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☼ Dwell: Paxil withdrawals and trying to taper


Dwell

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If/when that window opens I'm proping it up and everyone is invited!!!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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No ifs , strengthen your positive thinking .. It can only help .. I know easier said than done but we must try to meet recovery half way .

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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You're right WHEN. Trying to stay as positive as possible!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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  • 4 months later...

Hey all it's been quite a while since I've been here. I am still very much in the bad part of withdrawl at about 14 months out. Had a couple good days where I could see the light at the end of the tunnel then back into wave mode. I'm hoping this year brings a lot of healing and good things! Hope everyone is chugging along!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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  • 9 months later...

Hi everyone it’s been about 9 months since I’ve been on here and a lot has changed! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I am nowhere near 100% but I also feel like I am light years from where I was the last time I logged on here. My sleep is better, my appetite is back and I do not feel 100% hopeless 100% of the time anymore. I still have the akathesia, SI, blurred vision, constant fight or flight, overall anxiety (this is the short list) but it’s getting better! It was so much worse and I still have a lot of healing to do but healing does happen. It gets better I promise!!  I am 2 months away from my 2 year mark since cold turkey, it takes a long time but there is hope!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
7 minutes ago, Dwell said:

Hi everyone it’s been about 9 months since I’ve been on here and a lot has changed! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I am nowhere near 100% but I also feel like I am light years from where I was the last time I logged on here. My sleep is better, my appetite is back and I do not feel 100% hopeless 100% of the time anymore. I still have the akathesia, SI, blurred vision, constant fight or flight, overall anxiety (this is the short list) but it’s getting better! It was so much worse and I still have a lot of healing to do but healing does happen. It gets better I promise!!  I am 2 months away from my 2 year mark since cold turkey, it takes a long time but there is hope!

 

Hi Dwell, 

 

That’s wonderful you can see some improvements. Yes, it certainly does give you hope. 

 

You will eventually totally heal, it takes time though, doesn’t it? Thanks for sharing your improvements, it’s certainly encouraging for everyone on here. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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6 minutes ago, Carmie said:

 

Hi Dwell, 

 

That’s wonderful you can see some improvements. Yes, it certainly does give you hope. 

 

You will eventually totally heal, it takes time though, doesn’t it? Thanks for sharing your improvements, it’s certainly encouraging for everyone on here. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

Thank you Carmie!!! I don’t know your journey but I hope all is well!!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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Hey Dwell , Nice to hear from you .. Glad you're seeing the light .. I'm still the same although my symptoms change and morph every month . My mornings are horrible and I get hit again in the evening with everything but I do have moments throughout the day where everything lightens up somewhat .  I quit vaping my ecig and quit Prilosec too .. I know I wasn't supposed to but the "what if's " were killing me , so I quit them both .. I do think that set me back a lot , especially the nicotine wd .. Anyway, glad to hear from you .. Keep going ..

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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16 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

Hey Dwell , Nice to hear from you .. Glad you're seeing the light .. I'm still the same although my symptoms change and morph every month . My mornings are horrible and I get hit again in the evening with everything but I do have moments throughout the day where everything lightens up somewhat .  I quit vaping my ecig and quit Prilosec too .. I know I wasn't supposed to but the "what if's " were killing me , so I quit them both .. I do think that set me back a lot , especially the nicotine wd .. Anyway, glad to hear from you .. Keep going ..

Alice I’m so glad to hear from you! Keep holding tight!! It will all go away! It takes time, patience, and a sense of self but keep strong! Like I said I’m nowhere near 100% but looking back on the past 2 years I can see huge improvements!  I still have horrible moments everyday but I can’t wait to feel normal again and I hope the same for you!! How is your daughter? Believe the what if’s are the worst!! I think I’ve tried every snake oil and possible “remedy” through this process and I’ve come to learn time is the only thing that helps!!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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My daughter is great . She really is unaffected by this whole thing ..Thanks for asking . 

 

I totally understand how you feel .. My days are filled with ups and downs , lefts and rights , back and forth ..  Im also coming up on 2 years off .. A lot of symptoms have gone , only to be replaced with new ones , but I see that as a positive sign of healing .. Its just so slow its hard to recognize it .. 

 

I'll get used to a particular symptom , but then it will morph into something else and start the whole acceptance thing over again ..  My Akathisia is breaking up but I have these new nerve pain sensations in my head .. Feels like my head is ringing ..  Not all day though … a very distressing sensation . Then i'll finally get used to it then it will change ..lol   Cray

 

Hows you Baby doing ?

 

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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  • Administrator

Thanks for that positive update, Dwell.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 5 months later...

Hey everyone! Happy New Years!! Here’s to 2019 bring Ming everyone healing!!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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  • 2 months later...

Hey everyone hope all is well. Still in this wave and window roller coaster ride! I cannot wait until it is over but I hang on to the hope that it will be over one day! 

 

Current list of symptoms:

 

extreme anxiety/ panic attacks

chest pain

arm pain

feeling of impending doom

akathesia

Shortness of breath

dizziness

cant drive or work because of the level of anxiety I feel.

 

 this is just what I can think of right now, at 2.5 years out. Hoping for more healing soon.

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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Lets keep going Dwell . 2.5 years is still early days , but we've come too far to not get to the finish line . Stay positive and constantly work on calming the cns by reframing fearful thoughts and worries . Ultimately reducing stress in any way , shape ,or form is our job . The body will do the rest .

 

 

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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7 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

Lets keep going Dwell . 2.5 years is still early days , but we've come too far to not get to the finish line . Stay positive and constantly work on calming the cns by reframing fearful thoughts and worries . Ultimately reducing stress in any way , shape ,or form is our job . The body will do the rest .

