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Maybe

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Hello all,

 

just wanted to give an update again as I have hit the 3rd year mark today. Sadly enough....

I am currently low on energy, so I will just post some of my more prominent symptoms. On the average I am improving. This year is better than the last one, though the second half is worse than the first. But I am used to the ups and downs by now.

 

- Tinnitus

- Movement sensitivity has become much better, but is still there

- IBS (only in waves, more unnerving than a burden)

- Dizziness (on and off)

- Weird feelings in my calfs, sometimes restless legs in the evening (in bed)

- My worst symptoms are still weird head and neck feelings and headaches, there has been no real improvment during the last year, feels quite permanent and as if something inside my brain is broken. Not there all the time though.

- General body feeling is still not normal

- Still not able to exercise,

- Exhaustion, strongest in the mornings, but can be there throughout the day

- DP/DR, but very rarely

- Pain in my finger tips (mostly left hand) when I touch certain materials, like e.g. toilet paper, very weird. This symptom has come up only some months ago, so is quite new.

 

And again, a thanks to all that care so much on this board. Especially Altostrata, who is doing so much for all of us pill victims! I hope I can give back at least a bit of what others have given me when I am feeling up to it. Currently it is much better for me to just chime in every now and then and not be reminded of all the bad days we have gone or go through.

 

Much healing to everyone!

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

About the 4 pills -- please stop worrying about them and feeling guilty. Don't feel bad about any of the choices you've made. You did the best you could, without guidance from experts because there are hardly any. Most of us did the same.

 

Some people are sensitive to to the burst of serotonin produced initially by SSRIs and can suffer very long adverse reactions and withdrawal syndrome -- yes, even after 4 pills. It is estimated to be 1 percent of the population with this sensitivity. It doesn't mean anything was wrong with your nervous system, it means that not enough is known about these drugs and how people react to them.

I was moved by Maybe's post and went through some of the early history. Very, hugely sobering. One person on TRAP that I know of reported responding to ADs in a similar way, and a young person came on this forum in the last couple of weeks with a similar tale, though still early on (hopefully not such a long duration). Isn't (rhetorical) this enough of a potential problem to just take this stuff off the market completely... just for this reason alone?

 

Hi Maybe.. thanks for sharing your story. I'm very sorry to hear you are still having withdrawal symptoms but are persevering and continuing to recover.

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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  • Administrator

Thanks, Maybe. Very good to hear from you. Hang in there, my friend.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Maybe it really sounds you are on the way to recovery. It will take some more time but in the end we heal. I hit the 5 years mark last week, I even celebrated it with a dinner at a pizzeria! I work now for 50% with much enthousiasm so there is still recovery after 4,5,6 years.

10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again!

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you very much all!

 

And yes Schuyler, for me, this alone serves as a reason to take the medicine from the market. But as sadly as it is, it is all about profit so there is no chance that this will happen anytime soon.

 

@Claudius:

Very glad to hear that you are working again, especially with enthusiasm and energy. This is great! But I hope that you soon will be able to celebrate your full recovery with a nice beer :D

 

Unfortunately I am in a wave again since Monday. Of course it is different than the ones before and even resembles symptoms of my initial withdrawl.

But one thing is really bad, I am not able to contain my rage anymore. Whenever I am getting angry, I am close to going nuts and freak out. I just cannot control myself anymore. Is there anything one might do against this?

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

How about swimming? Beat the water!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sadly still the only thing I can do, is a bit of walking. If I do too much, I get a weird reaction and feel as bad as it can get for one or two days. I am really afraid of overdoing it :(

So no real way to decrease the anger and stress via exercising...

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • 8 months later...

maybe - I just wanted to stop by and say hello, I know you from PP and have seen your posts here but didnt know you were quirk...Im so sorry you have been going through this, it is beyond words and Im hoping you are feeling a little better in recent months, its been a long time since you updated this topic. xx

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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  • 3 months later...

Hello all,

 

As Iggy stated, and sorry Iggy, haven't had a look at "my" thread since my last posting, I haven't updated my thread since last year. So well, here I am on my 4th anniversary. On the whole I am surely much better than even a year ago, but still struggle with some symptoms. Though they are far from unbearable most of the time. I have no clue when or if this journey will really ever end, but life is liveable again.

 

I wish everyone who is still in the midst of WD a smooth and fast recovery. And whereever you are, besides tapering, if you do not touch the pills again, it will definitely get better and better with time!

 

A big thanks again to Altostrata and Pun and all others who have helped through the yet darkest times of my life! I cannot imagine what I would have done without your support!

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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Hello Maybe;I am glad you are doing much better, you deserve it.

Besides tinnitus, I don't have almost any physical symptoms, all are psychological:anxiety,DP,DR and tiredness.

Are your remain symptoms more physical than psychological?

 

Best regards,A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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Hey Alex,Thank you :)Well, it is quite mixed, though the physical symptoms are much more prominent. It sometimes is quite hard to detect that your current thinking could be WD related, so they are not in my focus somehow. Still I am having quite a lot stress as life isn't running as smooth as I would like it to, and that surely has some effect on my cns. But man am I glad that my symptoms aren't getting as worse as before anymore :)

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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. But man am I glad that my symptoms aren't getting as worse as before anymore :)

 

GOOD!! :)

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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I am very sorry, that last sentence may sound rude to those who are still in WD. That was of course not my intention. I just wanted to convey that it will definitely get better!

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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Glad to read Maybe, that you feel improvements! I am still on the road too after 6 years but in the end we will beat this crap.

10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again!

 

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Claudius! Long time no read :)How are you doing? I hope that you also have seen further improvements in the last months/years. 

