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NaturalBorn

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i'm hopeless man, completely hopeless, i can't express my pain, i can't express how bad i feel when i realize that this will go on for YEARS. from the severety of what i felt i can just say that this will not pass in a few months. how can i live like this?, knowing that everything i will do from now on will be poor quality? i met a lot of people with drug problems, NONE of them felt the kind of sickness we felt, i really just wish that i could see some light in the end of the tunnel, because when i was off drugs i did not got one single day of improvement it was just like watching my health being sucked away and there's nothing i can do about it. i wish i could skip 5 years of my life to see if i will be fine then... this is just worst than any drug related problem i can imagine. REALLY, so please guys just help me i can't stand my life anymore

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

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You will persevere, it ducks and it's hard but you can overcome this. Are you on anything at all now?

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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It does get better. I'm only about 2 years in to WD now and I notice a big difference in where I was when it all started. There are still days where it is rough and I just want to crawl in a hole, but I'm starting to feel like myself again. For a while, nothing made it better and everything felt hopeless and I felt the same as you...but I do believe that we all will rebound from this and be better for it. Just hang in there! This is a great place to get some help, so you're in the right place. :)

Started Lexapro (escitalopram) 10mg in 2009 for general depression/mild anxiety.

Stopped taking Lexapro in August of 2013 cold turkey.

Started having vertigo/dizziness in late January of 2014. Symptoms became worse over a few months. 

Re-instated Lexapro 10mg in June of 2014. Could only handle for a week before dropping down to 5mg.

Stopped taking Lexapro in March of 2015 and began taking Celexa 10mg.

 

Also taking topamax 25mg for headaches/migraines and losartan 25mg for high blood pressure.

 

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You will persevere, it ducks and it's hard but you can overcome this. Are you on anything at all now?

yes i'm taking teazadone 150mg and seroquel 25mg and now i have to come off of it now. Really scared since my last attemp of reducing trazadone was a disaster i'm gonna try to cut the seroquel today with the help of my doctor

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

It does get better. I'm only about 2 years in to WD now and I notice a big difference in where I was when it all started. There are still days where it is rough and I just want to crawl in a hole, but I'm starting to feel like myself again. For a while, nothing made it better and everything felt hopeless and I felt the same as you...but I do believe that we all will rebound from this and be better for it. Just hang in there! This is a great place to get some help, so you're in the right place. :)

thanks a lot man, i just wonder can my body be healing from the old taper if i'm on new drugs now?

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

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I went cold turkey from 40mgs of pail 3 yrs ago this October. It's been a rough road but there are a lot of good times too, the first was super hard. Make sure to stabilize on the stuff you are on now before trying to taper off this stuff.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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I went cold turkey from 40mgs of pail 3 yrs ago this October. It's been a rough road but there are a lot of good times too, the first was super hard. Make sure to stabilize on the stuff you are on now before trying to taper off this stuff.

yeah man, it's good to see a cold turkey story like mine, thanks a lot.... you don't imagine how glad i am to have found this site and you guys! i know i have a LONG road ahead of me, and next year i'm starting college again, i know it's going to be really hard, but i'm crossing fingers. today i did an exam on my right shoulder because the most persistent and annoying symtom is the paresthesia and dystonia.of course i knew it would come back negative, and it did so to the doctors i'm perfectly healthy but i'm trying some physical therapy anyway, that helped a little bit while i was on rehab. today was kind of a "good day" not feeling like total crap right now. and really looking foward to quit the medication and get this finished, and oh boy i know i'm going to suffer A LOT, but what can we do? i'm trying to think positive. i don't know where you live, but i'm sure that here in brazil doctors are probably a little bit less informated. wich makes me pissed off

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

Hi Naturalborn,

 

It's nice to feel even just a little better and I'm glad you had that today. I hope you can stabilize on the meds you are on before you start to taper them. 

 

Unfortunately I haven't seen much evidence of many doctors in any country having much of a clue about withdrawal from antidepressants. Any of us are lucky when we find a doctor that at least is willing to listen and not immediately diagnose another illness or call it rebound/relapse.

