Aelius: need to come off mirtazapine / Remeron and buspiron / Buspar

[Aelius]

Update: Change of manufacturer was a bad decision! Last evening I took Mirtazapine Orion 15mg and had horrible vivid nightmares, I woke up around 1:30 a.m. and felt so bad and started to panic about what I did. I was afraid to go back to sleep because of those nightmares. It took me one hour and a half to calm down a little bit but I wasn`t able to fall asleep. I`m exhausted, nauseous, dizzy and many more symptoms. It`s like if I took some other medication instead or missed a dose. Heck! What a waste of money and ruined health!

I`m going to stabilize on Mirtazapine Mylan 15mg. I must survive till this evening and hopefully the next dose will bring me a relief. I`ll have to ask my psychiatrist for a new prescription. I hope it won`t be a problem.

[Aelius]

Problem has been solved. I visited the pharmacist at her home and she said there is no problem to exchange Orion for Mylan for me. She`ll do it on Monday. I`ll get 3x30 Mirtazapine soltabs 30mg. She said that people are particularly sensitive when it comes to change of manufacturer of psych meds.

 

[Aelius]

12 months off Clonazepam, 10 months off Venlafaxine and 6 months off Buspirone. I`m at Mirtazapine 15 mg and will make no dose reductions in the next several weeks. I survived four weeks at work, it was very hard. Now I know for sure I won`t be able to work more than 4 hours a day. I`ll certainly need a disability to have additional income. I will post my updates here only once in three months because one month is a very short time to see any improvements. I`m definitelly better than 6 months ago but it`s still hard to cope with so many symptoms and I`m afraid some of them will be permanent damage.

 

My current symptoms:

 

1) Balance issues/dizziness - persistent postular-perceptual dizziness, very little improvement.

2)Tinnitus - it`s gone, sedatephobia (fear of silence) persists

3) Anxiety 24/7 for no apparent reason

- no improvement

4) Very poor sleep -  no improvement

5) Inner vibrations, trembling, tingling - much better

6) Neurotic bladder - every morning when I arrive at work

7) Heart palpitations, racing heart 

- comes and goes

8) Throath tightness

- sometimes in the evening.

9) Brain (cognitive fog)

10)Diarrhea

- usually twice a week

11) Fatigue

12)Morning anxiety 

13)Evening anxiety 

14)Hot flashes

at night

15)Crying spells

16) Vivid dreams 

17) Chest pressure - sometimes in the evening.

18) Depression, sadness

- on Tuesday morning very deep depression with suicidal thoughts

19) Intrusive thoughts

20) Poor concentration

21) Memory issues

22) Nausea - only a few days after dose cut

23) Physical activities intolerance

- better

24) Cognitive issues

25) Negative thinking

26) Negative obsessive thinking and emotion, anger and hate

27) Sensitivity to stress

[IrishMonkey92]

On 06/08/2017 at 11:11 AM, Aelius said:

12 months off Clonazepam, 10 months off Venlafaxine and 6 months off Buspirone. I`m at Mirtazapine 15 mg and will make no dose reductions in the next several weeks. I survived four weeks at work, it was very hard. Now I know for sure I won`t be able to work more than 4 hours a day. I`ll certainly need a disability to have additional income. I will post my updates here only once in three months because one month is a very short time to see any improvements. I`m definitelly better than 6 months ago but it`s still hard to cope with so many symptoms and I`m afraid some of them will be permanent damage.

 

My current symptoms:

 

 

1) Balance issues/dizziness - persistent postular-perceptual dizziness, very little improvement.

 

2)Tinnitus - it`s gone, sedatephobia (fear of silence) persists

 

3) Anxiety 24/7 for no apparent reason

 

- no improvement

4) Very poor sleep -  no improvement

 

5) Inner vibrations, trembling, tingling - much better

 

6) Neurotic bladder - every morning when I arrive at work

 

7) Heart palpitations, racing heart 

 

- comes and goes

8) Throath tightness

 

- sometimes in the evening.

9) Brain (cognitive fog)

 

10)Diarrhea

 

- usually twice a week

11) Fatigue

 

12)Morning anxiety 

 

13)Evening anxiety 

 

14)Hot flashes

 

at night

15)Crying spells

 

16) Vivid dreams 

 

17) Chest pressure - sometimes in the evening.

