Borealice: Never thought I'd be back here but here I am Zoloft, withdrawal symptoms from 5mg

[Borealice]

Thanks for the input alto. I've decided I'm  going to try 20 mg at 2pm today. I don't have a pill cutter with me....how would I split the 25 mg pill? 

[Altostrata]

It's going to be very hard to cut an accurate 5mg from a 25mg tablet. We usually recommend making a liquid and using an oral syringe. This might be hard to do while you're traveling.

 

If you took 3/4 of a 25mg tablet, you'd be taking 18.75mg. That is, however, a big drop, you might not want to take the risk of withdrawal symptoms in the middle of a wedding.

[Borealice]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

It's going to be very hard to cut an accurate 5mg from a 25mg tablet. We usually recommend making a liquid and using an oral syringe. This might be hard to do while you're traveling.

 

If you took 3/4 of a 25mg tablet, you'd be taking 18.75mg. That is, however, a big drop, you might not want to take the risk of withdrawal symptoms in the middle of a wedding.

How would I go about making a liquid? I can try to look for a Walgreens today. I'll be back home tmrw so perhaps I can start then. 

[Borealice]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

It's going to be very hard to cut an accurate 5mg from a 25mg tablet. We usually recommend making a liquid and using an oral syringe. This might be hard to do while you're traveling.

 

If you took 3/4 of a 25mg tablet, you'd be taking 18.75mg. That is, however, a big drop, you might not want to take the risk of withdrawal symptoms in the middle of a wedding.

Disregard previous post, I found the liquid/tapering link you posted. Thank you 

[Borealice]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

It's going to be very hard to cut an accurate 5mg from a 25mg tablet. We usually recommend making a liquid and using an oral syringe. This might be hard to do while you're traveling.

 

If you took 3/4 of a 25mg tablet, you'd be taking 18.75mg. That is, however, a big drop, you might not want to take the risk of withdrawal symptoms in the middle of a wedding.

So I had no choice but to take the 25mg today. Will record how I feel. I'm with my mom, so I told her bringing down the dose may help. She said "but what if it is a lack of serotonin.can you honestly say for the past years you've been taking medication, there wasn't a single happy moment. You can reduce, but only if you're sure you feel like the medicine did nothing for you. You need to think back on what effects it had. Think closely."

 

I want off these drugs, they did absolutely nothing for my OCD. these drugs are the things that created a Chemical imbalance (dr breggin reference). But when my mom said that too me, I got a little worried. No one believes I'm in withdrawal. What If I'm not in withdrawal anymore and there's something else going on. I'm gonna message my dumb psych when I get to the hotel room to ask about a liquid or compounding of Zoloft. That frikin psych should have not made me taper that fast. Although I said i wanted off. I didn't know about taper schedule. 

[Altostrata]

Perhaps you could minimize discussing your plans with your mother? You'll need to take charge of this yourself.

 

Good idea to request the liquid. You could take 1/2 tablet with liquid for your daily dose.

[Borealice]

On 7/23/2018 at 3:34 PM, Altostrata said:

Perhaps you could minimize discussing your plans with your mother? You'll need to take charge of this yourself.

 

Good idea to request the liquid. You could take 1/2 tablet with liquid for your daily dose.

After some back and forth with doctors nurse, I was able to get approved for Zoloft liquid (they did not want to give it to me!). And I'm playing phone tag with them, so I didn't even receive a confirmation of when I'll get the liquid by. It's 2:45 and I forgot to take my Zoloft again!!! I should be taking it at 2 everyday. I'm going to take25 mg again today. At least I'm back in Californian soil. 

[Altostrata]

Congratulations, you've now educated your doctor's office.

 

Maybe you should set an alert on your phone for your dose time?

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[Borealice]

Ha! Thanks alto for your continuous support and to everyone here. I don't know I'm just trucking through the day, makes me anxious to think about whether or not I'm getting better. I was so hyper focused on monitoring myself these past few days, I think I need to take a step back for a little bit. But doing better I think, 

[Bunyapine]

I find it hard to deal with withdrawal, because everyone around you, doctors included, don’t know about withdrawal and they just think a doctor can help you! With withdrawal symptoms your strength of mind is hard to achieve. The only thing that stops me going to the doctor is that withdrawal was brought on by a doctor and I don’t want to get worse because of their lack of knowledge!

