Becassine: Scared and confused

[Becassine]

I stopped cipralex in November 2014 too fast now that I understand what a 10% tapering means. I did not think much about it at the beginning except I was short tempered and always angry and started to need to drink wine everyday.

 

But the beginning of 2015, My depression came back so worse than ever before with severe OCD and suicidal thoughts and I just could not control my thoughts. Just constant racing thoughts and of course poor sleep patterns. Went to a psychiatric to start dealing with my OCD and anxiety in December 2015.

 

By March 2016, I started to have tingling in my feet and it has been non stop now with on top of that muscle pains, achiness, muscle twitches that scares me. A neurologist gave me a nerve conducting test that revealed nothing and the various clinical test for ms, but concluded that I have fibromyalgia because my body was so sore but at the time I was struck by severe anxiety and was relying on .25mg of clonozepam (back in July 2016).

 

I am now on various supplements : magnesium l-threonate, complex b, sublingual b12, among other thing. I don't eat meat but eat lots of fish, no alcohol at all, gluten free but I don't seem to be able to shake the physical symptoms even though I try so har dot meditate, do yoga, taichi. Some days I feel so low and desperate that want to die in my sleep. I have terrible bouts of crying spells and I am afraid I will never feel better.

 

Is it normal for the physical symptoms to have suddenly appeared few months after stopping the ads.

 

On top of all, in a moment of weakness I agreed to start lyrica and it help with body pains but now, I want off as it seems to twiching is getting worse. I am now at 50 mg in the morning and 75 mg at night. Did this set me back ?

I will welcome any suggestions, words or encouragement and just to be told I am not dying or going crazy.
Thank you

Edited September 30, 2016 by ChessieCat
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[ChessieCat]

Hi Becassine,

 

Welcome to SA.  To answer your question, yes withdrawal symptoms can appear many months down the track after stopping a drug too quickly or cold turkey. 

 

Thank you for completing your drug history.  Did you have OCD before starting any drugs?  What was the original reason for starting on drugs?  Having the answer to these questions can indicate whether the depression, anxiety, OCD was caused by the drugs or withdrawal from the drugs.

 

Please check out these topics and then ask any questions:

 

Before you begin tapering what you need to know

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

glenmullen_symptoms_AS Appendix 1.pdf

 

Brain Remodelling (Rhi's Description of Brain Healing)

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

Delayed Onset of Withdrawal Symptoms

 

You can ask questions here in your Intro/Update topic and journal your progress.  Click "Follow" top right and you will be notified when someone responds.

[Becassine]

Thank you chessiecat for your prompt reply. I will try my best to re trace my history. My memory is so bad and I seem to just get stuck in my brain lately.

I appreciate your reassurance and am so great full to have found this site.

Looking forward to educating myself through this site.

[ChessieCat]

You're welcome.  I can remember my relief when someone replied so quickly to my first post.  I had never been on a forum before and wasn't even sure that my post would get seen.

 

I can understand how hard it is.  Once my dose started getting lower I found I was able to recall more things from the time I was on ADs (25 years) especially things in the last 5 years which had been a bit of a blur.

[Becassine]

Chessiecat, to answer your question :

 

1- I was started on medication for depression but it was most likely because of hormonal shifts due to being close to menopause. Then in 2011, what prompted going back on Ssri was the death of my best friend. I have to say, I have been feeling worse and worse since 2011.

 

2- my OCD was not the same before. Nor my depression or my anxiety. This time, everything is magnified. I have constant racing thoughts and fear. I have now to avoid all kind of stress. The last two years have been bad due to toxic family issues. I had to cut ties with my family in order to survive emotionally. Also, my OCD is now more like racing thoughts. It used to be about order, and a clean house and not about constant fears. I used to be in control of lots of things. Now everything frightens me. I have always have health anxiety but now it is so magnified with absolutely everything frightening me.

 

I have also so many body issues that I had to stop running and doing weight training. Even swimming is a challenge on my neck and shoulders. I was diagnosed last July with fibromyalgia but I jus think it is an easy diagnosis. I am now doing regularly taichi, yoga and meditation but it is a challenge to keep going minute by minute. I am reading now on your site abut windows of feeling better. I have to say, I only felt that yesterday for 5 minutes, is that. Then i came home and was overwelmed by the muscle twiches and uncomfortable feelings in my feet. Everyday I wake up with that awful whistling in my ears and muscle tightness in my legs and just want to go back to sleep.

 

Thanks for listening.

Edited September 30, 2016 by ChessieCat
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[ChessieCat]

Hi again,

 

I'm providing some links to topics here on the site.  Regarding your thyroid treatment, how often do you get it checked to see if you need to have the dosage adjusted?

