TheWayfarer: Zoloft Side Effect + Emotionless

[TheWayfarer]

I understand.. its just hard to distract myself when i cant feel emotion.. anyway i apriciate the advice and will take it to heart. Allso i have been told fasting will help me pherhaps speed up my cns recovery. Since then i have been fasting since 7 am. My goal is twelve hours. I already feel a little bit better but im startig to get alittle dizzy and my eyes arehaving trouble ajusting... should i continue to the twelve hours? Should i drink waterwhile i fast? Could this make my cns/pssd worse? Or bette? By the way thank you again for your helpful advice.

[Shep]

You're welcome, Wayfarer. We are all wishing you the best here on the forum.

 

Should i drink water while i fast? 

 

You really do need to drink water throughout the day. Getting dehydrated can cause many of the same symptoms as withdrawal.

 

You just had a major reaction to a drug just a couple of days ago, so I wouldn't advise fasting right now. These drugs can affect blood sugar, causing sudden drops which can cause symptoms such as weakness, fatigue, anxiety, etc. 

 

It's best to have small, healthy meals throughout the day, giving your mind and body the nourishment it needs to power you through this.  Limiting caffeine, sugar, and processed foods can help, too. 

 

Also, you're 17 and still growing, so please eat as well as you can. 

 

And keep us posted on how you're doing. 

 

Check out some of those guided meditations on the link I posted. It will help if you can relax and let go of those dark thoughts. 

 

And drink some water, too. 

[TheWayfarer]

Somce fating i feel a little better. Im feeling someemotion again like stress. But im not sure if this isbecause of evrrything i have been going throigh or the fasting(wiych i just stopped) but im feeling real slow and sluggish. My thoights are slow and my hand eye cordination is failing. My stomach still hurts along with the top of ky head directly under a mole thats on my scalp.(for some reason my head hurts there allot) i allos felt really sick when eating a chicken samwich. Soon after eating it i felt like throwing it back up. Now i feel a little sick. My shoulder started burning not that long ago along withbmy head. Now there really stiff...

 

My ocd has allso returned since fasting. Fasting definitly helped somthing. What exactly it did i dont know. Do you have any idea why fasting helped me?

[TheWayfarer]

My sholder blades are begining to get sore spacificly my right shoulder blade.

[Shep]

Eating too much or too quickly right after fasting could have made you sick to your stomach. 

 

Try small meals and eating slowly. 

 

And check out the mindfulness meditation link above and see if a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation helps with your anxious thoughts. It may even help with your pain symptoms. 

 

The OCD is something you had prior to your reaction to Zoloft, so this is something that you really need to work on conquering. 

 

[TheWayfarer]

I know... I jut cant get the bloody idea out of my head. The idea that i may never fully recover my sexual drive and emotions. Im sure this stress is a good sign it means for better or worse i have just gained back a sensation. That along with itchiness.

[TheWayfarer]

Is this really cnsrecivery or is it pssd? Is this somthing else that was trigured or has my brain as a defence mecinism?

[TheWayfarer]

Allso i really apriciate how fast you have been to respond to my messages. It really helps.

[TheWayfarer]

I felt brief relief after fasting but i am afraid it was short lived. I got a stress attack (my first stress attack in a long time) And an OCD attack (also my first OCD attack in a long time)... After i failed to gain control i decided to ride it out. Because of it my brain has reverted to its PSSDish state of no emotion no heart and depression.... I am very much afraid of th eposability that this may be long term i know you dont want me to focus on this and i shouldnt but i just cant control that thought. Because its a possibility... i just want my sexuality and emotions back. When they do come back again if they do ill need to handle my OCD better...

[TheWayfarer]

I wanted to start to do things when i felt that relief such as a marcial art i wanted to get better i wanted to put my best foot foward because i felt it was possible to get better. I know its only been a weak but i hear ll theese storeis that mirror mine in witch the person who experienced them said week became month no improvement exedra... I know i need to get back into life but its almost impossible without emotion. Even when i do feel some emotion its so short lived. God this is hard. Im so tempted to try meds again.

