Tomash

[Tomash]

Hi there. I am making the report. Its quite terrible. I withdrawed from Amisulprid completely and received a paranoia attack. I think that I went too fast. I went from 50mg to 25mg to 0mg every week. I underestimated that pill. I thought that if it targets only two receptors and if I am ok all the months from 200mg-25mg and nothing happen, it would be alright. But it went crazy.

There was another issue. When off amisulprid, I started to realize many problems in my life - in my job, in my partnership, all relations seem destroyed. I realized I have no money and have problems all the way through my carrier. I realized that I published an article in a national magazine which in fact describes, how stupid I am. I also realized how stupid was my diploma. All that came suddenly and I dont know yet what to do with it, I even considered immigration (my form of suicide, I would say).

Than I visited my transpersonal therapis but I wasnt able to follow his instruction and I ended up in a community psychiatrist who prescribes me meds. He seemed to me reasonable previously, giving me quite a lot freedom, but now I dont know how much to trust him. He said I should not go back to amisulprid and rise zyprexa instead. It seems to me a better choice. Problem whas with my sleep - I havent slept for two days at all, having anxiety and strong hard beats etc. and then other days I slept only 4 hours. Yestereday he raised my dose to 10mg and said it would be only for a while. But said its up to me. I must make decision today. Yesterday night with 10mg I slept whole night and paranoia is gone. But I always feel I am loosing something important when medicated.

I also realized other disturbing things. I may start to be buddhist instead of yoga practice I did last year. Because now my yoga life style seems to my like a catastrophe. I was using ayurvedic herbs mixtures I made not punctually in the sense of the ratio of the herbs and I feel there is quite more risks in ayurveda. It seems to my so wild know, while buddhist practice safe. But I dont know yet. Meanwhile, I still do yoga to do at least something.

I am not in my job as I was really paranoid and started to feel other serious problems there. Same with my relationship. Today, I started to be mindfull. I started to calm quite a lot. I just do something, not thinking about all the issues I have. I am starting to believe that I have not a strong psychosis as such, but rather interpersonal issues and some personality type matters. I am thinking about starting with DBT.

[Tomash]

I am really sorry for my English, I am not grounded yet.

[whitelily]

hi Tomash, I'm really sorry to read that you have not been well.  I hope that you find some helpful coping strategies soon as a way forward and to recover and heal.  

 

I guess its early days, but I wondered how you are getting on now?

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelily,

 

Though late, I would like to describe how I am. It is painfull, but I ll try my best.

 

When I got off amisulprid, I became paranoid, but I didnt know it. It was spring. I remember that I worked hard, more then 40 hours a week. I did social work, administrative work and gardening to stay grounded - I had 2 jobs. I was in touch with my doctor, who is a bit modern kind of psychaitrist, who supports me to live with as little meds as possible. He told me that time I should be more self-disciplined and less self-critique. I agree now.

 

In the late spring, I realized that one of my job is comletely terrible. It was a Camphill, but the leaders are quite crazy, and many people quit in first few months because of the personality of the leader. Also, the farm is near a 2WW work camp, and energies are not good there. I worked 2 days a week in that farm, 1day had homeoffice and 2 days in gardening company elsewere. When I was in the farm, I started not be able to sleep. In couple of weeks, I got  insomnia (being on 6mg of zyprexa). In that time, various people told me to take various doses of zyprexa - the result was that I didnt take a dose regularly. My brain was squeezed.

 

I quit the Camphill after the discussion with my therapist, who is a modern as well, but I feel he was a bit hostile towards me from the beginning. I couldn follow his advice, though I tried. I was stressed, being in nervous state all the time, from morning to evening. 

 

In that state, I left to my friends village outside the city. One of them is in to ayurveda. I discussed the matter with her. She seemed reasonable, but I was stressed and broken already. She told me I am not much welcomed there - that was my impression, I think right now. I got back and I wanted to start to work full time in gardening company to stay grounded and in touch with reality. But i realized, that my position there is terrible, some of the workers laughed at me. I dont know exactly why. I was unconcentrated last few months, and was with spirit elsewere - in the Camphill. I worked hard, however, and they wanted to give me a conctract. In that time, I broke up with my girlfriend, because of my paranoid thinking. Only few weeks ago  I realized they were paranoid. I am preparing to write her a latter and maybe to talk with her about everything in a calm manner, but I dont give it a much chance.

