Godiswithme: I'm very scared

[yyeehhaaww]

I so totally agree.  Very difficult to find and few exist.  Mad in America must be notified.  Are you able?  He should NOT be getting any referrals.

[Mort81]

Ya foresure! I did send an email to Robert Whittaker telling him this doctor doesn't represent MIA views or findings . Not sure what will happen. They have 111 Doctors in there database. I wouldn't be surprised if only 20% of them understand what's going on.

[Godiswithme]

I really need to make a decision regarding trying to reinstate 1mg? of escitalopram to alleviate withdrawal symptoms. Due to pressure in my tongue area and chin area, is it completely out of the question to take that chance? I know only I can make this decision. i wouldn't ask if I didn't feel very badly. My window for reinstatement could be? Nearing the end. ( close to 3 mos after cold turkey of 30 mg of escitalopram for two years and Abilify for 8 months)

I received one answer from a moderator I greatly respect. Actually, I have respect for everyone on this forum. Looking to hear from others, if possible. Thank you.

[Godiswithme]

Please? Just asking for people with any experience to share? I cold turkeyed 30 mg escitalopram almost 3 mos ago. Any experience on taking 10 mg to try to stabilize at this point? Or does it seem too far out for that?

[jmncrr]

Ive given you my opinion already, and that was to reinstate. We are however talking about two medicines here, so reinstating one will still leave the withdrawals from the other. So it might be hard to tell if reinstatement of one is working. You might want to consider reinstating both, and i would say one at a time a few days apart i would guess. I wish you the best.

[Altostrata]

I notice some pressure in my chin area and my tongue seems to push upwards.

 

 

Please give more detail. Pressure where? What does "seems to push" mean? Where does your tongue go?

 

Doctors may have a lot of reservations about psychiatric drugs and be allied more or less with Robert Whitaker's viewpoint but still not know a bean about withdrawal.

[Godiswithme]

 

I notice some pressure in my chin area and my tongue seems to push upwards.

 

Please give more detail. Pressure where? What does "seems to push" mean? Where does your tongue go?

 

Doctors may have a lot of reservations about psychiatric drugs and be allied more or less with Robert Whitaker's viewpoint but still not know a bean about withdrawal.

Ok. I feel a pressure feeling in my chin - which is my jaw- that I have never felt before. It's like tension in my chin.

My tongue is lightly pressing up against the roof of my mouth. But I take Xanax which I had taken before cold turkey of AD and Abilify. So, I don't feel these things constantly. But I do feel it more as Xanax is wearing off.

[Godiswithme]

Ive given you my opinion already, and that was to reinstate. We are however talking about two medicines here, so reinstating one will still leave the withdrawals from the other. So it might be hard to tell if reinstatement of one is working. You might want to consider reinstating both, and i would say one at a time a few days apart i would guess. I wish you the best.

Thank you. I would not consider reinstating the Abilify so you have given me something to think about. Much appreciated.

[Altostrata]

What do you, mean, "lightly pressing"? How often does this happen? Is it spastic or is it just up there in your mouth?

 

I'm asking this because if you have tongue symptoms of tardive dyskinesia, if I were you, I would not reinstate Abilify or escilatopram because they can cause TD.

 

However, if you're simply paying too much attention to your tongue or other very small symptoms, you don't have TD.

 

The only way we can ascertain this is by your complete detailed description.

 

I've said this several times already. I am feeling very frustrated by our poor communication. You have a history of playing with your drugs and it seems you want to continue that.

[Godiswithme]

What do you, mean, "lightly pressing"? How often does this happen? Is it spastic or is it just up there in your mouth?

 

I'm asking this because if you have tongue symptoms of tardive dyskinesia, if I were you, I would not reinstate Abilify or escilatopram because they can cause TD.

 

However, if you're simply paying too much attention to your tongue or other very small symptoms, you don't have TD.

 

The only way we can ascertain this is by your complete detailed description.

 

I've said this several times already. I am feeling very frustrated by our poor communication. You have a history of playing with your drugs and it seems you want to continue that.

Hello, I am definitely not paying too much attention to it. It catches me by surprise. I do not feel it all of the time. Maybe an average of twice per day? It is not spastic. It is subtle. I can control it. It gently rises to the roof of my mouth. It happens along with pressure in the chin/jaw area. But my jaw doesn't move.