[TheWayfarer]

I feel i am stuck in a tornado of Terrror.

 

One one hand i have PSSD like symptoms from the SSRI that cause Loss in sexuality, Loss of emotion, Loss of good emotion, no feeling in my heart, elimination of physical stress and ADRENALINE, Nashua, no motivation, complete apathy and detachment.

 

Then i have OCD related stress. This usually kicks in once PSSD symptoms subside. When this kicks it takes me by storm taking over my head i tumble into a thought spiral that lasts around an hour then after it subsides after the head pain leaves all emotional recovery slip away and PSSD symptoms then consume me again. And whatever feeling i have left is swallowed by depression

 

PSSD/NO MOTIVATION/No sexuality/NO Emotion/LOSS of self---->Start to recover slightly----->Build up hope----->Try to fast----->Gain feeling------>Gain motivation to change------>Stress and OCD return------>Brain starts to hurt heart starts to beat rapidly i feel alive and annoyed at the same time----->brain locks---->Body aches---->OCD + Stress subside------->Emotions fade/ PSSD kicks in/ motivation leaves/ get fatigued/ lose whatever sexuality i had/ lose self-----> I feel afraid that i may never get the chance to beat my OCD and win back my emotions again and that this may repeat till i have permanent PSSD and no sexuality or self----->I wait for the chance

 

This is the cycle i am going through at the moment... I hope that if my CNS heals and i can eliminate the PSSD i may have a better chance at fighting my OCD and breaking the cycle but i almost feel hopeless. I just want my emotions back and i cant erase the thoughts of everyone who failed to do so because of how long lasting it is... And that those who did never fully recovered. I am confused and hopeless. Please if you have the time answer all the question i have asked above and i could really use help with breaking this cycle...

[TheWayfarer]

i just want to feel guilt again... And joy... And reasurance that PSSD is no longer a threat and that my CNS is good..

[Altostrata]

Fasting may not be a good idea. When your blood sugar drops, as it will when you fast, your adrenaline goes up. This can cause anxiety or panic attacks. Plus, you will get dizzy and faint and feel odd.

 

Please drink water throughout the day and eat lightly, at least. If your stomach is sensitive, stick to mild foods such as chicken, broth, rice, and cooked veggies. Don't eat anything with artificial seasoning and avoid dairy, this can can be hard for some people to digest.

[TheWayfarer]

I cant feel emotion or sexuality, when i do feel emotion it i just in my head not in my heart i feel like a 8 year old who is drunk on fun and antisipation who cant understand sympathy humiliation remorese regret and most of all guilt. An 8 year old who is scared of sex and finds no point in it. Im am terrified this will last forever. Or a long timeand that i may never reciver my sexualituy and that ill forget who i was and what it was like to be me.

[TheWayfarer]

i cant think or talk at all. I feel like my IQ has droped 100 points i cant even hold a conversation. is it getting worse? Id it were PSSD could it get worse? Could this be somthing else like a srouse brain condition? Should i get a head scan? I cant think at all yet i dont feel stress. Could i be stressed without adrenaline?

[scallywag]

All symptoms of withdrawal increase and decrease in intensity as your CNS (central nervous system) heals from the "bounce" Zoloft delivered. At some point you'll notice that you've improved and have been improving for several weeks.

 

It's most likely that your symptoms are withdrawal and not those of a serious brain condition.  If you'd like to put yourself at ease about this, you could have a CAT scan or MRI.  Several members here have done that and in each case only healthy brain tissue was found.

 

Sometimes it does feel as if we're thinking through molasses, making our thinking slow and laborious. This will lift with time.

 

What are you doing to distract yourself from your worries and symptoms?