 

In that time, i realized that my family is probably behind my problems (if I should not start to talk about karma...). There is so much discussion about it in the Mad in Americe articles, about trauma, neglect etc.  I avoided them, they always give me advices, money and no empathy at all, often being very judging. One weekend, I woke up in the night and cut my hands. There was a reason, which I dont want to talk about here now, but the reason is rather solved now. When I cut myself, I got to a hospital.

 

In the hospital, i tried to follow therapeutic advices - this time, I wanted to cooperate. But during around 2 months,  I realized that the therapy there will not help me. I read the story of Greenberg, who in 60th got one hour therapy everyday for 3 years before she was released from the hospital. I got 15mins 2x times a week. The rest of time staying in my room as a vegetable. So i quit the hospital and get back to my doctor, who told me not to stay there, because its useless and he was right. He promised me to have a therapy to solve my problems in the job. But I got only a social worker without training, who reffered me to another counsellor who told me to talk to a personalist. I could work with them, but i have a strange feeling about that. It seems like a social service, not a healing people, you know. 

 

During my stay in hospital, I got overtrained. From January, I was working physically hard, and doing hard dynamic yoga and other sports. I got overtrained. I also realized, that dynamic yoga is really an intensive matter, and that various teacher warn against doing this yoga with psychosis. Unlike my teacher. So a quite him and started to do therapeutic yoga everyday. Since that time, I am a bit more calm and grounded. I cannot do sports much, but the overtraining gets better. I hope to have a much more healthy attitude towards exercise then I did before.

 

Because of that, I work only 2 days a week in the gardening company. I am a bit short of money. I also need to move to another flat in couple of months.

 

It seems all quite terrible and unstable, but apart from the yoga also other thing changed. I started to be really very cautious of the meds.

 

In the hospital, they gave me abilify without any discussion. When released, i lowerd down the dose, but with 3KKK method, even more cautious, e.g. now I have a flu, so I am not lowering down the dose, etc.

 

What I feel now is, that on such a dose its difficult to do any complicated job. I am looking for an office job before my body gets ready for gardening. I also signed for an astrologist session - I want to know, what my occupation targets should be. I feel ungrounded, especially last 2 years. I think that when I am well in the job, 80% problems with withdrawel are solved. The other thing is that I must somehow try to repare my relationships. I dont have a clear vision of the future, yet, but I know I will have to be quite more rigorous, stable and cautious about the meds. That psychosis can come very slowly, unrecognized, its really tricky.

 

Edited September 24, 2017 by ChessieCat
added spacing

[whitelily]

Hello Tomash,

 

I didn't realise you had replied - I'm so sorry.  I just signed in after a long break and am having some trouble concentrating, but it looks like you have tried lots of approaches to getting well. I can relate to what you are saying about the psychosis starting slowly and coming up on a person rather sneakily.

 

In my own case, I came to a halt, and rely on my faith in God and prayer, but I am not very well physically now, so I have accepted for the time that I am unable to progress much until such time as I get stronger.  

 

Wishing you well,

 

Whitelily

 

 

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelily,

 

yes, psychosis starts slowly, and then bursts suddenly. That is probably why here on guidlines it is written to halt lowering dose even when smallest symptoms occure. Right now, I halted as well. I was on abilify for couple of months, when it started slowly to feed my paranoia. Luckily, I got a recommendation from a doctor/pharmaceut, my friend and recovery oriented, who told me to emidiately cold turkey withdraw abilify, higher the dose of zyprexa to 20mg for couple of weeks. I did (my intuition, which I am trying to use more recently, said so) and in 3 weeks I was out of paranoia and now I am just on 10mg of Zyprexa, stabilized, for around a month. My vedic astrologist told me to halt and rebuild my life (do you know/remember Will Halls guidelines? If you need meds, this may mean you must get higher your quality of life..) so I am trying now, heading back to my career of social work/HR. When I will rebuild my life, and planets and stars are happy with that, I will withdraw (in around 2 years I hope). I feel much more secure now.

 

But of course, I dont know your situation. Maybe for you it is the best you can do now (rely on faith and prayers). I remember Will Hall was also quite a confident person and all he needed was "natural medicine and spiritual teachings" when he finally succesfully withdraw to zero.