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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Hi Maybe,

Indeed some time ago, last year I was more active on the IAWP forum but this was recently closed. So I will write my further progress here again.

Last year I had definately improvements, one year ago I embarked in a 50% job for the first time and it went pretty well. It was a contract for 6 months and I got a good reference.

Since then I have some other low-paid but interesting programming project. I feel more enthousiasm and see new directions but still suffer from WD in terms of neuropathic stuff that is very VERY stubborn. Now at 6 years I look more than ever for real recovery but it is still the waves and windows pattern, though the waves are not so low anymore.

Mentally I feel pretty stable, but still have to postpone mant actiiyties due to WD related damage.

So still a way to go. But we will make it in the end.

10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again!

 

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Very glad to hear that you are doing better and better as well! I guess that sooner or later close to all of the symptoms go away or are such low in intensity that one does not care anymore. But well, it can take an unbelievable amount of time as we sadly do know now.

I wish you much more healing and huge improvements during the next year, Claudius!

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Good to hear from you both!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...

Maybe how are you doing now??? What are your current symptoms.... Also had an adverse reaction and would love to hear how you are doing 

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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  • 1 year later...
  • Administrator

Maybe, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol



to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...

Oh, I haven't been in this thread for ages :)

Thanks for the nice symbol, Alto. It definitely fits.

 

I would not consider myself recovered, yet, as I still have some minor to medium problems, but absolutely nothing compared to 3 years ago. Still got some concentration and memory probs, problems when working out and feeling "weird" now and then. The residual symptoms are unnerving and may hamper my personal development, but I can enjoy life again :)

 

Sometimes I forget how bad I felt only years ago, and I guess this is a good sign.

 

I might be onto some health issues at the moment concerning my immune system (might have been altered by the SSRI), so maybe I can improve with some help from outside. We will see.

 

Best wishes to everyone,

Maybe

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Thank you, Maybe. Good to hear from you!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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What kind of problem with immune system? I am almost certain that ssri has led to autoimmune problem with me. I got psoriatic arthritis exactly at the time of poop out from paxil.

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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Hey DLB,

 

Well, it turned out it was a false alarm. All my bloodworks are very good. The doc and me thought that my system might be overactive, but it seems everything is just fine. I am often tired and somehow lacking in drive and have concentration problems, but I just cannot find anything that helps. I have had checked close to everything the blood can tell us about the system and found nothing...

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Well, that's still good news, Maybe.

 

Are you getting regular sleep, exercise, and a little sun when you can?

 

Ramsnic seems to have found some solutions via diet and not eating wheat ☼ Ramsnic - Effexor ruined my marriage.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello Alto :)

 

Well, I sleep regularly and most of the time more than 7 hours. I am still not really feeling "fresh" in the mornings though. I exercise a bit and get sun quite often. But I also take a Vit D suppelement and my levels are not optimal, yet, but already in the range of "normal". I had so many blood works checked and they just can't seem to find anything that is giving me those concentration problems. Guess it must be something neurological...

 

Thanks for the link, I will have a look at it. Stopped eating wheat for 6 months while I was in acute WD, but maybe I should try it again as I still had a plethora of other symptoms back then.

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

I'm sure you'll figure it out, Maybe.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 year later...

Hello all,

 

My bad reaction to 4 pills of Lexapro is now 7 years ago and I still face some residual problems. One of the worst things, that I really struggle with are problems with my muscles.

I have pains in my arm and leg muscles (had restless legs and restless arms during WD) every day and when I try to work out even a little bit, they get much, much worse and stay consistently over the course of 5 to 7 days. I eagerly want to get fit again, but it is impossible and that drives me mad. I was working out regularly before WD and now I haven't done anything since years. And I want to add those pains are not a normal kind of muscle aching, I know how that feels.

 

Has anyone experienced the same and found a remedy? My blood works are all ok and I went to a neurologist, but he found nothing as well. Thinking about a muscle biopsy now.

 

 

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Maybe - I've merged the topic you started "Bad problems with muscles" to your introduction and update topic.

 

Here are a couple of existing topics in the Symptoms & self-care forum about muscle pain and weakness:

 

Tension, pain, twitches, and spasms in muscles

 

Muscle weakness (asthenia)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Thank you Scallywag!

 

No idea why I did not use the search function before posting....thank you for the links :)

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Maybe, did you ever try magnesium supplements? This can help with muscles.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 

Good to hear from you!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello Alto :)

 

Thank you!

 

Yes, I tried Magnesium, Vitamin D, Q10 and other things, sadly to no avail. I heard a lot of good things about Cissus Quadrangularis regarding muscles, joints and tendons, so I am thinking about trying this. I guess I am far enough out of the bad reaction, so I can be a bit more open to supplement testing.

 

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • 4 years later...
  • Administrator

Hello, @Maybe How are you doing?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 months later...

Hello, @Altostrata!

 

Sorry for taking my time, I am seldom online anymore :)
That's really difficult question, to be honest. I still have one or two residual symptoms left, but before anyone in WD gets shocked by that, they are absolutely nothing compared to my initial problems and do not hinder a normal life ;)
But I got some health problems due to other events unrelated to my bad reaction, so, I much better than back then, but not as good as it could be. That's normal life I guess.

Thank you for asking, Alto, and I hope you are fine! Has been a long time since my last posting here :)

PS: Oh my, just saw that I already posted about my symptoms above. So, well, the same problems still apply now, but as I am still alive, they are at least not deadly :D

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Good to hear from you again, @Maybe Is it time to post your Success Story?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 months later...
  • Administrator

Maybe's Success Story is here

 

 

As is our custom, I will close this topic. Please congratulate Maybe in his Success Story topic.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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