Eleven10: 30 months off Prozac

[coldturkmama]

39 minutes ago, Eleven10 said:

Thank you.

I feel I'm at a point where I can go no further in natural healing.I could wait another 3 years and be in exactly the same place. Living In a sleep deprived severely depressed state is no life to live for 4 years 

I will try 5mg again. ❤️

 

Good luck, I wish you the best!

[powerback]

43 minutes ago, Eleven10 said:

Thank you.

I feel I'm at a point where I can go no further in natural healing.I could wait another 3 years and be in exactly the same place. Living In a sleep deprived severely depressed state is no life to live for 4 years 

I will try 5mg again. ❤️

hi eleven I'm in the same club, cold turkey /protracted withdrawal or even Tolerance withdrawal ,I'm on a micro taper and my symptoms are unbearable .

I'm trying to treat the depression as its own condition rather than waiting for withdrawal to end .

I had an extreme episode while out walking yesterday ,I had an impulse to do something that scared me ,but I called on my tools and dug deep and it passed soon and the depression lifted somewhat in an hour .

we really are living extraordinary experiences ,I'm really emotional today and I'm try to let it release and flow and have a cry and not judge it ,this is all progress for me because a couple of years ago in therapy I couldn't  access these emotions [medicated] .we have to unlearn years of behaviour that keeps us in a certain mind-set .

we deserve peace of mind

PB

[Eleven10]

I wonder how people cope financially in withdrawal? And with depression??

the benefit system in Britain is extremely complicated and difficult to access most applications are turned down.

what are people's experience?

[coldturkmama]

23 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

I wonder how people cope financially in withdrawal? And with depression??

the benefit system in Britain is extremely complicated and difficult to access most applications are turned down.

what are people's experience?

I can't imagine

ive wondered the same.

ive been lucky to be able to work but I set my own hours so the flexibility helps me.

[coldturkmama]

2 hours ago, Pil54 said:

 

Coldturneymama what symptomd have you ? 

Am 39 month off cold turkeyed and never healed neither completly disabled unable to have a job the fatigur and insomnia are just inhuman.

 

Whats your symptoms and when did you went back to work ? 

 

I am on disability i receive money but at that point after 4 year off useless suffering there is no quality of life. Just daily regret to have trusted unkown bullsh*t people on forum saying everyone heal in 2 year and waited stupidly instead of listening my body saying to me cold turkey wasnt the way to go at all 

 

I have a list of symptoms- I'll try to remember them all:

 

insomnia

overactive bladder (seriously it's ridiculous!!) it often mimics a bladder infection.

brain zaps 

head pressure

low stress tolerance

anxiety

sore body, muscle aches

inflammation/ skin issues

stomach probs

brain noises (snapping and cracking)

 

 

other stuff I'm sure lol I just can't think of them all.

 

ive managed to work but it's my own set hours and not the same as if I had to be in a work environment for 40 hours a week. I do work a lot (cleaning and photography) but I'm in pain a lot while I do. 

I have read many people who cold turkey heal much slower, but they DO heal.

[Eleven10]

i can relate to all those symptoms. 

I would love to be able to work from home. I'm really struggling at the moment I know I'm not capable of working but I keep slogging on, I'm not sure if it helps or makes things worse but I have no choice and I know the stress of unemployment would make me worse. I have struggled claiming any state benefits as I can walk more than 100 metres! If only they knew!!!

at this point I feel I need something to stabilise my nervous system. Everytime I nap I still get the feeling my brain is fighting with its self, I still get the horrible chemical toxic feeling almost 4 years off. Right now I would take any drug available if i could guarantee I would feel healthy again, life is for living not existing.

 

 

[Eleven10]

I'm really struggling to get back on Prozac. I feel very agitated when I get to a higher dose.

my neck is still very stiff and I feel constantly dizzy and off balance like my eyes cannot track anything I look at. I try so hard to get out but I'm so sleep deprived nothing is enjoyable and my legs are like jelly wherever I walk. 

I don't think this is the drugs tho Iv had this for 3 years. 

I'm becoming more and more depressed thinking I will be like this forever. 

Im reliant on my family for everything it's so sad. 

[coldturkmama]

2 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

I'm really struggling to get back on Prozac. I feel very agitated when I get to a higher dose.

my neck is still very stiff and I feel constantly dizzy and off balance like my eyes cannot track anything I look at. I try so hard to get out but I'm so sleep deprived nothing is enjoyable and my legs are like jelly wherever I walk. 

I don't think this is the drugs tho Iv had this for 3 years. 

I'm becoming more and more depressed thinking I will be like this forever. 

Im reliant on my family for everything it's so sad. 

 

You may have reached tolerance before the cold turkey? If you've had all that for three years that is. 

I can't see signatures on my phone so I might be way off.

im sorry you are struggling so much. I understand. It sucks!

tonight my back is killing me just like it used to in the beginning of WD. 

[Eleven10]

I don't know if to try a little diazapam to settle me whilst I get on it. 

