Godiswithme: I'm very scared

[Shep]

Nothing is damaged permanently, but you're going to be uncomfortable for awhile. I'm glad you're not out of control. Hopefully your CNS will settle down soon. Do try some "calming" things, though, like warm baths, gentle music, old gentle tv shows, etc. And it sounds like you may need a time-out from your family for a few minutes, too. 

 

It sounds like your family isn't understanding withdrawal and is subscribed to the chemical imbalance theory. 

 

Have you had a chance to look at some of the threads in the Relationship forum?  This thread in particular may be helpful:

 

Helping Family Understand Withdrawal

 

Or perhaps print out some of the threads on withdrawal such as this links listed in this thread:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

The best book I've read that is really convincing that these drugs are dangerous and doctors are reckless is:

 

Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic. 

 

Here's a brief video about the book:

 

 

These are very short videos but are good for explaining: 

 

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



 

 

VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



 

Please keep in mind that this is your mind and your body and you are the one that has to suffer the uncomfortable and sometimes outright painful results of these drugs. I hope the resources here can help settle this for you and your family. 

 

But again, this is your mind and your body and the decision is - and should be - yours. I know we are poor self-advocates when we're this sick, but it's on our own best interest to become our own advocates. 

 

 

 

 

[mona11]

If you have the liquid that 1 mg = 1 ml , it's fine. It means that you took only 1 mg. You just need to be sure that 1mg = 1 ml for the escitalopram you got. I didn't know they had 1 mg/1 ml, but if they do, that is really good. Shep will help you go from there and get to the best dose for you. You will be fine.

[Godiswithme]

Thank you Mona

[Shep]

If you have the liquid that 1 mg = 1 ml , it's fine. It means that you took only 1 mg. You just need to be sure that 1mg = 1 ml for the escitalopram you got. I didn't know they had 1 mg/1 ml, but if they do, that is really good. Shep will help you go from there and get to the best dose for you. You will be fine.

 

Thank you very much for mentioning this, Mona. That did slip by, so it's good you posted to confirm we were talking about the correct dose. 

[Godiswithme]

Nothing is damaged permanently, but you're going to be uncomfortable for awhile. I'm glad you're not out of control. Hopefully your CNS will settle down soon. Do try some "calming" things, though, like warm baths, gentle music, old gentle tv shows, etc. And it sounds like you may need a time-out from your family for a few minutes, too.

 

It sounds like your family isn't understanding withdrawal and is subscribed to the chemical imbalance theory.

 

Have you had a chance to look at some of the threads in the Relationship forum? This thread in particular may be helpful:

 

Helping Family Understand Withdrawal

 

Or perhaps print out some of the threads on withdrawal such as this links listed in this thread:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

The best book I've read that is really convincing that these drugs are dangerous and doctors are reckless is:

 

Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic.

 

Here's a brief video about the book:

Robert Whitaker, author Anatomy of an Epidemic

These are very short videos but are good for explaining:

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



 

VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



Please keep in mind that this is your mind and your body and you are the one that has to suffer the uncomfortable and sometimes outright painful results of these drugs. I hope the resources here can help settle this for you and your family.

But again, this is your mind and your body and the decision is - and should be - yours. I know we are poor self-advocates when we're this sick, but it's on our own best interest to become our own advocates.

Shep. Thank you so much.

Do you know how long when you say a while?

Can I fix this? If I drastically reduce the next 3 days?

[Shep]

 

 

Shep. Thank you so much. 

Do you know how long when you say a while?

Can I fix this? If I drastically reduce the next 3 days? 

 

There's really no way of knowing, but since you only took one dose, hopefully it won't be long.  

 

Are you going to try a lower dose (you mentioned .25 mg) and see how it goes? 

[Godiswithme]

 

Shep. Thank you so much.

Do you know how long when you say a while?

Can I fix this? If I drastically reduce the next 3 days?

There's really no way of knowing, but since you only took one dose, hopefully it won't be long.

 

Are you going to try a lower dose (you mentioned .25 mg) and see how it goes?

I don't know. I'm so scared right now. Thank you.

[bubble]

I understand you are scared. That's why we advise tiny doses. You have a complete control of the situation.

 

You can reduce or stop completely and these symptoms will disappear. No damage done.

[Godiswithme]

Bubble,

Thank you. So, if I take .25 from now on, this will probably calm down? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm getting so much pressure. The physical anxiety symptoms have gotten better, but my head is going to explode. From 1 mg??

[bubble]

Again, that's why we advise such tiny doses. There are no guarantees and sure answers but your reaction indicates 1 mg might be too much.

 

You can try with 0.25. Less drug means less symptoms. We will take it one day at a time.

 

Interesting that physical anxiety symptoms got better. Any other improvements? How long has it been since you took your dose? (Time doesn't really help since we are all in different time zones...)

 

This head feels like exploding is the revved up feeling you spoke about earlier? It should get reduced as the dose wears off and be less/hipefully go away at a smaller dose.

 

Breathing, calming exercises, distracting... are always very helpful.

