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Shanti: tapering off Paxil


Shanti

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I totally don't know what to do. I had such psychosis last night. Hallucinations big time. Out of nowhere this huge basketball player popped up and ran right through me and gave me a panic attack. My stomach growled and it gave me a panic attack that caused my tongue and big toe to get an electric shock. Hallucinations left and right. Then I started having audible hallucinations. I kept hearing people talking. I kept waking up to sounds like my phone ringing a different tone, checked it and it didn't ring. Hearing people knock on my door but no one is there..

 

I don't want to be on anti-psychotics!!!

 

:(

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Could this be the result of the Prozac? I do get electric pain in my right hand/foot often, it comes and goes but is one thing that does seem to subside, wish my head would! Does Prozac take time to build up or is it instant? Not sure how it works.

Sept 2010 - Citalopram 1 day

Sept 2010 - Zopliclone for ten weeks (paranoia ended a couple of months after coming off this and sleep settled down again until the last couple of months)

Ocober 2010 - Cymbalta 30mg

November 2010 - Cymbalta 60mg

February 2011 - 60mg to 30 mg (lasted 10 days)reinstated 60mg

March 2011 - Took 2 60mg tablets on one evening in error - paralysis of face, back of head, shoulder, stabbing in right kidney, lost 30% of hearing)

March - June 2011 went down quickly 1mg a day until I got stuck at 25mg, went up to 27mg, because couldn't breath.

26th June - 26mg

3rd July - 25mg

17th July - 24mg

24th July - 23mg

7th Aug - began reducing by a bead every couple of days or so went well at first then hit a wall

24th October - now on 18.5mg. Since the kidney infection at start of September, have been in constant pain and anxiety, no let up. Given Ciprofloxacin.

8th Jan 2012 17.8mg (currently reducing 0.2mg a week)

8th Jan 2012 17.6mg last reduction was 6 days ago.

15th Jan 17.4mg

21st Jan 17.2mg

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Could this be the result of the Prozac? I do get electric pain in my right hand/foot often, it comes and goes but is one thing that does seem to subside, wish my head would! Does Prozac take time to build up or is it instant? Not sure how it works.

 

I wondered if that was the case. I just don't know. I've never stopped having hallucinations but last night they were really bad. I'm not having any other side effects from the Prozac. I'm trying to decide if I need to take anti-psychotic. I hate to but I can't live like this. I'm being terrorized by my mind.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Could this be the result of the Prozac? I do get electric pain in my right hand/foot often, it comes and goes but is one thing that does seem to subside, wish my head would! Does Prozac take time to build up or is it instant? Not sure how it works.

 

VERY good point! Prozac can be 'activating'. The onset of symptoms is extremely suspicious

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Agree with Bar. The timing is suspicious.

 

You're getting a double dose of SSRI, with the Paxil and Prozac. In addition, Paxil blocks the metabolism of Prozac, which means you're getting an even bigger hit of that.

 

Also, Shanti, it sounds to me like the visions, etc. are a signal (prodrome) that the anxiety attack is coming. Can you start meditative breathing as soon as things get weird? It might take the edge off.

 

Perhaps its time to slide off the Paxil a bit?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Okay, I think all three of you are right. I'm going to start dropping the Paxil tomorrow. I'll do it kind of quickly.

 

Yes Alto, it is. If fact I did get up and did some meditation, rosaries and breathing. It did help some. I took some Stramonium and Arcinicum and it did mellow out the attacks.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Shanti, I think you should connect with the Hearing Voices people. They are an association of the mentally various who have found ways to manage their symptoms without drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes. And Will Spirit (?) , also great video on Mark Foster new site

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Thanks Alto. I like that "mentally various" :) I'll check into that website.

 

 

Oh, I just checked the site and I remember this. I think you've shown me this before. Good site!

Edited by Shanti

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hearing Voices is based in Portland and they have a weekly support group there, although I haven't attended it yet because I work evenings and Portland's 85 miles from where I live.

 

But I've met Will Hall and he's just lovely. Eloquent but also humble and sweet. And I've met some of the people who go to the HV group. There's a strong psychiatric activism group in Portland now, still evolving.