I'm really sorry you feel I have a history of playing with drugs? I just wanted off of what I was on and was not aware of the correct way to do it when I did it. I definitely don't want to continue to play with any drugs? I am not doing well and feeling desperate. I thought I could get through this, but I am feeling worse and worse. So reinstatement has been on my mind.

I am thankful for your input.

[Altostrata]

As I've said before several times, if you have had tardive dyskinesia or have it now, taking antidepressants or antipsychotics may make it worse. As I've said before, my guess is you're better off working with the benzo you already have on board.

 

There are no easy ways to do this and asking the same question over and over will not get a different answer.

[Godiswithme]

 

As I've said before several times, if you have had tardive dyskinesia or have it now, taking antidepressants or antipsychotics may make it worse. As I've said before, my guess is you're better off working with the benzo you already have on board.

 

There are no easy ways to do this and asking the same question over and over will not get a different answer.[/quote

 

You asked me to explain the symptom in more detail. That is what I tried to do. I have no idea if this is what I have. I thought someone may possibly share the same symptom?

It was not my intent to frustrate you.

[Altostrata]

You need to let your nervous system settle down. Symptoms should fade. Focus on working with the benzo.

[Godiswithme]

You need to let your nervous system settle down. Symptoms should fade. Focus on working with the benzo.

Thank you.

[JanCarol]

Hey, GodIsWithMe, it looks like you are getting good attention and care from the mod team (I have been away).

 

I'm not really ready to suggest a reinstatement of AD yet, not until mods are satisfied that your benzos are as smooth as they can be.  I would caution you against "emergency doses" as that just creates a flood, and after the flood a drought.  As someone living in Australia, I know that after the drought can come forest fires - which is an apt description of post-benzo panic.  So it is important not to flood your system to begin with.

 

Once your benzos are smooth, I believe a tiny reinstatement may help stabilize you further.  But maybe you can get stable "enough" (how much pain is "too much"?) without an AD.

 

This comment stood out for me:

Does anyone feel agoraphobia in their own home? I am afraid to go upstairs sometimes. Or afraid to go into different rooms. This is bizarre. I have a family. Not functioning. Just in extreme terror. 

 

There's a thing our brain does, when we make a change.

 

Doorways are one of these things.

 

You know when you get up to get something out of the kitchen, but you walk through a doorway - and as soon as you walk through that doorway, you forget what you were looking for?

 

My husband has had a stroke, and we call these events "resets."  Like "Oh $#^& ,my brain reset and I forgot."

 

There may be other triggers for resets.  Sounds, changes in color on the walls or the floor.  A breeze or a draft.  Stairs would definitely be a long journey through the nervous system.  (try sitting halfway up or down, to explore your feelings about the stairs!)  Any sensory input which could shift your nervous system and brain functioning.

 

So be aware of these resets and see if they affect your nervous system.  Being aware of them should help you to deal with them.  Learning what sets you off (I hate the word "trigger"), and being aware of your reaction to them - should help you.

 

It is not at all unusual to have agoraphobia in your own house.  The key here, is making sure that you have a nest - a safe place to return to - and learning to manipulate your environment so that it is less jarring to your nervous system.  This may include loud music, flickering or bright lights, TV (makes all kinds of random things that can fire your nerves), and sense of well being may be a part of this.  I also find that I only like being in rooms where there is comfortable furniture.  That is not the whole house!  There are rooms I am more comfortable in, and rooms I am less comfortable in.

 

Find "your place" in the house - the place where you are most comfortable, and cherish that place.  Fill it with what you need - a place for a beverage, a blindfold, earplugs, a blanket (or snuggie!) - whatever it is that makes your nervous system still and quiet.

 

From there, you can work on the other stuff.

 

What do you think?

[Godiswithme]

Hey, GodIsWithMe, it looks like you are getting good attention and care from the mod team (I have been away).

 

I'm not really ready to suggest a reinstatement of AD yet, not until mods are satisfied that your benzos are as smooth as they can be. I would caution you against "emergency doses" as that just creates a flood, and after the flood a drought. As someone living in Australia, I know that after the drought can come forest fires - which is an apt description of post-benzo panic. So it is important not to flood your system to begin with.

