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safeone: Despair


safeone

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Hello.

 

I'm new to the site. But not new to the withdrawall.

 

I had been on Citalopram on and off for about 14 years.  I tapered off pretty good.... It was afterwards when thing happened.  I had severe crying bouts and depression...and a lot of headaches and blurred vision.  All kinds of pain. I was coping okay because i read about the 'Wave and Windows' theory.  It has kept me going since my Doc always told me i'd have to take them for the rest of my life.

 

The last few days have been really hard...It's come on all at once.  Headache, saddness, doom, depression and crying bouts..... a few weeks ago it wasn't as bad as this.

 

I read on a site that it takes some people 4-5 years to get better.  I think this has really upset me.  I'm thinking about this as i type on here.

 

I really DONT want to go back on them but i don't think i could live like this for 4-5 years.

 

Oh and the Citalopram made me drink excessively every single night.  I haven't drank since i quit and i'm pleased with that as i was drinking very heavly for years.

 

At the moment i'm sweating very bad and have a very bad headache.

 

Please can anyone give me some advice so i won't go back on them.

 

Many Thanks...Safeone

Edited by ChessieCat
Formatted for ease of reading

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi safeone and welcome to SA,

 

Thank you for completing you drug signature.  We need some additional information so that we have all the details.  If you are taking any other drugs, prescription or non-prescription or supplements, please add these to your signature and include the dose.  Please also include dates for the different doses of citalopram.  If you can't remember dates, please write it as "early March" or "mid-August".

 

Once we have the extra information we will be better able to offer suggestions based on your individual situation.

 

Even though you have already tapered, please read the information in this link as it contains information which you might find interesting and/or helpful:  Before you begin tapering what you need to know

 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Brain Remodelling


Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

 

You can ask questions here in your Intro/Update topic and journal your progress.  Click "Follow" top right and you will be notified when someone responds.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • 3 months later...

it's been six months since I've been off citalopram.. Since Dec 24th 2016 my symptoms have gone down hill

I can't stop crying. My chest is hurting really bad. I can't seem to **** this feeling of depression.

I really don't want to start back on the pills although I don't know just how long I can keep this up.

The symptoms have gotten much worse since last October.. I could tolerate the symptoms then...but now

They are 10 times worse..Can someone please give me some advice. I can't go on like this much longer...

Thanks in advance

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

Link to comment

Hello Safeone

 

I am so sorry you are suffering.

 

In ChessieCats post to you 3rd October she has asked if you  can provide on your signature the dates and doses during your taper from Citalopram. This will help the moderators work out why you may be feeling the way you do.

 

An example would be:

 

Dec 2015 40 mgs Cit

Jan  2016  38 mgs Cit 

Feb 2016   35 mgs Cit    and so on. 

 

Also if you are taking any other medications or supplements.

 

Once they have this information they will be in a better position to advise you.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Can someone please advise me..I'm so miserable. I can't get rid of the the depression that has overcome me. My chest is hurting very badly.the feeling of gloom and despair is awful

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

Link to comment

Can someone please advise me if I could reinstate to take away the pain and gloom

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Post #1 of the reinstatement topic contains a lot of information.  Please read this post carefully, maybe even jotting down notes as you go and then maybe even reading it again after you have read the other links.

 

There is no guarantee that reinstatement will work, and sometimes reinstating can make things worse.

 

Unfortunately nobody knows what will happen and it is a decision that only you can make after having read up on it so you can make an informed decision.  Please do not go back on the last dose you were taking.  SA recommends trying a very small dose* (see end of post) of the drug and taking this for 10 days (unless you get a bad reaction, then you would stop immediately).  It is recommended that you keep a diary of symptoms improvement/worsening/staying the same.  The idea of reinstatement isn't to get rid of all withdrawal symptoms but to bring symptoms to a bearable level.

 

I've bolded the important links which you should read first:

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Keep Notes on Paper

 

Rate Symptoms Daily to Check Patterns and Progress

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

Making a citalopram solution yourself

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

*  Because you stopped taking 2.5 mg at the end of July 2016, you could try a dose as low as 0.25 mg or 0.50 mg  (ie 1/4 or 1/2 of a mg).  These drugs are very strong and your brain will have already made same changes since you were on the drug and may only need the tiniest amount.  It is recommended to start low and if things don't improve over the next 10 or so days then you can increase by a small amount.  Please note:  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

Please have a thorough read of the information links I have provided and then ask any questions you might have.  The question we cannot answer is "What will happen?"  It is unanswerable and nobody knows.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

Thanks chessie cat..it was so unbearable that I went ahead and reinstated 5 mg.I still feel very depressed and the pain is still there..I'm going to give it 10 days or so..

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

5mg is a very large dose to reinstate, especially since that was double what you were taking.  You may want to reduce it from now on and only take 0.25mg.

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose to get to steady state in the blood and a few more before it is recognised in the brain.  If you are going to reduce the dose it would be better to do it sooner rather than later.

 

Please update your signature whenever you make a change so it remains current and can be seen at a glance.  Thank you.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

Thanks Chrissie cat.I'm in bed at the moment...exhausted..tomorrow I'll change the signature also my dosage although I felt okay with the 5mg...I mean nothing really changed...but I didn't have any problems....so far

2002 July 20 mg fluoxetine

Jan 2006

 10 mg  stopped 2006.

2007 march 20 mg citalopram,40 mg

june 2008

20 mg Jan 2016

10mg may 2016

5 mg june 2016

2.5 july 2016.

stopped completely end of July 2016

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

The lower the dose you can reinstate at the less time it will take to get off the drug completely.

 

If it were me and this is my personal opinion I would be taking no more than 0.5mg (1/2 mg) from now on.

 

If reinstatement is successful, you can hold for a few months on that dose and then do a slow taper off.

 

Please ensure that you keep notes because this will help us to assess if reinstatement is working.

 

It's also helpful to learning Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.  Also Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System.

 

For many years before I ever started taking an antidepressant I did suffer from bouts of depression.  Whilst I've been on the ADs I have still suffered from times of depression but also felt very numb emotionally.  Even now, with my dose getting lower, I am still having times of depression and because I got depressed before I ever started the drug I think I probably always will but I have decided that I would prefer to be free of the drug, not have my brain numbed and experience the side effects of the drug, and suffer from the depression naturally and use non drug coping techniques to help me get through it.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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