 

 

 

[whitelily]

hi Tomash, its good to hear you sound more settled and hopeful, looking ahead.  When you said that abilify 'fed your paranoia' - i'm guessing you mean that your paranoia increased after being prescribed it.  

 

My brain seems to be so sensitive now, I'm not sure how to calm it down other than hold and wait.

 

I wish you well for your next steps forward.   

 

  

[Tomash]

yes, my friend pharmacist told me that abilify might cause paranoia when prescribed with zyprexa. I apologize for my poor English..

[Tomash]

sensitive brain? do you mean emotionally? I was half year back too. I finally decided to leave all supplements and start eating properly - I eat fish at least 2 times a week, I also eat organic chicken. It helped me a lot. For calming mind when reducing dose, I used valerian, because it targets same receptors as Zyprexa. But nothing more, to much herbs or supplements really make a chaos in the body. I realised how grounding techniques are important - not only yoga and meditation, but sport, especially swimming and workout, helped me a lot. Now I work as a gardener, and I feel nothing can stress me out.  I am planning to do a sport intensively again when I get back to social work.  

[whitelily]

hi Tomash - I meant I have become extremely sensitive to dose reduction at the moment, even though I'm still taking quite a lot of antipsychotic medication, and yes when I try to cut the dose I am much more emotionally sensitive. I think it must be the amisulpride mainly that has caused the problem because I found it so very difficult to get off and am still on 50mg of it (with abilify).    Also, my ability to sleep has been affected - currently I'm just getting 2-6 hours a night.  

 

I'm glad that you found that diet helped and grounding techniques.  I'm now making a mental note to look at my diet again.

 

Gardening sounds very grounding - I hope it works out for you with the social work though if its what you would like to do.       

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelly,

 

I would like to give you just some suggestions to think about (I hope I am not daring to much). You have a very low dose of amisulprid, so its time to be sensitive - I had the bigest problem when I was on nearly zero of amisulprid. On the other hand, amisulprid and abilify are both activeting drugs, and especially abilify has the insomnia as a side effect. It doesnt make much sense that they put you on these two drugs together, but they are always doing stupid things. I just want to say that this might be a problem as well, but it would be better to consult it with somebody who really understand it, for example with a doctor from Mad in America.

 

Other thing I have in mind is, that I started to feel recently, that this forum Surviving antidepressant is full of very usefull advices, but sometimes too much stress is given on the chemical side of the problem. I mean, that as myself concerned, I realized there are things in my life I have to change before use all these usefull chemical advices. For example, I know a person, who had spent years hospitalized and drugged, and finally everything was solved and ok when he moved from his parents to his own flat. Of course, there is a problem that when somebody is drugged it is difficult to make changes in life as well as doing anything else, so for example I want to do gardening for some months before I get to a lower dose to be able to do some more rewarding job.  I dont know, whether you are fine with everything, it may be true that your insomnia is caused by the drugs only, on the other hand something else might be important as well.

[Tomash]

Hello Whitehilly,

 

I have just one more suggestion - just a common sense. It is written here on Surviving antidepressants that you should first withdraw the more activeting drug because it might otherwise disturb your sleep. My experience is, that abilify is quite more activeting then amisulprid and may cause insomnia. Wouldnt it be better if you withdraw abilify first? I dont know whether I am giving you a good suggestion or not, but thats what the common sense sais. I also dont know, whether it is not to late, because you are already on a low dose of amisulprid, but you may think about it or get a more professional advice.

 

 

[whitelily]

hi Tomash, sorry I've had flu like illness for a month and haven't been keeping up and am still quite run down.

 

Hope you are okay?  Are you holding on your current dose?

 

Thanks very much for your advice.  At the moment I don't feel I can do anything because I've been so physically unwell.  But I shall post on my thread about it.

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelily,

 

thank you, I am ok. I am holding on 10mg of Zyprexa. I somehow started to be able to wake up and stand up in the early morning despite the sedation.

 

I moved from my parents flat to my own flat, and I feel much better. I am discovering how psychosis is in my case (and most of others, probably) related to my family dynamics and childhood trauma.

 

I am also applying for a part time social work job. I feel its maybe the right time to start a little bit and also gardening is not much available in the winter.

 

I am short of money. I made a budget for the year and it seems that natural medicine and a good therapy is really expensive matter, and I am looking for ways how to survive and make them less expensive. I am trying a psychological method from a book instead of psychotherapy. Its not an ideal state, but it works a little bit and hope it ill work more.

