar incarnation.  :)

 

 

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Machinehead

This is a great thread OOPS and I hope you feel ok today. You are a great writer! Lots of attitude and humor.

 

Interesting how many of us pill-eaters are gifted ????

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oops44

thanks for the kind words mh. i hope you're seeing progress.

 

mondays, amirite? sheesh. im not even working and i could sense the overwhelming mondayishness of it all immediately upon waking. end of reprieve. reset and do over. the seemingly futile nature of it all, cycling endlessly, marching to the maddening cadence of 5 and 2…..

 

…..or is it a new beginning? a fresh start rife with opportunity for those with vision enough to see and courage enough to act?

 

i, for one, don't want to wait til tuesday to find out

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oops44

"BLAST AND CONFOUND IT!"... i exclaim in my best southern genteel accent. "where ya goin - i say - where ya goin with that casaba melon, boy?" sorry i just watched an hours worth of foghorn leghorn highlights and its effected me….

 

….kinda like these pills are starting to effect me. or is it affect? so tricky, those two. anyway i am beginning to sense my emotions fading away, day by day. my give a damns not busted yet but probably will be soon. when i first started the sertraline those years ago i was so numb, desperate, and occupied i never really noticed the change. all i do is notice things this go round. it makes me wonder what was going on back then that was so important that i couldn't even be bothered to notice i was being blunted inside. i can't recall. not because i don't remember, i do. i can't recall because there is no justification of those actions to recall. it seems i did it to myself on purpose and whatever my reasons were at the time don't hold up under scrutiny today. i sought out the blunting of everything i was. i made the appointment with the doctor, told him what i told him and got what i wanted from him. perhaps i thought i was just too much and needed to be taken down a notch, muted.

 

not fun thoughts, but constructive in my fashion none the less. i will take the experience and build upon it the new me. 

 

the newest me at any rate….

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oops44

gotta offset the gloomy posts and the only way to offset the gloomy posts is with an equal and opposite force. the force…. of corny jokes. easily the 2nd or 3rd most powerful force in the universe….top 5 definitely, depending on the criterion in which you judge them.

 

what does a fish say when he swims into a wall?

dam.

 

*da dum tish!*

 

a piece of string walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender says "bartender give me a drink." bartender says "i can't serve you, you're a piece of string!" so the piece of string rolls himself into a ball and says "I'm a frayed knot!"

 

*big finish!*

 

a dog walks into a saloon limping, on over to the bartender and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

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Shep

Hi, oops.

 

I do like the way you add humor to the forum.  :D

 

But I'm concerned that you're struggling so much. Emotional bluntness or anhedonia is very, very common during withdrawal and recovery. Here's a thread about that: 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2873-anhedonia-apathy-demotivation-emotional-numbness/

 

 

 

 

not fun thoughts, but constructive in my fashion none the less. i will take the experience and build upon it the new me. 

 

 

I like this line - "I will take the experience and build upon it the new me".

 

Yes! This is beautiful. I also have decided to build a new me by creating my own baseline as I go through this process. I take the good stuff and hold onto it and discard the bad. That's the real take-way from all of this. We have control over this part, even if we don't have control over how bad we feel.

 

In other words, this is the part the sucks, but in the end, if we keep adding the good stuff and subtracting the bad, we come out golden. I like mindfulness, music, accepting my introversion instead of labeling it schizoid, so these are things I want to keep. I don't like negative thinking or ruminating, so I'm working hard to leave that behind. It's really hard during withdrawal, but if I can learn to do it now, I'll be a champ at it when I heal. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  ;)

 

How is your appetite these days? I hope you're able to get some good nutritious food down. That always helps.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. 

 

 

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