 

Shanti, I don't think you know what your baseline is, as long as you are on or withdrawing from psych medications. Be patient with yourself. I agree that Prozac is very "activating", whatever that means; I know it caused me to have lots of agitation and made me delusional and manic.

 

I urge you to try anything you can to avoid antipsychotics; they are a lot like the other psych drugs, mostly just "brain-disablers", not curative. They also carry more side effects and other health risks and dangers. People who take them lose ten-plus years of life expectancy and have a higher risk of metabolic disorders and all kinds of other crap.

 

Nobody knows what causes "psychosis" (whatever that is, because it's really just a word) and nobody really knows what the drugs do. I hate to see you adding one more dangerous factor to the health problems you already have.

 

If there's any way at all that you can possibly manage without them...please try to. If you can. Of course, you must do what you must do, and I absolutely support you no matter what you do.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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I also agree that if it's possible for you to get by on 10 or 15 mg of Prozac instead of 20...I think it might be a gentler process for you.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thanks Rhi. I'm going to order another Homeopathy for hallucinations and see if it works better. I really don't want to take an antipsychotic again. My biggest concern is that if I do have Schizophrenia, they say that if it's not treated you will get worse and have irreparable damage. I think first thing I'm going to do is see someone to give me a definite answer of whether it's Schizophrenia or Psychotic Depression. Do you know if that's true about Schizophrenia?

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Please don't believe anything they tell you about schizophrenia. I know that "back in the day" before psych meds became so common, you never heard that thing about how you MUST treat schizophrenia or people would be "damaged." This is a really new concept and I think it's a pharmaceutical company invention. (Like "juvenile bipolar." A great way to get more people on drug$.)

 

And in people who are not treated with meds for schizophrenia, it's definitely not the case. Schizophrenia, when not treated with drugs, at worst stays the same and at best goes away completely and never comes back.

 

I urge you to get hold of a copy of Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. He has an extensive discussion of psychosis and the history of medicated psychosis versus unmedicated psychosis, and he also has a great discussion of the program in Finland where they are using family intervention and psychotherapy as primary treatment for psychotic breaks, very successfully, and most people get better without any drugs at all.

 

But once people do take the drugs the odds of ever actually recovering are very poor.

 

And they actually do NOT know what causes schizophrenia or what it is, if it's even a disease or a distinct condition. But in your case, you don't sound schizophrenic or even psychotic to me, because you have so much insight about what's going on with you. You didn't develop psychosis early in life (which is the usual case when it develops spontaneously). I think your symptoms are iatrogenic (drug-induced).

 

I could be wrong, of course! but your problems sound primarily drug-induced to me, with a component of your own individual neuro-physiology that may incline you to hallucinations. Which does not mean that you're ill. In fact it sounds like your hallucinations are often associated with near-sleep states, is that right? You might try Googling "hypnopompic" and "hypnagogic" hallucinations. They're rare, but considered normal. I worked for a year with a woman who has hypnopompic hallucinations--it sounds amazingly trippy (trains coming through her bedroom, elephants, et cetera) but she's completely functional and normal.

 

You might try emailing Will Hall and asking him. He knows more about this stuff than anyone I know or have heard of. He's a very kind man.

 

Also, I was thinking you were on 10 mg Paxil--if you're on 20 mg then probably crossing over to 20 mg of Prozac is reasonable.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

oh, OUCH, Shanti, just skimmed your recent posts, are you still taking Xanax? 1 mg is not a small dose, it's equivalent in strength to 20 mg of Valium. If you're taking Xanax at bedtime you will likely be getting withdrawal symptoms during the day (and during the night as well for that matter).

 

Xanax withdrawal symptoms feel like generalized anxiety and sometimes rushes of anxiety, panic, panic attacks.

 

Oh, please, if you're taking Xanax, talk to me about it. It's a nasty, nasty drug, very potent, super addictive. And it has a very short period of activity, so it almost always causes withdrawal symptoms between doses unless you're taking it at least four times a day (six is better, I get withdrawal symptoms after 3-4 hours personally).