 

Once your benzos are smooth, I believe a tiny reinstatement may help stabilize you further. But maybe you can get stable "enough" (how much pain is "too much"?) without an AD.

 

This comment stood out for me:

Does anyone feel agoraphobia in their own home? I am afraid to go upstairs sometimes. Or afraid to go into different rooms. This is bizarre. I have a family. Not functioning. Just in extreme terror.

There's a thing our brain does, when we make a change.

 

Doorways are one of these things.

 

You know when you get up to get something out of the kitchen, but you walk through a doorway - and as soon as you walk through that doorway, you forget what you were looking for?

 

My husband has had a stroke, and we call these events "resets." Like "Oh $#^& ,my brain reset and I forgot."

 

There may be other triggers for resets. Sounds, changes in color on the walls or the floor. A breeze or a draft. Stairs would definitely be a long journey through the nervous system. (try sitting halfway up or down, to explore your feelings about the stairs!) Any sensory input which could shift your nervous system and brain functioning.

 

So be aware of these resets and see if they affect your nervous system. Being aware of them should help you to deal with them. Learning what sets you off (I hate the word "trigger"), and being aware of your reaction to them - should help you.

 

It is not at all unusual to have agoraphobia in your own house. The key here, is making sure that you have a nest - a safe place to return to - and learning to manipulate your environment so that it is less jarring to your nervous system. This may include loud music, flickering or bright lights, TV (makes all kinds of random things that can fire your nerves), and sense of well being may be a part of this. I also find that I only like being in rooms where there is comfortable furniture. That is not the whole house! There are rooms I am more comfortable in, and rooms I am less comfortable in.

 

Find "your place" in the house - the place where you are most comfortable, and cherish that place. Fill it with what you need - a place for a beverage, a blindfold, earplugs, a blanket (or snuggie!) - whatever it is that makes your nervous system still and quiet.

 

From there, you can work on the other stuff.

 

What do you think?

Hi JanCarol. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It was very nice of you to take that much time to think through it. Much appreciated.

Right now, I am very confused. (And shocked?)Yesterday, out of the blue, I had NO adrenaline surges all day. So whereas, I have been jumping out of my skin for each Xanax dose, I was kind of annoyed when it was time to take it. I SLEPT through my last dose (not good) and am taking it 1 1/2 hour late. Not sure what to think right now. No adrenaline horror which I believe has been akathisia yet this morning either.

[Godiswithme]

What I have now feels like an iron pole stuck down through my chest into my stomach. Not pain. I went to my family doctor today. He insisted there is no withdrawal for AD's. And benzos don't need to be tapered. He told me I have a panic disorder. As I tried to tell him, I had the very first panic attack of my life after C/T AD and Abilify. He doesn't care. So I sat there with the iron pole through my chest and into my stomach like a lead weight. Never had this before. Is this the reduced tolerance for stress everyone talks about? Everytime I talk to my kids, my chest gets tight. And I feel the lead weight in my stomach. This is better than the constant adrenaline surges, but can anyone relate?

[Godiswithme]

May I ask someone further along in withdrawal - do the excess butterflies in the stomach caused by stress ever go away?

[Godiswithme]

May I please ask at what month after last dose of AD drug is the withdrawal considered protracted? I have read the recovery threads. I realize people who heal rather quickly tend not to stick around on forum. Are there many people who heal within a year? Thank you.

I watched Ian Singleton's video which I think was mostly related to benzodiazepines. But not sure.

[doggiemama]

Jip sounds like W/D.I C/Ted ceralex and stillnox after taking them for 10 years+ been off for 2 years and 2 months and still have horrific days much better than 6 months ago but still have anxiety body pain on the right side and days that my chest and tummy feel so painful I worry about my heart . But don't get discouraged its not the same for everyone.

[Godiswithme]

Here's a discussion: extreme-difficulty-when-in-final-stretch-stay-on-low-dose-forever

I went to a new dr. Today. He gave me a prescription for 5 mg Lexapro tablets. I was on Escitalopram. Cold Turkeyed at 30 mg of Lexapro and 2 mg of Abilify on Sept 4th. I am at the 90 day mark. Window closing for reinstatement? I asked for liquid, he said no. I may be able to persuade him.

1) if I reinstate, do I need escitalopram tablets? as opposed to Lexapro?