[Godiswithme]

I took it 9 hours ago. I feel horrible. I have never felt this sick. Depression. I never really had depression. I had Lots of anxiety. This is just the worst feeling. Ive been fighting to make it the past 3 1/2 mos. The physical anxiety from the withdrawal Is horrendous, but I wasn't depressed. Just fighting to stay alive. I thought this might be a shot. Does anyone know for sure if I will have withdrawal from this? Not sure what I am going to do tomorrow. Thank you.

[Godiswithme]

The Abilify withdrawal is probably entering into this. I can't do anything about that.

I was just an average woman with some situational depression. My poor kids.

[Godiswithme]

So, I realized today as I was planning on reducing to .25 ml, I had only taken .1ml yesterday, not 1 ml.

And it was beyond horrible. Relief of some symptoms, but not worth the horrible revved up feeling, intense headache, among other things. Looks like I am not a candidate for reinstatement.

Any ideas on what this means for me? I am completely broken. I know there are links. I have read them and tried many. I guess this explains why I am practically bedridden?

What does this mean for my recovery? I know there are no guarantees. But are there many in or have been in my condition? Please anyone?

[Godiswithme]

Am I in danger when that dose registers with my CNS?

[Shep]

Most likely, you'll start to feel better over the next few days, at least it may not be as extreme as that initial shock to the system.

 

How much did you actually take in milligrams? Was that 1 mg? 

 

If reinstatement doesn't work, it doesn't mean you won't heal. It's just a harder journey. But many people do come off cold turkey and heal. I came off many drugs cold turkey and rapid taper and I'm healing. It's just going to take longer. 

 

And you'll have to rely on non-drug coping skills more. And really, in the end, if you stick to these non-drug coping skills, you will be stronger than you've ever been. Surviving this is one of the hardest things many of us will ever do. But we do survive. And we bring in these non-drug coping skills as a form of armor that will keep us safe and protected in the future. It also brings awareness, confidence, and insight, as many long, difficult journeys tend to do. So when we do finally heal, we can go out into the world and accomplish many things we might have been frightened of or intimidated by before this experience. 

 

In many ways, your sons will learn from this. They may not be able to process it all right now, not that their young and immature teenage years will allow. But they're getting a really good look at the dangers of these drugs and they will have the knowledge to not end up on them.

 

Again, we make poor self-advocates when we're this sick, but as we heal and grow strong, we become much better at this. Our words begin to carry the weight and the strength of our experience. 

 

So yes, it's hard for them now, but if this experience saves them from having to go through it themselves, perhaps there's "purpose".  And when there's purpose, there's hope. Don't give up now. 

 

If you feel that reinstatement is out of the question, even at a lower dose, than continue on with the benzo and when you've stabilized enough, you'll be able to slowly come off that one, too. 

 

 

[AliG]

G. I'm thinking if you take a breath it would be helpful. I understand that you're " revved up " and on a mission to get well but sometimes that urgency can " undermine " you and if you can stop and just breathe for a second or two it can have an incredibly calming effect on the CNS to the point where you can perhaps start to think clearly again. 

 

This " high alert " thinking can be detrimental to the body and soul in the short and long term. Finding ways to calm is so important to this process.

 

This link may help :

Guided Meditations, Calming Videos, Sleep Hypnosis

 

Ali

[Godiswithme]

Most likely, you'll start to feel better over the next few days, at least it may not be as extreme as that initial shock to the system.

 

How much did you actually take in milligrams? Was that 1 mg?

 

If reinstatement doesn't work, it doesn't mean you won't heal. It's just a harder journey. But many people do come off cold turkey and heal. I came off many drugs cold turkey and rapid taper and I'm healing. It's just going to take longer.

 

And you'll have to rely on non-drug coping skills more. And really, in the end, if you stick to these non-drug coping skills, you will be stronger than you've ever been. Surviving this is one of the hardest things many of us will ever do. But we do survive. And we bring in these non-drug coping skills as a form of armor that will keep us safe and protected in the future. It also brings awareness, confidence, and insight, as many long, difficult journeys tend to do. So when we do finally heal, we can go out into the world and accomplish many things we might have been frightened of or intimidated by before this experience.

 

In many ways, your sons will learn from this. They may not be able to process it all right now, not that their young and immature teenage years will allow. But they're getting a really good look at the dangers of these drugs and they will have the knowledge to not end up on them.

 

Again, we make poor self-advocates when we're this sick, but as we heal and grow strong, we become much better at this. Our words begin to carry the weight and the strength of our experience.

 

So yes, it's hard for them now, but if this experience saves them from having to go through it themselves, perhaps there's "purpose". And when there's purpose, there's hope. Don't give up now.

 

If you feel that reinstatement is out of the question, even at a lower dose, than continue on with the benzo and when you've stabilized enough, you'll be able to slowly come off that one, too.

No, I took .1 of a mg. thank you for all of the info.

I was wondering if I should try again using drops? So using much less than .1 mg.?

[Godiswithme]

May I please ask if I could attempt reinstatement again just using a few drops since I had such an intense reaction to only .1 mg?