 

OCD Obsessive Thoughts, Compulsive Behaviours

 

Fear, terror, panic, and anxiety

 

Neuro Emotions

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Tips for tapering off Lyrica (pregabalin)

 

thyroid-symptoms-hypothyroid-hashimotos

 

The only 2 supplements recommended by SA are Magnesium and Omega-3 Fish Oil.  When starting something new try one thing at a time and start with a small amount and build up the dosage.

[Becassine]

My Levo was doubled during the summer. I finally convinced the endocrinologist to test both antibodies for hashimoto. I also convinced her to start me on a little bit of t3 hormones though the dosage is so insignificant, it will most likely make me feel worse, according to a forum I belong to a s well to help me understand my thyroid. Doctors are afraid to increase your dosage because of fear of heart attack. In effect, since my dosage has doubled, my heart palpitations stopped.

Anyway, I also supplement in b12 and vit d3 and b complex and selenium and vitamin c and have a clean gluten free diet.

My thyroid will be checked again in 5 weeks as well as my parathyroids.

Thanks for helping me on my path to recovery. Today did not start too well. But then, most days start like this for the past few years.

This site feels like an anchor to sanity.

Take care

[Becassine]

About lyrica : is it ok to stop lowering the way I increased since I started 7 weeks ago? I started my tapering 10 days ago.

As for my thyroid, I am almost certain that my hypothyroid contribute with my depression back in 2008 because when I check my blood work, my TSH was above the limit but was not treated then

I am the one who insisted back in 2012 to start treatment as my whole family has thyroid issues.

Thx again.

[herewego]

Many in withdrawal find that B complex and B vitamins cause stress - is too activating for a central nervous system in withdrawal. You might want to try stopping those and see if you improve a bit.

[Becassine]

Thank you herewego,

I am a little bit of a pickle since I get injection of b12. People with hypothyroidism usually have issues with absorbing b12 and folic acid.

I guess I might need to find a good naturopath to help me out in this one.

I appreciate your input. Today has been a little scary with awful muscle spasms and twitches.

Am not sure if magnesium l-threonate really works. Have you tried it? I see you take magnesium glycinate. Does it work doe you?

Thank you

[ChessieCat]

Here is SA's topic on Magnesium

[herewego]

If you need the B12 for medical reasons then you could try just stopping the B complex at least - just stopping that may help. The magnesium glycinate doesn't seem to cause any bad side effects that I can tell - I usually take it in evenings and I think it is calming from how I feel. A lot of people here find magnesium calming. Some kinds are not so easy on the tummy. If you read the link Chessie gave you on magnesium you can see which ones are recommended. Some here also find Epsom salt baths very calming (Epsom is also magnesium) - you absorb the magnesium through your skin.

[Becassine]

Chessiecat, herewego,

Thank you for your input. I realize I have a lot to learn.

Will read more into b complex and magnesium.

I felt so bad today that coming here was like looking for oxygen.

[ChessieCat]

Here's the topic on:  hypersensitive-to-b-vitamin-or-b-vitamin-complex  See Post#9

[Becassine]

Wow! Read a lot about magnesium chloride! Very interesting. As for b complex, it is interesting as one day, I actually thought that after taking my b complex I had a big anxiety issue and could not calm down but I forgot about this. I also r,ember having itchy skin. I will stop for the next few days and see if it calms my anxiety. I also believe that despite my clean diet, my anxiety might be in the way of getting enough magnesium.

Thanks again. It is empowering to learn so much. Hopefully my muscles twiches will calm down tonight.

[Vonnegutjunky]

Welcome becassine!

 

This place is awesome!!

 

You will find lots of great information and help!!

Listen to the mods! I'm proof they know what to do!!

 

Hope some light finds you ❤️

[Becassine]

Thank you Vonnegutjunky. I am trying really hard today but am having really tough time to just stay at the surface. Maybe if I meditate I will feel better.

[Becassine]

Is it still the same rule of 10% tapering if you only started on lyrica 8 weeks ago? I have increased by 25 mg per weeks. I am now back down to 50mg in the morning and 75 mg at night.

Thank you.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Becassine,

 

I merged your new topic, which you created in the Introductions area, with your existing Intro/Update topic.  Each member has one Intro/Update topic where they can ask questions about their own situation.  Doing this keeps your history, the questions and responses you receive in one place for both you and other members.

[ChessieCat]

I can't find the information at the moment about doing a faster taper when only having been on the drug for a short period of time.

 

However because you have been on and come off klonopin and cipralex within the last few years we don't know how or if your CNS has been affected I think it would be best to follow the suggestion in this post in Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ

 

Remember to keep daily notes on paper of doses & times taken, what symptoms improve and what worsens.

 

 

"Can I go any faster than 10% reduction per month?