2) what milligram would be suggested. Could I dry cut the pill? Or should I try to get the liquid?

I don't mean to invite drama. Just being honest. My symptoms are intense fear, anxiety and panic, dread, doom and gloom, crying, agoraphobia, Cortisol rushes. Insomnia. Lack of appetite. I am losing weight to the point of concern. Blurry vision, brain fog, heart palpitations. Isolating myself from all social contacts. I lost a job. They may give me another chance. May I please get an idea for a reinstatement amount? I need to stabilize. It has been 90 days. I have tried the soothing methods. Some helped a bit, but I am not functioning. I have 2 teenage sons I need to care for.

I know reinstatement may not work. But, can I please get an idea from mods on how much to try? Would 5mg be enough or too much? 10 mg. ? my goal would be to become a functioning person again. Taper in the future, when I am more stable. One article I read implied I could go as high as 20 mg or 21 mg. assuming a 10 percent decrease per month of being off the drug. I don't want to do that, but as Maple Leaf Girl stated, I am getting too desperate. I need to live again. Please, I am earnestly asking for help. I have read the reinstatement link many times. If I wanted to not just soften the symptoms, but actually get back the job I lost, how could I go about that? Is it possible? thank you. Sincerely asking for help from moderators.

[ChessieCat]

Lexapro is the brand name for escitalopram.

[Godiswithme]

Chessie Cat. Thank you. So it seems what I have would be fine. Thank you. Do you still think one mg to start? Since I c/t at 30 mg, does that imply I may want to go higher? many thanks.

[ChessieCat]

"Would 5mg be enough or too much? 10 mg. ? my goal would be to become a functioning person again. Taper in the future, when I am more stable. One article I read implied I could go as high as 20 mg or 21 mg."

 

I have let the other mods know that you are asking thinking about reinstating.  I strongly suggest that you wait until the mods have had a chance to discuss the dosage.  Lexapro/escitalopram is a very strong drug, one of the strongest ADs so you will need to start very low.

 

Please wait for assistance with the dose.

[Godiswithme]

Thank you so much for responding to me.

[Beary]

did you reinstate?

[Godiswithme]

No, not yet.

[Altostrata]

 

 

Good to hear you're on a more regular schedule with the benzo. It may take some time for your system to accommodate, hopefully in a more calm direction.

 

If you can feel you need the second and third dose, I suspect you may either need more doses or a bit of an updose. Please discuss in the Benzo forum. But be sure to give regular dosing a chance, keep notes of symptoms relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Cold turkey is a high-risk way to go off drugs. We can't predict how long it will take for your nervous system to settle down.

 

Did you ever take Celexa?

 

May I ask for an opinion on me reinstating?

Anxiety unbearable. I never took Celexa. Not sure why you wanted to know. I thank you for your time. Much appreciated.

 

 

Because of the tongue symptom, I am wary of adding another drug.

 

Celexa is a close relative of Lexapro that is milder. If adding an SSRI seems like a good idea to you, you might consider adding a very small amount of Celexa rather than Lexapro.

 

Instead, I might consider increasing the daily benzo dosage, possibly by adding another dose or two, after you give evening out your schedule a trial. Please discuss with Wellness.

 

 

 

The above is still true.

 

You've had some success with evening out the benzo, why are you still preoccupied with taking Lexapro again?

 

As I've explained, very few physicians recognize withdrawal syndrome and even fewer have any idea of how to treat it. I realize this puts you in the difficult position of having to make decisions yourself -- everyone on this site is in the same situation.

 

Since you go to doctors who write up prescriptions for Lexapro, do you find that medical authority convincing?

 

For reasons I've stated before, if I were you, I would not take Lexapro, and I definitely would not take as much as 5mg Lexapro.

 

You can do whatever you want, but you should know that if you have a bad reaction, we can't fix you and your doctor will disavow responsibility for it. It's your choice what to do. 

[JanCarol]

Hey GiWM - I agree with Alto, that reinstatement is risky for you, especially with Lexapro, because it is so strong.

 

One article I read implied I could go as high as 20 mg or 21 mg.

 

This sounds dangerous, and reckless.  Especially given the symptoms you have reported here.

