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Hello: New here... Frustrated and stuck


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On and off meds for the last 7 years. Whenever tried to stop, things just got worse. The last time I tried to stop was Cymbalta. The withdrawal was awful after coming slowly off from 30, to 25 and then off at direction of Psych. I was in physical and emotional pain for 2 months, then had some mania, and then so depressed and anxious that I felt I was going to die. Even though I swore I would never go back on the meds, I felt like I had no choice after looking into the more holistic options and feeling unsure how to go about it all. (And trying some of it with no results) So in desperation I landed up at a new psych, who prescribed me Zoloft, the story is too long, but after losing tons of weight and not sleeping, him putting me on seroquil, which then led to me shaking all over my body, he switched me to zyprexa, as it seemed the Zoloft needed the kick. Well after quickly putting on weight and still not sleeping etc, he put me on trazadone. Sleep didn't get much better. So I asked if I can go off zyprexa, since there are other hormonal issues I have and was afraid of getting diabetes. At first I felt great, for 3 days, and been downhill ever since. I was only on 2.5 of the zyprexa for 2 months, and now reading online, it seems I am having withdrawal. Dr said I should go back to half the dose of the zyprexa. I am doing a very strict diet, can't excercise much cuz feel too weak, though I try when I can. I feel so sad that I was dealing with depression from early trauma and now I feel I can't live my life at all. I've tried so many things, therapy, meds etc and even recently saw an integrative Dr, to try help me get better. It takes time, and I feel so lost by the wealth of info on the Internet and whether to keep trusting Drs which hasn't worked out for me, or go the way of going off meds which was a disaster every time. At this point I don't want to live, everything just seems too much. (I have kids, and feel like I can't be a mother...) worst part is the DRs just say it's my depression and not withdrawal..... There's so much more but I'm not sure how much I should write.

Edited by scallywag
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Hello,

 

So sorry to hear how poorly you've been feeling. You are clearly in withdrawal. All those medication changes have obviously caused significant distress.

 

A moderator will be along shortly to give you more specific advice. In the meantime know you are not alone. So many of us have been right where you are, and we're all pulling for you. Don't give up. You will get through this.

 

Peace, love and healing.

PatriciaVP@AbleWriterSays My Intro

 

Zoloft 150-200 mg- on and off between 1998 and 2004.

 

Lexapro 40 mg - 2004-2013 30 mg 2013 - August 2015 20 mg August 2015- September 2015 15 mg September 2015 - October 2015 10 mg October 2015 -Nov. 1 2015. Nov. 2015 increased dose to 12.5 mg to stabilize. Dec. 28 2015 11.25 mg March 29, 2016 10 mg. August 1, 2016 9 mg. October 23, 2016 8.1 mg. Nov. 29, 2016 7.5 mg. Feb. 25, 2017 7 mg. April 9, 2017 6.5 mg. June 2017 6 mg. Aug. 2018 5.75 mg March 2019 5.5 mg Apr. 2019 5.25 mg. June 2019 5 mg Sept. 2019 4.75 mg Nov. 2019 4.5 mg Dec. 2019  4.25 April 7 2020 4mg 

 

Depakote 1000 mg 2008-2013  750 2013-Dec 2015 500 mg Dec 2015 to Feb 2, 2016. Sopped completely Feb 2 2016.

 

Adderall 40mg 2004-Feb 29, 2016. Feb 29,2016 - reduced Adderall to 20 mg based on pdoc's recommendations. March 29, 2016 - Reduced Adderall to 15 mg. April 30 reduced Adderall to 10 mgs. May 28, 2016 reduced Adderall to 5 mgs.June 8, 2016 stopped taking Adderall due to extreme agitation.

 

Amphetamine 20mg 2008 - 1/16. 1/16 - Stopped Amphetamine completely because pdoc did not renew script.

WWW.PSYCHFREE.NET 

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Wow. I could have written that post myself girl. I feel like I need hospitalization after stopping 5mg zyprexa 6 weeks ago. I think I have had psychotic breaks. Thoughts of suicide, rage, anxiety off the charts, 24 7 headache and no sleep for weeks. My doctor told me when I discontinued and also yesterday and today when I phoned him crying. NOT WITHDRAWAL. There is no withdrawal. Its something else. Look at my med list! I never felt psychotic till I was put on or discontinued antiphsycotics! On a lot of meds prior....but never felt crazy. Depressed. Anxious. Not crazy. He insists there is no withdrawal and made a comment to me "my nurse said you looked online and read the side effects of serequil and refuse to take it" Like I had the nerve to look online and research! Was going to take serequil to find relief. He has REPEATEDLY TOLD ME that none of the meds (sleep aids, antiphsycotics, anti depressants) will produce withdrawal. Its symptoms of something else. Nothing evidently produces withdrawal. When I told him the internet is loaded with just that he still disagreed. It was this brilliance that led me to believe I would be ok. I hate myself for not finding sites like these sooner and feel duped. I am really struggling. Cant function. Weeks and months after many meds..who's little body could take what Ive taken and be ok? I hope you will be ok. I hope I survive this. This last 6 weeks have put the nail in the coffin of my marriage. And Im too sick to make it right. Devastating. Rough 16 yrs starting with a chronic back injury and seeking relief/care. Led to nothing but hell.

