Daisy1: Citalopram side effects causing misery

[brassmonkey]

Hang in there and roll with it Daisy, things will settle out and improve soon.

 

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

[LexAnger]

Just read your whole thread, OMG, I'm so sorry you were hit so badly by cit reaction! I know how much this poison can do if our bodies build tolerance to it. I am myself have been going through the same for years although not as intense as I have been on lower doses and been reducing all the time. I'm glad you didn't need to take the antibiotic, and/ or painkiller. Those can mess up things in a huge way sometimes to someone, never know for sure who and when, but highly risky giving the status of your system.

 

You are not alone, I'm having a similar day bed ridden with heart racing, tight chest and overall sickness on top of many other strange head sensations.

 

Is the heart issue after stopping the cit?

What are the symptoms continuing from the reaction phase, and the ones new since stopping?

Do you find any daily pattern of the symptoms?

 

Being able to go out for dinner, seeing friends is a sine to me that you are still functional in certain ways.

 

Hope you get some relief soon.

Lex

[Daisy1]

Thank you Brassmonkey. Believe me I'm trying so hard. Just tried to explain to my husband that this is not me and was caused by the poison I took and not some underlying mental health problem ! Yes I use to have anxiety and yes in the past it did get on top of me on a few occasions but this is totally different. I don't have panick attacks or anxiety anymore. Its been replaced by the most deep black toxic inhuman depression I can describe. frustrates me that those close to me think I'm having a nervous break down when I know fully well it was those pills. 

[Daisy1]

Hi Lex, sorry to hear you have not been well. I've had heart issues since starting citalopram in June. Some points in the day my heart races quite fast and I tremble. It's so uncomfortable especially when it's in my neck and head. I get eye floaters as well, mainly i see a lot of bubbles and black dots. My symptons don't change much now, been stuck this way for a while. I hope we both have some improvement soon.

[LexAnger]

I'm so sorry Daisy again for the torture you are going through! I now how you feel everyday for this long without improvement!

I remember I had the black dot and floaters at the very early stage taking lexapro eventually it went away. I didn't know those are from the drug so moved along for the rest years until now being hurt badly. I hope so much they will go away soon for you.

 

It's good you didn't stay on it for long,

God has mercy.

Please hang in there, it takes time but they will settle down eventually.

 

Hugs

Lex

[Daisy1]

I would rather lose my vision then put up this twisted depression that robs me of feeling human. I still can't believe this has happened to me, it just won't sink in. Feels like im in a bad dream, and I blame myself for staying on it for so long, and believing a gp over my own feelings. I want to believe I will heal, but it seems impossible at the moment. How anyone can live this way I don't know. If I ever knew there was a 1% chance this could happen I would have never touched it, why are we not told the truth, it's absolutely sickening. This needs to change. Sorry for venting, I don't have many people to speak to regarding this without being told I'm just stressed or having a break down. I wish it was that

[Daisy1]

Had a call from gp surgery and informed me dr healy will not see me as a private patient. I begged her for an NHS referral but she said it would be unlikely due to funding but she said she would see what she could do:(

[KarenB]

You'll heal Daisy.  You're just in that awful place where you can't see it.  But eventually you'll move along a bit and start to see it again.  I think all of us must have trod that gnarly bit of road.  Keep taking steps forward, eventually you'll make it round the next bend. 

[genlady]

I just finished one week on anti biotics and didn't notice any difference in my withdrawals.  

[Daisy1]

Thanks Karen. A part of me is still hoping it's possible to heal despite no windows of normality since the ordeal. I cant really remember what normal feels like.I am very traumatised by it all and prey to feel somewhat normal. I am seeing a neurologist on Saturday to rule out anything.

[Daisy1]

Went to see a neurologist. She said I had serotonin syndrome and said it's caused me to have severe ptsd. Going back for an mri soon.

[scallywag]

What medications are you currently taking? From your signature it looks as if you are taking no medications, and only fish oil as a supplement.

[Daisy1]

I am now only taking fish oil. She said looking at my blood results which I had in June/July while on the drug and the recations I had to the citalopram it was serotonin syndrome.

[reachingforthestars]

Went to see a neurologist. She said I had serotonin syndrome and said it's caused me to have severe ptsd. Going back for an mri soon.

 

This is very important information how differently the same drug can act on the second run. It would be very harmful to advice someone to hold until stabilized after reinstatement if one is actually experiencing reinstatement induced serotonin syndrome. Maybe even slow taper can be dangerous in that case? I think and what i have read there are different levels of serotonin toxicity. 

 

In this thread there were some discussion about serotonin syndrome and how difficult it can be sometimes to diagnose: 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1152-fibromyalgia-caused-by-serotonin-syndrome/

[Daisy1]

Thank you for the link I stayed on citalopram for roughly 6 weeks. No GP during this time diagnosed serontonin syndrome despite my bloods and urine results being abnormal. Instead I was informed to stay on the drug and added others (lorazepam and quetiapine).