[TheWayfarer]

i havnt been doing anything when my symptoms are the worst i dont feel any emotion witch makes life meaningless... And when i do feel emotion its messed up and doesn't make any sense.  I dont feel guilt when i should or joy when i should.

 

But here is somthing i found interesting, this may say sosmthing about what my brain is currently going through

 

(found this on quora)

Is there a direct link between serotonin levels and vivid/lucid dreaming?

I've always been a lucid dreamer. However, in addition to this, there are specific times when I know when to expect a series of extremely vivid dreams to occur; I am wondering about the correlation between dreams and the re-uptake of serotonin in the brain.

It may be a catalyst of REM-rebound.
_____________________________________________________________________
Serotonin is one of the few neurochemicals that is greatly diminished during REM, in order for REM to occur. So, when you artificially block out REM with a flush of serotonin during a specific period of time (say, 10pm-4am) the brain still needs that missed REM and will simply build it up to occur when the  serotonin levels have dropped back down. When this happens (say, 4am-6am) you have a large block of REM sleep that is very vivid and prolonged rather than a natural sleep architecture wherein REM sleep occurs in progressively longer periods every 90 minutes throughout the entire night.

If someone is taking higher doses of SSRI meds that block out REM entirely for a couple nights and then stop taking said meds, then that next night will have the same REM-rebound results.

________________________________________________________________________

Since taking the medication i have been dreaming every single night. Really vivid dreams, thees dreams were so vivid i would literally talk out loud in my sleep. In some of the dreams i felt emotions for the first time in a while. Emotions such as anger, love, joy,embarrassment... It was strange. And thees dreams persist the entire night. Its as if i am only feeling my emotions in my dreams and when i first wake up but even then they arnt that normal at all. I also had an erection in my sleep occasionally but it always fades by morning. (The inability to get erections is another symptom) 

 

What do you think this all means? Also when i wake up from sleep my head feels like it used to feel after being stressed for a very long period of time. It feels as if it has been pressing and smashing up against my skull. Now its just slowly expanding and detracting and my brain(I know brain doesn't have nerves so for clarities sake i will say scalp) feels very itchy and stings.

 

Could i be stressing in my sleep? Could this be using up all my serotonin?  Or do i feel serotonin in my sleep because im not stressed? Or do i feel it because dreams are short?

 

______

 

Also why did i feel better after fasting? I really noticed a somewhat large improvement.. Could that be because whatever i have originates in my stomach and feeds of food?( I know that sounds crazy) Or could it be because i feel adrenaline (from low blood sugar) i feel more emotion? Soon after fasting my stress returned at full force then emotions faded.

 

I feel like the brain numbing is almost a defense mechanism... Its as if my brain is constantly stressed by OCD things but i cant feel it. My brain gets dumber and even locks at times for what i think is for no reason. But instead it is locking because its really stressed i just cant feel it because it has been numbed...

The new stress for me includes no adrenaline and no head pain just back pain and stomach pain.

 

I would just like to know what may be going on. Am i going through PSSD? or CNS recovery? How can i go through CNS recovery if i was only on the pill for a day(not long enough to experience positive side effects) or acording to my doc change my brains cns.. what if the only thing im experiencing is a negative side effect of a sexual nature... Think about it it screws up my abylity to feel adrenaline and sexual ness witch numbs my emotions... Idk I know i shouldnt be looking to much into this but if you guys could read over the last sevral posts and help me draw a conclusion i would really appreciate it.

 

__________

 

I also am feeling allot more stress when i wake up, lie back pain exedra.

 

Its seems to be a sign of my low serotonin levels. My question is, will raising serotonin levels give me my emotion and sexual drive back? Will decreasing stress increase serotonin?

 

i also used to have an erection every time i woke up... Now i don't. How can one bloody pill do all of this?

 

i know im stressed i just cant feel the pain anymore..