 

Given all the problems you're having, please, I urge you to do whatever it takes to leave benzos out of the equation. They can cause so many physical and mental problems. If you do have to use a benzo, use a low dose of Valium, which you can get in doses as small as 2 mg. If you need it to help with sleep, Valium is much more effective than Xanax, which is actually paradoxically somewhat activating.

 

But best to avoid benzos altogether if you can. They act on GABA receptors which are in every cell of your body, and given how many health problems you're having already I think that's the last thing you need.

 

However, don't just stop the Xanax suddenly. If you've been taking it nightly for a few weeks or more you need to taper off.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it sounds so scary. I've read hallucinations can occur in people with MS, as well as electrical shocks. You say you have many symptoms that point to MS and it runs in your family. Is there any possible way you can see a specialist? I don't have insurance either so I know how difficult it can be to get proper medical care. Thankfully the city I live in has a public healthcare program for the uninsured. It's not ideal but it's good enough. Please keep trying to find a doctor who can give you get a proper diagnosis. It's always best to rule out actual medical conditions before looking to psych drugs as the culprit. Praying for you, Shanti.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Shanti,

Do you think your work w energy fields may open you up to more incoming messages?

 

Please know that I'm not attempting to diminish the distress you are experiencing.

 

'Latent inhibition' is another interesting topic. I'll try to find.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Rhi, I'm not experiencing any anxiety symptoms at all during the day. All my symtpoms are in the evening. I'm taking a quarter of the Xanax. Do you think I'd have to taper off precisely in doses like I do the Paxil? I really don't feel I need it anymore with the Stramonium.

 

Thank you Ladybug. I didn't know hallucinations could be a part of MS! That's very interesting. Yes, I'm going to push hard to see specialists. I think the new doctor at the Rancheria will help, as they have several specialists at the Rancheria itself.

 

Barb, I've had hallucinations like this all my life, long before I became spiritual. So that's not it. I can see why that question would come up! I've had horrible night terrors since I was about 13. I've hurt myself during episodes, such as jumping out a window and falling down the stairs in panic over hallucinations. Scary stuff. It's only been since I became Spiritual that they haven't terrorized me near as bad as they used to. They even went completely away from about 6 years during intense spiritual work. I think I just need to really buckle down and get like I was spiritually. It just takes a lot of devotion and time.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

Link to comment

Thank you Ladybug. I didn't know hallucinations could be a part of MS! That's very interesting. Yes, I'm going to push hard to see specialists. I think the new doctor at the Rancheria will help, as they have several specialists at the Rancheria itself.

 

Now that I read more about it, visual hallucinations are uncommon but not unheard of in MS. Auditory hallucinations have a higher incidence than visual it seems. Sorry to misinform! Although, I thought this was something that was recent for you but you say you have experienced it for most of your life. I would think that would also point away from schizophrenia since I've heard that usually doesn't manifest until late teens to early 20's. The good thing is that you recognize that these visions are not real. So you are far from delusional, and that's a good thing! I really hope you are able to see a good doctor at the Rancheria. Hang in there! xx

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Thanks Rhi. I'm going to order another Homeopathy for hallucinations and see if it works better. I really don't want to take an antipsychotic again. My biggest concern is that if I do have Schizophrenia, they say that if it's not treated you will get worse and have irreparable damage. I think first thing I'm going to do is see someone to give me a definite answer of whether it's Schizophrenia or Psychotic Depression. Do you know if that's true about Schizophrenia?

 

Hi Shanti,

 

I know someone who has been on antipsychotics for long term and it isn't a pretty site. This person's diagnosis of schizophrenia is legitimate but in my opinion, the drugs are what have caused the damage. Google Nancy Andreason, a researcher, who agrees with this.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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Hi CS. Thank you! I did a lot of research about this last night too, and I'm now convinced that even if I truly have Schizophrenia, I'm better off treating it naturally and try CBT. I saw a report of how the antipsychotics, and things like Ritalin actually shrink the brain something like 10%. These reports were from psychiatrists that know the truth about these drugs. I'll post a link to a good video that I watched.