 

It does get better though, There will be ups and downs but eventually we all get better. There are some really good recovery stories around the site and I'm sure one of the moderators will be around to give you lots more information. We're glad you found us and I'm so glad coldturkmama posted. She has been an inspiration to me. I cold turkeyed buproprion 150sr June 1 so I'm about four months in. I have had some really great windows that have given me a lot of hope.

 

You are in my thoughts

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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Hi Naturalborn,

 

It's nice to feel even just a little better and I'm glad you had that today. I hope you can stabilize on the meds you are on before you start to taper them. 

 

Unfortunately I haven't seen much evidence of many doctors in any country having much of a clue about withdrawal from antidepressants. Any of us are lucky when we find a doctor that at least is willing to listen and not immediately diagnose another illness or call it rebound/relapse.

 

It does get better though, There will be ups and downs but eventually we all get better. There are some really good recovery stories around the site and I'm sure one of the moderators will be around to give you lots more information. We're glad you found us and I'm so glad coldturkmama posted. She has been an inspiration to me. I cold turkeyed buproprion 150sr June 1 so I'm about four months in. I have had some really great windows that have given me a lot of hope.

 

You are in my thoughts

thank you, i mean THANKS A LOT, i just went to my doctor today, and actually he not just refused to help me taper but wanted to add a new med (i don't know what it is) but i said no, i'm going to see a new from now on, this site has been the best thing ever man. i think i'm gonna try reducing my seroquel first, then after that the trazadone, but i think i might have to be on it a little more time... just to stabilize, again thanks a lot for the support man, you are on my thoughts as well (sorry for gramatical mistakes, i'm brazilian haha)

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

I'm in Canada and my Dr was a moron. He never told me that is need to wean off of paxil and he never ever suggested that I could have withdrawal or anything like that. Moron!!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I'm in Canada and my Dr was a moron. He never told me that is need to wean off of paxil and he never ever suggested that I could have withdrawal or anything like that. Moron!!

doctors have been a total waste of time and money, they actually can be pretty mean sometimes... but like you said i'm gonna try to stabilize before tapering. I'm really scared about the future right now, my parents are getting older, i don't think i can handle college or work full time, i'm working for my father wich makes things a lot easie. Wished that this happened when i was older, this is gonna be hard... but anyway thanks a lot for the support guys

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

I'm in Canada and my Dr was a moron. He never told me that is need to wean off of paxil and he never ever suggested that I could have withdrawal or anything like that. Moron!!

do you also have imsonia? I find this is one of the hardests symptoms, i remember being awake for DAYS.

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

 

I'm in Canada and my Dr was a moron. He never told me that is need to wean off of paxil and he never ever suggested that I could have withdrawal or anything like that. Moron!!

doctors have been a total waste of time and money, they actually can be pretty mean sometimes... but like you said i'm gonna try to stabilize before tapering. I'm really scared about the future right now, my parents are getting older, i don't think i can handle college or work full time, i'm working for my father which makes things a lot easie. Wished that this happened when i was older, this is gonna be hard... but anyway thanks a lot for the support guys

 

I've been off and on lots of different medications and only once was I told I should taper and then it was so fast I wouldn't consider it a taper. I've gotten really lucky and found a pdoc that is letting me taper my benzo at my own rate. I'm going to do a micro-taper, because of the CT from the buproprion, and it's likely to take a few years. I just hope he doesn't reitre before I'm done!! I don't know if I would be able to find another doctor that would work with me, they are so few and far between.

 

I don't think there is any good time for withdrawal. I'm in my 50's and I wish I was younger so I could go back to school and get a job but by the time I'm able to function again that may not be an option anymore. 

 

Don't worry about your grammer :) We're here to help each other not critique language skills!! :D

 

It's going to be hard but we can do it with support from each other. 