[Eleven10]

How long have you been off CTM? It's been nearly 4 years for me and nothing has changed 

[coldturkmama]

1 hour ago, Eleven10 said:

How long have you been off CTM? It's been nearly 4 years for me and nothing has changed 

 

4 years October 16th

[Eleven10]

Thank you FSL that's very kind.

 

i would love to feel as good as I did on Prozac naturally but I genuinely feel it's not going to happen, I had the feeling if I just put enough time between me and the drugs I would be ok but after almost 4 years I'm not significantly any better than I was at 1 year. 

My problem is I honestly don't know if my body will accept Prozac again, I'm trying but I'm struggling as I can't stand to feel worse than I do already. 

I had to take a benzo when I first went on Prozac and I'm tempted to try that again but I don't want to as they are pretty awful too. 

I have liquid Prozac does that make a difference? 

[TryingToHoldOn]

My heart goes out to you.  I understand your fears about starting up an AD and not being able to go on a minute longer in your current state.  I did not have good luck reinstating, but my story is different than yours.

 

I'd be inclined to start with a very small dose (.5mg) and monitor for a couple of days.  If it doesn't work then you can just stop.  

 

I hope whatever you decide, you find some relief.  Fours years is a long time.  Wish you all the best.

[Eleven10]

It does make sense what your saying. I read a story on dr Healy's risk website about a lady in who suffered in a simmialr way to me and she didn't get relief until she hit 30mg but she was only 3 months off and I'm nearly 4 years. 

Im desperate for relief but terrified of having the same reaction I did to sertraline which I took at 50mg. 

Prozac made me jittery as hell when I took it the first time it's scares me to think how a normal dose would effect me now but I'm willing to try 7mg. I took a benzo periodically for all the time I was on Prozac I do wonder if that had contributed to my difficult withdrawal 

[coldturkmama]

53 minutes ago, Eleven10 said:

It does make sense what your saying. I read a story on dr Healy's risk website about a lady in who suffered in a simmialr way to me and she didn't get relief until she hit 30mg but she was only 3 months off and I'm nearly 4 years. 

Im desperate for relief but terrified of having the same reaction I did to sertraline which I took at 50mg. 

Prozac made me jittery as hell when I took it the first time it's scares me to think how a normal dose would effect me now but I'm willing to try 7mg. I took a benzo periodically for all the time I was on Prozac I do wonder if that had contributed to my difficult withdrawal 

I never touched a benzo, and WD hasn't been easy, but I do think I've made progress. Cold turkey sucks...if only I'd known. 

[Eleven10]

I'm so confused I don't even know what tolerance withdrawal is. 

 

All i know I feel horrific and Iv felt like that everyday for 4 years. I pray I'll die of some disease, I'm agitated all the time, the simplest tasks are overwhelming, dressing, eating, washing all feel impossible. I'm dizzy all the time, my neck is frozen solid and the pain is horrific. I can't carry on like this, I don't want to live in this way anymore. My parents do everything for me it's pathetic 

[Eleven10]

Today has been the worst day in 3 years. I was so desperately depressed all night feeling like my brain was cooking. I woke at 3 as usual then drifted into a horrible cortisol fuelled sleep at 7 that made me feel I was on the edge of massive panic. How can this still be happening nearly 4 years on.

I have no coordination I'm clumsy bumping into things, completely unable to dress or wash all day it was totally beyond me. Rang in sick again, my head feels like it's in a vice. i don't understand why I feel so unwell. 

I want Prozac to work for me but I think I'm screwed for life. If I can't recover in 4 years what hope do I have. 

[Eleven10]

Iv just nipped to the shops and bought new jeans. Why the hell do I perk up at 7.00pm when I'm crippled to the point on not being able to make a cup of tea all day. Sorry to moan 

[KT38]

Was this because you started P again?

[Eleven10]

Hi KT

i don't think so, I was exactly the same before. 

 

[ChessieCat]

Eleven, was your CT on 14th Feb this year, or Feb 2014.  Please clarify the date in your signature.  Also, please update your signature so it includes the changes you have made since this Feb date, this way we can see your history each time you post.  Thank you.  Edit a signature

[Eleven10]

Pil. Will try to go to 10 the fear of making things worse is crippling

 

chesire.c Feb 14. Thanks 

[AliG]

Hi Eleven. Please stay as you are for now. We can talk about a possible increase but updosing that much, so quickly could definitely be problematic at this time. What are your current symptoms?

[ChessieCat]

Hi Eleven,

 

Thank you for adding the year to your signature.  Could you please add the dose of Prozac you reinstated?  Thanks.

[Eleven10]

Thanks Ali.

I have an upset stomach, very tight chest and palpitations, waking at 4am

im very clumsy all day find it impossible to be motivated to do the simplest tasks then come awake around 7pm and feel a little relief think I will maybe go back to my pt job tomorrow then get slammed back in the morning. 

i have had a lot of personal stress as well so I don't doubt that this is a constributinh factor, plus I feel very struck hard by how long this has gone on. I have been waiting for relief for so long. 

thank you 

[joy2730]

Hoping this works for you.  