[Borealice]

Hi eveyone,

 

im so bad. I haven't been journaling at all about my symptoms.  I don't know if it's laziness or I'm just too burnt out at the end of the work day to care. I'm struggling a lot with the notion that I am an amalgamation or cells and neurons, that everything I do and think is the result of my brain, that I have no control. That it's not me when I'm doing work or thinking in my spare time or watching a YouTube video. I question every single thought in my head. I used to have pride about who I am, but I realized it's all my upbringing and character traits. This is driving me crazy. I feel trapped.  Am I just a robot ? I've lost the feeling of myself and feel I can never get it back. This is a result of the depersonalization or ssri withdrawal and my underlying OCD. The Paxil withdrawal was so physically debilitating I got through it, but Zoloft withdrawal is not physical it's all mental. I don't know what to do. I'm coming to work everyday, going home and then walking and sleeping. Everyone has expectations of me. I could have managed my symptoms of OCD without ssri. Ssri are supposed to help and they did the exact opposite. How can something that's suppose to raise your serotonin also affect your decision making and memory. Ssri are horrible. My poor parents who raised me with only love. My "mental illness" has been made worse by big pharma. I was fine. Does anyone have ways of coping? Can anyone relate? And how is the nervous sustem related in all of this? How does the body work? 

I'm seeing a therapist tmrw. I also have a dog who brings me some comfort

[jonnypeters1234567]

Sounds alot like my withdrawals very hypnotic, zoning in and out of a parallell universe and not recognising anyone

[Borealice]

20 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Sounds alot like my withdrawals very hypnotic, zoning in and out of a parallell universe and not recognising anyone

Hey Jonny, 

 

read your intro topic. Looks like we both attended a wedding recently while in our states. Ha!. I hope we can both get better soon. 

[jonnypeters1234567]

haha apparently i did! dont remember going to be honest 😉 This is like time travel

[Borealice]

IS it possible I could have neurotoxicity from taking 25 mg Zoloft after not taking for 2.5 months. So just reinstated my original dose? I can't drive as well and my cognitive skills have gone down. I'm scared. This isn't fair. Have my neurons died? It's been 2 months since I reinstated 

[Borealice]

I got into a row with my parents. Since I'm not still feeling 100%. They've had it with me. They say I'm not in withdrawal. Maybe I'm not in withdrawal and I'm making it up. I don't feel any physical symptoms, it's rly just mental. But it's not enough where I can't function. I don't know what's wrong....

i was so much better before I started all my medication. Straight A's, lots of friends. I haven't taken my Zoloft since 2pm. I feel better, more clear. Maybe I should start tapering? Doctors office never got back to me about the liquid Zoloft and they don't return my messages...I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. 

[Borealice]

I have a regular therapist I will be seeing every Friday now.

[Borealice]

Can anyone explain why late reinstatement is dangerous?? It only creates fear in people who have reinstated. If it's a new drug you start does that not count as reinstatement? I'm in a rock and a hard place, I don't know whether to continue my Zoloft or if it's not helping me get better. I can't tell.

[Carmie]

Hi Borealice, 

 

How are you doing?💚

[Borealice]

I am such a ******* idiot. I did this to myself AGAIN. As if Cold turkey from paxil was not a hard enough lesson. I was quite stable for a number of years and then I decided to come off of zoloft. Starting dosage was 60 mg, I tapered over the course of 2 years. I misread the dosages between ml and mg and accidentally Cold turkeyed after 5mg. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself again. I went off the 5mg of zoloft in November 2023. By mid december the withdrawal symptoms hit me like a truck. Extreme suicidality, wanting to run into traffic. Akathasia. intense suicidal ideation. The worst symptom by far is the obsession with one though since November. everyday 24/7. I have latched on to the thought that " I thought someone was stupid in my mind" and I keep replaying that thought I had over and over again in my mind. The crazy thing is I don't ever want to let go of the thought. So its just going to be there forever? I'm afraid to stop thinking about the thought. I can't imagine a reality without that thought. and its driving me absolutely suicidal. I can't take it anymore. I had to reinstate 5 mg of zoloft on January 15th. Upped it to 10 mg on February 2nd. I have a psychiatrist appt this friday 2/9. Why did I do this to myself again? I feel like I'm playing with my life. How will I ever get past this? If this thought is going to be here forever, how can I live? How do I forget when I don't want to forget? I've been taking ativan almost daily to cope. can you believe I'm trying to maintain my full time job through this? I'm so scared. 

[TightLinesGuy]

On 2/5/2024 at 8:25 PM, Borealice said:

I've been taking ativan almost daily to cope. can you believe I'm trying to maintain my full time job through this? I'm so scared. 

I am very sorry you made a mistake in your tapering, an easy mistake to make. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

 

I would be very careful with Ativan, it has a high potential for dependence, arguably more so than antidepressants, although everyone is different. I would hate you to become hooked on two different medications.