 

I am looking for the spring, which is the right time to lower the dose, at least from the nature point of view. I hope and pray everything will go the right way.

 

I wish you to be fit soon and continue with recovery, especially wish you to succed in repairing your sleep. How do you sleep now?

 

 

[whitelily]

3 hours ago, Tomash said:

Hello Whitelily,

 

thank you, I am ok. I am holding on 10mg of Zyprexa. I somehow started to be able to wake up and stand up in the early morning despite the sedation.

 

I moved from my parents flat to my own flat, and I feel much better. I am discovering how psychosis is in my case (and most of others, probably) related to my family dynamics and childhood trauma.

 

I am also applying for a part time social work job. I feel its maybe the right time to start a little bit and also gardening is not much available in the winter.

 

I am short of money. I made a budget for the year and it seems that natural medicine and a good therapy is really expensive matter, and I am looking for ways how to survive and make them less expensive. I am trying a psychological method from a book instead of psychotherapy. Its not an ideal state, but it works a little bit and hope it ill work more.

 

I am looking for the spring, which is the right time to lower the dose, at least from the nature point of view. I hope and pray everything will go the right way.

 

I wish you to be fit soon and continue with recovery, especially wish you to succed in repairing your sleep. How do you sleep now?

 

 

hi Tomash,

 

So glad to hear you checking back in with an update.  I too believe that psychosis has been due both to family dynamics and trauma in my own situation.

 

I hope that the part time job application works out - but whatever happens, please do  be kind to you.   

 

I  can understand the difficulties of being short of money and yes, agree that therapy/natural medicine can be expensive.  So working part time if you are able does seem like it could be the best way forward.

 

My sleep varies - definitely if I overeat on carbs/sugar I am in trouble and wake every couple of hours because of the diabetes diagnosis.   Sometimes I just sleep when I can - lavender oil is an inexpensive help as well as camomile tea - also going to bed early is better because then if you do wake later at least hopefully you've had some rest.  If i wake sometimes I pray.      

 

 

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelily,

 

I see it must be difficult right now for you to keep going. Whenever I have a physical ilness, psyche goes wrong too.  I wish you to be fit soon.

 

[Tomash]

I must add: my father has the diabetes and he is fit quite a lot. So I wish you a good management of that too. I also heard there are natural remedies for that too.

 

I keep my fingers crossed,

 

Tomas

[Tomash]

 

Hello,

 

I have got some update, which is related also to this site and advices given here.

 

Recently, I had an outbreak of psychosis, which lasted for about one day.

 

First I was adviced by my friend-farmacologist who does some activism, to lower from 10mg 7,5mg at once. I somehow felt it would be alright and I trusted him, because he literally saved me in autumn 2017. But it wasnt. In 7 days, I was under some, though little, pressure in my new job, and challanges related to my housing (I have to do a lot of work in my new flat to feel comfortable there, and its related to money a lot). That night I slept only 5 hours and the next day I though - “well, this is not good” and went back to 10mg. I did some ayurveda measures for good sleep and psychosis. I also remembered my ayurveda doctor telling me “be present with feelings, but use reason sometimes as well”. So I decided to go slower and get back to guidlines invented here on surviving antidepressants. I am now on 9mg, stabilized and I plan to go something around 10% in around 2-3 weeks (I guess I am still on a big dose to be able to do it in such a speed). Also, I considered my history of tapering and I think I am one of those more sensitive people..

In the same time, I took a sick leave and I am doing some work on my home. I will be finished by weekend and then continue with my new job. I remember my astrologist advice to “do only I risk at a moment in your situation”. Similar to statetments here on surviving antidepressants...

Finally, I got an idea to listen to my ayurveda doctor a bit more - I made a list of advices he gave me - most important are probably “present moment - feelings” and “be more resilient”. I ll see what it will do…

I think this was the first time when I stopped my extreme state of mind solely by myself. I dont know whether I am proud of it, well, I am happy that I am starting to be able to manage this whole thing somehow..

Also, I think you felt that I am not ok, in such situation I usually give people strange advices :(, hope its ok now.

[Tomash]

On 21. 1. 2018 at 12:44 PM, whitelily said:

hi Tomash,

 

So glad to hear you checking back in with an update.  I too believe that psychosis has been due both to family dynamics and trauma in my own situation.