 

Hugs and healing

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

Link to comment

I had insomnia in the beginning and it sucked so much! This too shall pass!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

 

 

I'm in Canada and my Dr was a moron. He never told me that is need to wean off of paxil and he never ever suggested that I could have withdrawal or anything like that. Moron!!

doctors have been a total waste of time and money, they actually can be pretty mean sometimes... but like you said i'm gonna try to stabilize before tapering. I'm really scared about the future right now, my parents are getting older, i don't think i can handle college or work full time, i'm working for my father wich makes things a lot easie. Wished that this happened when i was older, this is gonna be hard... but anyway thanks a lot for the support guys

 

I've been off and on lots of different medications and only once was I told I should taper and then it was so fast I wouldn't consider it a taper. I've gotten really lucky and found a pdoc that is letting me taper my benzo at my own rate. I'm going to do a micro-taper, because of the CT from the buproprion, and it's likely to take a few years. I just hope he doesn't reitre before I'm done!! I don't know if I would be able to find another doctor that would work with me, they are so few and far between.

 

I don't think there is any good time for withdrawal. I'm in my 50's and I wish I was younger so I could go back to school and get a job but by the time I'm able to function again that may not be an option anymore. 

 

Don't worry about your grammer :) We're here to help each other not critique language skills!! :D

 

It's going to be hard but we can do it with support from each other. 

 

Hugs and healing

 

yeah man, at least i still live with my parents, this would be impossible on my own... my mom is helping me SO much, even tho she don't believe me when i tell it's withdrawal related, today i had a really bad day, anxiety and tingling in my body from the moment i woke up, this seems like a never ending nightmare, sometimes it's impossible to keep some hope, also i feel like my cognitive funtioning is about 25% of it's usual i feel like i'm going retarded sometimes, yesterday i forgot my car open on the street for like 3 hours, and last week i hitted the car trying to park it, litterally everything is going fucked up on my body, sometimes i just wonder how is it possible to have so much symtoms at the same time, anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN, for encouraging a tottal stranger i'm eternally greatfull for that...

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

I had insomnia in the beginning and it sucked so much! This too shall pass!

yeah man ironacally, today i was in the work reapeting this sentence in my head "this too shall pass" even tho i was totally hopelles, not so much of a good day today. man i just swear to god, if ONE day i feel 100% again, i'm gonna comeback here and tell my story in detail. just to help and encourage other people who are dealing with this. i don't think there is anything worst that could happend to me. i really can't imagine something being worst than that, i'm praying like crazy. trying to put in my head  that it's temporary, but it takes SO LONG,... the hardest times is when i read people talking that it took years to overcome this... this is so messed up we shouldn't live in a world like that, there is so much in my head that i don't even know what to say, if there is anything good about this situation, is the relief that we are going to feel when this is over, i realyze that it's impossible to be in peace with myself and the idea that i decided to take meds having the worst time of my life

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

No worries, we are experiencing a lot of the same things you describe. I was talking with my daughter today and literally lost half of what she was saying and by the end of it I was so confused. I had no idea what she was saying. She had to go back and say it again, and I remembered her saying it previously when she repeated it. Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. 

 

When I was first in withdrawal I took a piece of paper and wrote down all of my symptoms. It filled a whole legal pad. It's crazy how much of the body is affected by these meds. 

 

Have you been told about Dr Guellermans checklist? Just in case, here it is:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/

 

I personally have added symptoms that I am having that aren't on the list and I rate them too.

 

I'm glad your mom is helping you, I'm sorry she doesn't believe it is withdrawal related. I know there is a blog or thread or something that has a letter to family member to help them understand. If I find it I will post it for you.

 

You are in my thoughts,

 

Hugs and healing

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

Link to comment

No worries, we are experiencing a lot of the same things you describe. I was talking with my daughter today and literally lost half of what she was saying and by the end of it I was so confused. I had no idea what she was saying. She had to go back and say it again, and I remembered her saying it previously when she repeated it. Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. 

 

When I was first in withdrawal I took a piece of paper and wrote down all of my symptoms. It filled a whole legal pad. It's crazy how much of the body is affected by these meds. 

 

Have you been told about Dr Guellermans checklist? Just in case, here it is:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/

 

I personally have added symptoms that I am having that aren't on the list and I rate them too.

 

I'm glad your mom is helping you, I'm sorry she doesn't believe it is withdrawal related. I know there is a blog or thread or something that has a letter to family member to help them understand. If I find it I will post it for you.