 

It was only last saturday 4 months after after stopping everything that I saw a neurologist who said I had serotonin syndrome and all my symptons now are severe ptsd ! I don't belive this can be ptsd.

 

Sure I've had a couple of traumatic experiences in the past, but my symptoms since starting the drug haven't changed much. I still have tinitus at night, constant racing loud thoughts, burning/itchy head sensations, and no feelings besides despair, greif and depression.

 

Im not exagerating when I say I don't even feel like a person. It's pure torture. I read in detail about ptsd and it mentions nightmares and flashbacks, high anxiety. I don't have any of these symptoms. I use to have social anxiety now and again but my body doesn't seem to have these stress hormones anymore. It feels to me as if the drug triggered some virus to attack my brain I'm having an mri next Thursday so will see if there is any visible damage done.

Edited October 27, 2016 by scallywag
white space / paragraph breaks added

[reachingforthestars]

Both serotonin syndrome and WD syndrome are poorly recognised by physicians.

 

Here's a story of a woman who suffered from drug toxicity and her psychiatrist didn't notice that but luckily her neurologist did.

 

https://beyondmeds.com/2008/06/17/shelbys-recovery-story/

 

 

 

Did/do you experience akathisia? 

 

It will take some time after drug toxicity to heal and you may have some WD symptoms too... 

[scallywag]

Daisy, Your experience when on citalopram was likely due to adverse effects from the medication. Serotonin syndrome is difficult to diagnose when it's occurring and probably more difficult to diagnose 4 months after the last dose of any psychiatric medication, even by any of the world's top neurologists.

 

At any rate your symptoms are what you are dealing with now. The lack of feelings is called anhedonia, and is one of those unpleasant symptoms of withdrawal.

 

Let us know how you do with the MRI and then, if you want, the results.

[Daisy1]

I'm hoping my gp will let me see healy soon. I expect he has met a few people like me before and will be able to shed some more light. I just prey for relief from this soon.

[Daisy1]

I have received the letter from my neurologist she states 'in my opinion I suspect she had a form of serotonergic syndrome. The symptoms I can't explain are the floaters and I have referred her to one of my eye colleagues to look at this.'

 

I felt strange the day after taking the first dose highly anxious but I did not vomit, lose my apetite or have the intrusive thoughts and acute paranoia until 3-4 days afterwards. Either way, I've been poisoned.

[Daisy1]

Did/do you experience akathisia? 

 

It will take some time after drug toxicity to heal and you may have some WD symptoms too...

I'm not sure what akathisia is ? When I went extremley manic I felt extremely agitated and was pacing up and down for days, couldn't sleep a wink but didn't feel in pain besides my head burning.

[reachingforthestars]

 

Did/do you experience akathisia? 

 

It will take some time after drug toxicity to heal and you may have some WD symptoms too...

I'm not sure what akathisia is ? When I went extremley manic I felt extremely agitated and was pacing up and down for days, couldn't sleep a wink but didn't feel in pain besides my head burning.

 

 

Sounds like you had akathisia... it is extreme agitation and restlessness you cannot sit still or lie down or relax, it is pure torture. No words can describe it.

[scallywag]

I've moved posts not about Daisy's individual situation to the appropriate topic in the Symptoms forum. Anyone wishing to continue this discussion is advised to do so at this link: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5711-serotonin-syndrome-or-serotonin-toxicity/page-2?p=254642#entry254642

[andy013]

Hi Daisy, is it possible that you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms because you discontinued so fast? I know initially you had an adverse reaction when starting the citalopram, but maybe that was because you were on too high a dose. I often see people who take the same dose they were on before for a second time and this happens. However, it doesn't look like you tried to stabilize on a lower dose for any significant period of time before discontinuing completely. I understand that when you have a reaction like this your first instinct is to come off the drug as fast as possible but perhaps that exacerbated the problem.

 

Maybe going back on a very low dose to see how you respond would be helpful. Although I understand if you are reluctant to do this after what happened.

 

Your only other option is to wait it out and see, but that could take a long time before you notice significant improvements.

 

I don't want to scare you but I had a similar reaction to citalopram over 5 years ago. I still have symptoms to this day. I improved hugely since the first months and I feel like I've been unlucky with certain symptoms remaining but part of me wishes that I had tried to stabilize on a low dose back then as it may have made things easier. Of course it could have also made things worse so only you can make the decision. At the time I was like you; my thought process was to just get off the drugs and recover and be drug free for the rest of my life, after realize what a mistake I had made to start them in the first place.

[Daisy1]

Thanks for your suggestion Andy. I honestly don't think it would help me. I don't have typical WD symptoms like most people here. No windows or waves, or anxiety. I think if I had stayed on it any longer my kidneys would have packed up.