 

BTW, I did breathing, rosaries and took the homeopathy last night and didn't have any hallucinations. Well, I did hear voices but they seemed further away and I couldn't make out what they were saying. It was more of a background noise.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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Hi CS. Thank you! I did a lot of research about this last night too, and I'm now convinced that even if I truly have Schizophrenia, I'm better off treating it naturally and try CBT. I saw a report of how the antipsychotics, and things like Ritalin actually shrink the brain something like 10%. These reports were from psychiatrists that know the truth about these drugs. I'll post a link to a good video that I watched.

 

BTW, I did breathing, rosaries and took the homeopathy last night and didn't have any hallucinations. Well, I did hear voices but they seemed further away and I couldn't make out what they were saying. It was more of a background noise.

 

Hi Shanti,

 

I am so happy to hear this. It sounds like you are definitely on the right track.

 

You might find this NY Times article about a man diagnosed with schizophrenia finding purpose in his delusions. He takes meds as an FYI but I am sure you don't need medication to do that.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/26/health/man-uses-his-schizophrenia-to-gather-clues-for-daily-living.html?_r=1

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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I love that story CS. Thank you!

 

I'll share my experience with past psychosis. Any psychiatrist that hears this will definitely say I'm Schizophrenic. I started having hallucinations and paranoia at about 16. I spent 20 years in terror. I believed I had an alien implant. I felt so strongly that I was being watched and monitored that I carried a camera with me so that when I felt like an alien or something was behind me, I would flash a picture over my shoulder to try and "catch" them. I was scared to death when my husband would leave the house at night or work out of town. I was never able to allow my kids to sleep with me for I'd fear I'd scare them with screams, or accidentally hit them thinking they were aliens in disguise. I had hit my husband and ran from him several times thinking he is really trying to fool me and disguised. Truly psychotic.

 

My life was in the Baptist church. I was even raised in a Baptist school. No amount of prayers, Bible, calling on Jesus to banish these beings helped me. I was given a book by the church about this woman that left the church and became New Age. She got into astrology and loved all the new stuff like crystals. But then she started seeing scary entities in her home like demons, scaring her so bad that she went back to the church. This story had an opposite effect on me than they intended. I thought to myself "If the devil is as smart and cunning as they say he is, why would he scare away someone that was clearly in his clutches?" The devil wouldn't be so stupid as to scare someone back into the church. This made me suspicious of religion.

 

So, at about 32 yrs old, I left the religion of Christianity and delved into finding the truth. I still had a belief in angels, because I have experienced them first hand and they were the only thing I trusted. They often gave me positive encouragement and help about the scary things I was experiencing. They were on my side. So I put my trust in my Guardian Angel to show me where I need to go to get spiritual help. I then became New Age and my philosophies are Gnostic, an Inner Path of self realization. In working so devotedly and in tune with my angels to guide me, I was finally saved from the terrorizing of my mind. They taught me how to take dominion of my mind. I was free of the aliens, voices and hallucinations. I had even believed I had an alien implant for years. Whether this is true or not, I don't quite know. But my angels took my belief in this seriously and removed the implant. Were they humoring me? Was I humoring myself? I don't know, but it worked. I believed to be free of implants.

 

I saved my sanity and for about 7 years I was free of the psychosis.

 

I still have a belief that there are secret messages for me in all things. Such as I have a plum tree and even though it was planted 20 years before I lived here, the tree is there just for me. Plums are a good remedy for Diverticulitis, which is what I came down with when I moved here. The same thing about my walnut tree. It's been here but it's for me as walnuts are medicine for the brain. I see messages in all things. But I learned that this is true for everyone, but only a few see this dimension of care from the Divine.

 

I once saw a psychologist that believed as I do. He feels there is another dimension to reality that some people can see. Many that see it are too egotistical and believe it is all about them. Some get bombarded by the negative side of this reality and don't see it as a divine reality for everyone as long as they look to see. He said that the ones that suffer psychosis and negative experience are usually those that have had trauma that cause a split in their mind. He told me that I saved myself from institutionalization by understanding it and using spiritual tools to save myself.