 

You are in my thoughts,

 

Hugs and healing

thanks man, just checked it, gonna use it to check my progress, i noticed that you had a 10 years period of no drugs, and then went back for pannic attacks, would you say that in those 10 years you got to feel 100% free of symtoms at some point? or if you didn't did you saw any progress or healing at all?

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

During the 10 years I was off medications I was 100%. I still had some anxiety but that is part of life, we will always have anxiety over some things. We have to learn how to deal with it in a way that makes it work for us. There is a TedTalks video about how to use anxiety to our advantage once we are through this withdrawal. You might want to keep it in mind for once you are healed.

 

 

I also found the meditation app headspace to be really good. https://www.headspace.com/ I am using it right now. I'm hoping it gives some help during withdrawal but I know it will help afterwards. I've been really impressed by it. My favorite part is that I can do a meditation for 10 minutes and I'm done!! I don't have much patience for more than that :)

 

I find it very frustrating knowing that less than a year ago I was completely functional, happy, and involved in life. Now I hide in my basement and hope my dog doesn't have to go out before someone else in the family gets home to take her out.

 

I am very lucky that my husband is super supportive. There are days when he works all day and then comes home and makes dinner while I sit in front of the computer trying to distract myself from the horrible psychological symptoms of this withdrawal. He says he can see it in my eyes when it is really bad. That and I just sit here.

 

One thing that having that 10 year period medication free does for me is lets me know that no matter how long this takes, and it will probably take me years because I have to taper a benzo super slow, I will be able to do the things that I used to do. Travel, kayak, bike, hike, zip line, garden, cook, etc. I have told myself that even if it takes say three years, that I will have a lot more years than that to get out and do things again. You will too. I imagine there are lots of things that you enjoy doing that you can't do right now, just keep in mind that you will be able to do those things again for years and years once you are through this. 

 

I know it's hard to think past this hell we are in but I find that when I am able to it really helps. 

 

Here is the link to the article for family members who are helping us. 

 

 http://www.madinamerica.com/mia-manual/best-support-guidance-family-members-carers-people-withdrawal/     

 

This part of the introduction applies to your mom I believe:  It could also be that you are frustrated – you don’t actually believe that withdrawal from a prescribed drug could cause so many problems, and so you have come here for more information. Please be assured your friend or family member is not going mad and it is not all ‘in the head!’   The article isn't that long so if she is willing to read it it could be a great help to you.

 

Hope it helps. 

 

You are in my thoughts.  {{{Hugs}}}

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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During the 10 years I was off medications I was 100%. I still had some anxiety but that is part of life, we will always have anxiety over some things. We have to learn how to deal with it in a way that makes it work for us. There is a TedTalks video about how to use anxiety to our advantage once we are through this withdrawal. You might want to keep it in mind for once you are healed.

 

 

I also found the meditation app headspace to be really good. https://www.headspace.com/ I am using it right now. I'm hoping it gives some help during withdrawal but I know it will help afterwards. I've been really impressed by it. My favorite part is that I can do a meditation for 10 minutes and I'm done!! I don't have much patience for more than that :)

 

I find it very frustrating knowing that less than a year ago I was completely functional, happy, and involved in life. Now I hide in my basement and hope my dog doesn't have to go out before someone else in the family gets home to take her out.

 

I am very lucky that my husband is super supportive. There are days when he works all day and then comes home and makes dinner while I sit in front of the computer trying to distract myself from the horrible psychological symptoms of this withdrawal. He says he can see it in my eyes when it is really bad. That and I just sit here.

 

One thing that having that 10 year period medication free does for me is lets me know that no matter how long this takes, and it will probably take me years because I have to taper a benzo super slow, I will be able to do the things that I used to do. Travel, kayak, bike, hike, zip line, garden, cook, etc. I have told myself that even if it takes say three years, that I will have a lot more years than that to get out and do things again. You will too. I imagine there are lots of things that you enjoy doing that you can't do right now, just keep in mind that you will be able to do those things again for years and years once you are through this. 

 

I know it's hard to think past this hell we are in but I find that when I am able to it really helps. 

 

Here is the link to the article for family members who are helping us. 

