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RoxanneS

Anyone think about death a lot?

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RoxanneS

I'm not suicidal as I have small kids and I could never do this to them and to my husband.

But I think of death every day and how nice it would be to get relief from all this:(

 

Is this common in withdrawal and will it go away?

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Sean

Hey Roxanne, I had death weighing on my mind every single day for quite a while when I first started with my AD withdrawal. It was unbearable waking up every day with that weighing on my mind wondering if I was going to be like that forever. Some months passed and it became less frequent...and now 2 and a half years into WD, I'll have that thought pop in my head every so often for no reason what so ever...but the only difference is it's usually when I'm sick, or about to get sick, which makes my WD symptoms worse. I'm able to recognize that the thought isnt rational and I just kinda kick it to the curb and move on with my day. It does get better though. I never wanted to commit suicide, but those thoughts of me just not being here so I dont have to deal with all of this use to rush through my mind constantly. It would literally scare the hell out of me because I know I'm not a dark person, I see the good in everyone and everything. That darkness does go away over time...just keep looking ahead for the light :)

 

From what I've read of others journeys with WD, it seems to be fairly common for the most part depending on how severe the WD's are..so you're definitely not alone!

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Terry4949

Hi Roxannes I have been in withdrawel for 3 years now and when I first started I had it every day from the moment I woke up I would start to think about it , I like you am not suicidel but would think how much easier it would be if I was not here and it would shorten my suffering , all I can say is it's something you have to learn to reconize as a inappropriate thought and try your best to ignore it , for me 3 years on I still get these thoughts but I said to my self I am not going to commit suicide so unless I die from some major illness I am not going to pay it any attention , I am hoping as my brain repairs it self that this will diminish in time , I wish you well

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RoxanneS

Thanks guys for your answers, they give me hope.

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Junglechicken

Yes, I have thought about death a lot, most particularly in WD, and my age.

 

There was a period of 2 months where I experienced suicidal ideation, but that passed thankfully.

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Tweet

I have had suicidal ideation, hoping if I drive enough I will get hit by an 18 wheeler or have a blowout and flip over and die. 

It continues to this day and I am at 14 months. I wouldn’t commit suicide because I couldn’t do that to my kids. 

Sometimes I wish I were free to just do it. 

These are daily thoughts. 

Hope they go away.

 It is just the suffering talking.

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Nelly

I have been saying for a long time.....I don’t mind if I go now. Life is too difficult x

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