 

18) Depression, sadness

 

- on Tuesday morning very deep depression with suicidal thoughts

19) Intrusive thoughts

 

20) Poor concentration

 

21) Memory issues

 

22) Nausea - only a few days after dose cut

 

23) Physical activities intolerance

 

- better

24) Cognitive issues

 

25) Negative thinking

 

26) Negative obsessive thinking and emotion, anger and hate

 

27) Sensitivity to stress

 

 

 

Aelius how are you now? 

 

I have the PPPD too. It’s like a sensation that my blood is pulsating and it feels like I’m on a boat or water raft. When I go on long car journeys and when I get out I feel horrible, my rocking/swaying and vision is terrible. I went on a 4 hour drive yesterday and now I feel the trampoline walk is back, and the ground feels like it’s swaying back and forth under me. 

 

Is this what you experience? Does your sensations go away or ease when in motion (driving in a car)? 

[Aelius]

Hello all,

 

it`s been nearly a years since my last post here. I didn`t come here because I didn`t want to be tempted to read horror stories. I needed to disctract from antidepressants topics as much as possible. I`ve been working part time since last October and my life was a pure hell till the end of April when my condition improved. It took me a whole year to reduce from 15mg to 5mg of Mirtazapine. Tapering from lower doses is truly a bigger chalenge. I`d like to reach 0mg byt the end of Q1/2019. I`ll see how it goes.

 

My current symptoms:

1) Balance issues/dizziness - persistent postular-perceptual dizziness. I`ve had it for two years now. It`s much better than a year ago, though. I`m able to walk without sticks.

 

2)Tinnitus - I believe the one caused by Buspirone withdrawal is gone, but now I have a tinnitus because of my bad jaw joint (already with degenerative changes). All the issues linked to severe withdrawal anxiety have made my chewing muscles very stiff. It seems I`ll most likely have to live with it till I die. It`s very annoying. I`m going for a special physiotherapy because of that. Hopefully it`ll bring me some relief.

 

3) Anxiety 24/7 for no apparent reason - the level of anxiety is lower

 

4) Very poor sleep -  better, sometimes I wake up only only once a night. In waves my sleep is worse, of course.

 

5) Inner vibrations, trembling, tingling - it has also improved significantly

 

6) Neurotic bladder - every morning when I arrive at work

 

7) Heart palpitations, racing heart - only in waves

 

8)Throath tightness - from time to time, not a big issue any more

 

9) Brain (cognitive fog) - still very often

 

10)Diarrhea - comes and goes

 

11) Fatigue - this is still a big problem. I have days when I feel so tired and sleepy.

 

12)Morning anxiety - I call it a morning terror when my body is trembling. I have it nearly every morning.

 

13)Evening anxiety - everytime I go to bed. It`s probably subsconscious fear based on lived traumas.

 

14)Hot flashes - it happens when I wake from a horrible dream and my body is burning.

 

15)Crying spells - I`m still very sensitive and prone to crying when I see or hear something sad.

 

16) Vivid dreams - after dose reduction. I have terrible violent nightmares.

 

17) Chest pressure - sometimes in the evening.

 

18) Depression, sadness - much better

 

19) Intrusive thoughts 20) Poor concentration 21) Memory issues 23) Physical activities intolerance 24) Cognitive issues 25) Negative thinking 26) Negative obsessive thinking and emotion, anger and hate 27) Sensitivity to stress - all these symptoms have got better.

 

I wish all the sufferers here a quick recovery.

 

 

[IrishMonkey92]

12 minutes ago, Aelius said:

Hello all,

 

it`s been nearly a years since my last post here. I didn`t come here because I didn`t want to be tempted to read horror stories. I needed to disctract from antidepressants topics as much as possible. I`ve been working part time since last October and my life was a pure hell till the end of April when my condition improved. It took me a whole year to reduce from 15mg to 5mg of Mirtazapine. Tapering from lower doses is truly a bigger chalenge. I`d like to reach 0mg byt the end of Q1/2019. I`ll see how it goes.