 

I hope that the part time job application works out - but whatever happens, please do  be kind to you.   

 

I  can understand the difficulties of being short of money and yes, agree that therapy/natural medicine can be expensive.  So working part time if you are able does seem like it could be the best way forward.

 

My sleep varies - definitely if I overeat on carbs/sugar I am in trouble and wake every couple of hours because of the diabetes diagnosis.   Sometimes I just sleep when I can - lavender oil is an inexpensive help as well as camomile tea - also going to bed early is better because then if you do wake later at least hopefully you've had some rest.  If i wake sometimes I pray.      

 

 

Hello Whitelily, 

I was wondering how are you, now?  

[whitelily]

hi Tomash,

I'm fine thanks, resting on my current dose and briefly updated my thread.  it was very kind of you to explain so much about the med interaction to me which I've just been rereading.

 

There is a book by a Christian engineer Dewaynne McCulley called Death to Diabetes which gives what he considers to be the ideal diet for diabetes.  Since following his guidance my cravings have been alleviated to a large degree.  A lot of information is available for free on his website.

 

How are things now?   hope your okay.

 

Whitelily

 

[Tomash]

Hello Whitelily,

 

nice to hear from you. I feel thats the best way you are doing, to look for natural remedies somehow related to your faith. My father has diabetes and I also made blood tests last week because antipsychotics are main danger for that. I am ok. I also discussed diabetes on facebook in my countrys page, which is a kind of Mad in America facebook in our country. There was a girl with diabetes caused by antipsychotics. I also worked with an autistic boy who had diabetes and challanging behaviour. From these few experiences I must agree with you that the proper diet is the key, I would add also physical condition and weight.

 

As for me, I tried a couching. I had the opportunity with a good coach and I was thinking like "if my recovery now depends on how to solve my problems with job and money", than this could be helpfull. And its really good, its not patologizing and its very empowering. I will do some couple of sessions more. Sofar, I work part time as a social worker and part time gardening and it somehow works for me. I am also trying to find ways how to be more close to what I want in those areas.

 

Regarding recovery, I now exercise yoga 1,5 hours a day and I try to figure out ethical code of yoga (its similar to christian one). From psychological point of view, I am learning how to be more assertive and compassionate. As for natural medicine, everything is still the same - I eat ayurvedic way, but I eat fish, eggs and refrain from gluten. I think it works.

 

I have one tip in my mind, if you dont mind - have you read books by Robert Whitetaker? In The anatomy of an epidemic there is a long description of a story of a woman, how she withdraw from antipsychotics with the help of a very supportive christian church. I just recalled it when I was reading your thread...

 

 

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi tomash, 

 

How have you been doing? Sending hugs🤗

[Tomash]

Hello Camie,

 

thank you for your message, I send hugs too.

 

Its rather not good, I will tell you briefly. Last year in winter, I started to work in a state department as a social worker. They promised me it would be a calm little-stresfull job. However, the opposite is true. Its much more psychologically demanding then working in charity or non-profit. More even in these times when everyone is strained. In spring, i started to be a bit psychotic. I was also lowering my dose, however not faster then recommended here. I also couldnt be able to find a way out of my inner chaos. I still had quite a lot recommendations from different resources (ayurveda, vedic astrology, yoga, psychotherapy and my doctor) and didnt know which one to use.

 

When I started to be psychotic, I went for a sick lieve, but it was just in time. I made quite a big chaos in my job. Fortunately, I was able to arrange everything so nobody was hurt, including me. When I was in sick leave, I was doing sports and ayurveda and started to be more stable. In the summer, my contract was cancelled (by both sides).

 

Then in september, I was a bit confused about what to do next. I had an idea to change my medication from Olanzapin to Kvetiapin. I was starting to be afraid of diabetes and overall demotivation. But I made a terrible mistake. And ofcourse, as usual, psychiatrists didnt help at all. I was searching in the google and I had the impression that kvetiapin is a similar drug to olanzapin, though without GABA receptors effect, so I guessed that by the change I would be a bit anxious but not psychotic. What I didnt know and my doctor didnt tell me, was that kvetiapin targets only 7 receptors while olanzapin 12. so its quite a big change and I felt it, but didnt know what was happening.