Edited November 3, 2016 by scallywag
indented quoted content

[scallywag]

All the symptoms you are experiencing are probably the result of your exposure to Zoloft.  Withdrawal symptoms cover a wide swath of one's well-being: cognitive (thinking and memory), emotional (mood, motivation, emotions), physical (appetite changes, flu-like symptoms, digestion problems, changes in sexual drive and function, headaches, sensory issues, and others).   These same symptoms can occur while taking the medication, aka "side" effects.

 

Dreaming: To me, someone who doesn't give the occurrence or content dreams any meaning, the fact that you are dreaming means that neurons are firing in both new and established patterns and sequences in your brain.  You're dreaming because you're dreaming and you remember your dreams because you remember your dreams.

 

Serotonin: You aren't using up your serotonin while you sleep. The hypothesis about low serotonin levels being related to depression was always very weak and is now largely discredited. Trying to fiddle with serotonin levels will not help you, and in fact is likely to be detrimental.

 

Symptoms disappearing while you sleep is good news. It is an excellent indication that you will recover.

 

Headaches are a known withdrawal symptom, whether it shows up as internal pressure or an ache/pain in one or more areas.

 

Fasting brings on an "alert" or "emergency" state in your body. At some point, the body releases betaendorphins to deal with the hunger pains.

Betaendorphins "kill" pain in the same way that morphine and opiates do, or perhaps better to say that morphine and opiates "kill" pain the same way as the betaendorphins produced by our body.

 

Fasting has benefits only for HEALTHY people. Fasting has benefits only for HEALTHY people. (intentional repetition) Right now you are not in that group because you experience symptoms from having had a bad reaction to Zoloft. It is not a good idea for you to be fasting or messing about with diet techniques. Keep it simple: eat healthy food regularly.

 

Cognitive symptoms, such as brain numbing, are acknowledged withdrawal symptoms.

 

One of the symptoms of CNS dysregulation is PSSD. Many people's issues resolve as the CNS restores itself to a drug-free state.

 

I hope that I have answered your questions.

 

 

You are paying a lot of attention to your symptoms. This is not helping you deal with them.

 

What could you do to distract yourself from your symptoms? It doesn't matter if you have no emotions about the activity; the purpose of a distracting activity is to focus on something other than yourself and your symptoms.

[TheWayfarer]

So chances are I will recover from these symptoms....? I understand I must distract myself stress and worry are not doing anything for me... I just can't take that terrible idea of this being long term. I hope it won't be. I'm feeling better than usual I must admit. Perhaps I am recovering.

[TheWayfarer]

I really approximate your response. I am afraid though that my OCD is getting in the way of my recovery. I really hope my CNS recovers. Even I it takes a while if I am 100% better by the end of the month or even in two months that would be great more than great a miricle. Is there an estimated time of recovery? And allo why do I feel better after fasting?

[TheWayfarer]

http://rxisk.org/buried-alive-post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-pssd/#comments

 

 

This is my fear

 

After only one pill..... Ive even heard of two pill only cases. I am focusing on it you are right i shoudl be doing things to cope but im afraid that if i do i may do everything i can and still not get better or fully recover. My brain wont stop fluxiating. Some emotion, irrational emotion no emotion. I am arade it will settle somewhere on on irational or no emotion mabye in beetween... There is just so much at stake. And nothing can ease my anxiaties. because there is a potability. I apolagize for this i know it doesnt help me and may be a waste of your time. I just need to get better..... I dont know. But thank you for being there for me.

[scallywag]

Wayfarer -- we've told you that the only thing you can do is ride out the symptoms. They will decrease over time. 
 
I understand that you're scared of the long-term. The best thing you can do is focus on NOW.  Ask yourself, "What can I do now?" The answer to that is to develop non-drug coping skills and to find activities to distract yourself. Doing research into symptoms and worst-case scenarios appear to initiate an obsessional reaction for you. This is counter productive and a waste of your intelligence and energy.
 