[Borealice]

I am such a ******* idiot. I did this to myself AGAIN. As if Cold turkey from paxil was not a hard enough lesson. I was quite stable for a number of years and then I decided to come off of zoloft. Starting dosage was 60 mg, I tapered over the course of 2 years. I misread the dosages between ml and mg and accidentally Cold turkeyed after 5mg. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself again. I went off the 5mg of zoloft in November 2023. By mid december the withdrawal symptoms hit me like a truck. Extreme suicidality, wanting to run into traffic. Akathasia. intense suicidal ideation. The worst symptom by far is the obsession with one though since November. everyday 24/7. I have latched on to the thought that " I thought someone was stupid in my mind" and I keep replaying that thought I had over and over again in my mind. The crazy thing is I don't ever want to let go of the thought. So its just going to be there forever? I'm afraid to stop thinking about the thought. I can't imagine a reality without that thought. and its driving me absolutely suicidal. I can't take it anymore. I had to reinstate 5 mg of zoloft on January 15th. Upped it to 10 mg on February 2nd. I have a psychiatrist appt this friday 2/9. Why did I do this to myself again? I feel like I'm playing with my life. How will I ever get past this? If this thought is going to be here forever, how can I live? How do I forget when I don't want to forget? I've been taking ativan almost daily to cope. can you believe I'm trying to maintain my full time job through this? I'm so scared. 

[KenA]

@Borealice Sorry to hear that you are going through this again. I can completely understand having the intrusive thoughts. I had them quite often as well with thoughts getting stuck in my head. Mine were terrible as well. Things like remembering to breathe and blink, so I can completely understand. I hope that you are able to come through this quickly and get back to feeling better again. I have merged this post into your original intro topic as each member is allowed only one intro topic. Best wishes!

 

Ken

[Borealice]

I feel like I can’t hold on much longer. I want to die. I can’t tell what’s the withdrawal, what I’m creating, and what my ocd is creating. I’m just surviving at this point. I’m in utter hell. 

[Borealice]

I feel really suicidal and scared and could use some words of encouragement 

[LotusRising]

On 2/8/2024 at 11:41 AM, Borealice said:

I had to reinstate 5 mg of zoloft on January 15th. Upped it to 10 mg on February 2nd.

Hi @Borealice,

 

Have you noticed any changes at all since restarting the zoloft?

 

Have you seen this thread?

 

What happened when you met with your psychiatrist? Do you have a therapist?

[Borealice]

13 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

Hi @Borealice,

 

Have you noticed any changes at all since restarting the zoloft?

 

Have you seen this thread?

 

What happened when you met with your psychiatrist? Do you have a therapist?

Thank you. I started Prozac two days ago 20mg. Not taking the Zoloft.  I don’t know what’s happening in my brain. I’m just stuck on one singular thought “that I thought someone was stupid” . It’s just there lodged in my brain. And I refuse to forget it. Maybe my amygdala doesn’t want to forget? It seems trivial but it’s making me suicidal. I’m just scared. That’s there no solution to this. 

[LotusRising]

46 minutes ago, Borealice said:

I’m just stuck on one singular thought “that I thought someone was stupid”

Looping thoughts are definitely pretty common. Have you tried any coping skills to help with this?

[Borealice]

4 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

Looping thoughts are definitely pretty common. Have you tried any coping skills to help with this?

No I haven’t. It almost feels like I don’t want to to forget the thought and I’m desperately holding on to it. And yet the thought is causing me distress. I feel like I would be living a lie if I forget the thought. It’s so tortuous. I’m scared it’s going to be like this forever. 

[Kaylaq]

Hello, I see you, I hear you…🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻  Sending you strength, courage and love to live another day! 😊

[LotusRising]

 

I wonder if either of these threads would help you with this:

 

[Borealice]

im in dire straits. suicide seems like an option. i have urges to jump off a building or go into the ocean. I dont see myself recovering from this. I've attached so much meaning to this looping thought that I called someone stupid, I dont see a future where I'm not holding on to this thought. I'm only 32. How will i live on? My poor parents. I have to take ativan to function at work. I'm not able to regulate what I'm eating. (overeating). I don't know what to do.

[Kaylaq]

Just wanted you to know I hear you, I see you! 😊😊  in my own intensive wave cycle too, it’s so difficult living this way…. 

[Borealice]

26 minutes ago, Kaylaq said:

Just wanted you to know I hear you, I see you! 😊😊  in my own intensive wave cycle too, it’s so difficult living this way…. 

thanks Kaylaq, as much as this is withdrawal., I feel like my ocd has gone haywire and worse than I ever had before. I don't get a moment of rest during the day. 

[Borealice]

Is there such a thing as a memory erasing pill, or something to zap my brain? I am so desperate. 

[Borealice]

I am so scared. I feel like I've learned something about the brain I shouldn't have and I can't go back. I refuse to get rid of this memory. Do I have to start taking stronger drugs? I want a frontal lobotomy.