 

At most.  At the very most. Because of your symptoms, I would not take over 1/2 mg of lexapro.  That's 0.5 mg.  Yes, how are you going to do that with 5 mg tablets?  1/10th of a tablet!  It is a shame that the doctor wouldn't listen, and give you the liquid.  Is there a chance you could go back and be more firm with your doctor, and get the liquid?

 

Otherwise, you can make your own liquid: How to Make a Liquid from Tablets or Capsule

and measure your daily doses with a syringe: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-using-an-oral-syringe-and-other-tapering-techniques/

 

It will probably take some practice with making the liquid and measuring with the syringe to get it right.  What is most important is that you consistently take the same amount each day.  Whether that is exactly 0.5 mg is less important, than keeping your doses consistent.  Additionally - you will have to take this one at the same time each day, every day.  No missing doses, no delayed doses. 

 

 Are you sure you are up for this?  You have had difficulty taking your xanax on a regular schedule. 

 

I was hoping that you would wait for the benzo to level out before trying a reinstatement.  Really, all you've learned by going to the doctor, is that your doctor doesn't understand withdrawal, and has given you another script.

 

But if you are suffering so badly that you feel you must reinstate, try just 0.5 mg.  

 

If you want to "test the waters" and see if this is going to work, open the capsule or crush the tablet, and take only the tiny amount that fits on the tine of a dinner fork.  Literally, a crumb, to test and see if you are going to react to it.  You can take this while you are learning to make the liquid, which will be a more measured dose.

 

If your tongue and jaw symptoms increase from that, quit immediately.  If your symptoms improve within the first 4 days, you will know you are on to something.

 

If you do reinstate, it will be up to you to decide whether any side effects are worst than any relief you might get.  Keep notes on paper, as you have been instructed here.  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1779-rate-symptoms-daily-to-track-patterns-and-progress/  

 

There is no magic 90 day cutoff for reinstatement.  It is a rough guideline only.  We've had failed reinstatements inside that window of opportunity, and successful reinstatements over a year out.

 

We can't decide for you.  But I can suggest strongly that you respect this drug for the man-eating monster that it is, and try only the smallest, tiniest amounts.  I have suggested here what you can do, and laid out a course to minimize the risk.  Most of the moderators here feel it is not what you should do - but ultimately, it is your decision to make.

[Godiswithme]

 

 

 

Good to hear you're on a more regular schedule with the benzo. It may take some time for your system to accommodate, hopefully in a more calm direction.

 

If you can feel you need the second and third dose, I suspect you may either need more doses or a bit of an updose. Please discuss in the Benzo forum. But be sure to give regular dosing a chance, keep notes of symptoms relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Cold turkey is a high-risk way to go off drugs. We can't predict how long it will take for your nervous system to settle down.

 

Did you ever take Celexa?

May I ask for an opinion on me reinstating?

Anxiety unbearable. I never took Celexa. Not sure why you wanted to know. I thank you for your time. Much appreciated.

Because of the tongue symptom, I am wary of adding another drug.

 

Celexa is a close relative of Lexapro that is milder. If adding an SSRI seems like a good idea to you, you might consider adding a very small amount of Celexa rather than Lexapro.

 

Instead, I might consider increasing the daily benzo dosage, possibly by adding another dose or two, after you give evening out your schedule a trial. Please discuss with Wellness.

The above is still true.

 

You've had some success with evening out the benzo, why are you still preoccupied with taking Lexapro again?

 

As I've explained, very few physicians recognize withdrawal syndrome and even fewer have any idea of how to treat it. I realize this puts you in the difficult position of having to make decisions yourself -- everyone on this site is in the same situation.

 

Since you go to doctors who write up prescriptions for Lexapro, do you find that medical authority convincing?

 

For reasons I've stated before, if I were you, I would not take Lexapro, and I definitely would not take as much as 5mg Lexapro.

 

You can do whatever you want, but you should know that if you have a bad reaction, we can't fix you and your doctor will disavow responsibility for it. It's your choice what to do.

Thank you for responding. I am definitely not going to do whatever I want. I just want to feel like a human being again. Evening out the benzo has helped a little.

I can't eat. Do not want to sound dramatic. I'm losing weight at an alarming rate. I thought I possibly could regain a bit of life back. Afraid of my time frame closing. If I could work, I think my life would improve drastically. Even though the possible TDyskeia could be an issue, and that certainly scares me, I want to function.