 

 http://www.madinamerica.com/mia-manual/best-support-guidance-family-members-carers-people-withdrawal/     

 

This part of the introduction applies to your mom I believe:  It could also be that you are frustrated – you don’t actually believe that withdrawal from a prescribed drug could cause so many problems, and so you have come here for more information. Please be assured your friend or family member is not going mad and it is not all ‘in the head!’   The article isn't that long so if she is willing to read it it could be a great help to you.

 

Hope it helps. 

 

You are in my thoughts.  {{{Hugs}}}

thanks again tntd, when i feel healed i know i will have a lot to do, tottally can relate to what you said about being in front of the computer trying to distract yourself, i try to keep it positive, but i'm naturally a really pessimist person, i think that's just a part of my personality, thanks for the video and the posts i really aprecciate this... i'm getting worried about PTSD, i had it when i was a kid going throught some kind of sickness that made me throw up like crazy, i remember that for months after i felt that i would throw up again even tho i was tottally fine.... you get it? alro worried about food sensitivities and stress related problems, i heard they can trigger symptoms, but i just don't know, will i ever be able to be like when i was 18 years old again? only god knows.... but i can say for sure, that when this is over i'm gonna be the happiest person on earth

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

You're quite welcome. I hope they help.

 

I have heard of some people developing PTSD if they have a really bad withdrawal experience, hopefully that won't be you. I think it is really rare.  I know I have a phobia of tapering because of my experience so I totally get the fear factor. 

 

Some people do have food sensitivities develop, as well as chemical sensitivities. All of it is because our central nervous system is so damaged. It has to heal and when it does most of those things go away. Stress can trigger symptoms too but that will get better over time too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this at such a young age but time should heal it all and when you are my age it will just be a distant memory and will probably feel like it happened to someone else!!! 

 

My son is a natrual pessimist too so I understand how that can make things difficult. Have you had any stabilization at all? 

 

One withdrawal symptom that is really hard is that when we are in a wave we feel like it will never end and we will always be this way. It's a lie the drugs tell us. It goes the other way too, when we are in a window it feels like it will never end. We can make it through this though. One day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. 

 

Hugs

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

Link to comment

thanks man, i think yeah i'm a little stabilized, except for the paresthesia that has not got any easier for 1 year, not a single day where i don't feel my skin burning, or imvoluntaries movements, oh boy i can go on about movement disorders.... also extremely random panic feelings, and cognitive issues.... this as well seems eternal. i think i will have to taper with those symptons going on, or i'm just gonna be on the meds forever, and that's not in my plans, if after getting off trazadone and seroquel i got a single day of normal sleep, i will consider it a victory, but i'm sure i'm gonna need a LOT of sleeping aid medication after that taper, of course using carefully to not get addicted to them. again thanks a lot tntd. i'm just really worried about permanent problems, sometimes feel stupid to believe that after this horrendous sickness my body can go back to what it was before, i just simply CAN'T deal with the idea that some symptoms will never go away, of course i'm not sure about that.... but something so extreme doesn't seem that will simply fade away

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

Hey NB,

 

I understand your fear that some of these symptoms will never go away. I'm still in the midst of withdrawal too and I feel that way more times than I like. I have read numerous success stories of people who were in tremendous pain and anxiety and other withdrawal symptoms and they all healed. It took them time, sometimes years but they did get better. We can look to them for the possiblibites and the hope for ourselves. If they got better then we can too. 

 

We will get better. We may get worse first, hopefully not, but in the end we will recover.

 

Have you read any of the success stories, or near success stories? Wellness is the moderator that is working with me on my benzo taper and her story is scary but at the same time it gives loads of hope. The things that she went through, has survived and is almost at 100%. She is an inspiration to me and to how we can heal. Here is a link to her thread. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10879-wellness-healing-nicely/#entry198831 

 

Be strong, we can make it with each other's support and we will be 100% again.