Many many meds since 2001. Dont remember them all. Very sad. A nightmare.

2001-Jan 2016 4-5 3-325mg oxycodone/apap per day.

Many years alprazolam 4-10mg per day ceased Jan 2016.

Zolpidem current 10mg. Prior to that months of 10 mg trazadone. Over the years ambien

Years of neurontin, ultram, valium, wellbutrin, Tramodol, diazepam and MANY MANY OTHERS.

Many years paroxetine/paxil ended Jan 2016.

Inpatient hospitalization Jan 2016 cold turkeyed from Oxy alprazolam and paroxetine and put on serequil gabapentine and remorol. Took myself off flipped out and was hospitalized again mid Feb.

Feb 2016-May 25(?) 5/10 mgs. olanzapine/zyprexa and 150mg buproprion.

Dangerously weened myself off last 2 in a week . In trouble.

Started with chronic pain. Then told had depression anxiety insomnia..

No doctor ever explained tapering or the dangers of withdrawal. They would just switch meds. And i took it all in search of RELIEF.

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Yes, I hear and feel ur pain... Thanks for replying.

I feel so done and like giving up, and yet I can't even give up, it's not a choice.... I'm so confused by all the information and what to do... I've tried so many times..

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hello! Welcome to SA!

 

Wow, yours is a classic story of how the psych profession really hasn't got a clue about what these meds do to people and treat side effects of one med with more meds.  This is called polydrugging.

 

If you would be so kind, can you fill out your signature block with your med history, including current meds and dosages?  Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

The reason you had such trouble coming off meds when you tried is because your "slow" tapers weren't slow at all when it comes to the nervous system and what these drugs do to it.

 

Introduction to AD Withdrawal Syndrome

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Please put all the drugs you are taking in the Drug Interactions Checker and copy and paste the results here in your Intro thread.  Bookmark your Intro so you can find it more easily.  This is the place to ask questions about your situation, give updates and generally document your journey.

 

Sadly, doctors know how to put people on these drugs but don't understand how to get them off.  They can't help themselves but to write new scripts when you come back complaining of symptoms.

 

The down mood you are dealing with is part of the suite of Neuro Emotions that are caused by the chemical instability caused by switching drugs or changing dosages or coming off too fast.  It helps to understand that this is not You.  You will want to look into methods of dealing with neuro emotions.  This link explores Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

 

So, please fill out your signature block and read those links; then, come back here with your questions!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Hello.

 

Are you still taking Zoloft? Was your last round of drugs Zoloft plus Zyprexa? What new symptoms do you have since going off Zyprexa?

 

If going off Zyprexa brought new symptoms, you might try reinstating 0.5mg Zyprexa. If that helps, taking the least amount that relieves symptoms is preferable to taking a higher dose because of the side effects, which you've already experienced. You can taper off 0.5mg by tiny amounts later, after you've stabilized for some months.

 

See Tips for tapering off olanzapine (Zyprexa) for how to take a small amount of Zyprexa.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for the replies, I will read them later.

The last round of drugs was Zoloft 200, zyprexa 2.5, and trazadone 50. (He added the zyprexa when seroquil failed me, as my whole body was shaking... And again went off that probably way to fast, he didn't think any issue of it and put me on zyprexa, stating I need something to kick the Zoloft...)

Last week I went off the zyprexa, at suggestion of psych. First three days, I was feeling better than I did in a loooong time, and then it hit me. Started with the feelings of not wanting to be alive, terrible nausea, and then to heart beating really fast, a lil hard to breathe, whole body freezing and shaking, then boiling n sweating, agitation etc... Psych told me to take half of the zyprexa dose last night, which I did by cutting it in half, first part of the night was scary as hell, and then at some point i relaxed a bit and now woke up a bit better, didn't get out of bed yet, so don't know what will be...

I am trying so many natural things but nothing works when these drugs overtake ur body....

(I also am so worried to go off all meds, as I do think I have some sort of dysthymia, since childhood.... Way before I started taking any meds...)

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Spoke to psych this morning. So confusing. He says it can't be withdrawal from the zyprexa, you only get that kind of withdrawal from ssri'S... He said it sounds like a panic attack... If it was withdrawal then when I went back on half the dose, I would feel fine afterwards...., so he says if I really believe its withdrawal I should take a full zyprexa tonight and see if that makes me feel better. If yes, then he may believe its withdrawal... If not, then he wants to add abenzo for panic attack.... This is such a rollercoaster... And so hard to live like this

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hello, 

 

Take what your docs say with a grain of salt.  I wish it was all mandatory for them to read Intros on this forum.   

 

To bookmark this page, go to the top navigation bar of your browser; there should be a drop-down menu for Bookmarks and one of the selections will be "bookmark this page" or something like it.  To find it again, click on Bookmarks again and the bookmarked pages should drop down as a list.  Just click on the one for your page and there you are!