Of course, I highly value your opinion. You did not give an amount for Celexa so it doesn't seem you think that is the way to go either. Thank you.

[Godiswithme]

Hey GiWM - I agree with Alto, that reinstatement is risky for you, especially with Lexapro, because it is so strong.

 

One article I read implied I could go as high as 20 mg or 21 mg.

This sounds dangerous, and reckless. Especially given the symptoms you have reported here.

 

At most. At the very most. Because of your symptoms, I would not take over 1/2 mg of lexapro. That's 0.5 mg. Yes, how are you going to do that with 5 mg tablets? 1/10th of a tablet! It is a shame that the doctor wouldn't listen, and give you the liquid. Is there a chance you could go back and be more firm with your doctor, and get the liquid?

 

Otherwise, you can make your own liquid: How to Make a Liquid from Tablets or Capsule

and measure your daily doses with a syringe: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-using-an-oral-syringe-and-other-tapering-techniques/

 

It will probably take some practice with making the liquid and measuring with the syringe to get it right. What is most important is that you consistently take the same amount each day. Whether that is exactly 0.5 mg is less important, than keeping your doses consistent. Additionally - you will have to take this one at the same time each day, every day. No missing doses, no delayed doses.

 

Are you sure you are up for this? You have had difficulty taking your xanax on a regular schedule.

 

I was hoping that you would wait for the benzo to level out before trying a reinstatement. Really, all you've learned by going to the doctor, is that your doctor doesn't understand withdrawal, and has given you another script.

 

But if you are suffering so badly that you feel you must reinstate, try just 0.5 mg.

 

If you want to "test the waters" and see if this is going to work, open the capsule or crush the tablet, and take only the tiny amount that fits on the tine of a dinner fork. Literally, a crumb, to test and see if you are going to react to it. You can take this while you are learning to make the liquid, which will be a more measured dose.

 

If your tongue and jaw symptoms increase from that, quit immediately. If your symptoms improve within the first 4 days, you will know you are on to something.

 

If you do reinstate, it will be up to you to decide whether any side effects are worst than any relief you might get. Keep notes on paper, as you have been instructed here. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1779-rate-symptoms-daily-to-track-patterns-and-progress/

 

There is no magic 90 day cutoff for reinstatement. It is a rough guideline only. We've had failed reinstatements inside that window of opportunity, and successful reinstatements over a year out.

 

We can't decide for you. But I can suggest strongly that you respect this drug for the man-eating monster that it is, and try only the smallest, tiniest amounts. I have suggested here what you can do, and laid out a course to minimize the risk. Most of the moderators here feel it is not what you should do - but ultimately, it is your decision to make.

Thank you. It sure doesn't seem like I should do it. May I please ask if I can get much better than I am without doing this? It doesn't sound like it could get me to the point of holding a job at this point? I know no one knows for sure. But it seems as if Lexapro is the worst? Is the main reason against reinstating the tongue issue or is there more? Thank you.

[bubble]

I think the main issue against reinstating is the tongue issue but there is more.

 

However, as somebody who at one point CT-ed both Xanax and Lexapro I would give reinstatement a try. Strictly following what JanCarol said and observing your symptoms very carefully.

 

Unfortunately nothing you do will make you functional immediately. Reinstatement brought a quick relief to my symptoms, I noticed a positive change but going back to my baseline took months with symptoms decreasing gradually.

 

I would also like to give you a practical tip. We all agree that should you decide to reinstate it should be a tiny dose. I make my own Lexapro liquid from a tablet and it is very simple. All you need is a smaller jar with a lid and a syringe (I have one 10 ml and one 2 ml which allows me to measure doses such as 0.5 ml).

 

I would put 5 mg pill into 10 ml of water and then draw out 1 ml to get 0.5 mg of the drug. (Or you could take 5 ml and draw out 0.5 ml but I find it easier to work with more water for such small doses). The pill disintegrates into tiny particles in water after a few minutes. I stir it well and it works. I put the remainder in the fridge and it lasts for 4 days. After that I make a new batch.

 

You have been off for 3 months so tiny dose is very important because your brain is very sensitive and it did a number of adjustments already. If there is a bad reaction it's easy to stop such a small dose. Also if you need more you can always add.