 

My current symptoms:

1) Balance issues/dizziness - persistent postular-perceptual dizziness. I`ve had it for two years now. It`s much better than a year ago, though. I`m able to walk without sticks.

 

2)Tinnitus - I believe the one caused by Buspirone withdrawal is gone, but now I have a tinnitus because of my bad jaw joint (already with degenerative changes). All the issues linked to severe withdrawal anxiety have made my chewing muscles very stiff. It seems I`ll most likely have to live with it till I die. It`s very annoying. I`m going for a special physiotherapy because of that. Hopefully it`ll bring me some relief.

 

3) Anxiety 24/7 for no apparent reason - the level of anxiety is lower

 

4) Very poor sleep -  better, sometimes I wake up only only once a night. In waves my sleep is worse, of course.

 

5) Inner vibrations, trembling, tingling - it has also improved significantly

 

6) Neurotic bladder - every morning when I arrive at work

 

7) Heart palpitations, racing heart - only in waves

 

8)Throath tightness - from time to time, not a big issue any more

 

9) Brain (cognitive fog) - still very often

 

10)Diarrhea - comes and goes

 

11) Fatigue - this is still a big problem. I have days when I feel so tired and sleepy.

 

12)Morning anxiety - I call it a morning terror when my body is trembling. I have it nearly every morning.

 

13)Evening anxiety - everytime I go to bed. It`s probably subsconscious fear based on lived traumas.

 

14)Hot flashes - it happens when I wake from a horrible dream and my body is burning.

 

15)Crying spells - I`m still very sensitive and prone to crying when I see or hear something sad.

 

16) Vivid dreams - after dose reduction. I have terrible violent nightmares.

 

17) Chest pressure - sometimes in the evening.

 

18) Depression, sadness - much better

 

19) Intrusive thoughts 20) Poor concentration 21) Memory issues 23) Physical activities intolerance 24) Cognitive issues 25) Negative thinking 26) Negative obsessive thinking and emotion, anger and hate 27) Sensitivity to stress - all these symptoms have got better.

 

I wish all the sufferers here a quick recovery.

 

 

I have PPPD too. Does yours go away when you lay down? How are you when in passive motion (like in driving car) does it go away? How after you after travelling in a car? Is it worse? 

[Aelius]

2 hours ago, IrishMonkey92 said:

I have PPPD too. Does yours go away when you lay down? How are you when in passive motion (like in driving car) does it go away? How after you after travelling in a car? Is it worse? 

It gets better when I lay down, but it doesn`t go away entirely, it has never gone away. Surprisingly it`s better when I arrive at work and get out of a car. On the contrary when I arrive at home after work and get out of the car, it`s definitely worse, I feel more unstable. In case I`m not driving and I`m just a passenger, it seems it doesn`t affect my balance.

[IrishMonkey92]

On 7/29/2018 at 5:34 PM, Aelius said:

It gets better when I lay down, but it doesn`t go away entirely, it has never gone away. Surprisingly it`s better when I arrive at work and get out of a car. On the contrary when I arrive at home after work and get out of the car, it`s definitely worse, I feel more unstable. In case I`m not driving and I`m just a passenger, it seems it doesn`t affect my balance.

Yes I find this to be the case also! I’m fine in the mornings but as the day goes on it’s worse. Also the longer the journey, the worse it is. If I’m driving at night it’s also worse when I get out, than if I was doing the same distance in daylight. 

 

When you are a passenger, are you looking out the window still as if you were driving or are you looking elsewhere? I’m trying to understand why you wouldn’t be affected as a passenger but are as the driver? 

[Aelius]

On 7/31/2018 at 3:12 PM, IrishMonkey92 said:

Yes I find this to be the case also! I’m fine in the mornings but as the day goes on it’s worse. Also the longer the journey, the worse it is. If I’m driving at night it’s also worse when I get out, than if I was doing the same distance in daylight. 

 

When you are a passenger, are you looking out the window still as if you were driving or are you looking elsewhere? I’m trying to understand why you wouldn’t be affected as a passenger but are as the driver? 

I`m looking elsewhere. Maybe the reason is simple, I don`t have to focus on driving and I`m less tired. My PPPD mostly resembles a trampoline walk and it`s always worse in the evening.