 

As for the interaction checker, when the site spits out the list, you will need to use your cursor to highlight the results.  Here's the process for PCs and Macs:

 

1. Cut or Copy Highlight the Text or Link 

To start the copy and paste process, you need to highlight the text or link that you would like to copy. To do this, move your cursor to the text you would like to copy.

For PC Users Click the left button on your mouse and hold it down. While holding the button down, drag your cursor over the words that you would like to copy.

For Mac Users Click anywhere on your mouse and hold it down. While holding down the mouse button, drag your cursor over the words that you would like to copy.

2. Copy the Text or Link

Once you are finished highlighting, lift your finger off your mouse. But don’t move your mouse. Keep your cursor inside the highlighted text.

For PC Users Lightly click on the right button on your mouse. This time, you will not hold down the button. You’ll see a menu pop up with the options to Copy, Cut, Paste or Delete. Select Copy.

For Mac Users Go to the upper left of your screen to the Edit Menu. Most programs on your computer will have Copy under the Edit Menu alongside other options to Cut, Paste or Delete. Click on Copy.

3. Paste the Text or Link

Now the text is temporarily saved in your computer’s memory, so you can go to wherever you would like to paste it – an email, a form on a web page or a Word document, for example. Place your mouse cursor exactly where you would like to paste the text. If you are copying and pasting a link, you can open a new web page. If you are copying and pasting text into a new document or email, open a new document or email and make sure your cursor is blinking.

For PC Users Lightly click on the right button of your mouse. You’ll see the same pop-up menu as before. This time, click on “Paste.” Voila! Your text should magically appear.

For Mac Users Go back up to the Edit Menu and select the “Paste” option. Voila! Your text should magically appear.

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • Moderator

Hey Hello, we're waiting to help you, but that drug signature is important.  Are you on a phone?

Complete your Signature from Phone or Tablet

 

How To Use Surviving Antidepressants from a Phone

 

It is important that we know for each drug:

When did you start it?  How long were you on it?  Was it taken daily?  At what dose?

and - most important - when and how did you stop it? (dates, please, because "three weeks ago" changes over time!)

 

When we can figure this out, we can better consider what will help you.

 

It sounds like a small dose of Zyprexa did ease your symptoms somewhat, so what Alto suggests:

 

 

If going off Zyprexa brought new symptoms, you might try reinstating 0.5mg Zyprexa. If that helps, taking the least amount that relieves symptoms is preferable to taking a higher dose because of the side effects, which you've already experienced. You can taper off 0.5mg by tiny amounts later, after you've stabilized for some months.

 

Meanwhile, look at the links you've been given, and consider this one:

Non Drug Techniques for Coping with Emotional Symptoms

 

Welcome to SA!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • Mentor

Hello                      and welcome to the group.   Antipsychotics DO cause withdrawals,  all these drugs do.     Zyprexa is a nasty.    I hope you have found a dose, of zyprexa that helps.                 Read all you can on this site, when you can. The realisation of the damage these drugs do,  is the first step of regaining yourself.

 

That doesnt mean, suddenly stopping them, that is dangerous.                 

 

I hope you are feeling better today,

 

Ang :)

1992 Dothiepin 375mg 8 weeks, exhaustion/depression.  Serotonin syndrome, oh yes!  seizures . Fell pregnant, 3rd baby, Nitrous Oxide, 3 weeks mental hospital pp psychosis. zoloft tegretol.

Feb 1996 ct tegretol, tapered Zoloft 8 weeks. as (unexpectedly)  pregnant. Steven died after 3 days.(Zolft HLHS baby).  98 had run in with Paxil, 2 tablets, 3 weeks taper, survived.
2005..menopause? exhausted again. Zyprexa, mad in three days, fallout....  Seroquel, Effexor, tegretol,   and 8 years of self destruction. Failed taper.
Damn 1/4 valium... nuts again! .fallout, zoloft 100mg  seroquol 400mg mirtazapine 45 mg  tegretol 400mg.  Mid 14 3 month taper. Nov 14 CRASH.
Mid 15 ....   75mg  seroquel,  3 x 1800mg SJW  2 week window end of December followed by 6 week wave
5/2 68mg seroquel, 2.5 x 1800mg SJW::::20/2 61mg seroquel, 2.5 x  SJW::: 26/2 54mg seroquel, 2 x SJW::::21/3 43mg seroquel, 1 x 2700SJW :::: 23/4 36mg seroquel 1 x 1800 SJW
15/5 33mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::   28/5 30mg seroquel, 1 x SJW::::;  18/6 25mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::::, 11/7 21mg seroquel 1/2 SJW::, 26/7 18mg seroquel 1/2 SJW:::, 9/8 12mg seroquel :::, 16/8 6mg seroquel ;;;;, 12/9 0 jump.

23/9  3mg.....,  27/9 0mg.  Reinstated, 6mg, then 12mg.............  LIGHTBULB MOMENT,  I have  MTHFR 2x mutations.  CFS and issues with MOULD in my home. So I left home, and working 150km away during week, loving it.

Oh was hard, panic attacks first week, gone now, along with the mould issues.

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