 

You will get through this.

[Godiswithme]

Thank you Bubble. I'm very confused about whether to try.

[bubble]

I can totally understand that. I wish I had considered my options this carefully. I was extremely scared when things started spiraling out of control so I went to a bigger dose than I was on before...

 

This is something we can't help you with unfortunately. I think we told you all we know. JanCarol's post is extremely valuable, Alto advised trying Celexa if you decide to reinstate.

 

Based on my experience and others that I've seen I would also be in favour of reinstatement provided you carefully monitor symptoms which might indicate TD.

 

On the other hand there are a few members who saw worsening of their symptoms after reinstatement. (Both of those that I remembered had vision problems. They stopped Lexapro and went on some other drugs and are a lot better now: Depressedtothecore and goldielocks). So even bad reactions didn't cause any harm in the long run. TD might be different but it's not clear from your description whether that was really it...

 

We also see people recover if they don't reinstate. So contrary to what may seem to you, you can't make a mistake. It's just a matter of picking your route and sticking with it. Whatever you do don't make sudden and rash decisions and changes. Those are most dangerous. Small changes which test the water keep you safe.

 

Also contrary to what may seem to you, you are very strong. You have survived through 3 months of suffering that most people can't even imagine. You found the source of valuable information. You will make it.

[Godiswithme]

Thank you so much Bubble.

[Godiswithme]

 

Hey GiWM - I agree with Alto, that reinstatement is risky for you, especially with Lexapro, because it is so strong.

 

One article I read implied I could go as high as 20 mg or 21 mg.

This sounds dangerous, and reckless. Especially given the symptoms you have reported here.

 

At most. At the very most. Because of your symptoms, I would not take over 1/2 mg of lexapro. That's 0.5 mg. Yes, how are you going to do that with 5 mg tablets? 1/10th of a tablet! It is a shame that the doctor wouldn't listen, and give you the liquid. Is there a chance you could go back and be more firm with your doctor, and get the liquid?

 

Otherwise, you can make your own liquid: How to Make a Liquid from Tablets or Capsule

and measure your daily doses with a syringe: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-using-an-oral-syringe-and-other-tapering-techniques/

 

It will probably take some practice with making the liquid and measuring with the syringe to get it right. What is most important is that you consistently take the same amount each day. Whether that is exactly 0.5 mg is less important, than keeping your doses consistent. Additionally - you will have to take this one at the same time each day, every day. No missing doses, no delayed doses.

 

Are you sure you are up for this? You have had difficulty taking your xanax on a regular schedule.

 

I was hoping that you would wait for the benzo to level out before trying a reinstatement. Really, all you've learned by going to the doctor, is that your doctor doesn't understand withdrawal, and has given you another script.

 

But if you are suffering so badly that you feel you must reinstate, try just 0.5 mg.

 

If you want to "test the waters" and see if this is going to work, open the capsule or crush the tablet, and take only the tiny amount that fits on the tine of a dinner fork. Literally, a crumb, to test and see if you are going to react to it. You can take this while you are learning to make the liquid, which will be a more measured dose.

 

If your tongue and jaw symptoms increase from that, quit immediately. If your symptoms improve within the first 4 days, you will know you are on to something.

 

If you do reinstate, it will be up to you to decide whether any side effects are worst than any relief you might get. Keep notes on paper, as you have been instructed here. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1779-rate-symptoms-daily-to-track-patterns-and-progress/

 

There is no magic 90 day cutoff for reinstatement. It is a rough guideline only. We've had failed reinstatements inside that window of opportunity, and successful reinstatements over a year out.

 

We can't decide for you. But I can suggest strongly that you respect this drug for the man-eating monster that it is, and try only the smallest, tiniest amounts. I have suggested here what you can do, and laid out a course to minimize the risk. Most of the moderators here feel it is not what you should do - but ultimately, it is your decision to make.

Thank you. It sure doesn't seem like I should do it. May I please ask if I can get much better than I am without doing this? It doesn't sound like it could get me to the point of holding a job at this point? I know no one knows for sure. But it seems as if Lexapro is the worst? Is the main reason against reinstating the tongue issue or is there more? Thank you.

Hello JanCarol, May I please ask you how the description of my symptoms enters into the feeling that reinstatement may not be the best idea? Thank you so much.