[Godiswithme]

G. I'm thinking if you take a breath it would be helpful. I understand that you're " revved up " and on a mission to get well but sometimes that urgency can " undermine " you and if you can stop and just breathe for a second or two it can have an incredibly calming effect on the CNS to the point where you can perhaps start to think clearly again.

 

This " high alert " thinking can be detrimental to the body and soul in the short and long term. Finding ways to calm is so important to this process.

 

This link may help :

Guided Meditations, Calming Videos, Sleep Hypnosis

 

Ali

Ali. Thank you for responding. Those feelings came from reinstating the Lexapro. .1 mg was too much. Does anyone ever try using just a few drops?

[AliG]

I think Catnapt did and had a good result.

[Godiswithme]

Ali G. Will you please tell me if recovery takes longer when someone is unable to reinstate? Thank you

Catn apt actually ended up on the amount I took divided into 2. Would it make any sense to take a drop or two AM and drop or two PM?

[AliG]

G. There are no definite recipes here unfortunately or any other way of knowing what is definitely going to work for each individual. It is an inexact science at this point. 

 

Personally, I can tell you that after 9 months Cold Turkey off my last drug , I decided to ride it out even though there were some here that had RI after that amount of time or longer. The advice I got was to keep going and not RI.  At that point it's a gamble - but it has paid off for some/ and not for others.

 

I stuck with it and I don't really regret it. I'm 90 % healed and feeling good a lot of the time. There was a lot of .... to go through and it was rough along the way but it is anyway even if you taper, so I feel ok with that decision.

 

I'm 2 yrs 7 mths off and I'm pretty much there now but I think once you decide on a course of action you should stick to it .I think it's the to'ing and fro'ing that hinders progress and healing. 

[Godiswithme]

Were you functioning the entire time? Bathing, eating, interacting?

[AliG]

Not so much interacting - but the rest - yes. I basically cut myself off to heal. I lost sleep - big time . I didn't really sleep properly for two years. 

I sleep great now , though.  I knew it was only time and that I could do it . I was very positive , though.

[Godiswithme]

Are you able to interact now or do you enjoy it?

[AliG]

I can if I make my mind up to - however, to be honest I much prefer my own company at this point in time.

 

Anyway - this is you . How are you feeling now ? Symptoms?  Has RI helped?

[Godiswithme]

I reinstated 1/10th of a milligram and it was way too much. My central nervous system is very destabilized.

I was thinking of reinstating by drops. Maybe count the number of drops in that amount, reduce it and cut it into 2 doses?

May I ask if you were more sociable prior to this whole thing? I'm very sad right now. I'm sorry.

[AliG]

G . Don't be sorry. Yes , I was very different. Have you read Catnapt Intro ?

[Godiswithme]

Yes, I have. Thank you.

[AliG]

I'm sorry I can't be more help , G. We all want to help but sometimes it's so hard. Unfortunately, it's an inexact science. 

[Godiswithme]

Hello Moderators, I had a bad reaction to 1/10th of a mg for reinstatement. I was going to give up, but I was thinking maybe I could count the drops in 1/10th of a mg, reduce by a few drops and cut the remaining drops in half to take twice per day? Has anyone seen someone this sensitive to reinstatement? The 1/10th of a mg did relieve my tight chest and anxiety sensitive stomach, but made me feel waaaaaay too amped up and drugged out with a bad headache. Trading off bad for bad. I am asking this because even if I could resume any kind of function, it would help. Not looking for drama, just saying I am basically bedridden with symptoms. I was told reinstatement could help symptoms by 50%?

[Altostrata]

I don't know who told you reinstatement can help symptoms by 50%.

 

As you have observed, 1/10 mg is too strong for you. How are you measuring 1/10 mg?

[Altostrata]

 

 

Good to hear you're on a more regular schedule with the benzo. It may take some time for your system to accommodate, hopefully in a more calm direction.

 

If you can feel you need the second and third dose, I suspect you may either need more doses or a bit of an updose. Please discuss in the Benzo forum. But be sure to give regular dosing a chance, keep notes of symptoms relative to when you take your drugs.

 

Cold turkey is a high-risk way to go off drugs. We can't predict how long it will take for your nervous system to settle down.

 

Did you ever take Celexa?

 

May I ask for an opinion on me reinstating?

Anxiety unbearable. I never took Celexa. Not sure why you wanted to know. I thank you for your time. Much appreciated.

 

 

Because of the tongue symptom, I am wary of adding another drug.

 

Celexa is a close relative of Lexapro that is milder. If adding an SSRI seems like a good idea to you, you might consider adding a very small amount of Celexa rather than Lexapro.

 

Instead, I might consider increasing the daily benzo dosage, possibly by adding another dose or two, after you give evening out your schedule a trial. Please discuss with Wellness.

 

[Godiswithme]

Hello, with a syringe. It is really 1/10 ml. Bottle is 1mg = 1 ml.

[Altostrata]

If I were you, I'd try less.

 

What time of day do you take it? Given you find it activating, morning would make sense.

[Godiswithme]

I only took it on Sunday. Have you heard of people being successful with less than 1/10 of a mg? Thank you.