 

{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

Link to comment

yes i have read the all haha, and i just couldn't find a story like mine, somebody being nutts enought to go cold turkey from 300 mgs of effexor.... plus everybody seems to be partial healed and that's what's scaries me... i wanna be 100% and everybody talks about being healed but still worst then they were before drugs, that's my fear... yesterday i read about a lady who was on 75 mgs of effexor, tapered until 8 mgs, and then stopped and went psychotic... sometimes i fear that some other crazy symptom may pop in years after, but of course i don't know.... i know that for a period i went hypomaniac, and did all kinds of embarassing things.... sometimes i can see how i'm overworried about this, but just can't help it, memories of those 4 months of cold turkey keep coming back to me and i just feel like a roller coaster of symptoms . in my most positive thoughts i think that after this i will be "stronger" and that's what encourages me... if i could just find someboody saying like "after years i dont have ANY residual symptom" i would be glad, but anyway thanks a lot tntd you are the person that have helped me the most in this... i wish the best for you

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

Link to comment

Hi NB,

 

Thank you, I'm glad I've been able to help in some small way. I tried to respond to you yesterday but our internet service was down all day. They were fixing some server in our neighborhood.

 

I have to admit that when I first was on here I looked for someone, anyone with a similar story to mine as well. I think it's natural to want to know if someone else has gone through somethinig close to what we are going through so we can see what happened to them. I haven't been able to find anyone who had a problem cold turkeying off of Wellbutrin so I know the frustration. I quit looking after awhile. Plus I found reading all the stories at the time scared me just too much so I quit reading those and instead focused on the strategies of how to get through this horror. 

 

It sounds like your first four months were awful. Have you been able to talk with anyone about your experience? Do those thoughts come unbidden as in intrusive thoughts. Being in withdrawal our minds conjur all sorts of horrible possibilities and I think it uses past experiences as it is trying to heal. This may be why you are thinking about what happened so early on. Your brain is healing and trying to deal with everything. It is not fun and I have called the windows and waves experience a rollercoaster. Have you had any windows? some people do and some people don't. 

 

I have read some stories, I can't remember which ones, of people that are 100% better but they are not the same as they were. This experience changes us so your 100% better may be different than what you imagine it to be. It also may take awhile to get there. I know a lot of the stories I read said that they felt they are better in many ways than they were before they went through this. 

 

I think it is a common fear that either we will never get better or we won't be as good as we were. Especially since we are all ramped up with symptoms and fear is one of the symptoms so it makes the worst case scenario seeem possible. When I find myself thinking this way I try to use a lot of the coping skills that I have learned in the past, breathing, meditation, grounding, changing the channel. There are lots. I do find the one that always works is getting on the computer and reading postive posts or doing some research on a supplement I am interested in or finding a subject that I find interesting and doing research on that. My brain is pretty bad cognitively so I don't retain a lot of it but it keeps my brain off my symptoms for the time being. I also find that journaling my day, or my experiences is a helpful distraction. I either do that here or in a paper journal I have at home. I often journal while I'm watching TV. That really keeps my mind busy :) Fortunately for us our minds can only focus on one thing at a time so if you can find something that absorbs you that is not symptom related you will have some relief. 

 

Do you have any things that you like to do that keep your mind off your symptoms? 

 

I hope you are finding some sort of relief today. 

 

You are in my thoughts often and when I meditate I send healing energy and compassion your way.

 

{{{Hugs}}}

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

Link to comment

Hi NB

 

I found some success stories. The first one on this page is someone who is recovered 100%. I haven't read many of the others so I don't know how many there are. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1226-recovery-success-stories-from-around-the-web/page-4

 

I remember a story of a woman who cold turkey I think it was four meds all at once and her story ends with her being 100% recovered as well. I wish I could find it for you. 

 

Cold turkey 100% recovery stories are out there. I can't remember how I found the ones I did. Probably a search parameter I  used. I have really bad memory problems from the benzo I'm taking, it's really frustrating.  I have up and down days with it and today is kind of bad so I'm not going to even hazard a guess as to how I found that story. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1602-whatever-quit-six-meds-cold-turkey-and-lived-to-tell-about-it/ This is Whatever's recovery story, she is 100% and she cold turkey off of six meds.

 

Hope some of these help you feel better about your prospects of returning to 100%. Just remember that we all have different time lines so don't try to compare.

 

Hugs and healing to you.

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please continue this discussion in  NaturalBorn's Introduction thread.  I've quoted the previous three posts there.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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