 

 

I’m hanging in there and chugging along and always will!! How are you?

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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It's rough . No doubt about it .  I'm in a severe wave with everything hitting at once . Applying the mental work involved to overcoming this is a lot like "tug-o-war" .. It has to be done though . I'm coming up on 31 months .. Still way way early but I believe healing depends on your ability to contain the fear about how you feel. So, day after day I concentrate on that .. Am I successful ?  Not always , but like I said , it's a "tug-o-war" ..I had a better day yesterday , so that's evidence that my body can get there , so I will try to minimize the fear about how I feel as much as possible , plus reducing other stressors ...

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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4 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

It's rough . No doubt about it .  I'm in a severe wave with everything hitting at once . Applying the mental work involved to overcoming this is a lot like "tug-o-war" .. It has to be done though . I'm coming up on 31 months .. Still way way early but I believe healing depends on your ability to contain the fear about how you feel. So, day after day I concentrate on that .. Am I successful ?  Not always , but like I said , it's a "tug-o-war" ..I had a better day yesterday , so that's evidence that my body can get there , so I will try to minimize the fear about how I feel as much as possible , plus reducing other stressors ...

I think mine and your journey is only about a month off so it will be nice to see the healing! I hope your wave subsides soon!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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3 hours ago, Dwell said:

I think mine and your journey is only about a month off so it will be nice to see the healing! I hope your wave subsides soon!

It will , and I look forward to your positive update coming soon ..

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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8 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

It will , and I look forward to your positive update coming soon ..

I have a question. Do you feel like your withdrawal is apparent to everyone in your life? I just wonder how much of this is apparent to the people in our lives. I don’t talk about it with anyone really other than my therapist and the only things that anyone really sees is that I don’t work or drive anymore. I keep most of this process to myself and on here because it’s not easily explainable even though it’s really all I think about.

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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3 hours ago, Dwell said:

Do you feel like your withdrawal is apparent to everyone in your life?

My whole family , and all my friends know I'm in pain .. My father is the only one that believes in WD , but even he thinks its all thought driven . The biggest frustration is that I have told each and everyone of them that it is absolutely critical that I reduce stress and help myself recover , but none of them understand any of this , and continue to display behaviors that go against the grain .. I don't blame them because they are not in this mess . My best friend understands a little , but since I run his pawn shop everyday he can't see the level of pain I'm going through because It doesn't show . So , the answer to your question is a big yes , but since I'm literally forcing myself to live a normal life, everybody thinks its a tolerable ordeal ( like a headache ) .. Sometimes I wish they could see me at 7 am when my Akathisia is in full force and I can't stop shaking , or when I'm in the shower at 7:30 with crippling depression and fear, promising myself that I wont give up for just one more day . Sometimes I tell myself that I really must be a tough guy because nobody in my circle of friends and family would continue to ride this nightmare . NOBODY !!! 

 

So , I think you're doing fine .. Just keep walking with me .Ok?

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

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  • 1 month later...

I’ve had a lot of very VERY crappy days lately, and finally today was a very good day. Those few and FAR between days remind me why I’m on this journey at all.

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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  • 2 years later...

Well hi guys! It’s been a long time for me. This website was a saving grace for me in the beginning of this ride. I don’t know if I will ever know if I am completely healed or if this is just my new normal but life seems to get better and better. I still feel a little lost as not a lot brings me pure joy but that seems to be a personal journey I am on. I have my good days, and my bad days, but the bad are not like they used to be. I want to be here and I want to chug along and continue to get better. Life is not miserable anymore. There is hope, and there is healing…. I was a hermit for so long. I can go back out into the world now. I still do not drive and traveling is a trigger for me, but I can now be alone without complete panic. It does get better, just keep holding on!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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Hello. You are so brave! 
Thanks for your inspiring story. We are all in our journey and even though it’s very hard sometimes, life is worth living. And the world needs us!

 

Send you tons of good vibes! 

2017 - 2019 Ketazolam (Benzo) and Pregabalin.

2019 Trazadon (for 2 months)

2019 Klonazepam (for a week)

2019 Stoped Trazadon, Started Escitalopram 20 mg.

2019 - 2021 Escitalopram (20 mg for a year and a half, then, I tapered the dosage by 1/8 each month) off by Dec. 2021

Tried: Magnesium + B6, Omega 3, St John’s Wort, Valerian root

Currently taking: Nucleo Forte (supplement for nerves)

B complex vitamins.

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  • Moderator

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Please see this topic:  How to write your success story

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • 7 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello @Dwell

How are you doing these days ?

Thank you for your inspiring story !

2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam.

2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg.

2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg).

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. 

April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details topic/21457

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil

Current medication :

* 7pm Diazepam  : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

* 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21)

 

I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • 10 months later...
On 3/27/2022 at 4:48 PM, Frogie said:

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Please see this topic:  How to write your success story

Thank you so much for giving me my sun… I hoped and dreamed that one day it would be next to my name! I will be sitting down to right my recovery story in the next few days!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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On 11/6/2022 at 1:57 PM, Erell said:

Hello @Dwell

How are you doing these days ?

Thank you for your inspiring story !

Erell, 

I am so sorry I haven’t been on to reply to you. Life over here is pretty amazing. Healing has been such a journey for me, but I feel like I’m finally there! Healing happens and it is not easy to come to but it is so worth it!

Paxil 20mg started around 2013 dropped to 10 mg at some point dropped to 5mg for 1 week then C/T August 2016.

 

Buspar 10 mg 2x daily started 2013 fluctuating amounts.

 

Tried cylexa 1 week at beginning of August 2016.

Tried wellbutrin 1 week after cylexa stopped both.

 

I have been off all meds for around 4- 5 years.

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