☼ Caring69: off Lexapro for 7 months

[Caring69]

In lexapro withdrawal for 7 months.

 

Having high anxiety and negative thoughts and ruminations

 

Never had this before coming off of lexapro. I want to be me again. I got on lexapro because when I would get angry with my kids when they were small my head felt like it would blow off. Got advice from some people that told me it was a chemical imbalance and that Paxil would help so I went and asked my dr for it.

 

Took it for 4 or 5 years and then thought maybe it was the reason I was so sleepy all the time. Dr switched me to lexapro.

 

Was feeling horrible a lot and went to the Dr on and off through the years but nothing was ever found so I just pushed through. In 2015 I started noticing I was feeling a lot worse and all the time and it was hard to do things and then I started acting different and reacting to people differently.

 

I was 46 and thought it was the change and it was causing me to act that way. I got off lexapro to see if that would help but it evidently sent me into withdrawal.

Edited October 26, 2016 by scallywag
add white space + tags

[PatriciaVP]

Hi Caring,

Welcome to SA!

Yeah, Lexapro's some pretty awful stuff. I've been tapering for over a year and am still far from off. You can read more about the why's and wherefores in my intro (see below), but believe me, I feel your pain.

 

A moderator will be along shortly with loads more help than I can give. Just wanted to let you know that you are so not alone.

[Caring69]

I've had a good life. Raised 4 beautiful children. my girl is a sophomore in high school and I have 3 boys. One got married a year ago and so I now have a special daughter in law. 2 other boys are in college.

 

I've never felt this way in my life. I'm a stay at home Mom and was taking care of a friend granddaughter that has Down syndrome but had to quit keeping her. Now my days are just trying to get by.

 

I have such high anxiety. I've never had problems with anxiety or depression. I had social anxiety pretty bad in high school but got through it.

 

Didn't know anything about mental illness until now. Went on mess because I wanted my kids to have a good life and not get too angry with them. I was so stupid about these meds. Just thought they calmed you down a little. The bad thing is that I was feeling bad for years and didn't even think it could've been the lexapro. I didn't even know about tapering.

 

My brother in law suggested to my sister that my high anxiety and sickness that sent me to the Er and the dr offices for 3 months was from getting off the meds. I was in no shape to do research so she did. It sounded like that was the problem. No doctor even suggested it was from that. Now I'm reading all kinds of things and it's really scary. I don't even think the way I used to.

 

I am a Christian and believe that God is with me but my mind is telling me that He isn't because I don't have enough faith. My mind is telling me that I'm not capable of doing anything. I push myself to go to my daughters volleyball games and cross country meets and try to act normal in front of people but it's so hard.

 

I have a hard time finding things to do to keep my mind busy. The first 5 months I couldn't do anything. I'm writing this now but don't feel like I can and I try to play games but it's hard. It just seems like I went crazy and won't ever be ok.

Edited October 26, 2016 by scallywag
added white space/paragraph breaks

[scallywag]

Caring69 -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)
 
I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-18 months particularly?

• Any drugs prior to that can just be listed with start and stop years.
• You don't need to include symptoms or diagnoses other than the initial condition that led to prescribing the first drug.
• We ask for this information in your signature so that we can see it at a glance. A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
• You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature

 

It's good that you (now) know that what you're going through is the result of stopping Lexapro. It can be helpful to keep notes of your symptoms. Here are some posts/topics that discuss withdrawal and note taking:

Take notes of doses and symptoms
What is withdrawal syndrome
Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list

 

Some people find that their symptoms ease after reinstating "hair of the dog that bit 'em." In other words, they reinstate a very small dose of either the medication they discontinued or another one. If you are interested in that, please do not reinstate lexapro just yet, in any amount. The appropriate test dose is much smaller than you or most doctors would consider and it may make sense to consider using a different medication such as Prozac. You can read about reinstatement - what it is, its benefits and risks here:
About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

This may or may not be relevant. I'll post it just in case we refer to it later:
Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

This is YOUR introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.

Please let us know how you are doing and what information you need.

[Happy2Heal]

hi Caring69

 

just stopping by as a fellow traveler of going off of Lexapro

 

what you are going thru is, sadly, not uncommon but you can get thru it and heal.

 

none of us knew how dangerous these meds could be, and many drs still do not know and give bad advice about getting off of them.

 

you are not alone and you can, we can, get thru this

 

many have been thru it and come out the other side ok

[PatriciaVP]

Hi Caring, just stopped by to see how things were going.

 

"I was so stupid about these meds. Just thought they calmed you down a little. The bad thing is that I was feeling bad for years and didn't even think it could've been the lexapro. I didn't even know about tapering."

 

You weren't stupid. You were misled just like the rest of us. Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault.

 

Healing happens. Things will get better. Just know you are not alone.

