Skeeter's Journey

[Skeeter]

Thanks guys, you have all been great!

 

Peng, its a deal!! LOL!!  Don't you DARE belittle what you did for so many years!  People's lives depended on your job!  Would you like me to say that about all the lives I helped save while in EMS?  I think not, you would not be happy with me, right?  Own it!!  Kids do not get it yet, how important of a job you really had. Tell people of the age that do get it,  it is fascinating!!  I posted about an ambulance call that was overblown on Quora.com, and thousands of people have read my entries about calls, but they loved my most exaggerated call story!

 

Thanks for coming back to say hello!

Edited December 2, 2022 by Skeeter
Removed pseudonym

[peng]

Thanks for that Skeeter.

"Belittling?"  Yep, have to admit my mother (a widow at 35, with me to raise from 9yrs old in a council flat) did tend to do that most days - even into her 80s when we had her living with us.

She was proud of what I achieved from lowly beginnings, but was reluctant to tell me. 

I have to remind myself to forgive her, though.  Life was tough for her, too.  Blood pressure polypharma kept her alive to the age of 93.  She did not really enjoy that, once she could not read or watch tv. (Macular degeneration.)

Nor did we.  My wife, as myself and daughter often say, is the kindest person we have known, so weren't we lucky, too?

 

Many others on here, like yourself, will be able to give similar accounts of life's hard knocks tempered with having a kind soul around. 

[Carmie]

Hi Skeeter, 

 

Have just been reading your thread. I’m so sorry about your cousin and I hope all goes well with the court case.

 

Good on you for holding when you have important things coming up. I’ve done quite a number of long holds just to have a bit of a break.

 

I have no brain tonight but I thought I read you eventually want to do the brassmonkey slide. Hope all goes well with that

 

Take care

[MiguelFreeman]

On 4/24/2018 at 5:31 PM, Skeeter said:

Thanks guys, you have all been great!

 

Peng, its a deal!! LOL!!  Don't you DARE belittle what you did for so many years!  People's lives depended on your job!  Would you like me to say that about all the lives I helped save while in EMS?  I think not, you would not be happy with me, right?  Own it!!  Kids do not get it yet, how important of a job you really had. Tell people of the age that do get it,  it is fascinating!!  I posted about an ambulance call that was overblown on Quora.com, I go by the 'nym Tee Skill or Skil, and thousands of people have read my entries about calls, but they loved my most exaggerated call story!

 

Thanks for coming back to say hello!

Hope you are ok ,i have seen tgat you ate in pain hold strong sister 

I pray for you.

[Junglechicken]

Skeets,

 

Apologies for not replying to your message yet.

 

I've had so many things going on, I haven't had time to reply.

 

I haven't forgotten about you!

 

JC xx

[Skeeter]

JC,

Thought you were mad at me...lol!

Be easy on yourself, give your self time to heal!

Skeets

[Carmie]

Hi skeeter, 

 

How have you been doing? Sending hugs🤗

[ChessieCat]

Yes Skeeter, I've been wondering how you are too.  We'd love to hear from you.

[tntd]

Hi Skeeter, 

 

I've been thinking about you lately. I hope that you are well and out enjoying life.

 

Hugs,

 

T

[Junglechicken]

Me too, you disappeared off the face of the earth!

[RachelSusan]

Me three.  We miss you. I hope you are doing OK.

xo

[Skeeter]

I did fall off the map, I do apologize to all  for that.  My neuropathy became too much to handle, and being pulled off my pain meds slowly made life very hard.  About 2 years ago found a great pain doc.  Stabilized pain meds (increased dose, but this was only temporary), but he wanted me off my benzo.  This was fine, I had slowly been tapering since 2016.  My taper ended in June of 2021 (approx).  I tapered 1/8 of a 2mg pill every 4-5 weeks.  I do understand that this is not how the site recommends, but it worked for me.  If I ever taper again I would use a scale, I think if I were ever on a drug like that again (tho I have no intention to take another one,but it may happen). 

 

Completely off Lexapro January 2022 after approx a 2 year long taper.  It was a fully uneventful taper with only minor symptoms until about 3 weeks after I fully completed taper.  The last 11 months beyond stopping have been hell.  Mood swings, severe depression.  I would be okay for a while, then my mood would just drop like a rock. I did have oral ketamine (via troches- pronounced tro-key) in low dose for my neuropathy, and it seemed to help the depression. I am loathe to take one an AD ever again, but I could/would not willingly redo the last year.  If I went back on I would stay on.  Waiting for my brain and body to normalize after 20+ years on an AD was so much worse than I had ever imagined. Now Lexapro, mg per mg is said to be much stronger than other AD's.  If I were to do have to do the same taper again, I would ask if a weaker AD would be better to jump off.  I was taking 1/8 of a pill, so a tiny chip of a 10mg pill at the end.  Maybe it would be just as brutal, am not sure.  I was not prepared for the worst part of the taper to be after coming totally off the drug.  I would not say that the last year was worse than my Xanax WD after my doc halved my Xanax dose when he cross tapered me to valium but those were awful physical symptoms vs the mental symptoms after stopping the Lex.  Both were awful in their own way. I thought the taper was going to be the worst part before this.  I was wrong.

 

My new  pain doc was "retired" in March.  I understand this was likely not voluntary.  Since then, clinic will not stop tapering my pain med and hold like the last doc did.  

 

The last month, my mood has finally stabilized.  Have not gone this long feeling stable since I came off the drug.  I hope it lasts.  Literature says it can take up to a year to stabilize.

 

I have no clue how to update my signature anymore Will look up when I get a chance. Am on my cell, I do apologize for any errors.

[RachelSusan]

@Skeeter Welcome back. 😀😀😀  It's nice to see your name.  It sounds like you have gone through hell. I feel for you. I'm very pleased to see your mood has stabilized.

Warm wishes.

[Skeeter]

RachelSusan, thank you for you kind words.  It is so much appreciated. I am battered but I survived.

[RachelSusan]

@Skeeter My impression of you has always been that of a survivor. That does not mean that you don't suffer and hurt, it means that you do what needs to be done to try and improve your situation. I don't know how often you are going to be able to drop in here, but do know that when you get here you are surrounded by affection.

Edited December 5, 2022 by RachelSusan
typo

[Skeeter]

RachelSusan,

You are a doll, TY for your sweet comment. Am sending you. DM.

[manymoretodays]

Hi Skeeter! 💜

Good report/update!

 

Good to see you post.

 

The easy access way to your signature, when you want to make that clear, with recents, or since you've been gone:  AccountSettings/signature/updates/edit

And don't forget to hit SAVE, the SAVE button at the bottom of that.

 

It sounded like good progress and peace......I hope I read your update right.  I'll reread.  And if so.....oh my gosh......how happy making.  As I recall, it was so very tough and bleak, and then also very hard to get decent care.......before you left off.

 

Alright.  Post more....I mean if you want or will.....up to you....

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[manymoretodays]

Oooh Skeeter,

My reading comprehension not great some days I guess.....on a reread of your update, I see it has just been one month of doing a bit better.  Plenty of struggle prior too.  Oof.

Holding you close, healing thoughts.....and still.....you've come a long way.......

L, P, H, and G,

mmt