 

i started to have a broad range of emotions, I started to enjoy trainings and work etc. But slowly I was more and more unstable. I started to work in warehouse, where I liked the job, however tough people are there. Finally, I started to be ambivalente, a bit paranoid, thin (I lost 10 kgs) - these are my symptoms. I also started to have a big remorse regarding my drug use many years ago. That is also happening when I am psychotic. So I did a wrong step (I read in an ayurveda good recourse, that in psychosis a person takes steps which usually worsen the situation) and went to psychiatric hospital, wanted to be taken to addiction unit.

 

What happened next was a classical hospitalization. The only difference was that this time it was only my wish, my responsibility and no-one else was ncluded in my decisions (family, doctors..). I was somehow just watching what I did to myself. And when I left, I realized that they quite a lot worsen my state, so they had to give me more drugs. And that is what was actually happening always. So now I feel my karma with these places is somehow hopefully settled. I feel and know what they are doing and I know I cannot do nothing about it.

 

Whe I left the hospital, I was terribly out of money and started to work in warehouses again. But few weeks ago i found a good help of a good job counsellor. What I am doing know is that I train my legs and body as well, but especially legs, and I work only 2-3 days a week. I also study. I am preparing for a full time gardening job in spring, in which the employer will know about my condition and hopefully be more receptive. After a long time I feel to have some direction and I also enjoy it a little bit. I think that social work is really not for me. Its too much formal, too much administrative and legal… and I am rather organic person.

 

Well, if I have enough money and the stable job, I can go further in ayurveda and also with the medication, and relationships as well. Till I am stable, I will not do anything with medications, most probably, that is what Will Hall guide recommends and what I am afraid is true.

 

I must add a little but a bit nice detail. Half a year I sent my mother, because she started to do buddhist meditation and I felt she would be opened, an article about causes of psychosis from Mad in America and Nonviolent communication textbook which they recommend for families with psychosis. She started to learn it and now I realize our interaction is much safer, somewhat more normal i would say, then it used to be. It seems that it works. I will try to engage my father as well.

[Tomash]

How about you Carmie, how are you?

[Tomash]

Hello,

 

I got back here after sometime.

I had pretty hard year. Finally, a coach from a charity helped me to get a steady job. Since then, I have got money for futher progress.

I lowered the dose a bit fast, as till 5mg I feel usually comfortable. Now I am waiting for stabilization and I will wait through out the usually dificult autumn. Then I will taper off by the method (10% per month). I have a future plan for a better job and I am excited by that. I am also starting to have more relationships.

In the last few weeks, I was surprised by my discovery of DMT halucinogen, which is probably natural part of our bodies. I did some research, and found that antipsychotics lower its level, which i guess can contribute to the "zombie" like state of those who are taking it. I started to higher DMT in my body, apart form meditation certain diet and being in nature helps a lot. Also I am curious about the effect of antipsychotic withdrawal on DMT level in the brain. Maybe that is why withdrawal makes LSD-like states of mind? Is it similar to the dopamin problem? I am looking for answers how to lower DMT in the body as well, but apart from eating meat I am not finding an answer. It might be true we need DMT but need a strong and healthy nervous system as well. Anyway, it shows again how slow taper is important.

[Tomash]

Finally stabilized on one level (5mg) of Olanzapin for 3 months.  Huge relieve! Preparing very cautiously for withdrawal, which I hope will start in around 3 - 5 months, if life circumstances permit...

[Tomash]

I would like to share more how that stabilization happened.

 

Last 4-5 years, I was in a circle of abrupt withdrawals, forced hospitalization and remedication. I was affraid of second medications they gave me.

On January 2020, I wanted to escape to a wood, doing only yoga and collecting herbs. In that time, I was lucky to have a bit alternative shrinker. He is into chinesse medicine, not only shrinking. He told me, that I have constantly an altered state of conciousness, and that i might have a spiritual emergence, not a desease.

In that time, i also had a new ayurveda doctor, how told which herbs to take, with a cautioun and in a small quantitity.

Because of all that, I realized, the first step to a stabilization is to have a stabilized level of the psychiatric drug and herbs.

I set the level to 5mg of olanzapin, as I knew this was a level, were I could be stabilized but not totally drugged in the same time. I started to take regularly herbs. I waited. It took around one month for my brain to be steady.

Since then, I dont have any bigger symptoms of psychosis. I have still a lot to do, especially regarding my personality, but I think this was some foundation stone to lay.