 

I found many people like me in the Spiritual community. Some say "we're all a little schizophrenic". But we're schizophrenic in a good way.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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So, what happened to me? Why did I lose all the ground I've succeeded in conquering? I had several very traumatic experiences in a short time, and at that time I became very sick and had serious nervous system problems. I had fallen. I lost hope and fell from my Spiritual Path. I gave up doing all my Spiritual practices and had a lot of anger. I lost my home, my marriage, my business, split up my family and so on. I suffered a trauma that knocked me on my rear. So in came the psychosis again. This time, instead of turning to Spirit, I turned to doctors. AND NOW HERE I AM. But I'm going to get back on track and get out of this as I did before.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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So, what happened to me? Why did I lose all the ground I've succeeded in conquering? I had several very traumatic experiences in a short time, and at that time I became very sick and had serious nervous system problems. I had fallen. I lost hope and fell from my Spiritual Path. I gave up doing all my Spiritual practices and had a lot of anger. I lost my home, my marriage, my business, split up my family and so on. I suffered a trauma that knocked me on my rear. So in came the psychosis again. This time, instead of turning to Spirit, I turned to doctors. AND NOW HERE I AM. But I'm going to get back on track and get out of this as I did before.

 

Shanti~

 

{{{{HUGS}}}

 

I really admire you. A year ago I wouldn't have understood all of this, but I have some idea now. I don't have gifts as you do, or I haven't opened them yet. However, I know someone who does and I've seen the torment. The implant - not such an unusual fear. I believe there are many explanations for voices and visions. Many many.

 

I find it interesting that several of us are pointing you toward resources. Some people are made aware but not given abilities themselves. After witnessing the unexplainable, it's impossible to forget or deny. The eyes have been opened. And it's damn crazymaking to the analytical, science types :excl:

 

Yep, someone shook my snowglobe really hard - and it's still shaking and snowing, not settled.

 

B

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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So, what happened to me? Why did I lose all the ground I've succeeded in conquering? I had several very traumatic experiences in a short time, and at that time I became very sick and had serious nervous system problems. I had fallen. I lost hope and fell from my Spiritual Path. I gave up doing all my Spiritual practices and had a lot of anger. I lost my home, my marriage, my business, split up my family and so on. I suffered a trauma that knocked me on my rear. So in came the psychosis again. This time, instead of turning to Spirit, I turned to doctors. AND NOW HERE I AM. But I'm going to get back on track and get out of this as I did before.

 

Hi Shanti,

 

I wanted to thank you for sharing a very powerful story. Unfortunately, even before meds, my abstract reasoning skills weren't the greatest so unfortunately, I wouldn't be very helpful in providing an analysis.

 

But I will say this based on my experiences with withdrawal - I think when we get desperate, it very understandable that we turn to doctors, especially in the case of psychosis.

 

I think Rhi may have suggested this (sorry, I am too lazy to doublecheck) but you might try contacting Will Hall, http://willhall.net/about/, a mental health counselor who has experienced schizophrenia.

 

I love your determination. You will get through this.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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Thanks CS <3 I haven't seen that link before. I'm going to read it now. He sounds like he'd be a good therapist for me!

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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Hi Shanti! Thanks for sharing so much of your experience and history with us.

 

Will Hall is a very sweet man. He says that he still does hear voices from time to time. I think he just doesn't frame it as "disease."

 

I got this in my email today:

 

Psychosis, Bipolar, and Schizophrenia As Field Evolution

with Will Hall

 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

4134 N Borthwick Ave, Portland, OR

7pm -- Free

 

An Evolver special presentation

 

Co-sponsored by Portland Hearing Voices, Portland Evolver, and the

Mental Health Association of Portland

 

What if experiences labeled bipolar or schizophrenia are instead

invitations to collaborate on mutual growth and evolution? What if

"madness" is a purposeful and self-organizing potential for broader

change?

 

Conventional frameworks view a "psychotic" disconnect from reality as

a regression to an earlier developmental stage, a deficit/imbalance

in normal functioning, or an excess of perception. Using Process

Oriented Psychology, this Evolver special presentation will explore

the meaning of "severe mental illness" and challenge us to rethink

our relationship to extreme states within and around us. It will also

offer a historical consideration of the psychedelic experience to

help understand how it relates to psychosis.