[Aelius]

I have reached another milestone on my journey. Now I`m at 3mg of Mirtazapine which is only 10% of original dose! Hurray!

[Aelius]

Last week I finally came off of Mirtazapine after tapering it for 2.5 years. It took me half a year to reduce from 30mg to 15mg, one year from 15mg to 5mg and from 5mg to 0mg one year as well. During whole tapering process I had usual waves and windows. Sometimes it was very hard to cope with all the symptoms but as times passed the became more and more manageable. Last November I increased my workload from 4 to 6 hours a day and I was just fine with that. This spring my condition got even better to the point that I could do all the daily tasks as a normal heatlhy person (with some limits of course) and I was thinking to start working full time in fall.

 

Last Wednesday I took my last dose. I was pretty confident I was doing nothing wrong. Unfortunatelly, last Friday my condition began to get worse with horrific vivid dreams, morning anxiety and fatigue. Saturday morning was pretty bad with dislike for food. Sunday morning was quite good but after lunch I started to feel miserable again and had to go to bed. Moday morning was even worse than last Saturday. I tried to take 0.5mg to alleviate the symptoms but it didn`t help at all. At Tuesday night withdrwal hit me hard with night terror. A panic attack woke me up from sleep 1.5 hours after falling asleep. It repeated 2 hours later. Last night was even more brutal as for intensity and symptoms of panic attacks. I even had a wave a depression and cried. It always got better during the day and I could work. Luckily my boss gave us home office for entire summer so I don`t have to go to the office.

 

Frankly, I`m shocked, frustrated, appaled, angry, sad and hopeless. I didn`t expect such a horrible withdrawal again. The worst nightmare has returned and I have fear to go sleep at night again. I don`t understand why panic attacks wake me up at night. Why nights are the worts parts of the day? I hate these night terrors so much. What this long tapering was good for? It seems to me it was completely useless because the outcome is nearly the same as if I went cold turkey. I know I was tapering faster than recommended 10% every four weeks but my symptoms were manageable and my overall health condition was good and improving gradually in the course of time. Perhaps I should have stayed on lower doses several weeks longer. I don`t know what I will do if this takes several months to get better again. Reinstatement didn`t work for me with Buspirone. I see no sence in reinstating such a tiny dose of Mirtazapine. I`m not even able to precisely weight such a small dose on my weight. I don`t have a liguid form.

 

My current symptoms:

 

1) Balance issues/dizziness - persistent postular-perceptual dizziness (PPPD). I`ve had it for three years now. It`s much better than a year ago. Last improvement  was at the end of February, though. I believe this will be permanent and never fully go away. Most likely some kind of damage done by clonazepam.

 

2) Anxiety 24/7 for no apparent reason – it was much better till withdrawal hit me again  

 

3) Very poor sleep – night terrors, extreme panic attacks lasting several hours

 

4) Inner vibrations, trembling, tingling – was 95% gone, now it`s back

 

5) Neurotic bladder  

 

6) Heart palpitations, racing heart 

 

7) Brain (cognitive fog) – as a result of fatigue and poor sleep

 

8)Diarrhea returned

 

9) Fatigue – was complete gone, I had enough energy all day long, now it`s back

 

10)Morning anxiety – trembling of my body

 

11)Evening anxiety – fear to fall asleep 

 

12)Hot flashes – during panic attacks at night

 

13)Crying spells – first time today after a very long time

 

14) Vivid dreams - terrible violent nightmares

 

15) Light depression – was completely away before

 

 

 

[Aelius]

Last night I had panic attacks again. It woke me up at the same time like previous night - at midnight and 2.30 a.m.  My panic attacks are as described in this article https://timewith.co.uk/blog/panic-attacks-at-night

They don`t last 10-30 minutes, though. They take hours and advices provided in the article don`t help. Today I`ve had these symptoms all day long. It`s like a permanent panic attack. In the past it was triggered by antidepressants and withdrawal from them and from clonazepam. It`s getting worse and I`ll most likely end up on a sick leave waiting several months for improvement. It`s hard to believe this is a result of 2.5-year long Mirtazapine taper. Maybe I`m simply ill and need to take some medication. I should have stayed on a low dose of Mirtazapine forever. Two weeks ago I would not imagine I would be in the same place like three years ago out of the blue. This is not fair.