[Jill28]

Caring69- can you please advise as to how you are doing now? I am in same boat and my anxiety is unbearable/debilitating 😢

[Caring69]

I was on Lexapro for about 18 years before I came off too fast. You will most likely heal faster but none of us know. It’s been nearly 2 1/2 years since I came off. I had so many physical and mental problems the first year. Physically I’m so much better, even better than the 18 years I was on the medication! I took it because I mistakenly believed the lie we are told about being chemically imbalanced. I thought I was getting too angry because I felt like my head was going to come off when I got upset and I thought I would eventually be too angry with my kids when they were small! I didn’t know that the medication changed your body and your mind while taking it. I felt so bad the whole time but never even thought it could that could be the reason. The drs never suggested it either. They just said they couldn’t find anything wrong. I think it was the end of 2014,My memory isn’t the greatest, my dr told me my health was probably anxiety and upped my Lexapro from 10mg to 20 mg. I started feeling so much worse and thinking differently. I even lost a friend because I was being too obsessive! I was pushing my husband away and having weird thoughts. I wanted to cry every morning because I felt so bad physically. I had pain where my ovaries are so I thought something was wrong there too! I had so many headaches. I thought I was just lazy so I pushed myself day after day! I finally thought maybe I was going through the change so maybe the Lexapro was causing things to be worse so I came off of it wrong. I wasn’t told th dangers. I wasn’t even told about side effects! About a week afer I came off, I felt like something was in the top part of my stomach. I felt anxiety. I had never actually had anxiety so I didn’t know what it was. I thought something was very wrong with me and went to see my dr. They did tests on my stomach and couldn’t find anything but h- pylori. They felt confident that that was the problem. By that time I had been pacing uncontrollably and had loss of appetite for 3 months straight. I went to the emergency room multiple times and they would give me benzos to try to calm me down. It only made things worse. I got to where I was so scared to take any medication. I finally was so desperate for help, I went to my moms dr. He told me I was acting manic and to go see the psych on call at the ER. I was so messed up. The psych dr told me I had serotonin toxicity. He wanted to give me another benzo but I refused out of fear. He said that he could also give me a antihistamine called cyproheptadine. I was so scared of that even that he gave me a fourth of a dose. It actually started calming my legs. I took it for 3 months because I was too scared the pacing and loss of appetite would return. I finally got the courage to wean off of it. I also got my appetite back. The next year was so horrific. So many physical and mental issues. With God and time I am healing day by day. I have the waves and windows thing where sometimes I’m really bad mentally and sometimes I’m better. Depression and anxiety are my main problems now. I still feel like I have something in the top part of my stomach. I make myself try to live normally. At first I couldn’t even take sights or sounds and it even hurt to think. I’m so much better. It is so hard fighting my mind mostly. The withdrawal effected my mind, body and soul. I’ve always been a Christian but my mind makes me question everything I thought I knew about everything. My heart still knows the truth. It is a battle but God and time are healing me. I have the motto fake it til you make it! My sister told me about that! Some days it’s hard but my life is so much better than it was! I hope I haven’t scared you because everyone is different and since you weren’t on it as long then your withdrawal will probably end sooner and you won’t have as many symptoms. There is definitely hope and healing does come! I know I’ve said this but God and time are what heals. I do try to exercise and eat better. The first year that was nearly impossible but I’m doing better now. I will pray for you like I do for everyone that’s going through this nightmare! 

[Caring69]

Withdrawal progress

 