 

About the presenter: Will Hall recovered from a diagnosis of

schizophrenia and is a Portland based therapist in private practice

who teaches internationally on Mental Diversity . He holds a Masters

Degree and Diploma in Process Oriented Psychology, an awareness

paradigm pioneered by physicist and Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell.

Will hosts Madness Radio monthly on KBOO FM and is the Director of

Portland Hearing Voices, a local support, education, and training

community. www.willhall.net www.madnessradio.com

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Shanti, how is that breathing issue now? I've had a vague hollowness and hitch when I take a breath. Not painful or congested. But a hollow reflexive cough from upper chest area. I've never has respiratory probs, so can't compare, but thought I'd ask.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Thank Rhi. I liked that article. It's pretty much how I see it too.

 

Barb, my breathing is fine now. Only a couple of small involuntary breaths that were barely noticeable. Otherwise it's back to normal. I don't know if it was the peroxide or the breathing exercises that helped. But I'll keep up both of them since they're both good and healing to the brain.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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Btw, this is my second full day completely off of Paxil. I haven't had any symptoms at all :) I know it's still quite early, but I'm hoping it will stay incident free.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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My new Doctor is referring me not only to a Neurologist, but the mental health department of the Rancheria. He said they'd help me with tapering and CBT. He said he doesn't blame me for wanting off these meds. I told him about the experience I had with Paxil and he listened. He didn't say whether or not he heard of it before. I forgot to ask.

 

So I'm into about 4 days without Paxil. No major changes to my mood or physical symptoms. Actually, last night I had a brain zap but it was very mild, I barely heard it. I am noticing a bit today that I'm feeling things that I haven't felt since before Paxil. More like my old self already. Now I have to think about things. Don't know if that's good or bad. lol

 

Oh, and I'm starting a slow taper off of Vicodin now. It's not working and so I'm getting rid of it. My doctor gave me 500 mg Naproxen for the pain and after taking it a couple days, I see it's working better than the Vicodin has in a very long time.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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Naproxen works -thats good news! Antiinflammatories are amazing in some cases. Hospital had me on morphine drip and various other opiates after what was supposed to be outpatient wrist surgery. Wrist felt like it was going to explode out of soft cast. 'Pain meds' did nothing. Finally asked for antiinflammatory. IV toradol and pain was gone in. I gave the doc grief over that one. 'Lets start with the basics...' ARGH!

Inflammation hurts!

Im glad you made progress, Shanti.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Shanti, really happy to hear you've dropped the Paxil and feel okay so far.

 

Are you also taking a lot of fish oil? It's an anti-inflammatory, too, and doesn't have the adverse effects of the drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Alto. Yes, I am taking the Fish Oil still. Every day I take 2 or 3. If I take more it gives me too much ear wax and I get an ear fungus! I know that's really crazy.

 

I was taking too much Vicodin and not getting relief. I'll be in a pain management care in February and will be able to get shots. Until then, my doctor has lowered my Vicodin and gave me Methadone. It was really scary but I really have to live. I need to be able to walk. I also started seeing a Psychiatrist at the Rancharia Mental Health and was diagnosed again with Schizophrenia. She put me on a low dose of Latuda. She said it doesn't cause weight gain. She told me that Schizophrenia is a progressive illness and would get worse if I don't treat it. I do believe I have Schizophrenia and I am 100% sure my dad has it yet never treated it. I watched him get worse over the years to the point that you can't even talk to him. He always thinks you're talking when your not, like telling you to shut up even when you didn't speak. And he's always talking to invisible people. It's impossible to communicate with him. I don't want to get like that. I don't like taking psyche drugs but I don't know what else to do. I've tried Homeopathy and natural remedies but they just aren't working good enough.

 

Well, as far as my switch from Paxil to Prozac goes, it's been a total non-event. It's been almost 3 weeks since the switch and it's been totally smooth :) I'm very relieved to be off Paxil!

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

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Update: I am NOT going to take Methadone. Good Lord that is scary sh***. I'm going to just taper off the Vicodin and the Neurotin is helping more with the pain. Doctors are scary.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

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