If you must poke around the internet, why not research topics such as neuroplasticity -- the ability of the brain to heal itself?
Neuroplasticity and limbic retraining
 
Other ideas:
tai chi video
meditation video
mindfulness
yoga positions

 

Edited to add:  Some food for thought from another member's (bubble, a moderator) intro topic:
 

And it's often almost impossible to attribute it to that one thing - the taper or work and other life-activities.

I've found that it's not necessary and often counter productive to try and attribute every time I'm feeling bad to a specific cause. It takes a lot of time and energy I would rather put toward quality of life issues. I'm feeling bad in the first place and I have to do XXX to counter it. It doesn't matter if it's because of work, life stress,or such, it's all based on or amplified by WD and it all has to be handled. Knowing what triggers a reaction is very helpful.

However,constantly analyzing every feeling to get to the root cause is a WD symptom in itself, that is blocking us from getting to over all acceptance. Which is so important for moving forward. Also the variety of things we will experience is constantly changing minute by minute (as it also does in normal people, we just micro-focus on it) making daily attributions futile. Making the overall trends of WDnormal the best sign posts we have for recovery.

Edited November 3, 2016 by scallywag

[TheWayfarer]

I really appreciate your repsonce. My family and i are doing the best we can to deal with this current crisis. We may even get a dog witch should help keep me in the present Its really hard to shake that terrible thought. I know recovery time cant be predicted, but you have seen many cases like mine im sure, were some-ones body over reacts to a medication. Is there a time frame i can expect things to get better? Is there a worst case scenario? When do you think i will be my normal teenage self again? Ive got allot of work to do and its hard to do it with what im going through.

 

 

PS: I read the link and it is definitely interesting. I believe i will start Tai-Chi

 

I just miss life normal life so much already, i know its been ages for some of you but i just took one bloody pill. My brain was NORMAL not that long ago. Now im looking at months if not years of gradual recovery.... Please tell me im overexagerating

 

I just dont know what to put my time frame on, i dont know how long it takes for my brains chemestry to get better... But you do i belive have an idea. So please if you would give me an idea i would very much apriciate it.

 

by the way i started eating again and i felt soooo much better while fasting... For what its worth..

[scallywag]

Your response to a single dose is what is called an outlier; you're not the only person who has had that experience. The people who have had this experience and connected it to the medication is a very small percentage of all the people that have taken Zoloft.  Some people have no problems starting to take a medication; others have start-up reactions that go away after a few days or weeks. A very small number of people have extreme reactions such as yours -- outliers. Because the number of people with extreme negative reactions is small and the drug manufacturers do not want to do research about the negative effects of their products, there's little to no information about how long it takes to recover.

 

I wish this was as simple as I knew the answer to your question but am being a jerk withholding the truth. I really have no idea.

[TheWayfarer]

Is being an outlier a good thing? Does this mean i will recover? Have you seen anyone who was an outline recover completely?

 

Once again i really appreciate your response.

[TheWayfarer]

This will more than lilkly be the last response I will look at on this site for a month. God willing I will recover. Please, be as direct as possible. If you have seen anyone like me make a full recovery.

[Shep]

Hi, Wayfarer.

 

Check out the Success Stories. 

 

I think it will provide some perspective - if people who were drugged (some of them polydrugged) for years and healed, it tells you that healing from a single dose of one drug is extremely possible. In fact, it's most likely, most probable. Yes, you are going to be fine. 

 

You can worry yourself into panic or you can use this as a wake up call to find a better way of handling your anxiety and your OCD. Remember, you had OCD before taking Zoloft, so this is something you can work on to help you get through this rough patch. 

 

When all else fails, take deep, slow breaths. Concentrate on your breath. Bring your thoughts into a quiet space. 

 

It's only been a few days since you had this bad reaction. You're going to be fine. 

 

[Shep]

Here's another one. I used this a lot during my journey off drugs.  It's a very short video, and it's definitely worth putting some effort into learning this. 