[Aelius]

Last night I didn`t have a panic attack therefore I got a better sleep. Anxiety for no apparent reason during the day is back, though. It`s worse in the evening. It`s like as it was many months ago. I`m tired and have a brain fog.

[Altostrata]

Despite your tapering, it sounds like you still got some destabilization from going off mirtazapine completely. A history of going on and off psychiatric drugs can make your nervous system vulnerable to such problems.

 

Typically, people recover from withdrawal in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

You might have rough patches for quite a while. A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Magnesium can be calming.

 

If you wish to reinstate perhaps 0.25mg for a while, you might make a liquid, as explained in Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[ChessieCat]

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[Aelius]

15 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Despite your tapering, it sounds like you still got some destabilization from going off mirtazapine completely. A history of going on and off psychiatric drugs can make your nervous system vulnerable to such problems.

 

Typically, people recover from withdrawal in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

You might have rough patches for quite a while. A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Magnesium can be calming.

 

If you wish to reinstate perhaps 0.25mg for a while, you might make a liquid, as explained in Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

Hello. Thanks for your reply and your concern. Last night no panic attack either. Just burning skin, waking up frequently at night and something which resembles allergic rhinitis and cough in the morning. I remember I often had horrible cough in the morning while tapering Mirtazapine but this kind of cold is a completely new symptom. I assume it has something to do with the fact that Mirtazapine is an antihistamine. I feel distinctly better than yesterday. I`m trying to relax.

[Aelius]

16 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

Thanks for the link to this excellent essay. Especially chapter 12 reminded me nothing extraordinary is happening at the moment. There still be waves and windows. I expect it can take 2-3 more years to return to the pre-drugs condition. I decided not to reinstate and let my CNS to fight it without the presence of the drug. I`ve been though worse and I will endure.

[Markolo1980]

Hi, i I just read your story, how are u now??

[Longroadhome]

@Aelius

hello there I was wondering if you still have the dizziness/floaty boat feeling you  suffered from 

I was reading the dizziness thread as I am suffering with this too

if yours has gone away how long did you have it and did it go away on its own ? 
I have  had mine for 5  months now 

Thank you and hope you are recovering 

Longroadhome 

[Aelius]

On 12/11/2020 at 10:35 AM, Longroadhome said:

@Aelius

hello there I was wondering if you still have the dizziness/floaty boat feeling you  suffered from 

I was reading the dizziness thread as I am suffering with this too

if yours has gone away how long did you have it and did it go away on its own ? 
I have  had mine for 5  months now 

Thank you and hope you are recovering 

Longroadhome 

Hi. It hasn`t gone away. I`ve had it for 4.5 years now. I had no improvement between February 2019 and February 2020. It was desparate and hopeless. Luckily last year I had three small improvements. This symptom gets better and worse all the time. It`s like one step forward and two steps backwards. It feels like walking on a trampoline. Currently this is my worst symptom.

[Longroadhome]

Sounds like windows and waves !

are you off all meds now ?

if so when did you take your last one ? 
Thank you for your reply much appreciated 

[Aelius]

On 1/24/2021 at 2:58 PM, Longroadhome said:

Sounds like windows and waves !

are you off all meds now ?

if so when did you take your last one ? 
Thank you for your reply much appreciated 

Hey. Yes, I`ve been completely meds free since 10th July 2019.

 

[Ebee12058]

Hi Aelius,

I'm so sorry you are going through such horrible suffering because of buspirone. Has the anxiety/depression gotten better? I made the mistake of quitting buspirone cold turkey in December 2020, after only taking for 2.5 weeks, & have been suffering horribly ever since. The anxiety & depression can be unbearable. Also hyperarousal, irritability, insomnia, & extreme sensitivity to light & sound. It's been 6 weeks, & I don't seem to be getting better. I was wondering if you recommended reinstatement? I know you said your reinstatement was not successful. Did reinstating make your symptoms/things worse? This is what I'm afraid of.

[Longroadhome]

@Aelius

how are you doing now regarding symptoms ? 
hope you are improving