[AliG]

Eleven. I understand and I empathize as I have also been there. What exact dose are you on now and how long have you been on it? Can you please update your signature? This will make it easier to offer advice and suggestions as we move forward. 

 

Personal stress can be huge and can really wipe you out. It often seems to be the other " activating factor " during all this and one that we don't usually acknowledge but it plays a large part during withdrawal and can't really be fully ignored. We have to learn how to deal with it so as to get ourselves off the drugs and then stay off them once we learn the skills of remaining calm and free of anxiety as much as we possibly can.

 

Unfortunately , stress is a fact of life and we have to deal with it incessantly. 

 

It pays to read around and learn what tools to put in your tool box so as to be somewhat immune to stress and anxiety without the drugs.

This is one of my favorite links :

Guided Meditations, Calming Videos, Sleep Hypnosis

Also : legs up the wall.

 

[Eleven10]

Thank you Ali that is really comforting. 

 

The financial stress of withdrawal and the effect it has on relationships is huge. 

 

Thank you you for the link and I will update my sig 

 

 

[Eleven10]

Do you think I Should stay on 3mg or move up. Iv not been taking it everyday because I get so terrified of reactions and getting worse my mum has to talk me into it everyday, it must be exhausting for her . I know that's not sensible.

my therapist has written to my gp suggesting a stay in hospital to stabilise on the drug but I don't think they will allow me to go slow so I'm adamantly against it. 

In very early acute withdrawal from Prozac my neck and shoulders froze solid and now almost 4 years later my neck is still incredibly stiff and painful, getting in and out of a car is extremely painful and washing my hair is an impossibility. I'v suffered so much because of this drug and maybe some kind of serotogenic vulnerability which kinda explains the extreme fear I have mixed with extreme desperation for some kind of health 

[MollyN]

Hi eleven10, I read your entire journal yesterday. I'm so blimmin sorry you're suffering so badly. Weren't these marketed and referred to as 'the happy pills' back in the day! Sure maybe if you're on them, but not when you try and stop!

 

I understand somewhat your dilemma re-reinstatement, it feels almost impossible to know whether to updose, stay put, reduce. 

 

Three awesome things I wanted to applaud you for: 1. parenting through all this! (even if you feel like you're not as good as it as you'd like to be, it's still a ton of physical and emotional work, 2. holding down a parttime job!!! (I lost mine), 3. maintaining a caring relationship with your parents. That's all brilliant stuff that you've managed to maintain, even if you don't' feel it or feel you could do so much better. To me, it sounds as though your whole mind tells you just to curl up in the corner and rock, yet you don't and keep getting up and carrying on despite the hardship. I'm really inspired, and oh how I hope your whole experience improves for you very very soon xxxmollyn

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, Eleven10 said:

Do you think I Should stay on 3mg or move up. Iv not been taking it everyday because I get so terrified of reactions and getting worse

 

Even though Prozac has a longer half life than many ADs it is better to take the same dose at about the same time on a daily basis.

 

My suggestion would be to take 1.5mg every day.  See Skipping Days vs Every Day Dosing Graph

[Eleven10]

Thank you Mollyn

thaats really made me smile. 

 

Thanks Cheshire, it makes sense that stick to a consistent dose 

 

[AliG]

2 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

Iv not been taking it everyday because I get so terrified of reactions

 

it is much better to stick with the same dose each day. The brain loves consistency.

[Eleven10]

Molly I wanted to say I'm sorry you lost your job, I was off sick for almost a year and then went back just a few hrs a week, It was difficult, impossible at times but Waa given a lot of support. There are days I am not capable of anything but my boss is friends with my dad and knows the terrible things that have happened to me or I would be in no doubt unemployed and unemployable. 

It's so tough.

 

i will take the Prozac everyday. Thank you for the support 

[ChessieCat]

6 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

i will take the Prozac everyday. Thank you for the support 

 

That's good and you are welcome.  Please remember to update your signature to show alternate 3mg and 1.5mg daily.  Thanks.

[Eleven10]

Hi 

 

I'm really thinking of knocking the Prozac on it head. I don't feel any different I still feel as bad as I have for 4 years.

my muscles hurt so much, just holding the phone to my ear for a short while makes my shoulders scream, I struggle to even stand long enough to make a cup of tea somedays, my legs feel like jelly. I force myself to walk around the estate at night when I used to get a bit of energy, as as a ex anorexic I'm always terrified of not burning calories, despite being a healthy weight. I had to be picked up by my parents because I litrerally felt I couldn't walk one more step. 

I know the stress of worrying about this going on so long is making it worse but i feel so hopeless. 

I have an appointment at the me clinic but I almost don't want a diagnosis as it will hang over me. I also have a major problem talking about my problems to people. I can go to the Drs in such a state but when I get in I'm unable to talk