It's best to go slowly to find out how you tolerate a reduction. Once you damage your nervous system with withdrawal symptoms, it can take a very long time to feel good again.

But -- many people do fine with a faster taper. Are you one of them? You can't tell. We advocate a harm reduction approach to tapering:
 

• Initially, make a 10% reduction and hold there for a MONTH. It can take several weeks for withdrawal symptoms to emerge. Do that again the second month.

• If you have very minor or no symptoms from these 2 reductions, you can try reducing by 10% every 3 weeks. Do that twice. If no problems, reduce by 10% every 2 weeks. Do that twice.

• If no problems after 4.5 months of very gradual reduction, you may be able to reduce by 10% every week.

• If significant withdrawal symptoms appear, make smaller cuts or go slower. Listen to your body."

[Becassine]

What about if I need to withdraw because of side effects? I am having some muscle issues with my leg and it is painful. I don't want to take painkillers. My doctor, of cours,e suggested to taper the way I came up! I am so mad for starting this medication.

[ChessieCat]

You could try doing the next reduction the way your doctor suggested and see how it goes.  That is your decision.  If that goes okay then you could do the next one again as your doctor suggested.  You may be able to lower your dose quickly to start with, and hopefully the side effects will lessen, and then slow down after that if you start getting bad withdrawal symptoms.  There is no exact (or possibly any) science behind the suggestions, just observations made.

 

Just take it one step at a time and keep daily notes.

 

Have you read this topic.  It is one of SA's recommended supplements:  Magnesium.  The other is Omega-3 Fish Oil

[Becassine]

Thank you for your patience and your dedication to educate me. After reading few threads, this is what I learn.

1- keeping a daily diary is important

2- making sure to get proper supplements to help with the withdrawal. Need to get fish oil. Then also look into what is the best magnesium for me. I believe I may be lacking magnesuim because of the constant stres I feel I am under. I noticed I have no capacity any longer to tolerate the smallest upset without getting thrown into huge anxiety and guilt and fear.

3- be very patient and kind

4- practice everyday meditation, yoga or taichi.

5- keeping up with clean diet though I am having problem finding the energy to eat and I use to love food.

Again thanks so much.

[ChessieCat]

Here are some SA links for some ideas.  JanCarol loves the "legs up the wall" yoga position.  Dr Claire Weekes herself suffered anxiety, she talks about fear of the fear, or secondary fear.  Another type of fear is anticipatory fear.

 

1. Yoga for calming (very simple poses can help greatly)
2. Acceptance
3. Acceptance and Mindfulness
4. Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System
5. "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms
6. Change cognitive framing - Redirect - Another Way
7. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression
8. Cognitive Behavior Therapy lessons

 

I believe that when we are stressed the brain is diverted from healing because it is busy trying to keep us safe by going into "fight or flight" mode.  If we understand what is happening it takes away some of the fear (fear of the unknown) and we can use ways to cope.  This can help to minimise the stress and/or reduce the length of time of the stress.

[Becassine]

 

Hi again, so done a lot of searching around the site and learned a lot.

As for my "progress" : I am trying to incorporate new supplements like fish oil and taurine but find it hard to track my day to day issues.

The past week, I found myself tearing up a lot and being discouraged. Wishing to die in my sleep. The constant issues of tingling in my feet, the tinnitus, the left leg muscle tightness, the overwhelming anxiety. Had my physical today and doctor asked me if I wanted to go back on an antidepressants. I told her that I felt now like the alcoholic who cannot start the first glass without falling into full blown alcoholism. I am afraid I won't recover. I also have an awful sore throat though my doctor could not find anything wrong with my throat. Is it part of the long list of protracted symptoms. I remember getting an awful sore throat two year ago after trying to taper off of cipralex.

I don't have a problem falling asleep but I keep waking up and then the physical symptoms overwhelmed me.

I try journaling but I can't focus on what I have even ate or what supplement I took five minutes earlier. Everything is becoming a source of stress like taking a shower! What if I discover more symptoms while showering? Isthat normal? My doctor to,d me there is no way this was due to withdrawal from antidepressants. I am feeling very poorly right. I had gentle massage today with essential oil and could not even finish it because the smell of oils send me into an emotional state! Could not understand why the smell overwhelmed me or maybe the massage triggered something. God knows!

I want to keep busy but as soon I try to get myself going, I lose focus and motivation.

Anyway, that's where I am at. I am afraid of what my mind is thinking. Like if I can't recognize a true thought process or one that is produced by neuro emotions. The strongest emotions right now is fear and sadness, incredible sadness and just plain fear

[ChessieCat]

You might find this helpful:  Keep notes on paper or this Rate Symptoms Daily to Check Patterns and Progress