My mind is still trying to recover but I wanted to give hope to people who are in the first nightmarish stages of withdrawal. I came off escitalopram(generic Lexapro) way too fast. I wasn’t told of the dangers. It was 3 years ago in March 2016. I had been on this antidepressant for about 15 years or so but I have no memory what year I started somewhere between 1998 and 2001. I had been feeling bad and off for years and didn’t know these meds could cause it. I was put on it because I thought I was getting angry too easily and didn’t want my kids to have to deal with that. I felt like my head would blow off when I got angry and thought that wasn’t normal. My sister was put on Paxil for her anger because the dr told her she had a chemical imbalance so when I told her about me she told me what she was taking. I went to the dr and he without very many questions I was put on Paxil. It made me sleepy so after a few years I went back and asked for another kind that wouldn’t make me sleepy. He was so excited to tell me about Lexapro. I was the safest drug around with little to no side affects. I was feeling so fatigued and horrible all the time but didn’t know why. I kept going to the dr and the test would show I was healthy. My dr finally said that maybe I had anxiety and she upped my medication from 10mg to 20 mg. I started getting steadily worse having no idea it could be the meds. I would cry and push myself to get up in the morning. My mind would think weird thoughts and I was becoming almost obsessive towards a friend. I couldn’t watch a movie all the way through without having to get up and move around. I was of the age that I thought I was going through the change and thought maybe getting off the meds would help but didn’t know I had to taper so I went from 20 mg to 10 for about 2 weeks and was feeling better, I thought, so I went from 10 to 5 for a week then just quit. A few days or a week later, I woke up feeling like everything had been pulled out of me. I also felt like I had something in the top of my stomach. I went to the dr and they had no idea what was wrong. I told her that I had stopped taking the antidepressant and told her how I did it and she said that was fine. I kept getting worse and worse. Every time I went to the ER they would give me something to calm me down which made me feel worse. I had lost my appetite and  I started pacing and my mind would race and couldn’t stop for 3 months. I had been sent to a gastro dr because of the feeling in my stomach and did tests and found out I had h- pylori. I had to take 10 days of 3 different antibiotics and it was pure torture. My husband had to make me eat like I was a child and I had fear and panic and didn’t know what was going on.The dr had given me celexa and told me to wait 2 weeks for it to help. I felt I was getting worse so  I finally went to my moms dr to see if he could figure it out. He saw me and said I was in a manic state but he didnt know why. I didn’t even know what a panic attack was before this but it was like I was having a non stop panic attack 24 hours a day for 3 months. He told me to go to the ER to see the psych dr on call because he could get me in the see one. I had never felt so bad in all my life. My mind was so messed up. It hurt to think, to see, and to hear. I couldnt calm my body or my brain. It was such a horrific state. The psych dr told me I had serotonin toxicity. I didn’t believe him. I had such fear of everything. He wanted me to take a benzo. I was so scared it would make me worse because of the ones they gave me every time I went to the ER. He convinced me to take an antihistamine called cyproheptadine. I would only take 1/4 of what was normally taken. It took about and hour but my legs started calming down, not all the way but a little. He sent some home with me and the next few days I could sit still some. My whole body was sore. It didn’t help my mind. I thought I would never be okay. I had so many symptoms. It’s been 3 years and my physical symptoms are gone, except I still feel the thing in my stomach but not as bad. I still have anxiety and depression that I have never had before taking the antidepressant but it is gradually getting better. I was in such a torturous state for almost 1 1/2 years before it started getting better. It’s like they say, waves and windows. 1 step forward 3 steps back. I don’t know how long till I’m back to normal but I’m so thankful I’m not in that horrible state. This has affected my mind, body and spirit. I just wanted to give people hope that you won’t stay in the horrific state. It will get better and better. 

 

Edited May 29, 2019 by ChessieCat
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[Leo1983]

Very good of you to post such positive feedback

[AlexRussia]

Thank you very much for your feedback. I hope you will be healed completely eventually

[Caring69]

I didn’t believe I would get better when I started going through this nightmare.  I found out it is true what they say about waves and windows. It will get better with time

[Caring69]

I just wanted to come back to say that after 4 years and 5 months, I’m so much better! I don’t have physical symptoms anymore. I still have a few mental problems but I’m living my life and pushing through. I wanted to let the suffering know that there is hope! When I was going through the first couple of years of this nightmare. I searched and searched fir people that had improved. It helped give me hope. You will heal with time. I remember when I believed no one when they said this. It is true. I remember one person on here had said even though he didn’t do things right and didn’t know what to do to or what he needed to fix it he still healed with time. I remember I wanted specific answers as to what to do to help me heal. I thought I was to stupid to do the right things but his words help me realize that there is no certain thing you have to go by. Just do your best to try to get some exercise when you can and try to eat healthy but even if you don’t. Time will heal.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Caring,

 

Thank you so much for coming back and updating us on how you are doing.

 

It is great to hear that you are much better.

 

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Edited September 1, 2020 by ChessieCat

[ChessieCat]

Went on Paxil in 2001 for anger issues. Making me sleepy so was put

On lexapro 10mg in 2005

Upped to 20mg. Don't remember when

Decided to go off in march 2016

Went to 10 mg for 2 weeks then 5 for a week then got off

Was given lorazepam by er dr only took it 3 times

Was given clonazapam and took it 5 times

Went back on lexapro for 2 weeks but still felt bad so quit

The dr gave me celexa for a week and was diagnosed with seratonin toxity and was put on

Cyproheptadine 4mg 2 times a day took it for 2 months now on nothing

 

 

Are you able to add the dates or at least the year for your drugs?

 

If you are completely drug free now, please add this to your drug signature too at the bottom so member members can see it easily: 

Completely drug free since (and the date)

 

Thank you.

 

This link goes to your signature, remember to save:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

 

[Cigale]

12 hours ago, Caring69 said:

Just do your best to try to get some exercise when you can and try to eat healthy but even if you don’t. Time will heal.

 

Thank you so much @Caring69 for taking the time to post an update on your progress. I have just begun my journey with Lexapro and really needed your hopeful post today. Thank you!

[andy96gr]

Hello @Caring69how are you doing now?🙂

[Caring69]

I am doing so much better! Physically I’m good but mentally, I still have to deal with high anxiety I never had before all of this. I’m so much better than those first few years. I’m living life! Fighting my mind a lot but thankful! God and time are healing me! Hope you are okay!