[Daisy1]

I've had a cold the last couple of days. Feels like all my sinuses are blocked. The head sensations and tinnitus at night are worse and I've noticed my limbs just moving on thier own accord. I didn't think this could get any worse. I really don't think my family get how bad this is. They think I'm home all day relaxing on the sofa, watching TV. I can barely concentrate on anything and haven't felt a moment of relaxation or normality since I started this poison. Is there such a thing as mental akhitisia? Sorry very bad couple of days here.

[Chicago77]

Need some advice please. This morning I have woken up with horrible neck and head pain on my spine. I don't know what is better (safe to take) paracetrmol or ibuprofen ? Or should I try am alternative ?

Daisy, 

 

So strange, but I had the exact same thing happen to me 2 days later from when you posted this. My sister was visiting me and I was standing in my kitchen when I had severe pain from the middle of my spine all the way up to my head. It hasn't been as severe but still sore. Has your's gotten any better? 

[Daisy1]

It happens to me on and off more so if I'm stood in the same or sat in the same spot for too long. I hope it eases up for you.

[Daisy1]

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I was normal 5 months a go, just got a new job, looking forward to the future, I thought these pills would help me. I feel so detached from reality now and life and cannot feel anything. Nothing gives me any pleasure or comfort, peace. I can't stop thinking about what's happening me to, thinking I may have to endure this for years. My husband is sick and tired of it, everyone is. I feel like such an embarrassment on my family. I just don't know what to do, I keep thinking about suicide. How on earth can this happen? Why are we not told what these pills can do ?

[Daisy1]

I was never depressed before I took these pills, just had anxiety about starting a new job. Why did i ever take these ? My entire personality has been erased. How is anyone suppose to live like this day in day out ? Every emotion I had, gone. Short term memory shot to bits. This is hell

[scallywag]

Daisy, I'm sorry you are dealing with unpleasant and distressing symptoms.
 
It looks as if you've been through many medication changes this year.  It may take some time for your symptoms to settle down, but they will.  How long it will take is affected by many factors, nobody has a good handle on what the main influences are. Nobody, therefore, can predict what your recovery will look like.
 
Do what you can to learn coping skills. You'll find ideas and discussions in these topics:
 
Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms -- the ideas in this thread are helpful as well for cognitive and physical symptoms
Cognitive problems: brain fog, blank mind, memory issues.
Anhedodia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness .
The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

It took me a little while to figure out your medication history. Here's what I came up with to help me understand:

2010: Fluoxetine 40mg, made me very drowsy.
2011-14 Citalopram started. Tapered off over 2 weeks. Mild WD symptoms, brain zaps.
June 2016 20mg Citalopram for anxiety, had severe adverse effects. Doses: 20 mg-10 days; 10 mg-7 days; 15 mg-7 days; Quick taper due to reaction: 20 mg-7 days; 10 mg-7 days; 5 mg-5 days
June 2016: 0.5mg  lorazepam / 2.5mg diazepam every other day; stopped C T after about 2 weeks
July 2016: 25mg quetiapine.
Aug 1, 2016 Stopped citalopram
Aug 3, 2016 Stopped quetiapine
Taking fish oil

 

Would you take a few minutes to simplify your signature so that your medications history is really obvious for your occasionally muddle-minded moderators?  If the information above is correct, you can copy+paste it into your signature.

 

Thanks!

Edited November 17, 2016 by scallywag
added request for updated signature

[Godiswithme]

I was put on 40mg of citalopram and I started getting terrible side effects my hair even started falling out, funny enough I was on it for about 3 years and I was fine I came off it for a short time and my depression relapsed so they put me back on them but the second time it was like taking a different drug altogether . I was moved onto 60mg of Prozac

How are you doing now?

[Godiswithme]

Daisy1, my heart goes out to you. I am going to follow you so I can see when you improve. Sending love and prayer.

[Djderek]

Daisy. I've been through what your going through. It's a chemical induced depression. It took some time to recover but it happened. Just try your best to have hope

[rowinghippy]

Daisy, I'm in a similar boat. My adverse reaction was less acute and hormone related, but I'm dealing with those side effects as well as wd at the moment. But I understand the shame, knowing this will last a long time, seeing your old life disappear, and the difficulties with others (lost my gf a couple months back bc of this). I'm truly sorry. I don't have anything to offer to you, as I am constantly suicidal myself. I just wish that healing in some form comes to you. 

[Daisy1]

Sorry to hear that rowinghippy, I really wish you healing and positive vibes your way. D

[Daisy1]

Still no windows since reaction in June. Dissociation and anhedonia, vison problems very severe. This is not living my brain feels fried. I have been in hospital last few days to have a wisdom tooth removed that become badly infected by an abcess. I had no choice but to be put under general, and have metronizodole and coamoxiclav on iv, injected fentanyl, zopiclone for sleep one night , codeine etc. Feel so fatigued and tired of all this.