 

4-7-8 Breathing Exercise by GoZen - VIDEO - 3:39 minutes

[TheWayfarer]

If all else failed maybe b12 injections will work

[Shep]

I'm not sure I would use supplements until you've given your CNS time to settle down. But please research and get an education before trying anything:

 

Vitamin B12

 

You said "if all else failed", but what have you tried? Have you tried any of the relaxation techniques or breathing exercises? If so, what was your experience? Did calming yourself help with anxiety? 

 

This could be a powerful learning experience for you, Wayfarer. Try not to look for something else to put into your mind and body until your CNS calms down. You have a history of being very sensitive to meds, and this could also be true of supplements. 

 

If you go through the various links on mindfulness on this site, you'll find research that shows meditation actually changes how the brain works, and it's a very powerful tool to help with OCD.

 

Just a thought. 

[TheWayfarer]

There is no fate worse than losing ones self. there is none. Losing family and friends, it is terrible but so is having family and friends and being unable to connect. Man i truly evil for bending the laws of nature and inventing such terrible substances. When god made earth he made the earth perfect. But man wanted to change this perfect earth. Make life faster and esey'r faster... And consequently thousands die by car accidents we have to put our animal on leashes... Life used to be about the journey when one got sad he would griev and recover when one had OCD he would cope. But man made drugs. Now we have sites such as surviving anti depressants. And people are suffering. Now i am truly a slave to my mind. A ship without a rudder. I thought i always thought i was born in the wrong time, i thought i was born in the 21st century to fix it. So i put everything i was into polatics into this world. Now that has been taken my passion. My personality. Myself. I no longer have a reason to be alive unless i recover and even so i cant help look at the past in envy. God how hopefully terribly contradictory my existence has become.

[TheWayfarer]

I cant shake the idea that i may never make a full recovery i just cant i just cant i cant. I must not panic i know i need somthing to focus on while i do recover but i was looking at the recovery storries and not many of the PSSD stories seem like real recoveries and the ones that do are pretty long. Is it possible that the more i think about this the worse it will be?

[bubble]

Not only is it possible but it's already happening... you are making yourself worse.

 

There are so many suggestions you got but it seems nothing really gets through to you.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Wayfarer,

 

It is only about 10 days since you took the 1 tablet of Zoloft.  It is going to take time.  You have been spending a lot of time on this site and probably on the internet trying to find answers, and in the process you have found a lot of negative things.  Dwelling on our problems, any type of problems, makes them worse and seem a whole lot bigger than they actually are, and makes them feel like they last for a long time and feel like they may last forever.  We cannot hurry time but we can make the time feel like it is passing more quickly by doing other things.

 

It has already been suggested that you try and distract yourself.  I know that this is hard and it does take effort, but if you use your effort to get through each day with the least amount of stress as possible, the time will go more quickly and maybe 1 or 2 weeks down the track you will be able to look back and see some improvements, however small.

 

We can tell you how to distract yourself and we can tell you not to stress, but only you can do it, we cannot do it for you.  You are not doing yourself any good by continually focussing on the bad things.  Start trying to find more positive things to think and do.  It's not long until Christmas.  Are you able to do some fun or interesting things in preparation for the Christmas holiday season?

[TheWayfarer]

I appreciate the advise i will try to take it to heart. Its hard when you feel like a corpse brought alive by battery acid injections all the time.. My brother helped me come to terms with my condition. It is a cancer and it cant be avoided, i shouldn't feel forlorn what is done is done. I can either drown or swim the choice is mine my life still exists i am still breathing.. A cancer patient would do anything to live given the chance for my families sake i must be as strong as a cancer survivor... Even though it is a potability i may never fully recover it is also possible i will fully recover only time will tell.

 

Parents still think that it was depression that caused it and that once i recover from depression i will be fine again... I wish they were right.

[TheWayfarer]

I feel a happy for no reason yet it feels chemically and i smell a strange smell..